The Bald & The Beautiful Podcast | Couples Therapy ep310

hey y'all and welcome back to The Bold and the Beautiful my name is Melissa my name is Kevin Frederick I'm Angel thankfully in the building and uh we are back reviewing a new show the name of the show is called couples therapy it is on Showtime I just want to talk really quickly about how wrong Showtime is dear show time you are right wait a minute but before you tell them this episode is sponsored by Honey is sponsored by better no hellofresh and it's sponsored by Babel those are the three thank you guys so much for sponsoring today's episode which is a great episode of sponsor because we're talking about couples therapy and they're going to need all of the things they're going to need to talk a different language they're going to need the discounts and they're definitely going to need better help and people need they almost might as well have been naked the way they were sharing their information oh my God even in therapy you got to lie a little bit yeah this is my favorite show of all the shows we've uh reviewed I this is such a good show it is it is tell them why we messed up though man we didn't mess up Showtime messes up I do want to get back to you just stand with the writers yes really quickly if you haven't heard the is it wga yep wga wga which stands for writer's Guild of America possibly right it's a good army the writers killed I don't know if it's of America but it's writers I want to say Association but let me see wga stands for it stands for wait for Digestive writers get off Americans okay writer's Guild of that was attended I knew that he knew in the building I was a engineer over here he's like now now he's added that information got it I don't know I got don't worry about it Josh get behind the computer and push buttons I just believe him alone these folks are striking the Hollywoods they're striking um what's it called the Motion Picture Association movies The Producers I've been looking at all the acronyms the producers and so they're all just floating in my mind uh but they they mad at them because they ain't paying them the money and this show is an example of why this is the reason why and this is why we're going to be talking about two different seasons which is actually one season season three of show times couples therapy is 18 episodes long it should be two episodes one through two seasons thank you episodes one through nine should be season three and starting with episode 10 through 18 should be at season 4. but it's not like that they made it season three section one and section two that's how you get over on paying these people what they should be paid because it should be two separate Seasons yeah I just want to say that so we watched the first three episodes of season three part one Kevin Melissa watched the first three episodes of season three part two and when we was watching it I said let's why why is the first episode season episode 10 yes so we thought it was wrong ours had a date and this also was because you watching on the app yeah and she watching it on that yeah some stuff has days yes we need regular 1994 Family Matters comes on at eight seven Central on Friday and it ain't gonna be streaming it's gonna be on regular yeah Friday at seven I didn't initially when I sent the text I didn't initially see um episode numbers all I saw was a date and I was like oh okay let me make sure I put this date in here because it had whatever yeah I thought she was confirming that season three started right yeah yes and so it was all jacked up so all of that to say we'll be talking about uh season three part two which technically starts at episode 10 and they'll be starting they'll be talking about the couples in season three it's even confusing like this shutdown season four season four so I don't want to pay somebody we're doing season 3A they're doing season 3B here we go there we go just just note it um and then we'll all catch it next week but this is where we are but I agree this show is so if you've ever listened to um Esther Perez it is Esther thank you as Daryl perel's um where where should we begin I believe I said before we get started yes Before I Let You Go yes yes it is basically the audible version of this show so good is that why you what is there a specific reason why you like this show I like this show because I believe it is one of the most like when you talk about reality TV this is reality TV it is unscripted it is raw it is authentic it is real it is relatable like it is so freaking good also if they are actors I was like what is he doing he thinks he's cool the whole black with the with the r b beanie and the glasses yeah he's feeling this is 40 baby you feel me don't lose weight wear more black that's the key that's the motto for a clothing line yeah I did that all postpartum with little Marcus and everybody was like are you okay I was like I'm just fat don't lose weight wear more black I like your shirt I like it and it's going to be in black with letters in black and you can't even read it you gotta have a QR code uh what I was gonna say about the reality aspect is if they are scripted or actors these they're amazing Tony's Oscars all the awards because they be out here it feels like this show is so personal I feel like I shouldn't be watching this yeah like I feel I feel too intimately involved in these Sports relations it's almost like I want to be like you you all know I'm watching I just I just want to make sure you see the cameras that red mean it's recorded that man holding that yeah he heard you there's a disclaimer right y'all know this I I like it more than love at first sight or Married at First Sight No Love Love is Blind excuse me and Married at First Sight because these are Stakes that already existed before the show started where these other shows oh yeah I really feel like they make damn near mockery of marriage by having people just thrown together that don't know each other and so we're watching people give all the theatrics of ah but I'm in love because they know these are catch words that they have to say in order to be the couple that is um you know highlighted in the season where these are people who have done some really egregious things prior to the cameras rolling that are having to admit it and having to work out things in front of us and in front of a therapist so to your point it does feel way more authentic it makes it easier for me not to judge them so harshly with a Married at First Sight and love is I really see them as characters on a TV show as scripted characters that's why we go hard on them that I was thinking about that absolutely they're casted I mean but it's a different type of yes she might as well be somebody yeah she's just like I I don't I don't mean to like dehumanize them by saying I don't see this as people but I agree like they are character characters built into caricatures yeah and you know them reality shows and they're cast did as archetypes archetypes fully fully um to your point angel I do agree with this when the show starts they have a few like oh yeah we're here I don't like the way she does this and it makes I was like I ain't even got my socks off yet hold on we just met and the thing is we want to be Polly I feel like it's a need wait a second yeah what yeah hold on what you you don't love her yeah I feel like I had to marry her because my dad socked me one time wait a minute yeah and they already got like seven and 18 years in the game yeah so you're like okay this is some real stuff I'm trying to get up my Tick Tock followers I'm trying to be an Instagram star this is either this works out or we are getting a divorce there you go and there's no element of like and I'm also gonna Splash you with my drink or gotcha you know what I mean like it's premium reality yes not Shock Jock reality right elevated reality which we'll be getting more of because the writers are on strike at Hollywood get them TV shows going yeah you don't believe it is if you are a couple and you have even if you're not to be honest it's just really really good but if you are in a relationship I highly highly recommend uh where should we begin the podcast with Esther perel it's literally the same thing except you don't see the people just imagine this show but audio same thing um and couples therapy on obviously the show the only difference a stairs show they don't use their names and they change out details so you can't readily identify the people you know who these people are that's what I like about this it wasn't going to turn around because at first it's behind them and I'm like okay they talking crazy they're never gonna see their face then they was like and I hate him kind of wait the thing okay when we started we can start uh hold on a few years ago okay um we can start with so you guys watched the first three I don't know where to say y'all can start okay so you let's let's how are we gonna do it so they're gonna inform us hopefully it'll jog our memories but if not it will be learning about these couples in real time okay so the first couple we'll talk about and maybe we can flip-flop couples okay good how many couples did you guys do we got three cups or two okay we got four no we have one yeah two three four we have five people names too um so the first couple will bring up is Ping and will Okay pink and wheel are it's Asian he's oh he's white he's white there's about a 12 year age difference between the two she is the she's the Elder of the two and yeah they started off their relationship they were open because they were both exploring their baloney why burst bees smell like baloney because it came from down here yeah we quit I mean uh interrupt no one told me them dogs fart while they sleep oh they fart when they sleep awake all the time me and Melissa was in there Monty was taking a nap we watching this show it's three o'clock the dog is laying on the corner I said this it smelled like death I said what and Monty is laid out hot butt air came up through the bed I said what is going on ain't nobody told me nothing they gonna do this look at he ain't big it is terrible outside yeah no it does it makes it you feel like okay so you're about to die here soon is that what you're trying to let us know somebody is watching them catch a whiff of it yeah yeah but they'd be like what got up out of me I'll kill it now I'll kill it y'all real quick I'm gonna post it earlier I mean I'm gonna post it later this week I was helping my son with his Spanish test uh he had to learn um adjectives so we were doing fail and in Bonito in anticipicato I didn't said it wrong but the way we were having to study this I said oh baby I wish I could have given him the gift of Babel because let me tell you when you are trying to learn Spanish whether it be just because you're wanting to you know Enlighten yourself or if you're learning a foreign language because you're going to some amazing country like the Fredericks just did inshallah the way we climb come on you better say thank you in Arabic pronunciation is great you practice well you know I'm so glad that there are things that we don't have to learn in the Traditional School setting anymore so if you have an upcoming summer trip abroad um my go-to travel hack is Babel whether you're a seasoned traveler or embarking on your first Adventure communication is key to fully experiencing a new culture that's where Babel comes in Babel is the language learning app that is sold more than 10 million subscriptions thanks to Babel's addictively fun and easy bite-sized language lessons they're still time to learn a new language before you reach your destination um so while I learned Spanish back in grade school I am very very Rusty so for me being able to go to Babel and y'all know I ain't got no time these these lessons are like 10 minutes long Max and you're able to start really learning conversational Spanish this is not only good for us because you know we have anniversary trips coming up and a lot of times we go to places where English is not the first language but also we live out here in Los Angeles and where there's oh well you know where there are a lot of people who it would be easier for us in to be able to speak Spanish to them and we would have a better communication and Babel makes it happen with Babel you only need 10 minutes to complete a lesson so you can start having real life conversations in as little as three weeks babble's expertly crafted lessons are built around real life you learn how to have practical conversations and trap about travel relationships business and more other language learning apps use AI for their lesson plans but babbles lessons are created by a hundred over 150 language experts and voiced by real native speakers not computers their teaching methods have been scientifically proven to be effective and with Babel you can choose from 14 different languages plus Babel speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation and accent there's so many ways to learn with Babel in addition to lessons you can access podcast games video stories and even live classes plus it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee start your new language learning Journey today with Babel right now get up to 55 off your subscription when you go to babel.com that's babel.com for up to 55 off your subscription Babble language for Life language for life so they were both ping and wheel were both exploring their sexuality when they met they did yes yeah well hey what's my sexuality exactly yeah and it was interesting because they it's seeing their Dynamic ping just thinks what's his name will will she's like he's a crybaby he's in therapy shedding tears she was like he's whining and crying that's all he does is whine and cry while he's crying while he's crying actively sobbing oh no so let me let me give you a little quickly okay they thought um this is I I don't like this show Emmy Greg tried to uh no me and Greg was reviewing this okay and it's uh this season no the first season two or something like that um is I yeah I don't know it's people is going through some going through some things and I'm watching I'm like listen what the hell we supposed to talk about with these people oh I've watched so much a few of them is like why are you used to that that's why I can't I have a hard time removing myself like why why the hell you still here then like you're getting treated this bad I'm very black and white I can go straight to the end get up out of here if you don't like it I see people and how and not to say is always one person the villain and one person's a saint but it's just like if you feel that bad about somebody don't put them through that if you truly love them your trash ass need to leave well you know what it's because and this is not trying to toot our horn I think it's because you're only like real real relationship has not been a toxic one I think I've had potential for some toxic ones guess what I did well yeah that's what I'm saying hahaha you've been out you've never allowed yourself hey you've never allowed yourself to fall in love with someone first time he just kicked the second time let me let me get a little running shoes to Angel's Point Marcus if whatever happened between you and Angel right is 16 years 17 it'll be 16. I'm wishing this on you I'm just curious give it to me if you now have to fight for something after 16 years you ain't gonna want to do that to Angel no no if I if I'm if I'm fighting for it that means to me it's worth fighting for that's what it is but if she ain't budging if I see myself working and I feel I see you act like you don't love me maybe I don't then bye Marcus that ain't fighting you that was one disagreement no I said if I'm actually fighting and I don't see no budge it's gonna take some time a couple weeks maybe a couple months Melissa is hurt maybe a couple months and the fact of the matter is they are both actively Trying by being at the therapist they said ping and will said no yeah we did because so we can't go to them yet basically we got three options the last very last option is come to therapy and make it work that's your last option no she said the first option is the one they didn't want which was the dissolve like to divorce she said we don't want that one that's the worst case scenario but anyways let's get back to depending wheel real quick so we can either all right he's stuck on me um don't budge and see what happened I ain't gonna be trying to pull it up for the middle of the arms agreed to an open relationship and then will started to be like yo but don't don't be going out long walks with them don't be having conversations with them just basically go have sex and then come home put your clothes on get on back and she was like that's not sexy to me I want to have like uh intimate relationship with these people and um she was like with him like she was like so we decided okay we'll just have an open relationship and we will be in a relationship with other couples and she was like a lot of the guys would not really respond to him so it was more difficult she said so this respond to her husband yes or something wrong with you ugly or something because he don't want to do this no like no I think a lot of the men in these couples that were probably like being like we'll be open with you all the men probably aren't actually bisexual right oh sexually with them with the husband yes so she said I'm gonna start helping you write like based basically your pickup letters like how to like engage with these men before they started off they would have they would have a couple or a person together yeah then they were like no we can do it separate that's when he came up with the boundaries in the room because he wasn't having good luck at it so she was like oh yeah I don't have more stuff like whose idea was it to do the open relationship it was both of them yeah that's how they came back to church that will be uh she they both she said the reason why they became attracted to each other is because they both wanted to explore everybody want to be at least for this that I'm thinking of it always seemed like one person wants to explore no I shouldn't say always but for what they show displayed on the show somebody wants to explore someone's leading the charge and then someone says I don't want this no more I just want you well this is exactly what happened once he started having good luck he was like well we don't gotta have to do this together I can do this and she was like well where are you going why are you always out here in these streets you don't care about me where you at and then they said they were gonna go to Korea to teach English she was like sure but she really didn't want to do it they got married he left for Korea four months after she stayed this man just in Korea teaching okay she's teaching for a year four years and then when he came back that's when things kind of just she was like I'm looking at a stranger he was like oh I I don't really know how to exactly yeah so that's that's where they're at and she's angry you know what it is about the show you just said it uh to talk to Marcus's earlier point you meet them at their Within part of therapy yes this isn't like you know Melissa and I we started therapy not as alike it's either this or it's over it was like you know we should figure some things out we could use some help these people are like you got three sessions I'm not or I don't see no like Marcus's point if I don't see some budging their their starting point is so intense they really should have been being talked to or or working this out um you know months ago but they have already like yeah it's like done in everything else relationship is that Jenga set right at that last block and that bad boy is teetering it's like we need you to put a block back or this thing is done yes and all the all the middles are gone oh the middle um so okay okay hold on we got generic questions to ask you guys about this okay number one uh your assessment should they stay should they break up just this early on uh they should break up they should have been done broke up from her look this man is over here you know she's like here he goes oh man this man is like right up because it's one-sided it's like he's true it seems like from these from what we saw he's truly trying to make something happen yeah it's not working she's just like I can't deal with him he says it I don't want to do it she's Asian he's white yes and she's older that's not honestly what I fully see what I think it is is what this is what pisses me off about the show this is the only thing that I don't like I don't feel like their therapist gives them any tools she literally is telling them what she sees guiding them to say the things that she believes that she sees and then is just like all right I think early on it seems like she's trying to get the that person to hear the other person yeah or get that person to hear themselves like so because it is time she'll be like so did you hear what you just said to him like this is how that's coming off yeah and then they're like yeah also her listening face is really intense that dog on eyebrows I'd be like girl relax your face like the rock is finna do wrestling talk she just be so like like Ice Cube just like Marcus is looking that's how she looks so I'm like if she don't give help this uh Asian woman ping with how to better communicate what she's actually feeling instead of leading with anger they're going to have this yeah cyclical problem angry as hell every time he can be like laughs [Music] Bernie Mac live yeah flies and then he just he's just like and then he could you could see him check out yeah he checked as soon as she starts talking strong he's just like I can't and I'm like dude why are you doing this to yourself wait do you guys remember their actual ages um I think she is in her 40s and he is down in his uh 30 30s yeah early early 30s okay all right uh so let's I'll do a couple similar let's do yeah there was a bunch of polygamous relationships that's I said this is the problem I have this question okay let's start with oh I don't know what couple to start with you want to do Nadine and Christina as the polygamous couple you want to do Sean and Erica is Sean the Asian dude in the black girl yes yes let's start with him so we have a couple Sean and Erica and essentially what happened was they had her open relationship but it was one of those uh as long as we agree this is the agreement within our relationship anything outside of that is considered cheating okay okay he I'm not quite sure what his job is because she said he he's been unemployed for the last five years but for whatever reason his job found him in Colombia and traveling to different states he cheated no he didn't Melissa or I'm sorry he had activities he this dude those were his words he gaslighted no hold on okay he had activities and then she figured something was happening so she asked him did you have an affair he says no for months months then she says have you ever stepped out on me and he says yes he said when you ask you if I had an affair you were asking the wrong question oh because my God today there means I had an emotional relationship and I cared about this person all I did was have sex with somebody but it was in a state we don't live in so it doesn't count and I went to Columbia and spent like exactly it literally was like it's in a different state he went to Columbus like a different country like I'm literally not even in the U.S and they got on the phone and she was like he was like oh my God I miss you like so much and she was like um I don't know why I'm naughty there we go uh she was like uh I'm surprised you haven't taken care of that and he was like oh this is my license to cheat and she was like no it was your license to masturbate like I'm so confused why you just automatically assumed that I meant you could cheat on me no like I met you should masturbate and so they ended up having this full discussion and all he does the entire session is lie high gas light and is like purposely elusive so she'll ask questions like you know you know what do you believe about cheating like what is your belief system when it comes to cheating he's just like I believe we should be happy so she's like oh I'm asking you a very specific question what do you think about like monogamy I believe that the people in my life are there for a reason right so I got all that so the question that I'm asking people to watch it and not get angry we were angry look y'all angry watching it yes put yourself in that situation put me saying that [ __ ] how long you gonna stick around we wouldn't have made it there that's what I'm saying but that's again again again again again again it's what people have experienced like you can't take away people's past like trauma and then apply what you you know and ignore it that's what I'm saying but uh what I am saying is that they could make all their lives better if they had hellofresh their marriages might be better to fix them right yeah Angry Words and we can fix it here at tbtv okay so flavor is in full bloom at hellofresh enjoy the taste of spring with Chef crafted recipes featuring ripe seasonal ingredients delivered right to your door if you didn't know hellofresh you get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your door when the spring Sunshine is calling your name don't call for takeout get hello fresh instead their quick and easy meals make feeding your family a cinch and without the high price tag for new Fast and Fresh options already in just 15 minutes or less last night I made these tempura uh tilapia tacos dang Angel what is you a professional chef and then you're just using the recipe they gave you if they call me Chef hello fresh okay and at first I was a little I was like a little worried because it had like uh jalapenos radishes and then cabbage and they all these things are raw you know what I'm saying and I was just like this is I don't know how the radishes are going to go with the cabbage and the lime juice oh my gosh these tacos they were so good I was shocked you'll see it in my Vlog yeah when you came I came down and you would put it out put it up oh I'm sorry because that was full but I was like I'm gonna get one more yeah one more time the stove was clean I said this half of them I did it was so good I actually made two meals I made a mushroom risotto too and that thing slapped as well it was on the top corn on my plate so I'm telling y'all y'all need to get it the recipes are great even if it's something you've never had before trust me once you cook it and make it you will love it so this is what we want you to do go to hellofresh.com and use code TV TV 16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping again go to hellofresh.com and use code TV tv16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping it's hello fresh America's number one meal kit love it so you be getting angry y'all be getting angry this one specifically I in ended up binging the entire season in one night because I was like completely and totally captivated and we were also jet lagged and I was just like I couldn't go to sleep but this couple specifically he it's he he he pisses me off he is very it's hard to tell one of the things that I um really really truly enjoy about this show is watching Dr Orna thank you um get um guidance from her yeah yes and her peers I specifically for this couple it was really good to see because she was struggling with him um and I and it was good because as an audience member you're also like they need to get off the show I don't know she was so frustrated I didn't mean to interrupt you Marcus but she was like I'm so frustrated with him I don't even think I can be his there I can't help them oh she said that out loud that's what I was about to say the episode the season me and Greg was watching she had to go to up there because then it was just one lady she was telling her coach or her therapist it was like I want to tell her to leave yeah she needs to get out of this yeah and I'm sitting there watching like tell us please because she's like I don't know and this [ __ ] then the third's like well you can't give you can't tell them what to do you can only show them how to communicate such a horrible person this is after weeks and weeks she was just like I don't she does not need to be going through this with you that's hilarious typically I shouldn't do this but I how many policies I don't part of the reason I don't think I could like as much as I enjoy stuff like this I would never want to be the person offering these people advice because I get to a point with people where I'm just like so you just want to continue to be stupid so then I'm out go with God listen I'm the same way in friendships it takes everything in me to just be like because I know I'll get frustrated if I keep feeling like I'm giving advice that is helpful and you just want to keep doing the thing that I'm saying is going to hurt you go ahead and do it that's what I'll be like okay oh okay okay and when you was done that's my friend I've done it with family me too like hey maybe you should do this so did you yeah yeah I'm Gonna Keep do you think you should do that and then come to me crying but I told you that's what I'd be I'm not that I know all but then I'll tell you I have to pick up the phone can you help me yeah no this is what you get it's what you deserve this is why it is everything about your choices say you wanted this result don't come to me crying I ain't gonna look I'm busy you turn into ping I got to get back to work yeah crying again let us do because we have five couples let us do one more please before we go to you okay so then the other couple women answer the questions so you think they split up I so this is so hard because I because I binged the whole season so I was able to watch the evolution um but at this point actually I'm not even gonna say that yeah I'm gonna say yeah they should get they should not um there is I I hate love their Journey because it truly is of all the couples a journey okay to see where he is and where they end up and obviously uh when they go to cut this show there's some things that they include I I think purposely so it kind of of course yeah their evolution um however he comes across a little bit narcissistic that's not exactly what it sounds like so I'm not saying he is a narcissist I'm just saying there's traits there um however that's not something that can just be number one I don't know that you can like therapize your way out of being a narcissist I think you are a narcissist and that's kind of the end okay I think you can manage some of your behaviors but I think at the end of the day if you're like diagnosed narcissist I think you are a narcissist so I just don't know that like if he's able to be different the whole time he's able what you think uh I agree the thing that's kind of crazy about him his ideology and the other part about this that's interesting is I think we'll probably talked to is it's so interesting watching them connect to their uh I was not sleep Marcus I'm awake take your sunglasses no I'm waiting I know it's breathing change I should be breathing hard um right now they're awake they be connected look but David connects to their childhood in ways that they have not ever realize and watching them come to that realization and it'd be the things that are so um that you wouldn't think something like that connects in that way but it like locks into place and that's now how they see the world uh in regards to him I saw one thing that I thought was really an interesting way of putting it so in their open relationship uh Erica I believe is her name she basically was like we should be an open relationship same thing as one of y'all couples are opinion this year and then the girl was like I grew up not believing in the idea of monogamy until I got him and then I wanted all of him yeah right so basically it switched he was like as long as as long as I don't know what you do then it doesn't matter to me right he said what what I don't know can't pissed me off right so he was like go have the same couple same person the problem was it was very obvious you know this but it's interesting to see so clearly you cannot put your belief system on your partner and expect them to do it so he felt like because if she wouldn't have sex in Columbia or out of state and never told him that'd be fine with him then it was it was uh automatically okay for him to do that but that was not okay nor was that with within the relationship wasn't okay if they discussed rules so that's a goddamn line and he lied the whole time I'm not defending it oh I'm just saying his reasoning was if you did this I wouldn't care therefore you should not care because I did what I'm okay with you doing got it yeah but she was like I never said I was okay with that and what I said you did the opposite me saying you can jack off because you miss me is not the same as you can take forty dollars down to Colombian market and get Spanish Kushi where did that come from I said just you own me very specific yeah well well she lowkey said she did it oh she was like you he was like we don't have to get into specifics oh so you hired our prostitute yeah he said he literally said forty dollars the American dollar is still strong in some countries um the thing I also then we can I know we got to move what I think is really interesting about this show it has broadened my horizons to couples but your boundaries only need to apply to your absolute relationship and even within open relationships bisexual all this you and the same monogamous couples Like Us in heteronormative couples at the end of the day if the boundaries are broken it don't matter what your rules are if y'all break them there it's the same thing absolutely it's the other polyamorous couple we'll we'll get into I'm okay with you being open but she got pissed off you went and took her medicine because she was sick what is this that'll be making those relationships difficult because the the boundaries are so much more um it's not a hard line complex it's not that it's not a hard line there's complexities we have no complexities Towers it is you cannot yes there is no like but in this scenario there are no scenarios that it works what I will say about these uh type of shows like somebody put it in here and I'm like watching these type of shows just discredits all of that crap somebody said that's how men be unfortunately there is trash people on both sides of these fences come on there good people on both sides that's what I was going to say I like about this on a single sex outside of Erica three couples weekend two other women are absolutely horrible and our couples Erica might be the only faultless person that I've seen so far the two gay women nor do I identify but your personality stuff you is a you and you ain't black is that the couple y'all going to next no I don't want to do this no but I'm just saying like to Marcus's Point yeah yeah it ain't just a minute you can't just be putting stuff on me it's the people the the Mormon girl I just told an actual family member the other like two weeks ago you might be a little bit toxic you got a little bit summer walk in here the lady just got a teeth and Marcus were listening to a song from the 90s that he had never never heard sometimes I love her sometimes I love a knot anyways the song talks about the name of the dude I can't remember them song this is basically sometimes the lack of a better uh explaining it cheating on him in front of him no she's just losing her mind and he's talking about you uh crashed my car no he said she likes to get in she he goes she likes to get into confrontations with me testing my patients to see how far she can go before I lose my head yes Marcus was like she's toxic as hell and he's just smoking stuff was toxic a lot of them that relationship that um side piece waiting Whitney Houston is Whitney Houston's daughter she just didn't know yeah no but what's the Lauren Hillstone that I'm thinking of that song it don't sound like it is because what is it it's uh is it it's something about something being uh oh Marquita did SWV Marquita talked about this on her show oh my gosh that's exactly what it is you rather make it hard come on they talking about killing each other yes loving you is like battle we both end up with scars yes wait what that's something that's the beginning oh thank you 78 right now [Music] tell me who I have to be no matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know it ain't working it ain't working and when I try to walk away you hurt yourself to make me stay this is crazy this is crazy and that's just me this is crazy can we just singing it care for me [Music] that's sometimes I love her that's exactly what I thought of yes I was like oh no why but look there was a lady it was a black couple on the season being great watch this woman I mean firecracker flipping out and this man was so quiet and calm he was like and this is where we end up every time and I'm sitting there looking like that if people would have sat there and look at this covers like this this is a very bad relationship it's very toxic who's it come from people are probably him look at him over there he wants to go out here with his boys because he doesn't have peace at home yes he offers to take her to dinner why we gotta go to dinner because if I don't take you to dinner then you mad why aren't you taking me to dinner I just offered how about I cook for you you never cook but I'm offering to cook because you won't like this is how the whole the whole thing I'll be wanting her to pull the crazy one out and be like imma talk to you separately because you need help who's the next person because I know y'all gotta go today yes we do you was really studying them lyrics I was like what I didn't realize that oh I have to be to get some rest of profit that sounds crazy literally singing it cleaning up the kitchen or something that's it now wait what did she just listen I was at a birthday party they played Toxic song after Toxic song I played them for Marcus it was that song Sometimes I love her then it was Carl Thomas I wish I never met her then it was Darnell Jones uh where I want to be is Rob Thomas's face when he drove past her and she was putting that stroller down he said ah family the 90s had all toxic love songs yeah and that's why all of us are the ones in therapy because that's what we was listening to girls because we were like yeah this toxic relationships all this music be toxic we just be ignoring the lyrics you know what I'm not ignoring is saving money today's episode is sponsored by Honey the easy way to say when you're shopping on your iPhone or computer now I love when I find a deal especially if it's something that I've been looking for for a while and I've already budgeted how much I want to spend and then I find out I'm going to get to spend less that'll be appraised come on don't it it'd be like Lord why do you love me more than everybody else that's how I feel well I love being surprised by a deal but I also love knowing that there's something helping me find deals and that's where Honey comes in Honey manually searches for coupon codes uh so that excuse me honey does the searching for coupon codes so that you manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past honey is a free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your card so this is how it works imagine you're shopping at one of your favorite sites right and when you click uh when you check out the honey button appears and all you have to do is Click apply coupons and in a few seconds the honey searches for coupons it can find for that site if honey finds a working coupon you'll watch the price drop um I am working on having our house fully like decorated furnished the way we wanted to by the end of the year because it takes me some time I'm not Melissa Fredericks Melissa Fredericks it take her two seconds and our house is like voila um so for me though because of the big things that I want to do for our house I need to save money so when we had did a Mars room a while ago I used honey to be able to find some of um the curtains that we use curtain rods I was able to actually get a deal on an ottoman that we bought all these things were so amazing because we were able to save money um in a nice amount I think we had like a 20 off coupon on one of the things I said now come on honey thank you honey doesn't just work on desktops it works on your iPhone too just activated on Safari on your phone and save on the go if you don't already have honey you could be straight up missing out and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this show get PayPal honey for free at joinhoney.com that's joinhoney.com okay this thank you guys this was very good episode we're not going to get through all these couples so I'm gonna do this one real quick so y'all can do y'alls and then we could probably end so uh so wait time out next week we are doing all of season um part two part we'll jump to part two yes so we need to be finished with that no we'll just do the next three episodes because we gotta at least make it to the ultimatum okay four through six yeah copy you copy you and then the last week we can just finish it up okay uh this is Brock and Christy okay this is what this is the girl I was telling you about yes she is toxic so this relationship she is she is this relationship this is what's funny about this relationship and I'm excited for you guys to see it because in the beginning it seems like they go to her because um they grew up churchy well in church they grew up Mormon she has what she calls a faith crisis which I just really love that language and her eyes become open she leaves the church she leaves the church he doesn't so it's very key though yes so it seems this is like so key their relationship is at this Crossroads because she feels like you didn't support me when I left the church and Jesus was on the cross I just feel like she actually says later in the season which was just a really powerful moment to me um she says you said you needed to leave for personal reasons I don't understand why as your wife I wasn't enough of a personal reason was I was like oh my God girl I love this really good so like the whole first episode and a half you're just like oh wow like where are you guys gonna do like this is so great and so he's sitting there and he's like uh they're go they're going through they're talking about they went through all these hard times and 2020 happened and she's like um and we had this really beautiful moment and 2020 was great in the summer and it was black lives matter and the pandemic and I found like meaning and purpose in my life and he had just left the church and we're great so I'm like why are you guys here like it seems like everything's fine and so he said so then he says um I don't really know where to go from here and I'm like what are we missing she's like what do you mean he's like well you know like something really bad is happening uh the wife otherwise she's acting real dumb so she's like you know what do you mean he's like you know something really big happened and like I feel like we should discuss it we're kind of like dancing around it and she's like oh that big thing and so the therapist is like what's happening y'all talk to me yeah like you guys are talking in code I don't know what's happening and he's like I don't want to say it unless you say it like even though he clearly brought it up and clearly wanted to talk about it so she's like the big thing is I cheated on him why you gonna play it like it was just this okay I stepped on his new Jays that's exactly how it came across like oh that big thing you need to lead with that now girl that's the whole first episode you should have started there yeah that's why y'all here then this is going good no and that's what I'm saying I was like why are y'all here clearly you guys are in this great I'm so confused why you guys are here so then ciao that was the first little string in the whole sweater unraveled oh wow so then immediately so wait but let me say one more okay now here's why the church leaving is important so when they left the church yes uh she felt like he didn't have her back yes because she's having a faith crisis with the Mormon Church they're misogynistics things like that so they she leaves he doesn't because they both grew up in it yes yes it's hard to leave yes yes the person that she gets involved with is also leaving the Mormon church at the same time as she is so in her mind she didn't say this but she basically said that you betrayed me you cheated on me first by not leaving the church when I left right they were open to an open relationship they were open to an open relationship he was open to it she said he said just don't do it with that guy okay on Earth you can do the open with I'm okay with it who does she let up in that Gucci the main guy the one the dog the one the one I told you yeah anyways you could have anything you want just don't touch this apple I love apples but she over here trying to compare apples to Tigers you you didn't leave with me in the Mormon church just just like me sleeping with the dude you said not too they are not the same thing and that's not the same thing like that's not and I feel you I really do feel you but that ain't equal that ain't your get back that's not it's he stopped on her toes and she shot him twice you go to Cabo without me you don't be like well I'm a sex that feeling that was off wait a second wait a tick so then what does he do no I'm gonna sex and so he cheats back and then she's like who with just somebody oh I was about to say what the same thing and now she's like over relationships over over relationship is over we're back to just me and you now animal play bring in the fun y'all what's the rain what's the p on you called golden shower wet play or what's it called when you like that no I think it is wet play wet plane wet play yeah they don't stay on the terrible scat so do you all think that they should break up so Kev what do you think should they break up I just want to say women are trash too she was terrible the entire season I'm very anti-hur yeah I'm very the guy is really nice some things that are like really good and then I'd be like yeah girl but no I think what's I agree with you what's unfair from her point of view on this scenario is expecting him to have the same Journey as you at the same liquid play the same Journey as you at the same time is unfair yes and and then blaming him and counting that as betrayal is unfair I get like the personal the personal reasons I get how she feels but me and Melissa had our own faith crisis but we had them for our own reasons it's unfair for me to be like this is how I feel about the church and because you don't feel how I feel when I her feeling that way also is partly because she's a woman and the way that church is set up absolutely it's misogynist it's gonna take longer for a man right because it's benefiting from the beliefs even if he doesn't realize it absolutely so it's like hard for him to see however the point she made about why wasn't I a good enough reason it's a solid Point yeah especially your wife feeling that way and as she's gone no it is it is no because I see how talk about it I see how so here's I think this is the couple she said this on he was telling his story and she was like no that's not right it happened like this she said you're getting bogged down on the facts when the truth is the narrative is more important man it was a narrative that your partner is telling themselves is more important than the actual fact that tells you more about what's happening and a lot of times people shoot like people get stuck on the facts and I get that as a person who looks for the facts and I was like oh that's a good point for me Kevin that's what I didn't like about the show I was like what time it pause do you feel like this about me forget them people I feel like you might feel like this this is why we're watching you watch these episodes it was so good uh but tell me why you don't think that's a solid point I mean it's a point but it's not like for her to be like me leaving should have been a personal enough reason for you to leave when you're dealing with somebody's faith if my faith is only connected to how you feel about it and when your feelings change on it then my feelings are have to change then I should no longer Call It by faith I should call it yours and then I am going to attach how I feel about it connected to you and on top of that to your point about the Mormon church for them the church for us that is when you grow up like they grew up how we grow up that's woven into the fabric of your identity that's the other thing yeah I leave the church or have a faith crisis is an identity crisis apps if that's who I am I don't be like okay that's what I'm you you unplugged that's what I mean by it's not the same personal yeah yeah yeah I no I actually think this is a good point two things brought up thing number one is the thing that I end up the reason why I don't end up liking her throughout the season is because she is quite literally having an identity crisis and as she is coming to these which I can do as well try but as she's coming to these new um Revelations she's holding on to them so tightly almost too tightly that she becomes very inflexible to hearing his and that comes across she comes across a little stubborn she comes across as just inflexible like I can't hear his side because this is how I feel and I don't understand why you don't feel and understand how I feel and he you can't have anything different that's where I kind of like am antiher with that said um because of some of her experiences like personally uh I think she had like sexual trauma at the hands of the church yeah that's what I'm saying I'm a little bit unfair because I ended up watching the whole season so she has like some very like yeah yeah we have generalized we have very or I have very generalized issues that I've had at the hands of the church um that have impacted me in a way that's personal but I haven't been personally wrong right by the church if that makes sense yeah because hers are so personal um and specifically we're talking about like sexual abuse I I will want you to Stand By Me did he know that yes okay that's yes and so that's her thing but also to the point of which I do understand there's both sides right where I do feel like you do need to have your own relationship but I also I would very much be like not I don't like them I'm gonna need you not to like them too and it's a little bit harder with the Mormon church because they are a little more streamlined unlike uh uh type of churches that we went to where you can go to different churches in the Christian faith and get a completely different experience with the Mormon Church whatever one church is learning on a Sunday every other church across the world is learning the same yeah they're streamlined kind of like the Jehovah's Witness where it ever like it gives you more control it gives any organization all that stuff so in that case it's kind of like you can't even say well let's just go to another place and see how they should it's going to be the same you might be different people but same ideas same ideology same type of behavior you're going to see um y'all want us to run through one more couple you want to do sending y'all because they seem yeah yeah I know that's why I want them yeah yeah so that's a gay couple it's two uh women black woman and then a woman who she's something else she's in there's an ambiguousness maybe Asian maybe Filipino maybe Latino Puerto Rican because we don't know no we're not [Laughter] [Music] black they have a baby their kids are Puerto Rican who knows my curly hair out I'm Puerto Rican now it's hilarious uh sin is the the non-black woman okay she's the one where she's like uh they ain't had no type of intimacy you know almost a year in a year no sense like nope coochie approaching a year like I'm thinking they're a couple weeks from a year oh wow um and since like I just not attracted to her I do not find her attractive at all is taking these blows to the face and I'm like yeah so if if you were sin you would face directly to the camera to talk this is Yaya as Sin is saying to the I don't find her attractive I don't want to she's tried many times to be intimate with me and I'm like she's the one where therapy was the last resort she was like we could be uh she said the worst she said optional one is uh is us not be together and we I don't want that option number two is Let's Be open she doesn't want that and option number three is therapy and that's why we're here to try to work it out sin just wants to smash other people she said she never saw getting married she did not see that for herself and she said then I met this her and she's like so per she's the type of person you want to be married to she's you know loving caring all of this they got two kids now yeah they got two kids she said we had kids she said then I hit 40 and was like what the hell am I doing I want to explore I want to be out here I feel every erotic design I'm trying to be outside she was like you got me inside yeah she's like and I don't that's what she said she said I feel like I'm in a sleeping bag yo yo yo yo whatever she just no and not facing forward she is turned to her receiving oh all of this all this feels yeah she's like so Woody the therapist like what you think about it she was like yeah it's um is this your phone call um and I just I'm trying to give her yeah she said I don't wanna that's it and this that's y'all this is just like oh and no do you you do him give it too much by putting our at one point in time at one point in time yeah yeah I did I don't want to smash it no more doc one point in time Yaya started crying this is you Yaya crying this is with sin did she said this is crazy this is the reason why I did not I this is when I started to turn on the therapist because I feel like she's spending a lot of time trying to get Yaya to react to sin because she feels like sin is being and sin you could tell talks to Yaya crazy says mean things to her all the time and she's even admitted it and sin is said basically because the therapist led her to believe to to come to this realization she's doing it to get a reaction out of Yaya and so the therapist is like you know you've gotta let say the things it's like no correct this [ __ ] over here saying the mean thing yeah don't don't be like well the reason she's behaving this way is because no she's wrong now yes this child over here needs to have a little bit more self-worth and not uh uh allow herself to be demeaned by this chick because apparently she's a great person and someone else would scoop her up and snatch her up but she really she was like I don't want to force sex on her they it eventually came out that sin was was uh molested by her uncle and her parents that traumatic experience like the way she explained it I was like what it was it was pretty terrible she was really young and she said my mom asked me if she said I didn't tell my mom and she asked me about it I guess when she got older as she was like which let me know that my mom sent something else would you ask right but did nothing so it was like I see a lot of anger are you angry yeah I'm angry my mom maybe around my uncle angry my dad like and so the therapist thinks that because her wife is so motherly that she's placing that resentment on her which is what I'm saying that that's where the dog on childhood you always always connects somewhere down the line and I get there's a reason behind it but you're still wrong so treating this person they walk in and the therapy you know she got the little dog in there so the dog walk in walks over to Yaya starts paying the dog she's like yeah they always the kids the dogs they always just go love on her [ __ ] cause you evil a dog since you're from all the way you walk around all me it's really it's hard it's heartbreaking to watch because you can tell like yeah yeah you wish that she would snap on her at one point in time be like say something else smart to me right and I'll leave your ass you can be free to trial up everywhere but instead she literally and she says I don't like when she gets this upset and so I I kind of retreat to kind of not not aggravate her even more I was like this is sad I'm like listen what the hell see you harboring that anger at Melissa when it's really displaced the wga strikers I um cannot imagine I but the point that I realized you're talking to me like this we're not going to therapy we're going to divorce court we're going to jail yeah because because no because absolutely not she played in her face said and and there was no they went to jail she uh there was no like you know some people they would feel some type of way to be like I'm not attracted she was like I don't find her attractive she was like I don't I don't find you attractive when when your face my brain turns the image upside down I don't like it I don't like it when I admire I don't understand what are they holding on to what is the foundation I would struggle to see their why they're together she attracted to her at one point yes yes and what did she change she got a different one was she the one did they carry the baby or they use the surrogate I don't they didn't they haven't gotten to that I really think and she even said I think I'm just uh what do you call it when you uh she's like I think I'm self-sabotaging us that's what the the girl said and I think the only reason why she hasn't walked away is because she also knows a part of this is stupid like this woman has done nothing wrong to you you're gonna have to be stupid yeah you don't have to be I'm gonna have to be the one that got away because no but this is the thing I was telling me because no you're not negative all right that little girl you ain't going nowhere you're gonna let him talk crazy all right I ain't attract to you Melissa listen to me listen I will sit here and I will go home and I will kill you why are you alive I like to get like the point that they had is like I don't understand how as a therapist you see something like this is like let's try to fix this no well because that it seems to me that the woman is giving the other woman because I don't know which one is which yet but it seems like sin is giving Yaya every reason to break up yeah like I'm actually trying to get you yeah I don't want to leave you I need you yeah I need you so I don't feel good yes I don't want to look I don't want to be the bad person even though I am the bad person but I don't want to like actually be the one to be like we need to no I want you to get so sick of me yeah that you be like I gotta go and not be like well she broke up with me yeah that way I feel okay about it she said everything else is fine I just don't want to you know have sex with her in there well girl get a roommate right at this point and a babysitter and I think that's I think it's the kids the kids part because they have kids and because she really can't point to anything else that doesn't have sin just pulling the trigger and being like I as much as this is going to hurt me and hurt you and the kids I'm going to be selfish in this moment and leave girl bye and also y'all buy uh yeah we have to go um okay yeah I did used to watch snapped a lot because that's how you know what to do your wife watch a snap like all the marathons okay nothing nothing don't do me okay don't she said the oculum yeah she said no I won't leave them no uh don't give up the ghost he was an ancestor now yes um okay so we are done this is I you should watch your channel go on get your little uh Showtime okay it all the episodes are already out okay let me tell you what you gonna do get your little free subscription with us we needed y'all to pay at least the five I love this show did the five and while the church it was great we didn't charge I'm gone what we got next so we're gonna do episodes 13 14. okay just do the watch all six episodes starting at episode 10 okay same season just keep watching yeah all right that's why it was confusing okay um start there and y'all can join the conversation really great show and I'm telling you you might end up binging it because like I said I ended up binging all of it in a short episode yeah they're like half an hour really really short yeah they're really short and this is really funny and I know I said we got to go and we do yeah they'll have the worst argument on planet Earth and say the most vile thing and then they'll cut to New York being beautiful yes I hate your dad at some point like don't dip these beautiful cutscenes in here it don't go with what we've been doing what she said yes I do I'll be fast forward I watched it getting today because I was like I need to remember what happened in the first three episodes I was like I'm go fast forward I don't need to know this um okay bye bye blacks and whites and Puerto Ricans black people

Channel: MrsKevOnStage

Views: 30,315

Keywords: mrskevonstage, love, hour, kevonstage, wife, the love hour, the love hour podcast, marriage champion, relationships, marriage, black love, kevin and melissa, husband, relationship goals, couple goals, couple challenges

Id: qMNzaOQMsx8

Length: 68min 13sec (4093 seconds)

Published: Thu May 04 2023