The Art of Letting Go - Mingyur Rinpoche

thank you thank you very much for all of your special for the organizer to make this event possible so first we will do a refuge and bodhichitta together [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] me [Music] [Music] [Music] so any practice in buddhism we begin by refuge and buddhist so the refuge is the we have to know the our direction the sense of direction whatever we do in our life if you don't have direction sense of direction if you don't have that kind of life vision then we will loss so here the refuge is the our um sense of direction our goal our um the meaning sense of meaning so what is refuge the first is refuge in the buddha dharma sangha so buddha as teacher dharma is the path sangha is a community as friend so these two what we call external source of refuge and internal source refuge is our true nature so what we call everybody we all have this wonderful nature the buddha nature so buddha nature is nature of all of us so nature of me nature of you nature of all the buddhas and nature of all the beings is same there's no difference and this nature is pure this nature is free and this nature is beyond concept and it has the all the enlightened qualities awareness love and compassion and wisdom so there's the our ultimate true nature so that one is the ultimate source of refuge and this our true nature will helps you to be free from all the sufferings fears the cycle of samsara and to help us really achieve the freedom enlightenment so once we know about this relative and absolute absolute refuge and then we know that our direction then to get to the our direction sometimes there's a obstacles like detour or wrong path so to prevent that the tool the loving kindness compassion and buddhichita so second is the buddhist refuge so buddhist means from now on whatever i practice the meditation sadhana generosity discipline patience samadhi effort wisdom whatever i do offering is to benefit for all beings help all beings to fully recognize their true nature and i don't have this capacity now i cannot help all beings now forget about whole beings all beings i cannot help myself now right so therefore if i don't have that capacity now therefore i'm going to practice and then in the future eventually i can able to help all beings to fully recognize their true nature whatever your practice is for that purpose the ultimate the real the for lasting purpose is to help all beings fully recognize their true nature so that's called buddhism so once you have these two we have the direction we have the protection of detour or wrong path so then whatever practice what we do is become meaningful virtue um say so this is really important so we did refuge in buddhista and after that we did the for immeasurable is a kind of a part of the bodhichitta also and then the traditional in buddhism like when buddha achieved enlightenment then what would the thought first what buddha thought is this profound dharma is so profound beyond concept be one word peaceful um non-conceptual so profound if i teach to other people no one will understand so buddha keeps silent for a few weeks then there's a burma indra and they came and asked buddha to teach dharma and buddha accepted so as first they offered mandala to buddha then they asked buddha to teach so offering mandala and the teaching request to teach dharma so that's the tradition that comes from there okay so now i will start the today's main teaching so i see there are many dharma centers here uh balbon ireland wells balboa have nice background so all the balboa italy also translator europe europe so so many different dharma centers all the album different part of the um centers are here um so today title is the art of letting go and how to have healthy relationship so the first table i think now now we have the pandemic in a way that um difficult to physically connect with all of you but i heard of that you all receive online teachings from guru baja dara daisu so there's a more often connection though normally roomba chief doesn't travel much and he most of the time he do in retreat but now rampage is more available with them teaching so all of you are really uh fortunate so although pandemic one way is a lot of suffering around the world many people having a lot of problem but in a way another way there's a lot of opportunities to receive these teachings and the buddhist teaching are really precious and it is a hearing liberation the real lineage of the mahamudra muhammad lineage holder kind of like when we call unbroken modeling it's not the lineage of words not the lineage of just intellectual or lineage of some kind of like just uh roles and titles but what do you call the lineage of the realizations unbroken lineage of realization of mahamudra so come to rupachi so i think this is really important to receive these wonderful teachings the teachings are the hearing liberation and then put it into the practice hearing liberation meaning just you hear already start to have the connection of the liberation so today my talk title is about the art of letting go so letting go is i think really important this teaching this is very important in practice for the dharma and the very important practice for the everyday life and very important practice for of course for the relationship healthy relationship and although also your everyday life job business so whatever we do in our life if we can find the if you know the secret of letting go i think it's really beneficial and very beneficial for our life beneficial for people around us so this is really important so what is the meaning of letting go the meaning of letting go is accepting the way things are so you you are accepting you are allowing you are not ignoring the way things are you are not controlling particular way things are you are not suppressing the way things are but you observe you to be aware of that and at the same time continued forward so normally what we call letting go is not the giving up so this is really um similar isn't it normally normally people here let go meaning like give up but in buddhism letting go is not giving up you don't need to give up so actually what makes you give up is if you're not let go if you don't know how to let go then two choice give up or tight we are really tight and when you're too tight what happened then we make a mountain out of mole here so mole heal is the like um small i think animal right go under the earth and then would become like a little bit like mushroom small mushroom like this mole is some kind of animal some people say ant and then when you look at look like mountain but actually very small so too tight so our mind become very sensitive and special with the relationship doesn't matter relationship between your family members your neighbors your colleagues at your workplace or friends relationship between you and your friends relationship between you and your teacher or you and your student so all these become not so healthy too tight like in the within the family members then if your if your mind too tight easy to broke the one that you don't want actually you are forcing to make that happen if the relation is too tight if your mind is too tight so normally you know some family members they come to me and they're saying that they want to find a perfect partner uh mr perfect and mrs perfect and then they have a lot of kind of requirements a lot of lists he or she understand me have to be there for me and the support for me and then you know something spiritually many many people they ask me oh please bless me to help same lineage so many lists you know same you know want to practice and then many many many many so on so on so in real life it's impossible there's no normally what i say there's no such as mr perfect and the mrs is perfect maybe we we can have mr okay and mrs okay so if you accept mr okay and mrs okay then maybe it will become mr perfect and mrs perfect but if you look for mr perfect and mrs perfect even the mr okay and misses okay in the end it will make you make yourself not okay so therefore this is uh you know some some people um they they asked me to bless to pray i said yes i will pray but i told them you know you will not find mr prophet and mr perfect they say well i'm waiting for that i have some sense i know this is the entire my life mission and meaning of my life and sometimes they come back and they say oh now i found it i said oh in my mind you know if someone says i found the mr perfect and mrs perfect you know big o although i said oh yeah yeah it's wonderful but you know don't be too tight and accept letting go learn how to let go they say oh wait we are fine we are fine but then after two years later they come back and with a cry you know one of them they said i thought is mr perfect and mr perfect i mean the mr birthday mrs barbie i just added you know sometimes they said you know perfect panera or soulmate or whatever and they cry and they say it turned out to be jerk you know so there's um big disappointment so maybe i will um i will give this um example in the in the past sometimes i give this example many times so let's say if you know if somebody loves a car maybe you really want to have very nice car so what car is better nowadays environmental friendly car tesla tesla is popular or no yeah i can somebody can raise hand here you know how many of you like tesla raise your hand or someone knows how to raise him it's on the 37 40 45 48 51. good okay about 61. so many people like uh tesla okay so i will use example with the tesla so you know sometimes these examples if we make it for the different people sometimes sensitive so car is okay so if you like tesla you know you are thinking you know saving money and working work working very hard and save money and to kind of like the dream your dream is to get tesla but then sometimes tesla is quite expensive and then maybe especially nowadays we are having pandemic so not so easy and you decided or maybe i will buy second hand tesla you are just thinking about that you know the the you know the brand new tesla is not so um affordable for me and while you're thinking like that and you go in town you know in the town so now many times now cars are allowed to move right we're just taking some exercise and whenever you see tesla you cannot help look at that test like and you're just walking on the street and suddenly you see tesla oh i just like oh you know so then one day you're walking on the street and there's one tesla came and you're looking at tesla wow while you're looking at that tesla there's a truck kim in the crash the tesla was crushed broke lucky nobody heard but the car was smashed and you might think oh sorry you know but then you are sometimes you might you know kind of like enjoy to see oh tesla take photo and then put it on the facebook or the what called instagram whatever you know today i have witnessed this tesla bro like that so then after a few weeks later you are thinking oh i really want to get the second hand tesla so then what happened is that tesla was crushed with a truck you know so they bring into the car repair center and got insurance and totally repaired and then owner thought okay i will sell this car so then that car is in the second hand shop so then you go into the second second here second-hand car shop and you saw that same tesla but you don't know that was same tesla you know three weeks before that tesla have had accident with a truck but you didn't know they're the same tesla so then you decided accidentally you decide to buy that tesla so around maybe let's say 3 p.m you sign pay whatever money and now tesla is belong to you so now you you and tester tesla become one the tesla become part of you my tesla it's almost become one part of your body and then a lot of expectations about the tesla you have a lot of lists about the tesla and and then if your mind too tight on the tesla you know no matter what i call permanent singularity independent way of thinking about the tesla what happened then your mind became very sensitive something slightly happened to tesla you will feel like a knife cutting through your heart and so then you you got the tesla and you're driving tesla at the beginning look like so happy my dream car finally i can drive and then the road was not so nice maybe you are living a little bit in the countryside and you are driving through the bumby road so then each time when you're passing through the bumpy road um each bump your heart is bumping together and goosebumps you know all the hairs go up and you become you know and then you can drive and maybe there's rubbles you know small stones and you drive and bumpy road and suddenly you stop and the wheel you know spirit of wheel uh push one small stone into the space and fall down hit to the your windshield like that you know the stone hit your windshield in that moment what happened you will feel like very sharp night cutting through your heart you will feel like end of the world so actually you saw that car having accident three weeks before with the truck and that time you will not have that feeling forget about knife cutting through your heart of course you feel sorry about the symptoms accident good thing nobody heard but and you take photos put the instagram and facebook it's okay but then today around 3 p.m car is my car the grasping the craving attachment become very strong with the car then slightly whatever happened with the car you are suffered a lot very painful sensitive suffering after suffering so then if you continued with that car if your mind is too tight after a few weeks later you might think actually this car is not the same as what i expected you know the features in this car not as perfect as what i expected the color is not so good and now shape is not so good or this function is not so good so you will see a lot of problem because your mind is too tight you have a lot of less too much expectation so now you will not see the positive size of the car what you will see that is not good that is now good here is not it's not as what i expected a lot of complaints now completely begin so then maybe you will sell this car or you will try to get really brand new tesla or maybe you are thinking some other kites better and then you will really like become suffering to work very very hard and then to earn money save money to have more and more more and more and more are endless and that is it doesn't work if you get the whatever and you will not will be peace not satisfied there's no feeling of complete there's a you will not get feeling of satisfying always feeling of always feeling of dissatisfaction filling up oh this is not what i expected something more something missing something incorrect something has to be perfect something has to be right away this is not the way this is not not the what i expected so then entire life become problem so that's too tight so same with the relationship same with the teacher so many lists of teachers and then when we have teacher that relations too tight may not be benefit same with the student some with friends he or she my best friend and too tight then there's no room for forgiveness because a lot of lists a lot of expectation is impossible to match or feel full all these lists so then what are you experiencing is disappointment always to disappoint and something feeling of that not satisfying and job work also you're too tight like some people you know oh this work is not good but i'm not this is not i expected this company is not really good i will look for a new job so once you find new job at the beginning you might think this is very good the boss is good colleagues are nice what are my jobs good ah i came to my dream job but then after few weeks few months later the samsara will follow you if you don't know how to let go and you will think this boss is not good you know i have problem with my boss this colleague is not good you know he or she always i just look at that person you know i feel something you know i hate him or her and then you make same circle you you will build the same samsara in that new company and then you might thought oh this company is not good i have to leave this company so maybe you will look for another company maybe do a lot of research and then very difficult to get new job finally you found you thought oh finally i found this new company that my dream company again the beginnings will look like nice but then in the end same problem the samsara come there in that new company and then you thought huh why this bad company follow me everywhere so wherever i go i have bad luck always met met these bad companies so maybe i have to go into monastery in the in the dharma center or in the yoga or in the high in the mountain so where there's no this uh samsaric problem maybe you go into the monastery or nunnery or in the mountain or in the uh meditation center at the beginning you feel really nice this is completely different and you look around and everybody look like smile you know so ah this is i think they all are enlightened but then after three weeks later or three weeks later samsara will follow there also and we will make same thing after certain level oh that teaches no good their colleagues know about that same problem now yes in these companies they have problem of course these bad companies why these spiritual spiritual spiritual groups have this problem sometimes you might think the spiritual group even worse because we have the big expectation for the spiritual group you know maybe more expectation than company so you feel like oh big problem here it's a fake fake smile not good you know not authentic already know so many things there so the traditional in them uh what we call the way of buddhist war so the way of buddhism says if you want to solve the problem out there if you want to change out there if you want to free all the enemies out there become endless you will have more problems you will have more enemies you will have more obstacles but if you try to walk within yourself transform try to transform yourself then the outside obstacles become opportunity problem becomes solution mistake become opportunity to grow and learn so in the end there's no such thing as ultimate obstacle actually everything can be friend everything becomes opportunity everything becomes support to the path so the really important is our mind so don't give up of course we want to learn how to let go letting go is really important i will tell you more about how to let go so otherwise the the example in the buddhist world is the ancient example so the ancient example like in the like four thousand five five thousand years before people live very simple light so that's the there's one example that normally they walk with the bare feet into the mountain but then there's a lot of stones thorn you know thorn and the piece of woods is not good for the feet so and they don't know how to make shoes because the concept of shoes hasn't developed yet and this example it in the in the ancient time so then some people they thought oh they will uh cover the path with the leather and they try to cover a part with the leather you know make it nice part and they can walk on the uh leather so it's good for the feet smooth but then let the run out within a few meters 100 or some meters normal leather but then you have to walk even further you know sometimes few kilometers you have to look after animals some people they go into nature some people they hunt and they are farmers so still there's people's phones piece of wood everywhere and then that person was very tired the person thought what should i do maybe i will ask this question to participants in the in the chat box so what is the best solution for that person you know the leather is run out you cannot uh repair i mean you cannot make all the parts in the mountain so what is the best solution so you can type your answer here in the chat box in the chat isn't it wedding shoes no shoes concealer shoes hasn't developed yet cover your feet cover your feet by what chinese put the ah cover feed with the leather yeah that's all that is the right answer cover your feet by leather you have leather right and if you cover your both feet by leather then wherever feet goes leather goes so the pebbles cannot come to your feet directly because the leather will protect your feet so it's almost like you're covering the entire path with the leather same benefit just covering your both feet if you want to cover entire path by leather impossible even you did that may not be nice you know but if you cover just your feet nice and easy so if we transform inside if we you know really work with ourselves then outside problem it doesn't matter much in the end everything become as i mentioned before path of freedom friend problem become solution obstacle become opportunity so therefore letting go but don't give up yeah this is really important so now how to let go this is important important question isn't it so up to now what i tell you is letting go is very important but how do i let go so i i told you before the meaning of letting go right so maybe you can write down here how many of you remember the meaning of letting go so if you remember you can write down here accept things as they are accept accepting discover don't attachment decrease decrease pain not bad too tight not grasping yeah so accept the things except the way things are so that's the meaning of letting go so what is the the way things are so way things are meaning the nature of reality the truth so way things are has two levels one is the relative level one is the absolute level so the relative level is what we call multiplicity meaning many different pieces and then interdependent meaning all these p's connect each other and then impermanent meaning time it's changing changing growing changing changing so that's the the true relative level there's a fake relative what we call permanent single independent so normally what we seeing is permanent single independent so that's the tight too tight grasping not letting go so you you are you you don't see impermanent what you see is permanent holding if you hold the permanent the reality is changing changing changing impermanent right so then what happened soon will expire soon we'll i mean soon we'll die actually die meaning for example and this is with the relationship also if you're too tight about the what the relationship is what that should be there's a lot of shoot there's a lot of this the way this is the odd to do this is the the right you know a lot of right a lot of this is the way i mean this is the away this stuff should so so many of this like pre-concept and you hold on there tight what happened the relationship become unhealthy relationship become not last long relation will die soon but if you accept it's impermanent right life is like what we call wave of the ocean up and down up and down everything's up and down person also of people is up and down relationship is up and down the your meditation experiences have been down at the beginning stock market is up and down so live is like stock market the world is up and down so now is the down moment of the world and it will not be like this forever it will rise again maybe the world will become very nice after some time but then it will not stay like that for for forever it will become down so in our lifetimes entire world sometimes big global financial crisis we experience many many times but then few years later it go over back to normal sometimes there's a lot of new things good things hap happening so everything's changed so this is really important to see that and the learn so normally what we do is we predict we predict each other then we control and that may not be the right one and what we have to do is we have to accept we have to see things are we need to sense we need to learn and then we have to react we have to respond as things as the things is changing we have the response accordingly we have to work with accordingly so in the companies you know if company doesn't do innovation then company will die soon so the company and they know how to do innovation smartly and company live longer actually isn't it we can see in the past those companies they think they know everything and they think there is the way and this is the shoot they collapse so and that is not only with the company in the family inside the family in between friends so learn and also learn each other and and accept the changes up and down so sometimes you have to let go sometime maybe you might need to help not always may i help you what can i help you can i help you it doesn't work i will not help ignore also not help have to be balanced and of course relations need to start and also let go so all the meditation relationship between you and your practice also right i think many of you practice meditation so what is meditation up and down so when your meditation explains up what you will feel oh peace calm joy clarity non-conceptual haha you know i think i achieved direct realization today from now on i will have no problem with this monkey mind this today i achieved something wonderful realization something so from today on i'm kind of like free from maybe not fully but some you know part of free from samsara and like this will be forever so then what happened after a few hours later sometime few minutes sometime few way few few days later boom now you have down experience disappointment anger pain lot of blah blah blah a lot of thought doubt and then no flavor also that's what we call agitation and then you might think what happened yesterday i achieved high level of realization but today something happened i fell down i fell back maybe did i do something wrong proxima or it's something wrong maybe or not in a bodhichitta not in a refuge in guru yoga or maybe some some uh you know function meaning kind of like the end that the landscape energy especially in chinese tradition i believe so maybe the phone say or maybe the some energy is not right but actually not because of you did something wrong of course there's some bad karma or whatever there but it's not let's say you did something wrong or breximaya or not like you come down or say or if something wrong it's the natural rhythm up and down up and down up and down and what we call up meditation experience up is good why up experience help us to inspire the app experience helped us kind of like give us hope feeling happy but the one who really helped us for our part is the down experience when our meditation experience down the dullness agitation that really helped us to grow to learn to go out of our comfort zone go out of cocoon in a cocoon convert soon so actually the one really helped us is the down sometimes what we call the one who really helped us is is if you let go meaning you accept the up and down and don't give up the obstacle become opportunity obstacles become the problem becomes solution right so sometimes um like my father you know he taught me that if you're going somewhere and you you reach that end there's a huge wall in front of you you cannot go the road is finished end then what do you have to do the first you take out your backpack and throw your backpack the other side of wall so once your backpack is other side wall now what do you have to do you have to cross so then you cannot cross that way that's the dead end but that is not the only way there is a witch and ways you can cross the wall there's many possibilities so impermanent if we accept impermanent we see different possibilities we can see different doors but if you don't accept impermanent then our mind become black and black and white just single singularity permanent that's the only possibility and you fix with that we don't see other opportunity we don't see other new doors we don't see other different possibilities so therefore actually we all have great capacity we all have skills we all have wisdom we all have a lot of great qualities within us awareness love and compassion so we have this wonderful nature within all of us remember before i told you that the ultimate source of refuge the ultimate source of refuge is our true nature and our true nature is totally perfect it has all the enlightened qualities although right now we are not recognized not recognize our true nature is ignorant and from that based on ignorance we have a lot of illusion delusion illusion delusion perception of the samsara so we have a lot of sufferings we all have baggage everybody has some kind of problem isn't it so how many of your problems raise your hand okay so if you have problem raise your hand 59 69 people have problems 70 people have problems everybody has a problem okay problems are international problem is universal but whether the problem become problem or whether problem becomes solution is up to you so if we take it problem as learning process to grow so let it go but don't give up then the problem becomes solution obstacles become opportunity so in the meditation path what we call self antidote self liberation meaning transforming problem suffering as part transforming suffering emotion as intense your awareness love and compassion and wisdom so in the end what we call poison transform into wisdom sorry poison transform into medicine clashes transform into wisdom so that is what we call self antidote so the problem becomes solution we don't need to bring some other some other antidote some other solution for that so self antidote is the best antidote okay so now um let go the main topic is let go and letting go meaning accept the way things are but don't give up so how to let go so i'm telling about how to let go with the true relative level so fake relative level we are holding on the permanent singularity independent right so that is the to tight so we have to when we accept the life is like wave of the ocean up and down up and down up is good of course but the down is even better so then you are accepting life is up and down that mean that meaning you you are learning how to let go what you are letting go is the permanent one automatically we let go but if you are thinking i need to let go tomorrow i will from now and i will let go every everything from tomorrow i will start new life it doesn't work let go let go let go may become the grasping so what is the real meaning of let it go knowing things knowing the way things are accepting the way things are then it works so nowadays many people think about don't attach you know detachment or don't attach then what people think i cannot have attachments not judgements no attachment please so when we say no attachment no attachment sometimes it doesn't work very well and no attachment the real meaning of not attachment also not understand the real meaning of not attachment almost like you have to destroy that one you know like a cup so if if you say don't attach to the cup should we that means we have to break the cup so don't attach to the cup doesn't mean you have to break the cup bring the hammer smash the cup even you do that you might have still attachment about the cup right so the really meaning of node attachment is accepting cup is impermanent comes okay goes okay both is okay and then in the ultimate level cup is emptiness right then automatically you will free from attachment through the wisdom and that is same with your meditation so sometimes when the people hear about the meditation they they don't they don't want to accept the meditation experience is up and down what people want is peaceful forever calm forever blissful joyful [Music] forever and that doesn't happen so some people think of meditation as think of nothing some people they think meditation is think of nothing empty mind empty brain and some people think meditation meaning concentration watch bread oh there's a noise down there my neighbors are making noise please don't make noise i'm meditating again that's a bird you know singing outside breath the bird is getting louder and louder today what happened then you get itchy you know a bird become quiet the ichi will come back what happened a lot of issue today breathing something wrong with my cushion you know i prepared the best question before what happened today and then falsely so too tight right so normally what i said a lot of people in in the asia when we meditate too tight and a lot of people meditate in the west peace [Music] you know so we try to relax then what happened tight and the ear come up and then all the muscles become more and more tight or some people they say openness and some people think clarity you know so these are uh too tight so not accepting the way things are so what is the way things are change meditation experience will change to go up and down and the traditional example in the tibet what we call if you know the eastern tibet called come if someone want to go from come eastern tibet to the center tibet kholasa then there's a lot of up and down because tibet is the the land of the mountains there's a lot of mountains so some people within within one day two days you have to go up down up again another mountain go down so going up is getting close to lassa and down also getting close to lhasa it's the journey journey to the enlightenment the meditation experience i've been down bold is good as i mentioned before up is very good you can you can from the up you will feel the um inspire feel happy feel kind of like hope and the down experience you will really learn how to let go you will really learn how to free up grasping attachment and also the one of the most important is self antidote self liberation meaning the down experience can become support for your meditation can become support for awareness can become support for love and compassion can become support for them wisdom can become support for refuge can become support for guru yoga can become support for emptiness meditation so all this can become support for your path the problem becomes solution obstacle becomes opportunity so what we call normally the essence of meditation the essence of meditation is the awareness so what is awareness the knowing the awareness mindfulness same meaning and that awareness being with whatever the reality that awareness being with whatever things comes in life so the accepting the way things are not try to get rid of anything not try to create anything but being with that just be is the awareness just being is the mindfulness so that is the essence of meditation so awareness meaning knowing knows what you are thinking knows what you are doing and you re recognize that awareness then awareness become meditation although we all have knowing of course but if you are not recognize our awareness then it's not become the meditation when we recognize our own awareness when we recognize the quality of our mind and then that knowing be with whatever comes in our mind the breath the body the form the sound the smell chest emotion the up the down whatever can be with that but that is the meditation so being verse doing we don't need to do particular anything which is being the way things are so that is the real meaning of or the real practice of learning or learning how to accept learning how to accept the way things are so maybe we will do one simple meditation practice here together and actually the one of the main purpose of the meditation is how to accept the way things are so normally what we call view meditation and application there are three things the view meaning at the beginning like intellectual understanding at the beginning then go beyond intellectual so right now i taught you more than one hour about what is the meaning of letting go isn't it and so i think all of you understand that that's a few intellectual understanding so it might help you to change your perspective about the relationship right it might helps you the perspective about how to see your life this view life is up and down life is like wave of the ocean up is good down is also good if we not give up continue to grow continue learn but accept what's up and down sometimes you cannot do anything sometimes you cannot cross that way it's impossible huge wall there but there's another way also different different different ways there so to accept that live is like wave of the oceans it helps us to see life is colorful so then in the end there's no such thing as the real obstacle so self-antidote self-transformation yeah so that's the view i think you all understood that but now how to bring that view into practice this is really important because you can say a lot about the um letting go the art of letting go it helps you change little view but then when you really strong thing comes in your life you know you may still look for mr prophet and mrs perfect and then may still have a lot of lists for your meditation practice although you know the meditation experience is up and down right yes yes yes meditation experience up and down and then one day you might have wonderful meditation experience you might think oh this is this is different than yesterday i think i never had that before i think this will be forever so you you grasp again the the impermanent uh cannot accept impermanent and then grasping or permanent come back or your meditation is not good you have the dull agitation experience you might think how i can get rid of this this is not good i cannot meditate you know so therefore how to bring this into the experience so how to bring this into experience the first important is the the essence of meditation is what we call awareness and the awareness meaning knowing right i mentioned you before and normally what we call awareness is like sky then up and down experience the thought emotion memory perception whatever all these are like cloud in the sky they'll go up and down up and down up and down but awareness not become up and down awareness with us all the time although awareness is not the permanent but it's not impermanent so we will discuss this in the future and if you learn especially in the mahamudra you will know so this is normally we don't teach about this in the publicly but right now important is we know awareness is essence of meditation and what is awareness knowing so then within the awareness thought emotion comes and these are like clouds so when there's a cloud there is sky when the cloud dissolves there's also sky when the storm comes still the sky the storm cannot change sky storm cannot block the sky within the storm the sky above this storm the sky ins above within outside up down everywhere is storm is in the sky so although we have up and down thought emotion a lot of all this it's just cloud but at the beginning it is very difficult to accept that so we need to bring this into experience so how to bring this into experience we have to accept the way things are so right now what we want to do is we want to do sound meditation so i know some of you have sound and some of you don't hear anything some of you sound comes and goes and doesn't matter so what ever there the sound available there listen and they will change and some of them have pleasant sound be with that some sound is unpleasant sound be with that and there's a gap you cannot find sound b with no sound sometimes what we call sound of silence in between the sound so that means you're accepting the way things are and that being that awareness is the meditation so when we do that slowly slowly we are accepting the way things are and then in between you might have a lot of thought comes to do list maybe pizza will appear organic vegetable salad will appear them come as long as if you not forget the sound as long as if you still remember the sound one vegetable salad two vegetable salad three vegetables allah comes let them come so again you are accepting again are letting go but don't give up try to stay with the sound try to stay with sound of course you cannot stay with sound too long few seconds forget it's okay what do you call repeat again repeat again short time at the beginning is short time but many times many times then the duration become longer longer longer okay so we will try this together now please everybody keep your spine loosely straight uh spine loosely straight and then you can cross your leg or you can use chair if you are using chair both feet touch to the ground and you can put your hand on your knees cover your knees or both hands together join put on your lap okay and keep your spine loosely straight and first please close your eyes and now feel your body and relax muscles in your body relax muscles in your head face neck again if you cannot relax okay allowed allow that you cannot relax when you're allowed that is the letting go and that is the awareness so that is meditation also relax muscles around your shoulders back upper back to lower back relax meaning everything's okay tight okay not try this okay relax chest stomach arms and legs now you don't need to do anything just be whatever they're in your body you don't need to control anything you don't need to imitate anybody be yourself and be free you are free so be free now please listen to sound whatever sound available there you can listen and the sound is changing from one sound to the another song even one sound that sound has beginning and the end and from beginning to end always changing never stays one place just changing to the end any sound is okay sound of fan air condition coughing sound from the neighbors birds outside animals or maybe there's no sound sound of silence or you might have inner sound in your ear some some people have might have that's also okay so you don't need to do you just let happen that sound come that sound go and when you try to listen to the sound they might have a lot of thoughts emotions may come let them come vegetable salad comes let vegetable salad come you don't have to block true vegetable salad comes three vegetable salad it's okay as long as if you still remember the sound as long as still as long as you still hear the sound you're okay you're still in the meditation now please open your eyes and continue listen to sound and maybe you might see something it's okay as long as if you still hear the sound whatever image comes no problem or when you hear the sound you cannot have another thoughted emotion also okay for many people cannot have two at the same time that's great okay how was it so that is the not only with the sound meditation or the meditation practice so we are not trying to block taught an emotion no need to make any particular state of mind just be with the what things are except the way it is so that is the learning how to let go from the experience so if you try to control too much try to aversion or craving then the relationship between you and your meditation may not become nice so then in the end you cannot continue to meditate so maybe we will do one simple uh exercise so normally i love to do this exercise you know so today this one better how many of you maybe not everybody see tesla right okay back to normal one so pizza so everybody knows pizza so i will teach the pizza meditation today so the piece of meditation has one rule so we will do one minute of meditation for one minute we are not allowed to think of pizza okay so um you can think of anything else organic vegetable or very good if you can think organic vegetables or to do this you can think about your past history future plan or blah blah blah blah blah blah the monkey monk but no pizza so except pizza you can think of anything else so we will do this exercise together please keep your spine loosely straight and now please close your eyes and feel your body and relax muscles in your body relax meaning be as it is now i will say one two three when you hear three no pizza okay you cannot think of pizza prepare one two three no pizza no pizza okay how was it so meditation when wealth is a meditation or not so well i think many of you think pizza right when you said drunken or pizza then what we what will happen we will think of it and we think of pisa more and more so that's the what we do normally we sometimes grasping sometimes aversion so too tight comes between aversion and craving or grasping then become mine too tight and the craving meaning for example if you go to exam you know and you prepare everything study a lot and all the questions then as soon as if you enter the exam hall half of your mind become empty so then you saw the questions oh yeah i just remembered this answer before i come here what was the answer mine became empty and then you are thinking oh wait a minute wait a minute and then time's up then you come out of exam hall the the moment you come out of exam hall oh i remember but too late so what we call normally our mind does the opposite when we say yes mind said no when we say no mind say yes so for the meditation we don't really need to say yes we don't need to really say no no it's okay yes it's okay but it's okay sound is okay no sound is okay sound comes okay sound go okay you just pivoted so being is the awareness so then what happens slowly slowly we will learn how to be how to accept the way things are you don't need to ignore the reality you don't need to control the reality you don't need to suppress the reality you just follow the flow of reality so and that is not with only with the meditation so lawless you can do that with the the human relationship you can do with that your work and you can do that with your tesla so there will be no perfect tesla of course right lot of good things there in the tesla but a lot of something might not be as you expected but that's okay but then need to see what is the important the purpose what is the direction that you want to go so you have to have the direction like refuge sense of the goal and you need to have the purpose love and compassion and buddhist sense of meaning try to find so then i say then accept the way things are but don't give up what when i said don't give up that means like if you meet the wall in front of you i'm not saying you have to go through that way don't give up i have to go through this wall and heat to the wall what happened you cannot break the wall you will have problem here so sometime in our life of course relationship not always works whatever job ops of course whatever the way of the relationship with the friends family of course you need to try your best to accept the impermanent but sometimes doesn't work then also need to say need to learn how to let go meaning change look at another door move on you have to learn how to say no so this is really important to find the balance to find the um the balance between too tight and too loose so when here in the meditation we are come back to the awareness so you are not too loose listen to sound listen to sound listen to sound not too loose be with awareness but at the same time you are not worried about the good sound that sounds you are not controlling the sound let sound come let sound go sound is changing let it be with changing so that way you're accepting you're accepting the way things are so same thing with them real life your job so i hope from this talk will bring you some new perspective of your life and relationship with your friends family and your most important is your meditation practice relationship between you and your meditation practice and apply this in everyday life okay you can apply this with your practice your meditation you can practice this in everyday life so thank you very much for all of you and i will stop for my teaching now and there's some questions right i think so maybe we will open for q a for a while okay can you hear me yes i can hear you yes and the first one is dear rinpoche could you please give us some advice of what we can do if we have difficulties recognizing our nature so first important is the view the view begin by intellectual understanding of the nature of mind meaning what is natural mind how to practice so that is important then after that just be as long as if you are not lost you're okay so as your mind is okay not natural mind is okay thought is okay no thought is okay so in the mahamudra everything can be support for meditation of course at the beginning we learn meditation with the breath of visual object slowly slowly sound similar test sensation in the end thought and emotion so the key point is awareness as long as if you're not lost so then the knowing the what the natural mind is and for the meditation it will just be eventually you will recognize natural mind and even though right now you don't feel like that is natural mind practice but there is some percentage of the recognition of nature mind there even your practice yamada okay thank you and do you remember how should one make some decisions regarding relationship what should one take into consideration yeah so relationship i think really important at the beginning there's no perfect you cannot expect the other is always perfect but of course the maybe there's a consider more positive things within you and whatever relationship between sixty or seventy percent above uh more than above fifty something you feel like good uh some see positive things that's good but it may change after that but important is relationship is up and down and accept that and the most important is learn each other and do something new explore something new if the human relationship then discovers try to discover together something new to learn something new um to do something new i think that really helps okay then the next question dear rinpoche can you give some advice on how one might accept one's own impermanence and death i contemplate this especially when i've been ill from time to time and consider this will happen to me as it has happened to a few of my loved ones and it will happen to all i've been ill and i thought i might have died but even so i can see quite clearly a part of my mind that can't really accept this and jumps into fear is there anything specifically i can do to allow my mind with this fear try to practice death and dying meditation so there's a part of teachings nowadays available and actually for for ultimately nobody will dies the our buddha nature cannot be died because it is unborn in order to die you have to being born first you have to begin if there's a horizon then there's a ceasing so our true nature never being born is unborn it's emptiness so cannot die so therefore in the bardo teachings there's a lot of practice how to connect with them our buddha nature special the end of the dissolution what we call so when we're going to die at the beginning we feel like falling melting burning disappear so all these five element dissolution in our body the energetic level energy level so then in the end become like dark low light because you can because you cannot see you cannot hear maybe your breath is also gone but then after that we will experience the great limit luminosity your mind is so peaceful there's no concept no subject and object but the totally open joy you can experience it but beyond word not front not back no up not down completely free with joy so if we know we will experience this the moment of the dying and especially if you have some meditation experience now when you are alive so you can do that so many of the tibetan masters when they die tibetan meditators when they die dying meditation you know the body remains for meditation posture some of them with the lying uh lying sleeping buddha posture for three days four days five days my father in that meditation stayed about three days my grandfather my grandfather died a few years back he was in that state for three and a half days and and the reason i mean a few years back in sherabring there's one um cook he came from tibet and he died he was in that meditation for a few days and one old doctor the tibetan doctor who died few weeks in that meditation state so so try to learn about those things okay thank you and then the next question is to deal with anxiety because of chronic illness tiredness right anxiety anxiety excuse me so if you are new to meditation first do the breathing meditation or the sound meditation or another meditation technique what we call mental recitation recite may be om manipehung or any words in your mind any phrase recite that with silently reside in your mind with silence so these three one of these three meditation firsts then when you get some experience with that then eventually you can watch the anxiety feeling and there's a lot of sensation in the body there's an image there's a voice there's a belief so anxiety first is single singularity permanent but when you look at the anxiety become pieces four pieces sensation image voice belief so anxiety becomes shaving form so when you have shaving form here looks like piece of rock inside full of bubble so then anxiety becomes support for meditation problem becomes solution but not so easy at the beginning of course so therefore sometimes what we call when you look at the anxiety feeling so overwhelmed sometimes it becomes worse then back to sound change or do the mental registration or do some physical exercise for a while physical exercise really good for good for anxiety could be jogging could be swimming any kind of physical exercise will be good okay thank you there is another question about anxiety so maybe the answer is the same how to deal with anxiety and panic because of a major financial loss yeah so um i mean the answer is same from the view level i don't give up try to still try to find solutions try to look for how to recover try to find it and there will not there will be no no kind of end of the end of the life of course you will have if you make effort there is something there will have a result but it may not have the same as what you expected it might be change might be different and then how to deal with the experience itself and the anxiety that what i mentioned before do that okay then the next question to help bring the view of the art of letting go into practice is it helpful to undertake for yourself for practice you can do this practice with the budget saturday also so you can imagine by the south above your head but not too tight don't worry about the image form color shape these are not so important the important is feel the presence of baja satou and the baja satu is everywhere what we call budget is everywhere nowhere so bad is everywhere meaning the wisdom of bajaj south is everywhere love and compassion is everywhere so it's everywhere at the moment if you feel bad is there above you it's there so but of course shave color of bodysuit sometimes will clear sometimes not clear and that baja sadhu is also like dream like reflection in the mirror when you look at yourself in the mirror beyond time beyond matter yet appear so that is what we call empty form so when you do that then there is a you can find balance okay next question is could you please give some advice on what to do if someone is practicing refuge and frustrations and they have knee or lower back pain how can they continue to do the practice i mean that normally guru baja dara daisudram museum teaches if you have physical really problem and cannot do that there's um uh but still you can pray the refuge prayer you can take refuge from the from your heart from your mind but they physically cannot do that especially you need to consult the doctor and physically cannot do that it doesn't mean you're not taking refuge still you're taking average okay the next question is is it useful to use our physical body as a support for recognizing attachment and aversions is there any meditation that can help us to do that ah you can jump three times and you will recognize the letting go i'm just kidding so physical body normally mind and body always together so body is like up mine is like water in the cap so right now when we meditate we have the meditation posture and we relax our body but not like like that kind of relax you keep your spine loosely straight the strength inside strength but at the same time relax the muscle so you will find the balance so that helps of course to find the balance also okay thank you then there is another question about if i have a problem i can accept it but i still try to find a solution isn't it is it okay not to give up on it and if there is no solution is it okay to just accept it yeah of course so what we could try our best don't give up so use your wisdom effort love and compassion skills that whatever you have try your best but what we call don't tighten your mind on the result sometimes there is a result sometimes result is not what you expected they might have another result and sometimes you cannot find results so you cannot go through the wall like that way right sometimes you have to accept it so but that's not the end of life they have another opportunity they might have some other so oh that obstacle really changed my life otherwise i cannot be here you know something like that also like when i was young i was in sherbling monastery i was in uh young 13 years old and i was in the three-year retreat and first year of my three years actually i had panic before that and that time my panic becomes stronger but then i learn meditation with my panic so panic become my friend panic become my teacher so actually today i'm here one part of that is because of my panic teach me a lot transform my life and why i'm teaching this meditation might be the one of the thing is the wisdom from the panic so now last question okay dear rinpoche is it better to have fewer relationships so life is less complicated pure relationship meaning fewer relationships i mean that there's no one answer it's up to you depend on your personality depending on your lifestyle some people they can be solid person in the mountain but still having a relationship relationship with himself herself and the community even they're not together relationship with the part relationship with the friends relationship with the relatives from far away never feel alone also possible but sometimes you are in the middle of the people middle of crowd can feel lonely also so yeah there's not really one answer thank you thank you very much for all of you and now we will do the dedication [Music] [Music] okay thank you thank you very much

Channel: Palpung Ireland Buddhist Centre

Views: 172,854

Rating: 4.9022145 out of 5

Keywords: PalpungIreland, Buddhism

Id: 2HAA8gLsY9I

Length: 119min 47sec (7187 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 24 2020

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