[TF2] Weapons That SHOULD Be Australium

NVM has been a staple of the game for over a decade at this point and let's be honest we all know why it's not the riveting or enticing gameplay it's not the cheerful and well-mannered community and it's certainly not the joy of waiting for Billy to locate his F4 key at the end of the day aren't we all golden retrievers in the event that valve comes home after six long years of being in the milk lineup I actually think man vs machine could be an Roi Juggernaut at least by any kind of direct quantifiable metrics more Aussies means more players more players means more tickets more tickets means more money simple as that but it does beg the question of what weapons should become australium in the first place some people may advocate for the biggest yellow brush imaginable painting every weapon no matter how belittled with their own Australian blurish and while I'm sympathetic to that line of thinking I actually much prefer the Rarity and limitability of this attribute it captures more of a prestigious feel it's also less work on valve's end and I'm sure that'd be great news to them airing out the criteria I'm not gonna be too stingy it's just a matter of not wanting to waste each class's golden opportunity weapons that are iconic practical in game look good when redesigned or preferably all three will be heavily favored the former two categories will be largely based around Community sentiment while the latter will be my own personal taste based on whatever concept art I could get a hold of I'll try to keep my biases out of the equation keyword try will these picks ever manifest in game probably not but we may as well have some fun in this dream world we've concocted for ourselves so join me in figuring out which weapons should get chucked in The Bargain Bin and which ones will forever bathe in the Midas light my disliked dislike this video was sponsored by dislite a turn-based mobile RPG set in a futuristic cyberpunk themed Universe full of alluring mythologies 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pretty much everyone can agree with the shotgun and the pistol I don't even think these ones need an explanation collectively they're Staples for 5 out of the nine classes in the game and look really [ __ ] clean with that Golden Glow hell these ones are so prestigious that I'm down to make the pistol twice as rare as any other Aussie and the shotgun four times as rare it'd be like a surprise within a surprise once you see that box animation go wild a bit of an amplified feeling for what happens with The Islander drops today which too have a lesser drop rate they'd be much harder to come by as a result but given their desirability I think it makes sense switching over to scout I actually think we're fine on the scatter gun front valve pretty much got both picks right on the first try in the process however the entirety of Scout's secondary and melee arsenals got the middle finger so it's time for some well-warranted retribution looking at the secondaries available Scout doesn't have a pervasive stinker gameplay wise but in relation to the criteria a couple of them fall attad short we already have an Australian pistol accounted for so the Winger and pocket pistol would feel a tad redundant and both the criticola and bonkatomic punch are small rarely active weapons that would be a bit of a waste so the choice is between the guillotine and the milk and personally I'm down for adding both the guillotine may not be as notable as it was back in its Sandman combo Glory Days but it still sees frequent use as a long-range engagement tool it doesn't hurt that the concept art is sexy as [ __ ] enough to where I'd probably never use the blood texture to prevent muddying up the feel the milk on the other hand deserves it based on its meme status alone though being one of if not the best competitive secondary doesn't lose at any points as long as they keep the same debuff animation as usual I don't see any drawbacks with the shift in coloration You could argue it's no longer milk at that point but it never was and even still of all the rocket launchers to be made a different color valve went with the black box I think we're gonna be okay for Scouts melees the selection isn't as generous the Sandman is without a doubt the most iconic and pre-jungle Inferno I would have chosen it no contest but we all know would be met with a one-way pipeline to the steam Marketplace for 12 bucks at best if the blood sagger is a disappointing drop by today's standards the Sandman would be like finding out your only kid decided to be a YouTuber we can also cross off the sun on a stick and the Fano War because barely anyone ever uses them and while the Boston Basher is pretty good it doesn't strike me as a weapon that looks suitable for a Regal overhaul it's more grungy aesthetic is kind of the appeal so now we're narrowed down to the candy cane the rap assassin the atomizer and the stock bat personally I think the choice here is obvious fish Weaponry skins and TF2 have always seemed like a strange case to me and for that reason don't expect too many more getting a mention but for the holy mackerel I think we can all agree an exception should be made you know maybe giving Soldier three Australian primaries when most classes get one or two isn't all that fair but my main my list [ __ ] you there are a lot of good candidates as pretty much every Soldier primary has its fans even the black sheep Liberty launcher is changing Shades over time but we don't really have an Australian tied to any kind of alternative play style and seeing as the rocket jumper is out of the picture in that regard I say we give this newfound Sheen to either the Beggars bazooka the airstrike or the Direct Hit I think we first have to cut the Beggars though well I love the idea of the dumpster diving weapon being candied in Gold it's just too much of an acquired taste to be regularly used for reference the Beggars is probably my personal favorite weapon in all of nbm but in casual it ranks somewhere in the bottom M5 I definitely know that I'm not alone in that opinion that's how polarizing this weapon is so now it's a battle between the air strike and the Direct Hit and in the end I think the airstrike has the tiny Edge design wise I think the airstrike looks if not cooler more unique as the Direct Hit borrows the same color scheme from the stock rocket launcher which already has a realized Aussie you could also argue that the airstrike sees more use among the entire bell curve of player skill than the Direct Hit does so overall I think it wins out in the end soldier's secondary pick is a much tougher call we already have an Australian shotgun so no need for any of the others the gunboats and base jumper are non-lethal utility weapons and as a result can't have quantifiable kill counts the man Treads can but it's the man Treads and the righteous bison would be the gold bar in a turd sandwich that would get no usage Beyond a click bait thumbnail so that leads us to the obvious choice of picking one of the three banners and I think the Conch has the overall best qualities for a revamp the concept of a seashell being plastered with gold Loosely evoking the hidden island treasure Trope is pretty cool I think but even ignoring that fact entirely it takes 20 percent less damage to charge and has less of a situational gravitas to it so on average it'll see more play in game exactly what we want out of a shiny utility and for the melee I could go down the list and evaluate them one by one but there's no need to in this case the market Gardener is the obvious answer I have no clue how this didn't make it as a gen 1 australium especially considering this was at the height of the frag era its notoriety pretty much speaks for itself it looks the best has the most offensive utility and is the centerpiece of the troller playstyle it still wouldn't get me to swap off my beloved escape plan but I know for many others it would and that's what counts here choosing a primary for pyro was pretty tough all of them have their fans and despite the differences in play style they're all pretty similar in terms of viability at least in casual this puts more of an emphasis on the appearance factor for becoming Australian and in this category the dragon's Fury looks [ __ ] awesome all the other flamethrowers kinda necessitate going a bit overboard with the metallic plating personally I'm not a fan but the proportions on the dragon's Fury are perfect for a redesign better than almost any other weapon in the game I find it'd also be really funny if this was the only way to get a strange variant after over five years of being left in the dust for the secondary the obvious choice is one of the flare guns seeing as the shotguns are a redundancy the jetpack would act as more of a glorified cosmetic and the gas passer it'd be funny so this prompts the discussion of which flare gun should it be the score shots the most powerful of the bunch The Detonator has the most utility and the man melter exists but honestly I don't think we can top the normal flare gun sure it's lost a bit of its utility ever since puff and sting got snuffed and flinged but the icon status of the flare gun can't be understated honest to God does anyone actually associate the shotgun as Pyro's actual stock secondary no it's the flare gun and let's not look past that design yeah this one's another easy shoe-in for Pyro's melees okay I got nothing the dragon's Fury and the flare gun were easy picks as they both excelled in several prominent areas relating to the criteria but for Pyro's melees it's almost painful how little Synergy there is here the power jack is probably the most popular melee choice in the current year but simply reskinning the car battery portion would look [ __ ] hideous and it seems the modding Community tends to agree with me on this one because every piece of concept art given tries to lighten up everything but an attempt I no doubt appreciate but the design doesn't lend itself well to it the next best choice would probably be the back scratcher and maybe it's the blood ladder messing with the pristine feel of it all but again I'm just not a fan what I can praise however are the neon Annihilator the stock fire ax the third degree and the volcano fragment they all look [ __ ] sick just a shame it'd be like adding a cup holder to a non-functioning parachute seriously I've never seen a better argument to buff the volcano fragment than this image right here the homewrecker and the mall are both weapons that fit the practicality and aesthetic standards but they're also synonymous with the play style that the vast majority of the player base finds boring as [ __ ] on a technical front these ones might have the edge but I just know they plummet to the lowest valued australiums within weeks of launch funnily enough there is actually one weapon that looks cool is effective in game and fun to use in casual play and that's the postal pumbler you know the reskin of the weapon that already got in Australia at this point there's no really good option to choose from so I say [ __ ] the criteria and give it to the Lolly chop at least then we have another chance to get mega Rich if there's another incident demo is the only class in the game to have been given three different australiums on launch some may feel that's unfair but it actually makes sense seeing as two of them are centered around these standard Demo Man play style while the other one is The Islander a sword relegated almost entirely to demo night because he already got special treatment the first time around we're only gonna give him two for this hypothetical update both aiming to cover the Australian voided holes within the Demo's armaments those being a melee weapon for the standard demo and a shield for the demo night for the melee selection it's simply a choice between the stock bottle the caber and technically the Pain Train but let's be honest we all know that one's not the play the caber at least looks visually appealing but its lack of viability in its current state makes this one an easy win for the bottle The Shield discussion is where things get a bit more interesting as I've seen skins for all three of them that all look pretty swag of the bunch however I think the tide Turner looks the best it has the perfect amount of subtlety as opposed to the much more glaring gold dinner plate that the splendid screen could likely come out as and yeah I know I talked about some Australians being nothing more than glorified painted cosmetics and while the Thai Turner is similar in that regard I don't really mind you ever try to make a painted full body Loadout for the Demoman or especially demo night it's [ __ ] impossible the more help demo can get on that front I'm all for it like the scatter guns I think valve got Heavies miniguns right on the first try there was some criticism at the time seeing as the Tommy slab was in much more of a neutered State and as a result was one of the more cheaper australiums but ever since gunmetal came in and buffed it into relevancy the Australian variant followed suit I remember when these things were 12 keys and now they go for about as much as stock in any case that means we're once again turning our attention to the secondaries and melees I don't really think I need to make a case for an Australian sandwich do I it got its own meet the team video and everything you could argue it's the most iconic item in the game and there'd be very few who would disagree hell this one might warrant a lower drop rate among the shotgun and Pistol because we all know would be the crown jewel of every heavy Mains collection if scrap metal or wrapping paper doesn't impair the heaviest digestive tracts I don't see raw gold doing it for him either who knows maybe he'll find himself in a Mr Beast video for his efforts but you know what else we need an Australian banana yes I am going down this road shut up the second banana might actually be more used than the sandwich at this point and I say The Lunchbox items are beloved enough to Warrant a bit more special treatment this has nothing to do with bolstering my own brand trust me the melee slot isn't so obvious as it contains some of the least useful item Selections in the game the eviction notices borderline unusable the warrior spirit is a bit too Niche the stock fists provide almost no upside over anything else and the guru while still good and I'll die on that Hill disincentivizes keeping the weapon active and if there's anything people like about australiums it's keeping them active so that leaves us with three choices the holiday punch the fists of Steel and the killer gloves of boxing personally I'd be down with any of them but as far as gameplay goes I Gotta Give It to the fists of Steel they're almost ubiquitously viewed as the strongest heavy melee from a competitive standpoint and on top of that they have the inverse issue of the groove being incentivized to take them out rather than punished for it and come on look at them for engineers primary pick there's no competition here look at how [ __ ] clean that Widowmaker is the black and gold Motif this thing has going on is phenomenal as far as australium redesigns go it doesn't get much better than this yes it's more of an offensive option in the same realm as the frontier Justice and stock shoddy both of which would have Australians in this theoretical scenario I understand from a gameplay point of view that the rescue Ranger is the obvious choice it would Grant more playstyle variations access to an australium something that I fully support but but look at it the rescue Ranger is my favorite NG weapon and I'd immediately toss that [ __ ] in the dumpster like an unwanted child if it meant that this reskin got in the game you want to teach people how to shoot this thing would put every aim tracking site out of business overnight there's no bias here I don't like using the weapon but it'd be a crime if an Australian update dropped and this one was kept benched any Australian after the Widowmaker is a tough act to follow but if we're adding another wrench it looks like battle engines are eating good the Jag in the southern hospitality are too similar to stock for it to justify taking the Australian slot and the Eureka Effect while unique also has somewhat of an acquired taste akin to the Beggars so in Australian Gunslinger is the pick and I think the vast majority of people would probably agree given how integral it is to diversify find the engineer's play style this one is a no-brainer and you know what I say we add in a strange PDA too I'm not even asking for Golden buildings though some of the concept art is really well conceptualized others not so much I mean it'd be nice to see and I wouldn't be against the idea but I'm a simple person and just a gold remodeling of the PDA is all I'd ask for would it be all that spectacular no but that hasn't stopped the regular strange PDA from going over a hundred dollars in value maybe make this one more of a rare drop too engineer already has a small cast of weapons to work with may as well make them shinier to compensate let's just hope the strange teleporter tracker kicking you out of the upgrade station is fixed before this is a possibility okay let me level with you guys why the [ __ ] did valve choose the blood sauger over the crossbow for the Medics only Australian primary maybe I'm misremembering history but even back in 2013 the crossbow was infinitely more popular I don't know maybe an intern main battle medic and blackmailed them with embarrassing photos from the Christmas party who [ __ ] knows point is an Australian crossbow is long overdue and I don't think that's a controversial statement it's the best medic primary by a mile no shot this thing would plummet to the depths of single digit key value hell like the bloodslogger valve's priorities for this one were weird I say we fixed it a decade later and [ __ ] it if we're gonna have two medic primaries it'd be weird to have their quantity outshine the mediguns you'd think that this may be a tougher Choice as all three mediguns have their fans but the Quick Fix variant looks kind of mid and all vaccinator Medics need to be tied to the train tracks for the easiest trolley problem ever so Chris Krieg it is it suits the criteria best and for the medic's melee option the Uber saw is the clear FrontRunner and I do not like that medic's biggest problem as a class is that two out of his three weapons are basically decided right from the jump at this point the rest of his weapons are nothing but aesthetic icons giving you some illusion of choice so because medic Mains don't have any option but to use this thing I have no option but to give it the Aussie on a personal level I much prefer the design of the amputator and the theming of the solemn bow but I can just imagine how bad the player outrage would be if the ubersaw got shafted in favor of another melee can't say it'd be the same the other way around sniper has a lot of cool primaries that would be well suited for that Golden Glow the upper hand looks sick as does the makana and hell even the classic looks incredibly badass at least until you try to actually use it in game but I think you know the drill the upper hand is a reskin of a weapon that already has an australium and the classic sucks doodoo donkey balls so the makana is the obvious choice well not really because I think the Huntsman deserves it more look the Machina is a dope-looking rifle but at the end of the day whether you're running it or stock you're still doing the same [ __ ] you already have enough Australian alternative that covers ninety percent of your bases the luxman Loyalists don't have that and I think it's better that they do there have been many takes on the concept and I think all of them work fine but the ubiquitous decision to keep the golden arrows is one I definitely approve of it's like if Robin Hood stockpiled the goods for himself for the secondary pick most of sniper's catalog is off the table the danger shield and cozy camper can't be strange and while that doesn't apply to the Razorback it'd probably look ugly as [ __ ] I think the modding Community agrees with me at large because I couldn't find any concept art whatsoever the carbine is true to its name looking clean as all hell but it's got a redundancy problem with the stock SMG so that kills it right out of the gate so it looks like we're given the golden Power to the golden shower why is that in the script at least it does check all the boxes of the Aesthetics icon status and in-game Effectiveness so it's not a bad call it's just a bit strange how we now have two bodily fluids being substituted for gold and for the May melee slot you may assume that I'm going with the bushwaka and no I'm not it's a good weapon for sure and in the context of sniper getting the golden girati it would work well but it only has Synergy with two arguably three weapons in the sniper's artillery the stock kukri is a much more well-rounded pick overall and for that reason I think it has the edge and that edge looks pretty damn nice for a new Australian revolver I'm a bit torn actually typically if there's only one Australian for a weapon category It's usually the stock weapon but given how popular the Ambi was at the time valve opted for that one instead a good call but definitely outdated given its current status I think it's finally time week of the stock revolver it's due is what I would say if the big kill didn't exist Weaponry skins in TF2 have always seemed like a strange case to me and the big kill it's a thing of beauty I don't even have to look at any of the other options this one is obviously the whip oh [ __ ] it's black and gold okay if it hasn't been made abundantly clear I have a type and the Diamondback it looks too good to leave on The Cutting Room floor I know pretty much everyone thinks it's overpowered a sentiment I very much agree with but maybe I wouldn't mind seeing this on the kill cam every now and again I believe this would be the first time in TF2 history where the stock weapon was ignored for the Aussie pick not once but twice and I do think that's unfortunate the stock revolver doesn't even look bad but come on how could I say no this is like every weeaboo spies wet dream and speaking of weeaboo spies wet dreams I think the obvious pick for the knife is the kunai aesthetically all the knives are pretty similar so we mostly have to lean on gameplay and icon status in both Realms the kunai is top baguette I've probably seen more professional killstreak hail Zone Kunis than any other weapon in the game so it wouldn't come as a shock to me if this one was a top Charter in terms of price and for the last class specific Gauzy I'd like to see added why not the zapper I have yet to see any concept art that doesn't work exceedingly well and if we can get away with the snack attack having the same stats no way a golden recolor would be any more disconcerting to me this is an Easy Choice much more than a third knife or revolver and while we're at it we may as well add in another exceptionally rare all-class melee as a supplement for the pan yet another process of elimination we need to indulge in first I say we cross off the Saxy because it's virtually indistinguishable from the original ditto with the freedom staff if you don't modify the branch so I Chuck this one as well the crossing guard and Memory Maker are so forgettable that there's literally no Australian concept art that exists for them which I think says a lot about the Demand Being non-existent the necro Smasher doesn't seem too bad in theory but because I haven't found any redesigns that are all that appealing it's gonna sit this one out too and finally I'm giving the conscientious objector a very big pass this is one part terrible Aesthetics and lack of concept art two parts not wanting to give the server's most enthusiastic furry a beacon it's bad enough already so that leaves us with three choices the ham shank the battle to hell and the pretty machete I'd be down for all three but I think the golden ham would be far more representative of tf2's art style and weapon theming that I don't really think it's a contest if there's gonna be any weapon in the game that deserves a multi-thousand dollar evaluation like the pan I think the golden ham is the most Well Suited Edition so there we go that's every single Australian weapon that I would like to see added into the game I want to give a huge shout out to the YouTube channel at modder who recorded the vast majority of the australium Showcase demos none of this was my doing I just ripped it off of him his channel is a fantastic repository for newly generated weapon Concepts and reskin showcases he does some pretty cool [ __ ] so I'm gonna drop a link to his channel in the description bit more of a filler video so I kind of apologize but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless if you did dropping a like sub or comment would be very much appreciated as always thank you all for watching the video Twitter and Discord are in the description and that's all I got see ya [Music]

Channel: WeezyTF2

Views: 773,359

Keywords: weezytf2, tf2, mvm, mann vs machine, team fortress 2

Id: BfJdE-5L9Mk

Length: 24min 58sec (1498 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 17 2023