[TF2] A Mann's Guide to the Beggar's Bazooka

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šŸ‘ļøŽ︎ 1 šŸ‘¤ļøŽ︎ u/AutoModerator šŸ“…ļøŽ︎ Dec 21 2019 šŸ—«︎ replies

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šŸ‘ļøŽ︎ 2 šŸ‘¤ļøŽ︎ u/[deleted] šŸ“…ļøŽ︎ Dec 21 2019 šŸ—«︎ replies
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TF2 is one of those games that relies heavily on precision. Most of the notable weapons are single-fire, and even the ones that you wouldnā€™t think require precision, like shotguns, have variants that are entirely reliant upon it. In fact, a bunch of the really good character unlocks are things that give you benefits in exchange for precision. Youā€™ve got stuff like a sniper rifle that gives you a faster charge rate for hitting headshots. A one-and-done flare gun that requires prediction and timing to deal a significant burst of long-range damage. I mean, youā€™ve even got a minigun that tightens your spread, rewarding you for good tracking at mid-range. Looking at this, itā€™s clear that TF2ā€™s design not only centers around movement, but also around being precise...what the hell is that? Spy! *deviation kill* *instant replay of deviation kill* *are you actually serious right now valve* Oh, boy. Iā€™m gonna have to talk about this, huh? Ethan: WAIT WAIT Wait Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, hang on, hang on. I really donā€™t want to do this, man. KJ: Ethan, do it Ethan: Dude, no! Alright, look - I just spent the entire intro talking about precision, and this is the exact opposite of that! I mean, look at it! Soldier pulled it out of a dumpster - Itā€™s canonically actual literal trash! KJ: Ethanā€¦ Ethan: No! Cā€™mon, man KJ: ETHAN! KJ: [sighs] Look dude, youā€™re quitting stereotypes soon, youā€™ve gotta have SOMETHING take its place, right? Ethan: I meanā€¦yeahā€¦ KJ: And you had this series get sponsored by Marketplace.tf, the useful and convenient website that allows you to buy TF2 items instantly and for cheaper than the Steam Market, right? Ethan: wait did you actually just put the sponsor plug in the intro - KJ: AND, this is one of those weapons that is just dumb most of the time. You like that kind of stuff, donā€™t you? Ethan: Yeah, yeah, alright. I...uh...yeah, I guess youā€™re right. [sigh] Okay. KJ: Hey [snap] hey! Look alive, sellout. Youā€™ve got a video to make. Ethan: Oh, you are just the worst... Alright, letā€™s do this. The Beggarā€™s Bazooka is fundamentally different from any of Soldierā€™s other unlocks. Instead of firing when the mouse1 button is pressed, you instead load a rocket upon clicking, and fire it when you release. Itā€™s roughly similar to charging up a smash attack. Or using the classic, if youā€™re into masochism. But, yeah - this thing will allow you to load up to three rockets before it overloads and swiftly turns you into a can of chunky human soup. Put simply, this thing is really weird. So, as a Beggarā€™s Bazooka Soldier, it is your job to be just as weird. Basically Iā€™m saying you should use this like a total idiot, because god knows itā€™s gonna let you get away with it. Practically everything about this weapon rewards you for playing like a moron. Okay, example: This thing can fire almost as fast as the stock launcher, but since the clip works differently than stock, you draw the rockets directly from your reserve. This means that, if you tap mouse1 a bunch of times, you essentially have an infinite clip, and donā€™t have to worry about rocket management...at all. Put into practice, this basically looks like...wellā€¦ [laughter, m1 spam] [screams and explosions in the distance] [more m1 spam] Orna: JESUS! Ethan: Guys, you donā€™t understand, this glue just smells frigginā€™ amazing! So I think thereā€™s a better word to describe what you should be as a Beggarā€™s Soldier: A Savant. Like, donā€™t get me wrong, thereā€™s definitely some mechanical skill involved here, and if you get good at it, well, the skill ceiling is still crazy high. But even if you donā€™t know what youā€™re doing, you can still clean house very easily. Like, look - lemme give you an example: So in this clip I get distracted by a friendly ā€˜cause heā€™s really cute, and OH OKAY alright, and...uhā€¦ oh shit this guy, okay no problem, Iā€™ll corner peek him...okay, gottem. Wait what the fuck? Hang on, wait, wait wait? So if that wasnā€™t him, then who was it? Who are you? WHY DID I KILL YOU? Eh, it doesnā€™t matter, in this clip I see some people coming up from sewer, so I go ahead and get ready to meet them, and fire off a rocket for no reason, and guess what happens next? Go on, guess. Yeah, you guessed it. Thereā€™s a spy there. Did I know that? No. Am I gonna pretend like I knew that? Of course I am! This is the TF2 equivalent of the drunken fist, thatā€™s my THING, dude. Anyway, now Iā€™m gonna go kill these guys with a shitload of spam, as you do. Yeah, thatā€™s right scout. Yeah, thatā€™s right, run. RUN FROM MY OVERWHELMING POWER... ...he got away but that doesnā€™t matter letā€™s just ignore that part - Alright, so I know thereā€™s a sniper watching a sightline somewhere, so Iā€™m gonna need to be careful here. I donā€™t wanna peek prematurely or anything like that - Eh, yā€™know what, just kidding! Fuck your sightlines, Iā€™ve got a Beggarā€™s Bazooka, that means youā€™re already dead! Positioning? WHATā€™S THAT? Hey, speaking of positioning, letā€™s talk about this part on the stats. Yeah, that red text that talks about overloading. Yeah, thatā€™s supposed to be a downside, but itā€™s actually the best part about the entire weapon. That overload lets you do this: mid air jumps, with no need for a wall to jump off of. Combine that with the fact that you essentially have an infinite clip, and you can basically put yourself anywhere on the map you want to be, at any time. Itā€™s kind of...stupid. (lol) So, yeah. Saying this thing has ā€œhigh mobilityā€ is the understatement of the century. Like, look at this - Iā€™m gonna start over here, and then just go FLYING up the hill and then slide up the ramp, see if I can find anybody over here, and thereā€™s...uhh...nobody. Hang on, where is everybody? Lemme just check down here...oh hey! Hereā€™s someone, and boom, youā€™re dead. No walls? No problem. Letā€™s just go ahead and jump right on up here, and then jump off the air molecules, and boom, youā€™re dead. Load up some rockets, jump up here, and oh shit heā€™s uh - Yeah, I totally meant to do that, what are you talking about? Alright, so I know the scoutā€™s been liking to go to the tower recently...Yup! Okay, yeah, youā€™re dead instantly. Now we took care of him, letā€™s just go ahead and jump over here, see if we can find anybody. While weā€™re over here we might as well get some health, reset. And oh, okay, this guy got the drop on me! Better teleport to the other side of the map! Hey, guess what? Youā€™re dead instantly! Now Iā€™M dead instantly! Thatā€™s how fast the Beggarā€™s kills shit! This thing will basically push the Source Engine to its limits, and honestly, I think itā€™s only a matter of time before it pushes it beyond that. Ethan: [soldier_sf12_falling01.mp3] [Also soldier_sf12_falling01.mp3] [Heā€™s still going] Dallas: [needs a medic bag] MUL-T: [totally accurate death scream] [Sad wobbling noises] Ethan: Aw :c Average Fortnite Player: [in regional dialect] Hello! DRG Scout: AAAAHHH Markus: OI! Ethan: [sci_pain4.wav] Excalibur Umbra: [loud howling noises] Doomfist: [falling off a cliff] Stick Figure: [about to get hit by a giant burger] Mike Haze: [having a very bad day] (ow) DESTRUCTIVE FINISH! (ow again) Ow, medic! Owwww...okayā€¦ (I very much regret this skit) LazyPurple: Weā€™ll be right back after a quick message from our sponsor! Ethan: Mannā€™s Guide is sponsored by Markiplier.t...wait, I canā€™t talk, Jesus. Okay, hang onā€¦ Mannā€™s Guide is sponsored by Marketplace.tf, the useful and convenient website that, yes, is cheaper than the Steam market. Thatā€™s not a marketing buzzword, itā€™s actually just way cheaper. See? Marketplace.tf was launched in 2013 and is made by the same people behind Scrap.tf and Backpack.tf. So in terms of convenience, you already know itā€™s gonna be pretty high-tier. You can buy or sell TF2 items for straight cash, no BS. Thereā€™s just a single 10% fee, compared to the Steam Community Marketā€™s 15%, and that fee isnā€™t placed on the buyer like lots of other services try to do. If youā€™re selling items, you can set up your own little shop, and when you sell stuff, you can either use that money to buy other items right there in the site, or you can get a PayPal payout within 5 minutes, with no additional fee. Itā€™s fast, cheap, and easy. Thereā€™s a link in the description if youā€™re interested. Oh, wait, I almost forgot! Thatā€™s not even the best part. The totally awesome thing about this site is that thereā€™s no gambling involved, unlike WinFreeTF2ItemsNoVirusIPromise.tf over there, so having my video be sponsored by it isā€¦ yā€™knowā€¦it's ACTUALLY LEGAL. LazyPurple: Letā€™s get right back to our feature presentation! KJ: Hey! Ethan: KJ, hang on, I gotta sneezeā€¦ Letā€™s talk about the barrage mechanic. Yā€™know, the thing that the weapon was supposed to be based on? Yeah, I just realized I hadnā€™t talked about that yet - I kinda got distracted repeatedly tapping mouse1 and sniffing glue, so I kind of forgot. Anyway. The barrage mechanic is, you guessed it, incredibly strong. In terms of raw burst damage, itā€™s already ridiculous, but when you think about overload jumping and how you can sync up your rockets to connect even closer to one another and how damage falloff is calculated with player distance to rocket and not total distance traveled and how you can hold the barrage by taunting and...I...yā€™know what? Iā€™m just gonna just let these clips speak for themselves. Wait, what? I...uh... well, alright then. Lookā€¦ Much like the soldiers who use this thing, Iā€™ve been kind of aimless with what Iā€™m talking about here. Iā€™ve just been kind of jumping around from topic to topic, from mechanic to mechanic, with no real cohesion or thought put into it at all. So Iā€™m gonna try and reel this video back in. How should you, a real Mann Co. Mercenary, use the Beggarā€™s Bazooka? Well, to do that, Iā€™m gonna have to talk about one more mechanic, as well as my favorite thing in video games, RNG. [Evil laughing] Isnā€™t this WACKY, and UNIQUE, and FUN? Are you having fun yet? WHY ARENā€™T YOU HAVING FUN, ANSWER ME! The beggars has a firing radius larger than stockā€™s - specifically, it can fire anywhere within a 3 degree cone starting at the barrel of the launcher. Or possibly the grip, depending on who you ask. And it certainly feels less precise than 3 degrees, but...whatever. This means that you could theoretically hit an airshot anywhere within that cone, cause the rocket could go anywhere, right? And when you consider that TF2 has an aim-lock (you can only aim so far up), you realize that the Beggarā€™s could fire past that. So, theoretically, this means that you could hit more airshots with the Beggarā€™s Bazooka. Because of this, the best way to play Beggar's Soldier is CLEARLY... ...to just go for airshots. Okay, you donā€™t believe me, you need an example. Just watch: Shit Fuck! I feel like Iā€™m trying to take a piss while Iā€™m shit-faced! Goddamn piece of shit - Fine, Iā€™ll justā€¦ Oh shit, I did it! I DID IT! Wait, whereā€™d he go? See? A third of the time it works all the time, whatā€™d I tell ya? Seriously, though, sarcastic anti-tutorial bit aside, there are going to be moments where the rocket deviation works in your favor. I mean, really! How do you dodge a soldierā€™s rockets when even he doesnā€™t know where the heck theyā€™re gonna go? Honestly, when youā€™re using this thing, itā€™s basically like youā€™re playing the lottery. You could either hit lucky 7s or get served the freshest of ass whoopings...wait, what? That makes no f---ing sense - who even wrote that? KJ: That was me, what about it? Also, language - weā€™re trying to boost CPM, remember? Ethan: You tried to draw a comparison to the lottery, but your reasoning for it was because of a slot machine? Okay, I guess Iā€™ll buy that, itā€™s a stretch but theyā€™re both related to gambling, but then thereā€™s the ā€œass-whoopingā€ part. What does that have to do with gambling? Itā€™s stupid! KJ: Youā€™re stupid! Ethan: Just...shut up, man! Alright? Stop messing with my script, I can handle this. Okay, hereā€™s an...alternate bit? Okay, hang on - So basically itā€™s like throwing your shit at a wall, because sometimes it sticks, and sometimes you get thrown in a padded cell. Then you realize that you are in a padded cell for throwing shit at people - wait, okay, thatā€™s funny, but that makes no sense either! KJ, I love you, dude, but you canā€™t write a script or convincingly voice act to save your life. I mean, Iā€™m not exactly setting a high bar here, but dude, cā€™mon! KJ: Itā€™s my show! Iā€™m the producer! Ethan: And Iā€™m the editor. And the host! And I say that your analogy made no sense. This whole thing makes no sense! KJ: Well, itā€™d make sense if you were a real beggarā€™s soldier. Ethan: Alright, Iā€™m gonna go ahead and rate the beggar's bazooka 2 degrees of rocket deviation out of 5. I really want to like this weapon, the movement shit it can do is awesome. But the weird, imprecise bullshit and unrelentingly stupid playstyle that it promotes is just absolutely - Spy: Okay guys, Iā€™m gonna have to give this weapon a 6/2 Sound...smith points? Hey, when do I get paid? Iā€™ll suck your di- LazyPurple: Mannā€™s Guide is filmed in front of a live studio audience! Nobody laughed, but...they were there. Trust me.
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Channel: SoundSmith
Views: 4,677,614
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: TF2, Team Fortress 2, SoundSmith, SoundSmithTF2, Funny Moments, Shenanigans, TF2 Funny Moments, Mann's Guide, Beggar's Bazooka, Beggar's, SoundSmith Mann's Guide, OrnaBug, Bearded Expense, XenoGene, LazyPurple, Genowhirl70, Clockwerk Smurf, Zeekrocz117, Leg4Me, Tutorial, How to, how to use the beggar's bazooka, jump, rocket jump, overload, barrage, random crit, random spread, market garden, tf2 beggar's bazooka, other tags idk
Id: 0DgwvVb03CM
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 14min 38sec (878 seconds)
Published: Sat Dec 21 2019
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