Teenagers In Marriage Counseling?! (S1, E8) | Teenage Newlyweds | Full Episode | Lifetime

previously on teenage newlyweds   i will be heartbroken if you guys aren't close you  never know what's gonna happen george i'm christy i'm spirit to death and i feel a lot  of pressure to make you happy me too i have to ask him to do stuff  i hate it i can't stand it   i don't feel like i'm happy how  do you feel about counseling after your pregnancy scare what went through your  mind did you threaten to leave her did it get to   that point yes do you want to be with somebody  who's got such a different worldview than you   forever you may now kiss your bride the couples  have tied the knot and the honeymoons are over   on this episode our couples face unresolved issues  the distance really stinks having a hard time   without you guys from letting go of the past the  solution to the problem in her mind is moving home   when i was about 13 my dad was in a really bad car  accident i became the man of the house to holding   on to their beliefs look at that little aborted  baby i think you might not quite get how strongly   i feel about it about it oh my god oh my  god there's a lot more to figure out than i   thought there'd be are they willing to make tough  changes when married life gets real is it worth it   is she worth it you will fight for  your marriage or it won't last oh gosh is are you ready to roll yes i'm taking brenda to a pro-life event the  planned parenthood rally i'm a little bit nervous   me too do you have the key i have mikey the  counselor told us that would be good ideas   so brennan can get some insight into what it  means to be pro-life and why people are pro-life   i suppose my main belief on abortion is that if  there's a woman who's pregnant and no one's life   is in danger then it's not right for someone to  make a choice for their child and say you know   i don't want you to exist so i'm going to have an  abortion you know i think that people's lives are   precious and that you can't just sort of dismiss  them what if i think that it should be a law that   you know abortions are are not legal so you would  have women who are having abortions thrown into   prisons i don't know like what the punishment  is gonna be when you get like if y'all are fine   driving an abortion it should be at least more  than a parking ticket right now a child's life is   valuable and if you don't see that then you don't  say child's life is valuable and i do agree with   you i think children are valuable but i also  think women are valuable oh is this the protest oh there's more over here abortion kills children look  at that little aborted baby bang i still love you i think you understand me a lot but i think you  might not quite get how strongly i feel about it   and you feel strongly about it and i know you're  really emotional about it but emotions aren't   going to solve the problem learn about this topic  not only from the heart but also from the brain being able to talk to somebody and  understand their point of views   and that ability to be open and to hear  things makes things go a lot better than   if you're stringent about your own  views and that's all you care about do you want to get out no travis may be pro-life but he's very  different than the people who were there   travis is so much more understanding and a lot  less judgmental and the protesters were out there who was that guy what the hell did he take my picture he  might have i'm really weirded out by that guy the moment you feel really uncomfortable  i hope you didn't get a picture of me   since i am pro-choice it was the fear that if  i were to save my beliefs or say where i stand   that i would receive a lot of backlash let's  just leave oh my god oh my god they were taking   pictures of us i felt scared i was like what's  going on i just didn't feel safe it was scary   i kind of felt unsafe too let's just go let's  head out of here he's really creeping me out i'm not going to look towards him come on come say goodbye to me  love you too i will miss you after after they left last night  i just started crying again i just didn't want to see them go okay and i  can do that everybody take a half a step in and i i don't expect her to like put on  a happy face and pretend she's not fast   as i want her to know that i guess i'm hurting too all right bye the distance really stinks text me i like  pictures snapchats i just love my family   they're the most important things protest did not go exactly as planned it was  very intimidating we didn't really want to get   out the car it left me feeling very unsettled  yeah are we going uh cheers to your thing   brenda's going to take me somewhere and  i have no idea what she has planned i'm   really excited about making travis  walk in my shoes how does this get   me getting in your shoes how is this mean  i think it'll be fun to go to this church i feel like i'm kind of set up on this like blind  date i don't know i knew what's next let's do this so did you feel like my mom was too naggy at you   your mother's always naggy at  me just wants the best friend they have to be communicating  if they are having difficulty   communicating then they need to get somebody who  can teach them a way to learn how to communicate   it's not going to get better by itself how do  you feel about counseling i mean it would be helpful in our marriage maybe i don't want you talking other  people like i dragged you there   i don't like counseling don't really uh  take having somebody tell me something   i've done wrong very well and uh  coming from a complete stranger it   i don't know i just there's something about having  somebody i've never met that doesn't know me or   my life tell me that i'm doing something wrong  how's haley you know some days it's kind of like   kind of feels like the solution to the problem  in her mind is you know moving home that's the   normal human nature way of doing it it's a quick  fix that's just that's that's the world we live in   our school's here we have two great jobs  here you know it's just her family's not here hello hi hey what's going on it's hard having a  hard time without you guys there were some major   changes and more changes on your side yeah than on  you know than on george's side i mean if if haley   were to move home if that were even an option  you know like that's not good for a marriage   that's where you need to really really tie in   the listening loving the praying together  it's not an easy fix and easy way of doing it   is it hard that we're up there when we see you is  that i mean is it worth it yeah make it work no i   mean it's hard every time you guys leave when you  get married you make a commitment to one another   and says your problems are my problems my problems  are yours and together we can be invincible the   man at the top of the mountain he didn't just fall  there he started at the bottom he went through all   kinds of problems to finally get where he wanted  to be we live in a world of convenience and it's   easy for people to quit and just say yeah i'm done  with this but when you marry it's a commitment   to one another that this is not going to end i  want to figure out something i can do now that   will help you know so i'm listening i'm trying to  listen i'm trying to be there for so do you think   it's better if we come up more often or do you  think it's better if we don't come out so often i think it'd be better if you move here well we love you we we miss you well  i miss you too love you love you baby so what's been on your mind dr jack and sue right what about  marital advice marital advice yeah   kind of came in while they  were talking with them about it   emma and i are at i guess a pivotal point in the  relationship and i'm very close with my parents   they've always given me the advice i needed and  yelled at me when i needed it and what kind of   advice did they have for you small things add  up like dishes being in the house they don't   really bother me when i come home but they bother  emma if it bothers her then it should bother you   what else can i counseling i can tell  you this counseling only gives you   skills and it makes you practice using those  skills no oh i want to do counseling okay   how the heck do you think we've been made it  through 25 years of marriage for crying out loud   it's no secret we've not had an easy oh la-dee-da  all versus kind of marriage it has been a fight   so was divorce ever really an option with you guys   not for me it was it was for me was  divorce really never an option for you no i was fighting my dad  has always been an alcoholic when i was about 13 my dad was in a really bad car accident  completely passed out at the wheel and hit   an oncoming car managed to get  out of the car just in time to see   the car that he had hits the  family get out and the car explode my parents didn't do too well after that my  dad didn't live with us for probably a year   i became the man of the house took my  mom a really long time to forgive my dad   he was very persistent on getting back  with my mother he told me that he loves her   more than life and he would do anything he  could to be able to keep her in his life and   something about how my dad loves her but is beyond  measure i'd say i learned quite a bit from that all right let's do this so i've been to a pro-life  rally and now we're going to this presbyterian   church so travis can step into my shoes hi  there how are you come on in how you doing   hi i'm fine you must be travis yeah that's me i am  a presbyterian minister and a pastor local church   pastor and i am decidedly pro-choice and pro-faith  i wanted to bring travis here so you could really   understand where the pro-choice people who  also believe in god are coming from well i   do believe that many of the people involved with  the pro-life movement base it on their religion   faith is an important part of this it should  be it absolutely should be it just needs to be   used i think for healing and grace rather than for  oppression i think quite often religion is used to   shame women into not having an abortion and that's  really sad and certainly not biblical but it does   it does happen when i was 14 years old i worked  in a hospital lab and i watched a woman bleed   to death having it induced an abortion and she  left six kids motherland oh talk about a tragedy   and one of the things that someone told me at that  point in time was that doctors knew how to help   women who didn't want to be pregnant but it was  against the law and i had just watched this woman   die of a self-inflicted abortion leaving all of  these kids homeless and i'm thinking this is not   this is not okay god invented women with the  responsibilities of having babies and trusted   them with that responsibility and there's never  been anywhere in scripture at least that i have   read anything contrary to that and so if god  trusts women to do this then why can't we trust   women now of course we've got this wonderful war  on women going on right now which is attempting   in any way possible to shut down every abortion  clinic they can find but the reality is that women   have been making this decision since the beginning  of time it's fairly new to have men as involved in   women's reproductive health as we see them now  i feel a little bit left out of the conversation   um because they're both are really gelling on  the conversation and it's not the conversation   that i fit into you've just had plenty of things i  would love to say hey i don't agree with that let   me tell you my opinion i still view an abortion as  something that is incredibly tragic it's a pretty   magical thing that a man and a woman could come  together and create something in that absolutely   you know whether or not we were like fully ready  for it yeah i don't think that that outweighs the   the life of a child that could be it's definitely  a difficult subject right and you talked a   lot about the men they want to be the ones in  charge and all of those things and all of these   words you know that are being used clue me into  this is a space where my opinions aren't heard so i got socks deodorant phone charger how are  you already packed with haley missing her family   so much it's just that i'm the kind of person  that like i want to solve the problem so i'm   like okay like how can we make it so you'll  be happy i'm excited to see my grandparents   yeah me too they're hilarious they love you  so they're so cute we're going down to stay   with my grandparents they're full of this  rich advice yeah we better listen to them   yeah they know what they're talking about yeah what would you like to say um i said i think  i said what i wanted to say about you know   my views on when you know how precious  a child is and how precious it is when   even it's still inside of the womb i think it  still holds value for me personally i based off   of you know logic and what i've learned in all  of my human wisdom i would probably say that my   opinion is that life would begin as like when the  the two cells combine the like conception yeah the   conception right if you believe that life begins  at conception then maybe you could make a case for   uh abortion being murder but not that doesn't  doesn't work with me at all and talking to a   woman who's had multiple miscarriages she will  tell you that life does not begin until she holds   that baby in her arms yeah that's just and that's  that's a theological statement as well as a a very   emotional statement obviously in a situation like  this i just hoped i could broaden his thinking and   his horizons a bit he's probably not ever going  to embrace the idea i mean he talked very almost   romantically about babies and and family and  he's come as far with this as he'll come for now   uh and hopefully they won't have any more  pregnancy scares and that the pregnancies   they do have will be wonderful and planned and  and uh will go go well did you feel comfortable   with the idea of walking in my shoes by meeting  pastor anne it was an uncomfortable situation so   no no it was definitely really uncomfortable  to to be there and you know participate and try to agree as much as i could with everything  that you guys are saying you don't have to try to   agree a lot that's not the point you don't have  to agree at all i wonder what do i have to do it's not easy honey and there  have been plenty of times when   you know one or the other of us has seriously  considered throwing in the towel and it wasn't   easy for you there came a time when you had  to step up to the plate and you know do my job   and do your dad's job until he got back after  the accident yeah and i'm sorry for that son it was a tough one kiddo and you  should give yourself credit for that   because i couldn't have done it without you   he took on the role of being emotionally strong  he didn't he he didn't cry or show his emotion   throughout that whole experience really that has  often kept me awake at night because joey still is   very stoic i do think he is  emotionally unavailable because of that   we wouldn't have made it through it  we wouldn't have for real so thank you you're welcome to watch  joey kind of grapple with us   is it's hard i mean you know no one wants to  see their child struggle no one especially   wants to see their child struggle with  things that they've struggled through the truth is joey is that the  world is kind of designed now   to not support marriage people  go into marriage thinking that   well if it just doesn't work at all my next wife  will be better right i'll just get a divorce   you you took vows you made promises  to each other okay it takes effort i was in the camp of people don't ever change  but his decision to go through rehab and   walk the steps was a turning point for  sure i very quickly came out of the camp   of people don't change to people can  change we wouldn't be together today   if it weren't for that is she worth  it is she worth you giving that effort if you recognize that there's a problem reach  out and get help you know you're not born   with a tool kit for marriage go to a counselor  and get that skill set there's absolutely no   shame in that and then you can get through  anything you will fight for your marriage or it won't last oh gosh how's life travis and i went to meet up with pastor ann she's  this pastor who works at a presbyterian church   but she's also pro-choice and she helps women who  are in crisis what was it like to meet a spiritual   person but who not only is pro-choice but actually  would help women in that decision and support them   if they elected to have an abortion  i got more of a deeper understanding   as to why brenda believes what she does but it  was still really uncomfortable and awkward to be   a part of that situation talk to me a little bit  about that discomfort and that awkwardness she   kept using how men are part of this discussion now  as well as women so you feel like she was saying   that men don't belong in this discussion um in  a way the perspective that she had automatically   puts me on the defense in a weird way and when it  comes to applying it to where the rubber meets the   road in our life it does change it in the way  that i can see why her initial reaction was the   way that it was was oh gosh i don't want to have  this child let's just have an abortion because   that's totally cool you know i'm like well that's  not cool that's not cool i'm not okay with that   okay i just caught your face there okay you made  a face and you said say i wanna have an abortion   because it's totally cool i said i would rather  have an abortion because how am i gonna feed the   child seems as though you're saying like brenda's  down with abortion she's saying it's a struggle   you know right but it wasn't something that maybe  she had to second guess as much that's not true   okay if i were actually pregnant i think i  would think a lot about what i was gonna do   and what my next step is going to be you've  made it seem simple and i've gotten the sense   from you from the beginning brenda that you're  insulted by that that's that it's not simple   this is a struggle but at the end of the day  it is a just it's it's a possible decision and   a perfectly fine one if need be when you  say that it's a possible decision but   more so it's a perfectly fine decision it's  like on the playing board yes right for me   it's like not on the playing board okay and  that's a fundamental difference what's that   like for you brenda to know though that even  after this experiment it's not on the table   i think it is an option because you can't make  me have a baby so while that conversation was   educational you guys would still be in exactly  the same position as you were when you had that   that scare this exercise fell short the issue  of abortion ended up being far more divisive   than either of them ever anticipated at the end of  the day abortion could be a deal breaker for them hello hi how are you doing you're good how  are you good well yeah how are you doing   i'm good how are you good hi grammy yeah chargy  we made it hi haley i love my grandparents and   like they're full of this rich advice that i feel  like i'm getting now that i like let's be honest   i didn't really care about it when i was a kid i  was an idiot but now i'm like feed me feed me like   i want to know everything you know and it's just  awesome how's married life going it's all right how many years you guys been  married again 65. how old were you   when you and grandma got  married grandpa not quite 19.   really 18 years oh i thought you were a  little bit older because i know you were 16. that's young wow so you guys started dating well  way before you're supposed to i remember that   was it love at first sight i don't knows it was i  think it was if you say so yes yeah there's been a   lot of challenges there was some struggles there  when one's pulling this way and one's that way   i thought about giving up on it i'm glad i didn't  well i don't think i ever give up on her you are   the love of my life you are mine too you never  learn everything there is to know about marriage   ever about the time you think you've got it  down pat you find out there's a bump in the road   yeah but that's natural just don't ever let it  stop growing that would be my advice yeah yeah you also did another experiment i took brenda to   a pro uh life rally i think it was part of  like the protest planned parenthood campaign   okay well i don't think we neither one of us  really took much from it because they were that's a tough one the idea was to expose yourself  to his point of view but it wasn't your point of   view yeah and i think i can kind of explain why it  wasn't his point of view a little bit better than   he can i just feel like those people out there  were real like i said earlier they were shaming   the women whereas travis would never condemn  or shame another woman for having an abortion   well in some ways and it didn't backfire if  anything brenda you have a little more empathy for   his position now i'm just really coming to realize  him like that i really do understand travis and   that i distinguish him from other pro-lifers  i see him as a person with many layers and   as a very complex human being you had in a  very heartfelt way shared your fear brenda   that if you had an abortion travis would leave  you where is your thinking at with that now honey i'm home hi jeff hey sweetheart  here let's not watch anything for a minute i'm not very good at this whole talking thing  i'm not i'm sorry i don't cry you don't cry yeah i think of vulnerability is like is like a weakness it's where  you can get hit hard and be out for the count i can't imagine  anybody who would want to be vulnerable   you know being like left out in the open  like that you want to be tucked away safe i want to be able to be emotional  with you i shouldn't be afraid   of showing emotion especially  to me you know come your way i guess when my dad got into his accident well you know everybody else is an emotional wreck   so i just kind of figured somebody  needed to be the strong one i guess   i will do anything to make sure that this works  absolutely anything i'll go to the counseling   i'll do anything it takes marriage takes a lot of  work and a lot of communication and that you can't   really do it all on your own you kind of you  kind of need some help throughout the way from   parents who've been through it and can help you  through the rough spots i'm so grateful that   you like are willing to try with me you know  fell in love with you because you're perfect seriously the moment i met you  i thought you're just the most   fantastic person i ever met in my life i want nothing more but to spend my entire life  with you this is what i want i've always wanted   i want it with you i just want to make sure that we have a rock  solid marriage me too you really love me   of course i do and it shows that a fat joke  i knew you're gonna say that i knew you were   gonna say that i regretted it the second  that came out of my mouth i love you honey you had in a very heartfelt way shared your  fear brenda that if you had an abortion   travis would leave you where is your thinking  at with that now that one's difficult   that's a really hard one for me i've been really  torn between how much i care for my wife and you   know the beliefs that i have and thinking  about how that could have been like my son   i just wanted to show brenda how important it was  to me in a large way so that's why i said that i   would leave her if she had an abortion but when i  married somebody that's a really huge commitment   so no matter what i would  still love her just the same but what about for you brenda i feel much  more confident that he wouldn't leave me now   i feel like he would stick through with it and  figure something out together okay all right and   that's and those are the kinds of communication  shifts we want to see the most important thing   i think is to be committed and to be willing to do  whatever it takes marriage isn't about necessarily   what your differences are but how willing you are  to overcome those differences i don't think we'll   change for each other just because i feel like  um we don't really have to change for each other   yeah i think that that was kind of profound yeah  you guys have the potential to have like a 60 or   70 year long marriage okay you guys now have the  tools but it's up to you to pull on those tools   when you need to to keep this from destroying  you what's so unique about travis and brenda is   not that they met each other so young but rather  they had this huge ideological gulf between them   that would be enough to send most people screaming  into the woods in terms of a friendship let alone   dating and certainly let alone a marriage and yet  they found it within themselves to move past that   i think couples of all ages could actually take  a page out of their playbook and learn a little   bit about how love and empathy can help bridge  even the largest gulfs what you have done is   found tremendous empathy for each other as you've  gone through an experiment where you were both   challenged and instead of using that as a place  to divide yourselves you used it as a way to see   the world from the other person's perspective and  that's really extraordinary so again reflect on   that because that's really a profound experience  to witness and i hope to experience maybe there's   something to be said about meeting your partner  young because i think in many ways this couple   is going to grow up together and give them a  very unique interlinked history after watching   travis and brenda they almost are like a poster  child for people getting married in their genes has it been hard for haley  coming to utah leaving her family yeah she's never lived away from home and now  she's living away from home with a total stranger   it's a sacrifice to be married yeah yeah but  i could say i'd do the same thing over again   yeah it's worth it young newlyweds has got to just  do everything together be able to communicate with   one another be able to understand one another  and also to understand one another's family   family can come into big problems  bring your family close both of you just remember she's your soul mate and he's yours yes he is yep would you get the doorbell sure you can  get up easier than i can what what the heck would you get the doorbell sure  you can get up easier than i can what what the heck little tina hi oh my gosh   what in the world is going on who is it i wanted  to surprise haley with her family meeting this   year because i want to know how much she likes  surprises and what in the world is going on when i opened the door i was like oh my  heck what the heck hi say hi good kids thank you i want her to see your family as much as  possible and also just do little things like this   so she knows that we're never going to lose them  we're not going to just leave them behind are you   surprised yeah in the world george had called us  george cares about you you guys come on in you're   so sweet good job well done yes you too good  haley's happiness is really all i care about now i   just have to do everything i can to put her ahead  of me i mean that's love it's love is sacrifice   nuts on both ends too you can't just be one  person and i want to be close to both our families i missed you guys i'm really happy you came   well we have we have some news for you we are  really seriously considering moving up to utah awesome i wouldn't mind that at all if i could  pick everybody and everything that i knew and   loved move them to utah i would be so set and like  them moving up here that's totally it and you i   know that's a big part too don't think i don't  need you okay i understand okay i love you okay we aren't moving up here just because of haley  we feel like the timing is right got a daughter   that's graduating from high school and she's  applying for some of the colleges up here in utah   our oldest daughter and her husband is  also talking about moving up here to utah   i'm fortunate enough with my job that i can do  what i do wherever i decide to go so it may just   be the next natural step that's the thing that  matters the most is family yeah you guys are   definitely the most important thing to me all of you we want people to take away from this don't  wait when you know it's right you know   don't be afraid god's led me to where i needed to  be and i believe that that's why i didn't want to   wait to get married is because i believe that you  know haley can help me become who i want to be   and who i need to be that was beautiful  thank you you're beautiful oh thank you hi marriage isn't a fairy tale every single   one of us there's a lot of young  marriages that don't work out i feel like ours is different i get to spend the rest of my  life with the person that i love two people who kneel across an altar  holding hands make commitments to god   and by so doing to themselves also if  they keep their end of the commitment   their wedding will last beyond this lifetime but  into eternity and that's something to work for   when you give to each other and you fulfill  each other that's what love ends up being i'm looking forward to the journey with travis   everybody is perfect and you have to  forgive even though they make mistakes yeah it's not all about you right  it's about another person too now we'll fight for it we'll work it  out try to understand one another   even if you don't pretend you it's definitely not  gonna be perfect but it's going to be what we want i love you these years of college and  graduating college and getting our first   jobs and all these crazy memories are going  to be memories that we get to cherish forever i love you honey one of the greatest gifts in this life  we have is the agency to direct our lives   the people who think they're too young to be  married i would simply say it's their story to write so far being married is wonderful you

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Keywords: FYI, teenage Newlyweds, Breakthrough, lifetime, lifetime shows, lifetime tv, lifetime channel, mylifetime, fyi shows, fyi cahnnel, teenagers, weddings, marriage, season 1, communication breakdown, married with friends, marriage meets money, FYI channel, FYI network, teenage marriage, teen wedding, teen married, high school sweethearts, married young, leaving the nest, Teenage Newlyweds s1 e8, Teenage Newlyweds s01 e08, Teenage Newlyweds 1X8, teenage Newlyweds s1 clips

Id: YPMZwj6qTDQ

Length: 42min 47sec (2567 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 08 2020