Series 3, Episode 2 - 'The Dong and the Gong.' | Full Episode | Taskmaster

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I'm Brett Davis mrs. taskmaster five of the nation's most competitive comedians are going head-to-head in hope of winning my head in all its golden glory the end of all five episodes one of them will be awarded the taskmaster trophy and that person's career will at last take off our contestants they are to me I'm his slightly smaller throne is Alex horn but who is Alex horn mmm well you've given me some notes and according to your notes that you've written I'm your official secretary I have some skills as an equal number of weaknesses for example I steal things so that sir that's my resume that you wrote that's true isn't it have you ever stolen anything yes what I've stolen kept the car no in real life I stole a car last year Oh recently it wasn't like childish hijack it was unlocked and keys were in the ignition I stole the car today's prize category what if these people bought in for me okay it's quite a niche one this time the five rivals have been asked to bring in the heaviest item that can fit in a shoebox okay so whoever brings in the heaviest item that can fit in a shoebox he'll win the first maximum point of the show whoever wins the episode will win five two boxes full of heavy items all to play for where to start Paul hello no he do mo I'm doing better now what have you I - did you bring and why am I gonna give you all the points for it because it's heavy what is it melon in it another Hammond it's a lot of something traditionally associated with heavyweight and I think I think of words that I would pop before weight to emphasize love I'd say lead maybe we have a look at next Dave yeah I brought a lump of marble that I dug out of my garden you've got a garden full of marble yeah we had a garden that was massively overgrown when we moved in and we had to clear it all and I think it was a collapsed sort of bird table or something it would have been nice if you could have taken some time to scrub that bird ow well what did our bring us I brought um Alan Bullock's classic history Hitler and Stalin parallel lives because that is really really heavy wow it's pretty offensive but why be censored out the shoe box instead the shoe boxes but its own Hitler mustache certainly melon seems fine than it Sarah what did you bring in and I have brought a poisonous snake is very heavy so the the lid is shut okay and it's very poisonous if we wait the snake well no I wouldn't allow to approach the box I was told there needs to be a handler so we don't I mean I have anyway I think it's about how much was the marble 27:32 wait then it's not void right well she said it was 32 yeah it's about whether you trust me or not oh I don't Rob oh yeah I've got some concrete gosh pull it full of concrete okay good luck with this so I go in last place you you're putting yourself in last words you wouldn't know Chucky aren't they I'm gonna put Sarah because I've not been able to weigh a snake in fourth place I guess what I'm putting Paul Chowdhury for preparing some melon in them once I appreciate elves cunning I'm gonna put Alan third place because there's not enough history to that definition of heavy what well today we brought the heaviest thing in back okay home with the next task please Alex here we go hold on to your hats or put or put your hands away here it is [Music] or every here is it gonna pop up that was that water man scary clown so I'll see his horrible face sword I want to play game nothing's more fun about [Laughter] surprised Alex surprise Alex when he emerges from his shed in one hour your time starts now could I move the shed oh that's what this is a metaphor for like it's a surprise how far it has fun real nerve go and kidnap his children from school if he comes out that said and there they are that would surprise you didn't it there's kids in school what if we kidnapped his kids [Laughter] the first issue addressing talents era I would argue that if Alex came out of his sheds and his children were just there that would be quite a surprise both of you wanted to take them against their will kids wiggle around sure who I want to see first yes I do poor children let's see how Paul's mind works feel like there's some horrible blood on the things you know that's good that's good that's horrendous Browntown sounded cool well thank you for that vampire [Applause] I've told deputies new children's character sort of set the task and we put a clown in a box like a human one in it sure I knew that was you get a brown clan in that small box if I did the real thing really surprised in it I mean I I was quite surprised so I've been in there for an hour this is why do I go in there I'll do my secretarial duties I need that cater I need to do some little booties I came out and I saw the box I was surprised to see the box but I did think it's probably a clown in the box yeah it was a surprise ohmmeter how high would it have gone it's a massive if I'm gonna know how long we were in the box hiding as the brown clown for about 45 45 who you and Sarah I mean honestly I want to stay here I love you Paul okay I mean presumably someone's gonna get hurt I guess I should be concerned no I Joe when I set the task and after you'd all completed them I don't get many details but I did ask Alex which ones he thought was surprising and he said this is a direct quote he said first the smallest part of a second I did think maybe Sarah had killed some [Laughter] what about the surprise our meter I mean I don't quite know what shape the surprise on material it's the surprise a meter on the surprise a meter it's about the same as the clown okay it was a valiant and disturbing effort who's next okay here is Alma reason [Music] [Applause] [Music] surprising to that really surprising I mean massive stuff I mean there's lovely physique for that look at that I mean the dong in the gong how many horns for ya you're a four horn surprise Noel has a slight advantage of living near the taskmaster house so we could source a gong within an hour I played drums on the side and I knew that there's a there's a gong rental place I thought it was phenomenal and awful surprise a meter it was I mean genuinely was the most surprising cuz it was it was deafening and surprising so far okay time for a break how will Dave and Rob surprised Alex when he comes out of his shed find out in part two [Applause] well goodnight class master where one of our lucky comedians we heading home with a block of concrete a lump of marble and some rotting watermelon Alex was the last task going it's going okay it's often been more disturbing than surprising but there's two more to see we're gonna see Rob Beckett but first mr. Dave Gorman here we go Gary Gorman oh oh it's a two-part is it no okay okay says dear Alex please press the blue button good mighty cut that you see actually thank you I said boxers and hear me misunderstood very nice my first question was how come you get to keep your clothes on and the camera crew don't I make the rules it's my it's my go and also I'm gonna surprise him by not being there so the idea of surprising him by not being there but being naked doesn't really stack up exactly buying that one by that he did also buy them you paid them a certain amount of money to take the clothes off [Applause] were you surprised yeah I mean the surprise was over a longer period of time so wasn't as immediate as the air horns right well the dead body and then we have the clown so okay let's let's see I robbed it I see if he was surprising Alex you've been a bad boy [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] look going on there being surprised quite surprising yeah thank you rob thank you for that while I made incredible right reasonably caring after did it he said are you wet which is not when you a cackling dressed as an animal I all I thought I saw your teeth visibly growing basically booming that I've had a kid the week before and I'd about set our sleep and I think had gone mad beginning of a breakdown we've got a winner there is all those all those hours down the gym of paid off for our Murray it was the barrage on the senses in general that was impressive so as the wet and then it was the noise yeah how many air horns for a fall I'll pop climb in just for that I'm gonna I'm gonna put Dave ahead of Sarah purely because he used bribery nakedness there's a hint of sexual exploitation in there and then he dropped out the bush and said boobs what let's find out how they're doing okay well after two rounds we have an early leader and that is mr. Rob Beckett the nanny jetwash cliche pays dividends at us please okay this one is the first team task of a series [Music] hello there's a gunk pardon a gong do you call him the Tron oh hello hello oh yeah it's one of you when I pull your time starts now Oh your time starts now care to explain as it was a message in a bottle exam relevant dear love okay it's not nothing no have you got tasks in your hand oh it's tied up ah that's locked the combination on it there's something in there can you pick pens there's something written on that in you hey release Alex fastest wins right okay so the key is needed I guess yeah which is in here [Applause] my first question is have you two have you ever met each other's parents you're clearly brother and sister people who were trying to be horrible to me on the internet saying I'm just you in a wig [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] really good so important pick any locks right any long did you successfully pick that lock didn't pick that one but sinister Aryan twins use a biro I've never busted sauna jealous and bend him over the table oops you're making it slightly tighter well my problem is it's a secret message maybe fins where's the look on the phone where's the filing the kind of phone on the phone pictures of phones that's a joke speedy has it before and I think I'm enjoying it there's a message on the back hey [ __ ] make the harder way yeah okay okay was it say Palmer Gregory Dave is there we go so it's page 72 how you mean c-word 4114 on this page twelve thirteen fourteen shedding shedding oh yeah it's a cracker I've got the stuff in here pays again look behind the picture that's picture no I flows are pictures here you going look at all the pictures I start his hand is it [Music] [Music] [Applause] two blond kids something fun together - Aryan twins solving problems yeah a couple of hours of kids for inner person stop for break now come back and see if Dave and I'll and Paul tackled the task in a faster time bye bye welcome back there are five shoe boxes up for grabs tonight and one of them might contain a dead snake am i right in thinking we were partway through a task you're always right and thinking Greg we are about to see if the beard can prove that here we go you might have a key on you know that's worth maybe there are some numbers and there's got to be numbers in the room that tell us that you know karma tests Gregor Davis there's 268 pages in this book I try to 6/8 I mean it's obviously that might be a number available to us the barometer pens there's a penny here string is it on here look on the phone look on the phone on the phone I mean all the numbers are here that's the nature of phones which is for just nine nine seven there's probably another phone that's maybe where we're making our hideous blunder phone somewhere it's good luck this Greg Greg's holding a phone in that picture oh yeah no I'm one one nine one one we are trio of [ __ ] we go the letti is on the outside there better let let rings on the upside down page it's gonna be turn to page so we're looking for a number there's a - Greg the Greg or Davis book so it's the taskmaster book page 72 word 34 31 32 33 34 was copyright Oh fourteen one two three four five thirty shedding shed look behind a picture behind the pit behind the picture behind Greg's picture could be [Music] anything on there what's this [Music] the photograph of a key the tune is in his hands three great minds or a trio of [ __ ] Paul was one of the great criminal minds of our time isn't it I believe you are still picking a lot is that because you follow some melon in it these two distracting me if you put your own you'd still be there trying to pick I would have got it sooner or later and I'll tell you that coma well I don't think there's gonna be a big surprise here about who's won before this team the beard the rover all time was 27 minutes and 37 seconds so really half an hour you probably probably knew that Rob took 16 minutes and 46 seconds maybe gone hey Alex do you have something quick we could see oh yes oh yes [Music] okie-dokie create the best upside-down self self portrait using only the material supplied I don't send the upside down this the taskmaster will judge the picture when it has been rotated 180 degrees so I'll go mini upside down on here right okay I get it you don't have to be upside down what the picture does but you could be the right way up all right okay right yeah okay you have 20 minutes your time starts now with a task you excited by I really got into it I really enjoyed it and felt a moment of creative expression don't haven't felt in a long time I wanted these pants again was it upside down for airhorns out wanna say I'll really getting into it do I okay we can see them all have you go where is this ketchup ketchup it's a lot like mustard and ketchup and brown sauce this red this isn't brown sauce is it brown sauce what's her white swathi cream this cream burger sauce mustard okey-dokey then Oh cheap vinegary that anyone touches this with their hands they're gross all right I think it's an exciting time for art right now no I'm an artist I'm a proper eyes look at it it's dripping out but it's that the squirt ism isn't as good condiments have never been my medium of are now brown you should have provided me with more Brown racing to give me loads of white no brown didn't expect her to the only racial tension during an exercise of spraying condiments against the brick wall I had they had an unfair advantage all of them because there was loads of white spray there was no know what's round source there was there was more white though white no cream then you always come up with these excuses you people don't see all five portraits yes so you just got a judge which one's best which one's worse and then also second and fourth and also said so I can drink that or if you like my mine run because it'll Dewar's way and yeah to scale so Sarah's is the only full-length one she's not done her face and her hair is going up yeah I was doing a handstand in the picture I could paint it the right way up yeah how I do a handstand and you know I genuinely presume that's what you're doing I thought yeah it's a handstand portray yeah you don't see many of them in the National Portrait Gallery technically a portrait right yes a portrait is a painting drawing photograph or in gravy or a person especially one depicting oh I'm bored who's your favorite your favorite I think it's our Morris no there's a sadness those condiment I so we've got first you want to go second yeah I'm gonna give it to Sarah just for a creativity so I'm gonna get Dave because that face needs to be an element of joy because I think I think he's making this noise I can't separate the madness on the bottom good hey what's that them twice cool that we have a runaway leader so far out of time leading the whole way through so far as mr. rod Beck oh you don't seem to trust ago what's next Alex we have another task [Music] hi hi hi sit here yeah I'm not popping balloons didn't like popping balloons no I'm gonna a [Applause] suspicious huh they look like they're in Morse code or something balloons yeah four dots three dashes or something I don't know done Oh still ting the piss may pop the balloons fastest wins your time starts when you pop the next balloon oh good god and she hadn't even noticed oh yeah no idea if I think that approach is it pop or balloons time starts when I do my first one right okay am I supposed to pop these balloons to Cologne that took lost this task time to start yeah the time starts when you pop your first balloon now these are intelligent people they're not they're not just gonna steam in and just start popping the balloon oh they can make it a plan they can get something so they're gonna think about it yeah um you want to start with Dave and Sarah I've even got keys in my pocket as annoying okay [Applause] [Music] [Music] what yeah they are all popped thanks Dave magically fascinated but dave was I mean it was particularly feral used his beard at times you just saw around on one minute if I think about what I think of Dave Gorman feral yeah one minute fifty sub to Sarah also sub to 1-minute 58 that's why my ones you're doing okay let's let's go to a logical brain oh really we can see Paul and Rob together that's okay could be a winner is anyone there's no light or anywhere this good pop some one hand it's quite dangerous but sealed knuckleduster trick you know I get one in each hand fastest wins all right all right [Music] [Music] [Music] left watching the evolution of human kindness we see the very basic primates using their teeth I've seen that in Mortal Kombat so I hope I got the reference now that was Street Fighter 2 oh I didn't get the reference nice to see that you're consistent with your use of the word as well last episode you called a rabbit covered in a slush puppy snowman in the last one do it though really good Rob yeah I bet you start off with a corkscrew and another corkscrew I took all three but one course was better so I still do that but in the end I went for one-handed swipes like a sort of angry cat very impressive but how impressive was it timewise but weirdly Paul wasn't that much quicker than the biters one minute 26 it's quick Rob he's treating them like wine bottles unscrewed them 31.6 second Marie's balloon frenzy still to come find out how he did in about three minutes plus all five head to the stage for the final task of this show yes they will see you soon [Applause] hello good see you again it's the final part show and there's a live tas just around the corner but first we need to conclude the task at hand Alex hi Craig so the current task involves popping balloons as fast as possible the current time to beat is thirty one point six seconds achieved by Rob Beckett and we've just got our to go you ready for our yeah okay here is our they were gonna fit out no they're not all gonna fit right for that doesn't mean that doesn't mean this isn't a good idea oh no no boys the idea to group the balloons together into small amount together as possible yeah and then commence popping them one big pot try and get them all in one go yeah to narrow the time down yeah but I could take as long as I like over managing the time yeah so far taking no time over this even though we're taking a long time over it yeah this is the obvious way to do it Brian running around in a frenzied idiot panic someone of this or the cricket bat for England you know just got to reorganize these balloons [Music] I'm stopping the clock they're just making sure I only lost two balloons was it yes not bad Thanks enjoy all right thank you I'll we'll do it we'll deal with this it's a really clever idea horrific executing I mean obviously with the terrible news is that there were two escaped balloon yet to be popped we can't verify it so it's not looking good for him he spent thirty four point six seconds smashing it with a cricket bat so he would have come in second but the two hind Rob's corkscrew exactly right yeah was there anything else about his attempt I don't remember the beginning of the tusks owl said something don't have a look yeah they look like they're in Morse code or something the only balloons yeah four dots three dashes or something I don't know doesn't it does look a bit like so because he said they went to look at it and we checked it out weirdly it was what it says this living on that fashion it's about packet occasional one before we find out who's going home with five filled shoeboxes could you please head up to the stage the final task of the show all week the tough coke please okay Paul that's for you they didn't know so clearly Paul unravel a whole roll of sticky tape put the unravel sticky tape in your lunchbox close your lunchbox fastest wins fastest wins your rightful and nice that you did it in the tone of voice of a sort of Batman film the windy boxes you've got sticky tape you want to open your boxes all the sticky tape has to come off the roll and after all go in the lunch box and lunch box tester shut if you could stop looking for the end of the tape please put the tape down everybody look up into the air blow your whistle go [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] listen you didn't listen okay can you want and what CL expected the scores did that all go according to plan Alex for most of them Rob still going pretend to someone else now in it when the scores Gregg I really do want the score okay well I'm afraid we're up didn't get any points that he didn't complete the task Sarah did it in one minute 46 there was only two seconds separating Paul and Dave Paul was two seconds quicker than Dave one minute 12 but sub1 minute al Murray in a 55 seconds of in thanks to his special David associations retained the series lead but the winner of this particular episode is right back is the winner of five luxury shoeboxes a prize that he told me in the break he thought was rubbish please go retrieve your prize hey thanks for today Alex hey thanks for thanking me today Greg thanks again Alex okay and what we learned today then well what we've learnt is if Alfred Hitchcock wanted to make the end of psycho really scary you should have shoved a jet washer in that old woman's hand and of course we've also learned that against the odds our winner tonight is Rob everybody [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you for more top Lancer subscribe now [Music] you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 2,647,568

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, The Horne Section, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Al Murray, Dave Gorman, Paul Chowdhry, Rob Beckett, Sara Pascoe

Id: ie5z4V9FhfY

Length: 44min 48sec (2688 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 31 2019