Tales From Tech Support - I don't understand!

hey everyone welcome to r slash tales from tech support where we get to have a little chuckle at the technologically disadvantaged like me i'm uncle reddit and have i got a story for you how many computers do you have earlier this week me since i've been working in my corner on halftime stuff desk is next to entrance to it room which is a doorless frame which puts my back to anyone that walks in user like the omnipresent cat ninja hybrids they are sneaks up behind me hey mojo me unfazed and not even turning around while speaking not to be rude but bigger fish to fry hey user what's up user oh not much hey when you have a spare minute sometime today manager asked if you could relocate me to a spare desk with no assets me that shouldn't be a problem i know you're leaving early today do you need it done before then or is after okay user i don't mind manager just asked for today there's nothing at the desk already so you'll need to move all my computers and stuff too me actually turning around now is we're eternally skinned for assets and i'm surprised this user apparently has multiple computers uh computers like multiple you have more than one user yeah you know these pointing at my dual office monitors computers me with a look on my face oh okay then yeah that won't be a problem user wait hold on a minute no no no tell me what i t thing did i say wrong me well when you come into the office in the morning what's the first thing you do to start working this is a loaded question is i know this user shuts down their tiny pc every day user i push the button on the box on the desk behind my computers me yeah the thing you're pushing the button on is the computer these are monitors or screens they just let you see what the computer is outputting user visible confusion oh okay well thanks for moving it all when you get to it exit stage left users between 20 and 25. god help me there was a time when i could see younger people being confused about that but i'm not sure today why anyone wouldn't know the difference between a computer and a monitor maybe maybe it's laptops maybe laptops are to blame you know considering it's pretty much one unit since it's all hooked together physically that's the only thing i can think of don't dox the customers so some years back i was doing support for networking devices we weren't in isp we just sold and troubleshot the networking devices routers switches etc i still had a decent working knowledge of how most of the big isps in the country operated since a lot of my calls involved the internet going out the customer panicking looking at their internet box their router and calling the company whose name was on there at which point we obviously had to troubleshoot the router and the internet connection and it was usually though not always a problem with the internet connection so our story begins with one of these calls very standard hello thank you for calling company my name is truly how can i help you hi my internet's out i need it back up all right have you already been in touch with your internet provider uh that's you guys i'm afraid it's not but since you're here we should still troubleshoot your it's your name on the box he was referring to a router i'm aware but we don't provide internet services we only sell the equipment well who's my internet provider then i'm not sure sir who do you pay your internet bill to you guys i'm fairly certain that's not the case sir you calling me a liar no sir i'm just trying to tell you that we don't what's your name truly i want your full name and your employee number i'm afraid i don't feel comfortable giving out my full name and we don't really have employee numbers you have to give me your full name i'm a customer i'm sorry sir but i don't have to do that however i assure you that i am the only truly in my department fine i'm going to write an article about this i'm a journalist in a big newspaper you know you're going to be fired before this is all said and done oh i'll admit that i didn't have much of a response ready for that one i wouldn't be surprised if your company ends up going under from this or a pretty important paper when it comes to consumer rights i couldn't help myself which newspaper is it big mistake huge what are you trying to dox me yes he actually said docs no sir i just asked you're trying to dox me i can't believe this who the heck do you think you are sir no i just figured if there's going to be an article about i demand a manager i need to speak to someone up the chain this is outrageous you can't treat customers like this give me your manager at this point my manager who's been listening in on the last couple minutes nod's for me to transfer she pretty quickly finds out it's an isp problem and told me that he'd been quite pleasant to her throughout their conversation i'll never forget that strange man i'll never understand why people think those kind of threats really work like okay you work for a newspaper nobody's doing anything wrong here settle down skippy you see that button there indeed the one you just clicked yeah don't click that i work at a small av company as a programmer so naturally it falls under my purview on the bright side the company has no problem putting up the money for good hardware and warranties to match and the few of us who are assigned computers are competent enough to keep them clean and maintained on their own our infrastructure consists of just one server for file archive and accounting a fireproof nas for backups of the critical stuff a couple meraki mx64s for that sweet sweet point-and-click site-to-site vpn goodness and an array of cloud services for everything else so it is a very easily manageable fraction of my workload today i came into the shop and was in the middle of my morning redditing search when i happened to cross a concerning thread warning of a bsod blue screen of death triggered by printing since we have no update server i got to chase this one manually lucky for me the bsod only gets triggered when printing to a kyocera printer but unlucky for me we just happen to have one which sees frequent daily use by bossman so i paid him a visit me yo boss man have you been able to print successfully today bossman yeah why do you ask me is windows caught up on updates boss man i think so me you mind checking for me boss man opens windows update settings which is sporting a happy green check mark me cool in that case just leave it be so you can still and that's as far as i got before bossman clicked the check updates button which dutifully began downloading and installing the offending update me well i was trying to tell you not to do that because that update has been known to cause a bsod when printing the kyocera printers so bossman whoops well in that case i'll close everything up and give it a reboot and test printing before restarting anything critical me okay let me know how that goes at the very least boss man is the kind of guy who owns it when he f's up so i left into it while i refreshed my memory on update removal procedures back at my desk he's also pretty experienced at the computering himself so fixing it would just be standing over his shoulder and giving loose guidance i was back at my very important research for only a few minutes before boss man popped over to my desk boss man hey everything seems to work fine with that update still installed so i'm gonna leave it me good deal so what did we learn today boss man let you finish your sentence before poking things i shouldn't me atta boy yeah you might be the one in charge but being the boss doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to the people under you you hired him for a reason data center meltdown so i'm working a bit late with the new guy shadowing me when a call comes in hi dude i need some help the router is reporting high temperature alert can you give it the once over ask the network guy sure thing say aye and off we go to the data center rooms the first room was fine the second one was fine and you knew the saying third time lucky well i think they need to change that saying i'm opening the door i was hit by a wave of heat i went and grabbed a couple of chairs and wedged the doors open my shadows stayed on guard while i went to find security hi guys do you have visibility of the dc yes those cctv screens there says security well what does it say on the big temperature lcd display 50 degrees celsius and you don't think that's strange say i raising my hands to the heavens then sighing no the room's like a sauna so get facilities back in to fix it i go and update the boss and he says to shut down all the servers i get back to the dc and my shadow isn't looking so good i tell them to stand outside while being on guard by the time the servers are shut down i'm soaked in sweat facilities arrive later seems that one of the air conditioners went down and the remaining two failed as it was too much for them to handle the only saving grace was that it was the pre-production dc so it sounds to me like security is also in charge of kind of keeping tabs on the server rooms and things like that temperatures fire you know most security in most companies and buildings is in charge of like firewatch uh things like that so yeah something that's that out of whack should have been noticeable to them sure i can transfer you after creating a makeshift office out of a conference room and connecting three p's into our office network it was finally time to add the two ip phones the first phone line was pretty existing so i knew the call quality would be adequate after i created the line for the second phone it was time to test the call quality but who would be able to answer my call could there possibly be someone whose only job it is to answer phones and see what the caller needs that's right i called reception hey this is it admin and i'm testing the call quality for this new phone line can you please confirm you can hear me clearly certainly i'll transfer you to it admin right away after leaving myself a voicemail to check the call quality i painstakingly walked back into my office to listen after confirming the quality was crystal clear i was left with more questions and answers as to why i was transferred to my own voicemail from an internal extension happy thursday it was a movie i think it was called gotcha i'm kind of showing my age here back in the 80s uh it was these college kids on campus that played uh basically played tag with dark guns you know the little dart little plastic dart with a suction cup on the end and uh this kid got recruited by this girl who pretended to like him she was a russian spy blah blah blah but he kept calling home to his house and he was i guess he was this rich kid who had servants at home and uh the hispanic maid kept answering the phone and he kept saying hi this is jonathan let me speak to my dad no jonathan no here jonathan no here so yeah anyway corny but it was funny and if you haven't seen it go check out that movie it's dated but i liked it it was kind of a cool movie i just know i have more messages than that i just took a call from one of the owners complaining that he just wasn't seeing enough messages from people when he sorts by from background this is one of those people who insists the computer should work the way he wants not the way they actually do and we need to accommodate his desires he heads up oh my god he has upwards of 150 000 mail messages in his inbox and at times it sees 70 gigabytes of space occupied by his ost file all that said ms has it pretty much right we have fewer problems than you might expect so i remote it into his desktop and take a look from his brother abe he has five messages one on red from bob he has seven messages two unread knowing how these folks operate i know that that's completely unreasonable there should be hundreds for each of them so i take a look around the screen and note the 151 000 plus unread messages in his inbox then i glance up at the search box i see the word key in the search including quotes when i mention this to the user he realizes what happened and quickly ended the call while that kind of thing gives me a story for tales from tech support i really do like the occasional that was easy kind of call ok confession time so my daytime job i i'm self-employed i have a retail business it's manufacturing in retail but so when my orders come in i use a weebly website i know i should be using wordpress i do feel ashamed but anyway it was pretty easy drag and drop the shopping cart works pretty well and all that stuff so anyway when i go to bring up orders in the morning when i get to the shop there should be a bunch of orange and green dots down the right side new orders or unfulfilled orders and the green of course is orders that have been filled and shipped and one day i came in and i just didn't i knew there was new orders because i had gotten notifications on my cell phone but they just weren't showing up on the computer so i could print the order sheets out and fill the orders it was making me crazy yeah the day before i had done a search for a specific customer and their name was still in the search box up top so yeah i kind of wonder why all the last like dozen orders were from somebody named kyle yep that's probably why this happened to me back in 2007 or so i used to work tech support for a local school district and i got a call one day for an imac that wouldn't boot took a look and it was quickly realized the os was borked but the drive itself was fine i backed everything up re-imaged it and restored all data when i was done the teacher asked me so what happened well the os went corrupt not sure what happened but it's usually something like the computer coming unplugged before shutting it down properly teacher properly me yeah go to the apple menu and click on shutdown teacher oh i don't do that me uh that's probably why this happened teacher i guess that's probably why my computer at home is having problems me yep that's probably why this teacher was in her late 20s too face palm why are you grabbing a sponge in a bucket today i had a fun one that i just gotta share me thank you for calling it this is me how may i assist user hi my email says it's full me okay let's get connected we get connected and see that they had nearly 20 000 emails going back all the way to the 180 day cut off me yup that'll do it you have nearly 20 000 emails in your inbox going all the way back to september 10th you'll need to clean out your older ones user so just clean out the older emails on my computer me in your inbox yes user hey hon go grab the bucket please he said i need to watch this thing me thinking he's joking laughs he doesn't laugh back me were were you serious just now user you said to wash it 45 seconds of silence me no sir i said you need to clean out your inbox why are you grabbing a bucket user going to wash it out like you said got a sponge in a bucket me sir don't don't do that you'll ruin your pc here let me delete a few thousand old emails for you i'm gonna turn on advanced archiving tools as well to prevent your inbox from getting full silence on the line again me um i have to ask you okay user yes why would you ask that me well i was confused you said you were going to wash your laptop it's an electronic device and doing that is dangerous to you as well as will completely ruin the laptop user yeah i thought it was weird you asked me to watch it but you're right so i figured you knew your stuff he's 37. okay if the it guy said exactly what was typed then there's no possible way i could imagine that this guy could translate that in his brain to physically washing his laptop with a bucket of sponge and water or fluid of any kind he had to have been he had to have been trolling the id guy that's all i can figure my surround sound doesn't work sometimes there are simply no words me how can i help you caller yeah um my surround system at the cabin isn't working i turned my bluetooth on and plugged in both wires me okay so you're trying to get the surround sound working on the tv color no on my phone i unhook the wires and plug them into my phone and it's not working at this point i'm coming to the realization that this surround system has the old school speaker wires that are split red and black and go into two switch release splitters that you insert the red and black frayed wires into this caller is trying to place the frayed wires in his headphone jack but was sure to turn on his bluetooth first okay so that's somebody who thinks they understand how speakers work and speaker connections even so why would you just jam the end of those stranded wires into your headphone jack best case scenario you're gonna fry your uh your headphone jack i don't know what the worst case scenario would be no youtube is a 911 emergency i work as a senior on-site support tech so i get the interesting roles for this one i'm augmenting the 9-1-1 call center's internal text for additional staff and to help with cool coordinating with the rest of it i was updating one of the call taker's desks and in doing our periodic maintenance checklist while it wasn't being used the desk beside me was staffed and received this call i didn't actually look up the recording for the call so it's just paraphrased from the eco that actually took the call they went through their normal greeting and when asked for fire police or ems they said their internet was down they couldn't get to youtube after they confirmed that was what the issue was stating it back to them at which point everyone around was watching when the caller couldn't get it through that 911 wasn't for that sort of issue and they needed to call their isp they asked a normal question for a mistake call are you safe where you are are you speaking freely and when they got affirmative to them just hung up on the caller the rest of my time at that desk i got to hear some other interesting stories of calls that shouldn't have made it through it's my favorite part of working with them i get to hear the fun stories of interesting calls it just astounds me at what people will call 9114 just plug in the monitor so about two months ago we had a customer order two desktop pcs with two new in the box monitors we're a managed it company so typically we assist with installing security software joining to the domain installing basic applications push policies and such prior to delivering the machines man that's a mouthful the customer has some specialized software that they request they install and manage from their end but they wanted me to set up the rest of their software for them i did so and scheduled a time to drop off the equipment the customer was an hour away so we wanted to plan everything ahead of time we were very specific on what was to be done the plan was that i would drop off the equipment they would plug in the hardware and install their applications and then the employees needing the desktops would log into them test if they were set up correctly and then box them up and take them home long story short too late it took us just a couple of days to configure the devices and have them ready to deliver this customer was very slow at responding so it took about a week from the time they were ready to confirm they could be brought in eventually i was able to drop off the desktops at their site in the main lobby and let staff know that they were ready but it was still another two weeks until they actually tried to hook them up and install their software this is where the fun begins so the point of contact i had for these desktops was not tech savvy and and decided to have one of their administrative assistants let's call her becky who's also not all that tech savvy be tasked with setting up the desktops the guy who installs her software let's call him joe he's usually out on the road so he's not able to log in and do their installs until the desktops are hooked up and ready for him welbecki tried to set up the desktops but was adamant that they could not connect the desktops to the monitors because they needed hdmi cables the desktops used dp cables and not hdmi i let becky know that the monitors that came with the desktops had dp cables included with them and that she would just need to connect the dp cables that came with the monitors into the back of the desktops and they should work she just needs to match the shapes of the cables with the shapes of the holes i actually opened up the monitors ahead of time to confirm this prior to delivering them i hear nothing for another few days after several attempts to call and email them eventually becky tells me that she ordered hdmi cables from amazon and they would arrive in a few days i repeated that she does not need to order separate cables that the monitors come with the correct ones about a week later becky emails me with her manager copied in she sends me photos of hdmi cables in front of the back of the dp ports on the back of the desktop and says these hdmi cables we ordered do not work we need to connect these desktops i repeated to her and her manager that as stated previously the monitors that came with the desktops are new in the box and contain the correct cables she should not have needed to purchase hdmi cables the monitors came with an hdmi dp and vga cable in the box all she needs to do is match the shape of the dp cable in the box with the shape of the dp port on the back of the monitor and then plug it into the desktop our manager then chimes in stating at this point we need someone to come on site from your team to help us out with this i don't want to waste any more of becky's time on this project keep in mind it's been about a month now that they've had these desktops and in over a month they could not connect the monitors to these desktops and we're not responding to my follow-up calls part of me is amazed by how difficult they're making this setup but the other part of me wants to be a good tech and assist is they need assistance so i'm taking another trip out there an hour each way to connect the desktop to a monitor it'll take me all five minutes to plug the cable into the desktop we still need joe to set up the software on these devices so aside from plugging in the monitor there's nothing else i'm able to do at this time it's just amazing that with how many people work at their office at least a dozen people are there at any given time nobody is able to figure out how to connect the monitor and poor becky has to try and figure it out too long didn't read customer doesn't know how to match shapes or read emails so i have to drive two hours to plug in a monitor uh yeah i mean first of all why would you wait days and weeks before you call for help point number two if the tech told you what type of cable you're supposed to be using at the very least maybe get on your phone and look it up on google you know type in dp cable and see what it's all about where does it plug in everything else and sometimes you just gotta help yourself or at least follow the directions of the person that knows what to do well thanks for hanging out with me today guys if you've enjoyed this content do me a favor would you consider giving us a thumbs up subscribe to the channel and maybe click the little bell icon so you don't miss the fat guy with the beard telling you stories see it

Channel: Story Time with Uncle Reddit

Views: 9,105

Rating: 4.8865247 out of 5

Keywords: uncle reddit, reddit, reddit stories, funny reddit stories, r/idontworkherelady, r/prorevenge, r/entitledparents, funny reddit stories 2020, rslash, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, comedy, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, entitledparents, entitledparents fails, entitled parents fail, malicious compliance reddit, malicious compliance, tech support, tales from tech support reddit, funny reddit posts clean, tales from tech support

Id: Sgz6_LlsPBs

Length: 25min 45sec (1545 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 12 2021