- SUVs, you ever heard of 'em? The S stands for sport 'cause they're really good
at carrying hockey sticks. But also because they're fast as heck. Today, we're gonna look at
how ridiculously insanely fast (engine revving) sport utility vehicles have gotten. So strap on your five-point
racing harnesses, all you kiddos in that third row. I'm James, this is the
newly sentient monolist, and this show is called "The D-List." Big thanks to Off The Record
for sponsoring this episode. Oh, what was that? And you got to take it
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ticket at offtherecord.com/donut Okay, so just like the
trucks video that we did, this is not gonna be a list of every single SUV ever made, all right? We're gonna skip a few. But to appreciate how
outrageous SUV's have become, we gotta take a trip back to the 1980s. In 1984, Jeep released the XJ Cherokee. It had a unibody instead of
a body-on-frame construction, like most family haulers at the time. And because of this, SUV historians consider it to be the first modern sport utility vehicle. It wasn't even known for being fast. In fact it's slow. But I gotta put it on the
model list as a benchmark. It has zero to 60 time of (punching sounds) 10.2 Seconds. But guess what, guys? This isn't the last time you're gonna see a Jeep
Cherokee on this list, okay? Now a year after Jeep released the XJ, Lamborghini machine. Yes, the tractor company
that also makes supercars, gave the world a weird SUV truck tank car called the LM002,
AKA the Rambo Lambo. It was designed for the US military, but they never secured the contract. Always secure the contract. That's business 101. They ditched the original
engine meant for the military and swapped in the same
V12 from the Countach. Saddam Hussein's son had one, and it was blown up by American troops. But if it didn't blow up, it would have gone zero
to 60 in 7.7 seconds. Not fast, but fast, considering
it weighs 6,000 pounds. Now the LM002 was probably
the most ridiculous SUV to come out of the eighties. But, the nineties were about
to get (mumbling) baby. By this point, a lot more
car makers were making SUVs and they were beginning
to drizzle some sweet, sweet horse milk all over 'em. So, let's talk about what
Mitsubishi was doing. Mitsubishi made an SUV called the Montero, except in Japan, it was called the Pajero. Pajero? And they decided to take their Pajero? Racing at Dakar. That's the race, not the club. Which meant that they had to
sell a road legal version, for homologation. The Pajero Evolution. It was a two-door four wheel drive, Evo SUV with box fenders and
fins on the fricking roof. This is one of my favorite
vehicles of all times. It's absolutely bonkers ass. The six G74 got it up
to 60 in 8.2 seconds. It's fast, when you consider that it was designed
to drive on sand dunes. Have you ever even tried
to walk up a sand dune? It's hard. This next one is one of my
favorites on the whole list. The Dodge Durango SP360. This was the last collaboration
Carol Shelby had with Dodge. It's a first-generation Durango. I.e. the one that looks
like a kangaroo's head. It's got a 5.9 liter Magnum V8 and a supercharger
spitting out 360 herspers. Hence the name 360. Only 300 of them were ever made. The zero to 60 time for
this big old kangaroo head, is six points (laughs) (screams) 6.7 seconds. Now another Chrysler brand that used that same 5.9 liter Magnum V8 was, Jeep in the 1998 Jeep
Grand Cherokee, AKA the ZJ. People who drive these limited
edition ZJs are diehard fans, and they get scooped up really quickly whenever they go on sale. It didn't have a supercharger, but still put down a respectable, 6.8 seconds, zero to 60 times. But don't worry. This isn't the last Jeep
you'll see on this list. Now Saleen. Saleen, is known for fooling
around on them old Mustangs. But what a lot of people don't
know is that they also made a souped up Ford Explorer in
the nineties called the XP8. It had a body kit, carbon
fiber hood, Recaro seats. And most importantly, for this list, a super charged five-liter V8. A super charged five-liter V8. A super charged five-liter V8. ♪ A super charged five-liter V8 ♪ XP8 can scoot from zero to 60 in, 6.7 seconds. Three seconds faster than a stock Explorer
of the same generation. Now the XP8 was fast, but even though it came at
the end of the nineties, it wasn't even the fastest
SUV of that decade. Now, that honor of course goes to, the GMC Typhoon. The coolest car named after a wave. This SUV version of the Cyclone with an S blew people away when it came
out in the early nineties. It wasn't quite as fast
as the Cyclone because it weighed a couple hundred pounds more, but it could still get
up to 60 in 5.3 seconds. That's in 1992. That's fast as heck. Hit that like button if you
think that's fast as heck. Okay, we're done with the nineties. We're in the 2000s. Cars were getting faster and a lot of those performance
enhancing technologies started trickling down or up, depending on how you look at it, into the fastly growing SUV market. This, ladies and gentlemen is when things start to get insane. Mercedes got the decade
started off with the ML55 AMG, which went from zero
to 60 in, 6.5 seconds. Then Infiniti came out
of nowhere with the FX45, which could do zero to 60 in, 6.3 Seconds. On 20 inch wheels, standard. This is the 350Z of SUV's. Then BMW is like, "Hold my beer in a boot." And they dropped the X5 4.8is. Zero to 60 in a very
German six seconds flat. And I would like to point
out that the Typhoon, is still on the top of the list, just like his brother, cousin, the Cyclone with an S. But it wouldn't hold
the throne for very long because in 2006, this thing came out. The PP car Cayenne turbo S. Porsche gave the world a
twin turbo V8, Cayenne, that went zero to 60, in an absolutely, whopping for the time, five seconds. A full second faster
than anything that BMW was making at the time, and kicking the Typhoon off of the wave throne, and saying, "You know what? I know this used to be a wave kingdom. But now it's a pepper kingdom." And I think that this is
a good time to mention that while SUVs are getting faster, they're also getting more luxurious. And that means more expensive. The Cayenne Turbo S, costs $112,000. Back in America, our friends over at GM were putting together a
more budget friendly SUV. An SUV that I like to call
the Chevy Trailblazer SS. I've talked about the
Chevy Trailblazer SS, a bunch on this show. And for good reason, all right? This guy got an LS2 making
almost 400 horsepower. And that was good enough
to send it to 60 in, 5.6 seconds. It's a half second slower
than the Porsche, but, it's also $75,000 cheaper. Now it would be irresponsible of me to not mention the 2006
Grand Cherokee SRT8. The 6.1 liter Hemi made
420 (mumbles) horsepower, and sending this bad
boy to 60 miles per hour in a suburb shattering, 4.8 Seconds. And I'm gonna let you guys
in on a little secret. This is not the last Jeep
Cherokee on this list. Audi also entered the
SUV ring in the 2000s. And by far their weirdest
and coolest one yet was the V12, diesel powered Q7. It made 500 horsepower, and
738 foot pounds of torque. And to show everyone how cool it was, Audi towed a fricking jet with it. (container clattering) Without the jet and went from
zero to 60 in 5.5 seconds. But you know what? Mercedes was sick of not being the fastest SUV on the model list, okay? They called me and they're
like, "What do we need to do?" I was like, "You need to
be, you need to beat Jeeps." So what did they do about it? They did the AMG ML63 about it, okay? AMG tuned the 6.3 liter
V8 to 500 herspers. This thing is the ultimate sleeper and it can scoot to 60 in 4.5 seconds. "Dear Jeep Grand Cherokee, I know you're not the last
Cherokee on this list, but for now F you," that's what they said. They literally, that
was the press release. The last fast SUV from the
first decade of the 2000s is made by a tuning
company called Gemballa. They made all those crazy wide body BMWs and Porsches in the eighties, and they also made a custom six series for Saddam Hussein's son. I just did a podcast about
Saddam Hussein's son's cars. So that's where a lot
of my references are at. So in 2009, they decided
to mess with PP cars again. And they released the Tornado 750 GTS. Huh, sounds familiar. Kinda like your brother,
the Cyclone within S. This thing is a sickening
looking Porsche Cayenne Turbo with stats cranked to the max. Gemballa stripped 550 pounds
from the stock Cayenne and bumped the horsepower up to 750. This resulted in a zero to 60 time of, 4.3 Seconds. So now we're in the 2010s, and things are about to
get fricking stupid, okay? We're starting to see zero to
60 times from trucks and SUV's that are similar to the supercar times from the early nineties. The Range Rover Sport Supercharged, or as I like to call it the, RR SS, put down a respectful zero
to 60 time, of 4.6 seconds. Not bad, not record-breaking, but D's. Porsche messed around with
the Cayenne a little bit, and got it down to 4.3 seconds. Think that's fast? You can call that fast? Well, German tuning house called G-Power, put their hands on BMW X5M in 2012, and upped it to 730 herspers, resulting in a zero to 60 time of, 4.2 seconds, that's faster. And it's called the Typhoon. Sound familiar? Why are fast SUVs named after
tornadoes and big waves? And pepper? (rock music) Enter a new competitor, with a simultaneously
funny and terrifying name, the Bowler Nemesis. And that's also what
I call my (indistinct) Just like the Pajero we
talked about earlier, it was made for Dakar. And it's supercharged
five-liter V8 sends it to see, sends it to 60, in 3.9 seconds. Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially entered the threes. Why? I don't know. Maybe Connor needs to get
to lacrosse practice faster. Why? And we're gonna stay in the threes. Because the Audi RS Q8, we gave one of these away
with Omaze a while back. I got to drive it, and it was fun. You know why it was fun? 'Cause it does zero to 60 in 3.8 seconds. I don't know why. But that wasn't good enough, okay? Because these German dudes at
a tunic somebody called ABT, legendary Volkswagen tuner. Audis or Volkswagen. They were like, "That's not fast enough. It also does not have enough letters." So they created the ABT RS Q8 R, which can go zero to 60, I don't know, 3.4 seconds. Why not, let's do it. And speaking of
ostentatious German tuners, you ever heard of Brabus? Yes, of course, you have. Brabus has a version of
the Mercedes G Wagon, a car that has no business
going fast at all. It is a shoe box. They call it the Brabus
900 Rocket Edition G63. And for only $680,000, you can bump your G Wagon
up to 900 horsepower. And you get a little red spoiler too. This thing can go zero
to 60, in 3.7 seconds. Hmm, it doesn't seem worth it. I mean, at this point, literally everyone is making fast SUVs. I'm talking, Maserati
Levante Trofeo, 3.5 seconds. Jaguar F-Pace SVR, 3.7 seconds. Some of you aren't gonna
like this one, but, I have to include the Mustang
Mach-E Performance Edition. This electric pony SUV is easily, the most controversial
entry onto this list. But, you can't fight numbers, dude, because it goes zero to 60
in a very dece, 3.5 Seconds. Oh yeah, you knew this was coming 'cause I freaking told you. It's a frickin, Hellcat
powered, Jeep Grand Cherokee. Why not? Why, no, why not? How fast is it? Zero to 60, 3.5 seconds. But, this isn't the last Jeep
you're gonna see on this list. It's also not the last Hellcat, because the next car is the
Dodge SRT Hellcat Durango. (engine revving) Basically a scarier more muscular
version of the Track Hawk. And it goes zero to 60 in, an absolutely pointless 3.4 seconds. What are you gonna freaking
go to Home Depot so fast for? And we're still not done. Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio. No, it's not just the pasta. 3.2 seconds. What? Big bags busing outta Bentley
Bentleyagas, 3.1 seconds. Why? Now speaking of cars that Cardi B owns, Lamborghini machine Urus. The four-liter twin turbo V8
propels this bull up to 60 in, I don't know, numbers aren't
real, three seconds flat. I don't, why? Now this is the last SUV we
have in three-second range. So put on your helmet, 'cause things are about to get kooky. 'Cause you know what comes after three. Two. The first SUV to break
into the two-second tier, is the 2020 Tesla Model X P90D, with a 2.7 seconds zero to 60 time. I've driven one of these,
it's other worldly. Tesla says that the new
Model X Plaid Edition, will do 2.5 seconds, but until Elon can actually prove it, staying 2.7. Although, the Model S Plaid is now like the fastest car in the world. So, what's the point of even
doing any of this anymore? Who cares? Now, our next fastest SUV is made by a Bay Area
tuning shop called KarTunz, with a K and a Z. Now they took a boring
old Lamborghini Urus and added about 100 more horsepower, resulting in a zero to
60 time of 2.7 seconds, tying the Model S but I'm gonna say, "Hey, shake your hand 'cause
it makes grumbled noises." Now guys, if you saw the truck episode,
you knew this was coming. There's something that
we gotta talk about. And that thing is not
only my favorite drink, but a company that makes very fast cars. I'm talking Hennessy. Hennessy offers a few, ridiculously fast SUVS. They got a Suburban, they got a Tahoe, they got a Yukon, they got a Durango, they got a 600 horsepower
Lincoln Navigator. They even have an SUV
version of the rapture, but, the number one fastest
SUV offered by Hennessy, and also the number one
fastest SUV in the world, as of the date of shooting this, June, - [Guy] 24th.
- 24th, 2021, is, the Hennessy HPE1000. (engine revving) This thing is 1,000-horsepower
Hellcat-powered, Jeep Grand Cherokee Track Hawk. And as the name suggests,
it's got a lot of horsepower. 1012 to be exact. Hennessy upgraded and machined a bunch of performance parts for the already insane Hellcat engine, like an upgraded supercharger,
headers, injectors. All of those upgrades result
in a totally unnecessary, mind-boggling, zero to 60 time of, (engine revving) 2.6 seconds. Why though, huh? What? Why? Like what are we doing guys? And that, is the last Jeep, that you're gonna see on this list. For now. Thanks for watching. If you haven't already, hit that like button,
it really helps us out. You guys ask us about our cars a lot and if you wanna learn
more about some of them, check out this week's video
on the Donut Underground. That's where we post a lot of stuff that really doesn't make sense
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in the description. I mean, (beep) guys, I love you. (guy laughs) They all stuck.
