HARVEY. YOU GIVE OUT A LOT OF LOVE ADVICE, RELATIONSHIP ADVICE ON YOUR TELEVISION SHOW. WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE AN EXPERT IN THAT FIELD? >> WELL, I'M NOT -- YOU KNOW, I'M NOT AN EXPERT ON LOVE. I'M AN EXPERT ON HOW MEN THINK ABOUT LOVE. >> Jimmy: THAT MAKES SENSE. >> THAT'S WHAT I'M ABLE TO GIVE WOMEN. THE MALE PERSPECTIVE. I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT WOMEN. ANY MAN THAT KNOWS ABOUT WOMEN AND CAN WRITE THAT BOOK WOULD BE A BILLIONAIRE COME TUESDAY. YEAH. THAT'S JUST NOT -- BUT YEAH, MAN. YOU KNOW, LIKE VALENTINE'S DAY AND STUFF LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: IT'S COMING UP THIS WEEK. HOW DO YOU CELEBRATE? >> ONE DAY, FEBRUARY 14TH. DON'T GET SUCKED INTO THAT. I'M DOING IT THE WHOLE WEEK. NO, IT'S ONE DAY. IT'S FEBRUARY 14TH. WE DOING IT TODAY. GET IT ALL IN. HERE'S THE SECRET TO VALENTINE'S DAY. >> Jimmy: I'M OPEN. I WANT TO HEAR IT. >> WHATEVER YOU DO, FLOWERS, CANDY, SHOWING UP, IT HAS TO BE DONE WITH A PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION. IF YOU SEND HER FLOWERS TO THE JOB, IT'S GOT TO BE IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF WOMEN. IF YOU SEND CANDY IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF WOMEN, IF YOU GO DOWN TO THE JOB, SPEAK TO ALL THE WOMEN FIRST. LET THEM KNOW YOU THERE. THEN GO PICK YOUR GIRL UP. YOU GET MORE POINTS WHEN YOU DO IT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. IT CARRIES OVER. >> Jimmy: 100% RIGHT. >> THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. >> Jimmy: AND THAT'S YOU UNDERSTANDING THE WOMEN'S PERSPECTIVE. MOST GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT. THE FIRST TIME I WAS MARRIED, I SAID TO MY EX-WIFE, LISTEN, KEYWORD BEING EX. >> I NOTICED HOW YOU PUT THAT IN THERE, AND I'M PAYING ATTENTION, BECAUSE I HAVE TWO OF THOSE. MO >> Jimmy: WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY. I SAID I'M GOING TO GROW SOME ROSES IN THE YARD, AND THEN [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY -- >> YOU SAID THAT? >> Jimmy: I SAID YEAH, I'LL CLIP THEM AND PUT THEM IN THE THING. SHE'S LIKE ABSOLUTELY NOT. >> WHEN DID YOU THINK THE ROSES WAS GOING TO BECOME ROSES? WAS YOU GOING TO TIME THAT AROUND VALENTINE'S DAY? >> Jimmy: I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW HOW SEEDS WORKED AT THE TIME. >> VALENTINE'S DAY IS REALLY IN THE WINTER. >> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT. BUT IN FAIRNESS, I WAS LIVING IN ARIZONA, SO IT IS WITHIN THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY. >> THAT'S WHY YOU DIVORCED. RIGHT THERE. >> Jimmy: THAT'S IN A NUTSHELL WHY. >> I DID STUPID STUFF LIKE THAT MYSELF. >> Jimmy: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THAT YOU LEARNED NEVER TO DO AGAIN? >> ARGUE. >> Jimmy: YOU DON'T ARGUE AT ALL? >> NO. ME AND MY WIFE, WE DON'T HAVE ARGUMENTS. >> Jimmy: NEVER? >> NO, MAN. WELL -- LOOK, WE HAVE ARGUMENTS, BUT THEY'RE NOT, LIKE BACK AND FORTH. THERE'S NONE OF THAT. IT'S I WON'T TO DO THAT, AND IT'S YOU GONNA DO THAT, AND I'M LIKE OKAY, COOL THEN. AND THAT'S THE ARGUMENT. >> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW IT GOES. >> THAT'S IT. >> Jimmy: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED NOW? >> THIS THEREBY 13 YEARS. >> Jimmy: A GOOD, LONG TIME. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD. >> I'VE BEEN MARRIED A TOTAL, THOUGH, OF 35 YEARS. I WANT CREDIT. WHEN I GET UP TO THE PEARLY GATES I WANT THE LORD TO GIVE ME CREDIT FOR TRYING. >> Jimmy: HERE'S SOMETHING I THINK YOU'LL GET CREDIT FOR. SPEAKING OF YOUR SHOW, YOU WERE TALKING TO YOUR AUDIENCE DURING THE WARMUP. AND THERE WERE A COUPLE GOING TO TEXAS ON VACATION, AND YOU LET THEM STAY AT YOUR HOUSE WHILE THEY WERE THERE. >> YEAH. THAT KIND OF -- THAT -- IT JUST JUMPED OUT. YOU KNOW HOW YOU SAY SOMETHING. AS SOON AS YOU SAY IT, YOU WANT IT BACK? BUT IT WAS A NICE COUPLE. THEY HAD A REALLY BIG FAMILY. AND THEY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHOSE HOUSE TO GO TO FOR THE HOLIDAYS BECAUSE THEY WERE MARRIED. AND THEY HAD BIG FAMILIES. NEITHER ONE OF THEM HAD A HOUSE BIG ENOUGH TO ACCOMMODATE BOTH FAMILIES. I GOT A RANCH WHERE THERE WE HARDLY EVER GO TOO. I SAID I HAVE A RANCH -- THEY SAID WOW, WE KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THAT IS. AND SO I LET THEM USE MY HOUSE. >> Jimmy: FOR REAL? >> YEAH. THEY WAS IN MY HOUSE. THEY FILMED IT. IT WAS GOING REAL NICE UNTIL I SAW THESE TWO LITTLE WHITE KIDS IN MY BATHTUB. YOU KNOW, I'M 62. I'M FROM A TIME WHEN TWO LITTLE WHITE KIDS IN YOUR BATHTUB WAS PRISON. AND I GOT A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT THAT. I JUST -- I WAS NERVOUS WATCHING IT. THEY WAS HAVING A BLAST. AND I WAS IN THERE SWEATING PRETTY HARD. Y'ALL CAN'T RELATE TO THAT. YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M COMING FROM. TRUST ME. IT WAS A BUTT CLENCHING MOMENT FOR ME. >> Jimmy: WELL, IT'S ALWAYS A GREAT PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU HERE. >> Jimmy: STEVE HARVEY! "STEVE" AIRS
