Steve Allen on The David Letterman Show, October 23, 1980

[Music] [Applause] [Music] welcome back to the show what fun we're having this morning and my first guest is an author composer performer singer and comedian who has taken it upon himself to write a book explaining China ladies and gentlemen please welcome a real thrill for me to have him here Steve Allen [Applause] okay what do you want to do well the first the first thing I should do I was struck as we say I was struck yes by a stagehand on the way of it I was struck by your your instruction of this picture into evidence your honor yes and this was the man who's doing research into how Ducks make out that's right actually that this picture does not substantiate the thesis this is foreplay and we're not permitted on television at least at this time to do anything much now that I think of it yeah I'm real excited you here this morning but I'll be running along should be no excitement at 10:00 in the morning here one of those one of those oh yeah give that a shot well I did star in the bidding goodman story yeah so who's better qualified than to play one of these there's only one finger what does it say on there made in Japan what is this I'll give it a shot [Applause] [Music] all for Elizabeth Taylor let me see I would ask you about the Tonight Show you started the whole thing you're the reason we got a desk here you're the reason that talk shows are what they are today what was that like the very first Tonight Show we had no idea that it was you know going to go on and be a 27-year thing it was just too you know but in the case with your own show you're just trying to be funny each day and that was all we ever thought of as a matter of fact you can't even look back at it with any great attention because the network burned as you probably have heard just about all the old kinescope film it had running from about 1949 to about 1956 or so so all those three years are gone yes does that bother you that that's just well I'm so busy right now it doesn't but as soon as my schedule slacks up a little bit I'll get bothered again by that yeah and you did the original Tonight Show for five years right three years three years seemed like five and then Jack Paar did it for five years five years between like three [Laughter] and then mr. Carson has done it now for 18 years yeah oh you were the shortest one in the bunch so to speak in terms of years why why did you leave it after three well I asked me to do and I did a primetime comedy show and I thought I could do both at the same time and for a while I did but I couldn't do justice to either Irbil so I realized that at in prime time I had about ten times as many people watching and the salary was eight times as large so it was an easy decision to make to give up yeah what about now the show that I remember mostly and love a great deal is the the Westinghouse show in the early 60s yeah and it seemed to me that you're always doing very peculiar things on that show yes when the writers should have been writing jokes for me they were concocting plots on my life I think some of those things were actually dangerous and I was upon occasion moderately injured and frequently scared as hell what was was one of them the human key bag were you near tell him about the human teabag there was no physical danger in being the human teabag only hideous embarrassment I was attired as I am at the moment in fact this is the same suit no I would the whole point was to be dressed like a gentleman of some kind and then have to I was covered with little teabags I had to jump into about eighty nine gallons of hot water imagine a grown man yeah I started groaning it's a matter then during all that did your kids say you come home from the show you said geez dad a human teabag layoff William they refused to speak to me for those three years one of the things that I remember vividly and one of the things that I had just loved and in fact we did a version of it here one day you put a camera outside and you just look at the folks walking by yeah and I guess you did that the first yeah yeah in fact we did it to last Saturday I'm doing as you know some comedy things for NBC right now and we we did that as part of the show and I loved your version of it which was brilliantly creative I saw it I don't know two or three weeks ago where you you shot the people on the street and then refer to it as a fashion chat a fashion that really funny now reached oh we have we have a camera this morning down on I believe 6th Avenue unless it's been stolen if you don't mind could you just comment if you need a little piano with this dude yes at least it helps you know the great value of the piano is otherwise people notice the silences there's a man though seems to have heard what I just said he's smiling [Applause] he's not too bright East he doesn't know the war is over he's still tearing up his draft card it's brisk out today yeah yeah that's why people look purposeful where is that sixth and well which I see it's right in your data just looking it right barakatuh or Radio City Music oh yeah yeah there is old white pants again you know I always thought that this this would make great late night TV you just let this thing go seriously i one of my fantasies is having my own TV station and you know Terre Haute Indiana or someplace and doing stuff like that well I think you could also have a family that would come out at midnight or and just just to spend the night on television I don't mean entertain I just mean you know go to bed brush their teeth hi sweetheart you know the great thing about this as you perceive davidís you don't really have to see anything very witty it's the people the situation the reality that's right we have to pause for a commercial with any luck at all we'll be back though [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] his most recent book explaining China which we'll get to in a second so hurry I appreciate your doing that you know because you go on some shows and literally the hosts do this no names please they say Steve Allen has a new book and I think there's something else you may be interested in the Monday the gameshow start and they've already started loading up some of the equipment I do it speaking of the world of game shows I have some sad news Johnny Olsen who you know has been on a lot of them he's now working out in Los Angeles with the ASPCA whenever there's a cat stuff and they stuck up in a tree he else come on [Applause] presidents 420 arc we have a great audience here [Music] interesting thing the interesting thing about them is not that just a good audience which is nice you know selfishly speaking for us but they are all of a type they're all hip young people out of work I can sort of relate to that I want too we brought you brought some videotape from the old show that we alluded to and do you mind taking a look at this with us no I have nothing else through the next few minutes this is I do you know what we're gonna look at its the somebody mentioned the the human comin kite this is now this was an opening to one of your shows yeah this was how it was every night typically I did some stupid thing of this sort and I was quite prepared to fly on this occasion but I had difficulty getting airborne so this take a look at the monitors mr. Steve Allen flying they got airport [Music] over the coffee shop and directly into the Los Angeles General Hospital I'm ready to go John I'll give you the pledges if I may well back up here [Music] birds [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right there was I recall and I don't mean to dwell on it but I do mean to dwell on it is I love this stuff that you had one time yourself covered with ants and then some ant eaters released yes it was something a couple of my uncle's dreamed up actually no all seriousness decide I was in a sketch I think with I know Pat Harrington jr. and I was wearing a pith helmet and Stewart Granger wardrobe and I was spread-eagled that if you've ever had your bingo spread you hop in Valletta anyway I was helpless prone prostrate at the same time and then somewhat guy came out with a jar full of real big ants and poured them all over me and I couldn't anything about that and then they brought out an anteater and he ate the ants off me [Music] listen don't knock it onto the Friday the most exciting moments of my life we have to take another short break and then we'll come back [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you very much and that's the sound of music no it's not the sound of music that is really that's really what you call toe tapping mute whenever I hear that music I take out a small hammer and tap my toes now you've got the serious up here you brought this book let's talk about the book explaining China I started reading this yesterday voluminous yeah and tell me what tell me all about it we have two minutes tell me all about this voluminous book well first of all the if I may point out that the title explaining China has quotation marks around it the point of that is it would take a thousand books to explain China has a five thousand year history it's larger than the United States almost a million people and who could explain that in one book but I take a shot at it what do you do there what was it like how long were you there answer any of those questions still great you put on weight that's one thing you do there and you learn a lot you don't go to China for the same reasons that you might go to Vegas you know but since everything you see there is unlike the stuff you're used to seeing you spend all day going Wow imagine this is it like when you when you go to a new city its stimulating view is the same experience but yeah it's truly a learning experience and if you plan to go there as millions are now trying to do read something for it I don't care if you read this book but do read something first otherwise it will be very strange to you is it are they friendly yes Chinese well the Chinese of the political left or right have thousands of years practice at being wonderful hosts and be given the most cordial welcome and when the I read recently where the posters and and so forth are now being removed and it's it's a less political atmosphere yes it is the boundaries of freedom are being enlarged by no means as free as Cleveland but a lot freer than they were there just a few years ago as a matter of fact there are some just little pictures we brought along here we don't have time to go into the whole thing which is your best the camera for close-up right whatever this is how there it is this is my son bill standing near a no loitering sign in the Forbidden City he was forbidden to stand there any longer that's why they call it that anyway that's one picture then here we have in this sari on this I'm conducting a class and smiling I seem to be the only one having a good time and this is James mothers and fathers Church this picture was taken probably about 1930 that's their church in the background behind the high wall st. Andrews in wushan and somebody in the park [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] welcome back to the show our special guest this morning is mr. Steve Allen first of all let me apologize for head dumping on you like that I knew nothing about it not all no problem as matter of fact on your head that becomes you it took Johnny 18 years to get like that and you made it in about 20 minutes anyway I want to thank you very much for being here Steve thank you David I've been a big fan of yours forever and it's mutual you come on my show soon [Applause] [Music] [Applause] very nice man very nice man and I appreciate his a sense of being a good sport I however am steamed about this whole development well welcome back to the show coming up later in this half-hour a dog trainers Warren and Faye Eckstein will be here with what I believe is gonna be a fascinating display they got a great dog he's a black Labrador is that correct and real interesting you know Halloween is just around the corner but then again what isn't just around the corner and all the stores are featuring this year's Halloween merchandise we thought we'd like to take a look at some of the popular trends in Halloween where this year we went out shopping and found a few little devices first of all this little article here's something that a lot of you ladies will want to rush out and buy according to the advertisement as seen on TV you look 1,000 years old in minutes for all of us who are trying to speed up the aging process okay number two oh this is nice oh this is cute this is the badly battered brutally bruised bashed and bloody digit for age eight and over seven-year olds are generally too sensitive and I understand you actually have to show proof of age to buy one of these things this is useful for the kid who wants to dress up as an emergency room patient this is this is sort of nice a freak beak says it's easy to apply and comfortable how many of your own noses just aren't as comfortable as you'd like and again you must be eight and over let me try this on [Laughter] well that is comfortable put a little snow in this huh no no we're just joking around here you start doing that kind of stuff and you get yourself cancelled our announcer now tomorrow is our last show on the show tomorrow we will have the we will have the David Letterman family of the air as our guests on the show tomorrow and you should watch it I think it'll be a lot of fun thanks for being here today have a pleasant afternoon receiver [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] join me for Las Vegas gambit that's where contestants beat the house if they play their cards right and I'm next with great cash prices on blockbusters and Chuck Lorre gets players to spin on the wheel of fortune and the password is top stars as they play password plus followed by card sharks so get in the game all of them starting Monday October 27th [Music]

Channel: Don Giller

Views: 85,859

Rating: 4.8712997 out of 5

Keywords: The David Letterman Show, Steve Allen

Id: E1a5veXNiFU

Length: 19min 54sec (1194 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 15 2016