Somebody's awfully quiet
back there. I'm not gonna call him Dad. Brennan, you're 39 years old I would not expect you
to call him Dad. Well, I'm not going to, ever.
Even if there's a fire. Robert better not get in my face... ...because I'll drop
that motherfucker. Jesus, Brennan. I'm just saying, I think
you gotta think about your options. I know that you are
technically married now... ...but that does not mean
that they have to live here. Dale, I think it's time for a change
for both of us. Dad, we're men, okay? That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open.
We talk about pussy. We go on riverboat-gambling trips.
We make our own beef jerky. That's what we do.
And now that is all wrecked. We literally have never done
any of those things. Where did he go to medical school? He went to Northwestern
and Johns Hopkins. - Is that good enough for you?
- No, it's not. Well, Brennan, those are
very prestigious schools. I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins. You don't know anyone
named Johnny Hopkins. It was Johnny Hopkins
and Sloan Kettering... ...and they were
blazing that shit up every day. All right, here's a scenario
for you, Dad. Suppose Nancy sees me
coming out of the shower... ...and decides to come on to me.
I'm looking good. I've got a luscious V of hair... ...going from my chest pubes
down to my ball-fro. And she takes one look at me,
and she goes: "Oh, my God. I've had the old bull,
now I want the young calf." - And she grabs me by the wiener.
- Shut the fuck up! - Come on, Brennan.
- I'm fine here. - There you are.
- Hi. Oh, you look so cute
in your moving clothes. - How was it?
- It was easy. The movers did everything. Where's Brennan? He's still in the car. It was kind of a rough drive. Hey, Robert,
what's all the commotion? - Hey, Don.
- Is that your wife, Nancy? - Right here, Don.
- Can I come over this afternoon... ...and touch your face?
- Sure. Thanks. Good luck, guys. We'll see you, Don. Let's go, Cinnamon.
Heel, Cinnamon. Heel! Cinnamon! Cinnamon! Hi, Dale. Hey, Nancy. Could you make me
a grilled-cheese sandwich? - Sure.
- No. Dale just ate. He's testing you to see
how much he can get away with. - I see.
- I'm hungry. Look in your right hand. - I sure don't mind a bit. I really don't.
- No, no. No, no. He's fine. Hey. Hey. I'm Brennan. I'm Dale. But you have to call me Dragon. You have to call me Nighthawk. Brennan. Please don't do that. Now, that's enough ketchup.
Come on. Dale. - I like it.
- That's enough. Dale, I don't know if you... You might wanna try this. I make
a sauce, we call it "fancy sauce"... For me. - that Brennan really likes
with his chicken nuggets. It's my fancy sauce. Well, when Brennan finishes,
I'll give you some of this, and it's... It's ketchup and mayonnaise
mixed together, so... It's so good. - I want some fancy sauce.
- Yeah. - I'm not done using it.
- Looks good. - Can I have fancy sauce?
- Of course. Of course. - I'm using it right now.
- Okay. - So let's just let him try some.
- You wanna try it, Dale? Yeah, I really would like some. Just one last spoonful. Hey, I think you've got
enough there, Brennan. - So here you go.
- Thanks. It's ketchup and mayonnaise. - I don't like it. It smells weird.
- Okay. - I'll try some.
- You want some? - Sure. Absolutely.
- Okay. You don't mind, do you, Brennan?
No. Okay. - Brennan...
- I'm not comfortable... It's okay. It's probably
not good on fish anyway. My dad's king of the castle, so if he
wants fancy sauce, he should... - No, it's all right, Dale.
- He can make his own batch. So you know what? Today, when you were driving around,
Dale was telling me that he's really... ...into kung fu, and I was telling him
that you're really into kung fu as well. I have a green belt. ead it and weep. I don't believe in belts. There should be no
ranking system for toughness. But one time I wrestled a giraffe
to the ground with my bare hands. That's not true, Dale.
Don't be ridiculous. So, Dale, what have you been
working on recently? Well... ...I manage a baseball team. - Little League?
- Fantasy league. Take a picture. It'll last longer. Why don't you stop
being so confrontational, Dale? I'm not the one staring at me. So, Brennan, how about you? I know you used to
work at PetSmart. - That's right, Mr. Doback.
- Call me Robert. - That's right, Robin.
- Robert. Robin. Actually, Brennan
is a really talented person. He's a very gifted singer. - I'm really, really good.
- How good? I've been called
the songbird of my generation... ...by people who've heard me. That good. The only trick is
is that Brennan's very... ...particular about
who he sings in front of, so... I'm his mom, for example,
I've only heard him sing twice. That's funny that you say that,
because I can sing too. n fact, I'll sing right now. If you wanna get down
On these hairy balls - Hey!
- Why don't you jump right in? It's a crotch party right up in here - Stop it!
- Why don't you lick on this big joint? Stop it, Dale! Stop it! Stop it! That's cute. Remember when I had my first beer. That's so funny,
the last time I heard that... ...I laughed so hard
I fell off my dinosaur. Stop right now. All right?
Let's just back off. All right. Brennan, it's okay.
It's okay. Hey, hey. - Great, Dale.
- He said a mean thing first. l right, just...
Look, you know what...? Hey, guys. Okay, sleeping arrangements.
It's gonna be different... ...but because Dale refuses
to give up his office drum set... ...that means that, Brennan, you and
Dale are gonna have to share a room. - But it's just temporary.
- Mom, we didn't talk about this. Well, it's gonna be
an exciting adventure. You wanna show him the room, Dale?
Show him where he can put his stuff? - That's nice, thank you.
- Good night, Nancy. Hey, listen, I like to have
a lot of fresh fruit around... ...and chocolate chips
in my pancakes. Okay? - Write it so you don't forget.
- Show him the room. She's Mom now, so... - Good night, Mom.
- Good night, Brennan. - Good night, Mr. Doback.
- Good night, Brennan. So just a few basic rules
about the house. If there's any foods that you like... ...I suggest you put your name
on them, or they will be thrown out. y me. House was built in 1825
by General Custer. I wanna show you this room. Hold up. - You see this room?
- Yeah. Okay, here's the deal. This is my office
and my beat laboratory. Okay? And this is the one rule of the house: Don't ever, ever, ever... ...touch my drum set. - You understand?
- Don't go in there and... - No touching!
- All right! There. I was at about six there. You don't wanna see me go to 10. Get your shit.
We're going to my room.
