Staff Favorite Moments: Writer Dave Rygalski | Letterman

hi I'm Dave Rogowski my Late Night with David Letterman career began in 1984 as an intern and got hired on the writing staff in 1989. you may recognize me from my nightly appearances in the opening Montage where I played guy reading newspaper in parking garage back then as an intern I was a skinny kid with a mustache and I looked like I might have been in the military so I was cast in a bit as a member of the Blue Angels and we got to demonstrate our aerobatic skills in the studio now this was one of my favorite sometimes guests oh I'm sorry I didn't see the period this is one of my favorites sometimes guests have funny ideas about what they should be have funny ideas about what they should do on the show and well let's watch funny ideas about what they should do okay we're back with the Blue Angels now Colonel I understand you brought some film of some of the amazing aerobatic stunts you and your men perform in the sky um no I didn't I thought we were gonna get the chance well I thought it might be more interesting if we demonstrated some of those stunts here in the studio live for you flight group assemble Delta formation peel off on my signal one two three I got a lot of Face Time on the show I was in a who asked for it where I got to ask Dave if I could come sit at his desk yes sir what can I do for you this may sound kind of strange but I'm a pretty big fan of yours and I've always wondered what it's like to be like you could I come down to your desk and sit down uh well sir you know obviously for security purposes we can't let you come right down here to the desk but if if you really want to see what it's like to be me I think I think we can arrange that for just a second if you'll just look at the monitor sir I think there's something we can do for you okay just if you're continuing to look at the monitor [Music] there you go [Applause] the show went to uh Chicago for a week that trip was momentous for me I came up with the voting casket it actually even made the Chicago Sun Times I was sitting on a stage and Steve O'Donnell sat next to me and said well this seems like a pretty good time to tell you we're hiring you as a writer here's a joke that's going to make you happy you waited in the rain this this is the baby that makes it all worthwhile here tonight this is why you're going to race home and write it down in your Diaries it's all here uh this invention is a godsend to those Chicago citizens who like to stay involved with local politics yes it's the vote casting casket Marv Albert was often booked as a last minute guest if somebody happened to cancel it happened so often that they had a bit about it where the idea was that Marv was in a glass case that said break in case of emergency during rehearsal I played Marv and they were going through the rest of the jokes and I knew Dave was coming and I was thinking what's he going to say to me what's he going to say and I figured out exactly what he was going to say he came up to the booth and he said hey Mark you got enough air in there and I said yes and it made Dave laugh that they put it in a script Dear Dave from time to time a guest of yours shows up late and sometimes not at all how do you Rectify this do you have like a plan b or something sincerely Michael Rowe New York New York uh good question Mike and you've really put your finger on one of the biggest hazards we Face doing this show it presents quite a problem when a scheduled guest does not show up fortunately however we are prepared for that kind of an emergency here let me show you what the contingency is walk right over here back here if a guest doesn't show up we just we just come back here and we just bust open this case you see and Marv Albert is ready in case of no show break glass and Marv Albert we get the accident do you have enough air air in there Marv okay apparently has enough air in there one of the bits that really stretched my acting abilities was a cold close it was a parody of a Budweiser commercial that involved an Amish guy whose buggy had broke down every night David Letterman and Paul Schaefer take the same road home from work only this time they went a little out of their way what's this hi need some help foreign [Music] [Music] [Applause] Hey where's my wallet huh hey free [Applause] Chris Elliott did a parody of the Chorus Line commercial that was running and he cast me as one of the dancers remember the first time you saw A Chorus Line well the faces may have changed but One Thing Remains the Same the best musical then is the best musical Now and Forever on Broadway job oh God now starring Teen Beats hunk of the month Chris Elliott A Chorus Line now before my biggest recurring role was as a thug along with Ed Hall in the series father Biff if you put a montage of all my Expressions together you will notice I didn't change once the uh what I would bite the insides of my cheeks because I was afraid I'd laugh and mess it up and get kicked out uh well it's Tuesday there's not much else going on so let's check in with our newest character father Biff and find out what's going on with Him Father Griff foreign [Music] you guys really screwed up now spray painting dirty words on the convent wall you make me sick what do you what are you gonna do to us father Biff we heard you were tough but tender I'm gonna let my boss take over on this one all yours Mr G thank you uh is that it is that it the show ain't over boys now I'm gonna kick your butts [Music] [Applause] [Music] every every episode father Biff kicks their butts so I've seen two hoods the same two punks the same two narrow dwells every week they get a butt kicking well father Biff he's tolerant but yet he can lay down a firm hand that's right well he's using a baseball bat he has to and I know I've seen that one there on his right in here many many times he hasn't learned his lesson yet kick him once for me Father Biff one of the bits I came up with uh for Biff that was a one-off uh was when Dick Tracy was coming out and we were at the office late and uh just we needed Act five we need an Act five and uh I just said Biff Tracy oh okay Carrot Top four eyes I finally caught up with you grotesque villains man you guys are ugly I'm off at Copper what's our crime besides yahidi is exterious I was thinking of your Big Heist at the local 7-Eleven you can't prove a thing I don't I don't guess you have a receipt for these do you well no not exactly no you're gonna take us away now in the Batmobile Batmobile that's it that is it this time time to clean up this city [Music] anybody remember tick boy Dear Dave on your show on June 22nd 1989 I remember seeing tick boy with eight legs which would mean these pests are spiders I think real ticks have six legs and are insects certainly ticks are not in the same family as our friends the spiders your faithful viewer forever Alex Coffer Columbus Ohio is this true is that right tick boy where the hell is hey pick Floyd get out here what the hell is going on so you're you're no chicory you're just a lousy spider you're no tick at all are you you're a spider are you hello all right well here I'll show you now now there you're a dick I I guess you're a tick now wait a minute hey Dave I don't know excuse me what uh excuse me it seems I think the person who made you look like a fool is is Alex Coffer it says here ticks and spiders are both both a eight-legged arachnids the only difference is that uh the tick is a blood sucking parasite oh my God you mean I've disfigured tick boy all because of this guy's letter oh my God that's terribly sorry how can I ever repay you I'm awfully sorry here I'll tell you what here's 50 bucks go down to Hurley's have a nice night okay there you go no I just I just I knew that wasn't going anywhere I know yeah the second tick boy came out I knew I was in trouble dad because I wasn't I wasn't sure exactly what I was supposed to say now in that case and I knew he wasn't really going to answer me so so I'm screaming at him like he forgot a line and of course ticks don't talk writing responses to viewer mail was always fun it was uh you could just sort of freelance and go anywhere a viewer wrote in Dear Dave I was wondering why do you always clear your desk with your hands when most of the time there's nothing even on it is it a habit just wondering Renata uh well that's a good question Renata and I guess from where you watch you really can't see anything on the desk but I'm telling you uh there is a lot of stuff here crawling all over this desk apparently look at that we've had some kind of uh infestation oh these are those barking desk maggots they're just yeah you really can't do much about them just been horrible here lately I think it's the cold weather oh I think I cracked a rib somebody wrote in who had an address close to the 30 Rock address complaining about getting Dave's mail in at her office so I wrote a bit that she should be happy about it and open it because she doesn't know what she's missing well Marie you know I apologize for the inconvenience but it's not just one of my silly gags it happens to be the U.S postal system and they've been sending my mail to the wrong address for years now but look look what you could have had simply by opening my mail look there's a thousand dollars cash that could have been yours how how show Marie what others have received just by opening my mail when I got Dave's season tickets for the Rangers I thought wow I've never won anything before all I got was Dave's phone bill but now I know his home phone number and I'm gonna call him anytime I want I had no qualms whatsoever about opening Dave's mail when it was delivered to my house I got his American Express card so remember my biggest adventure in my late night experience was going with Calvert to Forest on his Pan-American Goodwill tour to Tierra del Fuego Steve O'Donnell came into a writer's meeting and said hey Dave approved this idea of renting an RV putting Calvert in it and sending him across country spreading goodwill which writer wants to go and no hands went up because they all had lives so I volunteered it was an indeterminate time we left on a Friday no idea when we were coming back we didn't have a camera crew because it was too expensive Panasonic had invented this new video phone and all it was was a box that interlaced scanned a still photo that was grainy and black and white and could have just been backstage this must be and don't let me put words in your mouth uh this must be the most exciting night of your life oh it's certainly you're about to him you're about to embark on a journey not many people ever dream about let alone actually enjoy themselves that is so true and beginning right here the greatest Metropolis in the world New York City going down the length of the Western Hemisphere to the southernmost tip of Argentina right down there to Tierra del Fuego I knew you'd be stunned in a matter of minutes Larry Calvert will be leaving here Midtown Manhattan and riding in a mallard 270sb there it is down there oh it's beautiful from the Napanee uh Indiana the mallard coach company there it is it's a Calvary de forest's Pan-American Goodwill tour we were on the campus of University of Kentucky I think it was Calvert was getting disappointed because there was no one around because it was in between there were classes going on when the classes broke out tons of people just surrounded that's Larry Bud Melman and he started handing out t-shirts to people and I had to stop because I only had a select number and he got mad at me and basically said do you know who I am so he that evening he called his agent who called Morty who called me and told me I gotta treat Calvert like a star we have the the video device here we're going to actually get to see a photo of you in Lexington and Calvert how actually are you uh spreading goodwill how am I yeah uh well let's see uh we went to the University of Kentucky right and a lot of fans there right but you know you're supposed to ask for you David you're so you're supposed to be in Mexico by now oh David not yet turn on your thing here so we can see you coming in now all right it's coming in now [Music] [Applause] uh do me a favor don't shave I want you to stop shaving until you get to Tierra del Fuego okay okay really yeah don't don't shave anymore now also you went to Gettysburg yes yeah now how long were you at Gettysburg uh one day yeah you know this is this is not a vacation I I don't want you to stop at uh like at Disney World either oh no never a typical thing all right get back in the damn truck and drive all right oh fine Dave anything you say because you don't understand we want you in Tierra del Fuego before the end of the year oh well day before you know it Dave okay one of the stops was Jackson Mississippi and we stayed at some low rent Hotel I had a joining rooms with Calvert and Frank in the middle of the night I heard screaming and then I heard more screaming at the screaming and apparently Frank had night terrors and Calvert was yelling at him to wake up and stop screaming uh now how is everyone getting along on the trip I know you're traveling with a driver and a couple of friends and some people from the show how was the mood what's the morale like the mood is very good David tomorrow is very hard so far everyone's getting along there hasn't been any Petty bickering no arguments nothing at all at all no no feuding no feuding or fighting uh-huh are you telling me the truth Calvert David but I ever lie to you well I don't know is everything all right everything's fine David except I still want the beard taken off no no you leave the beard on you look great yes David okay food fluctuated he was constantly asking can we quit now you sound discouraged I'm not well David what's the matter I know I feel lousy David I'm just sick of traveling I please let me take this bed off I'm getting a rash from it David it's annoying you know I you you've only been gone a couple of weeks and I know David but but still I mean I'm at the point now I'm getting adjective in all honesty here be candid with me on this all right would you want to come home or do you want to continue I'd like let me repeat the question in all in all honesty do you want to come home or do you want to go on I want to come at the Guatemala border we got a bus it was basically a school bus painted lovely colors uh and people were transporting live chickens on the bus and they stopped in every small town before we got to Guatemala City so it took five and a half hours Calvert uh how are you doing sir David yeah tell people how you got from Oaxaca to Guatemala well we got to Guatemala bought a Saturday and we had problems because they didn't understand English so we made it across the border right and we we had to make it out of fumigate the car but the Calvert doesn't that happen when you come through the tunnel out of Jersey were there snacks [Laughter] I put the peons I guess you were in the VIP section of the bus um now now what was the what was the scenery like it must be beautiful there huh it's all right you know we'd like to have you in Tierra del Fuego by Labor Day uh please you baby are you spreading goodwill oh Dave it's getting to the point now I definitely want to come home I'm gonna give you three choices you can continue you can come home or you can leave where you are right now and we'll send you to Disney World I just thought you you want to put an end to the Goodwill tour yesterday all right they finally called the trip off which was good because I'm not sure what the next mode of transportation would have been other than like a a petty cab did you learn anything from your travels not to go there again you know I every time you would call in here on the show from one of these locations I get the sense that we were bothering you they were I see the writers were aware that Calvert and I had been butting heads so they thought it would be funny if they put us in another bit together that had nothing to do with the Goodwill tour but it did involve me hitting coward on the back of the head with a board the first time I hit him the board didn't break it's 1am Do You Know Where Your Children Are Not to change the subject but how'd you like to see my personal trainer break a board over my head get in here boy son of uh [Applause] the thing that we didn't really get to show was what went on in between appearances on the show so what I wanted to write a fictionalized version of it and my dream casting would be Patton Oswalt as Calvert to Forest somebody handsome would play me [Music]

Channel: Letterman

Views: 94,465

Keywords: letterman, david letterman, dave letterman, interview, letterman interview, letterman official, letterman late show, letterman late night, late night, stupid pet tricks, stupid human tricks, top ten, late show, top ten list

Id: a9ED7ZSAhLU

Length: 21min 4sec (1264 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 29 2022