(energetic music) - [Lea] Right, so here
we go I guess (coughs). This year I wanted to start off right with a video that sets
the tone of my channel moving forward with what I aim to do with my content in the future. Ever since Steven universe ended, I've been getting loads of comments, asking what I'm going
to do with my channel and make content for. And even though my channel has
been in a prosperous period without hardly any serious
Steven universe content insight for almost an entire year now, it's still something that
I'm frequently asked. But if you've noticed and have
been here for a long time, I'm not uploading nearly
as frequently as I used to when I first started YouTube and to give a proper
explanation for both why that is and what I'm going to
be doing in the future we need to get one incy tincy
topic out of the way first, special interests and hyperfixations. Those of you who are watching this video may or may not know this
about me, but I have ASD. ASD is the acronym for
autism spectrum disorder and was the diagnosis that
replaced Asperger syndrome back in 2013, because
doctors found it to be a far more accurate
description for the disability. The decision to change the name isn't really pertinent to the
topic of this video, I guess but it is a little fun
fact that I've realized not a lot of people know. People diagnosed with Asperger's can still feel free to use that diagnosis if they feel more comfortable
with it, of course, but just know that ASD effectively
serves the same purpose both label and diagnosis wise, if you were confused as to
where that term came from. All of this is just a
complicated way to say that, yes, I am autistic. One of the most popular videos
that I have on the channel is actually where I talk about autism representation in the media. So this is mainly for those of you who really liked that video and subscribed hoping for something
similar in the future. Needless to say though I am not by any means
a medical professional, I am just an autistic person speaking about my own autistic experience, and I don't really have
the authority or final say over anything that I'm talking about here. We all experience things differently, and that's why it's called
a spectrum disorder, disclaimers done and
out of the way though. What are special interests
and hyper fixations? And why did I say that
that's been preventing me from making consistent content
for roughly the past year? I'm sure fellow neurodivergent
peers already know the answer and what I'm getting at here, but for those of you who don't, I'll explain the basics really quick. It's also important to note
briefly that before we continue, that while special interest is a term exclusively used by autistic people or people on the spectrum, hyper fixation is a term that is used by all other neurodivergent folks. Hyper fixation is most commonly attributed to people with ADHD, but it's not exclusive
to just that disability. The line is sort of blurred
between how the two differ but the consensus based on
my research and conversations seems to be that special interests are more often more
consistent and long-term than hyper fixations are. The two are slightly different
based on their origin but share more similarities
than they do differences. And of course, depending on the person hyper fixations can be just
as intense and long lasting as special interests are. They've been designated different names because of the origin of their disability and not necessarily because
they're consistently different from each other in terms of expression. So because of that, I'll
be talking about them both as this sort of broad experience. There's a lot of overlap between multiple
developmental disabilities particularly between ASD and ADHD, which is where a lot of
the confusion and mix up with the terminology comes from. For example, hyperfocus
is a term that can be used both by people with ASD and ADHD but is usually considered
to be an exclusive term to individuals with those disabilities. Whereas hyper fixation is not and can be used by anyone
who is developmentally, intellectually and or mentally disabled. It's a lot to remember
and I'll be linking a post that I feel explains the
differences rather well in the description, in addition to knowing the
proper usage of these terms and who experiences them, here's some language that
you should know as well, since I've seen a lot of confusion surrounding the modern terms. They're still fairly new, so
I don't really blame anyone for not knowing what they mean. Key definitions and explanations. Neurodivergent. A neurodivergent person is defined as one whose neurological development and state are atypical, usually viewed as abnormal or extreme. So this means someone
who may have ASD, ADHD, a personality disorder, or
other mental disabilities such as dyslexia, or dyscalculia, someone saying that they're neurodivergent doesn't necessarily mean
that they're autistic, it just means that they're
neurologically atypical. Reminder that while these
things are disabilities they are not considered to be flaws. Disabled is not a dirty word. Neurotypical, not
displaying or characterized by autistic or other
neurologically atypical patterns of thoughts or behavior. This simply means that
you aren't neurodivergent. ASD, we already went over
this one in the intro but ASD is short for
autism spectrum disorder, it replaced Asperger's
syndrome back in 2013, Allistic, someone who is not autistic. You can be neurodivergent and allistic, you can have ADHD and be allistic. It simply means that you do not have ASD. Special interest, to have a
deep, intense, passionate, and incredibly focused narrowed interest in a certain area of study,
subject, topic or thing, to the exclusion of other interests. This interest is something
that exists for the longterm most often lasting multiple months, years or even for your entire life, less commonly, they
last a couple of weeks. This is considered to be
a term used exclusively by people with autism and not by those with other mental disabilities. Hyperfixation, an umbrella
term used to describe special interest,
hyper-focus, perseverations and other intense obsessions and those with developmental, learning or mental disabilities, commonly most used by people with ADHD to substitute the term special interest, some special interest
is widely agreed upon to be an ASB exclusive term. This term is not exclusive
towards people with ADHD and is the correct term to use if you're neurodivergent but not autistic. Hyper-focus, to focus
intensely on something for a short term period of time without break to the
exclusion of all other things. This is to the point
that you won't process what's going on around you, adhere to your bodily functions and needs, homework or tasks, your hobbies
or interests, et cetera. This is a term that's usually exclusive for people with ADHD or ASD, actually ADHD on Tumblr described it best by saying, you can hyperfocus on something that you're especially interested in but you can also hyperfocus on stuff that you're not especially interested in. That's how you can end
up playing a video game for five hours without realizing
how much time has gone by and wonder why you were even
playing the game to begin with, since it's not your favorite. Differences between hyper
fixation and hyper-focus. Okay, so with those simple
but fundamental definitions out of the way, it's
time for us to get into explaining the complexities
of special interests, hyper fixations and hyper-focus. These terms seem to have
created a lot of confusion in groups just learning about them through individual research, particularly in leftist online spaces. They aren't the same thing no matter how they tend
to be grouped together and talked about together. And while they sometimes
overlap and exist side by side they are still two very different things. A special interests, for
example, can be best described as an intense and
passionate level of focus on things of interest over
a long period of time, sometimes lifelong. Hyper fixation is essentially the same but maybe experienced differently since it's generally the
umbrella term that is used by all neurodivergent people. Hyper-focus differs from both
and can be best described as being fully and 100%
immersed in something to the point of being
unable to break your focus on whatever it is that
you're hyperfocused on. The difference between the
two can best be described like this, hyperfocusing
is when you concentrate on one activity or task for
a prolonged period of time far beyond what a neuro-typical
person typically does, hyperfocus can sometimes involve a topic rather than a task, but not always. For example, the task
may be on an interest because it's researching
facts about dolphins for five hours, noticing that it's 4:00 AM and you stayed up all night
on a school or work night or it could simply be
playing a video game all day and not noticing anything around you including your need to eat,
sleep or go to the bathroom, despite your body giving
you very clear indications and warnings. It's basically an extreme case of, "Whoops, I lost track of time." And of course it really
depends and varies. Both people with ASD
and ADHD experience this even if it's depicted more commonly when talking about the later. A special interest or hyper fixation is the subject of intense interest that continues past active
emergent of a singular task and may or may not be tied to
a certain task or activity. Oftentimes it isn't, a
special interest usually falls under one specific subject,
such as a series or a movie and oftentimes extends
to non-fiction sources, such as taking an interest in a specific time period of history, a certain animal, trains or literally anything
that you can think of can become a subject of interest. It is important to note that
you can become hyperfocused on something that isn't
your special interest or hyper fixation, it
doesn't need to be something that you're actually interested in for you to become fixated on it. Sometimes you can even become
hyper fixated out of fear such as looking up an illness and spending all day doom
scrolling and scaring yourself into thinking that you have
cancer because of Mayo clinic, we've all been there. This can happen with
literally any activity to the point that you
may forget to take care of your basic needs, even
if it's to eat or sleep. Like for me personally, I can become hyper-focused on writing, even if my special
interest isn't involved. The majority of my
scripts were only finished because I was able to zone in on them and write them all in one day. Even if it's typically a struggle to reach what I call the zone. I'm the type of person
who writes continuously over a prolonged period of time, even if it's skipping
two days worth of sleep to write a 20 plus page script in one go. I either get out what
I need in one sitting, or I take a two month
break and come back to it when I can focus on it again. There really is no in between and it makes getting stuff
out frequently to be difficult as you can clearly see,
but when it does work I'm productive to the point
of making my own head spin. While there are breaks from hyperfocus since it's generally activity-based, special interests usually constant. Again, this varies person to person. One frustrating comment that I get whenever I talk about this subject is something along the lines of, "Everyone has interests and problems focusing on stuff they don't like. If you're really saying that anyone who's passionate
about something is autistic that makes half the world autistic." In fact, I'm pretty sure people
are already typing that out right now, if they haven't already. And to that, I say, no, you
literally don't understand and I think you just
don't understand people with mental disabilities. Hyperfocus, special
interest and hyperfixations are incredibly hard to explain to people who have never experienced the symptoms from having ASD or ADHD, because there aren't similar
experiences that they've had that we can compare it to. And I think that's where we're going wrong and trying to explain it to people because there's really
nothing to give in comparison. By virtue that makes it difficult for there to be an empathetic connection and form an understanding,
these aren't the same as a passion or general
interest in something, since in those cases, I'm sure it wouldn't have the potential of impacting every single
portion of your life. And I'm pretty sure that you
also wouldn't hate a passion because some hyper fixations and some special interests
you're hyper fixated on and you might not even like them, it's just because you're
hyper fixated on it like (shudders). Special interests and hyper fixations go beyond simply having
an interest in something and a hyperfocus goes beyond simply being focused on something, because if that's all
they were, you're right, I would be explaining
half of the population but that isn't what
either of these things are and acting like they
are as sort of ignorant. These aren't terms that
we've pulled out of thin air, they're literally
medically recognized terms. I realized too that the difference doesn't seem to be super
large between the two and again, this is where
I understand the confusion because there is a lot that overlaps. I try to avoid the word obsession here while explaining these conditions, because that isn't really what it is, though I suppose that it
is the closest definition that would help a
neurotypical to understand it. Just try not to think of it automatically with negative connotations,
like obsession generally is. Something interesting of note as well is that someone with ASD can have more than one special
interest at one time. I know it's common to believe that there's only one subject
of interest per person, especially in the context of when it's depicted in the media but that often isn't the case. Like with me for example, my
current special interests, as of writing this video are "Infinity Train" being my primary and "Miraculous Ladybug"
being my secondary which honestly checks out if you look at my recent video
upload or Twitter history. I hope that this makes sense because there isn't really a whole hell of a lot of information out
there explaining the difference. Literally, if you Google it, you're more likely to be brought to Reddit instead of a specialized organization and well Reddit can have good information, it really shouldn't be the first thing that comes up in search
results, if that makes sense, I'm not trying to really
discern Reddit or anything. Differences having now
been explained though, I wanted to talk a little bit about special interest individually and some common misconceptions and the problems that
come along with them. Special interests and hyper fixations. When I talk about special
interest and hyper fixations, it's always difficult to do so in a way that accurately describes what it's like having one. And again, this is really difficult to do for someone who doesn't experience it. There's a lot of misconceptions and I think miscommunication on what it is even in a previous video where I briefly talked about it before. So I'm going to try and
clear up a few things here and paint a somewhat accurate picture, at least accurate for me in my experience. One very common misconception,
is that people choose what they want their
special interests to be, and this really isn't the case, at least in my experience,
it really isn't. Do you honestly think that I would willingly choose
to like "Miraculous ladybug" if I had the choice? My experience in history
with special interests has a weird pattern that
it always seems to follow and I'm curious if anyone
else finds it familiar. My very first special interest
was on "Winnie the Pooh" when I was super little. Despite having most late
1900s Disney collections and cartoons, it was always
what I wanted to watch. And according to
conversations with my mom, I would literally watch
it continuously on replay if you let me, this went beyond
baby's first favorite movie since it was more than just
a favorite movie for me and I practically refused to watch and show disinterest in
watching anything else. I remember having a bunch of
poo related stuff growing up and I can only assume
that my obsession with it is what led to that. Though honestly, I don't remember a lot about that part of my life,
so a better example would be one of my other first special interest which would be my
special interest in cats, not like the play or anything,
cats as in the animal. This was my special interest
for my preschool, elementary, middle school and early high school years before a certain group of gay gems decided that they were going to come in and snatch that status away. And I only say that
it's somewhat different because this is my only
non-media special interest that I've ever had and still have but I'll get to that later in the video. For most of my childhood,
I basically consumed every bit of media on cats that I could, I didn't really have unsupervised access to the internet growing up, thank God, so that usually consisted
of channel surfing or literally going to the library
that was five minutes away to look at pictures of or read about cats. I would also spend my recess inside at the library in school, instead of going outside
with the other kids which the teachers put a stop to since they deemed it as
antisocial and inappropriate, jokes on them because I just started
bringing warrior books outside and I read them while I was on the swing. I had a little black and
white cat stuffed animal that I got when I was five which I'm pretty sure is what kicked off the whole fixation business
in the first place. His name is Twizzy and I love him a lot, I'll probably put a picture of him in here with Connor or something in post. I also got my first
cats, Sparkles and Lily around that same time. I've talked about Sparkles
on my channel before, so I'll link that video in the info card, but about 90% of my
time when I was younger was spent with my cat while
surrounded by cat plushies, books, wearing exclusively cat shirts and watching either "Animal Cops Houston," "Animal Planet Documentaries on Big Cats" or "My Cat from Hell." When I got access to the internet, literally all I did was watch cat videos and researched cat behavior
and health problems. I literally only drew cats and yes, I had a Warrior cats
face, what gay person hasn't? I got to the point where I
was unable to finish or focus on schoolwork because every
page was just lined with cats or cat like creatures,
whenever there was free room. I even remember sneaking Twizzy to school while in high school and
keeping him in my backpack so that I wouldn't get made fun of for essentially still needing
to bring a stuffed animal with me wherever I went as a
teenager for emotional support. Most of my conversations with
my friends were about my cat or cat related things, to the point where I earned
the name crazy cat lady in middle school and
not as a senior citizen. I also developed an incredibly
strong hatred for dogs because of how the media and
overly obnoxious dog people always depicted them
as the better companion and cats as the evil
and lesser counterpart. I've thankfully gotten
over that to an extent even though I still don't
like dogs for sensory reasons but I still loathe the media
perception and tropes on cats. I honestly could probably
make an entire video ranting about just that if I wanted to but I'll spare you the details. That was the extent that this went to if it gives you any idea of what going past a
neuro-typical interest looks like and what a special interest
and hyperfixation looks like because none of that
behavior is neurotypical. In what I just told you,
there's a lot to break down that will tell you a lot about what a special interest means to someone with a mental
disability like ASD or ADHD. This is going to be a little different from what I normally do since I'm analyzing my own behavior here and not a cartoon
character, so bear with me. I'll go over what I said piece by piece to highlight the very common attributes. First, special interest are usually seen as a comfort to people on the spectrum. This can help us when we're
dealing with sensory overload or just in general may
help us get out energy that may lead to sensory overload. Partaking in a special interest is usually a pleasurable experience and is incredibly fun and exciting for us. You can see this in behaviors such as the person's surrounding
themselves in either merch or objects related to
their special interests or info dumping about it. So in my case, my room
looked like cat central because being around
cats made me feel safe, comfortable, and happy. This is also why I would wear cat shirts and sneak Twizzy to school with me because it made me feel safer. Whenever I was feeling overwhelmed, I would either go to my
locker to hug and pet Twizzy or go to the bathroom
to look in the mirror at the cat shirt that I was wearing. And starting even younger than that, I used to take him to preschool with me when I got separation anxiety
from being away from my mom. I know that that seems kind of weird if you haven't dealt with this, but special interests are
a source of repetition and structure. We know what to expect with them and therefore they can help us by grounding us in situations
that can be overwhelming or lack structure, such as a public place with a bunch of overwhelming
and unpredictable stimuli like school or work. It can also become the only outlet if you're shamed for
stimming, which let's be real, the moment you flap your
hands or do a behavior that's even moderately visibly autistic, you can feel the bullies and class clowns in the back of the room, just
waiting to call you a slur when the teacher isn't paying attention. So obviously that isn't the
best option for relieving stress and expressing yourself positively. Another important thing
that you can notice from my actions when I was little, was that I was seeking
out all of the knowledge that I possibly could about felines, whether this was through
watching documentaries or reading books. Special interest are
usually heavily researched to the point of the person
knowing an incredible or encyclopedic amount of
knowledge on said subject. The most commonly talked
about instance of this is definitely with trains,
since trains are very common hyper fixation to have
among those with ASD, but popular doesn't mean only. but more often than not, it's mostly done out of passion and love because it does genuinely
bring joy and comfort to the person who is researching it. One theory as to why we have
special interest actually is because autistic people
typically don't like change or unpredictable situations, we prefer to stick to
structure and routine, I mean, we'd like to know
what's going to happen and when, not knowing can cause extreme
anxiety and cause discomfort, which can lead to overstimulation or even eventually a
meltdown in extreme cases. We can ensure that we know what's going on with our special interest, if
we know everything about them because then nothing
can catch us off guard. So we can still enjoy and consume media, but it's in a non-stressful way that allows us to avoid
overstimulation or discomfort. I think that's a pretty solid theory given what we know and experience. Another behavior worth pointing out in my experience with cats is that I developed a hatred towards dogs. Not because of anything
that a dog did to me but simply because dogs
were used to criticize or talk down on cats. And it wasn't just dogs either, I would get cartoonishly upset whenever anyone said that cats were bad or that another animal was better. And when I say cartoonishly, I mean, I've had full on
meltdowns over it before. Going involuntarily mute, throwing a fit, going into a fetal position,
crying out of frustration, the whole shebang. I think something not
a lot of people realize is that people with ASD or ADHD can be incredibly sensitive to criticism. This also extends to criticism
of our special interests and we can become stubborn or very upset when someone is badmouthing it to the point of it feeling
like a personal attack. This is also why you have a
lot of neurodivergent kids getting really upset with people for making fun of things like
"Five Nights at Freddy's" or "Fortnight," which are things that are also a very common
subject of hyper fixation. It may also cause the individual to feel like they're a bad person since liking something to this extent can certainly become a
part of your identity. And so the line is blurred between whether they're
simply insulting your interest or you for liking it. And that leads into my next point which is that you can't
choose your special interest. This makes the last situation
potentially more frustrating if your interest is considered to be a problematic piece of media, such as Attack on Titan for example. There are very valid criticisms and concerns about it out there but it may be hard for someone who has it as a special interest to see the criticism as anything beyond an
attack on their character, pardon the pun. Though the opposite may also be true and that some autistic
people also love to critique the things that they love and critiquing maybe how they interact with their special interests. But again, autism is a spectrum disorder and it's important that while
discussing it and its effects not to confuse your
experience with your autism as the definitive overall
shared experience, because it isn't. This is very much an
individual based disability which is why it's very hard to
both explain and diagnose it. In all of my years and through
all of my special interest, I never chose any of them. For example, with Steven universe, many of you know that
I started out hating it and I mean, absolutely loathing it. My first introduction to it was the infamous "Wet bagel" commercial, so I think you can understand why. But then lo and behold, it
became my special interest back in 2015 when Rose's Scabbard aired, it remained my primary
special interest until 2020 when Steven universe future ended. And then after that, my biggest interest
was Miraculous Ladybug, same story there. I hated it because I thought
that for lack of a better word, the animation was ugly. I still kind of believe that to an extent but I'm a lot less picky now that I have a better understanding of how difficult making
animation actually is. And then my next biggest special
interest is Infinity train, and guess what? Yep, same story, initially
and you're going to laugh, I didn't like Infinity Trained
solely because of Atticus and yes it's because he was dog and it seemed like he was
one of the main characters. So yeah, the whole cat thing I guess does still influence me to a degree. Most of my special interests
seem to follow a pattern, so now I fear whenever I
initially hate a piece of media based on something super
small and insignificant because based on patterns with
all of my special interests in the past, hating on
it is just the first step to falling into hyper fixation hell. If I roll my eyes at the first impression it means it's love at
first sight at this point, I've just come to accept it. Now, a lot of people probably
are wondering how I moved on from one special interest
to another so quickly and how it seems like my first
and second interest were long but my third and fourth are short. And that's because, as I
mentioned earlier in this video it's possible to have more than one special interest at a time. My special interest in cats
is still very much there but it's what I call a dormant interest. I still have it and we'll go on hyper-focused
binges with it occasionally but it isn't as prevalent as it once was, the same can be applied
to Steven universe. Special interests do
not need to be lifelong in order for them to be
defined as a special interest. My primary hyper fixation on cats lasted from when I was five all
the way until when I was 16, so that lasted for around 11 years. Steven universe was primary from when I was around 16 to roughly 23, so it lasted for about seven years. Miraculous Ladybug started
in December of 2019 and it's still ongoing. Infinity Train started in
August 2019 and is still going. Miraculous ladybug and Infinity train are both still my
current special interest, they're just in a unique
situation right now where they're both my
focus at the same time. So this is new for me because I've never had more than one thing that I've been able to
really focus on before. Though what I've found interesting, is that I'll swap between
them every few weeks. So for example, right now
my primary special interest is Infinity train, meaning it's the main thing
that I want to talk about but I'm still interested in talking about Miraculous ladybug. Miraculous Ladybug is my
secondary special interest and it's what I call the sleeper agent. I'll call it that because I'll go a few days
without thinking about it and my primary special interest will be the main one in my head, but the moment that there's some sort of new Miraculous ladybug content it automatically switches
back to the primary spot and kicks Infinity train
out back to secondary. And that's sort of how
it's been going for me for about the past year now, just flopping back and
forth between the two, whenever one of them gets news, which can be super frustrating if I'm working on a video for one and then all of a sudden it
loses its primary placing. So while it's still a
very much consistent thing between both of them in
terms of limited interest, this time, the spot is shared
by two things instead of one, the great thing about it for me though is that my hyper fixation is
something that I've turned into a career for myself. Without my focus or
love for animated shows, I'm not sure where I would be right now, it's pushed me to go
further with my education and allowed me to see what
truly makes me happy in life. I enjoy talking about these things which is why I have such a hard time not talking about them beyond the obvious. I want to be able to use
this to eventually help, make and work on something truly great and I know that eventually
I'll be able to do that. Although I hope that me going through this has helped you to understand what the experience itself
is like if only to an extent. That said, there is a fair
share of potential problems and misconceptions that
can come with the whole special interest thing as
I'm sure you've deduced, either by listening to me
explaining my experience or by having experiences yourself, let's get into it some of those. Problems and misconceptions. One major problem that
I've kind of hinted at in multiple points in this video is that special interests
have the potential to make it near impossible to focus on literally anything else. Whether this be personal
maintenance, work, relationships or even just trying to
keep up with other hobbies. It can have a significant
and rather damaging impact on our day-to-day lives. In fact, in certain kinds of therapy made specifically to treat
autistic people such as ABA, special interests are
commonly used as a reward for meeting targeted or desired behavior. And while I personally believe that it's a rather ableist practice, it highlights just how important
special interests are to us and how we use them to interact
with the world around us. For a lot of us engaging
with our special interest is a need. Whether that comes out in the
form of writing, imagining, daydreaming, drawing, talking,
role-playing, collecting, et cetera, and may seem dramatic but it's one of our necessities. Again, I can't stress how
important this is to most of us. But sometimes this need
can be so overwhelming that it impacts other
aspects of our lives. Focusing in school can become hard because we can't really focus on the work or what our teachers are saying to us. This can lead to low grades and overall negative
association with school, despite the fact that we usually do love the process of learning it's just incredibly difficult or near impossible at times to find the focus or
have interest in learning about a non special
interest related subject. I can't remember one required class where I paid attention for
more than half of the time and my grades and GPA
suffered immensely from it. College was better because
I could set my own schedule and take breaks whenever I wanted. And what would you know, I
actually averaged between an A and a high B in all of my classes when I was allowed to do that, whereas an elementary and middle, I was almost exclusively
a C and D student. Neurodivergent kids are set up fail in a modern school structure but that's a whole topic
for a different video. Another thing that it
can impact negatively is our relationships. This is for a few reasons but we'll cover the main point first to get it out of the way,
I'm just gonna say it. A lot of people think that
we're annoying, yeah, it hurts, yeah, we know it's the
truth, we aren't stupid. When we talk about the same
thing over and over again, we can usually tell, or we
assume that you've lost interest. You can only discuss the
same thing so many times with the same person, before
they've already heard it all and no longer find being
in a conversation with you to be interesting or fulfilling. Unless of course, you're
friends with someone who has the same special interest or same hyper fixation
as you, in which case, there's very few things
that feel as good as that. A lot of the time, this happens the most with family members. For example, my dad really has no interest in animation whatsoever and
so we don't really talk at all because he doesn't wanna hear about it. I tried to engage with stuff he likes but my brain always will wander off before I really get too invested. And believe me, I have
tried like genuinely tried but where does my brain go,
back on the Infinity train. This can lead to familial
relationships weakening especially if they
don't really care enough to understand the importance
of special interests and how important they are for our emotional and overall wellbeing. And while I personally can focus on anything that's animated, I just can't focus on
something that's live action, it's impossible for me. The other way that it
can affect relationships is by us forgetting to talk
and keep up with friends. And this may seem kind of
stupid, but hear me out. A lot of us especially
online have friend groups that we made talking about
a specific thing with, when that special interest fades, we find new friends and communities that we share that interest with. A lot of the time we
accidentally neglect friendships that we made through
other hyper fixations. And it isn't because we no
longer value those people it's that we got so caught
up in this new thing that we literally forgot to go back and talk to the other people who don't share that same interest, especially if we're
hyperfocusing on something. If we forget to and
neglect to eat and sleep, because we're hyperfocusing, do you think that we're
going to remember to reply to that text message you sent us? Probably not. And it's not a matter of us not caring, it's a matter of our brains
needing this thing to function and a lot of the time
not allowing us to focus on anything else. And yeah, it could come
off as us not caring because we just didn't remember. But that's literally not the case and I assure you that we most
likely already feel awful and are too shamed to
reply when we do remember. And I touched upon this earlier as well, but hyper fixations and hyper-focusing can also make it difficult to remember to take care of ourselves. There's been times when I've
stayed up two days in a row because I'm talking to someone
about something I really like or failing to eat for an entire day because I just didn't
think about trying to eat. By the time I'm able to pull myself away, my stomach hurts and I'm
dizzy and I likely was before, I just didn't notice
because I was so focused on whatever it is I'm
currently thinking about, like even as I'm writing this my brain is currently
thinking about Amelia and how her and Alrick
were in the 1970s England and how that implies the Emilia's arc is one that's based on
women's suffrage and feminism, may seem random but that's how it is. And this leads to the
question that I asked at the very start of this video. Why haven't I been making
videos as frequently lately? It's because I'm simply
finding it difficult to balance hyper fixation and
putting that focus into words. It's not a lack of passion, it's actually the exact opposite. I love it so much that
I want to talk about it but I either get too excited to the point of being
unable to type it out because it's all I want to
think about and talk about or my interest abruptly switches between Infinity train
and Miraculous ladybug. And when it does that, I need to stop whatever
it was I was working on involving that show and try to swap back to the video involving that
I was working on previously. It's truly a frustrating
cycle to be trapped in. And I don't wanna imply that
I'm suffering or whatever because I'm not. Most of the time, my
relationship with my interests is incredibly healthy, occasionally, yes, it
does become overbearing. I just happened to be in an
overbearing situation right now but I know that it will go away soon just based on how I am
and based on my history with this type of thing. I love my special interests a lot and I love that I can hyperfocus because it gives me the
ability and perseverance to be far more thorough
than my neurotypical peers. Do I hate it sometimes because it prevents me from
doing what I need to do? Yeah, sometimes I think that's fair to say but I always say this,
I'm going to say it again, once we harness the power
of being able to hyper-focus it's all over for the neurotypicals because they won't be
able to keep up with us. Not many neurotypical people that I know can sit down and write a
40 page thesis on coconuts in one day and get an A+ on
it and I always feel powerful whenever I end up accomplishing
something like that. It just becomes a problem when
I can't turn it on and off which is very much the predicament I and others like me find ourselves in. At least with Steven universe it was my main and only interest. It's why I was able to push myself to get consistent uploads out because my channel in one way or another was a way for me to info dump without having anyone
else to talk to about it. Quick definition as well on that end, but info dumping is, the practice common
amongst autistic people of giving intricately detailed summaries of their topic of
interest in single heaps, this can occur in conversation
both online and offline. Speaking in paragraphs, is
another way to describe this. And although special interests are one of the flagships
symptoms of autism, and of course neurodivergency in general, it's also normal for you to be autistic and not experience this at all. And of course, this
also goes without saying that it's also normal if you have ADHD and also don't have a hyper fixation. It could just be that your problem rests
strictly on social cues or having problems
distinguishing between tones. I know a lot of people assume that this is something universal between everyone on the
spectrum and it really isn't. It's normal to express some symptoms while not expressing other, regardless of how common they are across the disability as a whole. A lot of times, people also
assume that we're selfish for either talking about our
special interest all the time or using our struggles
to relate with others. This isn't the case at all and is actually usually a
simple misunderstanding. If we share our special
interests with you, it means that we care about you, and we want something to
enjoy and bond with you over. A lot of times, hyper fixations
are very important to us and a big part of who we are
and how we experience things and so trusting you with that information, indicates that we care about
you and trust you a great deal. We want you to experience
something that brings joy to us hoping that it will also bring joy to you. A lot of the time too, it's the only way that
we know how to interact and we want to interact with you. You don't want to break that
trust by making fun of us or by getting angry. And while I've been talking
a lot in the section about how hyper fixations
and special interests can take over someone's life
in certain circumstances, I think it's also important to mention that this is also very much a
case of an individual basis, like I've been saying
throughout this entire video I cannot really explain to you guys how important it is that
you understand this, that you know that it's
an individual based thing because I don't want anyone to feel like they're being invalidated. With a lot of people, they may have minimal to no trouble at all focusing on other things. This is a very individualistic disability that doesn't have only one
way of presenting itself. It's why we still don't know
a whole hell of a lot about it because it's just that hard to pinpoint. And just as it varies
how people experience it I'm sure that these
aren't the only problems or misconceptions about it. You can always feel free
to use the comment section to dump your thoughts, opinions and experience on these
things, because again, this is what I personally
felt needed to be covered due to my own personal point of view. And speaking from personal experience, I think now it'd be a good
time to go over advice how to deal with special interests that are currently dominating your life. Advice and management, as
we've discussed in this video a special interest or hyper fixation is something that can bring a lot of joy and provide comfort to
people with both ASD and other neurodivergent disorders. However, they can also sometimes cause you to become frustrated and
neglect personal, professional and academic responsibilities. So what are some ways that
you can try to cope with this? And if you're either neuro-typical or just don't deal with hyper fixations, what can you do to help
support your family members, friends, and peers who do? There's a few things that
I've found work well for me but they might not
always work for everyone. The first thing that you can try to do is incorporate your special
interest into your tasks. For example, if you're doing homework try to imagine a character
from your favorite show solving the problem or helping you with it or even try to rework
the problem in your head so that it's relevant. That way you can now focus on your work without the stress or frustration of forcing your brain to
choose between the two. It helps as well, if
you're able to involve it in whatever creative
project you're pursuing, which is what I tended to do
a lot back in English class when we wrote papers or an art class where the project was somewhat open-ended. Another thing that I
like to do is take breaks and set goals. This isn't as much of an
option in grade school unless you have understanding
teachers, unfortunately, but in college, your professor can't really
stop you from leaving since you know, you're paying
them and you're an adult. If they deny you, you
can bring it to the Dean and tell them that your professor is not being accommodating
to your disability because let's be real,
that's what that is. If you feel yourself getting distracted or struggling to focus,
allow your mind to break, to go back to what it wants to think about for a little while, usually you can come
back with a clearer mind. In my own experience,
trying to force myself to focus on something, just
makes me more unfocused than when I originally
started trying to force myself and may lead to overstimulation and make my executive
function that much worse. I also set goals on where I need to be before I take my break and
I can usually focus better if I know that I can let my mind wander once I finish up to a certain point. It's sort of like a reward
for what I need to get done but it's also self-governed
and allowing me autonomy. And I can still always go on break earlier if I'm feeling particularly
overwhelmed about it. There's also always therapy as an option if you have access to it, but it's important to not get discouraged if you can't find the correct therapist or medication right away. It sometimes takes people
several tries to find either the right doctor or
treatment plan and that's fine. You're not really going
to find instant results if this is an issue for you. I want to emphasize that as
long as special interests don't become an issue for you, it's not really something
that you need to have fixed. A lot of people have healthy
and fulfilling relationships with their hyper fixations and
even turn them into careers. So oftentimes they aren't
something that should or need to be discouraged or managed. Really, the only time
it needs intervention is when you're struggling
to do everything else that you need to do for yourself and your relationship with it is more of an unhealthy
and unbalanced one. There are people who don't
have problems with this at all and that doesn't make them any more or any less of a neurodivergent person, everyone is different and their
experiences are all valid. In terms of practical
advice with friendships I always live by the code that communication is
the most important thing in a relationship. This goes for literally everyone though and this is more broad advice. If you're unintentionally
neglecting to talk to someone just be honest with them
and shoot them a message letting them know that
you're thinking about them. It's just that your mind is
making it hard for you to focus on talking to people at the moment. I've found that the more honest you are with your relationships, the
healthier they tend to be. It also shows which people you
want to remain friends with depending on how understanding they are. If it helps or makes things easier feel free to just send this
video as an explanation, if you feel it did a good
job explaining your situation and experience. If I could say something
to the neurotypicals who just wants to support
the neurodivergent people in their lives, when it
comes to this sort of thing, it's that it would help if you listened every once in a while,
you don't need to listen every single time that we talk about it, but at least try to for a little bit. If it's something that you
really just can't engage with for one reason or another, that's fine, but what you don't want to do is either make fun of
the person for liking it, make them feel bad for
wanting to share it with you or get angry that
they're interested in it. And yes, this includes cringe culture. It's 2021, we should've
left that trend behind in the year that it started in. That's one of the quickest ways to ensure that we won't want to have a
relationship with you anymore, or at the very least, a
trustworthy and open relationship. A simple, I'm sorry, I'm not interested in
talking about this right now, or I'm sorry, but I'm not
really interested in this will suffice. But really the biggest
thing I'm asking of you is just try to be open-minded. That seems to be the most common thing that was unanimously agreed upon, when I asked my neurodivergent followers, what they wanted neuro-typical
people to understand about special interests
and hyper fixations. Conclusion. There is a lot more that
could be said about ASD and neurodivergency and
the different aspects of it but like every single portion of it, it's complicated because of
how individualized it is. I am interested in covering topics like it in the future though, but they'll need to be in another video since I can already tell that this one is getting a bit too long. And if I'm being completely honest, I really kinda just wanna
watch Infinity train again. So with that, I'm going
to end this video here. If you want to see more videos like this and when I get around to making them, feel free to subscribe
and hit the bell icon. Special thank you to my top
tier patrons, Abrose Rothwood, Rosie Knightly, Jeffy
Games, Brandon Nunes, Thelovelyghosty, Kerrifique,
Sodden Suzuki, Lee Taylor and Zachary Ainsley. Because of people like them, I can continue to make content like this and I hope to see you
all in the next video have an amazing day guys. (gentle music)
Toon Ruin has used some The Owl House clips for this video, when describing her (as well any autistic person, including my) 'Special talent/hyperfixation'. So, good luck with spotting them.