Soft Skills - Conflict Management

hello everybody welcome to this video on tutorials point today we will talk about conflict management well have you ever been a part of a situation or a scenario where people have been disagreeing in a very active manner if yes then you have been a part of conflict situation each and every one of us have at some point or the other been a part of a conflict and today in this video tutorial we will talk about how to manage conflicts better so let's get started well the agenda today will revolve around topics related with conflict management so we will define the term conflict we will also understand what are the reasons or what are the causes which conflict arises good versus bad conflict we will also burst certain myths and also throw some light on certain facts revolving around conflicts mapping the conflict where we will also talk about a very interesting and an important theory known as Thomas Gilman theory how to manage conflict better with regards to Thomas Gilman and certain proven methods as well as strategies to handle conflict in a better manner well this is all in store for us today and I'm very excited to teach you on conflict management so let's get started on this if I have to ask you what exactly do you mean by the word conflict well the term conflict was coined in the early 15th century it is a Latin word which known as conflict as' which means to strike hard well this term of conflict is was later turned into conflict in the indian ideology and the term conflict really means meaning simple disagreements between people well no two people in the world are the same are they so what we really mean to say is conflict means how to diffuse the kind of disagreements between people and people have different opinions different ideas and ideologies so this is the meaning of a word conflict why do conflicts arise are there any reasons for the origin of conflicts well yes conflicts are bound to happen whether you are at a workplace or whether you are at home within everybody conflicts tend to rise and why do they rise simple reason people are different people come from different backgrounds people come from different ideologies people have different perceptions in life and because of all of these things conflicts arise when two people are walking towards the same goal in an organization conflicts are bound to happen reason being they come from different mindsets so let's understand certain reasons or causes why conflicts arise there may be multiple causes of conflicts some of them are people have different needs they have been brought up in a different scenario a different mindset because of which the needs of people are different this may be a cause of conflict values of people are different again we are talking about people from different cultures having different values and because of which conflicts might arise people respond very differently to pressures some people really crack under pressure whereas certain people are able to resolve things under pressure in a very nice manner people have different perceptions or rather I would say people have different evaluation systems people perceive things in a different manner because of which conflicts might arise styles and policies people have different principles policies ideologies and because of all of these reasons conflict may arise well friends these topics which I have just told you are the root causes of conflict how do you map a conflict by mapping a conflict what we are really seeing is when you are in a conflicting situation you should not make a mountain of a mole and this really happens when two people are stuck in a conflicting situation so how do we map a conflict let's understand it's important first and foremost to define the issue the reason why a conflict arises when to understand the crux of the matter or really understand the issue why people are conflicting with each other it's important to identify the kind of people or the number of people involved in a conflict now the person who is being involved in a conflict that person might be present at that particular position or he might not be around at that particular time so it's important to identify who exactly are the people involved in the conflict next let's down the major needs and concerns of each party well let's understand when there are 2 people conflicting with each other everybody has a different need why they're conflicting and it's important to understand what do they bring onto the table what is their need or what is their concern and each party has a different concern reading the map well it's important in a conflicting situation you should stick to the agenda on which the conflict is there so it's important to be within the time frame or within the map area of a conflict and not go out of the context there are certain words which really instigate a conflict certain words which are negative words when you hear these words you somehow flare up or somehow you just want to have a conflict or a disagreement with a person these negative words need to be avoided what are these negative words let's understand saying something like you never did this again instigates conflict so avoid using you never I told you again is a negative word which instigates a conflict whatever I never did that or you never did that again instigates a conflict oh never mind again is a negative word and saying something like good for you again is a negative word which can instigate a conflict well my dear friends and folks if you use such negative words be sure that the other person is bound to misjudge you and take the situation out of control and in a conflicting manner well how do we counteract that by using positive words and phrases which will help a person defuse a conflict so what are certain words or positive phrases let's see that using words like might I suggest we do this sounds very positive if you can do that let's do that together again is a very very positive way one option is continue on that we can help you to come to a consensus or a conclusion again is a positive phrase or let me explain that in a better manner again is something which people like hearing we understand that taking it forward from there well friends if you use such positive words and phrases trust me conflicts can be diffused and the words that you use the tone which which you use them again can either lead to a very major conflict or can defuse the conflict at a very initial or a nascent phase well we will now discuss Effects of conflict conflict can have a positive or a negative effect on the people of organization what it really depends on is how the conflict was handled some people have always thought that conflict is always bad disagreements are bad having a different point of opinion is a bad thing well I would like to burst a particular myth over here not all conflicts are bad conflict can also be good surprised to hear that well yes it is important to know that conflicts can be good because when people really express themselves share their different points of opinion and thoughts feelings etc it makes them express themselves more and it is a good knowledge learning for other people also so not all conflict is bad conflicts can also be good let's understand that conflict management can lead to a lot of good and positive results let's see what they are conflict management can lead to better collaboration better understanding between team members when teams are working together having good discussion or collaboration really affect team spirit and team bonding it leads to better working relationships definitely when you are having good change of thoughts processes etc it leads to better working relationship you also improve your productivity and the team productivity goes up trust among colleagues when you share your different points of opinion Trust increases between people and also that leads to enhanced engagement you're more motivated and more excited to work with your team if your conflicts have been managed well well conflict goes through different stages a conflict is just not blown out of proportion or it just doesn't boom there it has to go through different stages and that is what a particular theory and study shows it goes through the first stage which is the latent stage well the latent stage is a very nascent stage wherein people are not really even aware that there might be a conflict so people are left unaware they don't know it is just the beginning of a conflict the second stage after latent stage is perceived stage whereas in perceived stage people have started to become aware that there might be a conflict a conflict exists so the awareness comes in this particular stage which is perceived stage the third stage is the stage where in conflict is felt so there is anxiety stress all of these words the negative words are there where and you feel that conflict is there now the fourth stage is the manifest stage well in this particular stage the conflict is manifested meaning that conflict is open and it can be observed you can come to know that conflict is in a manifested stage where an people show through the body language show through their words the tone that they use that conflict is there it's observed by other people who are not probably even involved in the conflict the next stage or the last stage is the aftermath stage which actually happens after the entire conflict has been done and dealt with so whether the conflict has any particular outcome whether it was resolved or whether it was not resolved is the last stage which is the aftermath stage each and every conflict that we have ever been a part of has to go through these different stages and that is what is important to understand we are now folks getting into a very important segment of our module on conflict management which is the theory known as Thomas Gilman theory well this particular Thomas Gilman theory was coined by two gentlemen Kenneth Thomas and Russ Gilman in the Year 1974 this particular terminology Thomas Gilman came into being because these two gentlemen observed that conflicts are there everywhere and people behave in a different manner in these different situation no two people are alike and everyone has a different way of behaving in a conflict situation so we will understand two terminologies cooperativeness and assertiveness well conflict has these two dimensions where and we understand on one hand or one dimension we will understand assertiveness which is nothing but understanding how a person reacts to a particular situation when he is in a conflicting situation and cooperating it which means how or the extent to which a person is able to go beyond the call of duty or rather help out others by being cooperativeness so assertiveness is thinking about yourself and cooperativeness is thinking about others in a conflicting situation now we will understand accommodating collaborating avoiding and competitive these are four different behaviors of people when they are in a conflicting situation you might have a person who is very competitive meaning in a conflicting situation his whole ideology is he's very very assertive so high on assertiveness but low on competitiveness rather I would say he is somebody who wants to make people lose so that he can win and that is not a good behavior to have when you are too competitive and you don't really care about others and only care about yourself on the exact opposite of competitiveness is accommodating accommodating is the complete opposite of competitiveness meaning it is low on assertiveness so you don't really have a same things because you don't feel like putting yourself first but at the same time you have very high regards for the people so when we are talking about accommodating you try to let go of yourself so that you can make somebody else happy in a conflicting situation the third kind is avoiding people who are falling under this category they are low on assertiveness and also low on cooperativeness which means to say that these are the kind of people who run away from conflict whenever they are placed in a situation where there are a lot of disagreements and difference of opinions they just leave the situation and run for their life these are people who completely avoid conflicts and that is again not a good sign on the complete opposite of avoiding is the collaborating state in a collaborating stage these are people who are very high on assertiveness and also very high on cooperativeness collaboration is a very good strategy or a very good behavior to have because it is a win-win situation you like to put yourself assertiveness in high regard at the same time you like to think about others and lead or rather come to a consensus which makes both the parties happy and a win-win situation so my dear friends these are four different behaviors in the middle you have compromising which is nothing but finding a middle ground compromising is very closely related with collaborative nature because in this compromising situation also you try to let go of some of your things so that another person can have a win-win situation so these are different theories or different behaviors with regards to Thomas Gilman I would like to suggest that there is a very nice questionnaire related with Thomas Gilman theory I would want you all to take that test and find out which score do you get and what category do you really fall into well now we are going to discuss on different forms of conflict conflict can be functional or it can be dysfunctional sometime back we had discussed that not all conflict is bad conflict can also be cut right so functional conflict is related with good conflict and dysfunctional conflict is related with bad conflict in an organization when people are working together there are bound to be difference of opinions well functional conflict helps in certain way because it helps to walk towards the goals of an organization or a group when people involved in a conflict try to resolve the differences the disagreements and opinions etc that is what is functional conflict conflict which is constructive which helps to come to a consensus is known as constructive conflict and rather it is also helping in providing a solution to the problem it increases the information and ideas because people share their points of view people share and express themselves which leads to having good information and ideas it encourages innovative and creative thinking and I am sure all of us agree that it's important to have creativity when you're working in an organization this helps for that it unshackles different points of views and also it reduces stagnancy when we talk about reducing stagnancy what we are really saying is that people think of fresh people think of a different point of opinion rather than the same coming to dysfunctional aspect of or form of conflict this is a kind of conflict wherein people only focus on the conflict and not on achieving a solution or working towards the goal of the organization they are so involved in that particular conflict that it leads to bad behavior and you do not really achieve the goals of the organization so it blocks an organization or group from reaching its goals it gives rise to a lot of tension anxiety and people don't trust each other it drives out low conference or low tolerant people poor decision from lack of innovation because people are not very innovative or creative in dysfunctional conflict hence if they are not creative it leads to poor decision-making and it reduces or rather it increases stagnancy these are all areas where in dysfunctional conflict comes so what I would suggest friends is go for functional conflict because it helps you to achieve the goals of the organization we are now entering into a very important segment which is understanding how can we manage conflict so there are certain strategies different theories which we have discussed before but now what we are understanding is how do we manage conflict so let's understand whenever you're faced in a conflicting situation it's important to just remain calm and composed do not blow up or do not kind of have an argument whenever somebody shouting at you or having a different of opinion it's important just remain calm secondly let the other person do the talking let them vent out let them express themselves as much as they want and you just have to listen to them so let them vent out consider the other person's point of view it's important to empathize a person who's in a conflicting situation might share a lot of things with you on a personal or a professional level so it's important to really understand what they're seeing and empathize with them next is understanding that there is a lot of power in these words which is known as yes I understand what you are seeing it's important that when you are in a conflicting situation let the other person know that you are on their side not on anybody else's side so say things like yes I understand what you're saying and that is correct using positive words is very important if a situation turns wobbly abusive please do not take it completely put a halt or a stop to it you have your own self respect and never ever let anybody else put you down by wobbling abusing you so if it gets really nasty put a stop to it right away if you are wrong admit it quickly and take responsibility there is no harm in saying I apologized or I'm sorry and taking responsibility for your actions if you are wrong you're wrong learn how to take responsibility for your actions and last but not the least use the power of visualization visualize that the conflict has resolved visualized that the conflict has ended beautifully for a win-win situation for everybody and that is the power of visualization so friends these are certain tips and tricks which you can use to manage your conflict wherever you are in a better manner well to conclude this particular topic or module on conflict management we have understood a lot in detail about conflict I would only urge you to start using these principles these theories and understand and manage conflict in a better manner where there at home or at work please thank you all for listening to us and please do like and share this video

Channel: Tutorials Point (India) Ltd.

Views: 65,262

Rating: 4.9051986 out of 5

Keywords: Soft Skills - Conflict Management, Conflict Management, Soft Skills

Id: 4RB1i1sVVc0

Length: 20min 35sec (1235 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 12 2018