It's been back to school season in the US
for a few months, and that means only one thing for most elementary kids and their parents:
it's lice season! The much-dreaded tiny animal is notorious
for infecting the heads of children, who often don't practice the same hygiene practices
that adults do and thus leave themselves vulnerable to infection. All it takes is one child, and soon an entire
classroom can be host to these tiny little creepy-crawleys. But what happens if you actually do get lice? And what's the best treatment for them? Once more we're turning to our favorite lab
rat as we challenge him to deal with a lice infestation! Day 1: What the actual bleep- is literally
what I said on the phone with the Infographics Show after they sent me an email telling me
my next challenge. It's back to school season!, they said, people
want to know about lice!, they said, you could help people find out how to treat them!, they
said. And after a renegotiation of my fee, I finally
relented and accepted. The next day, today, I got a package via private
courier, and after signing for it I brought it inside and just stared at it, knowing what
was inside. Finally, I opened the box up and revealed
several plastic tubes, and inside were what looked like small white dots. Except they were moving. I was holding a box full of lice, and pretty
soon, they were going in my hair, just so I could find out what the best way to destroy
them was. Well, I could just chuck them in a fire right
now and that'd sort it out, wouldn't it, but no, that's not what I'm getting paid to do-
and believe me, I'm getting paid very well for what I'm about to do. So first, I'm home alone, which is the only
way I could do this challenge. The girlfriend is in Canada filming something
or else I know there'd be no way she would let me do this. She's a clean freak, and infesting myself
on purpose with lice ranks up there with... honestly, I don't know. There is nothing I could compare it to, but
I'm pretty sure she would make me move out and only allow me back in when she's run me
through full military nuclear, biological, chemical warfare decontamination techniques. I told her over the phone and she just gave
off a really deep sigh. I think a year ago she would've put up a fight,
but by now she just sort of accepts the insanity I go through sometimes for my job. She made me swear I would boil all our sheets
and basically clean the entire house when it was over and before she got home, so thanks,
Infographics. Ok, so that's the effect these little buggers
are already having on my social life, what can I expect them to do to me physically? Well, lice come in three varieties: head lice,
body lice, and the infamous pubic lice or crabs. Pubic lice are kind of a misnomer though,
because any lice you get in your crotch are automatically pubic lice. Basically, all lice live amongst your hairs,
and then move down to your skin so they can bite you and feed on your blood, like tiny,
disgusting little vampires. The resulting bites can become itchy and though
lice are not generally thought to be disease vectors, their bites can be so itchy that
you inadvertently tear the skin open and cause infection. Not gonna lie, I am relieved to hear that
there's little risk of these things carrying disease, plus Infographics promised me they
were quote- laboratory-level sterile- end quote, whatever in the world that means. You know what? I don't want to know. I literally have no desire to know from where
in the world Infographics got their hands on what are apparently, medical-quality lice. I did do some research online and apparently,
you can even get lice in the mail though, but I very quickly ended my search. So I'm going to be testing a variety of different
treatments for getting rid of lice, and I'll be purposefully pouring them into my hair. I've never had pubic lice and never intend
to, so that's off-limits. I'll start with some homeopathic remedies
and then move on to the real stuff, actual medicine. Spoiler alert: homeopathy is not a thing,
so I'm confident none of those remedies will actually work, hence why I saved the real
medicine for last. The treatments I'll try are: tea tree oil,
lavender oil, vodka- yes, you heard that right- and finally, actual medicine in the form of
shampoo designed to kill lice and their eggs. Looking at this list, I'm actually kind of
thinking the vodka may have a pretty good chance of killing off the lice along with
the shampoo, and I'm talking about real vodka here, not the wimpy stuff you buy at the grocery
store. I once was assigned to teach firearms handling
to Ukranian forces and they introduced me to Ukranian vodka so strong it'll strip rust
off steel bolts, and you can totally buy it online. My first try nearly burned a hole through
my gut, so I'm pretty confident this is going to destroy the lice. Treatment 1: Tea Tree Oil Ok, so lice went into the hair a few days
ago, and per the instructions I was given, I gave them a day to settle in. You know, unpack their bags, get used to their
new home, which is my freaking head. But also because apparently these guys do
not live very long without a human or animal host because they starve to death, which explains
why I was sent so many lice at once- apparently at least half were probably dead already. Their one free day was so they could feed
and recuperate, and if you don't think I wasn't freaking out over purposefully playing host
to a bunch of bugs in my hair, then you're thinking wrong. We love tea tree oil, don't we? I mean you see it touted online as the solution
to literally anything. Apparently aboriginals in Australia used it
for its medicinal properties for thousands of years, and it does have some medicinal
qualities to it. And it's all natural, which means overprivileged
First Worlders geek out and pay a 3,000% markup for it. I get it, it just feels good to use something
all natural, just like mother nature intended. Don't take harsh chemicals or drugs, just
fall into the loving arms of mother gaia, and let her love heal the hurt away with all
natural vibes. Except it didn't work. At all. I applied it extremely generously to my head
and let it sit for a half hour, then rinsed it out. Got out a nit comb I picked up at the store
and started going through my hair- there were a number of clearly dead lice, but it seems
like most were happily moving around, going about their lives. Probably thanking me for the all-organic bath
they just had while going to their local lice starbucks for a nice lice frappucino made
from fair trade beans. So I repeated the treatment again a day later,
once more doused my head with tea tree oil, let it sit, rinsed it out. Ran comb through my hair, same result. Not as many dead lice as the first time, still
plenty of living lice. I did it one more time, exact same result. So tea tree oil clearly has some anti-lice
properties, but as is the problem with every homeopathic treatment, those properties are
in too low concentrations to really have a definitive effect. That's why drugs and chemical treatments are
so much more effective, they concentrate the effective ingredients to a level that homeopathy
doesn't even approach. If you're a fan of Ted Talks, there's one
given by James Randi where he eats an entire bottle of homeopathic medicine at once, which
he can of course totally do because the only active ingredients in the entire bottle are
in such low quantities that they have practically no effect on the body. Try that with real medicine though and well,
you'll probably really hurt yourself. Treatment 2: Lavender Oil So I gave my little lice buddies a few days
to recuperate from the tea tree oil, and my head's been an itchy mess. I've been purposefully not leaving the house
because, well, I have a head full of lice, so other than dealing with itchiness, it's
been kind of lonely and boring. Also, I miss my girlfriend, but I'm glad she's
not here to deal with this. Alright, lavender oil, how did it work? Well, if possible, lavender oil worked even
less than tea tree oil, which I would label about 50% effective. I'm giving lavender oil about 30% effective,
and I'm pretty sure that none of the dead lice I found were actually killed by anything
in the oil itself, probably just drowned to death. If you go to clearlice.com and look up lavender
oil, it'll tell you all about how evil over-the-counter medicines and shampoos are dangerous for you. They use hot-button words like “chemicals”,
“pesticides”, and “neurological and developmental problems”. What they don't do is give any perspective. Yes, the chemicals involved in over-the-counter
treatments could in fact be harmful, but only if you were to consume them in astronomically
high doses. One of these chemicals, Permethrin, is found
in many lice shampoo treatments, but if you search for its toxicity you'll find that the
dose at which it becomes lethal for 50% of test rats exposed to it is 270mg per kg of
body weight- and even then only if injected directly into the veins of the animal. When you extrapolate that to human toxicity,
you'll basically have to inject an entire bottle of lice shampoo directly into your
veins for it to have a 50% chance of killing you. Honestly, if you're getting adverse effects
from lice shampoo it's probably because you're supposed to be using it on your head, not
injecting it into your freaking veins. Oh, also at clearlice.com they explicitly
say that lavender oil does not kill lice, yet thousands of websites recommend it as
an all-natural treatment. That's... kind of hilarious. Treatment 3: Vodka Hey you know what's super not a good idea? Pouring 170 proof vodka imported from Eastern
Europe directly onto your scalp. Do you guys remember the terrible Ghost Rider
movie? Yeah, that's exactly what my head felt like
after bending over in front of the tub and pouring very strong- and very expensive- vodka
into my hair. I'm not going to lie, I tried it once, because
I can only take feeling like I'm being chemically scalped once in my life. I hear it's a popular remedy in Russia, but
Russians also commonly throw babies into snow banks before major surgeries to slow their
heart rates. I'm not saying it's not effective, I'm just
saying... there's more, non-Russian ways of doing things. As far as killing lice? Honestly, I don't know, I couldn't even stand
touching my head for a day after this so I didn't even bother checking. Pretty sure all I did was give my head lice
the best party of their life. Treatment: Actual Medicine Ok, so for my final treatment I went ahead
and consulted with a pharmacist who recommended a specific type of shampoo. Apparently lice are becoming resistant to
the chemicals we've been using for decades, which makes sense, that's just how evolution
goes. So the pharmacist recommended a shampoo that
uses dimeticone, a type of silicone. If you love homeopathy and fear chemicals,
then this is the stuff for you, because it kills lice mechanically, rather than with
chemicals that attack its biology. The dimeticone physically coats the lice,
and essentially makes it impossible for them to 'breathe', which kills them. It is less effective on eggs, but that's why
you're supposed to continue the treatment over the course of several days, killing the
new generation before it has a chance to lay eggs. So that's what I did, and let me tell you-
this stuff stinks. It smells really strong, and you have to leave
it in for several hours, which is not a huge selling point to be honest. But later that night I rinsed it out and ran
a comb through my hair, and found more dead lice than I've found to date with any other
treatment. I kept repeating the treatment and each day
I was finding less and less live lice. This was clearly the most effective method
I've tried yet. It's now been a week since my last treatment
and I'm happy to report that I appear to be 100% lice free. This has been a horrible past few weeks, and
one of the grossest challenges I've done, but I take some small satisfaction in knowing
that I murdered an entire generation of lice while they were still virgins. Small payback, but I'll take it. Have you ever had lice? How would you try to treat them if you got
them? Let us know in the comments! And if you like this video don't forget to
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