The public bathroom- is there anything more
reviled and disgusting, yet completely frustratingly necessary in our civilization than the communal
pot? Study after study have shown that public restrooms
are germ factories, and if you've seen some of our own episodes on the subject then you
probably haven't used a public restroom since! But what if that was your only option? What if your sacred porcelain throne was forever
out of reach and your only recourse was to use a public bathroom instead, every single
day, every single time? We're once more delving into the deepest scientific
mysteries known to man and forcing your favorite, and our least important, writer to use only
public bathrooms for a week straight! Day 1: Thanks YouTube. Really, I mean it, thank you so much for feeding
the Satanists who run The Infographics Show even more ridiculous ways to make my life
as inconvenient, disgusting, and painful as possible. What's next, YouTube? Challenge: I ate only live hornets for a month
straight?! I should probably keep my mouth shut and not
give Infographics any ideas, but I'm pretty sure even they wouldn't go that far. Not gonna lie though, I had second and then
third thoughts about that last statement. So here's the thing, my girlfriend used to
hate these challenges, and sometimes she still does. The no lying for a week pretty much torpedoed
our social life, and she made me sleep in the sofa when I couldn't shower for a month
straight. But lately she's kind of been enjoying these
new challenges, I don't know if she sees it as payback for my other shenanigans, but I
swear I see little devil horns growing on her head when I tell her things like, “Hey
babe, guess what I can't use the bathroom in the house for the next week.” I swear she's in cahoots with the Infographics
staff. Ok, so no house bathroom for a week. I had to sit down and think out the logistics
of this one, because obviously this means I'll have to be trying to find a public bathroom
every single time I have to use one. The dog gets to pee and poop outside and nobody
bats an eye, but I'm pretty sure that if I tried the same thing someone would call the
police. Talk about double standards, it's the exact
same stuff! So, in order to make this feasible I plotted
out all the local businesses and their hours of operation. Luckily I happen to live literally right next
door to a 7-11, so popping over next door in the middle of the night for a wiz is no
problem. I go in there all the time now for years so
I'm pretty familiar with the guys behind the counter, and I think it'll be no big deal
to use the bathroom, even in the middle of the night. There is also a Starbucks across the street
which is great because their bathroom is open in the seating area, as opposed to the 7-11
bathroom which is in the employees only area. That means I don't have to ask permission
at Starbucks, and I've already decided on a cover story for using the bathroom everywhere
else: my apartment is undergoing renovations. Luckily for me I've always been on good terms
with the guys who run the 7-11 next door too, so I'm pretty sure I'll have reliable access
to that toilet for emergencies. There is also a gas station across the street,
but again that one is the type where you have to ask for a key, and to be perfectly honest
I think I've been inside it like twice in the last seven years I've lived here. I think my strategy is going to be to spread
out the bathrooms I use so that I don't wear out my welcome anywhere, or at least so people
don't think I'm the biggest weirdo on planet earth. I think the gas station would be good for
two, maybe three visits tops though just because I am really not familiar with the staff there. There is though a large grocery store also
across the street, but theirs are also the types of bathrooms you have to ask to use. I go there pretty regularly but after my wearing
women's makeup for a week and the no lying for a week stunts I'm not sure how welcome
I am to be frequenting their bathrooms. They already probably think I'm the weirdest
person in town, and I really don't want to add to my reputation. There is thankfully a Carl's Jr also across
the street though which I can use anytime because they are 24/7 restaurant and the bathrooms
there are also public. Ok, so I have my battleplan and I've plotted
out my number two locations for the next week. Honestly, doing all this work to figure out
where I'm going to be dropping deuces for the next seven days kind of made me realize
that my life is... very weird. I can just imagine trying to explain my job
to someone, “oh how was work this week?”, “well, I just had to calculate where I was
going to do my bathroom business for the last seven days, you know normal 9 to 5 stuff.” See you guys in a few days. Day 4: Ok, well I'm not entirely sure what
kind of resources Infographics has at its disposal, but I'm really trying to not believe
that they have the power to shut down an entire restaurant while simultaneously breaking the
toilet in a completely separate venue. Here's the thing, remember how earlier this
week I said I was going to use Carl's Jr. and the 7-11 for most of my around-the-clock
toilet needs? Well on day 2 the Carl's Jr which has been
happily doing business right across the street for the seven years that I've been living
here, suddenly closed up. A sign on the door says that it's closed down
for good, and won't you please visit our other location that's only three freaking miles
away! Talk about a wrench in the plans, but wait
because as our good friend Billy Mays, may he rest in peace, would say, there's more:
on day 3 the toilet at 7-11 broke. My primary and then my backup locations for
round-the-clock toilet access are officially gone. And what's worse is that those were the only
24 hour spots that are open around here. The gas station across the street only leaves
the pumps on at night, no employee inside. I've always loved where we live at, because
even though it's in the middle of the city, it's in an area that's not too developed with
businesses, and is mostly residential. That means no traffic, and no giant office
buildings and all the noise that goes along with city life. Instead we have parks, trees, grass, and places
to play fetch with your dog. It also means that if you're dumb enough to
have a job that requires you to not do your business at home for a full week, you're kind
of SOL when it comes to late-night bathrooms to use. It's not like I can just go knock on my neighbor's
door at 2 am and ask to use the can. So I found a solution for my late night problems,
and it's not perfect, and I'm not particularly happy about it, but, well, it works for me. I got the inspiration from my dog, and I can
bet most of you already know where this is going. See, he gets to pee and poo basically anywhere
he pleases as long as its outside, and like the stupid humans that we are, we come along
behind him and pick up his poop with plastic bags, which really begs the question of who's
the actual master in the relationship. No, I'm not going in plastic bags, but believe
you me, it's not like the thought didn't cross my mind. Instead, I'm going natural. There's a large empty lot a short walk across
the street from my apartment complex where huge power lines run through. It's fenced off with a low fence and ringed
on both sides by houses with their own walls or fences. There's a keep out sign posted there because
of the big power pylons and some water works plumbing, but I usually ignore it and take
the dog in there to throw the ball and let him run around off the leash. This is my new bathroom, and it's perfect
because there's trees at the front that block line of sight from the field to the road. It is the perfect place for incognito poos,
but I'm not going to lie, I feel like a criminal sneaking off to drop a deuce in secret and
out in public. Again, the dog does it literally every day,
but I'm pretty sure it's a criminal offense if I got caught. As far as my regular public restroom use goes
though, oh man, it's bad. What is it with people that when they get
into a public restroom they literally lose their damn minds? You can take a normal civilized human being
who regularly uses a toilet at home and then stick them in a public restroom and they walk
away leaving a catastrophe behind. It's like people literally don't understand
how to use sinks and turn them on full blast so water goes everywhere, or like they've
just had hand transplant surgery and their pee goes literally everywhere. And don't get me started on the biggest mystery
of all- why in the blue blazes do people not flush their turds after dropping them? What could possibly compel a normal person
to drop a deuce in a public toilet, and then literally just walk away like it’s the normal
thing to do. I get that most public toilets are automatic-
which by the way I suspect are only automatic because of this exact problem- but I'm pretty
sure your toilet at home isn't an automatic. You know how to flush, why do you have to
be this way? But the biggest mystery is when there’s
no toilet paper in the bowl. That's right, somebody did their business
and then literally just walked away. Just drop and go. No wipe, no flush, just plop and turbo on
out of the bathroom. Day 7: I have to hand it to the Infographics
show, because they consistently make me grateful for the things I have in my life by denying
me their use. I never fail to appreciate a shower lately
after that month-long fiasco of no showers, and I practically tell my phone “I love
you” every morning after a week of no phone use. My home toilet is no different. I don't have an excuse though, I've been deployed
before when I was in the military and I'm no stranger to lacking facilities. I guess I've gone soft though, because I definitely
have not appreciated my toilet as much as I should have, and this week of using nothing
but public restrooms has taught me the error of my overprivileged ways. What can I say about my experience? How can I possibly sum this up for you viewers
at home? It's equal parts terrible and disgusting. Someone once said that you can judge how civilized
a society is by the way they treat their prisoners, but they were wrong. Dead wrong. You can judge how civilized a society is by
the state of its public restrooms, and the state of America's public restrooms are an
absolute nightmare. If aliens came to earth and wanted to know
how enlightened they were, they would step into a public restroom and immediately rush
out laying waste to our entire planet with their death rays just to keep us from spreading
into the galaxy. We are Neanderthals who after tens of thousands
of years haven't yet figured out what proper bathroom etiquette is. Here's some simple rules based off my observations
of public restrooms over the last week: first, flush. If your toilet isn't automatic, hit the flush
lever. If it is automatic and it doesn't flush, hit
the button, there's always one. Then, calmly make your way to the sink and
simply turn on the water to a moderate and reasonable pressure. Don't parkour across all the stalls and blast
the water like you're putting out a seven story fire. Then, take a single paper towel and dry your
hands, don't rip every paper towel out of the holder and start to shred it into confetti
like you're throwing a bathroom-themed brazilian carnaval. Oh, and if you need to number two, then for
the sake of everyone around you, wipe before you leave. How some people haven't figured this one out
yet is beyond me. Think you could forego toilet privileges in
your own home for a week? What other challenges can you think of? Let us know in the comments! And as always if you enjoyed this video don't
forget to Like, Share, and Subscribe for more great content!
Outstanding