SML Movie: Mr. Goodman's Baby [REUPLOADED]

[Music] [Music] jeffy what was that toilet paper blaster where'd you get that at i found it jeffy there's no way you found that look don't shoot me with it well i'm showing you on my toilet paper blaster daddy look jeffy look you can play with it as long as you don't shoot me go shoot something else fine darning who could that be uh hello hey mario let me in it's an emergency come on what's that don't ask questions why don't you just let me in okay come on so what's going on mario he's sleeping it's my baby you had another kid yeah and you're the father mario how am i the father because you [ __ ] me when you didn't pay your house payment you got me pregnant say hello to your kid mario okay what's really going on i [ __ ] up mario you yeah me i [ __ ] up i don't usually [ __ ] up but when i do it's big it's eight pounds three ounces big that's enough about my wiener he's seven pounds six ounces biggest mistake in my life mario well if he's a mistake then why'd you have them i want to have them it all started nine months ago mario i wanted to take yoga classes so i hired a private yoga instructor she was hot as [ __ ] i'm talking hottest [ __ ] mario and she was teaching me yoga poses she was downward dog and i was upward me and nine months later we had existing hymn okay well then why'd you bring it here it has a name mario his name is benjamin benjamin franklin goodman i named him after the guy that's on my favorite piece of money benjamin franklin oh okay well then why'd you bring benjamin here because i need you to watch him mario okay how long do you need me to watch him for 18 years 18 years mario he's sleeping 18 years wide off the water for 18 years because i don't want to pay child support to the yoga instructor so i need you to watch him so i can get out of paying child support okay then why don't you watch him i don't want him mario so i figured since you already have a kid you'd like another one you already have a kid i know but i don't want this one oh i don't want to watch a baby for 18 years well mario he's not going to be a baby for 18 years he's going to be a baby for like maybe two years then he's going to be a toddler then an adolescent then a teenager and then he's gonna be an adult and then once he's an adult just kick his ass out why don't you do that mario i don't want to i don't want you to do i don't want to do it either mario please take him oh what am i gonna get out of it uh i'll i'll make sure you don't have a house payment for two months two months okay three months three months okay mario fine i'll pay your house off what you'll pay my house off yeah i'm not i'm not sure if that's worth it either oh mario i guess i'll how about i i offer you money wait you'll pay me sure wait let go of it oh i can't i can't give you money mario what it hurt you that bad yeah how about how about i just pay off your house for you mario okay fine fine i guess we'll do that then great thanks for you oh man what did i get myself into i don't know how to take care of a baby what jeffy jeffy i said shoot other things with that toilet paper blaster and that baby is another thing daddy well then no more shooting babies sorry [Applause] oh you can talk of course i can talk and i'm hungry and i want my bottle oh okay hold on where where where i don't want that [ __ ] i want my bottle well your bottle where do i get that ad my daddy left the whole bag of things that he thought you might need and i want my bottle where okay i got your bottle feed me oh okay oh that tastes good i can taste the money oh okay well look you just eat that and i'll use some toys to play with all right benjamin i got you this toy to play with i finished my bottle now i feel rich and strong in about an hour i'm gonna [ __ ] 20 grand well well i'm very happy you finished your bottle and i can't wait to change your diaper but um i got you this toy what kind of toy is this it teaches you your farm animals farm animals i don't ever plan on living on a farm i'm not poor well it teaches your animals so look just pull the lever right the cow says i love you cody kids oh that's weird because i thought the cow said i can't wait to be turned into a filet mignon cooked medium rare peppercorn with a side of asparagus yup yup that's what a cow says i know now get this shitty toy out of my sight well you don't want to learn the sounds of animals no i want you to go get me my toy learn the sounds of being rich up to my back oh okay all right i went in your bag and got you this to learn the sounds of being rich toy oh that's more like it the yacht goes to the bahamas god damn right it does the butler says your bath is ready sir there better be bubbles in that [ __ ] the rolex goes on your wrist which one the right or the left be specific stupid toy [ __ ] go to the courthouse to sign a prenup and then they go to my bedroom so we can bang the lamborghini goes to the strip club to look at big fake hoo-hoos the private jet goes to paris for dinner eating escargot snails and [ __ ] the money goes into your swiss bank account so the irs can't find it chi-ching now throw the toy away i hate it i want new toys okay oh okay i'll get your new toys i'll get your new drivers okay benjamin look at the cool new toys i got you what kind of poor kid toys are these they're not poor kid toys look they're fun look it's a rattle or a maraca and watch wow my rich privileged ears are now bleeding where's the mozart where's the beethoven well you're a baby you're supposed to like loud noises like look [Music] you get that tinker toy [ __ ] out of my face okay what toys do you want to play with then go in my bag and get my money gun right now money gun go get it okay is this what you wanted yes now point that at my face and pull the trigger i'm not gonna shoot a baby pull the trigger i'm ready for my shower shower pull the trigger okay oh fresh 100 bills feels so good on my baby skin oh yes so good on my baby skin you know what would feel better on your baby skin some sunlight and some fresh air so let's go outside i don't want to go outside that's where poor people are you're not going to run in and deport people okay there's no poor people out there let's just get some fresh air okay but my immune system can't handle that yet all right benjamin are you ready for some fresh air where it's [ __ ] hot outside benjamin you need some fresh air oh look at the cute baby and look at your titties how much those cost you [ __ ] but stop it how about you pull that shirt down and let me bob for some titties oh sir what are you teaching your kid well i'm not teaching about healing he's not my kid i didn't teach him anything i'm babysitting him and i would never tell him to do something so rude like that to you i mean unless you wanted it i mean they're very nice but i i've never taken them do that hey [ __ ] what are you doing she's got two titties one for me one for you let's get after no no no no no no benjamin we'll leave we're going home no hey [ __ ] don't you [ __ ] buck me don't you ruin this we're going home we're going home damn you oh benjamin that was absolutely ridiculous the way you talked to that woman well i'm sorry i like big hoo-hoos and you don't well i like big hoo-hoos i never said i didn't like them well clearly you don't like big hoo-hoos because i was trying to squeeze melons and you ran away like a little girl well there's no guarantee that she was gonna let us squeeze the the melons well listen you miss every shot you don't take and i was trying to shoot my shop i'm steph [ __ ] curry from half court who are you j.r [ __ ] smith i'm not j.r smith oh yes you are and i want to hear that dirty little mouth of yours admit it well i'm not going to be what's going on i just took a big double decker crap right in my diaper and you're gonna wipe me well i'm not gonna wipe you oh yes the [ __ ] you are you better go get some wipes um uh well you know i don't want to wipe it so uh uh you know what i i gotta call someone i gotta call someone so i'll be right back fresh diaper and wipes okay i'm a call broken guy and maybe he can help me with this baby situation hey mario what's up what do you need me to be huh cop a doctor oh a stripper maybe huh no no no i don't need any jobs from you uh i was wondering to know if you wanted to come over and hang out but hang out like like friends yeah yeah yeah i i can hang out i'm just sitting here on my couch drinking alone so yeah i i can come over in like 10 minutes that'd be perfect yeah just come over and we can hang out and do a lot of cool stuff that sounds great okay i'll be right over best buddy yeah best best buddy all right all right all right that's good all right so you can help me with this baby situation because oh my god it's getting too much uh hello hey buddy what's up man oh god you're drunk oh no i'm i'm not drunk yeah you know what you're you're drunk huh ah about that huh like you're like just just go home hey hey your house is weird your house has like a button over here that makes a loud noise you you hear that what what what is that you got you got like a bird in here something hooked up to that button that's a that's called a doorbell oh you know why speaking of noises i can make a noise you want to hear my noise sure i i i usually it makes like a whistle like a whistle sound but it it's not working i think it's broken or something well well i'm sorry to hear that uh-huh uh hey hey hey hey hey you do you have any more of these this is empty but i might have some in the fridge yeah just come on in okay thanks for the beer yeah don't mention it are you okay oh yeah i was trying to swallow my own tongue see if i could do it no you can't do it it's just a myth hurry up and change my damn diaper talking baby with a little mustache yeah i need your help changing his diaper but you're no help now i'm gonna go get a new diaper i'll be right back hey hey hey and all baby shut the hell up you drunk piece of [ __ ] hey hey hey baby you you listen to me hey you you you enjoy being a baby while it lasts okay because when you grow up life is gonna it's gonna kill you life sucks okay you're gonna get old and then you're gonna be in debt and then you're gonna get divorced and then and then and then you're gonna have kids and they're gonna hate you and then they're gonna get in debt and they're gonna get divorced and it you know it sucks and when you cry nobody brings you a bottle you have to you have to find your own bottle this is my bottle and then and then you join a book club for old ladies and then they all die and you're alone just reading books by yourself and this sucks [Applause] oh okay i don't need two people crying go lay down downstairs oh okay let me change your diaper let's see what you got here oh it smells so bad wait where's the poop my [ __ ] is an atm and you can take that [ __ ] to the bank literally you poop cash yeah and my brother richard he shits gold bricks he's my father's favorite that's probably why he got rid of me instead of him well don't you worry buddy because i'll never get rid of you i love you oh gay now go get me a shrimp cocktail and some couscous oh coming right up buddy i'll get you whatever you want great hold on let me see who's at the door all right uh hello goodman what are you doing here first of all you clean up that broken bottle before i slip and cut myself and sue your homeowner's insurance for everything that you have which isn't much second of all i want my son back your son back why why well i spoke with my cpa and come to find out the more kids you have the less money you have to pay on your taxes and i [ __ ] hate taxes so i want my son back well i love benjamin and we're having so much fun together and you said that i have to watch it for 18 years and look you don't have to worry about paying my house payment i'll pay it just don't worry about that well mario i don't care about that i want my son back right now but he poops money and i piss cream cheese some say it's an infection but i say it's delicious what yeah so if you have a bagel i'll show you look i i really just want to keep your son i love him so much benjamin's the best son ever mario you better go give me my son or else i'm gonna call the cops well go ahead because the cops are drunk in the living room mario go get me my goddamn son right now okay well benjamin i guess this is goodbye you're the best son ever and i love you will i hate you and your poor house let's go dad okay son i really miss benjamin but at least i get to keep all this cash what jeff you

Channel: SML Reuploaded

Views: 1,721,612

Keywords: sml, supermariologan, reupload, video, reuploaded, from, movie, mr, goodman's, goodman, baby

Id: VMV7R2td7-Y

Length: 15min 5sec (905 seconds)

Published: Thu May 13 2021