Skydiving, salsa and leadership, seriously?: Thaddeus Lawrence at TEDxSingapore

[Applause] so just over a decade ago i decided that i needed a little bit more excitement into my life i needed a little bit more danger in my life so i took up skydiving as a hobby i found myself a drop zone and i signed up for lessons and right from day one we were drilled on the most fundamental skill of skydiving and that is the stable body position now to get into the stable body position one needs to only think of one word arch so you arch your back open up your arms and bend your legs at the knees and naturally you would find yourself flying in what we call the belly to earth position now it's a position that gives you maximum control in the sky and allows you to deploy your parachute safely so at every single jump we were drilled on this aspect then came my 25th jump peculiarly the name of that stage was called unstable exit now i wasn't sure exactly what i was expected to perform but i think the name did give a useful hint so i was assigned my instructor who explained it all to me and he said that is there will be times in your skydiving when something will go awry in the sky you might hit the aircraft on your way out someone might bump into you or maneuver could unexpectedly break apart now any of those will throw you off balance and it will be critical and crucial that you are able to get back into the stable body position now in order for me to assess your competency in that i need to deliberately get you out of the plane in an unstable position hence unstable exit so this is how it's going to work he says imagine on a plane and a plane is flying in that direction and you're seated on the floor of the aeroplane looking towards the back of the aircraft now on the side there'll be a door and above the door there'll be two sets of lights one red one green now once we get up to an altitude of 12 000 feet the red light will come on that means prepare to jump now as a job master i will open up the door and when the pilot determines that it is now safe to jump please go ahead he will turn on the green light now at that point i like you to come to the door and get right up to the edge without falling out and turn and face the inside of the aircraft then i'm going to get you to squat all the way down bring your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around your legs now i'm going to be inside the aircraft and i'll be holding on to your chest strap and i will count ready set go on go i will give you a push and you would tumble out the aircraft at that point all you will see is blue green blue green blue green the blue of the sky and the green of the fields below i like it to count to three revolutions and then arch and get back into your stable body position i'll be inside the aircraft watching you the moment i see that you're able to arch into your stable position i will pass you for this stage if you do not get into your body a stable body position i will fail you but then again fatty as if you do not get into the stable body position failing this course will be the least of your worries [Applause] but i know you will do it and i know you can do it all right and oh by the way thaddeus this is gonna be the best jump ever and all i could think of at that time was no it's not it's a stupid jump it's risky and it's full hearty i'm not sure i want to and to be honest i'm not sure i can but somehow i found myself following him to the aircraft and i took my position on the floor aircraft facing the back now the ride up to altitude is uneventful until the red light comes on my drum master opens up the door and immediately the relative quiet and calm of the cabin is replaced by this howl of the wind and the raw of the engines and this freezing biting cold and at this point my mind is just racing at terminal velocity and i can't even hear myself think and all too soon the green light comes on and somehow above all that din of that noise i hear my instructor going to the door to the door and i inch there getting up right up to it like oh god it's high and i'm turning around i'm thinking okay what okay squad all the way down my knees and i'm just about going there and i'm looking into the eyes of my instructor looking for some reassurance and some hope and i'm just barely halfway there when he goes go you know what it's like the feeling of betrayal that was me falling on the aircraft and immediately i'm flipping i'm flopping in the air i'm turning in on involuntary cartwheels and it's not so much blue green blue and green as it is blue green legs arms and everything's flying everywhere i'm in this mile high washing machine on spinner mode and after three revolutions i think i got arch and it works i get into that stable position my heart begins to emerge back out of my mouth and all is calm again and i deploy my parachute and i ride safely down to earth and the moment i get down there my instructor comes up to me and he goes so thaddeus how was it that's the best drum of my life now that instructor took me for just that one jump and i can't for the life of me remember his name but i'll never forget his push because in that one jump he taught me a valuable lesson in fact he gave me a demonstration of what is it that leaders do that leaders would push you out of that false assurance of your comfort zone into the space of real growth and exceptional performance leaders will push you beyond your own perceived limits and leaders will push you towards surpassing yourself even if you didn't think you could in the beginning about two years after that i decided i was going to take another step out of my comfort zone that was really now truly going to lift life at the edge and to conquer a near paralyzing fear i took up dancing lessons specifically salsa dancing now those of you who are familiar with salsa you would know that it's an energetic dance and it's rhythmic and it's as addictive as it is seductive and this is a beautiful central dance so i signed up for lessons once again and to see salsa dancers always looking as if they're having so much fun and they hone their skills by changing partners and learning to dance with different people and our instructor used to tell us at every lesson he said guys if you really want to be a dancer or to learn how to dance this properly you've got to go out there and do it you cannot just come once a week for a couple of hours in the dance studio to do a few steps you must go out van find a salsa club or find a night a salsa night in a nightclub and go out there and practice and do it and so that was what we did on a few occasions my classmates and i would go out to the salsa club and to be honest and in hindsight i was probably too self-conscious to ever make it as a vaguely competent salsa dancer somehow just being on a dance floor with dozens of pairs of eyes looking at me just got me too anxious and i would be thinking oh what if what if i get it wrong you know what what if i step on my partner's toes what what what if what if what if i and so you might say that i suffered from spa salsa performance anxiety so what i did what i did was i'll take my partner to a darker more deserted part of the nightclub and and we just step on each other's toes there and on one one occasion one evening actually ventured towards a dance floor and just to check out the action there and and something caught my eye in fact one gentleman caught my eye now this guy literally had a line of women just waiting to dance with him and at the end of each song when his clearly satisfied partner walks off another girl would literally jump in front of him and say dance with me you know my turn i won and i would watch this song after song the same thing would happen and i just stood there thinking that guy is my hero when i grew up i want to dance like him so i found my instructor and i asked him i said look check it out right look look at that couple look at the guy dancing right tell me what is it about his dancing his lead his style his form you know what is it that makes him so irresistible to all these women you know what's the secret so my instructor looked and then after a while he turned to me and he asked is it thaddeus when you and all these people are watching that couple dance who exactly are you looking at are you looking at him are you looking at her and i'd say well everyone's looking at her of course and he says that's it that's the secret and i'm like okay i don't get it what do you mean is this is it that yes that guy when he dances his focus is solely on his partner his dancing and his lead is not about style about form his dance it's all about having his partner look good and feel good every girl that comes to dance with him gets to be at the center of attention they get to feel like they're at the top of their world and if you could lead every single one of your partner through such an experience you too would have a line of women waiting to dance with you i stopped salsa dancing not long after that but i never stopped telling this story because that was an education for me around what ultimately leadership is all about see leadership is not about being in a position of importance but about lifting someone to feel important leadership is not about standing at the top of your world but it's about putting someone else at the top of their world and ultimately leadership is not about being a hero but about making heroes of other people and celebrating them i thank you you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 10,784

Keywords: TEDxSingapore, Leadership, ted, TEDx, tedx talk, 20April2013, tedx, Thaddeus, Skydiving, 2013, English, ted talk, Dancing, ted x, Salsa, Singapore, 20042013, Leaders, tedx talks, ted talks, Lawrence

Id: p5X9I0kgtHM

Length: 13min 50sec (830 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 17 2013