Singleness

welcome to the favorite sermon podcast be sure to keep watching immediately after the sermon for PostScript a weekly podcast with in-depth content and answers to your questions submitted during the sermon you can also find it on itunes or x8 Bridge org slash PostScript [Music] all right well had a good to see you guys it's always a blessing for my wife donna and i to come back here and be a part of our our family and faith bridge it always feels a bit like coming home so we're really grateful to be here this week and next week if you have a Bible I want to read to you from first Corinthians chapter 7 in a moment here if you don't have one if you don't have a Bible one just put a handout there's folks walking around with them they would love to give you one or if you don't have one or want one I'll read it here in a minute you can listen along but while you're turning to first Corinthians seven let me say by way of brief update because a lot of people I've run into a vast kind of what's going on with you where do you live well Donna and I live in Atlanta right now but we will be moving next month to Washington DC to begin the process of starting a new church in DC so pray for us as we transition we are in the process of looking for a home for ourselves and for the church there's a lot of exciting things that are in the mix that I won't talk to you about now because they're all possibility and who knows what God might do but our plan is to get settled in the district begin community groups small groups in the city with a plan of launching a church at the beginning of the new year and let me just say I'm so excited about what God is doing in the midst of it I don't know if you've been to DC very much but one out of three people in the district are between the ages of 20 and 30 for one out of three it's a very young City our our government rides on the backs of the young and to be in their midst and to preach an eternal message of Jesus Christ into such an influential motivated crowd of young people is a wonderful way to spend our life so we're very excited about it and appreciate all the prayer and support we've gotten from our family here so thank you we love you 1st Corinthians 7 before we jump in let me say this Ken and I talked about what would be the best thing for me to do over the next two weeks we thought let's talk about relationships for this week and next week and so this week we're talking about singleness and some of you might be thinking why would you talk about being a single in a setting like this well the simple reason is because according to the US Census Bureau 45 percent of adults in the United States over the age of 18 are single and so our country is increasingly more single than it's ever been before 28 percent of households in our country right now our single occupant households and so if that's not your vision of the country I want to react limit you to where you live a good percentage of the people you live work and Minister among are single among us so we're going to talk about singleness this week and then marriage next week and obviously in that quick a time frame we won't get to cover every nuance of the single experience or the married one so I apologize if you have a bunch of questions that I don't answer sorry that's coming but we're going to try to run straight down the middle and get some good biblical thoughts into our mind about it last little caveat before I jump into is whenever you talk about singleness people inevitably ask the question well okay are you single and the answer is no I'm married but here's why that's not a complete waste of our time is number one the text I'm about to read was written by the Apostle Paul much of the New Testament was and the Apostle Paul was single his entire life so we're reading the inspired Word of God written through a single man right number two is I got married around age 28 which statistically is the average age young men now in the country get married which is later than any previous generation so I got to spend a good amount of my twenties single and have experiences from that but in three as I've worked and lived among single people most of my life I've pulled together focus groups about this and so I've studied singles so much of the way I'm going to come out this is addressing singles directly and so if you are married don't let that hurt your feelings how many mayor's sermons have single people have to sit through right but there will be some things in here for you too so pay attention don't just click off-duty and go oh all this conviction is not for me you should listen single person they're coming at you too so let's read this text together we'll pray and then jump in first Corinthians chapter 7 beginning in verse 7 says this I wish all whereas I myself am but each has his own gift from God one of one kind and one of another to the unmarried into the widow I say it's good for them to remain single as I am but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry for it's better to marry than to burn with passion let's skip to verse 32 I want you to be free from anxieties the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord how to please the Lord but the married man is anxious about worldly things out of pleases wife and his interests are divided and the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about things of the Lord how to be holy in body and spirit but the married woman is anxious about worldly things how to please her husband I say this for your own benefit not to lay any restraint on you but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord let me pray for us Lord I want to thank you for a few minutes around your word and I pray you would help us God is we walk together single and married into the future you have for us God may we learn even more now how to walk how to walk as one and I pray God particularly for those who are single God would you give us a vision of what it looks like to leverage this season for what matters most and so I pray and ask you guys now if you're willing take a minute and pray for us and ask the Lord to teach all of us in this moment and then if you would pray for me that he'd use me and I'd be helpful to you well father we love you we trust you use this time and we pray that in Jesus name Amen well Christmas and my family grown up always involves a lot of travel Christmas morning was always at Mom's house and then we would drive to Beeville Texas where my grandma lived country grandma's what we called her and then we'd had to stay in Antonio to visit city grandma we called it the love triangle driving around Texas every Christmas and the best presents were in mom's house for santa came country grandma gifts Roy's a little weird like a white sweaters with big deer on him stuff like that city grandma it got better toys technology things like that except for one Christmas where it all got flipped on because I showed up at country grandma's house and she gave us a slingshot and by that I don't mean a little piece of wood with a rubber band on it okay this thing was made of titanium had a drop-down forearm grip for maximum leverage surgical tubing for the string this thing could break fence boards it came with a package of little steel balls and on the package were pictures of the small woodland creatures they expected you to kill with this device so when she handed that to us my brother and I were like this is incredible put the sweatshirt on let's go we went outside broke fence boards it was amazing so as we drove to cities we were like made of country grandmas rolling out cities about to take it to the next level this is going to be the best Christmas ever so you imagine our surprise when we got there and she handed me an envelope and I opened it and it said you were the proud recipient of a hundred shares of stock in such-and-such a company and I think the adults in the room could see that my little seven-year-old mind was a little less than blessed by this so they started to try to explain it to me they were like see stock is kind of like money but you can't spend it but maybe later it'll be more money and I'm like what we all hope so don't we I'm just like what is this the waste of my time why would she do this right and yet south forward a few years later I was out in the backyard playing with some friends my brother was in his room somehow my slingshot ended up in his room and as I'm playing with my buddies pennies start whizzing past us right and one hits my arm and cuts me draws blood and he gets some trouble so my mom takes a slingshot from him so I'm all frustrated so I go blow off some steam I'm gonna go break some fence boards and so I started shooting it with the slingshot the surgical tubing breaks and whips and cuts the other arm so in a minute I'm like what is happening like this thing that was supposed to bring me great joy has brought me nothing but sadness and pain right fast-forward several years later and I showed up to live a lifelong dream of going to seminary to study the Word of God and I remember the first time I walked onto the campus of Dallas seminary I walked in and there was a big table in the Student Center piled high with bread and the guys are showing me around I was like dude that's amazing I didn't know we handed out bread in the city I love that he was like handed else he said no this school is expensive man this bread for seminary students like they can't afford to eat and literally why saying that all these seminary kids are like shoving bread into their backpacks into their mouths oh right I'm like oh my god like I had no idea it was such a rough environment and so I looked down at my financial portfolio and man after 20 years my stock had done really well and paid for my seminary and it just struck me suddenly he who was less than blessed was now singing the praises of country grandma right now our city grandma now why do I tell you that for this reason what we want is not always what's best for us and what's best we don't always value and appreciate some gifts are more welcome than others so why didn't a seven-year-old appreciate stock ignorant honey but it took someone who was loving and wise to give me a gift I didn't want and fail to appreciate at the moment he's in now why mention not here because sometimes the most loving gift from God is singleness singleness now call it a gift because Paul did 1st Corinthians 7 he says yet I wish all men were even as I myself am however each man has his own gift from God one in this man or another in that he says it's a gift now some of us that's a gift we don't want why would you give why would God do that got you a little some Oh what is the singleness thanks dad like why would you do that right and yet the truth is if we believe God is loving and we believe these wives then we have to believe that what he does for us is the most loving wise thing that could be done for us and so we got to look at this and go why would he do this to us so we got to ask that fair question why would God give singleness to a lot of single people I mix in with want to be married so why gives them a season of singleness when they want to be married and Paul gives you the answer in verse 35 he says this I say for your own benefit he says it's for your good and he says it's not to put a restraint on you literally he uses the word to throw a noose around your neck he says god when he gives you a season of being single he's not trying to hurt you he's not trying to choke you he's not being cruel but there are godly purposes in it and then he tells you what they are he says it is to promote what is appropriate and to secure an undistracted devotion to the Lord now I want you to catch that every human being on the planet is going to be given by God a season of singleness some of us it's longer than others some of us it's shorter but the reality is God has ordained that all of us will be single for a part of our lives and he just told us here why why I gave us two reasons the first one he says is to promote what is appropriate because I want to promote what's appropriate know what is appropriate mean well an appropriate thing is something that fits an environment right we would call something inappropriate when it doesn't fit an environment like wearing a swimsuit to a wedding our swimsuits evil no wearing a swimsuit to a wedding inappropriate why because it doesn't fit the context these it they're things that I could whisper to my wife in our bedroom as a married man that would be appropriate good life-giving right for a man to say to his life point those same sentences whispered to the people working the resource table can get you arrested right inappropriate why because it doesn't fit the context and so catch this pulse of the reason you're single is because I want to promote what is appropriate God made you single because he wants to champion a worldview a way of seeing things in a way of living that fits the context we are currently in which raises the million-dollar question what's the context and you get it earlier in the book of first Corinthians I didn't read it to you but he says this is what I mean brother the appointed time has grown very short so from now on let those who have wives live it so they had none let those who mourn as though they're not mourning those who rejoice as though they're not rejoicing those who buy as though they had no goods those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it for the present form of this world is passing away now there's a lot to that I'm not going to unpack but let me just clarify he's not advocating ditching your spouse or quitting your job what he is saying though is that singleness dating marriage work though important parts of the human experience they are not the main storyline of your life at all and if we just took the Bible and looked at relationships marriage dating those sorts of things there are passages in the Bible that speak to it you get Genesis 2 you get Genesis 24 you get all of song assault Solomon and much of the Proverbs you get Ephesians 5 and Colossians first corinthians speaking of the single experience you've got all these different places in the Bible that speak about our romantic encounters and yet if you would have grabbed them all and put them in one piece of a Bible they're just a tiny sliver of the Word of God much more is written about other things and some of us go well this is the most important thing what are these other things well the other things are the big story of what God is about to be says in 1st Corinthians 1 fornicators adalat or thieves revilers swindlers will not inherit the kingdom of God and such worried you that you will wash you were sanctified you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ what he's saying is the world is a dark place and every person in it has had horrible things perpetrated against us and horrible things perpetrated by us and yet the main storyline of the world is we are all devastated because of our own choices and yet the mercy of God is on the move and the Son of God Jesus Christ has broken through the darkness and he has come and he's forgiving people like me and like you and getting us a hope and a future and life and relationship with God and he's beating back the darkness and he's building a kingdom of God in this world and we get to be a part of that and then he says and the time is short it's not a lot of time left on the clock in your life and mine our lives are brief and in the story of all humanity the time is short and so what he's saying here is when you realize that's the main storyline and there's not a lot of time left on the clock the clock should influence how you play the game so for me I remember the first time I ever played Madden on a video game right football I was playing with a guy at his house on the game and I was getting crushed right until finally a few minutes into the game I start making some headway right I'm doing these little run plays up the middle and I'm just like Texas A&M from the 90s just cam it up the middle jam it up the middle right and I'm making about 5 yards every play alright and I'm like dude I'm starting to get some traction this is going and then all of a sudden the game stops and I was like hey man what happened to the game I remember he looked over me and he said you were an idiot like scuse me he said the game stops because it's over it was a fourth quarter with two minutes left and you had a chance to score and you were running these little five-yard run plays second dumbest thing I've ever seen and I said I didn't know how much time was on the clock and he said that's exactly what makes you an idiot now I disagree with all the name-calling but the point he was making is true the amount of time on the clock should influence how you play the game and this is God saying there's not a lot of time left and man our relationship status matters it matters to God a great deal it matters to him actually more than it matters to you and yet the main storyline of this world is about how broken we all are in sin and you know that read a newspaper but the good news is God is on the move and building a kingdom and we need to be far more interested in the state of the souls of the people around us than their relationship status that's the point is that God wants to secure a mindset that's appropriate for the context we're in and yet a natural question would be well why can't I do that married sit by him in church what I going to be single to forgot to champion that worldview well that's the second thing he presents to secure an undistracted devotion to the Lord and there's a principle there for poll dating though it's a great thing is distracting I see this all the time when I speak to young people it's happening in this room some of you when we were worshiping earlier you were reading the words on the screen and you were singing along as I read the scripture you were reading along with me and paying attention as I've been preaching you've been listening and assessing my words right some of you are here sitting next to someone who's cute and maybe have some potential and the whole time we were singing you were like I wonder how I look right now should I raise my hands is that a little too into it they'd be able to put them here no that feels wrong all right I'm not sure all right maybe I'll be like a little into it like right here and I split it all the way right while we were reading the scripture you're like should I hold mine out so they can look at it what if my hands start to shake is that weird I don't want to do that oh my god and while I was praying acted our arm sister to piss on throat alarm oh my god what does it mean right and the whole time we've been doing this you've been distracted that's why the Puritans early in America they used to divide the common guys and sit on one side girls on the other even married people because if you're trying to focus on the Word of God next to a woman who smells fantastic it's not easy right and so that's why they would do it and the reality is it can get distracting and so God for all of us creates a season of singleness for a purpose to secure an undistracted devotion to the Lord why because we read it earlier in Colossians all things are made by him and for him you weren't just made by God you were made for God Agustin said our hearts are restless until they find rest in me so when Jesus sat by the woman at the well he began to speak to her about first and about quenching thirst and then he brought into her relational categories and he said you've had five husbands and you're living with a guy now that you're not married to and then what does he do he doesn't just condemn her or kiss her or that kind of thing what does he do he starts talking it to her about if you knew who was sitting with you you would ask me and I'd give you living water that make your soul alive why did he bridge that he said you are looking for a romantic relationship to do what only God can he says so before you will ever get a relationship with a guy or girl right you have to get a relationship with God right that's why God ordains a season of singleness for us to secure an undistracted devotion to him because our hearts will be restless until they find their rest in him and some of you have taken that restlessness to a lot of broken cisterns and wondering why you're still first and yet let's ask the question why do I have to be single to do that so I'm going to say married people seek the Lord together why make me single at this stage of my life or this long in my life in order to champion that really says in verse 32 I want you to be free from anxieties the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord how to please the Lord but the married man is anxious about worldly things how to please his wife and if interest are divided and I'll preach us to young men and you can see their eyes to like satisfy their wife then that's the kind of distraction I want to be involved in and I tell them probably not ma'am like you don't understand some of the challenges you're going to take on when you get married and I'll sit there and explain feel like look man you're going to get married and all of a sudden you're going to have to spend money on things you never thought you had to spend money on it's going to shock you that you're like I have to buy a refrigerator who does that I have to buy a washer and dryer oh my god I gotta buy duvet covers how many pillows is that necessary and you're going to go through this whole process and you're gonna have to do it with her and she's going to stand there in the store for hours and go so which plate design do you like yeah this one this one yeah this pattern this pattern this one listen this one any like this one and you're going to go oh I can't care and suddenly you're going to be making all these decisions about home decor that for many men not all but many men that is not really your sweet spot and then you're gonna have to do some small talk with all kinds of different family members and kind of mixing in with them you can have vacations and holidays with people that you don't know very well that you're now related to and you're going to have all these responsibilities to come landing on you and you're going I'm gonna have to get a second job right to cover all this and then when you get home you're going to oh my god I'm exhausted I just want to sit down and watch TV no fun you're going to get home and she's going to ask you about your day in a sweeping good and your cut she's going to want details details and then she's going to want to share details and you can't just be like okay you're gonna have to listen with your face and you're gonna have to go there emotionally and go like that would frustrate me too I don't know what I would do if my son said that to me and you're going to have to connect with her at a level that's foreign to your friendship circles right and I'm not doubting marriage I love being married but the reality is there's a lot to it so if you're single just look around now at the married men and now you understand why their testosterone level drops their hair starts to fall out they're so tired is what I'm told anyways that's what the statistics say the ladies it's true of you it says the unmarried or patrones woman is anxious about things the Lord how to be holy embody in spirit but the married woman is anxious about worldly things how to please her husband and many of you ladies are looks when you get married your husband will have expectations of you that maybe his momma did for him or something that you just didn't expect some people go like oh no we'll do the cleaning together but then you'll realize his standard of cleanliness is far below not just what's appropriate what's sanitary like what's good for a human you know and then you're going to have some pretty crazy things happen during the day and you're like I'm going to process it why don't I process it with my soul mates the person who's supposed to love me through my days and you're going to explain to him some of the challenges you're dealing with is there a look at your drawing it can be like what's the matter with you I don't understand what that face means like are you listening to what I'm saying to you and you're going to wonder what's the matter with this guy I'll feel like he understands me and let me say that he doesn't he doesn't all the movies Hollywood makes when the guy understands I he's Ryan Gosling and he's there with you to read by women right like the guy have you watched those he doesn't know how to be that person right and they're going to confuse each other and frustrate each other right and then you had kids to the mix Paul calls it an encumbrance I remember when I first came here at the faith bridge I came to faith bridge as a single person one of the greatest gifts of my life as a single person at face bridge is I got married friends you have married friends before in life but I was kicking it with some people that I hate well going on a treat why don't you go and I was like yeah let's go I threw my stuff in a backpack through the back of my truck and said let's ride I should have their house and we waited for hours while they packed the minivan they packed a trailer attached to the minivan with more stuff to entertain and keep their children alive and then they were like can we use the bed of your truck and they started loading my truck with other like childhood accoutrements and I was like this is insane that your life is so encumbered I was like I'm go to Starbucks now not to ask anybody I don't have to be like hey babe all the guys of Owen I'll be amount of I was like I just realized I have more freedom and discretionary time than any of these married people and it's interesting being on the other side of it now I was visiting with one of my staff members the other day and she's asking me have you seen this show no leasing this show no loosen the show no she's like how do you ever see any shows and I looked at her and I said I have three kids under the age of five I have 30 minutes of discretionary time every day where I do what I want and she went I have six hours and I said I know right I said I've been there and and I'm so tired now so tired now am i down on marriage no I'm trying to have fun here but I'm trying to illustrate a point and the point is this for all of us whatever stage you're in what we tend to do as human beings is we tend to downplay the advantages of our stage and we begin to up the frustrations of our stage and I don't want you to miss the advantages of being single because you're pining away for the next stage the advantage of singleness is freedom and time freedom and time no other person in life has the amount of freedom or time that a single person does and it's not to fill with distractions it is to pursue an undistracted devotion to the Lord that's what it's for and so the reality is if these verses the unmarried men is anxious about the things of the Lord how to please the Lord the unmarried woman is anxious about the things of the Lord how to be holy if that doesn't define your single experience then singleness will be very frustrating because you're missing what it's for is to pursue an undistracted devotion to the Lord and the most satisfied single people I've ever known are the people who get that so when I first got here at faith bridge I was a youth pastor here for years single guy lived in the suburbs I started taking some seminary classes at night and I remember being in there and there was a guy sat next to in class cool guy and over and over again in this class we would always be asked so what do you do what do you do what are you doing on Saddam he pastored everyone expected that he would say a life self steel to make a living he said but what I really live for are the high school kids that I mentor through young life and then he would just start talking about these kids and I remember sitting next to him in class and I'm like everyone expects me to be here all right this guy's young single living in the city he could be going out every night he could be sitting at home every night but he's taken what has been given to him being single and he is leveraging it to influence and the people behind him in a generation and to dedicate a night a week to take a class to learn about the life of Jesus and I'm like this guy is leveraging singleness well he's killing it we have more freedom and time in that season that we'll ever have before so when I came here to faith bridge I was very frustrated early on single in the suburbs I was like I'm the only guy here at faith bridge ever singled because there's only like seven people at safe bridge at the time there one alone and I was like this is crazy right and I was number seven yeah I was like doing I was getting but uh I remember at one point youth ministry started to grow we started to see more people come and more people come and I remember at one moment I was in the back hallway at cleb trying to prepare a sermon and one of my little junior guys walked by and I knew that his parents had recently gotten a divorce and I asked him how you doing man and he said I'm good I'm fine I said what were you up to this weekend he was like while I was helping my dad was in his dad was moving in with the girlfriend downtown I said how'd that go and he said it's fine it was fine and I remember in that moment I put my stuff down and I don't normally talk like this to kids but I looked at him and I said hey man I know you're going to be fine because God's got you and he loves you I said this whole thing sucks and it's okay to say it sucks and he just burst out crying and he fell into my arms and I remember holding this guy and I thought about all that I had thought I lost by being single in the suburbs here in spring but as I intersected this kid it struck me he's got nobody to talk to you know other 12 year olds are helping him process this his parents are not in a position where either of them are helping him in his scenario very much either and I remember holding this kid in thanking God that God allowed me to leverage the season in my life to influence these young people and the student ministry here at Faith bridge was built in large part on the efforts of single people and not just 20-something singles my best ones were singles later in life Adam named a crap-ton of animals before Eve came along you can get a lot done when you're single and I would challenge you to do it I would challenge you to do it and listen to me this isn't just on singles the average American in our country today spend 7.5 hours looking at the screen we do the average gamer in America today is over the age of 30 so if you think of video gamers as little kids it's not it's primarily adults on their phones right and I'm not going to rip on you for playing video games you play your candy crush and have a blast I don't care but I would encourage you to track how many hours you do and I would challenge you don't spend your whole life solving little problems on a screen when the real world is on fire there's so much pain in this world so much we are right now in the midst of the largest humanitarian crisis since World War two and some of you don't even know what I'm talking about right now it's the biggest human aid crisis in decades we need to know and we sure as heck need to care and so here in the midst of this Gullit has dedicated some of you to a season of singleness and I don't want to downplay the struggles of that I really don't but I want to challenge you to embrace the upsides of it that word devotion in Greek is the combination of two words the word good and the word beside I'm going to be really good at being us beside the Lord a great translation would be the word attentive because it gathers the two kind of pieces of what that means think of a waiter a good waiters attentive what does that mean it means two things he's attentive to your word that he's listening to the things you say and he's attentive to the work he's going to do what you desire and that's what we're meant to do with all of our lives but especially single people you have greater freedom to do this that we are attentive to the Word of God and we are attentive to the work of God that would be a great way to leverage your singleness attentive to the Word of God set your mind on things above is what the Bible will say for me I realized I had so much discretionary time when I got here through my 20s when I was single and I realized I was spending a lot of it in front of a TV and I thought when I die I don't want that to be true of me but I realized I'd been a Christian for years and never read the Bible I was like if I think these are the very words of God spoken to me I should probably look into what they are so for a season of my life I got rid of my TV I just couldn't for me at that time of my life I couldn't have like a healthy control of it I was like it's all or nothing so I kicked it out of my house and I would write out books of the Bible just so I could get him into me and some of you God may call you that I decided to co-opt my time in the car where I would just like saying half a song and just go you know I could do something way more beneficial with that I began to listen to sermons much of what I preach now people like I can tell you them to seminary and I was like this didn't come from seminary bro this came from the hours when I was single and I sat alone with God there are coffee shops all over Spring Texas where I read through the Bible over and over getting to know and fall in love with God and the fruits of that singleness have been what I've experienced through much of the last decade of ministry for me the seeds planted there have come to fruition and so as Ken was challenging us to enter a season of reading God's Word take that seriously get it deep into you get great at that relationship with God and then I would say be attended to his work serving people loving people getting involved in what God is doing man for me I remember it break away we would always pick a project every year something that was heavy on our hearts and the refugee crisis was a major issue for us wherever you land politically on what should happen the reality is nobody wants kids to starve to death and they were overseas and we wanted to do something about it and so the reality is we found some organizations that could provide aid to refugees overseas like we want to be a part of that solution and I have three single people that were working with me one of them was in design one of them did all the research and one made the videos and these people put all the effort into it and I just stood up on stage and champions what they were doing but they raised a quarter of a million dollars using their creativity using their gifts a quarter million dollars so whatever else is true of their life they can say when I was single and the world lit on fire I was there to make a difference and you want a life like that I remember it break away early on there was a girl that came up to me and this was a common thing for students to do she would say hey I to the place in Africa there's some people there they're willing to take on these kids and take care of them but they need a house I want to build an orphanage and I think you should do it and that was a common thing for people to do they get a burden in their heart a vision in the heart and they would walk up to me and say here you do it and so I told her when I told a lot of young people I said you're not the first person who asked me to do something this week I averaged about 10 a week I said so the truth is we have something God's put on our heart to put money towards I said I think God's put it on your heart because he wants you to do it and I said I know that feels overwhelming because you're like I don't have any money how am I going to do that and I said but that's where faith grows when you feel overwhelmed and have to trust God and then leverage the networks he's given you and see what God does and she walked away and I'm like everyone hates when I say that so she didn't walk away like thank you Pastor I mean it's kinda like that probably didn't go great but a year later she came back young girl she came back and said hey you told me to update you and so I wonder what you know what happened so what happened she's like well building it's about what should I build more finish yeah we got it it's done it's kids living there so what do you mean we built it who's we she's like my roommate like the four of us built it I was like how did you do that she's like well we raised the five figures it took to build a house and like where did you get that money she said bracelets with what she like bracelets we made bracelets and we sold them and the bracelets made over $50,000 and we built an orphanage and I was like that is a good way to leverage singleness you sweet girl in what I'm talking about imagine if the people of God decided to live like that imagine if we looked at our own time and money that way to say the time is short so I will leverage what I have for what matters most that's a beautiful way to spend your single citizen last thing I want to say is this to answer on singleness is it more spiritual because Paul seems to say so he says I think it's good for you to remain as I am Paul stayed single his whole life and he said if you're single I think it's good to remain like I am he says but if you don't have self-control let him marry some of you heard that part you're like I'm on fire bring on the spouse let's go but others of you and I talked to a lot of people that are single and they go if it's more spiritual to be single than do I just need to accept that and always do that and that's a real question and I want to answer it quickly in Matthew 19 Jesus was speaking and he says there are eunuchs and I don't have time to explain what a eunuch is he asked can later that's done anyway if someone is not having kids and he says there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb there are eunuchs who were made into eunuchs by other men which is a very unfortunate allegory and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven he who's able to accept it let him accept it and so you read that Negroes there are people who chose a life of having no kids and a life of no marriage for the sake of the kingdom of God and some of you are like should I do that is God asking me to do that and the answer is I don't know because Jesus will say later and he said to them not all men can accept this statement but only to those to whom it has been given and what he means by that is everybody is going to be given a season of singleness and you might have spent years great you might have spent it poorly I don't know but some of us are in the middle of it and it is for an undistracted devotion to the Lord that's what's for it and yet for some of us that season will tarry and the God who gives you that gift will give you the grace to live in it he says some of them it will be given to them and they can accept it it will be something that God provides them the grace to live with that gift and some of you that will do that and I have friends like that others of you you long desperately to get married and statistically it's likely that you will for many of you I don't know but what I do know is God is good and he is loving in his lives and the main storyline is the relationship built to God through Jesus Christ and in the history of the church the single Apostle Paul and the married Apostle Peter joined hands and they provided the foundation of this church together and as we live as a church the single among us and the married among us are meant to join hands and build this thing together we already are and if you're not aware of that I would challenge you man get to know the people in stages of life were meant to be a gift to one another with the different gifts we have in our seasons of life the greatest gift I got a faith bridge is a single person for all the married people that welcomed me into their home's never forgot that some of my still hang out of the house say well so let's walk together for the glory of God a man let me pray for us Lord I want to thank you that you are not callous to the hurts in our heart and there's so many hurts I didn't address at all the loss of the spouse divorce a season of singleness that's tarried much longer than we wanted and I don't want to be callous to any of that so lord if it felt that way just pray that that would not stay in anybody's heart god I pray at the end all of us whatever season we're in we trust you more in it believing you are the sovereign Lord over our lives so if you've ordained us to be married right now which how do you know if you are because you're married right now then we fight for that marriage to be a marriage that glorifies you and if we're single God we fight for our singleness to be leveraged for you so God whatever needs to drop out of our lives let it fall whatever free time needs to be reorganized may we reorganize it whatever dedication of time and money and resources that has just been funneled into selfishness may it be funneled into a selfless love for the world and God I pray whatever stage were in single or married when that stage ends for us we could look up and say I leveraged that season well I lived for what mattered most the glory of God in the lives of men and women and Lord I pray for any this morning that have never put their faith in Christ God long before we need to get a relationship with a guy or a girl right we need to get a relationship with God right and so Lord whoever maybe they thought religion was be a good person if that's you you can pray even now and say God if you sent Jesus Christ to get me if he's the bridegroom the husband marrying his bride the church he's the forgiver she's the healer the restore the one who brings me into the family of God so I God is a father than I want in and if that's you you can pray that even now so I went in I want to belong to him and you get to start the best relationship you will ever enter and then God for those of us who know you may we live our lives for what matters most God your glory and the good of those around us and may we link arms together God and see our communities change because the married and single love each other in the world so well we pray that in Jesus [Music] welcome to postscript here we help to answer your questions and help you dig deeper into the messages and sermons at faith bridge by talking with the teacher of the day [Music] hi and welcome to PostScript I'm Lou and Riley grow group and discipleship director and I'm here with Pastor Vince Stewart Bible teacher who just brought us a message about singleness welcome been so good to have you back yes awesome so you have a new book coming out and we are getting some of your information from there your single mission exocrine talk about marriage yes and so when every times walking on this questions are always come up like I'm sure we'll have some next week about marriage but let me jump into one here and you talked about and what asked what I took away from the sermon for me was talking about how we just have this tendency of minimizing the benefits of the current season that we're in looking at the next one and I can certainly relate to that with small children at home I think gosh you're often tumultuous yeah there we can um and so one of the questions that came around that was kind of questioning this benefit of singleness the wondering and their dad is a single dad but he has four kids and he is working 14 hours a day so he is he is single in the visitor we're talking about in terms today but a single dad which is a unique seasoned well and can you talk to me about that Steven what advice you would have for him and we said like four kids in the home or kids yeah well I mean that's your calling yeah you know and there are I don't know all the ins and outs of what's happening maritally there's I can't speak to that but if you're in a situation either dad or mom or you're raising children alone that will be your primary mission field and ministry zone and that is not something to feel guilty about and yeah a lot of this sermon doesn't didn't necessarily aim at that zone and I was kind of what I was trying to say it's beginning of going this isn't going to hit a lot of it of people situations this would be one where you go yeah you're not free too go to a mission trip here or there but your mission is right in your house it's these kids that every free moment you got you leverage to speak into their life no one will have a louder voice into the lives of those kids than you other people might have more frequent voices but the voice of our fathers tend to linger long and and so if you're their dad you creating as much space as possible to listen to them take them out drive in the car and talk and hear their heart and to speak honestly to them your heart bring them into the family of God one of the best things my mom did as a single mom raising us was she just put us in the orbit of godly people and as I look back on my life there were there was not like some guy like my mom never remarried but there were different men at different seasons of my life that took us fishing started the Bible study with me and my friends took me on a mission trip mentored me took me to a father-son camp you know there were different men that filled that role and that's what the church does the body of Christ we step into that and so there are people that can do that and that may not mean you have a new romantic relationship in the near future or wife but there are families here that can mother your kids and care for your children and for you and so I would say press into the family of God and then set your gaze on I'm to seek the Lord with that time that would have been with my life that's of time with the Lord and and these kids are my mission fields and if you lead them to him he didn't take care you and what more to say I love how you talked about the end about locking hands together singles married young moving the mission of Jesus word that's why the church is here - our faith bridge exists is to come around families and singles and for all of us to support each other absolutely well and I look back at into the story I told it myself as a 20-something year old person getting to really invest heavily in the lives of a lot of our students can't were endorsing and I go I didn't think of it this clearly till I got there I'm like this is what men did for me and now I'm getting it do it for these kids and I have these single parents come and we're so grateful and like I can't understand why you'd even do that I'm like well Agence to the Lord leads you to people it always does but then I look back and go they did it for me and I'm going to do it for them and there are people that will love your kids and help you and and then I think you'll keep doing that and help others too it's good the other question that came around and you talked about and just what's happening in the world you put it in the way of the world is homefire and maybe a watch scenario sad at so this question is that wanted to know you talked about the largest humanitarian crisis now what were you thinking yeah while it's quoting the UN you know they're talking about in the Middle East and North Africa the issue of starvation and the 20 million people are starving right now and really localized in four countries and some of it is you know issues with the weather but most of it is issues with extremism and people being forced to flee a lot of them are Christians that are having to salute hostile areas but a lot of Mark Christians are just people that are in a war-torn City and clean and they don't get to pack up and flee and so you've got millions of people that literally do not know where the next meal will come from and like I said it's become a political issue in the States refugees kick-starts this whole political conversation for people but you go look overseas right now there's millions of people wondering and without food and there's children starving to death I think we can all agree children starving to death isn't a solution of any kind and so there's some amazing ministries and organizations all around the world that are first responding to come and help people in need and I just think if you can look at the hurts in the world we we we have to be compelled there Jesus moves them the poor and the hurting and there's millions of them right now so the UN speaking to it there's a lot of ministries that you can get involved in that would point towards it I'm sure fake fridges volley some of them yeah yeah and I would really encourage people to care do something good well thank you for being back with us it's always a pleasure to have you and looking forward to your message next week go ahead marriage here we go don't miss it and we'll see you back here next week thanks for joining us for PostScript help us keep the podcast interactive by submitting your questions during the morning services learn more at faith bridged org slash PostScript [Music]

Channel: Faithbridge

Views: 63,956

Rating: 4.9042473 out of 5

Keywords: faithbridge, ben stuart, singlness, relationships

Id: QpA36G58Kt8

Length: 49min 59sec (2999 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 09 2017