Simon Brodkin - Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast #158

hello there three rigid herring well goodra shows the squid Theo Paco's my guest this week is simon broad convey a that means also known as granddad Lee Nelson if you enjoyed these podcast and want to help us make more please go to www.extracareanimalhospital.net entered into prize draws you get all sorts of malarkey it's well worth it go and have a look that will be lovely and but it'll still keep on going out for free because we're nice guys that's the kind of guys we are you can also buy my books emergency questions and Christmas emergency questions I just held them up people listening in audio I go to go faster strike calm when there's loads of brilliant possible Christmas gifts not just my stuff but loads of fantastic comedians do support go-faster stripe if you can they're doing a lot of fantastic work for underground comedy and it also someone talked with my show Oh friggin 50 in spring 2018 if we get that far better as shown calm slash Kings anyway let's watch prankster extraordinaire Simon Brad King let's see if he pranked me I hope not [Music] [Music] the pages and gentlemen welcome to the Leicester Square theater please welcome man who this week was belittled by a scaffold it's Richard Harry I always hang out with you corn from the go Jesse's it's like a disco unicorn who makes the world revolve and John I'm not obviously the audience I'm living in the countryside I'm covered in dirt they're honest I've got an axe now I've bought an axe because I don't like paying for energy which is why I recommend you use my bulb but like I still have to pay for wood right oh my when I've got my I got a proper fire in place in my house so I put an axe so I don't have to pay for woods I'm just gonna go in this just that they're grown in there the fields and stuff it's gonna chop some off I've kind of cut myself quite badly I tried I tried to break up a pallet the other day it looks and with an axe it's really difficult to use an axe for that job that's why I'm learning out in the country and yes I was I was it's very polite and the Cubs I live in hartfordshire now I had two examples of very angry road rage this week I was in Waitrose carpark you don't expect to get in road rage there right that's a polite place I saw a car pulling out the artist pulling there I pulled in there another card wanted to put in there as well and then they go no we were going in there they were literally like five spaces within two feet of this car so it wasn't like we've got the last one and then they don't you can you get out you go and then he called me [ __ ] which I do not expect in what then Waitrose that's not mine and then I was driving down my local road which is kind of everyone parts of the side so you're going to get one lot of traffic down and I had I did there's 100 meters stretch and there was nothing coming so I pulled out to overtake all these two parked cars and then a scaffolding lorry came the other way and rather than waiting as it would be polite they just drove forwards so that I would we were then asked whether there's a standoff with me and some scaffold is it the scaffolds going I'm literally going like that me and I literally hadn't done anything I was in the right and so I took a photo of the front of their van just because I thought you know I couldn't robably mention him in the podcast in the neighborhood and I couldn't get everyone I could get one to bring them up and tell them to their rooms my wife told me actually I shouldn't do that so I am panicking but I might do some so they belittle me they were done nothing wrong I felt very bad about it but I don't have you ever been belittled by the scaffolder it's a new emergency question look out for it so anyway my guest this week I hope he's backstage he was just trying to brush his teeth with the child's toothbrush and that's just one of the things he's probably best known for his appearance in the morning after show which was pretty bad this morning rich not Judy knockoff from 2008 at Simon Amstell in as well memory that's where he's best known for a silent broken nose in Yemen Simon [ __ ] [Applause] how you doing I'm pretty pretty fresh breath and I'm happy I don't like to tell people about it that's what this that's why ya have to be careful when you prank other people other people will prank you that's what I've limps I don't know if you call that praising frankerz great that's how cool that's I do it was original I do remember the morning artichoke yeah the first on my Mac Simon Amstell was in Hills jegos Club the name used the mousse mousse and he was on duty and we're doing this besides me to copy that show we do it and he dumps me fed any advice since then he's got a lot cooler we always gave good advice yeah next it's have become cool do you remember your Leigh Mills I do remember it a little bit I'm sure either not talk about it but with that and the toothbrush I think we know which way this interview is gonna go and I did the morning I'll show now the morning after show this set was it was it was it was time and I'm still hosting and the with me as Leigh had a little role and it was it was great it was rolling around on it really there was a Wikipedia it says that this can't be true because his role and rap was on it it says the Big Daddy was on it I think Simon Amstell might have edited that it was no big dog was rolling right now on it rolling right I didn't see but I'm a JQ him and his entourage would have kept separate so I met you I think the first time in Swansea possibly the first time I met you we did a gig together in a Students Union and it was a big day for me because it was a day I booked into a bigger bed and breakfast in Swansea and they didn't have a separate bathroom but the toilet was in a in a cupboard in the bedroom I mean not even with a door on it just like that in the little alcove there wants me to cover there was a toilet and you were we were up with me and I went back to the you said I'm driving home tonight so I went back to the Ben breakfast got my stuff and didn't sleep in my room and you drove I didn't but we remember this this car journey I don't remember I'm gonna preface everything by saying I've got a very very bad memory I don't even remember brushing my teeth for the kids to know I've got a very bad memory but I don't so I don't remember that because the car Jimmy on the way back we were talking I was talking your ear off and we went through some roadworks at 70 miles an hour now yes yes this man cost me three points and still haven't paid for petrol money but there we go I'll give you a free copy of whom it was a long time ago well let's get let's get straight into the more topical aspect of what's been happening with you that well in the last two or three years you've been sort of doing quite high-profile priming they're not then more than pranks that kind of it's like situation list comedy where your cat you have various characters you do Lee Nelson course and Jason bent the footballer which is that how it started the first one was with Lee was it yeah so what was the what was the first one you did I gave someone a lift back from Swansea no the first one was stealing my own DVD oh yes of course in HMV at the launch of my DVD which you can still buy and I thought what I would do was you know as Lee as Lee would do Nick my own DVD from HMV and I I kind of thought that if I did it with enough commitment and enough you know went through that that if I ran on to Oxford Street that there would probably be coppers right that would eventually comes and that's it we had hard we would trot we would that suit the idea was to be a little bit naughty with it it's all coming back now and to be a little we've got we've got a I think we've got a police or something to look like a police that's a we've got someone to dress like a copper and I was going to do we told we were gonna do a bit of I was gonna steal DVD and it was looking very funny I didn't tell him was or I don't know how many other people actually told was I was gonna go ahead and carry on with the full commitment of stealing the DVD it wasn't just gonna be a wacky stealing DVD and we get a little picture with that with the police officer i took the DVD or several DVDs and picked it out onto the street and realized that if I did as you do if you steal a DVD from HMV eventually a real copper will come calling and that's what happened and it was just running up box mystery you for making your own DVDs which of course can be done doesn't matter whose DVD wise you could just don't steal them all instead I would say I can luckily buy most of mine in the pawn shop and so ran up and down on Cox history and real coppers came along and then we had this situation where it was I wish had a better memory we had the coppers who I was properly floored by these coppers and then the other copper they thought he was a real copper but he was just like I'm just pretending to be a copper and I'm like I'm just pretending to make my DVD and these coppers were and there was a hole because everyone got out their phones and they thought i was really being improperly being done myself half was being done and that was the first foray into I guess mixing a comic comedic situation clashing with the real world to have real-world consequences or as you could say [ __ ] about but it's kind of exciting when there's that unpredictability to it well I guess all these thing I mean there's on the unproduced bility i mean the most recent one with Theresa May where you know I don't know if you're gonna tell us how you managed to do these things and you probably want to because hopefully but you so much to get to the front of the Tory Party conference and hander a p45 you're not scared you're gonna be shocked by I was scared I was gonna be shot I'm not gonna lie that one I don't normally worry about my own personal safety but that one I was a little bit tense as to what the lines are and what the rules are and what the rules of engagement are and and I had to be very careful you know I'd pull back on my initial idea which was to knock her out it is amazing it takes a lot of balls to do something like that surely I mean like this or just yeah people said people said does and I guess it does but to me it feels like yeah I guess you know the the stepping onto stage you're just doing a stand-up shoots it's yeah it's it's it feels a bit more natural to me I think I might be did you know you're gonna get that farthing and we use something where you sitting at the front anyway or did you walk in from the back and and just as you saw would imagine you get yes spotted 15 20 meters away and just taken away at least you know someone I didn't like all these things when you go and do things in the real world you're never sure yeah what stage you're gonna get to and how far it's gonna get are gonna gonna gonna go and whether you're actually gonna be able to do it and that's the fun of the fair yeah and that's what makes it exciting everything that's what people like about it when it does work because it invest a lot of jobs a bit it wouldn't work or shouldn't work or can it work whether you make it work but if when it works it's here's good how did you make the letters fall off the thing at the bank fridge magnets I mean if that has to be the open the door if that happened at the same time as you were doing that would have been really freaky wouldn't if you'd meant if it just she had such a bad day did you feel a bit sorry for afterwards I think about almost so many things yeah I mean obviously I was I was carted off well at first I wasn't carted off I I will on the on the day you know that I I thought my highest chance of getting as close as possible to would be to look and sound and feel like I absolutely fitted it yeah and the so I had my best Tory boy look on I wif Tavera beans and I had the glasses and I had the shirt and I had the cufflinks and a lot of it's in the detail the right tie and the right look and the thing is you were under 65 though that would immediately I do say I don't know why we like this guy and he's clearly said so others I was at the front and I met I thought III can tell you a bit about the the before but I'm there and I hand the p45 and learn behold she took the people I didn't think it would go that far back she took the p45 and obviously I'm thinking okay job's done yeah let's get ready to be bundled over and dragged out by a lot of angry security people and instead I got a light tap on the shoulder and I was just asked if I could kindly sit back down and that's when I thought maybe I fitted it a bit too well and that they assumed I was some aide who had handed her a last-minute change to her speech and I was thinking I'd stunt them I kind of don't want to listen to the rest of my speech someone please arrest me please come on and so that's when I moved into the boris section and to Boris and when Boris Boris Boris you told me to give it to what are you backing me up man and then security kind of did think that maybe that wouldn't actually happen and and that's when they realized that something was up and even I looked the part I shouldn't actually be there yeah and that's when I was I was dragged out and two choruses of I think it was scum scum it's done it's damn it that's gone yes so you wouldn't have been able to really cause any ha I would have had no I would have had seemed pretty damn good origami research you searched you go through an airport you know the style security with the liquids and the and the bag search and the body sir load up there could've been a blow dart blowed that obviously I met what I missed I hit the leg so so no I couldn't have her safety was never yeah in question but it's you know you could have I mean I'm not saying you've one could have is somebody gone then it's quite terrifying I'm saying that the security is that bad you can leave you could have got there at least punched her see um I would defend their security I'm gonna say because I don't think I ever put around the physical threat or any harm and in fact she said in an interview I heard later that that she never felt any threat and I think that I didn't have a weapon I didn't have you know that something I could throw at her I was never intending I never advanced towards her in a menacing way and ultimately what I did wasn't illegal and it's you know and and and even my very presence there you can argue should I be there should I not even be allowed to be there well I think it's quite good that we live somewhere where you know a prankster can ya still attend an event with a high profile person isn't booted out of charges that you might do something that might not lose some people yeah well here's a video of you being bundled into the police van afterwards yes we seemed quite annoyed with you were they or were they being jocular with you no I didn't yeah except no she wasn't a real pisser she was very happy to see me I was no so yeah yeah but when you you know that the I got I got bundled off when they finally realized that you know I shouldn't be there yeah and God take as I was being taken out of the auditorium like I don't know how many members of the press followed me it was quite a surreal and quite fun moment you see these these these melees these press kind of frenetic hives and I was at the center of one and I was thinking about you want to kind of listen to the prime minister she's still talking and I got taken back and security was dragging me out and this bundler about 40 50 60 but I don't follow me and it was quite funny because I'm walking forwards they're taking me to the security area and these people they're walking backwards in order to film me and take pictures of me and ask me questions and when you walk backwards big disadvantage you can't see where you're going yeah and these journalists we're dropping like [ __ ] flies as they were knocking into Pilar's bins doors there goes another question on answers and it was this crazy melee and so they took me into the the comfort it felt the time of this sort of police the security check and they closed the door and it was like you know when you close doing a get howling Gary right and suddenly all the questions and the dinner and the snapping and stopped and and then there's there's this which often happens after a stunt there's a strange calm and partly because the police who are now involved often don't know what you thought they weren't there they've been taste so these g4s security guards took me dump me in the police's own and they've got me looking like this posh Tory boy being dragged out I think I'm probably hair cuz of stuff and then getting plopped into this room answer and then I'm surrounded by I must have been five or six huge on the my I mean arm very on they got the machine gun and they've got the things and they're looking they're looking menacing be equally they're looking at me thinking so and and they don't know what is going on they know that I shouldn't you know I've done something wrong and they don't know what and there was this is all tension because those were them in lots trouble not a lot of trouble quite a lot trouble about this and eventually this this this one copper comes up to me it just goes a big funnier world you're about to be in serious trouble pump and then goes back to the serious face they can't be seen to be fraternizing with the criminal and so I'm they're thinking okay I'm now in lots of trouble and you can always tell the rank of an office I've learned this by spending bit too much time in the company police offices by the sort of aura that comes with them and then the gravitas and that the way they get treated by the other the other police officers and I knew someone important was was around for the sudden every woman's more serious and that the postures get more upright and rigid and this lady in her 50s with the sort of non-uniform so you already know you dealing with either someone very high up or not but you've got sensors and so she she came along and my knew she was pretty damn high-ranking she flashed her badge which is everyone wants to go through that you only see that in the movie she flashed a metal badge in a little leather case and then puts it away and she was looking like she's got me she's got my balls she's she's about to do me here so she goes right there how do you how did you get in them and I just said I applied what you mean you applied I applied through the Conservative Party website and her face is just changing expression from now this little [ __ ] - I'm not sure I can now this little [ __ ] withers and she said right what names is used then mine she closed a little notebook when had a word with another officer and I never saw her again and and I then felt that moment I wasn't gonna be in that much trouble shortly after that I did get arrested and they read your rights and it is tempting to say along with them because I know by now they know and that's when they put me in the cuffs and then put me in the van yeah and let me carried on from there yeah I mean you're thinking I might be spending the night in jail or might be yeah yeah I did you really let go you let go before the night was over ya know they were they I mean they put me in the van and again it's it's fun to do once right twice off to the stag do but did make her joke - they bundled me in the van and they closed the bound him in the back it's a proper it's a police van yeah you know and I'm handcuffed and yet and there's four of them in the front with the mesh and we start driving off and I'm not sure I you never quite sure what they're you know what what their vibe is there now away from them the boss and they can probably think a little bit more than themselves now have to be seen to say and do the right thing exactly and I just said this they weren't you're right back there I did say it's reminding me and my stag do and they laughed and at that moment I realized that I was gonna be treated well by them because you just never sure how you're going to be treated and how the whole thing's gonna go there I think look being in Manchester where the Tory party aren't exactly the most popular party and also being in a police van which Teresa may was responsible for cutting slashing their budget which is why we only had three wheels the I was in I was on home territory and so they treated me really nicely you know what the nicest things a police officer can ever do this is like do you know that they have arrested you but they actually don't want to arrest you is they say do you want me to loosen up your coughs mate if they ever loosen up your cuffs that means they loosen up the cuffs because they can't get bit sighs oh you're right and then we drove and it seemed like forever we were driving they said we'll go into a local police station I was worried we were heading for Guantanamo one stage we're going a long way and then we got out took me into the the police station they start checking you in and they're you know they take wear your belt and they're about to bump you into there that the police cell and they ask you the questions and they me and measure you and they take when he can harm yourself and blah blah blah and then another police officer came around the back of the desk and she was sort of she something a bit odd and she had a whisper to the guy who was checking me in the police office and they went back and then I they they came back and they just went you're free to go mate and that was very funny what you did [Applause] and I got dressed and and it was all it was they couldn't have been they couldn't have been nicer okay I couldn't be nicer they I got a lift no good as that I got a lift back to the station and it's better than uber because they got flashing right see the wrong way up one-way streets and they were just they were there were nice spy they asked for selfie and in the back of their car they had a police do not cross ribbon the heck so I put a bit of that across my face for a wacky selfie and yeah and I'm still friends dance this day but they were they won't they'll grate them kind they got the joke they realize that and what are you doing it for something or we just do it for the sake but what do you do these things because broom if you have got a film crew with you but it's all being film or did you have a film with you no no I wish it did no it was on the film so maybe presumably a long as it was live on the yangtze yeah mr. day were there no I didn't produce that show so that's so that's just ends up on the front page of a newspaper obviously you're on the front page of the papers the next day I just think it I love the way you know I've caught commonly transgressing the boundaries of the stage and becoming this real thing and this improvised thing where anything could happen it's just so exciting I think it was just along with everything else that happened in that speech I mean the only way could have gone better if you take the people you haven't got Oh wish she might have done with release you Michael you got a point let's do one people yeah yes yes she took the people we follow man she made the Joker I think she made a joke about food dude it was worse management though she was she said about does it matter that's just your jokes no sushi anyone did anything illegal that day with me but I also there Sepp Blatter what was incredible as well but with the Sepp Blatter one that's when he dies here's the picture on his a victory is gonna be that money falling down in front of his face that's thanks for that photo suffering my son in with me killing him many guys have natural causes thank you probably quite soon but that seems that image that's his life summed up isn't in that that money you you went in and just that was there's Jason been the premier league football character the preening Premier League for Allah who had who was giving was giving set this is this is for the end what was it this for the World Cup 2020 bit in North Korea and then through the five hundred dollars up in the air was it real money it was real money it was surprising though there the Swiss police big ridiculously organized the first they did to me was so we have counted here is all your money back [Applause] [Music] didn't get the joke got the economics of the situation cuz you've done so many as in guessing crepe it's sort of incredible that your name isn't on a list that you can apply for a ticket to the Tory conference in your own name and no no you use different kind of states but they know it's you Mason men so it's incredible but you're not like there's no it's quite an unusual name boo-boo-boo-boo-boo you don't let him in or near the front of Li si but you started opposite and you were a doctor to begin with you doctor any works yeah that was a more dangerous place for me unless the ugh why did I trained his doctor and was a doctor that always happens at the end yeah doing all that stuff you're now a doctor so yeah I did we're still working as a doctor like when you were doing gigs in the in the end days of the gigs no I kind of foolishly whatever you want to call it just went editing with that you know starting with that let's see how I go yeah what kind of what kind of doctoring were you doing pretty bad was really bad what no I was I was junior doctor and that I did one year of being a junior doctor and for that year everyone has to do at least I think it's at least six months every six months medicine and I had a choir more varied yeah I did a course which other know that you can still do those it was GP a knee medicine surgery right that was the year because Harry Hill also was a doctor Harry Hill so how helped discover you didn't he was did there was arrogance Harry Hill yes he found me in a hospital bed it was like training this man up no he yet Harry a fellow doctor he he was an early gig I did right and then he recommended me to his management company and and and so he did he gave me up he gave me a great quote to use on my poster and early Edinburgh and he was there this mad gig which was it was it was yeah it was in Camden and obviously it was you know when Harry Hill performs on your bill yes that's payday for whoever's organising that gig so I think the room was meant to hold 200 there were like 450 just [ __ ] crammed in that room and it was a hard gig all they wanted to do was hear Harry and I went on that someone who was open who was we've done really well ahead and bracketing the year before we really struggled someone else struggled had some lemons thrown at the head step yeah Harry and then I came on I made him laugh earlier he noted that and then kindly recommended me that's cool yeah and were you always doing characters right from the beginning of you have you ever gone on stage as you said part from right now your self that I was doing as Lee yeah yeah yeah I've rarely done Matt for A's as myself yeah so Lee I was it was sort of when it started it was much more of a kind of caricatured sort of chav character that's that sort and it sort of seems to have developed away from that a little bit yes I guess because also that's that's or dates it doesn't it as well yeah I never called him a chap but it was all work at the time with a Chad thing but yeah he has changed as you know and softened I guess as he has grown up a little bit and he's had to get more responsibilities and he's gone from the baseball cap and the shorts to now wearing a suit I mean it is a stolen suit and the secured tag is still on the arm but yeah he has he has softened and changed yes the years ago by a very immersed I've been very impressed when I when I am on the bill with you would your haven't been for a while but I remember don't get with it a few years ago and you were at you went on stage and you did a send it went very well and then you dissected the set you had someone in the audience and then they came back to the dressing room you talked about what have what worked and what haven't work so you were always very focused on which a lot of comedians I'm terrible at that sort of stuff which is why I'm doing this now and you know I'd do the kingís I don't miss regular tape even though I take my gigs which sometimes do I can't bear to listen back to them so I just have to hope I remember the stuff but you were very focused I think very very early on I think when you've done medicine you've had to you know work you're not Sofia you know any levels I'm I didn't breeze through a fennec dab heart yeah and found you know the the you know medical school is hard had to repeat one entire block but that was partly cuz I was chucked out of a class for yeah I was booted out so I failed that section and what in managed at the time if there one section I met you come back and take every [ __ ] lab every exam yeah and it was the it was the obscene guy and the obstetrics and gynaecology class and there's well I couldn't help myself and they called you out and you have to sort of perform something in front of the class and there's a mannequin vagina but it's it's just really weird because it's a vagina and a couple of little leg stumps and a little bit of belly so you feel like you're a [ __ ] deviant just being in the same room as this thing right and you know I can't remember what we had to do but the whole thing was patently ridiculous they've been pretending that this thing could even be real and there was and I couldn't help myself and I I when it was my turn I got a ten around my pocket put it inside got my cash card out put it inside tap to where I'm the clitoris pulled out my cash card in the ten pound note and went down then about as well as it has now and got doing help but yeah I think yes I'm sorry cuz you might have done that in a real situation that's what they know they have vaginas don't have money inside thirteen so you can answer your question work I think that's it yeah I think when you have been that's the system you're used to where you you've got a work hard to do then that's what how I treated comedy you know because I think I I came back to step a stand-up about 2004 2005 and that must have been around about the time you were you've been doing a couple of years by then and you would two times observers yes yes so you're gonna bike you could see you know though I started back I came back to having not done a few years right and you could immediately see you know I could jab where's homage at White's all just when I don't understand why I'm gay you know you in five years stuff you just so obvious and I think with you is one it was obvious and there was a bit of our Murray about you in a nice way because that's a big comrade thinking that you were fantastic at the my see that living often the rift the crowd in the same ways there's a different character and then you ended up working with Al quite quite early on one of your first TV job says yes on Al's stand that sure was gets done once kept ourselves away from the landlord to do it was multiple personality yes yeah and he thanked Sam because he gave me a big break in and thanks Harry if you were listening before can we do shout outs brilliant this one and to the mannequin vagina the yes so he put me on his show which was you know different loads different characters and it didn't only chase some Ben I didn't know Lili Nelson did a load of others in which was great yeah yeah on itv1 it's kind of interesting and I think it was hard for how which which I suppose but you've done lots of different characters and that has made it maybe a little bit easier to branch out with Ali did so well with that character it was really a people didn't kind of want to see him trying other psych sketch shows a bloody hard to do you know I've had a bash at one myself with lean else as well funny people and their up their heart that hard the hard and as you said he's been doing that one single character for many many many years that's what he's tuned to that's what he knows that's what people come to expect of him yeah his day is hot yeah but you know I think it's a bit like Steve Coogan was something accepted the Alan Partridge thing now think after you know I mean he kind of went away from he was doing other things which is fair enough because he's very talented but everybody's sort of come back to it and feels at home with it you know now he's the same way it's the same with a loving as well he's sort of the same age as the landlord now and it was always a bit weird when Steve Coogan was new Hannah Partridge it was 23 yes what was that tore out what was it another less successful character we kind of got the readings of what he was thinking there yeah but I saw one of you guys something probably got 2006 show and bro he did forward the system we did my first show first and it was there was a there was a she did this new compass robbers please come I've mentioned them it was the only thing I've ever [ __ ] morning I think it sort of quite bold thing in that show which was quite shocking in that you had a character who's an Asian doctor character and and as you got to do he was the final character you did you started you know you started putting on the the brown paint on your face as you're doing it's a very bold decision to do that what was your thinking behind it were you thinking this is a theatrical be bold ya know what was her thinking so that show was called Simon broad canary one but himself right and so that was me doing a sort of pretend version of a character comic you know opening up I am the man behind the character and there were four characters in him between each character I would get undressed peel off another pair of Underpants he's had before at the beginning or five including myself a car remember and then start getting the clothes on for the next character that I was about to become and then give some Cod commentary about being a stand-up and a character comic and the history of comedy and all the nonsense and yes the last character was was an Asian doctor and you know the history of that was I didn't even really for me think about the boldness I didn't think about whether it would be something that would for me it was and I pretended to be a pale and pasty white you know working-class lad Lee Nelson yeah and then I later on in that show pretended I was an incompetent Asian doctor to me I didn't really distinguish between doing one and the other and I knew obviously when I started putting on the brown makeup it got giggles and laughs and but I didn't do it to be purposely provocative I was trying to inhabit the character that I was about to inhabit as best as I could which involves clothes which involves looks which involves glasses hair and skin colour changes because that was the person who I was trying to mock and poke fun at was a doctor who I had come across in my training let's have a look at this gallbladder shall we see if we can take it out anyone want to guess for me and this guy was unbelievable I mean I remember hours into what should have been basic surgery everyone's there for a long long time as junior doctor we're doing is like holding a clamp and just thinking I wish I wasn't doing this and he eventually after has the blood and that thing and that this and he just goes I don't appear to be able to do this operation and swanned off left us all with this gaping wound right okay well I definitely can't cuz I'm just holding this clamp anyone and then they had to get another doctor to come in and complete the surgery that was the guy we were dealing that that was he was he was amazing and he was asking before either one all the blood that might be because he didn't know where the gall bladder was it wasn't an educational thing as him in China fill gaps in his knowledge so I was just trying to inhabit that man yeah did you get any negative a so quick because I think like around Little Britain they all sort of became that sort became almost accept like a little Britain would we're doing character and I saw alright and then it became not alright again so did people give you a hard time about it what did will you ever stop bullying me people give me a hard time bad I thought was it contentious I remember interviews being asked about it I always defended it as I have you now I think it's it's very interesting isn't it as to whether it is you know right or wrong and it raises but that there isn't a right or Romney it's to do with the pervading culture the what the general consensus is and it's probably not really for me to give the answer it's probably up to the people who it may or may not be offending and so I'm not gonna say whether it was right or it was wrong III defend it at the time and things change with you know with a paste for good yeah you know we've seen it recently with behavior that has been considered the the bottom line is I don't know whether I would do it or defend it now but I did do it and I did defend it then it was like a free Sony moment I think no so that was in Edinburgh so that was interesting I mean I think especially because it goes back that it's all ain't half hot mum we're originally which is part of before your time but originally like Michael Bates played one of the char wallah guys and it was like properly like I think I probably approached it naively in thinking well what's the difference between being pale and pasty no I saw like that and being you know being pretending I was Asian and seeing you know but but I think the difference is the history and baggage that it comes with that I probably wasn't that aware of I hadn't really considered at the time yeah and it's not the same because it has connotations that are come from from a place that wasn't just making light of it and treating someone in the same way so I think I can and I can see that you can defend it and also you could attack it what all the people who put weed makeup on their face you also Frank John Donald Trump yes would you would you ever go put on the full orange makeup a few good no so again that was was this before he was president though obviously wasn't it um it was while he was on the campus I mean again this is one way you sort of think maybe they'll be sharpshooters at the distance yeah and I was probably less worried about there was I was worried more about thinking whether the whole thing could happen because I really wanted it happened it was my been tryna it was a Channel 4 show that I was actually that was part of the Year where channel 4 followed me and they followed me on a few stumps and the beginning of the year it was over the course of the year was sort of who do we want to go for and and Donald Trump was the number one by a long long long way and I thought I was gonna have to you know follow him to America I'm in an arrow I have no idea where I know contacts don't know anything about how the land lies out there so then suddenly the smoke we're preparing to go to America and thinking ok she's gonna have to go out there to see what we where do we even where we even locate him where's even you know he did a lot of interviews but he mostly phones them in yeah from Trump Towers and and suddenly got this news alert on my phone that Donald Trump in the middle of his presidential campaign is coming to the United Kingdom to open one of his golf courses which which was like brilliant he's he's coming to us so that suddenly made the whole thing doable and unfeasible and then it was trying to work out what he would be doing when he would be doing it how I can get close and how I can go ahead with the stunts that I eventually the whole if you're interested in in the whole how I did it yeah it's on it's on YouTube the whole build-up to that stump and the result was it did work and I scattered about 70 swastika emblazoned golf balls surrounding him and all the trumps as they took in turns to stand up on this podium with this these golf balls surrounding them and I was I was at after I threw the golf balls I went up as I was dressed as someone who works on the golf course as my disguise to be able to get in and I announced to the the the gathered media that this was part of the new Trump golfing range and is available from the club shop you know past these past these around these new swastika and blaze and gold balls so I thought it was funny FB I didn't agree but I did manage to do the stunts and and yeah that was they all all the Trump family members stood up because the FBI didn't know what do like bugs around around carp around pop what do we do and they didn't know what to do do you interrupt the great man's speech just take away these golf balls or did you let him carry on and there's just brilliant moments of the you know the FBI kind of stepping in and taking one ball and then stepping back out again so as not to interrupt the flow and he was there for it was about 10 minutes right him Vanka that what their names I don't know the men's all the Trump nuts Oh grow up and spoke and surrounded by these golf balls were you taken away and that one oh were you still standing there I was taken away on that one yeah one was that was actually I got pretty lucky there because there were so many different security services there there was the Scottish police there was the counterterrorism unit there was the FBI there was that though there were a lot of different people I could have and luckily for me the Scottish police got hold of me yeah and and they were more kindly to me than the American law enforcement and there was a big battle as Tazz they wanted me and the Scottish police would say though we'll deal with him we and there was they had to wait till he'd finish the speech to find that and apparently was absolutely furious and and they there was there was a prop they were desperate to get their hands on me and interviewed me a kay board to board me and leave me for dead and the Scottish police you know if I'm gonna do a shower I'm gonna have to another shout out to the Scottish police because they what they didn't even they didn't even take me to the station which was officially once I'm there it's a I'm in the system properly instead they handcuffed me in spite of an and this was a very high moment he offered me a sip of his arm thank you and the they managed to persuade the American authorities in the end that they had things in hand they promised to get me out of the country basically I think the American police thought that the border between Scotland England is akin to the Mexican America and once you kick someone out of Scotland they do not [ __ ] it welcome back do they know I could have gone so they they ended up they say we'll take him we'll get him out we'll escort him out of the country and I went in a police van handcuffed to the airport and they made sure I got onto her onto the plane yeah and then you worried that you're having Donald Trump is someone who I feel probably harbors grudges and has a list yeah are you worried he might come back for you at some point when he's ready for him yeah he has some fairly unpalatable followers so I've heard and the KKK didn't take very kindly to the whole thing's and three bracketed my name meaning outed me as a Jew yes I didn't I didn't ever mix for what the [ __ ] no so that's what they do if you ever see three brackets on Twitter around people's names it's because that well it's now work just so that people now act themselves or come out in solidarity even if they're not Jewish put three brackets around their name on Twitter - Joe I'm with the Jews here yeah and so they've got a barrage of hate and blah blah blah it's weird the KKK and Donald Trump honestly they really chest so annoyed I really made me change their opinion of the mob but I was willing to give them a gun burning cross thing I thought that was just a torch there was doing the night have you ever been belittled by scaffolder is that an innuendo for some little bias kappa we know they're quite belittling I quite like scaffolders because they're crazy right I've had people work I need a scaffold or next year that's the irony of these guys or see alternative Liz Lemon I'm not gonna I'm not yeah I'm not gonna employ that that I know just don't employ any scrap on us from hartfordshire and then you're definitely in no don't either they were just they just would really make them they made me yeah I wouldn't let me through and the roads and then I wish I'd done because I was driving up and I was I was a hundred metres from the near nearest pulling place and they were they saw me coming and then still pulled in and there were 20 meters from there pull in place I shouldn't use I was quite in my house I said you just said okay I'm just got a lot cuz I didn't have anything to do I mean I'm a comedian but then they're so crazy scaffolders I think they would probably just take your car apart or drive over the car or put scaffolding through the window have you ever had scaffold at your house they told me I'll get a grill wasn't prepared for this emotional so I'm sure there are some nice skateboarders out there it's like a moment no exam I have I think I've had scaffolding at my it's quite they're all quite crazy because you have gotta be up there you're up high and gotta you build your own little thing could fall down any second they're crazy men you know and I respect that I like them I like the fact they were doing wanker signs at me I also like the fact that I then took a photo of an alien and I could put it on Twitter I then wrote them and said I've got two hundred twenty thousand Twitter followers and I could I could prank you bow I was gonna prank them and get everyone to ring them up my wife told me not to do it I do listen to your wife Ritchie does your wife ever tell you not it comes together yes that's did your wife say don't go do that trees amazed you'll get into trouble that's what my wife would do as why I said no she's thankfully supportive yeah yes found the right one there I have she's a real peach that's the 1930s podcast yes my new emergency question didn't go as well as I was hoping I thought everyone's been belittled by ask a folder this is going to be a great story um what is the what do you most regret destroying with fire bloody hell there's so many options destroyed with fire choice what I destroyed with fire Wow I'm just I'm trying to think of something I've set fire to we might not have done I burnt my middle school art folder that's why my burnt down a friend's kitsch [Laughter] we came back today with a toaster that with the toaster back stood by didn't really want those toasters where they know what you need to do it's a bit there and I just went for it and then went back in and went for it and we were playing on the we're playing on the computer and the kitchen umpire Wow how about how much damage was done like all that underneath of all the cupboards on the one side so they need to get any scaffolders it's very deep luckily for them though could be very small scuff on the spine see a good question no good question I like saying that would like to have a good question because that you know it's just reassuring myself it was question I'll ask you a Christmas emergency question and I hope this isn't offensive to your Jewish heritage okay see I didn't put any in for any other religions I didn't even go you know what's it like having Chanukah Oh something I could have done that can I know I'm but I'm boycotting Tesco because they've had Muslims you know we heard that they've got Muslims in their advert people are boycotting that sounds reasonable I saw them did it brilliant tweet but I don't think was about that but it's about nothing annoys the Daily Mail more than Muslims not integrating into the society accept them integrating into the society this is question 45 which you might not want to ask Christmas dinner wasn't brexit a brilliant idea how'd you feel about brexit I talked about I was in Italy I went round to my neighbours this week which was nerve-racking because you know I live in the country and my wife brought up brexit my wife is quite annoyed about brexit and we you know you have that moment you go they live in the country are they all gonna be going yeah what a great idea but they mainly were against it how do have you feel about brexit I think remaining is the right thing to do I think the general principle whether you can get into the heavy politics of it is reaching out and finding commonality with other people is a lot better way to go than putting up your barriers and finally looking for differences and I think the way Europe doesn't seem to have gone on any wars since the EU came about for me that seems to be a thumbs-up rather than the thumbs down for that system but on the other hand Britain especially England is the best and we don't need anyone else so remember the Empire week so that was it go back to that that was the long-term strategy is gonna be called the EU K alright this is question 48 know quite there's quite a lot of questions about at Christmas Carol and a Muppet Christmas Carol in this book and the 12 days of Christmas is there a part of you that would actually like to live in the Christmas future where Tiny Tim has died in infancy you say part I say oh there's certain versions of Christmas Carol really like Tiny's indeed I likes of the film versions yeah I think in the mopping one I'd quite like Tiny Tim to be dead in the muffled one just cuz I mean this doesn't frog doesn't often get said but Tiny Tim is a massive hunting I don't know each other by the tail easy pops you never saw good correct call is it have you never even seen a Christmas Carol I haven't is that because of the Jews in jail allowed to watch it yeah amazing that you've only just woken up to the tactility zuv what you're talking about here's another Christmas Carol plays question we kill the Lord once and you won't stop how many ghosts are there in the Christmas Carol three no there are four as Jacob Molly's also DOS but then it says in here if they say four go no because I'm talking about The Muppet Christmas Carol whether a to Jacob Marley's at this point they can't lose that's a good one Christians who enjoy the work of Charles do you think Noel Edmonds has ever spent a Christmas alone I doubt it man Bobby he's always on the telly and stuff I bet one year yeah when Noah's Christmas presents just finished and before he kind of got into Deal or No Deal yeah no one was ringing about my feeling lacking knowledge in this area had you asked me if there any hanukkah's he spent alone ol Edmonds has definitely not spent a single Christmas of this some of the hard Christmas basestar asking one of those does it ever concern you the name minstrels has a potentially racist derivation I mean sure there were mixed rules in the Middle Ages but is that what galaxy named the chocolates after are you being slightly racist if you enjoyed them I was generally minstrels during the pond this mafia right in the book about why the next question is why do you think that the experience has shown me that I can't open a packet of minstrels without eating all the minstrels I still seem really believe on each new occasion that this time I will manage it do I secretly know I'll eat them all until I feel sick or is it because I'm racist or because I want to destroy all races and by eating all the minstrels or is my prejudice actually against medieval minstrels I mean it raises so many questions all the minstrels are gone now I feel bad cause the minstrels I do my improv racking for instance with no evidence when you think of it the previous question what you think about minstrel super memory because they always are there opening things up with the guilt that all black on me yeah so and they're black inside there you're like on the outside so then in no way comparable to the black and white minstrels that's good it's an interesting question about their the minstrels minstrels faced questions what else - no what else - I was told that Swansea you were the doctor you'll play the doctor and absolutely fabulous what seems too early for you must have still been an actual doctor yeah that was not true that is true yeah that was my first everything right and I was suddenly remember hat came about it was yeah I was playing a doctor in one of the fine weather episodes of absolutely fabulous and it was just as hard pretending to be a doctor as it was being a doctor one thing I was remember that was when the difference between publicly funded bodies and privately funded bodies it was at the start contrast so we was being filmed in an actual hospital and for part of one of the scenes they needed to shoot in a reception area but this hospital didn't have the reception area that they were looking for they didn't have a proper reception area so I remember talking here the reception here we've been waiting for this reception area to be built the years and years and years and years of reception over there we can we go each week we can't within about two hours the privately funded TV company had built a reception area that was only meant to be a temporary little thing for that one scene at the end the please from the hospital please can you keep that before us because we can actually now use it as our reception area Wow it was yeah it was it was tragic for those my kids were born in the hospital where they film sliding doors up in the literature sliding doors beat that both of my kids are hoarding the hospital no I went over to there I went into the lift and pretended I was John Hannah Queen his Patrick just got in you know what the Monty Python boys say then she got off from me and it was great do you like like the home sliding doors yes that is the wrong answer and hey look we've we nearly done all the taste but very lovely talking to you a very special too and there's loads more we could have talked about because you've done hundreds more even uncanny a West Phillip Green there was a good one for VW which is what your own personal favorites and any of any of them gone wrong not been usable not not go anywhere or all be what is your favorite one that has gone so I don't I don't have a favorite training with Manchester City Oh warming up immensity was fun yes because I support Manchester City got to warm up with them that was as Jason saying that's the only one you got punished for those all you abandoned that one yes - football yes I got banned from all football matches for yeah all the stadia that was that talk written off that year so but that stopped me being able to attend the FA Cup final where we got beaten by Wiggins so a shout-out to the police judiciary yes yeah I don't have a favorite they will fund that all yeah fun to do I mean you're still planning to you just wait a bit until everyone's forgotten that you done and then say alright I'll do another one have you got any I mean they don't tell us what they are obviously we got are you hatching more plans um I've got my heart is set on kim jongmin nothing can go wrong about I've got a character in mind a really aggressive scaffolder at the board know I'm always on the lookout but there's no exact plan they're going plotting as to what or when the next one is and the men leave them gone just tits up right from the Sun you not be enough to do anything more if they always work to some extent one I had to pull out of it didn't quite work and that was it there was only one no you're gonna do it again I won't tell you that's ok in case just in case ok cuz you come out of it looking back I was gonna I was gonna put a whoopee cushion on your seat Fred Fred then I can be right stir just sit down don't look down just sit down go do that I had it all planned and then you sit in it probably wouldn't work because these are quite soft seats spending a lot of time really thinking about how I can get here and the trick is none of this is real just that audience is just failed a video with an audience that is why they haven't really been reacting to anything yeah absolutely well good luck I really I just can't tell you I mean you're a fantastic comedian but I can't tell you how the bravery of what you do in the real world I hope you don't get killed but if you do get killed we'll put this podcast down as a kind of tribute I've been linked to this grab a shot by the Secret Service this is going straight up cuz I think of a hit alright so thanks for coming it's [ __ ] silent broken [Music] you you [Music] as like them sky potato you

Channel: Richard Herring

Views: 20,800

Rating: 4.6880732 out of 5

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Id: 5bDLRUVhmM4

Length: 71min 55sec (4315 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 13 2017