Shrek the Third - Cosmonaut Picture Show

this video is sponsored by hellofresh welcome everybody to cosmo picture show this is the third fourth fifth third annual time long tradition of shrektober that's right today we are watching shrek trek three today's shrek the third third what i said you said shrek three track three there's no such thing as structure silly and there's no such thing as shrek 2 but first we have a word from our sponsor today's video is sponsored by hellofresh and i gotta say as someone who lives alone and has a busy schedule hellofresh has literally kept me fed i've actually used hellofresh a lot before they came to me so you guys know this one was a no-brainer for me i actually do enjoy cooking but i don't enjoy looking up new recipes and trying to find the right ingredients it's just too much work but hellofresh makes all of that easy they send the highest quality ingredients straight to your door this week they sent me three options and i think i'm definitely gonna have to go with this pork rice bowl 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making our video possible i don't think i've ever wanted to watch a movie less in my entire life have you ever seen this movie i have jack the third is the one that's gonna do this to you yeah we've watched the worst scene together we've watched worse movies on shrek the third i have seen this once when it came out i was a child and i in that moment afterwards i was like i don't think some movies are good conversely i was elderly when this came out uh because i have benjamin buttons and i also wasn't a fan and we were both roughly uh when you saw that then if you have benjamin buttons uh it's a long bit it's a long bet i i have to say that's all i was thinking about wait is this bit how do i make this bit short with the short answer see audrey didn't answer we have a bit of a problem with these videos when our bits are problems when our bits are too long they the videos get demonetized so we're trying a new thing where we have short bits this is a long bit right now [ __ ] this isn't you mentioned this but the shrek movies don't look that bad for how old they are yeah no this one looks good do you mind boring i think the more after we identify that you know you're the wolf marcus is the wait does she die yeah she gets super murdered i mean she's obliterated right yeah she like explodes in a like a thing of course he's a [ __ ] orphan now oh my god that was really funny what are these the babe the jockeys the drunkies yeah i thought they were dunkins no i mean duncan's dog donuts don cachino [Music] he killed that man what yeah oh my god just kill on screen marcus you give him in the med star wait wait wait wait wait if this is what the movie was it would be so good yeah just the rest of this is true this is the movie no it's not it's shrimp is favorite everything's his favorite he's a glutton he's really fuzzy he's come out of here they added a lot of body shapes they had a lot of follicles to him in this one he's like a ball sack his skin is like ball sack tissue it's like that monster's what is ballsack texture green skin green and wrinkly sprinkly and then when you cut it little beans fall out like a beanie baby like a bee bag is that not what's in your balls like if you slice your nuts out the little beans no the beans the beans are not stored in the bubbles beans are not stored in the balls being the brain beans are stolen stored in the heart and the brand is the long bed it's a bit bad bit long long the new bit is long bits i'm dying he summoned everybody into his room to be like hello i am dying i would do that oh yeah oh oh god no extremely litigious cut it out going to jail i can't believe they let uh pixar use this set here for tangled i it honestly does look like yeah this way again the blind mice fell again donkey's abandoning his family yeah he's an absent father oh she's hitting him with the i'm pregnant as this boat is actually leaving so wait they're trying the plot is they're trying to find the real heir so that he doesn't have to be king right yes he's like i would rather not do this we love you please don't leave us wait why doesn't the dragon just fly them over the ocean why didn't they fly the eagles [Laughter] i said i'm pregnant i love you yeah all fairness to shrek even if i was psyched about having kids i would react the same way right now because you you just sent me over the ocean yeah well i'm good these days it's like weeks i have to spend with these two [ __ ] and i'm just like oh you're pregnant survive you might get [ __ ] dysentery i hope we both see each other again oh he's hallucinating hallucinating also known as dreaming night hallucinations every night i get these fake memories doc i don't know what's wrong with you at night i live different lives i feel like this is very also obtuse of a concept for kids to understand well yeah i i i do specifically know that as a kid i was like why is he scared of babies that's stupid i'm seeing why this isn't funny it's not trying to tell any jokes it's pee-pee poo-poo humor for children and then it's like references for adults we're sisters shirey it's worcestershire like the sauce mmm it's spicy it's not spicy why would donkey say that donkey's so [ __ ] stupid in this i hate him donkey gets with the jack sparrow effect where he just like becomes his horrible character yeah they know donkey was funny in two movies and now he's just here to say dumbass [ __ ] no we can't illustrate why a movie is not funny because like we can't show the not jokes that are happening right anyone born in like 1999 or younger is going to be like you guys are just [ __ ] new i liked this movie when i was a kid yeah you know what of course you did you were six years you were an audience yet you [ __ ] [ __ ] you were stupid why can't we just make this lance trektober just like dreamworks movies we could have already touched sharktail over the hedge those are the only two dreamworks movies [Laughter] that will keep your seat warm that's right i'm looking at you jousting team ah jousting team or me because fantasy thing that is in medieval time is funny cause when modern life that's this [ __ ] movie's only joke oh i forgot i forgot the princesses become yes the princesses like get personalities in this movie but they're all bad ah she's asleep that's kind of funny actually what is it he's a living babysitter where's the baby [Laughter] all the funny is dan's not in the bathroom for all the funny jokes i just love her ass is knocked out now you'll have plenty of time to work on your marriage holy [ __ ] yeah that was scathing your flop marriage that you [ __ ] are like oh my god oh yeah here's this act of terrorism oh my god they're gonna actually committing an act of terrorism what the [ __ ] yeah why is there war yeah what well i don't remember this [ __ ] this is game of thrones now this is like that scene where cersei's like drinking the wine in the panic room the only thing you're ever gonna be king of is king of the stupid yeah did you get his ass yeah dude this is actually this is they're doing like the knives out thing he can't lie so they can get all the information out of it yeah you're telling me you don't know where shrek is it wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that i couldn't exactly not say that there's or isn't almost partial this is kind of funny he's like not answering this is the thing this is why shrek one and two are funny because the funniest bits are not shrek dialogue these these characters you have to be clever and write jokes for them yeah because you can't just be like oh waffles reverence but the puppet is in the movie they have them for the main character or something like these guys have to actually do [ __ ] unfortunately cat joke again yeah these are the original characters so like trek and donkey they just all they have to go off of kicking each other in the nuts and puss in boots is just oh he's a [ __ ] cat he's a cat funny why is he have a baby face he isn't supposed to be old listen at least he looks different than every other [ __ ] character that looks like prince charming you know what's crazy is that the fourth one is worse too at least i haven't seen the fourth one marcus when you look at the footage and you look back at this you'll see that i'm like avoiding looking at the screen the same way you avoid looking exactly right at the sun it's like i'm catching some of it and then i look away this is the medusa of movies wait what's happening here oh she's because she's she's a traitor conniving that's why she's a [ __ ] the whole time she just wants that dick what if she just stabbed him in the back game of thrones she blows up the whole citadel put it on the record notice when the when the inevitable shrek reboot comes out they're gonna make game of thrones jokes is another dead bird joke you gotta kill some birds it's shrek shrek it's like it's like a rocky and jojo's killing dogs and cats where are we going to be there i'm gonna bet right now like a hundred dollars that justin timberlake doesn't actually sing a [ __ ] note in this movie okay a hundred dollars oh wait oh here we go here's a bit they switched bodies why couldn't you have them do the voices too impressions of each other they're famous actors and voice actors at this point what's happening who's keeping him dancing why is he even doing that he just has he likes it you're an ogre you literally broke a ship with a bottle earlier he doesn't want to save him then they should have made that joke what is dracula doing here yeah that's castlevania boss back there is a souls game does prince charming really have these soldiers unwavering loyalty yeah we could literally say oh this is the actual king i should kill him she's pulling me through okay i thought he was singing for a [ __ ] second i was like does not count pay up baby i hate that shrek is worked into a formula and that that formula is just not funny anymore shrek is you open up with a montage yeah with a song with a song then at the end of the movie sad scene with song all the characters are really upset song then a big action scene with exciting song but then it's gotta end with donkey singing a song we've got a perfect setup okay cool all right so the violence is kicking in right yep yep yep so we have the perfect setup for a nice good like die hard ending violent scene like every other shrek movie had everybody stop here we go oh you're oh this is what you meant that just because people treat you like a villain or an ogre it doesn't mean you are one uh i learned the lesson in the beef in the first movie it's so cool that shrek they not only recycle the format they recycle the theme you gotta say this is a really bad this sucks boring ass ending i was a child when this came out and i knew oh my god it is game of thrones [Music] they killed him well i thought the point was no violence i love that like the whole point was we can't solve this with violence and they murdered him and everybody's clapping it's funny how like we really just lost all faith on shrek this is yeah this is what breaks us because the first two are great is that really is this where it's gonna end please just let it end that was really wow donkey singing somebody owes me a hundred dollars donkey sang a song megan what's that new thing you're doing i'm doing a thing called simschool and class is now in session you should come join me and i can teach you some things i have no idea what it is but i am thoroughly interested click here for megan's new channel everybody point in a different spot it'll be somewhere who knows well oh they got eels i told you eels is in every moment stop talking about shrek bye

Channel: The Cosmonaut Variety Hour

Views: 681,980

Keywords: shrektober

Id: Z0Cgbk0ilL4

Length: 14min 48sec (888 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 28 2021