Ship launched fighter "review" [Elite Dangerous]

yes oh hey need your ask to help older nothing calling for an independent adjudicator can someone sacrifice me one preferably one with tender for cheeks and slender for one it's necessary for a task is it that horse gun okay so who can I get four feds nope nope nope he's Imperials his independence is dead okay no one-size it fed so that leaves only one option we start with the best and as a true imperial it naturally falls upon me to cover the astonishing work of art that is the Imperial fighter avoiding the flashiness of the Empire or the aspirator fueled rage of the Federation the tamp at the Taipan is the perfect middle ground that does a little of everything and does it right and I'll proudly take a look at condor just me the three little semi cons offered to us come with the price of 15,000 but before that you'll need a fighter by and the cheapest one costs five hundred seventy five thousand so the total price of having a fighter is almost the same as having Diamondback Scout now that's a bright prospect her engineers take that purpose use tools open up a gaping hole in your ship and stuff it full of hot load oh my oh Kinki the ship launch fighter system is something that unhappy the pilots federation has finally made publicly available having a pair of Imperial fighters launch from your ship increases your basking potential by 200% those are numbers that can't be ignored seriously though the ship launch fighter represents new ways to defend yourself new ways that I feel may become all the more valuable in the near future as well although fighting was not a focus during my time at Cannon we didn't understand a need for variety and defense platforms out here in the Black Press let me decide for traders or explorers who want a little insurance in the tanker parts of space you could do a lot worse before del begin it must be noted that only select few ships can utilize the fighter hangar on the screen you can see them all and I must mention keelback needs the second pilot's seat as well now because I for the life of me could not find a competent federal pilot to help us out probably due to like a brain power insufficient incentive or all or whatever else those idiots in Federation have issues with I'll be looking at core dynamics carefully crafted abortion in unfortunate occurrence of unprotected intercourse I believes the politically correct term hashtag oopsy poopsy waitwhat friends want to do what oh I love Federation that absolutely wonderfully I just can't wait to tell you how much better Condor is than its competitors from outside Condor looks man I mean looks good yes it looks good but seriously the design is your typical core dynamic solid straight edge power machine and I like it yeah the paint job is mad but I'm guessing the devs just want us to buy more microtransactions putting cynicism aside I honestly have no issues with it it's a solid little thing that is both utilitarian and combat based even with Eagle I could pick a bone with those wings being too wide making overall profile bigger but this this to me is a prime example of proper combat design for a spaceship I have to say the doubt of all fighters this is what I expect a fighter to look like Mattel play guns and the cockpit all pointed generally in the right directions but as I move inside the cockpit the tone somewhat shifts see eagle was a huge surprise for me hanging both functional design and good looks condor on the other hand looks like something that was designed by dull Lacey using nothing but angle grinder and the wielding torch hey guys what do you think good okay now what we're missing paint what have you lost your mind it cost so much we'll go bankrupt I know it costs relatively well but come on I save a penny and in for an obscene paycheck am i right besides core dynamics in their ships so yeah I suspect some delay see fiddling and making of this ship oh the panel's look so cheap I can't believe this is a cause I Namek ship I keep forgetting where I am and I constantly think that I'm back in my golden dumpster fire hey case ID windy fortunately this is an exception for Fed ships and most others are still pinnacle of cool design so now we come to the true star of the show the Imperial fighter has been a mainstay of Imperial forces for hundreds of years and over that time the design has been perfected by the artisans at goethe mayer to become the all-round best ship launch fighter to be found I believe the politically correct phrasing is artisanal after birth hashtag nada Lucchese from the styling to the performance the Imperial fighter is the best of the best a ship that's truly worthy of its basking status it may not boast as fast as the federal tin can it may not have the survivability of the type and but its mix of maneuverability speed and firepower mean that an imperial fighter is the way to go now tell me how many slaves died making these things or do you prefer to ward workers just because you don't understand the finer workings of the Imperial Social Security system you have to complain sure come one come all Empire welcomes one and all we have work for everyone that is we have sweat shots for everyone open 24/7 those sweatshops a state-of-the-art Imperial factories mines and farms operated by the kindest hearted people in the galaxy this nonsense propaganda against our perfectly justifiable and fair social welfare system needs to stop by asking aside you all do understand that you're placing your life in the work of slaves that want nothing more than to kill their oppressors and the users of their tech just putting that out there from the outside the imperial fighter states everything you need to know you know the pilot is used to sophistication to style to luxury in short you know the pilot demands elegance in every aspect of their life even if it's when they're out on a casual murder spirit you also know the ship you are looking at is deadly it's fine lines and barely concealed Menace leave you in no doubt as to the destructive capabilities hidden beneath the surface also have I mentioned it's the only fighter you can bar skin because you can and there's nothing more important than basking right guys guys is that why all Imperial ships are wait I really hope that was paint oh sure if you call having tried testicle for a ship good enough to bask I won't stop you seriously those Imperials man so moving swiftly on to the inside of the fighter as he standard from Goethe Meyer designs the inside of the Imperial fighter is worthy of being in a 6-star hotel or glamorous cruise ship for the galaxy's uber rich subtle lighting underpins everything with Goethe Meyers signature curves dominating the aesthetics unfortunately Goethe Meyer is forced to use the standardized hard interface technology hard that every manufacturer is forced to use by the pilots Federation so the hard is the same as any other ship but as always Goethe Meyer have worked with the Shi T interface as best they can leading to a cockpit fit for an emperor sad day when I'm the voice of reason now is one of the more popular at CFN moving targets my focus has been and will always be survivability get there get back keep flying doesn't hurt to look good while you do it now the Taipan named after snake and shaped like a leopard the Patera that's four wings for the barbarians watching brings to the void the quintessential the sublime plushies built like a brick unfolding like an origami kick in the dick in the balls all the lines angles and stylings are enough to make any aesthetic engineer bask in a way that legally requires a safe word inside the content owner of this marvel of Technology will feel snuggled safely like a poofy panda bear surrounded by one of the most advanced mechanized tools for death-dealing and high speed bunking when you pull high G's during combat you can comfortably give the middle finger to the aggressors barking for your head and if you ever run out of ammo or feel like bringing honor to your family country and for the Daniell you can just Ram the and fly away smiling just remember to go to the loo before stepping into this pit of cuz getting in around as a oh and don't expect to get there too quickly either she may be versatile but like a bad girlfriend she moves at half the speed of smell unless you're on or in her ass okay that's nice and dandy but we really haven't discussed the actual mechanics of these clumps of afterbirth so as I counted putting weapons aside there are two versions of Condor and Taipan while Imperials seem to have most consistency by having one in this micropenis pissing contest hi yes the Condor federal ship design at its finest oh function no style and to add insult of injury just like every other role-specific ship they produce it's outclassed by its competitors it's the elite equivalent of the TIE fighter from Star Wars the pace box designed to instill fear from sheer weight and mass-produced cannon fodder wealth and tastic you can take joystick crackler okay to start us off with your version of a lake humper now first it should be pointed out the goat mire have been their usual thoughtful selves and have added substance to the style afforded by the Imperial fighter to this end you can choose the Imperial fighter of in a variety of deadly well-dressed loadouts the Imperial fighter is the most maneuverable of the bunch this makes up for its weaker shields because the best way to survive a shot is to not get hit by it in the first place this means that not only do you look sharp but than anything else in the conflict zone you also survive longer while you do it so simply put if you want the Premiership launch fighter you imperio if you want to fly around in an ugly wannabe Swiss Army knife then I think Altemus has some information for you funny as a Swiss Army knife is still found in every survival kit across the galaxy but I get the shade sharpest thing you can find in the Imperium is a butter knife this baby flies like a fine each Scotch smooth good inspected fuzziness on the edges that aside this homicidal Tonka truck still allows even a schmuck like me to be deadly in some bad situations where this truly shines though is in a defensive role the Taipan is not one to throw the first punch but it usually throws the last no matter which version you choose you're guaranteed to be in a perpetual state of lightheadedness due to the blood thirst of your raging man rod in any and all imminent violence it forces the D in defense after looking into Condors little performance she that wasn't too surprised the highest top speed yet the lowest boost speed aside from Aegis F and Lois maximum DPS but you know what all that matters not because Federation or in this case core dynamics decided they really wanted to stand out well I suppose the millions of corpses of federal pilots killed in those substandard death traps means they get mentioned on the news along I'll up mr. unicorn 1c no core dynamics actually gave their ship a proper name and it's also the only fighter with multi cannons not fixed beam lasers who would ever think laser pointers were a bad idea outside of raves this particular build is quite good at eating away hull Armour it's arguably the best fighter for NPC use don't watch out Condor still tends to drift a lot more than the other ships and if you don't use the strafe thrusters you'll be doing some initial D worthy slides and so in the end I I just can't take it anymore I love Imperial fighter for its performance and type and for its looks to me it's weird that like on just like with Diamondbacks I actually chose to make something futuristic and cool but considering that alternative for the type and would be a floating trash bag with crack needle sticking out of it I'll take an occasional oddball design from Lake on cockpit oh yeah you can't beat good Tamiya so that's a clear win for them well lake on just uses the thickest eye beams they could find and court I never hiring delacey to design theirs anyhow Condor in itself is ok I guess but the drift and lackluster boost speed kind of makes me wish I had the other two sure multi cannon Condor will eat all like no one's business but frankly I prefer gimbal beam lasers because you know I'm a prophetic gimble scrot besides those lasers each shields and all heatsinks this is simple these two will try and tell you that there are relative positives and negatives to each of these ships this is a lie at the end of the day you can either look as hammock so wonderfully puts it fabulous while you go on a murder hobo spree in a ship launch fighter or you can look like a car stuff from Swiss military knife manufacturer or you can die in a tin can to summarize fly Imperial or don't bother in the end these are machines of war if you like the shooty shooty fresh and fruity approach to things they are all the right choice MSF style over substance feds have substance with abuse and lay Khan has the origami kick in the dick in the balls but like the concept of the hat on a hat the one you choose is the right choice except if you choose feds or amps then you're an idiot now as much as I like to sit here and furiously masturbate and angrily ejaculate kammath you too let's just end this thing on simple phrases so people can decide for themselves for me the Condors basically a vomit comet if you don't get it just Ram anything and the type N is the bar brass thought happen bow mouth chillin and tapping like nobody's business and meanwhile we have the Imperial fighter the spinning disco ball of death our even fish no stop stop turning goddamn it come on oh oh oh oh come just keep your lunch in keep your lunch in if your lunch it come on I can fit come on baby don't be like that I can fit [Music] actually let's see oh yes I can ladies and gentlemen hitboxes another collision boxing now whatever pull up just not at me I'm sorry but you're sticky I'm sorry I'm surrounded by two of the stickiest ships in the in the verse cuz I know for a fact that's not painted Wow okay yeah no I need a second okay I can't stop it from turning please stop please stop thank you they're actually pushing it back that small fight that is actually pushing okay I'm in a punching bag I want you to I want you to record this the tenacious little type and the type and that could be small but it's fierce oh okay can we not capture that it's fine fine okay what's going on with your ship it's nothing nothing look away it's losing confidence in you [Music] commander this stay put you know yes I told it to stay put but she's being coy you take it and you'll like it there see there we go consensually doesn't type-ins now with a hey be sure there are some things I don't know oh wait okay delay see vs. okay [Laughter] and don't can't shame me there we go [Laughter]

Channel: TheYamiks

Views: 284,094

Keywords: yamiks, theyamiks, ymk, video game, game, sarcasm, thoughts, cynical, funny, fps, ship launched fighter, slf, elite, dangerous, ed, fdev, frontier, condor, imperial fighter, taipan, fighter, combat, speed, weapon, lazor, multicanonn, lakon, core dynamics, gutamaya, empire, federation, independant, stats, review

Id: XFkmrWUeuoI

Length: 16min 16sec (976 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 12 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/Supermunch2000]

Good "review" and nice to hear CMDR Artimus Tau's voice again.

[u/YiffingIsASin]

Thanks yamiks

[u/melancholymax]

Stop.