Shepherds' Conference 2012 | General Session 4 - Voddie Baucham

over your Bibles have you have them with you to Ephesians chapter 5 the faeces chapter 5 and I'll share with you the message that dr. MacArthur asked me to bring talking about our leadership in our homes this is a seminal issue you know it's interesting several months ago we watched a tragedy unfold at Penn State University where an icon a hero Joe Paterno saw everything that he had worked and lived for for more than four decades disintegrate right before his eyes and although if you look at his death certificate it will say that he died of cancer I don't think anyone would argue that what happened to him had nothing to do with it the fact of the matter is it had to contribute to the abrupt ending of the man's life and what's this Daanish thing about it is how quickly it happened and how absolute the response was a man in his position should have known better should have done more should have it just an absolute line in the sand you are disqualified you lost his position as many would in our day and age but but how many of us believe that had he been discovered to be an adulterer or an abusive husband or a derelict father or an absentee father or an abusive father that Penn State would have said you're disqualified in fact there is no profession in our culture wherein a man would be disqualified because of his failures as a husband and the father except one and that's ours doctors lawyers coaches judges there's a man running for president right now who's on his third wife and regardless of your politics the point I'm making is it's not a disqualifier but for us it is we are held to a different standard but the question is why well before we get to that here's what I've been pondering not only are we unique in the fact that being derelict and those responsibilities would be a disqualifier and that separates us from everyone else in our culture everyone else in our culture there's no one who's held to that standard but it's even more significant to that than that not only is it a disqualifier if we live our lives in that way but biblically it is a qualifier for us to be exemplary as husbands and as fathers so so not only on that on the negative side can we not just fail miserably in that area and expect to stay in the positions that we have but from a biblical perspective in order to enter into these positions that we have according to Titus chapter one and verse six and according to first Timothy tip for sympathy chapter three verses 4 and 5 were qualified for our positions based upon being exemplary husbands and exemplary fathers and I say perfect absolutely not you can't be an example if you're a perfect husband pastor I just can can you just help me I'm struggling with what to do I blew it with my wife and I want to make that right can you help me with that Wow I really wish I could but I have no idea what that looks like pastor can you just pray for me because my son I don't think he's gonna make it is it a terminal illness no but I don't think he's gonna make it cannot comprehend being that angry with a child but I'll try to pray for you not perfect but exemplary again the question is why does God just throw this standard out there absolutely not and I believe if we understand this picture here in the book of Ephesians we'll understand the significance of the marriage relationship in general and the family in general but also why it is so significant for us in order to understand this I wants to look briefly at this letter more carefully because what I'm going to argue is that the reason that this is so important for us not only a disqualifier but a qualifier is because of the gospel not because the family is so important in and of itself and the family is important in and of itself but but the government's important to in and of itself but it's important because of the gospel this is about the gospel this is one of the many implications of the gospel this is a picture of the gospel that is why this is a non-negotiable for us not just because families are in trouble in our day and families are in trouble in our day but everybody's in trouble in our day families have always been in trouble I see so many dysfunctional families around me really you do because as far as my theology goes there's only been one non dysfunctional family in the history of the world and there the family that invented dysfunction to understand Ephesians chapter five we have to understand Ephesians this book divided perfectly in half the first three chapters of the book are about orthodoxy the last three about worth of practicing the first three about right believing the last three about right behaving the first three about our calling the last three about our conduct the first three about the indicative and the last three about the imperatives and we must grasp that if we're going to understand the book of Ephesians we have to understand the difference between the indicative than the indicative what Christ has accomplished on our behalf to his father's glory through the cross that's what we find in the first half of the book what Christ has accomplished on our behalf to the father's glory through the cross those are the indicative that's who and what we are in the second half we see the imperatives and the imperatives are how we are called and empowered and motivated to live as a direct result of the person and work of Christ but us on the one hand we see who we are and the second half we see who were called enabled empowered and motivated to be and if we just join these two what we end up doing is confusing what the gospel requires and what the gospel produces and that is no gospel at all you end up with works/righteousness if you do that what the gospel requires is repentance and faith what the gospel produces is obedience and so we have to keep these things in view we have to understand this if we want to understand marriage in the fifth chapter here of this letter now not only do we have the indicative in the first half and the imperatives in the second half but we have what I call this sort of grand indicative at the beginning of the book let me give this to you and then we'll look at the major overarching indicative in the first three chapters that'll take us through Ephesians chapter five and we can understand why marriage has the significance that it does chapter 1 beginning in verse 3 blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before him and love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ according to the purpose of his will to the praise of his glorious grace with which he blessed us in the beloved in him we have redemption through his blood the forgiveness of our trespasses according to the riches of His grace which he lavished upon us and all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will according to the purpose which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time to unite all things in him things in heaven things on earth he blessed us he chose us he predestined us he blessed us he lavished upon us he made known to us what have you been told to do absolutely nothing what have you been told you can do absolutely everything but note these phrases in Christ in the beloved in him through Jesus Christ in the beloved in him through his blood in Christ in him what Christ has accomplished on our behalf to his father's glory through the cross that's the grand indicative here but then at the end of each chapter Paul gives us these overarching indicative and they're the key to understanding the book of Ephesians look at the end of chapter 1 in verse 22 and he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church which is his body the fullness of him who fills all in all the first grand indicative as we come to the end of this chapter is Christ's headship over his body that's what this letter is about it's about Christ's headship over his body there's a second grand indicative that comes at the end of chapter 2 look beginning in verse 19 so then you are no longer strangers in aliens but you are fellow citizens with the Saints and members of the household of God built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone in whom the whole structure being joined together grows into a holy temple in the Lord in him you are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the spirit so the first overarching indicative is Christ's headship over his body the second one we heard about this on yesterday is unity in Christ's body by the way notice that in that unity he uses these structural illustrations and they all go to the idea of a household they go from the idea of a household to the idea of a temple that's important hold on to that the third and final overarching indicative here is found at the end of chapter 3 that's where we find the crescendo and we know that we've reached a turning point because we have a doxology here and and amen so look at chapter 3 beginning in verse 20 now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think according to the power at work within us to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever amen the third overarching indicative is the glory that the body gets to its head you want to understand the book of Ephesians grab three things Christ's headship over his body unity in Christ's body and the glory that the body gives to its head you get to the second half of this letter and you hear these things and see these things again and again and again those are the indicative those are the things that empower us equip us and motivate us to do all that we are commanded to do in the second half of the book we have to have that in order now come with me to Ephesians chapter five and let's begin in verse 22 wives submit to your own husband's as to the Lord why for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church his body and as himself its Savior now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands does this have anything to do with the superiority of men over women absolutely not this has everything to do with Christ's headship over his body why is this significant it's significant because in the first half in the indicative one of the grand overarching indicative of the entire book is Christ's headship over his body we see later on in chapter 5 that marriage is a living breathing picture an illustration if you will of the relationship between Christ and His Church if this picture is going to be an accurate one and not a blasphemous one then just as the church submits to Christ the wife must submit to her husband not because of social roles norms and mores not even because of the success of society but because of the gospel that's why it's significant now we get to the husband's part and here's what we're gonna hang out for a minute husbands love your wives now you can stop there but he doesn't and by the way there's an imperative for favorites all one husbands love your wives that's just it how do you get away from that husbands love your wives I don't I don't want to yeah but he commanded you to you have to love her sheesh your wife I don't even you don't understand how bad it is man I don't even I don't even see her as my wife anymore well that's fine love your neighbor as yourself she's your closest neighbor right there beside you in the bed you don't get more neighborly than that all right rather we leave we don't even we don't even sleep together anymore I sleep on the couch oh well that's cool because he's your sister in Christ by this all men will know that you're my disciples that you have love one for another I I don't even know if I'm still a Christian okay I'm a Christian but I don't think she's a Christian that's fine love your enemies and that would be enough would it not but I want you to grasp this husband's love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her now watch what happens and I don't think we have to force this then he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of the water of the word does it mean to sanctify her it means to set her apart as his own that sounds like Christ's headship over his church keep reading so that he might present the church to himself that he might present the church to himself well that sounds like it might be shadows of the unity that we read about earlier and then and splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish which would bring glory to her head love your wife not Scalia he told you to but love your wife because this is about Christ what do you mean this is about Christ listen to the picture that was just painted your wife is a member of the body of Christ she belongs to Christ you love Christ with every fiber of your being God has given your wife to you that you might be a sanctifying influence in her life so that she is more like Christ and brings more glory to Christ as a result of having been married to you than she would have had she not that's why you do it it's about the gospel she belongs to him you love him she God gave her to you and God is using you as a sanctifying influence in her life sometimes just by how hard it is to live with you she can't say man you ought to say out but men does that not change your perspective hey God is not saying you know reach way down deep and try to try to find some overflowing emotion toward your wife that's not what he's saying we should be emotional toward our wives but that's not what he's saying this is about Christ this is an adopted daughter of the king of kings and the Lord of lords you have been United with her in a covenant relationship through which God has designed to set afire that's just the whole of our sanctification no absolutely no it's not the whole of her sanctification but you are to be that kind of influence in her life and because you understand Christ's headship over his body the unity and Christ's body and the glory that the body gives to its head what you do is not turn to your wife in hopes that you can receive from her some motivation to love her but turn to the Lord see this is not about me loving my wife so that she can in turn give me what I want that's selfish I'm loving you baby I'm loving you cuz cuz cuz well I really I'm loving you because I want you to give me what I want but but I'm loving you that's idolatry pure and simple here's the other thing that won't last I'm loving my wife so that she can satisfy me first of all that's idolatry because she was never meant to be my satisfaction Christ is but secondly she's a frail fragile flawed human being and I'm going to be dissatisfied with her so if my only reason for loving her is to increase my level of satisfaction because of how she responds eventually I will be frustrated with that and I'll come to an end of myself but if I view her as a child of the king who's been entrusted to me and my desire is that my love that overflows to her would be a sanctifying influence in her life for the love of Christ who loved me I don't stop that if it is about Christ your endure for Christ's sake sounds really selfless but he doesn't leave us there in the same way this is good husbands should love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body first of all I love my wife with this kind of love because she's a member of Christ's body but secondly not only is she a member of his body she's a member of mine she's not just mine she's me here's the picture lord you saved me you redeemed me you sustain me I love you I'm grateful to you you gave me this woman and a stewardship in her life my desire is to love her in a way that draws her closer to you here she is Lord here she is be satisfied and he looks to you and says enjoy I'm giving her to you Jesus yes enjoy she's bone of your bone flesh of your flesh delight in the wife of your youth drink deeply from your own cistern enjoy as a gift from Christ himself now look at the last part of this therefore a man shall leave his father and mother hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church however let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see to it that she respects her husband now there's this picture of the one flesh Union there's this sanctifying love this is love that God uses in the life of a wife so mysterious here Paul says it it's mysterious I don't understand it she's more like him who do I love more anything in the world Christ she becomes more radiant and more like the one whom I love more than anything else in the world and he says to me enjoy now there's this picture of this one flesh Union this sexual relationship between a man and his wife and I know there's a lot of talk going on about you know books off they are being written about sex and so on and so forth and it's the language that you use and when you talk about what you don't talk about let me give you this picture because I don't think we think enough of sex I didn't say I don't think we think of sex enough that's not our problem but we don't think enough of sex marriage is this living breathing picture of the relationship between Christ and His Church do you know that the church is anxiously anticipating the return of our Savior you know that the church is anxiously groaning and anticipating the consummation of all things the wedding feast of the Lamb the union with the one who saved us we are anxiously anticipating that we say come Lord Jesus news flash the sexual union between a man and his wife is a living breathing all inspiring expression of the ecstasy of the Union that the church awaits you don't think highly enough of sex you don't respect it enough you don't honor it enough there is a beauty and a glory here that we have simply missed now you run tell that to your kids you don't do that don't don't do that really well how could be told me to do that because obviously you know you did that so we got here so how come you don't mean to do that well just don't do that because it's bad or it's bad but I thought it was mean youth that time we got here but just know cuz it's bad it'll be good what you wondering right now it's just bad no listen to me son his is glorious and it is a glorious manifestation of the ecstasy which the church awaits as her head and her groom returns for her don't you dare make less of it than that I don't want you to be afraid of it I don't want you to look down on it don't you dare look down on it it's awesome we overused that word awesome and most of the stuff that we say is awesome it's not son this is awesome honey lion man it is but it's awesome because of this picture of Christ and his bride the church and you should know more it legitimately unites yourself physically with a woman outside of marriage then Christ should unite himself with one who is not his own different answer last part of this I had a couple minutes left with interpretation now flowing from that children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right when I'd start out marriage but we're also talking about family and raising our children remember those qualifications that we have in Titus 1:6 have to do with our children that in first Timothy chapter 3 verses four and five has to do with our governance of our home children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right honor your father and mother this is the first commandment with a promise it's the only one with the promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord it flows naturally from the marriage relationship and the one flesh Union what is produced by the marriage relationship and the ones less Union what is produced via its offspring there's the picture yeah you go to Genesis chapter 2 and verse 18 and all of a sudden you've seen this pattern for six days of creation let there be then there was it was good let there breathing there was it was good let there be then there was it was good let there be then there was it was good you get used to that you just kind of get into the rhythm of it now you get in chapter 2 and verse 18 it for the first time God said something is not good what's not good not good for the man to be alone really does that mean that every man has to be married no it can't mean that we know from first Corinthians chapter 7 in Matthew chapter 19 that it cannot mean that every man has to be married what does it mean that the triune God of the universe the importance of the Trinity here makes man in His image and then says it's not good for the man to be alone the god of the universe the one true and living God who has existed eternally and three persons the son eternally begotten of the Father and the Spirit eternally proceeding from the father and the son makes man in His image and says that's not good then from the man he makes a woman and from their union they produce offspring every time I talk about this and get guys who go oh wait a minute well then the single guy a single guy doesn't have that picture yeah absolutely he does yeah but he doesn't have a wife and children yeah but he is a child from a one flesh Union every human being reflects that tri-unity in God and the offspring from our union reflects that but more importantly than that God sends to our home souls who do not know him we say that God's called us to the gospel ministry so that we can preach the gospel to every creature and God sends us souls in our home ere day not every day ear day that's beyond everyday who do not know him listen to me a man who does not take great care to nurture evangelize and disciple the children in his home has no business in pastoral ministry it'll be kept up at night over lost kids burdened over children who do it yet know him crying out to God on their behalf what should wait on you more than this and yet here's the irony this is supposed to be the only place where failure in this area disqualifies you and being exemplary in this area qualifies you the overwhelming majority of churches that I'm aware of don't even ask a man about his marriage and his discipleship of his children we don't care do you know what's wrong with that here's what's wrong with that this is about the gospel this is about the Christ but we say we love and we serve and Christ who loves his church says through his apostles when you consider a man look at how he Shepherds his wife look at how he Shepherds his children because if he's failing there he's already told you he can't do this job but what are we saying when his credentials look like what does he sound like as a public speaker give us more men we're passionate for the souls of the children and passionate about the picture of the gospel that's being painted in their relationship with their wife give us more men like that folks we got enough seminary men I stand before you as a seminary man had more degrees than a thermometer but you and I both know that the world is filled with seminary men who shouldn't be allowed close to a pulpit but this is the picture this is significant and it's significant because of Christ's headship over his body that is pictured in the relationship between a husband and his wife as a wife lovingly submits to her husband as unto the Lord it's a picture of the unity in Christ's body as husband and wife in spite of their sinfulness strive because of what Christ has accomplished on their behalf to the father's glory strive motivated by that and empowered by that to live with one another in that one flesh Union in a god-honoring way and does God blesses them with children and they strive to present the gospel to them consistently and passionately with a view toward seeing them come to faith in Christ that we might also say with our children here cuz I love you more than anything in the world you gave them to me I love them and I want them to be yours this is not about the culture having better marriages though I'm all for that this is not about the world thinking better of us though I'm all for that this is about the gospel here's why this is important and I'll close with this oftentimes to talk about these issues of marriage and family what I hear from men consistently is this but you don't know how bad it is out there and men have not seen examples therefore they do not know how to be husbands and fathers I don't do real well with that I mean really I just don't I don't do well with that and I'll just be honest with you I don't do real well with that pray for me cuz I don't I don't do real well with that for a couple of reasons one because I was raised not far from here and drug infested gang infested South Central Los Angeles California raised by a single teenage Buddhist mother never heard the gospel - my first year in college my wife and I who've been married for 23 years on both sides of our family combined there have been 25 marriages in the last two generations 25 marriages and 22 divorces 26 first cousins there are two besides me currently married to and living with a spouse my paternal grandmother and grandfather live next door to each other had three children and were not married one day that cannot be an excuse for me to fail as a father here's the second reason I have made born-again blood washed follower of the Lord Jesus Christ who has given me the only perfect picture that any man has ever seen or ever needs to see I do not need an imperfect human man to show me what it means to be a father because I have the perfect God man who not only shows me that but lives inside of me and empowers me to be what he's called me to be am i that perfectly no I'm not that perfectly better today than yesterday and better tomorrow than today not because of pulling myself up by my own bootstraps but because I am kept and sustained by Christ I keep my face before him and as his glorious radiance shines upon me I see what it means to be a man to be a husband and to be a father I recognized that I cannot do this in and of myself but in Christ in him through him by his blood in him there's nothing that he calls me to for which he will not equip me and through which he will not see me my God is able

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Keywords: Shepherds', Conference, 2012, General, Session, Voddie, Baucham

Id: JcNUQduNiII

Length: 38min 29sec (2309 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 15 2012