She Is Beautiful | Why I Don't Have a Face Reveal | Jaiden Animations Reaction | AyChristene Reacts

hey buddy did you got Christine and it's still Friday still an awesome day it's the last day of the work week which is awesome this week kind of like blue that's really quick and I appreciate it thank you Jesus thank you lord I have really freaking awesome news but I want to do it a certain way so I'm going to make sure I do that and if I don't do it there's a certain way that I want to do it then I'll just tell you guys in another video but I was really excited about this thing and I would love to share with you guys what I want to do it a certain way so I will work hard to do it that way but meanwhile we are here with a highly requested video this is what why I don't have a face reveal this is by Jayden animation the link to this video will be in the description box below for you to check out I know a lot of people have been requesting that it took us to see they said it's sad so be like to try not to cry so we will see I see in the description fist so please stop asking so flashing colors that's a warning I'm a little more visible to concern them I hope that everything's okay but I guess we'll all find out or you guys already know but I guess I'm going to find out in this video and yeah thing was everything I gotta say look for the features in the description box below hope to see you at election now let's get this video has been in the back of my head for longer than it should have been and I think it's about time I talk about it and explain why things are the way they are is right here just to see what I look like just hold on a bit longer I have had really important things to explain actually the first few reasons I don't show myself are because I don't want people to have an opinion of my content and who I am based on what I look like we live in a society that almost revolves around appearance people can some people can be very other looks people even people can be very judgmental not like someone and fine if you don't like me or what I do but if your only reason would be because you don't like what I look like and then what kind of argument is that eventually I and the third alarm I still want to have privacy but there's a main reason and I haven't told this story to anyone the thing is I don't tell people my problems because I feel like handle them on my own and I don't want to drive people into my messes I cannot hurt anyone and if you knowing I'm hurt hard to you and I don't want to tell you when I'm hurting yeah I mean I didn't laugh but here we go doesn't even open I think very highly of myself I joke about it a lot and I'm pretty open about it when I was young I actually had a lot of confidence people gave me compliments and said things and I believed them and was proud of myself but and that older I began having doubts i starving everybody that well we're lying tell me a said things and didn't really mean it words can't affect you when you don't let them people say that all the time but it's easy to forget it goes the same way with positive words as negative that led me to telling myself I wasn't good enough and I had to do better my standards slowly started getting higher and higher without me realizing how bad and good and a lot of high school it can be like I wasn't good enough for anything even though people I disagree now why are doing so great you're so talented I would say thank you not to be rude but you never believed it here out yeah I didn't hear it I went to college with the same mindset not feeling a lot of people go to hell for a team and Anders for myself I was getting higher and that's the problem I push myself so hard to get better at everything and I do improve but it's still not enough for me the bar keeps getting higher before I can grab it like learning a staircase where the top keeps getting further away in the ball and chain attached here and nothing so hard-earned dollar but you keep trying eventually this branched out to more than just what I was doing it started seeping into my self-image which wasn't high in the first place either it wasn't only telling me what I was doing wasn't enough it started telling me I wasn't enough and that's when I started wanting to fix it I started eating less trying to be happier with myself I'm naturally very soon and I've never had issues with way more but it was like a switch in my brain that all of a sudden that wasn't good enough either it became all I could think about my whole day revolved around what I ate what was then a how many calories every detail your already been complete control I really let myself have was half an apple and ten Cheerios and I felt happy about it look how in control I admit I wasn't I was in this downward spiral I built up many years and rules and my head got foggy and fog year every day lack of nourishment prevented me from being able to think clearly and then making irrational decisions I was telling myself this week that I had to do to be happy of course it was extremely painful starving myself eventually I decided I would go the entire day eating as close to nothing as possible and then at the end to stop the pain followed by erasing it a hole on our schedule went on me several months I don't even remember anything else I was doing in my life it all just became a blur the only thing I can truly remember looking back now was just being so tired and cold and sad all the time I wasn't able to see I was getting thinner and thinner nothing was good enough and my brain didn't let me see how horrible it was getting I don't know what happened but eventually I was able to break through and tell myself this wasn't what I wanted I didn't want to liberate this anymore and I had to get better now here's the thing people don't realize eating disorders are the easy part the rough part is breaking it you create these fears and rule in so long that when you want to escape the jail cell you've built around yourself they beckon you to stay and try to drag you back here promising the imagery how they're only here to protect you they let you feel like you're the one in control when you're not you're the puppet on strings and when you try to cut yourself free not only do you face your fears head-on but you live them there's some information about what happens to your body when it's starving when it realizes it's not getting enough food to create energy for itself it starts slowing down your metabolism which is the process of converting calories into NRA it slows down in order to conserve the energy it has your energizing things like keeping your heart pumping and your organs working but the tricky part is when you start refeeding it things don't just go back to normal right away your body doesn't trust that you'll keep feeding it again and it starts storing extra energy for the next stargazer to don't realize what that means basically it starts extra weight as energy predicting it won't have food again for a long time your metabolism is still slow and you face the nightmare that drove you to the disorder in the first place it's a lot just in your head and you long before ego and oh that little thing I believe people can be perfectly happy at any weight I'm not saying these things in order to make anyone feel right no one should ever feel enjoy how you think of yourself and as long as you're relatively healthy and take care of yourself I believe that's the most important thing but this isn't as simple as just getting thinner there's so much more to it I wish I could express you how toxic your mind becomes while dealing with something like this and be very very brave would normally function when it's clear you know what you're doing to yourself is wrong but you just can't shake it it has a death grip on you so I was attempting recovery completely on my own I remind you wanna tell how on in my life that I was going through and it was indescribably difficult I wouldn't wish it on anyone I had to be the doctor and the patient I cannot any hot as what am I hired you're on the right path but the voice was still there you're a disgrace on what you've done look what eating is done to you and isn't what you want come back to me I'm here for you I didn't want to listen to it I kept telling myself everything was fine I'm doing the right thing I just have to give it time over and over I wanted to believe it so badly but the voice wouldn't go away it's always there I didn't want anyone to see me I felt like I was a disappointment to everyone and it deserves to be in front of people I could feel their judgment in my head I didn't deserve food I was unacceptable I never wanted to leave my Rosa and I probably would have but there is one thing VidCon I already planned to go before things got so bad because you have to plan so far and again for it I didn't want to let people down by breaking my promise to be there and I wanted to see all my friends and supporters but I was in such a terrible state I didn't know what I was going to do I was panicking I wasn't ready I wasn't back to normal yet but I was approaching so quickly and there wasn't anything yak I told myself this was my punishment I did this to my back so I put on a mask and pretended to be fine I was trying to act like myself so much that I wasn't even me anymore I've been a stranger to who I actually am even there's horribly uncomfortable my weight was higher than my average from starving myself my Chiefs were swollen from making myself throw up every day for so many my mind was telling me I was a letdown to everyone my self-image and esteem was at an all-time low right my hardest to push through it every person I met the voice inside me said you're such a disappointment you aren't good at them I felt like I could feel every single person's discontent through their embrace but I didn't let the mask flip off and I shredded rucking through I let people take pictures but I really wish I didn't it was the lowest I've ever felt in my life and I felt like I was allied to everyone it was almost like I wasn't even there I wasn't present it was just a days after the convention was over I was so mentally torn to shreds okay I felt like all the progress I was trying to make to get better had just been ripped down the voices louder than ever drowning out the one that was telling me everything was going to be okay I realized I couldn't let people on YouTube see me when I was in such a toxic horrible state I messaged the person who was taking a lot of video footage and asked them if I could censor my face out I'm Malcolm Edmund who this person is because that detail doesn't add anything to this story and I don't think it would benefit anyone if I did they agreed so I spent the afternoon editing their video censoring my face I wasn't mice on the video and I didn't want people to see the mask I put on for myself when I finished and sent it over a few hours later they told me they changed their mind and wanted to post the normal video I was out loud mortified and forced myself to explain to them the main reasons why I don't want to show myself hoping that if they knew the story behind it it would help them manage their mind again but it did now had disagreements with this person in the past and from what I understand this person is very adamant when they have their mind on something and on that idea for them and explaining the story behind it enough I came to the conclusion I couldn't do anything else to change their mind and let them post it I thought I had experienced the worst already but this destroyed me a nightmare where hundreds of thousands of people are wanting to see you and then when they finally do it's at the lowest darkest point of your life and they don't even know it and you don't show yourself people develop xpect hands I don't know what those expectations hard to live up to any accommodation they don't even have they are but I believed with all my heart I disappointed every single one it's not just the fact I wasn't where I wanted to be appearance was so many people saw me for the first time when I was at such an awful point Maley and I felt so much deeper into darkness I've ever been I felt like I was drowning in my own emotions every time I tried to get back to the surface to breathe another way would crash down on me and pull me right back under again I started having even darker thoughts and I knew I should have been scared of them but I wasn't and that's what's very the voice was echoing in my head almost completely muting out the other one every day I just wanted to feel happy again I wanted to wake up and everything is just normal not one day passed without me hating myself I couldn't find a reason to get out of bed I felt broken and that no one could fix me black fog surrounded me everywhere I went and I came in gray that is no stretch thin I just I'm so now and but the waves kept coming each one stronger than the last but I kept going I don't know why there wasn't a reason and I couldn't really find one I just did and even though I didn't have a reason for myself not to give up pushing through everything I wanted to be there for critical I want to be able to be there for people like me who felt like they couldn't go to anyone and are drowning and help them like how I wanted someone to reach out and help me I want to exist for other people I don't really care about myself that may or may not be a good thing say I don't no ever since I'm an appreciating I've thought to myself that helped me I consider myself a weak person I can get knocked down relatively equally and I knock myself down a lot we always talk about how is strong one is but I feel like it doesn't have to matter how strong or weak you are what matters is that you just keep getting back up something could knock down a weak person and not even affect a strong person and it doesn't matter how many times you're knocked down but this is getting gang back up you can keep going I don't want to listen end they have it or not it's like a little were there what is it's a fact a strong person but it doesn't matter how many times you're knocked down because as long as you keep getting back up even if you have to just lay on the ground for a little while afterwards nothing's the end of the world hoeing I don't want to live in the past and I'm not here to feel sorry for myself because I'm not one to do that it doesn't get anyone anywhere the past doesn't change it happened whether you like it or no adapt and push forward even if you feel like you don't have a reasonable value so you're really going to help push people imagine if you can't help yourself help others then eventually you might be able to learn how to help yourself too if you're still here I really appreciate it I can't express how much it means to me that you care enough to listen to what some random person on the internet is saying it's aleena glory I tried to keep it as short as I could so it wasn't boring I could write a novel about all the things I felt during that time but hopefully I got at least something awesome right away and I don't know what else to say other than just thanks she is freaking beautiful she is so beautiful oh my goodness look at her I should put cutest thing ever I love everything about her like that I see I don't know a lot about her but I do love everything that I'm seeing about it and please don't get you know some people when you're trying to give a point across they decide to be in the negative but the positive thing is that everything that she felt about herself about how she felt that she didn't look good enough she was battling with anorexia and then bulimia because of internal things that moved from just house the things that she did in her life and then became self-image issues and she was too skinny because of everything was going on so she wanted to get healthier than when she got healthier indeed weight it she hated herself she did not like what she saw but she's so beautiful and that so it's so sad that a lot of people go through things like this a lot of people go through the situations where self images are the lack of the urn of their view of themselves their self image it's so torn and worn and and so heavily battered that a lot of people do not see the real them they don't see the real person that they are inside or out and because of low self esteem low confidence things that happen in their lives things that happen around them in the world sometimes things that don't just directly have anything to do with them it's just one paranoid thought that creates this wildfire of like sadness and I remember now not as the shameless plug but Lily sings book how to be about about reminds me of a lot of things it's the great thing about the book is there are a lot of things that over my life experiences I didn't relate to a lot of things in her book and a lot of the lessons or things that they're in her book are reminders of things that I've experienced you're went through and one of the things that we do is we can be really hard on ourselves and we like she said put high standards upon what we think we should be where we think we should be what we think we should be doing and there's that healthy part of that in the aspects of people who have a drive and motivation like hey I'm at point a I want to get to point B so I'm going to do what I can and get there and it cuz there's healthy moments but a lot of the times in a lot of cases when you have low self-esteem and low confidence it's not about I'm encouraged to get from point A to point B it's not the oh I want to be a doctor so I'm going to go to school and I'm going to and I can it be doctor some people it's the negative type word I don't like what I see I'm not at the height of the most beautiful person how they look I don't match them how they live I don't match them how they how their lives are I don't match that and because I don't match that I'm not good enough and I'm not going to go on forever because I know a lot of people get angry when I talk for a bit of time but when you get those moments but there is a strengthen when you fall down getting back up and moving I know she said she's a weak person because she gets knocked down but that is not the case if you get knocked down that it's normal for all to get knocked down the weight of what we're getting knocked down that varies but everybody Falls everybody gets knocked down the strength is getting back up because one step after another step after another step after another step you keep on moving you keep on fighting and you can get through whatever it is that you're going through the minute that you believe that you cannot or you will not you will never do it you have to believe that's all thing and I've talked forever on this video I appreciate everybody who does mine who doesn't mind me talking at the beginning in the end of the days i truly appreciate you guys letting me express myself and self myself all of the different parts of me and i appreciate the things that you guys have done for me what i feel similar jinx she fails you guys have really helped me through a lot of things you have no idea and I'm very grateful I thank you I love you and check out her link for her video down in the description box below let me know your thoughts love to hear your thoughts on her video or anything that I said down in the comment section below and I hope this video made your day better I hope to see you at the live stream I love you guys as always and until miss Donovan reviews don't forget to Like share and subscribe I know that was a little different but that's one will say hey maybe Twitter is a good face of snapchat [Music] [Music]

Channel: AyChristeneGames

Views: 591,921

Rating: 4.869544 out of 5

Keywords: aychristenegames, aychristenegames reacts, lps, Try not to laugh, aychristenegames try not to laugh, coryxkenshin, ihascupquake, guava juice, She Is Beautiful | Why I Don't Have a Face Reveal | Jaiden Animations Reaction | AyChristene Reacts, Why, Don't, Have, Face Reveal, Why I Don't Have a Face Reveal, jaiden animations, try not to cry, try not to cry challenge, animations, animated story time, swoozie, face reveal, depression, anorexia, bulimia, react, reaction, reacts, eating disorder

Id: NJezh2wn7jw

Length: 20min 19sec (1219 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 14 2017