Warning: Viewer discretion is advised. This
live stream is meant for mature audience. This live stream is not suited for every single
person, especially young children. So if you have young children watching this broadcast, we
would encourage you that you do not watch it out loud because we will be discussing the topic
of physical Intimacy in marriage. We believe that sex is a gift to be enjoyed in the context
of marriage. The devil does not want, the devil does his best to push singles into sex before
they get married, and then to keep the married folks out of sex when they get married. Yes. There
is a purpose for sex in marriage, and the purpose is not just to have children, and so we're gonna
actually take a look at that right now by sharing with you the purpose of sex. We're going to give
you five biblical reasons for sex in marriage. The first one is of course procreation, meaning
to make babies, and the Scripture for that is. In Genesis 1:28, it says, "Then God blessed them,
and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have
dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every
living thing that moves on the earth.'" The word "fruitful," somebody dropped that
in the chat, means, make babies. Fruitful means multiplication. Multiplication. Yeah,
that we that through sex, we have babies. Now the second purpose of sex is pleasure. The
Scripture for that is? And Proverbs 5:18-19 it says, "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice
with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all
times; and always be enraptured with her love." So in Proverbs as well as Song of Solomon, Song
of Solomon teaches us that God designs sex, not only for making babies but also to have pleasure.
Sex is meant to bring pleasure. Come on somebody. Drop number one in the chat if you're like God is
good, He decides good, does good things, and we are very glad that He has designed good things
for us and one of them is pleasure. The third purpose of sex in marriage, biblical purpose is
protection. Drop this in the chat. Protection is the purpose of sex in marriage and 1 Corinthians
7:2 it says, "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and
each woman have her own husband." So protection in marriage, meaning when you have a healthy
sexual relationship, you are protected. It almost puts like this shield around sexual immorality.
This does not mean that if somebody is sexually immoral, that they had a bad sex, or it's supposed
to be blamed on the spouse. Absolutely not. But it does mean that if we as Christians prioritize
healthy sexual relationship within our marriages, it does help us, helps men and helps women to stay
out of going to other pastors and going to other people, because it keeps you protected in sexual
purity. And not only I believe in sexual purity but also emotionally, because if you step out
those boundaries, it's emotionally devastating, for men or women as well. And number four,
intimacy. In Genesis 4:1 it says, "Now Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bore Cain,
and said, 'I have acquired a man from the Lord.'" So we see that the Bible says that Adam knew
his wife. The word "knew," all of the scholars would tell us that the word "knew" actually
speaks of sexual intimacy. It's interesting that it doesn't say and Adam made love to
his wife. It says Adam knew his wife, meaning sex is one of the ways we, that's why we use
the word intimacy. It was T.D Jakes who said, he says intimacy means into-me-see. That's
interesting. Meaning you are knowing somebody. It's a way of knowing somebody on a deeper, deeper
level. In a way that is beyond just physical. It's a bonding that takes place between two people.
That's why, you got to be very careful who you have sex with. And when you are a Christian, you
should continue to have sexual intimacy with your spouse because it's part of that knowing. It's
part of that intimacy. Adam knew his wife, and so not just made love to his wife but he knew his
wife, meaning he had this deeper connection to her through sexual intimacy. And the fifth biblical
purpose for sex is comfort. In 2 Samuel 12:24, "Then David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and when
in to her and lay with her. So she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. Now the LORD loved
him." So we know that when adultery happened with Bathsheba and with David, you know the son died.
And then after that, David comforted Bathsheba his wife, went into her and laid with her, and that
was actually one of the ways that the comfort was taking place is through this physical intimacy. I
find it interesting that beforehand his sex with her was a place of compromise. But once that they
get married and God has forgiven him, we see that sex became a place of comfort. And so sex is not
just a place of compromise outside of marriage, and some of you maybe are watching and you feel
like, man the only sex you've known is the one of compromise. But you must understand, that
the Bible doesn't just limit sex to the place of compromise. It doesn't just warn us about
fornication, and adultery, and homosexuality, lesbianism. The Bible also talks about the
benefits and the purposes that God set sex to be in marriage. So let's review, the five
purposes of sex in marriage. The first one is protection. Number two. The first one is
procreation. So the first purpose of sex is procreation. The second purpose of sex
is pleasure. The third purpose of sex, protection. The fourth purpose of sex, intimacy,
and the fifth purpose of sex is comfort. Come on somebody. So let's give the Lord some praise right
now for the gift of physical intimacy in marriage. We unwrap all the gifts that God gives us. Not
only the spiritual but also physical ones. Now something that we wanted to get to is some
practical things concerning, or practical principles of sex. The first thing that we wanted
to talk about right now, is first and foremost is sex is the super glue of marriage. Drop this in
the chat. Sex is the super glue of marriage. And I will read 1 Corinthians 6:16. Or do you not know
that he who is joined to harlot is one body with her? For "the two," He says, "shall become one
flesh." And so what this simply means is this, is that God intended for sex to be what bonds,
unites two people together. In other words, if God had a super glue to put two people together, that
super glue is not a paper, marriage certificate. That's super glue is sex. That's one of the
reasons you want to be careful who you glue with. You don't practice super glue, you don't
experiment with super glue because super glue is very powerful, and so that's what sex
is. Sex is very powerful because it's meant to bond to people permanently together. There are
repercussions from people being glued together, who are not supposed to be glued together. Parts
of them could literally be almost like end up in the other person, and we call this soul ties.
Not because of this New Age idea of soul ties the New Agers use, but where the Bible says that
the soul of David was knit together to Jonathan, even though it was not through sex. And then
the soul of Dinah or Diana, Dina the daughter of Jacob, was knit to the guy that she slept
with that she got really raped by and stuff. So there's a bonding and there's a gluing that
takes place, so you have to remember that. And that's why it's good for a Christian marriages
to prioritize physical intimacy in your marriage because this keeps the glue together in marriage.
Yep, that's good. The second thing that we need to remember about marriage and that is, sex is
about serving, not selfishness. Come on somebody. This one is big, and let me read Corinthians
7:3-4. "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, and likewise also the wife
to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And
likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." What
does this Scripture mean to you? That means. Marriage, sex in marriage and relationship, sexual
relationship in marriage cannot be selfish. If you're focusing on your desires, on what you
want, what you like, and you're missing the point because the Scripture is teaching us here
that your body does not belong to you but to your spouse, okay. And we have to give that authority
of our body to our spouse, not to abuse, we are talking about physical intimacy. Likewise, so
there is no such thing as a male dominating sexual life over his wife or vice versa, but usually it's
the male part but it's both ways. Sometimes there are seasons where the men you know are more, has a
greater sex drive than a woman. And then there are times what is the opposite, where it's the woman.
And I think it's usually they say that later in years women's sex drive becomes stronger than
men's. And some people have this idea where it's like well, especially some men could have
that, well if I don't want to have sex then I don't need to have sex with my wife. But it's not
biblical view. This does not mean that you force yourself to do something that you do not like, but
sexual intimacy in marriage is about service. Yes, it's about serving. This is not about abuse,
this is not about forcing and we're going to talk about that in a moment. But it does
deal with husbands render to your wife the affection due to her, and as you can see
there's a little head over here. Jocko. Jocko, up, up. He doesn't want to. Sorry, he just simply wanted to make an
appearance. He just wanted to say hi to everybody over here. Yeah. Yeah. The Bible says the husband
rendered to his wife affection due to her, and then likewise wife to her husband. And then
pretty much says that hey, listen you guys, your bodies do not belong to. If you're listening to us
right now and you're a husband or you are a wife, you must understand that sex is not just about
you. Yes. It's about meeting the need of your spouse. That's why you got married. You didn't
get married so you can meet your own needs. You got married so you can meet the need of
the person that you love. It's a completely different understanding. Yeah. It's kind of
like you know if my wife's desire, or need, you know I do understand what makes her feel loved
is you know walking, and quality time and all of that stuff. Then I as a husband go out of my way
to meet that need. Yeah. And as a wife, if she understands, hey, honor is one of those needs.
Sometimes as spouses we don't necessarily feel that. You know like, we don't wake up and we're
like, yeah, yeah, I can't wait to just honor you. Sometimes it's a decision that you make. You're
not forced but it's a decision that you make, and same thing even with love. There are moments where
like I would probably want to do maybe something else, but because I love you, I want to serve you,
and this has to be also reflected in our physical intimacy. This whole idea where the person does
not want to have a physical intimacy with their spouse and this is going on for months already.
I'm tired, I'm not up for it and there's no like physical reasons. There's a level of sacrifice
that has to be involved. There's a level of selfishness that is involved when people withhold
sex. It is I think it's dangerous when a spouse who is not sick, who is not on her period,
or not on you know there's other components, is withholding sex intentionally or out of
selfishness. But also vice versa. You don't demand sex from your spouse. That's good. You do not
because it becomes about you. When we shift the understanding and our thinking about this,
that it's not about me, we're here to serve. I'm here to serve my spouse. You don't demand, "Oh,
I demand. Why don't you meet my needs? The Bible says this and this." That's so good. We don't do
that. Yeah, that's so good because this Scripture is not, guys we need to clarify something right
now. This Scripture was not given for a husband to demand sex from his wife. You cannot, if your a
husband, listen to this very carefully. You cannot use this Scripture to come to your wife and to
say, "Your body belongs to me. I am horny and you know," or "I need this. I need to satisfy this
need. That's it." That is abuse. Yes. That is a marital rape, that's what that is. If you take it
by force. Yeah, you don't take by force. What this verse is for you as a husband to render service
to your wife, and this is for the wife to render service to the husband. This is not an entitlement
or a right to take that. Yes. This is empowerment to give that. Wow that's good. Yeah. So can we,
do agree on this guys? Yeah. Are you with me in the chat? Could you drop number one if you are
understanding what I'm saying. This verse is not something that gives us a right to take. Yes. This
is God telling us what we ought to give to our spouse. The idea that you can come and force sex
because the Bible says your spouse's body belongs to you, is not biblical. There is no service in
that. You're not serving when you're demanding, and when you're taking. You are selfish and you
are an abuser. Yeah, well that's strong words but it's true. Yeah. That is true. Marital rape is
rape. And I believe the Word of God, the Bible is always given to us first, not for someone else.
It's for us first, for us to examine ourselves first, including sexual relationships. Now, the
third thing that we want to share with you today concerning sex and what the Bible teaches, and
that is to understand the difference between male and female. Now, we do understand those of you
that are watching this live, there is a little lagging that is taking place. We don't know what's
happening here but we want to apologize for that. Those of you that are re-watching, you most likely
are not experiencing that. We welcome you if you are re-watching. Now, to understand the difference
let's read the Proverbs 5:15-18. "Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own
well. Should your fountains be dispersed around, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only
your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the
wife of your youth." And those who have ears, let them hear. Come on somebody. You added that
though. Yes, I did. That is not in the Bible but yes, you added that. So I want you to notice,
like biblically, it almost compares a man to a fountain and a woman to a well. So drop this in
the chat. Solomon compares a man to a fountain and a woman to a well. Let me just put it in a
plain language. Generally speaking, this is not speaking in every case, but generally speaking man
is like a well, always ready. Oh excuse me, a man is like a fountain. I apologize, and the woman is
like a well, needs to be drawn out. Yes. Meaning you know like Kevin Lehman said in his book
Music Sheets, sex doesn't begin in a bedroom, it begins in the kitchen, in the living
room, in other places. That doesn't mean that that's where the actual sex starts. Meaning
the sex is not just an act, it's a relationship. Speak that from the female's perspective toward
men who, or husbands who feel like you know, oh you know they just want to kind of treat
their wife however. Ignore her, and then yeah, like hey, I want to have sex. Yeah no, that's
dangerous because women usually they connect on an emotional level to be ready to have sex, if
I can roughly put it that way. For men it's opposite. And if you think that you can not talk
to your wife, you can not communicate with her, day after day, and just come home from your work
and think that she's just gonna jump on you and be ready to have sex. That is the furthest thing
from the truth, and some men they don't know that and they get offended. They think what am
I, not this and not that. I don't provide for you or why are you this and that? But it's just
a matter of understanding your wife, that she actually functions completely differently. It
starts in a kitchen, like we said, and no not with touching and kissing, with you helping with
dishes. You know one of those things. Yep, and women, everything is connected in our brain
okay. We cannot just not think about things that stress us out, or the things that this happened
there, this happened there. And guess what? All of that, what happened in one day, a woman brings
it into her bed. If a man doesn't understand that, unfortunately there will be problems, and
arguments, and misunderstandings, and your sexual life will suffer. Right? Yeah, for a man it's so
much easier though. A man can go through hell, and he can have sex right there and then.
Right in the middle of all that hell, and actually it can help him to go through that
hell better. Yeah, it's true. Because men, we tend generally, we as men we tend to put our lives
in compartments, and so we have this compartment, we have that compartment and it absolutely is not
always connected. It's just one thing is here, the other thing is there. We walk from one
situation, walk into another situation and so. And it is harder to kind of, because
you think like hey, like for a husband, you think, hey, I'm going through a difficult
time right now. I need to be comforted. I need to be comforted. The sixth purpose of sex
in the Bible is comfort. I need comfort in my life right now, and then the wife's way of feeling
comforted is to be connected. She's like a well, you need to draw the water out. You can't just
come in, it's like push the button and you know like the water comes out. For a husband,
I mean all you need to do is just push one button. There's just one place you can touch him
and that's it, water comes out. But I also think if you in a marriage relationship and you have
to consider each other. You have to consider each other's day, each other's burdens and what
the person, your spouse is going through in the season. Because one spouse can experience heavier
things, and you might be the one, as a wife, to kind of sacrifice your emotional readiness to
help your husband in that way, or vice versa. But the majority of times, we know that the Bible
teaches that the man, husband, has to live with his wife with understanding. Because it's a
lot harder for a woman to turn off her feelings, to you know, to just be ready. And if man
understand the simple things like that, he's just not gonna take it personally but he will
not be lazy to do certain things to help his wife to connect emotionally before sexual intimacy, and
to understand few things and then you won't fight that much. Yeah, I think the sex is a reflection
of marriage. Yes. It's not always a marriage. Meaning it's not a relationship, it's an overflow
of your relationship. If your relationship is not good, if your relationship is not bad, then yes
there will be problems in sex. For some people it's the opposite. They actually have a really
bad relationship and sex is like trying to fix. You know when sex is used to trying to fix bad
habits, it doesn't work. You have to change your communication, you have to change how you treat
each other, and then sex supposed to be the cherry on the top of the cake. That's super glue the
glues together. But if you're terrible as spouses, then you know sex doesn't fix it. But if people
are loving to each other, and one of them chooses to deprive each other from sex. It's disobedience
to God's Word. Number two is that it could really damage the relationship. People are like, "Oh,
it doesn't matter." It does matter. It's kind of like saying, "Hey, I love my wife. I'm just
not going to talk to her but I will love her. I will love her, I will serve her. I just will not
talk to my wife." Now it's different if I mute. But if I choose not to talk to my wife on purpose,
it will damage my relationship. Yes. Same thing with your relationship. If you do not
continuously, intentionally prioritize meeting each other's needs in sexual relationship,
but your relationship is good. And for those of you who may be like, "Well, you know we already,
we don't want to have any more kids so we're not going to have any more sex. Sex is dirty." Sex
is not dirty, sex is not a god and sex is not gross. Sex is a gift from God. Stop, those of
you especially who came from the world where you practice sexual immorality, where you maybe
slept with anything that moved. And then now you came to Christian faith and you're like, man
this is perverted. I have bad experiences with it and everything. Please understand, God wants
to heal you. He wants to heal your mind. He wants to restore you and He wants you to be the person
that finally enjoys the gift. Sex was not created by the devil. It wasn't made by Hollywood. It
wasn't made by porn industry. It was perverted. It was abused by the world, but it has to be used by
Christians in a way that's a gift from God. It's not our god. Sex is not gross but sex is a gift.
Somebody dropped this in the chat. Sex is not god. Sex is not gross. Sex is a gift to be enjoyed in
the context of marriage. Now, the fourth thing that we want to share practically to change our
paradigm in the area of sexual intimacy, and that is this. That you have to pursue purity even when
you are married. I believe that purity in marriage actually is a path to deeper satisfaction in sex.
Why is that? Because if both people are not pure in their minds and their thoughts, and they watch
pornography, or let's say that they you know slide into other people's DMs, they have a little fling
on the side, keep their dating profiles active, constantly emotionally engaged with opposite sex.
Or revisit images in their mind from their exes. What that does, flirting with their co-workers,
emotionally attached to people that they are on the stage with or people that they are in the
office with, addicted to porn. What it does, is while some of these acts might not be physical
immorality, it's emotional and mental impurity. Yes. And not only it changes your relationship
with God, intimacy with God, it destroys, it keeps the bed marriage, bed defiled. Polluted,
yeah. Yep, that's good. Absolutely. Anything you want to add to that? No, it's true. It's very
important. Emotional purity is very important because if we lack emotional purity, our sex life
will be affected. Especially if for example if it's a male spouse that is looking at pornography,
and a wife will always feel less than because it's just not how the real life works. And even if he
is not going to say that out loud, it's going to be in the air. That emotional impurity will be in
the air and the wife will feel it, or vice versa. You know, virginity is abstaining from sex before
marriage, but purity is for life. Purity is living in sexual purity where you're keeping your mind,
your eyes; where husbands, where your wife is the standard of beauty for you. Where you don't desire
and you don't allow the enemy to lie to you. You don't have wandering eyes, and you keep seeking,
trying to find you know pleasure somewhere else. But you keep the fire in your fireplace.
Pursue purity. Number five and this is gonna, this is gonna hit somebody. Yeah, yeah. Number
five is dealing with the abuse. Now I think this one is big because I think it's the biggest one
because of the nature of it. And how it damages the sexual relationship in marriages if one of
the spouses, they were abused earlier, prior you know to marriage. If that person did not deal with
it, didn't receive healing from the Holy Spirit, also with some professional help. Then
it will affect the sexual relationship because that person that was abused, they will
most likely will not be able to fully open up you know during the intimacy. And there could
be triggers, all kinds of triggers that will limit the enjoyment because I believe that the
enjoyment of sexual intimacy. It's not just, I'm sorry to say in your private parts. It's in your
brain first, and if you don't deal with your pains of the past that affected the way you feel, the
way you think, it will affect your physical life. Especially people who are abused sexually. Yes,
that's what I'm saying. Taken advantage sexually. People who went through a time maybe where they
lived in sin, and now they regret that life, they came to Christ. The association with being
touched, the association with sex is dirty. Yeah. And so that's why some even people in the chat
right now, they're saying that the sex is lust. And sex is not lust. Lust is when you have sex
outside of marriage. Lust is when you're eating the forbidden. Lust is not sex. So how I look at
sex and lust is this way, is dirt and soil. Yeah. Soil in the garden bed is nurturing. You put
that soil outside of the garden, into your dinner plate; it becomes defiling. So same thing.
Lust is when you take sex outside of marriage. When you watch other people have sex, you know
pornography. When you fantasize about having sex with somebody who is not your spouse. That is
no longer soil. That's dirt now. You may say, how can the same thing become nurturing, but in
another context is damaging? Well the same way you take the fire out of the fireplace,
burns the house to the ground. You keep the fire in the fireplace; it keeps everyone
warm in the house. So as we deal with abuse, we must understand that sex is not the problem.
It's that maybe abuse of sex was the problem and so if we have abuse, we have wounds, and scars,
and fears and triggers. It will hinder our ability to receive and to give love, and so we
would encourage you to be open about it. If you were abused and you constantly are triggered by
your spouse wanting to have sexual intimacy, then just be open about it. Be open about where this
is coming from, you know seek professional help, get counseling. If you can't process that on your
own, get some counseling so that you do not live your life punishing your spouse for what your
ex did. Absolutely. For what somebody who abused you did, you know, and those of you who are in
the marriage where your spouse has been abused, please be patient. And kind. Please be kind.
This is not your moment to say, "Well, you know this is not right. I don't deserve this kind of a
thing." Don't play that card. You know, be kind, be compassionate, be understanding. Help your
spouse go through this, help them to heal. People hurt them. It's going to be people that will
help them to heal, and you can be those people. Yeah, that's good. Now the sixth thing about
practical things when we're talking about sex, and that is deliverance from demons. Now you knew
this is coming. There was no way we're not going to touch demons in this, even in this live stream.
We're gonna get those suckers. Yeah, because what the Bible says about sex, we see that the
enemy really wants to destroy that intimacy. He will attack the area of intimacy in marriage. One
of the ways that that happens is through Incubus and Succubus. Yeah. We call them spirit spouses.
It's demonic spirits that people have sex with in the dream, demonic dreams, curses of divorce in
the family and a spiritual loneliness, spirits of rejection and other demons that are. We're not
blaming the demons, we just don't want to ignore, we want to battle those demons. Absolutely. Or
the marine spirits. They are usually coming into, we see them many times being married to a person
in a spirit realm and having kids with them. We've seen deliverances of people not having
affection. Yes, yeah. Losing affection for your spouse, especially in the area of sexuality.
Yeah, that is like a very big red flag that there might be a demonic situation there.
Especially and usually it's confirmed by a spouse that has demonic nightmares, reoccurring
sexual demonic nightmares and because of that, they struggle to have affection for their
spouse. Now for those of you who are hearing to this right now and you maybe are thinking,
man, Vlad you're stretching this way outside. You know not everything has a demon behind it. We
wouldn't, we don't say that. What we are saying is that there are cases of people who have unclean
spirits behind their sexual dysfunctions. These are perversion spirits who are trying to steal
their sexual intimacy, and these unclean spirits, they also want to sometimes fill them with
perversion and other things so that they do not enjoy sexual intimacy and purity. And loose
feelings for their spouse. And so as a Christian, what we wanted to encourage you is that if you are
dealing with the spiritual problem in marriage, that you really deal with spiritually with that
problem. Instead of trying to penalize or punish the person, that you go and you war against
the unclean spirits and generational curses, amen. Amen. Now, this is the part that
I know a lot of you were asking about, and a lot of you want to know about this is
that what about so and so. I mean what about this? What's okay in a marriage bed? What is
not okay in a marriage bed? So, we're going to highlight four things that are not okay in a
marriage bed, okay. And first Scripture that we would like to read is Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage
is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
Now, the Greek word translated "undefiled" is usually used in this exact form four times in the
New Testament. And it means uncontaminated or set apart, meaning God wants sexual intimacy to be
uncontaminated, undefiled. There are many sins, but we're gonna share four things that are not
okay in the Bible. And sexual immorality is having sex with someone other than your spouse, and here
are those four things. Number one is adultery. So it's when you are having sex with somebody
else while you are married. Yes, including spouse swapping. Yeah. It's adultery and it's very
common in our culture. It's becoming common in our culture where people switch spouses or swap
spouses temporarily to have better experiences. It's not biblical and it's an adultery. The
second thing that's not okay in a marriage bed is threesomes. Threesomes is when you bring one
more person into bed, and so I actually have seen Christians justify that and say, "Well, Jacob had
Rachel and Leah. So he was married to two women, and therefore it's okay to bring one more
person into bed to practice threesomes." Well, you have to understand is that Jacob did practice
polygamy. It's not God's original intent, but Jacob did not have sex with Rachel and with
Leah at the same time. Threesomes is sexual immorality. It is wrong, even if your spouse
agrees with it. If you spouse agrees with it, they are crazy and if you think of that idea, you
are also crazy. And if a third person is on board with that, you have three of you are crazy. Yeah.
The marriage is supposed to be between two people, not a whole neighborhood. Now the third thing
that's not okay in marriage is watching porn, pornography. Watching porn with your spouse is a
virtual threesome and virtual adultery. Now I have mentored or prayed for some couples who one spouse
came and said, we want to introduce into our marriage pornography. So usually it's a husband
who forces a wife to watch pornography, and then to reenact that in their marriage bed. It's wrong,
It's a sin, and it's an open door to demons. And so watching porn to spice up your marriage bed,
you're inviting demons into your marriage bed. You're inviting fantasies. It's not real, and I
have an interview with an ex-porn star, you can watch it, and this is not how real sex is. These
are called performers. These are not spouses, okay. And so it takes you know days to make a 40
minute video, and there's a lot of editing that's involved there. It's not how marriage is. It's
made for entertainment, godless entertainment but it's not made to be an example. And so and
if you take that as an example for your marriage, just pretty much a sure way to destroy your
marriage. It's literally trying to fix a porn problem by reenacting pornography in marriage, but
it's wrong. The fourth wrong thing in a marriage bed is rape. All non-consensual sex is rape,
whether in marriage or not. And I mentioned 1 Corinthians chapter 7:1-5 deals with giving
satisfaction in sex, not demanding it or forcing a spouse to have sex with you. The Bible does not
give that permission to demand sex. Yeah. Now, when it comes to these four things that we
just highlighted and for those of you that are just re-watching, we want to remind you,
this is a mature audience content. This is not for little children. And those of you that are
watching on YouTube, we apologize. We do notice it's glitching. Please stay with us. If you are
re-watching, you'll be able to watch it without any problem. For some reason it's glitching on our
end. Now, when it comes to things like different positions in sex, people say sex toys, oral sex,
all of these things. What is biblical? What is lawful? What is okay? This is what we wanted
to address. We want to pretty much give you three questions to ask before. If it's not
adultery, if it's not adultery, if it's not bringing another person or bringing a pornography.
Or it's not a rape or you're forcing somebody, what about some other sexual expressions in bed?
Now you may say, "Well, that's just between two people." A hundred percent. But a lot of times
people actually have questions and typically as pastors we won't preach that on Sunday morning,
so we are live streaming about that. And so we want to ask you to ask three questions, if you're
thinking, well should we, can we? Three questions to ask. Question number one. Is it prohibited in
the Scripture? If it's not, assume it's permitted. So, if it's not prohibited in the Scripture,
and it's between you and your spouse, you can assume in a married bed it is permitted.
So if it's not adultery, if you're not bringing some sexual fantasies into a marriage bed, if
you're not forcing your spouse and if you're not bringing somebody else, you can assume it's
pretty much permitted. 1 Corinthians 6:12, it says, "All things are lawful for me, but all
things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power
of any." So Paul is pretty much saying that okay, things are lawful for me, is it lawful?
So that's what the first question we ask, is the Bible against it? Is the Bible very clearly
against it? If the Bible is not, in the area of marital sexual intimacy we have freedom. Now the
second question we want to ask and that is this, is this beneficial? Does it harm or hinder sexual
closeness between two spouses? So does this act, does this particular behavior, will
it bring us closer or will it actually pull us further away? That's a good one. That's
what Paul says, 1 Corinthians 6:12. He says all things are lawful, but he says, not all things are
helpful. Yes. So okay, what does the Bible say? Is the Bible clearly against it? If not,
we are within our Christian freedom. But then we have to ask another question. Not
just are we free to do it but should we do it, based on this, based on this. Is this gonna help
our intimacy or harm our intimacy? And usually one spouse suggests maybe something, and the other one
will say, you know what, I don't feel comfortable. I feel this way and stuff. So and then what that
begins to happen is that then this helps you to know if this is helping or hindering. And if one
spouse may say, "Oh, it's gonna help me in our intimacy." And another spouse will say, "Oh, it's
not gonna help me for sure." That means it's not going to be helpful for the marriage itself, and
this is where we are shooting at. For both people to come closer and not just for one person
to feel like, oh yeah, it's gonna help me. A hundred percent. And then third one and that's
the biggest one, and is there a mutual consent? So what does the Bible say? Is it lawful, is
it beneficial and thirdly, is there a mutual consent? Is the spouse being forced, coerced
into what he or she is not comfortable with? Or manipulated to? Or manipulated into?
Corinthians 7:5. "Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that
you may give yourself to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does
not tempt you because you lack self-control." Yeah, so we see pretty much here that the Bible
says that there needs to be consent. Yeah. Even to withdraw sexually, there must be consent, and
so that means that God wants us to have a mutual consent. God wants us to have, is it scriptural,
is it beneficial and is there mutual consent? Yep, that's true. Any thoughts you have on that
for people who are struggling with that? No, just the fact that they have to talk
about it and come to the mutual agreement. Yes, so that's pretty much summarizes our short
conversation about sexual intimacy in marriage. God wants our marriage sex to be pure, God
wants our marriage sex to be passionate and God wants our marriage sex to be also bringing
pleasure, procreation, comfort and glory to God, protection and bring glory to God, yeah. And
so God is glorified when both of you are close, when both of you are in love and when both of you
are seeking God. Now, when it comes to particular things, you know what is allowed, what is not
allowed. We just gave you the boundaries of the Scripture. Adultery is not allowed, bringing
pornography is not allowed, forcing your spouse to have sex with you, is not allowed. The Bible gives
us that verse to serve, not to force. The Bible doesn't allow us to bring another person into our
marriage bed, even if all three of you crazies agree. It's still not biblical. And the Bible is
very clear that the marriage bed, when it comes to the marriage bed, it's important to understand
that there is freedom. There is more freedom there to experience, to experiment, to enjoy each
other, and to understand that ultimately it is your intimacy. It is your private little garden
there where you have to bring joy to each other, and not to make sex into a god, nor should you
treat it as gross, but you should treat it as a gift that you wear and that you unwrap for the
glory of God. And I just want to give one advice, mainly to women. Do not discuss your sexual life
with other women. I think that could be very dangerous and damaging because I've been receiving
quite a few messages about that, and this is what I would suggest. Keep it in between you and your
husband. Unless you have an unresolveable issue, then you take it to a leader or to a counselor.
That's what I would say. And the bottom line is we are in marriage to serve each other, to serve
our spouse. And to focus on that rather than our needs, and thinking that it's all about us and
demanding things from our spouse. Yeah, yeah. It's very important that we don't demand, but that we
serve the needs of our spouse and stuff. So yeah, and we will stay here for just a little bit and
maybe answer some questions that we can. For those of you on Instagram and TikTok, would you jump on
over to YouTube where we can kind of spend some time with you. But before we do that, we would
like to invite you, if this was a blessing to you would you consider sowing and becoming a partner
with our ministry? Our ministry provides material that reaches a lot of people around the world.
Books, e-courses. Our ministry also provides so much content. We're going to nations of the
world preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and so we want to ask you, would you consider anything
great or small? Would you consider becoming a monthly partner with our ministry, me and Lana,
and then would you consider also maybe giving one time? We are currently raising funds for our
Philippines Crusade, and as of right now we are I think about 20 or 20 something percent. We are
33 percent already, so we're 33 percent already into this. So we would really ask you to just
ask you to contribute to that. Help us to reach more people for Jesus, and you can give through
Cash App, you can give through venmo, you can give through PayPal and you can give through
our website. It will be very much appreciated.
