Sexual Intimacy in Marriage According to Scripture

Video Statistics and Information

Video
Captions Word Cloud
Reddit Comments
Captions
Warning: Viewer discretion is advised. This  live stream is meant for mature audience.   This live stream is not suited for every single  person, especially young children. So if you   have young children watching this broadcast, we  would encourage you that you do not watch it out   loud because we will be discussing the topic  of physical Intimacy in marriage. We believe   that sex is a gift to be enjoyed in the context  of marriage. The devil does not want, the devil   does his best to push singles into sex before  they get married, and then to keep the married   folks out of sex when they get married. Yes. There  is a purpose for sex in marriage, and the purpose   is not just to have children, and so we're gonna  actually take a look at that right now by sharing   with you the purpose of sex. We're going to give  you five biblical reasons for sex in marriage.   The first one is of course procreation, meaning  to make babies, and the Scripture for that is.   In Genesis 1:28, it says, "Then God blessed them,  and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply;   fill the earth and subdue it; have  dominion over the fish of the sea,   over the birds of the air, and over every  living thing that moves on the earth.'"   The word "fruitful," somebody dropped that  in the chat, means, make babies. Fruitful   means multiplication. Multiplication. Yeah,  that we that through sex, we have babies. Now   the second purpose of sex is pleasure. The  Scripture for that is? And Proverbs 5:18-19 it   says, "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice  with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and   a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all  times; and always be enraptured with her love." So in Proverbs as well as Song of Solomon, Song  of Solomon teaches us that God designs sex, not   only for making babies but also to have pleasure.  Sex is meant to bring pleasure. Come on somebody.   Drop number one in the chat if you're like God is  good, He decides good, does good things, and we   are very glad that He has designed good things  for us and one of them is pleasure. The third   purpose of sex in marriage, biblical purpose is  protection. Drop this in the chat. Protection is   the purpose of sex in marriage and 1 Corinthians  7:2 it says, "Nevertheless, because of sexual   immorality, let each man have his own wife, and  each woman have her own husband." So protection   in marriage, meaning when you have a healthy  sexual relationship, you are protected. It almost   puts like this shield around sexual immorality.  This does not mean that if somebody is sexually   immoral, that they had a bad sex, or it's supposed  to be blamed on the spouse. Absolutely not. But   it does mean that if we as Christians prioritize  healthy sexual relationship within our marriages,   it does help us, helps men and helps women to stay  out of going to other pastors and going to other   people, because it keeps you protected in sexual  purity. And not only I believe in sexual purity   but also emotionally, because if you step out  those boundaries, it's emotionally devastating,   for men or women as well. And number four,  intimacy. In Genesis 4:1 it says, "Now Adam knew   Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bore Cain,  and said, 'I have acquired a man from the Lord.'"   So we see that the Bible says that Adam knew  his wife. The word "knew," all of the scholars   would tell us that the word "knew" actually  speaks of sexual intimacy. It's interesting   that it doesn't say and Adam made love to  his wife. It says Adam knew his wife, meaning   sex is one of the ways we, that's why we use  the word intimacy. It was T.D Jakes who said,   he says intimacy means into-me-see. That's  interesting. Meaning you are knowing somebody.   It's a way of knowing somebody on a deeper, deeper  level. In a way that is beyond just physical. It's   a bonding that takes place between two people.  That's why, you got to be very careful who you   have sex with. And when you are a Christian, you  should continue to have sexual intimacy with your   spouse because it's part of that knowing. It's  part of that intimacy. Adam knew his wife, and   so not just made love to his wife but he knew his  wife, meaning he had this deeper connection to her   through sexual intimacy. And the fifth biblical  purpose for sex is comfort. In 2 Samuel 12:24,   "Then David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and when  in to her and lay with her. So she bore a son,   and he called his name Solomon. Now the LORD loved  him." So we know that when adultery happened with   Bathsheba and with David, you know the son died.  And then after that, David comforted Bathsheba his   wife, went into her and laid with her, and that  was actually one of the ways that the comfort was   taking place is through this physical intimacy. I  find it interesting that beforehand his sex with   her was a place of compromise. But once that they  get married and God has forgiven him, we see that   sex became a place of comfort. And so sex is not  just a place of compromise outside of marriage,   and some of you maybe are watching and you feel  like, man the only sex you've known is the one   of compromise. But you must understand, that  the Bible doesn't just limit sex to the place   of compromise. It doesn't just warn us about  fornication, and adultery, and homosexuality,   lesbianism. The Bible also talks about the  benefits and the purposes that God set sex   to be in marriage. So let's review, the five  purposes of sex in marriage. The first one   is protection. Number two. The first one is  procreation. So the first purpose of sex is   procreation. The second purpose of sex  is pleasure. The third purpose of sex,   protection. The fourth purpose of sex, intimacy,  and the fifth purpose of sex is comfort. Come on   somebody. So let's give the Lord some praise right  now for the gift of physical intimacy in marriage.   We unwrap all the gifts that God gives us. Not  only the spiritual but also physical ones. Now   something that we wanted to get to is some  practical things concerning, or practical   principles of sex. The first thing that we wanted  to talk about right now, is first and foremost is   sex is the super glue of marriage. Drop this in  the chat. Sex is the super glue of marriage. And   I will read 1 Corinthians 6:16. Or do you not know  that he who is joined to harlot is one body with   her? For "the two," He says, "shall become one  flesh." And so what this simply means is this,   is that God intended for sex to be what bonds,  unites two people together. In other words, if God   had a super glue to put two people together, that  super glue is not a paper, marriage certificate.   That's super glue is sex. That's one of the  reasons you want to be careful who you glue with.   You don't practice super glue, you don't  experiment with super glue because super   glue is very powerful, and so that's what sex  is. Sex is very powerful because it's meant to   bond to people permanently together. There are  repercussions from people being glued together,   who are not supposed to be glued together. Parts  of them could literally be almost like end up in   the other person, and we call this soul ties.  Not because of this New Age idea of soul ties   the New Agers use, but where the Bible says that  the soul of David was knit together to Jonathan,   even though it was not through sex. And then  the soul of Dinah or Diana, Dina the daughter   of Jacob, was knit to the guy that she slept  with that she got really raped by and stuff.   So there's a bonding and there's a gluing that  takes place, so you have to remember that. And   that's why it's good for a Christian marriages  to prioritize physical intimacy in your marriage   because this keeps the glue together in marriage.  Yep, that's good. The second thing that we need   to remember about marriage and that is, sex is  about serving, not selfishness. Come on somebody.   This one is big, and let me read Corinthians  7:3-4. "Let the husband render to his wife the   affection due to her, and likewise also the wife  to her husband. The wife does not have authority   over her own body, but the husband does. And  likewise the husband does not have authority   over his own body, but the wife does." What  does this Scripture mean to you? That means. Marriage, sex in marriage and relationship, sexual  relationship in marriage cannot be selfish. If   you're focusing on your desires, on what you  want, what you like, and you're missing the   point because the Scripture is teaching us here  that your body does not belong to you but to your   spouse, okay. And we have to give that authority  of our body to our spouse, not to abuse, we are   talking about physical intimacy. Likewise, so  there is no such thing as a male dominating sexual   life over his wife or vice versa, but usually it's  the male part but it's both ways. Sometimes there   are seasons where the men you know are more, has a  greater sex drive than a woman. And then there are   times what is the opposite, where it's the woman.  And I think it's usually they say that later in   years women's sex drive becomes stronger than  men's. And some people have this idea where it's   like well, especially some men could have  that, well if I don't want to have sex then I   don't need to have sex with my wife. But it's not  biblical view. This does not mean that you force   yourself to do something that you do not like, but  sexual intimacy in marriage is about service. Yes,   it's about serving. This is not about abuse,  this is not about forcing and we're going to   talk about that in a moment. But it does  deal with husbands render to your wife the   affection due to her, and as you can see  there's a little head over here. Jocko. Jocko, up, up. He doesn't want to. Sorry, he just simply wanted to make an  appearance. He just wanted to say hi to everybody   over here. Yeah. Yeah. The Bible says the husband  rendered to his wife affection due to her,   and then likewise wife to her husband. And then  pretty much says that hey, listen you guys, your   bodies do not belong to. If you're listening to us  right now and you're a husband or you are a wife,   you must understand that sex is not just about  you. Yes. It's about meeting the need of your   spouse. That's why you got married. You didn't  get married so you can meet your own needs.   You got married so you can meet the need of  the person that you love. It's a completely   different understanding. Yeah. It's kind of  like you know if my wife's desire, or need,   you know I do understand what makes her feel loved  is you know walking, and quality time and all of   that stuff. Then I as a husband go out of my way  to meet that need. Yeah. And as a wife, if she   understands, hey, honor is one of those needs.  Sometimes as spouses we don't necessarily feel   that. You know like, we don't wake up and we're  like, yeah, yeah, I can't wait to just honor you.   Sometimes it's a decision that you make. You're  not forced but it's a decision that you make, and   same thing even with love. There are moments where  like I would probably want to do maybe something   else, but because I love you, I want to serve you,  and this has to be also reflected in our physical   intimacy. This whole idea where the person does  not want to have a physical intimacy with their   spouse and this is going on for months already.  I'm tired, I'm not up for it and there's no like   physical reasons. There's a level of sacrifice  that has to be involved. There's a level of   selfishness that is involved when people withhold  sex. It is I think it's dangerous when a spouse   who is not sick, who is not on her period,  or not on you know there's other components,   is withholding sex intentionally or out of  selfishness. But also vice versa. You don't demand   sex from your spouse. That's good. You do not  because it becomes about you. When we shift   the understanding and our thinking about this,  that it's not about me, we're here to serve. I'm   here to serve my spouse. You don't demand, "Oh,  I demand. Why don't you meet my needs? The Bible   says this and this." That's so good. We don't do  that. Yeah, that's so good because this Scripture   is not, guys we need to clarify something right  now. This Scripture was not given for a husband   to demand sex from his wife. You cannot, if your a  husband, listen to this very carefully. You cannot   use this Scripture to come to your wife and to  say, "Your body belongs to me. I am horny and   you know," or "I need this. I need to satisfy this  need. That's it." That is abuse. Yes. That is a   marital rape, that's what that is. If you take it  by force. Yeah, you don't take by force. What this   verse is for you as a husband to render service  to your wife, and this is for the wife to render   service to the husband. This is not an entitlement  or a right to take that. Yes. This is empowerment   to give that. Wow that's good. Yeah. So can we,  do agree on this guys? Yeah. Are you with me in   the chat? Could you drop number one if you are  understanding what I'm saying. This verse is not   something that gives us a right to take. Yes. This  is God telling us what we ought to give to our   spouse. The idea that you can come and force sex  because the Bible says your spouse's body belongs   to you, is not biblical. There is no service in  that. You're not serving when you're demanding,   and when you're taking. You are selfish and you  are an abuser. Yeah, well that's strong words   but it's true. Yeah. That is true. Marital rape is  rape. And I believe the Word of God, the Bible is   always given to us first, not for someone else.  It's for us first, for us to examine ourselves   first, including sexual relationships. Now, the  third thing that we want to share with you today   concerning sex and what the Bible teaches, and  that is to understand the difference between male   and female. Now, we do understand those of you  that are watching this live, there is a little   lagging that is taking place. We don't know what's  happening here but we want to apologize for that.   Those of you that are re-watching, you most likely  are not experiencing that. We welcome you if you   are re-watching. Now, to understand the difference  let's read the Proverbs 5:15-18. "Drink water from   your own cistern, and running water from your own  well. Should your fountains be dispersed around,   streams of water in the streets? Let them be only  your own, and not for strangers with you. Let   your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the  wife of your youth." And those who have ears,   let them hear. Come on somebody. You added that  though. Yes, I did. That is not in the Bible but   yes, you added that. So I want you to notice,  like biblically, it almost compares a man to a   fountain and a woman to a well. So drop this in  the chat. Solomon compares a man to a fountain   and a woman to a well. Let me just put it in a  plain language. Generally speaking, this is not   speaking in every case, but generally speaking man  is like a well, always ready. Oh excuse me, a man   is like a fountain. I apologize, and the woman is  like a well, needs to be drawn out. Yes. Meaning   you know like Kevin Lehman said in his book  Music Sheets, sex doesn't begin in a bedroom,   it begins in the kitchen, in the living  room, in other places. That doesn't mean   that that's where the actual sex starts. Meaning  the sex is not just an act, it's a relationship.   Speak that from the female's perspective toward  men who, or husbands who feel like you know,   oh you know they just want to kind of treat  their wife however. Ignore her, and then yeah,   like hey, I want to have sex. Yeah no, that's  dangerous because women usually they connect on an   emotional level to be ready to have sex, if  I can roughly put it that way. For men it's   opposite. And if you think that you can not talk  to your wife, you can not communicate with her,   day after day, and just come home from your work  and think that she's just gonna jump on you and be   ready to have sex. That is the furthest thing  from the truth, and some men they don't know   that and they get offended. They think what am  I, not this and not that. I don't provide for   you or why are you this and that? But it's just  a matter of understanding your wife, that she   actually functions completely differently. It  starts in a kitchen, like we said, and no not with   touching and kissing, with you helping with  dishes. You know one of those things. Yep,   and women, everything is connected in our brain  okay. We cannot just not think about things that   stress us out, or the things that this happened  there, this happened there. And guess what? All   of that, what happened in one day, a woman brings  it into her bed. If a man doesn't understand that,   unfortunately there will be problems, and  arguments, and misunderstandings, and your sexual   life will suffer. Right? Yeah, for a man it's so  much easier though. A man can go through hell,   and he can have sex right there and then.  Right in the middle of all that hell,   and actually it can help him to go through that  hell better. Yeah, it's true. Because men, we   tend generally, we as men we tend to put our lives  in compartments, and so we have this compartment,   we have that compartment and it absolutely is not  always connected. It's just one thing is here,   the other thing is there. We walk from one  situation, walk into another situation and   so. And it is harder to kind of, because  you think like hey, like for a husband,   you think, hey, I'm going through a difficult  time right now. I need to be comforted.   I need to be comforted. The sixth purpose of sex  in the Bible is comfort. I need comfort in my   life right now, and then the wife's way of feeling  comforted is to be connected. She's like a well,   you need to draw the water out. You can't just  come in, it's like push the button and you know   like the water comes out. For a husband,  I mean all you need to do is just push one   button. There's just one place you can touch him  and that's it, water comes out. But I also think   if you in a marriage relationship and you have  to consider each other. You have to consider   each other's day, each other's burdens and what  the person, your spouse is going through in the   season. Because one spouse can experience heavier  things, and you might be the one, as a wife,   to kind of sacrifice your emotional readiness to  help your husband in that way, or vice versa. But   the majority of times, we know that the Bible  teaches that the man, husband, has to live   with his wife with understanding. Because it's a  lot harder for a woman to turn off her feelings,   to you know, to just be ready. And if man  understand the simple things like that,   he's just not gonna take it personally but he will  not be lazy to do certain things to help his wife   to connect emotionally before sexual intimacy, and  to understand few things and then you won't fight   that much. Yeah, I think the sex is a reflection  of marriage. Yes. It's not always a marriage.   Meaning it's not a relationship, it's an overflow  of your relationship. If your relationship is not   good, if your relationship is not bad, then yes  there will be problems in sex. For some people   it's the opposite. They actually have a really  bad relationship and sex is like trying to fix.   You know when sex is used to trying to fix bad  habits, it doesn't work. You have to change your   communication, you have to change how you treat  each other, and then sex supposed to be the cherry   on the top of the cake. That's super glue the  glues together. But if you're terrible as spouses,   then you know sex doesn't fix it. But if people  are loving to each other, and one of them chooses   to deprive each other from sex. It's disobedience  to God's Word. Number two is that it could really   damage the relationship. People are like, "Oh,  it doesn't matter." It does matter. It's kind   of like saying, "Hey, I love my wife. I'm just  not going to talk to her but I will love her.   I will love her, I will serve her. I just will not  talk to my wife." Now it's different if I mute.   But if I choose not to talk to my wife on purpose,  it will damage my relationship. Yes. Same thing   with your relationship. If you do not  continuously, intentionally prioritize   meeting each other's needs in sexual relationship,  but your relationship is good. And for those of   you who may be like, "Well, you know we already,  we don't want to have any more kids so we're not   going to have any more sex. Sex is dirty." Sex  is not dirty, sex is not a god and sex is not   gross. Sex is a gift from God. Stop, those of  you especially who came from the world where   you practice sexual immorality, where you maybe  slept with anything that moved. And then now you   came to Christian faith and you're like, man  this is perverted. I have bad experiences with   it and everything. Please understand, God wants  to heal you. He wants to heal your mind. He wants   to restore you and He wants you to be the person  that finally enjoys the gift. Sex was not created   by the devil. It wasn't made by Hollywood. It  wasn't made by porn industry. It was perverted. It   was abused by the world, but it has to be used by  Christians in a way that's a gift from God. It's   not our god. Sex is not gross but sex is a gift.  Somebody dropped this in the chat. Sex is not god.   Sex is not gross. Sex is a gift to be enjoyed in  the context of marriage. Now, the fourth thing   that we want to share practically to change our  paradigm in the area of sexual intimacy, and that   is this. That you have to pursue purity even when  you are married. I believe that purity in marriage   actually is a path to deeper satisfaction in sex.  Why is that? Because if both people are not pure   in their minds and their thoughts, and they watch  pornography, or let's say that they you know slide   into other people's DMs, they have a little fling  on the side, keep their dating profiles active,   constantly emotionally engaged with opposite sex.  Or revisit images in their mind from their exes.   What that does, flirting with their co-workers,  emotionally attached to people that they are on   the stage with or people that they are in the  office with, addicted to porn. What it does,   is while some of these acts might not be physical  immorality, it's emotional and mental impurity.   Yes. And not only it changes your relationship  with God, intimacy with God, it destroys,   it keeps the bed marriage, bed defiled. Polluted,  yeah. Yep, that's good. Absolutely. Anything you   want to add to that? No, it's true. It's very  important. Emotional purity is very important   because if we lack emotional purity, our sex life  will be affected. Especially if for example if   it's a male spouse that is looking at pornography,  and a wife will always feel less than because it's   just not how the real life works. And even if he  is not going to say that out loud, it's going to   be in the air. That emotional impurity will be in  the air and the wife will feel it, or vice versa.   You know, virginity is abstaining from sex before  marriage, but purity is for life. Purity is living   in sexual purity where you're keeping your mind,  your eyes; where husbands, where your wife is the   standard of beauty for you. Where you don't desire  and you don't allow the enemy to lie to you. You   don't have wandering eyes, and you keep seeking,  trying to find you know pleasure somewhere   else. But you keep the fire in your fireplace.  Pursue purity. Number five and this is gonna,   this is gonna hit somebody. Yeah, yeah. Number  five is dealing with the abuse. Now I think this   one is big because I think it's the biggest one  because of the nature of it. And how it damages   the sexual relationship in marriages if one of  the spouses, they were abused earlier, prior you   know to marriage. If that person did not deal with  it, didn't receive healing from the Holy Spirit,   also with some professional help. Then  it will affect the sexual relationship   because that person that was abused, they will  most likely will not be able to fully open up   you know during the intimacy. And there could  be triggers, all kinds of triggers that will   limit the enjoyment because I believe that the  enjoyment of sexual intimacy. It's not just, I'm   sorry to say in your private parts. It's in your  brain first, and if you don't deal with your pains   of the past that affected the way you feel, the  way you think, it will affect your physical life.   Especially people who are abused sexually. Yes,  that's what I'm saying. Taken advantage sexually.   People who went through a time maybe where they  lived in sin, and now they regret that life,   they came to Christ. The association with being  touched, the association with sex is dirty. Yeah.   And so that's why some even people in the chat  right now, they're saying that the sex is lust.   And sex is not lust. Lust is when you have sex  outside of marriage. Lust is when you're eating   the forbidden. Lust is not sex. So how I look at  sex and lust is this way, is dirt and soil. Yeah.   Soil in the garden bed is nurturing. You put  that soil outside of the garden, into your   dinner plate; it becomes defiling. So same thing.  Lust is when you take sex outside of marriage.   When you watch other people have sex, you know  pornography. When you fantasize about having sex   with somebody who is not your spouse. That is  no longer soil. That's dirt now. You may say,   how can the same thing become nurturing, but in  another context is damaging? Well the same way   you take the fire out of the fireplace,  burns the house to the ground. You keep   the fire in the fireplace; it keeps everyone  warm in the house. So as we deal with abuse,   we must understand that sex is not the problem.  It's that maybe abuse of sex was the problem and   so if we have abuse, we have wounds, and scars,  and fears and triggers. It will hinder our   ability to receive and to give love, and so we  would encourage you to be open about it. If you   were abused and you constantly are triggered by  your spouse wanting to have sexual intimacy, then   just be open about it. Be open about where this  is coming from, you know seek professional help,   get counseling. If you can't process that on your  own, get some counseling so that you do not live   your life punishing your spouse for what your  ex did. Absolutely. For what somebody who abused   you did, you know, and those of you who are in  the marriage where your spouse has been abused,   please be patient. And kind. Please be kind.  This is not your moment to say, "Well, you know   this is not right. I don't deserve this kind of a  thing." Don't play that card. You know, be kind,   be compassionate, be understanding. Help your  spouse go through this, help them to heal. People   hurt them. It's going to be people that will  help them to heal, and you can be those people.   Yeah, that's good. Now the sixth thing about  practical things when we're talking about sex,   and that is deliverance from demons. Now you knew  this is coming. There was no way we're not going   to touch demons in this, even in this live stream.  We're gonna get those suckers. Yeah, because   what the Bible says about sex, we see that the  enemy really wants to destroy that intimacy. He   will attack the area of intimacy in marriage. One  of the ways that that happens is through Incubus   and Succubus. Yeah. We call them spirit spouses.  It's demonic spirits that people have sex with in   the dream, demonic dreams, curses of divorce in  the family and a spiritual loneliness, spirits   of rejection and other demons that are. We're not  blaming the demons, we just don't want to ignore,   we want to battle those demons. Absolutely. Or  the marine spirits. They are usually coming into,   we see them many times being married to a person  in a spirit realm and having kids with them.   We've seen deliverances of people not having  affection. Yes, yeah. Losing affection for your   spouse, especially in the area of sexuality.  Yeah, that is like a very big red flag that   there might be a demonic situation there.  Especially and usually it's confirmed by a   spouse that has demonic nightmares, reoccurring  sexual demonic nightmares and because of that,   they struggle to have affection for their  spouse. Now for those of you who are hearing   to this right now and you maybe are thinking,  man, Vlad you're stretching this way outside.   You know not everything has a demon behind it. We  wouldn't, we don't say that. What we are saying is   that there are cases of people who have unclean  spirits behind their sexual dysfunctions. These   are perversion spirits who are trying to steal  their sexual intimacy, and these unclean spirits,   they also want to sometimes fill them with  perversion and other things so that they do   not enjoy sexual intimacy and purity. And loose  feelings for their spouse. And so as a Christian,   what we wanted to encourage you is that if you are  dealing with the spiritual problem in marriage,   that you really deal with spiritually with that  problem. Instead of trying to penalize or punish   the person, that you go and you war against  the unclean spirits and generational curses,   amen. Amen. Now, this is the part that  I know a lot of you were asking about,   and a lot of you want to know about this is  that what about so and so. I mean what about   this? What's okay in a marriage bed? What is  not okay in a marriage bed? So, we're going   to highlight four things that are not okay in a  marriage bed, okay. And first Scripture that we   would like to read is Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage  is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled;   but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."  Now, the Greek word translated "undefiled" is   usually used in this exact form four times in the  New Testament. And it means uncontaminated or set   apart, meaning God wants sexual intimacy to be  uncontaminated, undefiled. There are many sins,   but we're gonna share four things that are not  okay in the Bible. And sexual immorality is having   sex with someone other than your spouse, and here  are those four things. Number one is adultery.   So it's when you are having sex with somebody  else while you are married. Yes, including spouse   swapping. Yeah. It's adultery and it's very  common in our culture. It's becoming common in   our culture where people switch spouses or swap  spouses temporarily to have better experiences.   It's not biblical and it's an adultery. The  second thing that's not okay in a marriage bed   is threesomes. Threesomes is when you bring one  more person into bed, and so I actually have seen   Christians justify that and say, "Well, Jacob had  Rachel and Leah. So he was married to two women,   and therefore it's okay to bring one more  person into bed to practice threesomes." Well,   you have to understand is that Jacob did practice  polygamy. It's not God's original intent,   but Jacob did not have sex with Rachel and with  Leah at the same time. Threesomes is sexual   immorality. It is wrong, even if your spouse  agrees with it. If you spouse agrees with it,   they are crazy and if you think of that idea, you  are also crazy. And if a third person is on board   with that, you have three of you are crazy. Yeah.  The marriage is supposed to be between two people,   not a whole neighborhood. Now the third thing  that's not okay in marriage is watching porn,   pornography. Watching porn with your spouse is a  virtual threesome and virtual adultery. Now I have   mentored or prayed for some couples who one spouse  came and said, we want to introduce into our   marriage pornography. So usually it's a husband  who forces a wife to watch pornography, and then   to reenact that in their marriage bed. It's wrong,  It's a sin, and it's an open door to demons. And   so watching porn to spice up your marriage bed,  you're inviting demons into your marriage bed.   You're inviting fantasies. It's not real, and I  have an interview with an ex-porn star, you can   watch it, and this is not how real sex is. These  are called performers. These are not spouses,   okay. And so it takes you know days to make a 40  minute video, and there's a lot of editing that's   involved there. It's not how marriage is. It's  made for entertainment, godless entertainment   but it's not made to be an example. And so and  if you take that as an example for your marriage,   just pretty much a sure way to destroy your  marriage. It's literally trying to fix a porn   problem by reenacting pornography in marriage, but  it's wrong. The fourth wrong thing in a marriage   bed is rape. All non-consensual sex is rape,  whether in marriage or not. And I mentioned   1 Corinthians chapter 7:1-5 deals with giving  satisfaction in sex, not demanding it or forcing   a spouse to have sex with you. The Bible does not  give that permission to demand sex. Yeah. Now,   when it comes to these four things that we  just highlighted and for those of you that   are just re-watching, we want to remind you,  this is a mature audience content. This is not   for little children. And those of you that are  watching on YouTube, we apologize. We do notice   it's glitching. Please stay with us. If you are  re-watching, you'll be able to watch it without   any problem. For some reason it's glitching on our  end. Now, when it comes to things like different   positions in sex, people say sex toys, oral sex,  all of these things. What is biblical? What is   lawful? What is okay? This is what we wanted  to address. We want to pretty much give you   three questions to ask before. If it's not  adultery, if it's not adultery, if it's not   bringing another person or bringing a pornography.  Or it's not a rape or you're forcing somebody,   what about some other sexual expressions in bed?  Now you may say, "Well, that's just between two   people." A hundred percent. But a lot of times  people actually have questions and typically as   pastors we won't preach that on Sunday morning,  so we are live streaming about that. And so we   want to ask you to ask three questions, if you're  thinking, well should we, can we? Three questions   to ask. Question number one. Is it prohibited in  the Scripture? If it's not, assume it's permitted.   So, if it's not prohibited in the Scripture,  and it's between you and your spouse,   you can assume in a married bed it is permitted.  So if it's not adultery, if you're not bringing   some sexual fantasies into a marriage bed, if  you're not forcing your spouse and if you're not   bringing somebody else, you can assume it's  pretty much permitted. 1 Corinthians 6:12,   it says, "All things are lawful for me, but all  things are not helpful. All things are lawful   for me, but I will not be brought under the power  of any." So Paul is pretty much saying that okay,   things are lawful for me, is it lawful?  So that's what the first question we ask,   is the Bible against it? Is the Bible very clearly  against it? If the Bible is not, in the area of   marital sexual intimacy we have freedom. Now the  second question we want to ask and that is this,   is this beneficial? Does it harm or hinder sexual  closeness between two spouses? So does this act,   does this particular behavior, will  it bring us closer or will it actually   pull us further away? That's a good one. That's  what Paul says, 1 Corinthians 6:12. He says all   things are lawful, but he says, not all things are  helpful. Yes. So okay, what does the Bible say?   Is the Bible clearly against it? If not,  we are within our Christian freedom.   But then we have to ask another question. Not  just are we free to do it but should we do it,   based on this, based on this. Is this gonna help  our intimacy or harm our intimacy? And usually one   spouse suggests maybe something, and the other one  will say, you know what, I don't feel comfortable.   I feel this way and stuff. So and then what that  begins to happen is that then this helps you to   know if this is helping or hindering. And if one  spouse may say, "Oh, it's gonna help me in our   intimacy." And another spouse will say, "Oh, it's  not gonna help me for sure." That means it's not   going to be helpful for the marriage itself, and  this is where we are shooting at. For both people   to come closer and not just for one person  to feel like, oh yeah, it's gonna help me.   A hundred percent. And then third one and that's  the biggest one, and is there a mutual consent? So   what does the Bible say? Is it lawful, is  it beneficial and thirdly, is there a mutual   consent? Is the spouse being forced, coerced  into what he or she is not comfortable with?   Or manipulated to? Or manipulated into?  Corinthians 7:5. "Do not deprive one   another except with consent for a time, that  you may give yourself to fasting and prayer;   and come together again so that Satan does  not tempt you because you lack self-control."   Yeah, so we see pretty much here that the Bible  says that there needs to be consent. Yeah. Even   to withdraw sexually, there must be consent, and  so that means that God wants us to have a mutual   consent. God wants us to have, is it scriptural,  is it beneficial and is there mutual consent? Yep,   that's true. Any thoughts you have on that  for people who are struggling with that?   No, just the fact that they have to talk  about it and come to the mutual agreement.   Yes, so that's pretty much summarizes our short  conversation about sexual intimacy in marriage.   God wants our marriage sex to be pure, God  wants our marriage sex to be passionate and   God wants our marriage sex to be also bringing  pleasure, procreation, comfort and glory to God,   protection and bring glory to God, yeah. And  so God is glorified when both of you are close,   when both of you are in love and when both of you  are seeking God. Now, when it comes to particular   things, you know what is allowed, what is not  allowed. We just gave you the boundaries of   the Scripture. Adultery is not allowed, bringing  pornography is not allowed, forcing your spouse to   have sex with you, is not allowed. The Bible gives  us that verse to serve, not to force. The Bible   doesn't allow us to bring another person into our  marriage bed, even if all three of you crazies   agree. It's still not biblical. And the Bible is  very clear that the marriage bed, when it comes   to the marriage bed, it's important to understand  that there is freedom. There is more freedom there   to experience, to experiment, to enjoy each  other, and to understand that ultimately it   is your intimacy. It is your private little garden  there where you have to bring joy to each other,   and not to make sex into a god, nor should you  treat it as gross, but you should treat it as   a gift that you wear and that you unwrap for the  glory of God. And I just want to give one advice,   mainly to women. Do not discuss your sexual life  with other women. I think that could be very   dangerous and damaging because I've been receiving  quite a few messages about that, and this is what   I would suggest. Keep it in between you and your  husband. Unless you have an unresolveable issue,   then you take it to a leader or to a counselor.  That's what I would say. And the bottom line is   we are in marriage to serve each other, to serve  our spouse. And to focus on that rather than our   needs, and thinking that it's all about us and  demanding things from our spouse. Yeah, yeah. It's   very important that we don't demand, but that we  serve the needs of our spouse and stuff. So yeah,   and we will stay here for just a little bit and  maybe answer some questions that we can. For those   of you on Instagram and TikTok, would you jump on  over to YouTube where we can kind of spend some   time with you. But before we do that, we would  like to invite you, if this was a blessing to you   would you consider sowing and becoming a partner  with our ministry? Our ministry provides material   that reaches a lot of people around the world.  Books, e-courses. Our ministry also provides   so much content. We're going to nations of the  world preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and so   we want to ask you, would you consider anything  great or small? Would you consider becoming a   monthly partner with our ministry, me and Lana,  and then would you consider also maybe giving   one time? We are currently raising funds for our  Philippines Crusade, and as of right now we are   I think about 20 or 20 something percent. We are  33 percent already, so we're 33 percent already   into this. So we would really ask you to just  ask you to contribute to that. Help us to reach   more people for Jesus, and you can give through  Cash App, you can give through venmo, you can   give through PayPal and you can give through  our website. It will be very much appreciated.
Info
Channel: Vlad Savchuk
Views: 527,419
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: spiritual, supernatural, hungrygeneration, hungrygen, christian, deliverance, what is a christian couple allowed to do in sex, sex in christian marriage, what is biblical marriage, sex in marriage, marriage, no sex in marriage, how to have holy sex in marriage, what is christian marriage, is sex before marriage a sin, what role does sex play in a marriage, intimacy in marriage, what type of sex is ok in marriage, sex in marriage christianity, same sex marriage in india notes
Id: gNsZQUjQT9s
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 49min 40sec (2980 seconds)
Published: Thu Apr 27 2023
Related Videos
Note
Please note that this website is currently a work in progress! Lots of interesting data and statistics to come.