Series 11, Episode 1 - 'It's not your fault.' | Full Episode | Taskmaster

[Music] [Applause] wow i just need to read that again [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hello i'm greg davis welcome to a brand new series of taskmaster people have accused me of having a god complex on this show well i've got bad news for you i've talked to god and he said you've got this and he's right i do got this and by this i mean my golden bones of victory and to battle for it we have five new gladiators all of whom have two things in common one they're happy to throw away their careers and two they can no longer back out because they've signed a contract the audience are watching this at a later date and at a safe distance so without further ado let's meet the cast and get this magnificent competition underway welcome charlotte richie jamali maddox lee mack mike wozniak and next to me a man who once told me that he's got no respect for the military and if any soldier came up to him in public he could easily have them because they're all stupid it's little alex horn all right i'm talking to to be here girl chuck to bits to have you here again i've got myself ready i've had my nails painted have you yes yep look there it is the watercolor of my mouth i didn't think you'd like that so i have actually had my real nails painted as well i've got i've got eyes on my thumb so i can do that yeah you know what it's nice up yeah no it's nice yeah all right so we finished okay let's have the first prize task of the series please yes each show the competitors have to bring in a prize for the prize pot according to that episode category and to start this series the category is the best thing you can carry but only just so if it's either easy to carry or completely impossible it's just not going to cut the mustard with us so back off son greg will judge which one is best and the owner will get the maximum of five points at the end of the episode the overall winner will barely carry home all five things over five cumbersome trips hello charlotte hello welcome to the show thank you so what's the thing that you've brought in that is the best thing that you can carry but only just um all of my bedding all charlotte's bedding there greg sew all of it with me and it is the best thing because it's it's one of the best things i own spend half my time in it why are you only just able to carry this bedding it's fairly light isn't it it weighs 4 kilograms or the same as the cat or a cat-sized dog only just i didn't know it was about it being almost impossible to carry i would say it's not almost impossible did you know it was about it being good good price we'll see we'll see i'm willing to bet that that's gonna i will be amazed if that isn't in last place i can't bet on what you're gonna decide you can't i'll bet with you will you yeah how much 20 pounds 20 pounds so 20 quid says that charlotte is going in last place okay jamali can you be worse than bedding you'll feel very harsh with it i i would say oh you should strap yourself my prize is a slightly hot potato here it is the slightly hot potato oh i thought it doesn't matter it was controversial no it's just a slightly hot potato because it's like it's not too hot where it's impossible to carry but it's slightly hot so it's good it's just like you've got to do this sorry i'm just i'm just seeing if i've got 20 pounds on me [Laughter] lee mack i have brought in something that i can prove i could only just carry because i took a photograph of it and i'm desperate to give this away great and it is in fact my own children now it turns out i'm not allowed to give my children away oh it's a shame they'd be a great prize for any home so i figured now what i'll do is i'll give away a representation of my children instead these are his children right so if you look at those photographs next to each other you'll see how much effort has been put into that here we go i think it's a contender thank you michael wozniak um the thing i can carry but only just is is a tune this duvet and potato boy this is lateral thinking okay well here's the cd on the screen this is what the winner is going to get mike has provided the backing track which i will play now facts about animals prawns are cannibals if there's an elephant in the room then you're in the wrong room cutting an earthworm in half makes you a sadist i think it's worth repeating that prawns eat their babies and monkeys eat monkeys but who gives them monkeys monkeys and if you squash a wasp it releases a chemical from the wasp that attracts people who tell you facts about wasps [Music] [Applause] you can't you can carry a chill you're a really good singer i don't know so it sounded fairly awful really and it was a sort of nightmarish vision of nature they're absolutely wrong uh crawls i'm just writing down prawns or wronglands and we'll move on okay sarah i was panicked looking for you know prizes and then i saw a really big road closed sign that looked very heavy i stole it and i got it to an uber and then i ubered it over to the studio then channel 4 said uh no that's theft and we can't represent that sort of behavior on television so you haven't got a prize at all no i i did bring a prize i stole the bar fridge from my dressing room here it is so it is a stolen item and again we will have to put that back because theft is still bad yeah sorry can i just check is it just me that's not got a mini bar in my room all right here we go let's crack on last place last place duvet oh sorry no it makes sense second to last place potato two points for this third to last place three points mini fridge three points for the stolen fridge oh if they were his real kids he would have won but they're not his real kids but he still gets second place four points man i don't know why what's the axe song takes it she's got instinct okay let's go first task papa please alex okay here we go here it is [Music] hi no good entrance i got some some swagger come in alex hello mike hello jamali i'm not gonna ask permission i'm just gonna open this one do the most impressive thing under this table with one hand you must be looking at the camera and waving with your other hand throughout your impressive thing okay it's going to be my right hand because this hand doesn't do anything you have 15 minutes to prepare for your impressive thing then a minute in which to do your impressive thing your time's not now thank you oh it's a pleasure people don't often say thank you clicking's not impressive is it i could make something um i could cook something i use this okay i don't know how many impressive things i'm able to do with two hands i've always wanted to do that thing where you do that with a coin so maybe i'll have a go at this might be the time right i won't be needing that 15 minutes just let me prepare myself excuse me back in the magnetic am i allowed to watch a video of someone doing it there might be a knack to it i'm just missing yeah you are giving yourself seven minutes to learn quite a difficult skill i could sketch your face or i could do like um like the golden gate bridge i can't draw [Music] oh no what's wrong well it's just so good this has done nothing for my confidence come in oh i was just outside looking for ideas but there weren't any ideas outside no right charlotte says i'm gonna have to use my right hand because this one doesn't do anything yeah hands are amazing but this really doesn't really do anything it's largely redundant yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean i'm grateful for it but it doesn't i did want to ask you about your uh chosen outfit what's the inspiration behind your look i've written down middle management primary school that's pretty fair geography teacher do you know what i mean rf reject i'm not really sure but i mean they were quite cheap and they were they were available and they they cover the crucial bits good let's crack on okay well first up it's the hugely successful comedian lee mack so i'm going to attempt to make you a feast using only one hand you better eat this your time starts please waverly [Music] [Music] [Music] oh [Music] [Music] what were you hoping the end result would be i genuinely thought i would be able to do something amazing that when it came up you'd be like wow that is pretty important you keep using the word feast well it's a feast in it you can feast on it i admired your ambition thank you and the end result was rubbish who's next okay next we're going to see a han dipadian sarah kendall your minute starts okay oh i've just broken it i think [Music] okay [Music] thank you sarah [Music] pretty good thank you you're always going to score highly for humiliating alex horne that's what i figured and i was that was the game that i was playing it's always gonna work yeah lovely pretty lady thank you a lot of compliments today sarah i think it's an excellent attempt thanks next up it's charlotte ritchie did she manage to rapidly develop a skill that usually takes years to master let's find out okay [Music] manic [Music] okay [Music] still got a gorgeous 18 seconds [Music] i can't do it ah finished yeah goodbye charlotte thank you very much oh the chair's laughing at me [Applause] still convinced it's just your left hand it's not very good i think that was electric don't we i think if you saw it out of context of knowing that you just learned it okay you'd be thrown out of any theater in the last i thought it was absolutely brilliant it was in slow motion wasn't it well it's called a coin walk it normally takes 50 hours to perfect the coin walk right she took seven minutes to learn it because she also spent two minutes practicing waving with the other hand jamali shall we yeah let's do it man let's watch tamale maddox that was you and your guy was it that was me impressive there you go it was impressive wasn't it thank you molly thank you just you know sit down bye-bye [Applause] yeah it's certainly the best ever example of uh spinning a cushion on top of a doll i've ever seen can you spin a cushion of course i can i don't think you can do you're not thinking i i i know because i can hear the hater in your toes i know you can't do it and that's what haters do it you can't do something you sit on your chair that's been custom-made little people you know what we're not having it anymore all right yeah wearing black looking slimming we get it all right do you know what yeah i'm not looking asleep yeah i have to say i thought oh i can do that and i tried to spin the cushion it's not an easy skill i don't think you'll be able to do that he can't no it's impossible he wouldn't be able to do it as soon as one of my manservants brings me it we'll see won't we okay it's the man the myth the moustache it's mike wozniak yes please just got to uh adjust not to worry i'm quite anticipating that quite slippery quite slippery trousers as well okay take it away mike nope [Music] so you're the only person i know who would play a bala like a under a table and i wouldn't doubt for a second that you arrived on set with a balalaika was that a tune was that an actual that was intended to be the task master theme tune but you really have to dig into it to try it i thought it was thunderstruck oh yeah pretty good it's kind of like a horror film in the kremlin very haunting isn't it it's a haunting sound and the haunting image yeah you're ready to score i'm not going to give anyone one point because to some degree i was impressed by all of them okay i may review my next judgment if it proves that i can't spin a pillow but as things stand i'm going to give two points to both jamali and charlotte crumbs wow that is amazing but i'm not going to clap that that was that's if there's more than that cool but if you can't spin a cushion he may go up in point and others may go down i'll give him an extra point just one extra point yeah i enjoyed the ambition but not the final product that's three points for lee oh come on you're saying that was more impressive than the spinning official um it was a close run thing but sarah's beautiful lady gets four points four points yeah okay so there's still five points to be won by anyone who can learn the taskmaster theme in that time and play it on a bala like under a table deserves five points mike wasn't outside another point let's see an early scoreboard alex please excitingly these are also the series scores mike was got a full 10 points whoa another one please absolutely and it's time to call pest control hello molly what's up you feeling all right uh yeah i'm fine how are you i'm okay good how you feeling baffled you're baffled just looking for the task okay [Music] ah i don't like that tail no no no that's okay oh that was good i like that thank you catch the rat oh no most ingenious catching of the rat wins you must be at least three meters from the rat when you catch it the rat will run over the red green in 30 minutes from now ah i've already got an idea give me a hand please please give me a hand ingenious ingenious all right thanks okay uh excuse me a moment i'm just gonna go another mooch about mike continuing the theme of inhabiting the body of a primary school teacher and i'm moot are you uh genuinely frightened of frats um you're huge big ones like that yes huge big remote control ones yeah yeah let's have a look okay we're going to start with two comedians called sarah kendall and lee mack lovely how heavy is that bathtub do you remember the game mousetrap [Music] yes carry on so i'm assuming it's going to come from over there because that's where it left from it's creature of habit could you help me turn the bath over please [Music] but it's the bath please alex [Music] okay now we do a little test [Music] do you know what uh rat's like peanut butter you ever had rat i have tennis ball cheese [Music] right i'm ready come on cheese nice cheese cheese balls cheese balls cheese balls [Music] oh he's thinking about it he's thinking about it yeah there you go that felt so good now i want to do it with a real animal eat the cheese eat the cheese eat the cheese eat the cheese [Applause] [Music] i think you trapped the rat with the bat and that's that wow quite a classic roadrunner style trap yeah i mean i can't get over how creative i i got a bloodlust in me where i just wanted to trap the animal and follow the rules yeah there was no fun attached to it oh we could get a cricket ball it was and i think i know the reason for that what's that because i saw a sort of fear in your eyes when you recounted the fact when you said you've had rats yeah i had a flashback yeah i went to another place she was very efficient she um set the wrap trap in four minutes and do rats like peanut butter yes city rats very much like me they eat garbage and meat probably that includes peanut butter let's trap the rat in in the most practical and ingenious fashion ingenious fashion oh i don't know how ingenious it was it was effective though but i did have a big advantage in that i also have had an infestation of rats at my house and that is exactly how we caught them really nice i mean it did work first time he set it up there was no tinkering with the player it was not came out fully formed and it was a lovely stroke i don't know if you're a cricketer but it was lovely thank you no i followed through that's the secret follow through now it's the turn of the hairy guys mike and jamali [Music] i'm gonna do something with this thing i don't know why but this seems like okay okay it's going to be a multi-level trap is it it has multi dimensions to it [Music] oh that's not working all right [Music] [Applause] [Music] ugh made a picture of it if you could try and get the holes in the holes pull it pull it ah [Music] that's all right don't worry about that i'm gonna move on to phase b soon how many phases are there i think two then it's action time [Music] all right [Music] i've got a spare piece of cheese on you have you alex cheese it's not really spare be my piece of cheese i'll owe you a piece of cheese honestly [Music] yeah i'm ready for the rat okay all right i think you trapped the rat i'm trapped alright he's not in the bucket but he ain't going anywhere do you have like green screen stuff oh we can edit this yeah hey i have my [Applause] ready yes [Music] i have no defense i'm sorry i mean it's one of the worst things i've ever seen in on 11 series of the show but i mean i was worried for you right at the very beginning when you got some wheels and went yeah you then knocked a ball through a draining pipe and expected us to green screen it for you well i mean if you look at the footage you can't actually see my hand doing it so no i don't know what you're talking about mate rubbish so rubbish yeah i want i want to be combative with you but you're right right mostly incredible work it seems to me that you're inhabiting the body of an 80s sitcom man with every video that goes past it looks like richard bryze has been brought back to life maybe that sort of was just being channeled i don't know i was just blinded by the spectacle of it he was hiding behind bins with some branches yeah i didn't even know he was behind that because of the branches yeah okay it's time for the turn of charlotte ratche [Music] this way for cheese all racks welcome in case they thought yeah okay i'm just finding the breathing hole yeah if everything's gone according to plan i should be completely hidden yeah yeah it's not gonna know what's hit it okay do you want to put this here yes please thank you good luck this is terrifying [Music] i think so one rat thank you charlotte thank you ingenious oh then they will say you had to be off the green though by like three meters or something wasn't that in the rules it did hint at that in the world i was going to dramatically reveal that oh sorry sorry about it ingenious i could take issue with the idea that the rat could read your sign this way that is yeah sure if i was being pedantic but it's a remote control rather than let's not be right i mean i thought it was amazing and i can tell you now it would be getting five sweet points because i thought it was the most ingenious thing so no points to charlotte no points to charlotte literally none i'm sorry okay yeah thank you one point to tamale his was robbie right yeah i mean yeah all right so one point is your money then we're jumping up to three are we now yeah it's tricky i i think as a team if only we could have collaborated the phone could have collaborated i'm gonna give them both three points three points to sarah three points to mike yeah and you've got to give it to him it was a it was a lovely stroke it trapped the rat and it was ingenious i'm going to give him five points this one involves some dangerous table service outside an aircraft hangar hey alex you're ready for anything i never know with this show though the task could be go to sleep for 20 minutes how do you feel i feel boulder's brass in this get up hello lee alex i think it's the coolest you've looked so far thank you oh yeah oh hiya deliver all the plates to alex when carrying the plates you must travel by scooter or bicycle or hoverboard for every plate fallen or broken you will have 20 minutes added to your time fastest winds you may start moving plates in three minutes from now yeah you've got three minutes to test out your equipment if you want to yeah yeah finally the costumes come in handy that's it off you go oh my god oh my god [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] pretty cool do you mind me asking are you an only child another classic greg david's chat up like why'd you ask greg it was just like narrating your own play time broke my heart a little bit oh my gosh honestly i can't believe i was having so much fun like it's really sweet well thanks when i was a kid there was a bloke who decided one day that for the rest of his life he would wear full dinner dress everywhere he went his name was scooby r.i.p anyway i think if scooby was still alive and he was standing next to me and you went by in your outfit he'd nudge me and go poor blow yeah tragic i loved it with the cape flapping in the wind well it's an incredible image um should we see some stuff okay so it's 18 plates 20 minute penalty for each plate smashed now just like what a yuppie had for breakfast in the 90s it's jam and charlie you can start moving plates in three seconds two [Music] one [Music] okay [Applause] [Music] [Music] oi oh gosh 20 minutes is it does he drop it [Applause] all righty okay thank you for the plates charlotte are they all there they're all there well no some one table's gone ah this is one table right good yes you can go now thank you molly bye-bye [Music] [Applause] it's absolutely mystified tomorrow i just didn't tie up properly at the bottom that was the only problem you think that your bum purpose would have worked otherwise i'm trying to do like what the with the ladies doing the motherland with the babies where they tie around themselves but i just didn't get that so if it was a baby well mercifully there wasn't a baby or nine babies smashed on the carpet nine smashed babies you don't want that no not doing that on your cv not on prime time tv no all right charlotte two wees one wahoo and one oh i mean i did it and i had fun so what more could you look like you're having a lot of fun you could just send me on miles and i would laugh the whole way recently i took one out and i was like i couldn't stop laughing oh i'm thinking about it now jamali was eight minutes even without the smashing because she he went back to double bumper poos the second lot so eight minutes plus the 180 minutes penalty for the nine plates so incredibly even though charlotte did the plates two at a time she was three hours two minutes and 48 seconds faster than jamaa wow even though she went very slowly i think it's fair to say the bumper push has been a failure yeah sometimes you've got a foul to succeed in life now with two names that were popular in the 80s it's lee and sarah you can start collecting plates [Music] [Music] oh ready hi sarah hi you brought me my plate yeah thank you am i doing this wrong [Music] come on [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] stop the shot [Music] thank you for the plate thank you for the plates all safely delivered i mean life's for living right i've stopped the clock yes i should have done the whole table the first time would i get a bonus point if i managed to juggle three i'm going to say yes [Music] [Applause] that doesn't happen thank you [Applause] there's a marked contrast but you often attempt the wheel skid as you arrive at a table very exciting and then the rest of the time you look like you were going at the pace of a little old lady what i find really depressing about it is that i know i'm being visually boring so i'm trying to zoos it up by putting my foot out occasionally oh come on you shouted lives for living yeah because i knew that i was boring the crew senseless and what you've done cleverly is put me next to lee in the edit so that you can see what showman these juggling plates he's got a cape on he's put some thought into it yeah it's a pretty cruel juxtaposition it's nasty old uh swag and bag worked out a treat though didn't it yeah i didn't shout out life for living he didn't need to the crew shouted it again and again and again again and again and again for the rest of that day we're going to take those minutes off though because these so now let's get something straight here you said bring them to the table i brought them to the table end of task oh they've fallen out of the thing and what happens if we say those two plates okay then he'll come second last with a time of 41 minutes 20. well i think this has got to be properly debated amongst the group i agree with you guys i think lee's wrong and i think he smashed a plate before the time ended that's what i think i think he's second last material right come down to the bottom of me who is the final contestant it's mr mike what's next go okay i imagine this to move faster but it might be sensing my creeping sense of dread go come on there we go oh hello look at that something's happening are you operating this remotely okay come on buddy [Applause] tick-tock that's it tick tock tick tock against the clock thank you mike thank you soggy i'll go and do all that yep it's not your fault thanks bye-bye has there ever been uh more stark juxtaposition than you on that scooter in front of a jet in my head that whole thing lasted about seven or eight seconds have you used one before no no i'll see how do you know right at the end of that mike uh pointed out that he was soaking wet because of the rain and then he paused look back and went it's not your fault i think you could be eaten by a tiger and you'd say it's not your fault it's just yours [Laughter] he did it in three minutes and two seconds oh wow wow sarah two minutes 29 seconds nice charlotte five minutes 12 jamali 188 minutes because of the smash plates so it's whether lee comes first or fourth listen i don't think in taskmaster history i've ever put a decision on to you but i'm gonna well if rules are rules then i think lee has to win because he delivered 18 unbroken plates in one minute 20. there you go it's done so it's one point to demarlie two points to charlotte three to mike four to sarah but five points to lee mack the reckless man but look at the scoreboard before that we went on a quick look in your draw i put something in it during the break uh i see you promised jamali one point if you're able to spin the pillow so how many attempts do you get three okay god three attempts [Laughter] oh you didn't do that [Applause] so that is one bonus point for tamale oh well done tomorrow can we have a quick look at the scoreboards please yes it's made all the difference because he's now got seven points mike and lee have both got 17. that's all to play for will you please head to the stage for the first time this series for the final task of the show [Applause] [Music] yes yes who will be reading the task out i would like lee mack to read the task out please read it stack your buckets so that they are taller than you then put one bean bag on top of the buckets you may not leave your spot at any point fastest wins does everyone understand the rules stack it so it's taller than me then put a beanbag on top yeah why have we got five bean bags it's up to you how you use those bean bags but one of them has to go on top that'll do when you're finished please put your hand on your hips for two seconds you can start stacking when i blow my whistle oh my god that's it it's happening stay on your spot you must stay on your spots it's very important are you enjoying the task greg it's electric very calm from jamali who do you think's gonna win greg this is what we want you can't use them all like that that is not a wise use of the beanbag he's gone early with beanbags [Music] we've got a chance over there great sense i'm on the spot oh i'm on the small town we will check the cop we will check the clock can i go higher than me we have somebody who thinks they're finished stack the buckets [Music] right put your buckets down come and join us down here we'll see if that's perfecting the final scores [Applause] [Music] welcome back thanks craig i was talking to them thanks great well after all that chaos zero points to charlotte thank you zero points to jamali zero to lee zero to mike sarah stack the buckets she put the beanbag on top she put her hands on her hips but it fell ah two seconds after she did it and three frames so five points to sarah following the rules can be fun we're in the league of 17 but now the leader with 18 points and the winner in fact is sarah kendall who would have thought it not me sarah kendall wins please go and cash in on your carryable collection [Applause] wow so what have we learnt today we've learned that if you're a new parent you're struggling to get your child to sleep why not book sarah kendall to bring some plates around the whole house will be fast asleep in seconds and yet she comes out on top tonight so let's hear it for our winner sarah kendall [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] for more task master subscribe now you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 1,850,663

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster full episodes, james acaster, Jamali Maddix, Charlotte Ritchie, Fresh Meat, Jack Whitehall, Mike Wozniak, Sarah Kendall, Lee Mack, New Series, New Season, Series 11, Season 11, Latest Episode, New Episode

Id: vNTxnYm81n8

Length: 45min 24sec (2724 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 18 2021