Searching For My Son: I Had To Give My Child Away | Lost and Found | Only Human

there's a way to make an entrance my destiny it was now a conspiracy of witches download today [Music] tonight on lost and found a baby she never saw i didn't even know if he was alive and never talked about i kept a secret for a long time because i felt ashamed a child who could be anywhere i would desperately like to meet him and ask his forgiveness a young mum confused by culture i've always felt a strong connection to maori so who is her birth father like i've struggled because i don't know that side of me and hi hello buddy a young cheer milker who wants to find her dad your mum hasn't told you no that's that unspoken subject a man her mother wants nothing to do with so in the back of my mind he might turn around and not want anything to do with me [Music] families that are lost and found be for real they're always unpredictable [Music] i gave up my baby boy for adoption in 1974. he has been in my heart and thoughts every day since [Music] i often wonder what he's doing i just hope that wherever he is he's happy safe in love i do have many regrets so i'm asking if you'll be able to help me [Music] giving up a child for adoption can be hard but finding that child again can be even harder anne moffad is a sixty-year-old nurse who has lived in christchurch most of her life she has two adult daughters and has always carried a secret one she now wants out in the open so you're looking for your boy brent he'd be 40 now what do you know about him nothing actually um i do remember dark here and you never told your mum and dad no your brothers or sisters no so it's 40 pretty tough years for you yes yes has testing i felt pretty bad [Music] 19 year old anne had just finished her nursing training when she had a one night stand with a man at a party in christchurch and became pregnant ashamed she fled to sydney where she secretly gave birth to a boy she named him brent i hadn't heard [Music] sorry i hadn't heard heard brent cry so i didn't even know if he was alive two days later while signing adoption papers ann found out her baby was a healthy boy i was pretty naive about how things went really and i really felt like i didn't have any choice but to give my son away i had a lot of regrets he's been in my thoughts in my heart every day and many times i've wanted to find him but i really didn't know how [Music] three years after giving brent away anne married an australian and then returned to new zealand in 1977. she has two daughters and divorced after 16 years of marriage her son brent has always been a closely guarded secret i kept the secret for a long time because i felt ashamed but i'm not ashamed of him and i would love my daughters to meet their brother and i would desperately like to meet him too and ask his forgiveness [Music] and gives me permission to apply for the adoption records to find ann's son i really need these documents luckily there's no restriction on these papers and i'm able to collect them in sydney [Music] but there's a problem the surname of the adoptive parents is hall a very common name in the english world and the name they gave their new son martin doesn't help either there is something else i want to see in sydney the hospital in surrey hills where 19 year old anne alone scared and ashamed gave up her son it's now apartments but even today it feels foreboding and i can imagine how it must have been for anne all those years ago [Music] searching for john hall the adoptive father proves difficult so instead i delve into the background of the adoptive mother english-born jackie through her birth records i find she had brothers including one living in new zealand then a series of phone calls and emails leads me to john and jackie hall they were both actually raised in new zealand and returned here to live in toronto when martin was young they tell me their son is now living as far from new zealand as it's possible to be martin now lives in sweden he moved to stockholm after growing up in toronto where he was a top golfer he's agreed to meet me well i don't think it's hard to recognize you you look like a new zealand boy in uh in sweden [Music] so bit of a surprise when i rang you yeah definitely yeah it was i mean it's nothing that you think about exactly um to hear something like that so it's yeah definitely adoption did did you always know you were adopted yeah i knew as early as you could know i never really had any problems with that either so um i guess i was thankful that i that i got adopted out so i would have the um given a life that maybe someone else couldn't give me martin has a swedish wife marie and two children they met in new zealand when they were studying sports medicine he's been in sweden for 12 years and is a golf course superintendent [Music] some years ago marie tried to help martin discover his roots but back then he wasn't quite ready we actually did try and find something when we were in aussie eight or nine years ago and we tried to find that hospital that he was born in but the hospital wasn't there anymore and so he felt maybe a little bit pushed or and then we sort of backed off but now his birth mother is looking for him well you think you'd like to to see your mum your other mum yeah absolutely absolutely that's swedish it's uh wrong wrong language absolutely it would be great [Music] hello brent i'm your birth mother i would so much like to meet you i never got the chance to meet you when you were born i just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me thank you oh hmm [Music] your birth mum conceived you in christchurch and um your dad was a part maori chip did you ever wonder how you got your darker skin i've heard all sorts [Laughter] i used to call myself a heinz 52 different variety so i have no idea so and it doesn't remember anything else about your birth dad but would you like to meet her uh um ann moffatt was a teenager when she fell pregnant she fled to sydney to secretly have her baby she never saw her son before giving him away i've just found ann's son martin hall in sweden and shown him anne's message i just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me would you like to meet him uh um yeah that's probably been one of the parts that i've thought about it's like bounced around in my head for a for a fair while um with mixed emotions and this that sort of stuff but it was never really i thought that i wouldn't want to but um [Music] it's time to update anne she's waiting back in christchurch she has no idea i've found martin the son she's never seen well i've spoken to a man called martin hall [Music] and he's your son [Music] he may have passed away and i'd never get to meet him or maybe he doesn't want to meet me martin lives on the other side of the world in sweden but he's going to come to new zealand to meet you and he'd like to see you thank you thank you so much [Music] i'm happy i'm afraid all at the same time [Music] two weeks later anne arrives in toronto to meet martin who's flown home from sweden but anne's journey will involve more than just meeting her long lost son martin's adoptive parents want to meet her first oh gosh it's a daunting prospect for anne facing up to the guild she has felt for 40 years this is jackie i'll let you go and say hello to latino nice to see you after all this time come and meet john i'd love to thank you [Music] and i know that you haven't seen any photos of martin and you haven't seen him growing up so i've got some photos here and i thought you'd like to see it so this is it oh my gosh this is the first time that anne has ever seen what the son she gave birth to 40 years ago looks like this is him him with his brother so i don't know he would have to have been two this isn't in the house in sydney [Music] and then we go on to nathan was going to school so yes he'll definitely be too and that's nicole just do you want a box of tissues like a box over there but you see he had a big puku oh my gosh all i remember is this dark hair that's all i ever saw big wigs big breaths my greatest fear all i wanted was for martin to be loved safe and coming here to meet you and john has just answered that question for me so you do know don't you it's great love thank you you know you've given us a gift because we couldn't have children so we adopted two boys he wanted five but we stopped at two and we couldn't have asked for some anything better so you don't know how much we thank you [Music] martin's home from sweden he's yet to meet anne but he knows she's already met his much-loved parents their tick of approval has been comforting my dad said it's like there's there's nothing about her that that i won't like so pretty relaxed now probably a little bit less relaxed than what i what i think but uh it's been a pretty sad [Music] shameful guilt journey but um i'm ready to to meet my son for the very first time if you were to look over your left shoulder down there just down there there's a man standing that's martin so don't say hello to him anne moffat has just met the adopted parents of the son she gave away when she was a young nurse now she's about to meet her son martin for the first time i'm ready to meet my son for the very first time if you were to look over your left shoulder down there just down there there's a man standing that's martin so don't say hello to them you [Music] i felt like a 19 year old girl seeing your son for louis for this time it was just amazing [Music] he's just as nervous as you love him come on thank you [Music] thank you [Music] i could see that he had forgiven me and there was no nothing there he just let me hug him and he hugged me back the very very first time i held my son was just oh neutral [Music] nice to meet you blessed me too it's the first time ever that i met you thank you [Music] yeah i don't know what way it just felt this felt really good yeah pretty emotional more than more than what i thought i would i found out the new meaning of being speechless anyway but it's yeah it was really good [Music] when jackie and john hall adopted martin all those years ago they wondered if one day his birth mother would come into their lives it's so relaxed to this birthman that it's unbelievable it's almost like it was meant to be right to the very edge martin and anne are now in regular contact she hopes to visit sweden soon to meet her grandchildren while martin is looking forward to meeting his two new sisters i don't feel any shame or guilt or not even sadness now i just feel just blessed really i have another family [Applause] hi my name's amber and i'm looking for my father glenn meuer [Music] i've heard that he's part maori so i'd like to know if that's true and whereabouts he comes from so i could then find out where i come from it'd be really really good to get to know him [Applause] it's okay amber oliver is a 25 year old mum living in ruakaka just south of whangarei she's studying to become a social worker amber has two children eight-year-old blake and bailey who is three amber was born in dunedin and grew up with her mum and stepfather and three half siblings she doesn't really know why her birth dad wasn't around study never done no sociology it's a hard one it's really interesting though so when you were a little girl did you think about him wonder where he was who he was yeah all the time especially when i'd seen other kids with their fathers or mum and dads together and she had a little tears sometimes yeah yeah especially in my teenage years it was the worst that was horrible especially to my mum yeah she put up with a lot and trying to explain to me what happened but didn't matter what she said i was never going to believe it or understand it so yeah her mum believes amber's biological father is maori a man she briefly met when both were working at the dunedin a p show back in the summer of 1988. i don't know how much maori he has but i've always felt a strong connection to neither her mother or her stepfather are maori so amber's realization that she's drawn to maori culture has her curious to know more i was brought up very pakihab but yeah at school i was chosen to be the one that would go to the marae and um as head of our school and things like that so yeah you don't know what got you interested in maori culture um no i think it's more um you just feel it sort of just a spiritual connection to it i just really i love it i love the whole culture yeah it's all of it it's beautiful [Applause] amber reached a turning point when as part of her social work degree she was given an assignment that was called kyo maori who am i but amber couldn't complete the paper because she didn't know her biological father's heritage and that upset her a lot like i've struggled because i don't know that side of me and i wasn't able to fill in those gaps and um be able to identify where my manga was or um you know my aware and stuff so yeah [Music] amber knows her dad knew of her existence but when she was three her mum left the south island and they moved north has he ever been in contact with you no not not at all have you seen a photograph do you do you know what he looks like wouldn't have clue what he looks like so this man's ignored you for 25 years um you want to find him yeah um i guess i don't i'm not too worried about the ignored me part of it um since doing the degree it's it's really made me realise how important it is for me to find them i'd feel complete and i'd feel like i'm a whole person it'd be huge know where i come from my heritage [Music] if glenn muir doesn't have maori heritage it would be quite a shock for amber searching birth records at the library i don't trace glenn however i do find a useful listing amber's dad has a brother with an unusual first name then on facebook i checked the glenn mules and one living in australia as a brother called grayson [Music] hello hello is that glenn muir yeah glenn my name is uh david lomas and i'm calling from new zealand did you once live in dunedin yeah i did look i'm calling because someone's looking for you a young woman called amber oliver you're kidding me oh wow i've been looking for her i had people trying to find her in new zealand that uh yeah i've been trying to um look i've got a message from amber one of the things that she wants to know is um is she maori [Music] glenn's been living near melbourne for 12 years we've agreed to meet in a pub just down the road from where he lives in geelong he's also told me that after amber was born her mother santa maletta confirming he was the father glenn yeah david thank you so you've got a daughter looking for you i have i knew i'd find her one day what was your relationship with amber's mother it was only a fleeting moment over a few days and that was about it when i was on the road when i was young and so it was just the letter from her which said dated yeah you are the father of this child don't ever bother getting in contact with us at all you were not to get in contact ever had you ever had doubts over the years whether it was 100 at the start but um i had blood tests and whose idea was that my father's my father's yeah 98.9 chance but over the years you've searched for amber countless times did you have any luck or what what stonewalled stonewall from the government social welfare so the mum didn't ask you to pay child support or anything oh the government did that yeah but they wouldn't tell you where she was not i hope all i ever got was date of birth and full name yeah and a bill and a bill so would you like to see your daughter oh absolutely she is part of my life that has been missing for a long time if you were just to push on that button there 25 year old amber oliver doesn't know why she's drawn to all things maori but she thinks her birth father may hold the answers i've just found him in geelong she is part of my life that has been missing for a long time if you were just to push on that button there [Music] hi glenn i'm amber and i believe that i am your biological daughter over the years growing up i've always wondered who my father was what you look like where you came from it's been quite hard not knowing where i come from from what i understand you're part maori so that's huge to me i've got a couple of kids which are your grandchildren they'd like to know who you are and it would just be really great to meet you [Music] unbelievable it's incredible she looks like me is that good yeah yeah yeah unbelievable you would like to meet her absolutely i'm happy to meet her yeah one of the big things for amber is that she's been very much drawn to the maori culture yet her mother and her stepdad are not maori we go back from a long time we go back right through right through the south island we're in naito but like my mother's a solomon we're all part of the moriyari we come from tamuka which is a massive linuji of naito family and nitai tribe and i'd love to take it there and meet them all there's a lot of people in right up and down the south island that would be just amazed to see her and let alone probably see me again but glenn tells me that's not likely to happen for a while his wife paula is terminally ill she's got a lot of problems going on with cancer and she's actually doing chemotherapy right now and because of that you you cannot go to new zealand to meet amber not really we've been trying to go back to new zealand but we're just trying to get that settled down and then we can actually go back [Music] start it look at this [Music] glenn's been married to paula for 12 years they have a four-year-old son [Music] you came john who your family is glenn's been in australia for more than 20 years he's an earth-working contractor and now spends time looking after paula just be really great to meet you wow is that cool that's your sister [Music] when we first met he was straight up front and said he had a daughter that he never knew that he would like to know but was very hesitant in finding her because she was so young when she turned we thought she turned 18 we thought let's have a go but it was a bit hard and we got put off but it's always been in the back of his mind it's now time to talk again to amber back in ruakaka she's no idea i've found her father where he is or just how much maori heritage she's about to discover well the other day i was in australia and i met a man what no what and it was your dad he said really yeah no really yeah so he's not here right no he's not here no he's in australia but oh they he said he's had people looking for you for years and just couldn't find you oh my gosh you're serious yeah anything else you can tell me is he maori have you met him i'll let him tell you that wow has he got other kids he can tell you ah yes he does i'll take that answer he does amber is on the way to geelong to meet the dad she's never known soon glenn will be able to give her the answers she so wants so the answer to a lot of your questions is you see that little gate there if you walk through there the man behind there is your dad all your questions will be answered go and say hello to him okay good luck thank you oh my gosh really oh wow [Music] i can see myself oh my god as soon as i saw him i knew that he was my dad yeah [Music] hello [Music] oh it's one of the best hugs i've ever had in my life something that i've missed for so long [Music] yeah yeah it's been a long day oh wow that i could see myself and him like some of the features similarly yeah very 25 years yeah god she looks like my family she does she looks a hell of a lot all my family incredible so i am maori oh yes you are we've got a lot of history to go through let's go yay yay we're actually descendants from the moriori oh wow but the history we will go through we'll do it together yeah from one end of the country to the other oh really how are you that looks cool more than you know i believe good yeah would you like to meet the rest of my family yeah this is paula and here's john hi come on [Laughter] glenn has promised subject to paula's health to come and visit amber it's going to be an incredible journey just to show her what what she's missed after spending time with her father amber finally has closure and the knowledge that one day soon she'll be able to meet her new whanau in new zealand it's a lot to take in it's hard to describe just overwhelmed and happy [Applause] the last time i saw my dad i was four years old i have no idea if he ever tried to find me but i never stopped thinking about [Music] him always felt empty i'd love to share with him all the things he missed out in my life and would really like to know about the things he's done in his life could you please help me find my father [Applause] hi hi hello buddy 25 year old nikki stewart and her partner michael wormsley work as sheer milkers in the waikato just outside of ultra honga they are engaged to be married and have two children three-year-old leighton and bailey who is seven months so 20 years without knowing your dad yeah that must have been hard yeah it was hard um eventually i got used to it but now yeah now that it has been 20 years i never stopped thinking about huh [Music] nikki was four years old when she last saw her dad well we were living in hamilton my mum and my dad split up mum eventually got a new partner and we ended up moving down to christchurch nikki's vivid memory of her father is of a tall man who gave her 50 cent pieces to go to the shop to buy lollies did you ever get told why your dad disappeared no no your mum hasn't told you no it's an unspoken subject but then i never really asked either [Music] because i have children of my own and i couldn't imagine them not knowing their father also in the back of my mind there is too knowing he might turn around and not want anything to do with me nikki's mother doesn't want to be part of the search her partner michael fully supports her need to find her long-lost father i'd have mean everything for her yeah she's missed out on a lot not having a dad so yeah that would mean a lot i still wonder now like what to expect like if i ever did get to see him again i have no idea what my expectations are nikki's parents weren't married when she was born but her father's full name is on her birth certificate finding this n wayne stewart is not easy but on his mother's side of the family i find there is an unusual last name and this helps me find a cousin patrice [Music] patrice says she'll try and get a phone number for wayne and will call back if she does ironically it turns out wayne stewart still lives in hamilton the city where nicki was born just 60 kilometers from otrahonga where nikki and her family now live wayne's cousin patrice has come back with a current phone number for wayne hello oh hello is that wayne yeah oh wayne look my name is david lomas and i'm ringing on behalf of your daughter nikki oh oh dear um 25 year old mum nikki stewart last saw her father wayne when she was four my searches led me to hamilton where i make a call to wayne oh hello is that wayne yeah oh wayne look my name is david lomas and i'm ringing on behalf of your daughter nikki she's wondering why you just disappeared from her life oh god what happened was i ended up in jail i see well look that's in the past presumably um she would like to meet you now she's done a video message which you would like me to show to you um would you be happy to meet and have a look at that um yeah i don't have a problem with that [Music] it seems there's a good reason why nicki never got to see wayne when she was growing up but why didn't he get in touch with her since you're coming this way you must be wayne i'm david nice to meet you so as you know your girl's looking for you yeah long time since you've seen her i suppose what happened our relationship with my daughter's mother yeah it ended i ended up inside for a little bit didn't you do anything too bad no you sold drugs yeah you know but you know that's in the past yeah so when i got out um 1999 i tried to get in touch with nikki yeah and the mother said no way so i didn't want to rock the boat and nikki do you remember much about it yeah well she was only a little techie when when she went you know i remember the day that they moved from hamilton to go to christchurch and i couldn't even bring myself to go to the airport to see them off so you know i was i was very sad um i've got cancer right and every day to me because i don't know whether i'm gonna wake up tomorrow or not you know so i'm just gonna work it all out and i just hope that i can fight and win this battle well would you like to see your little girl yes i would push this little button here dad if you're watching this it means they've found you i have never stopped thinking about you it's been 20 years i remember a lot of memories as a child at your house playing in the backyard you giving me money to my lollies and sweets i would really love to see you again and if you can find it in your heart to see me i would actually love that got it sorry myself [Music] i don't think it's any worse that can really describe me i feel so i can go and see nikki and yes tell me you'd like to see it oh totally yep you certainly can what do you think of it beautiful absolutely beautiful [Music] wayne stewart has five children by three different mothers and now lives alone he has worked as a mortician but his cancer is terminal and so he is currently not working i need to break the news to nikki back in ultra honga if we can find you dad what will you say to him i don't know like if he wants to give me a big hug i'll give him a big hug like i'm all positive i'm all yeah i'm excited about it well i met your dad the other day did you really are you serious [Music] really really serious i showed him the video you did what did he say and he cried when he watched it did he are you for real oh my god oh my gosh so would you like to meet him yes so where is he he's in hamilton hamilton still oh my gosh [Music] oh my god i can't believe it i never ever thought this day would come when wayne last saw his daughter she was just four years old and he thought he'd lost her forever so 20 years it's a it's a long time with no dad it is how you feeling about it all nervous but really excited really really excited just yeah i'll probably be speechless [Laughter] all right well if you look just over your shoulder you see the grandstand over there yeah michael and the kids are sitting in the grandstand yeah and that's man out there that's your dad really hey when i started walking towards my dad i was extremely nervous and really excited and when i first saw him he just looked like a really nice man just like whales my dad [Music] [Laughter] hello how are you [Music] hello i haven't got any um lollies or money but i'm good for your love lawyers and they're all free you you have as much as you like thank you oh it was just amazing so he opened up his arms and i just yeah walked into his arms and hugged him my families are just drying bigger today i know yeah well when i saw her coming i couldn't wait to give her a hug it was wonderful it really was i loved it yeah oh beautiful to see you next year i'll never forget you i i know absolutely lovely thank you pleased to meet you michael michael with bailey and layton hello hello can you listen to me yeah it's just amazing finally after all these years of thinking about him here he is right in front of me [Music] wayne has subsequently told nikki about his past and his current health issues after spending time together nikki's contact with wayne has gradually diminished but she says she's happy she met the father she'd always wondered about [Music] next week on lost and found it's a big empty piece of my heart and it has been my whole life raised by grandparents she's never known her dad trying that she may not want to meet us is it too late to bring his daughter back to the family i'm the boss really

Channel: Only Human

Views: 244,301

Keywords: Adoption Reunion, Birth Mother Stories, Challenges in Life, Documentaries 2022, Documentary Series, Emotional Documentaries, Emotional Family Stories, Emotional Regathering, Emotional Reunion, Family Bonds, Family Reconnection, Family Reunion, Family Separation, Heartfelt Recollections, Lost and Found, Only Human, Renewed Relationships, Reuniting Loved Ones, Touching Reunion, True Life Stories, Unique Stories

Id: GBejRfNLssU

Length: 44min 33sec (2673 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 04 2022