Bullied Because I Looked Different: Daughter Reconnects With Lost Father | Lost & Found | Only Human

there's a way to make an entrance my destiny it was now a conspiracy of witches download today [Music] she's never met her dad all she knows is he was a sailor i was just too shy to even do anything about it finding him could change her life i just want to be whole you know i want that so bad but only if he wants to meet her it's either going to be yes or no a top show jumper wants to find the mother who left her behind i mean she got pregnant right away and admin went back to england but has she left her search too late i have so many questions plans that don't work out i've tried not to put my hopes on anything [Music] and two missing daughters they disappeared taken away and that was it so they probably think you're the bad guy there is a strong judge right there will they forgive their father if i saw them i'd fall to pieces of tea now families that are lost and found wow they're always unpredictable [Music] [Applause] i've never met my father i don't even know if he knows i exist i'm chinese fijian and my mom's moddi i don't look like anyone in my family i really want to know where i come from it would be like a new door opening to my life can you please help me find my father and where i come from there's perhaps nothing worse than feeling like the odd one out [Music] what's that 29 year old solo mom works in the justice system she believes her dad was a sailor who worked on ships traveling between nauru and new zealand piki has two children liana and waimana they no longer live with the children's father piki has always felt the absence of her own dad bula so you believe your dad was on the phosphate boats yes that's what mun's told me what do you know about him not very much only that he is um of a chinese fijian descent and i just spotted his name on my birth certificate when i was younger that discovery compelled picky to look further and she delved into shipping records she was able to identify the name of her father's ship the igegu but picky was unable to find william ma himself and as a sailor she knew he could be anywhere in the world [Music] because i was always a shy person i was just too shy to even do anything about it you know you'll maori on your mother's side but there's another part of your cultural background that you know nothing about oh yeah i've always wanted to know the other side of me you know i just want to be whole you know i want i just want that so bad picky has been wanting that since growing up with a stepdad two brothers and two sisters yeah i used to get teased a lot at school i just felt like i didn't quite belong i just looked completely different from everyone even within my own family you know my siblings i look nothing like them if you get to meet your dad what would you say to him i don't even know how i'd react you know if i ever met him if he ever agreed to meet me i don't know [Music] picky's mum is keen for her to find her dad if that happens picky will need to be ready to find out the truth and to possibly embrace a new family it is all unknown but i'd love to know all these things it'll be a whole new beginning it'll be a whole new learning for me you know how hard is it to do this exciting yet terrifying the white pages in fiji are a good start in the search for william but ma is a common name in fiji there is a william ma and it could well be him so you see there's another william marr and he now lives in new zealand but he spells his name with two r's searching in new zealand doesn't bring any obvious results but on facebook i have luck and then a phone number hello is that william marr yes hello william um look my name is david lomas and are you originally from fiji and did you used to work on the phosphate boats which came to new zealand from nauru yes it was a long time ago well i'm ringing on behalf of a young woman who believes that you might be her father that you had a relationship with her mother when you were on a phosphate boat called vi gigu when it came to auckland no i know i can't recall that well she's done a video message i was wondering if you'd be happy to meet me and have a look at that video william ma now lives in auckland and agrees to meet me hello william yesterday i'm david yeah thank you for coming um well as i said on the phone a woman has come to us and i believe she's your daughter her name's uh picky and do you know anything of her no i have no idea at all i never never knew never knew anything about it have you been able to raise it with your family yes yes i have i've spoken to them about it briefly and your wife is she okay uh well i hope so or would you like to see yeah this young lady should we grab a seat so this is the young woman who might be your daughter hi william i'm nahi i'm terrified to be doing this but i've done this because i am really curious to know who you are where you come from where i come from i don't look nothing like my family i would like to know if i look like you and it would be really awesome if you'd meet me [Music] she looks like one of my daughters actually [Music] i didn't know she'd existed i did not know [Music] you're reasonably convinced it'll be to be your daughter yeah i'll be uh i'd be happy to meet her that's great she'd love that thank you david thank you thank you [Music] william ma is an engineer at fonterra but spent his early life on the phosphate boats traveling between nauru and new zealand he was born in a village in fiji 56 years ago to a fijian mother and a chinese father william doesn't know when his chinese forebears arrived in fiji only that his father was born there he is married and has a family [Music] when you were young you said you always looked a bit different to everyone else yeah it was difficult um but i just got on with it your search for your dad you've left it a while why they wait um i've been worried about the rejection yeah it's it's a possibility it's either going to be yes or no well i've met the man you believe is your dad yeah i've shown him your plea and do you know what he said [Music] he said you look just like one of his daughters oh okay cool he lives here in auckland oh my god so you lyanna and waimana happy to meet her yeah [Music] oh yeah [Music] when he heard that you were worried about rejection and he asked me to give you this before you meet him 29 year old pikinahi has wondered all her life who her real dad is now there's something he wants her to know okay tupiki hello and bulavanaka to you and your children when i saw your video message i was emotional to see you and disappointed that i had not known you existed i say this sincerely i do not want you to feel that way there is no rejection it is late but i am here now and i would like to build a relationship with you and your children if you would like to your dad william so in a few minutes your mum's going to meet her dad for the first time would you guys like to watch [Music] so it's been a bit of a um shock to you the last little while how have you coped with it all um pretty well i suppose you know as best as i can yeah yeah you were determined to meet her i'm eager to either hopefully i can make up you know she's going to be coming down here in just a couple of minutes yeah okay yeah any idea what you're gonna say to her i don't know just let's let me meet her first and then we'll you know i just i don't know what to say i don't know what to say i just can't wait to actually meet him i feel like i i just feel like i'm going to fall apart yeah just the anticipation the excitement the the longing you know it's it's my whole life if you were to look over your left shoulder just down at the end of the wharf there can you see that man standing there yep that's your dad would you like to go down and meet him yep great good luck [Music] as i was walking down everything was just going through my head you know i've wanted this for so long and it's here now that was the longest walk of my life the first time i seen him i could tell he's my dad when i saw her walking up there was so much emotion i just wanted to get closer [Music] piggy [Music] [Applause] just having him there to be able to hold me just to feel him you know his embrace and stuff it was just it was amazing [Music] it was very very emotional for me yes yeah i didn't want to let it go [Music] oh my god sorry man i didn't even know i'm really sorry it doesn't matter now yeah i'm glad i saw you i look like him daddy i do look like you [Music] it's really emotional you know it always has been ever since i was growing up and that's sort of the thing that i was trying to just bury away you know there's a lot of things to talk about there yeah i don't even yeah i don't know where to start we do it slowly okay yeah yeah oh my gosh finally that's not the grandchild yeah come on this is why my name this is lyanna [Music] we just got loads to catch up on now yeah just so happy i knew she was gonna cry yeah this is it this is what i've been waiting for for 29 years this is what i've been wanting thank you thank you so much since then picky and william have spent a lot of happy time together things with dad have been really really good actually um yeah very happy and we've put a few plans in place for the future we will go back to fiji i'll meet some family and i'll learn more about the culture and yeah i'm super excited [Applause] hi my name's fiona tapp and my problem is not that i'm adopted but that i've spent over half my lifetime trying to find my birth mother gladys and i've been unable to find her could you please help me find my birth mother [Applause] fiona tap is a 49 year old mum who works with special education children she has a 20 year old daughter and is a champion horse woman who has competed internationally but behind her success there's always been a mystery after years of searching why can't she find her english-born birth mother gladys i understand that she came to new zealand on a ship in 19 she arrived here in 1960 late and it came as a bit of a shock to me when i found the shipping information that i had a half brother lawrence and he was three years of age when glennis came to new zealand she had me in wellington and her parents did not know anything of her pregnancy of me [Applause] [Music] fiona was born in a home for unmarried mothers and gladys named her christine adoptive parents were already waiting to take her in as their new baby they renamed her fiona soon after gladys along with five-year-old lawrence vanished leaving fiona behind in wellington as long as i can remember i've known that i was adopted and i felt misplaced at times in i'd look at an atom and it's made up of all these little baubles that make up the atom and there's all these branches to it and everything but i haven't got those branches [Music] and it feels like you're just the speck of dust flowing through the universe and you don't know you just don't know who you are and i have so many questions and i don't feel whole and if all that wasn't enough life has dealt fiona some unusually harsh blows well i've been married that landed up in a divorce and then i met my daughter's father and my daughter was three months old when he died suddenly of a heart attack a few years later i met my long-term partner who sadly passed away in 2012. so yes i've had a lot of [Music] a lot of death around me which is not not nice thing to see and witness on a consistent basis so finding out who you are and where you come from takes on a much greater meaning i just got those big holes and i just want it stitched up [Music] it may be just a little bit of you know finalization of something something in my life without it being dead however there is a very strong chance that fiona's birth mother gladys may also have passed away fiona has gathered documents detailing gladys's time in new zealand up until she was born and named christine but then the trail goes cold to find out where gladys went after that i've recruited the help of gail wilson wearing a genealogy expert who knows a way around old shipping records i hope you got some good news for me hi david just been very successful i've managed to get a transcript of a shipping record which shows gladys leaving new zealand on the 1st of september in 1965 okay on the ss northern star going back home to the uk and we discovered that she's from alderman lancashire and what about lawrence did she take him or leave him here too there's a master l howarth aged five years traveling with her so we've got them both leaving the country in 1965 shortly after the adoption okay so they've gone home and most likely to go home to the parents and oldham with that part of the mystery solved i begin my search in oldham in england and find in our house there's an address listed the problem is he's ex-directory there is no phone number available i need to find a way to get him to call me hi can i send some flowers to england the mother of 49 year old fiona tap abandoned her after she was born and it's proving difficult to find gladys health so i'm trying to reach fiona's brother lawrence half in england [Applause] [Music] my flowers obviously arouse curiosity lawrence health emails me and over the next week he and i exchange a number of messages he's convinced i'm mistaken about his mother and wants to see my research i'm sure it will be quite a shock when he reads it [Applause] eventually he replies again both lawrence and gladys will meet the owner i need to update fiona she's waiting at the wellington home of her parents mary and ellen tap still live in the same house that fiona was raised in along with her brother who was also adopted will i have some news for you [Music] i found your birth mom [Music] thank you very much she's never told anyone about you not even a husband wow but she's happy to meet you oh wow [Music] i've also found your brother lawrence [Music] and he would love to meet you would you be happy to go to england to meet your mother and your brother i'd love to come and meet them [Music] it's such an amazing feeling these two people want to meet me and that's a wonderful wonderful feeling and mary how does it feel for another mum to walk into the owner's life i'm glad for fiona i think it'll settle you down well i haven't been a wild child there have been many hurdles getting through to theona's distant family but finally i'm off to london then north to manchester but on the way i receive the worst possible news an email from lawrence tells me that gladys has changed her mind now she won't meet fiona it's a disaster meanwhile the owner is in the air on her way to england expecting to meet her mum oldham is a lancashire milling town gladys and lawrence have lived here since their return to the uk lawrence is still willing to meet me he wants to explain what happened after they received my emails hello young man i sent flowers to david yeah oh yeah yeah nice to meet you nice to meet you yeah your mum didn't make it uh no unfortunately it's been a quite a traumatic time for it he's bringing up a lot of old memories when you first broached the subject of fiona with your mum how did she react she denied it it was because she she blocked it from the back of her mind you know that that memory is gone my mother's kept it a secret since we left new zealand now last night she found me she says i want to tell my husband now so she says can you come round and just support me while i tell him he took it better than what i thought could you imagine bottling all that up for about 49 years fiona has come a long way to see her do you think you could get your mum to change your mind i i doubt it very much uh i mean this is a hell of a shock for me as well you've been told i've got a sister would you like to see what your sister looks like her message please yeah it's a message for your mum to push that button that's her [Music] hi my name's fiona chat and i was born in wellington new zealand my given name at the time of my birth was christine i'm 49 years old now and i now live in auckland new zealand i have lots of questions that i'd like to have answers to and particularly where did i get my my silly warped sense of humor from where did i get my height from i'm five foot nine i i really love to meet you maybe we can have a cup of tea and have a talk and get to know each other thank you very much [Music] she looks like my mum i'm not kidding so he's pretty hard on me though oh god so as you can see the owner's really really keen to meet her mum your mum yeah do you think you could take that message and show it to your mum and try and get her to change her mind i will try and be best but she can't say naughty all right i can't just well i hope not you and this is really big for you i mean that's your sister it's powerful stuff for that you know i'm looking forward to meeting her actually but i'm just comfortable i'm going to talk about what happens for you well my mom certainly got one of them while we await the imminent arrival of fiona lawrence wants me to understand why the new zealand phase of his mother's life was so painful after an earlier marriage a move to america and lawrence's birth gladys divorced the move to new zealand was supposed to be the beginning of a new life instead she had an unplanned pregnancy and then a terrible maternity home experience [Music] ironically the things gladys always wanted to forget are the very things fiona and now lawrence want to find out um i met your brother lawrence yesterday and unfortunately it was a bit of a hiccup he says your mum is uh vacillating a bit she said three weeks ago she wanted to meet you but now she's decided she's not sure [Music] top show jumper fiona tapp has traveled to england to meet her birth mother gladys however but there's a problem gladys has changed her mind and won't meet with the owner she said three weeks ago she wanted to meet you but now she's decided she's not sure lawrence has gone trying to trying to convince her she may turn up at the last minute she may not [Music] okay i knew that could be a possibility in the back of my mind i mean i've tried not to put my hopes on anything and i just got to go with the fly your brother lawrence he's absolutely 100 keen to meet you he's very very excited he's family and i need some closure somehow as to who i am and there's still a blood connection there so that's exciting [Music] i really just don't know if i'm gonna react on anything you know when i see it and your mum what's the story i don't know right even up to this minute she said she was coming with us to the park i tried everything i could to persuade her in a few minutes the owner will walk up those steps and you can say hello to your sister thanks [Music] don't know what to say it's just a miracle but anyway if um you turn over your right shoulder and just have a look up there see those stairs there the man waiting at the top is is your brother it's the start of meeting your birth family good luck go and say hello [Music] my heart was just absolutely beating like anything when all i wanted to do was just throw me just run seeing him for the first time wow the moment when fiona walked up them steps there was an instant bomb there [Music] come here [Music] well my sister [Music] oh my gosh it was just a nice warm feeling when i gave him a big hug okay you've got me on the octopus it's just a wonderful wonderful wonderful feeling oh god it's been a long time new zealand it's so lovely to meet you i've always been an only child you know for the last 49 years that's today i'm going to remember for the rest of my life [Music] come on fiona come with me uh my little grandchild though george [Applause] [Music] my lovely daughter here louise and i got my youngest son after the youngest son matthew and there's another son yet to come but he's working call richard oh three yeah and um oh i'm going missing out lucy lucy and the other little uh grandchild so i've got i've got four grandchildren together absolutely amazing i've spent 24 years trying to find family and a new door's opening and a new journey for me i've got a brother that's such a nice feeling later that day back at lawrence's house for the first time fiona gets to see photos of gladys [Music] the gladys is about to shock everyone the owner tap has just met her brother lawrence for the first time after her birth mother gladys however suddenly refused to meet her uh where's your mom there wow yeah just looked a bit like you [Music] mum looks very very pretty yeah yeah actually i've been quite told here you have a coincidence if fiona is never going to meet her birth mother at least she now knows what gladys looked like all those years ago [Music] it's three weeks since leaving fiona in england with her new family i get a call fiona is home again and has news before she left oldham it seems gladys had a change of heart got to meet gladys twice and i really really enjoyed it i got to learn from her why i was adopted i also learned that it had been very difficult for her to give me up and i i know i've got my sense of humour from her she made me laugh so much the love of animals has definitely come from her and i just really enjoyed meeting her it was great fiona's not sure if she'll get a chance to see her mother again but lawrence and his family are already planning a trip to new zealand [Applause] my name is wayne inns i'm trying to find my daughters kylie and amanda i haven't seen them for 25 years and i miss them every day [Music] i'd love to become a family again i'd be eternally grateful if you could help me in this matter [Applause] [Music] wayne inns is a retired caretaker who now lives at snell's beach just north of auckland he lost contact with his two daughters a quarter of a century ago a keen fisherman he has a lot of time to think about how and why they vanished from his life get very depressed when i think about them i see the photo on my fridge every morning and i go to there and it does remind me of the times i missed wayne inns married in 1973 and had two daughters kylie and amanda the marriage lasted for a decade and ended around the collapse of a family business i went around just to see them because i couldn't get it through on the phone and they'd disappeared they'd just been taken away and that was it since then i haven't seen them [Music] wayne until then had access to his daughters whenever he wanted he tried repeatedly to find kylie and amanda but never could since that time wayne hasn't remarried or had any other children 25 christmases have been very lonely for me a lot of them i've spent on my own because i've got no other family to come and see me if i saw them i don't know what i'd do i i'd fall to pieces of tea and there i'd just be just be a building week it's it's terrible um i'm sorry but it means the world to me i'm hoping that at least one of wayne's daughters still uses the family surname i find that the name ins is uncommon but in the white pages inns are all about hotel listings it takes a while but eventually i find an amanda ends [Music] it turns out both amanda and kylie are still living in auckland both now in their 30s kylie a teacher is married and amanda a chef is engaged both have children making wayne a grandad so who's who amanda kylie hello hi so you guys haven't seen your dad since you were nine and you were 14. what happened why why did you get separated um i mean my parents are separated and i don't know if it was just too hard we've we've often wondered wait it just stops yeah so we we don't we don't know it must have been really hard for you guys to have a dad who just disappeared out of your life yeah oh definitely actually me yeah i i mean i i was i was a better age in terms of understanding the whole separation because you know i can see that some people just aren't good together what happened with you amanda one of my main memories is sitting by the litter box waiting for him hoping he would turn up you never did yeah yeah when we do these stories we often find there's sort of two truths and your dad's story is that he came to pick you up one day and you'd just moved disappeared and nobody would tell him where you were okay oh wow that's something i didn't know no no wow well would you like to see the message your dad's done for you and see what he has to say yeah just push the button there that'll be your dad [Music] hi carly and amanda your father here i haven't seen you in 25 years and i'd love to get in touch with you again you're always on my mind and i cannot forget just i hope that this gets to you and you'd love to come up and see me if you've got a family i'd love to see the family as well so please find it in your heart to get back in contact with me i miss you peeps and i'd love to see you again wow so you'd like to meet your dad this day would come to be honest [Music] [Music] when you lost contact with your daughters they must have thought that you'd done the runner they'd mostly would've yes yeah so they probably think you're the bad guy that's what i think they were told yes don't think that i'm a bad guy and i'm not i want to try and straighten that out from start off so you must realize there's a strong chance they won't want to see you there is a strong chance back there but i'm hoping that they'll they'll see past that and realize you know it wasn't my fault surely the mother could tell them something like that well i've met with kylie and amanda and they do think that they thought that you'd abandon them so i showed them the message you did yep and they cried oh [Music] i'd like to meet you thank you [Music] let's treat that it's not good so tomorrow i'm looking forward to it i won't sleep tonight i basically won't get a bed i like to sit up [Applause] [Music] today means a lot to me i love it's getting ready to be great it's going to be the best day of life for a long time wayne is not aware of this but his daughter's families have arrived to witness the reconciliation if you turn down there yeah those two girls standing there yes that's your girls would you like to go and see them good luck and are you girls the first thing i want to do is run run to them you know and that it just before it was these my daughters and they look so beautiful they just remember just what i thought they'd look like hi hi [Music] i'm sorry it's been so long you've always been involved [Music] [Music] that's pretty cool just to be able to hug dad again not only has wayne rediscovered his daughters but there is the added bonus of eating their partners and his grandchildren and this is ryan i'm red dude i'm the old man today has just been the best day for the rest of my life really it's it's just one day i will never ever forgive for 25 years both sides of this family secretly blamed each other for losing contact wayne's christmases will now be a lot brighter [Music]

Channel: Only Human

Views: 101,497

Keywords: Only Human, bullying, childhood memories, documentary series, emotional reunions, emotional revelations, family heritage discovery, family history, family legacy, family reconnection, family relationships, family secrets, genealogy exploration, heart-touching stories, heartwarming documentaries, heartwarming reunions, heartwarming stories, humanitarian stories, lost connections, lost heritage, personal connections

Id: ese_lTP3Zms

Length: 44min 0sec (2640 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 14 2022