Sean Lock And Miles Jupp: The Infamous Cats Does Countdown Duo | Channel 4

miles Shan have you got mascots oh uh yes what have you got yeah I've got um this is actually it's been in the family for years this is a [Applause] um this um I I've had it since I was very young my my um my my my granddad gave me this he he was given it himself by a sort of WI woman in a in a souk in uh in Northern Africa and he says this I don't know who this cheeky chappy is but it'll always bring you Lu this this always on my desk when I did my gcss it was there for all of them about five general anesthetics just always just means of your children on to our first numbers round okay John and Sarah your turn to pick the numbers Shan miles Shan and Miles I once said It Again fingers on lips h on heads pay attention it's the numbers round yeah ready I'm ready were you ready no uh he brought up Hitler he was whispering to me about Hitler why was he whispering to you about Hitler he said I don't know about you miles I'm on the fence no I'm a bit like the Swiss during the second world war G I can see the good side and the bad side going to stay neutral yeah okay onto our first not oh no I do have a mascot but it's not it's not quite ready yet so if you bear with me have a little bit time a little bit later on I'd like to introduce it it's not it's nearly ready it's not quite I'll I'll come back to you later on the show miles have you got a mascot I have got a mascot with me yeah it's it's almost like a Talisman for me it's something I don't know it was to do with a person I was at very Lowe a few years ago very desperate period of my life and I just just bought a train random train ticket just got on a train thought where's it going to go and I met a man on the train who just sort of he was very friendly he gave out incredible Vibes and he just sort of he just put everything right for me he made me see the world through very different eyes um well sometimes that's all you need yeah just and it which makes an enormous difference isn't it just someone that teaches you how to love essentially I he posed for a photo with me very gladly this is a photo I took on the took on the train and um it was it was it was just such a special moment for me so I got the photo and I I didn't there I've also had um had one of these made that sits next to my bed that's um I mean what I'd like to do if I could find a way of reconnecting with him I would I mean I often wonder what happened to him I mean he was so he was just a very happy person it just sha out of him but uh no I'll never know I suppose what was his name he wouldn't tell me his name he said I asked for his number he said i't got a phone which is a lie it was right [Applause] there going to check in with Sean Sean what's the matter uh dinner's ready what do you mean din is ready it's ready my thing is ready you know I didn't I didn't have a mascot the show it's ready now it's ready now and what I've done is I thought I'd make a lovely countdown casserole slow cooked it and it's basically what is this Bake Off what was that and all the ingredients are letters of the alphabet so in it it's got Apple Bal coriander you can eat it with a donut eels fennel gooseberries then I've added some hummus some ink Squid Ink jalapeno curry powder lamb prey just the blood maip pan nutan oine pork corn so John can have a taste littleit of rum bit of sugar sugar bit of turmeric onion obviously then I thought M vimto perfect then a Wilk just one then I thought why not an extra Wilk yogurt and just little zest little zest of lemon and here it is it's all cooked all ready to go who'd like to try some doesn't that look lovely doesn't that look just it does looks like actually does look like the dog's bollocks the idea is you eat it you get diarrhea which is a nelter word so it's all been cooked up anybody like to try a little bit Greg yeah I'll try some sure thanks what do you think well I think it smells of loneliness would you like to try some mil I'm I'm really looking forward to it yeah would you like now do you want a Welk and some Squid Ink with it no I'm all right got a bit of donut with it that often helps that you have a little bit of donut yeah might help you keep it down yeah there's your bit of donut I'm going to have some obviously and I'm going to have a Welk on top to have a 200 Welk oh goodness no I've never seen a Welk before in all honesty well I've got about 30 there I'd pay £10 for a charity of your choice if you ate all of them in a row 1010 of your choice I could just give them a 10 I don't have to eat offer me amount of money that I wouldn't be prepared to to hand over for not eating 30 weals 15 no you have to go higher than that oh I'll give 50 no I'd rather give £50 to charity as well what if Jimmy was prepared to basically bank roll it I mean in the name of Comedy what is your magic number to eat all the welks for £110,000 Jimmy just just look on check with the gallery whether we can Bank say huh what does the banker say definitely yes yeah go on what yeah do it you sure the world show goes on what well well they're quite chewy I can't sleep for everyone but I'm happy to sit it out I mean if anything it's getting more captivating with every M I haven't finished one yet would it be easier if I fed you short look and then you can just put all your effort into the chewing you don't have to hold it really back fire open up open up you haven't swallowed a single we we we do have to crack on with the show at some stage I'll keep doing this don't you worry this will I'll take responsibility for this other than the financial aspect J me thank you what's next we'll keep doing this [Applause] you I've absolutely got this I've actually got this I'm used to multitasking is the loads left oh yes listen you worry about the eating Cho choo [Applause] [Music] choo I think somebody's going to deserve [Laughter] pudding enjoying this way too much sorry getting bigger I mean you are did you taste the stew what did you think of the stew I thought it was quite nice to be honest it were a lot nicer than 100 welks the the aftermath we're sharing a room [Music] oh well if you're going to be sick to in the stew no one will know this absolutely I don't feel well you're going to be very sick you're not you're not you're not I like it well come back and see how you doing with the Ws in a bit okay on with the game John AGG should I write down the letters for you you're busy bare minimum there's got to be a wel cam on him at all times because at the end of this he's going to fart himself through the ceiling oh that's such a big Welk you saw that did you I saw that that jumped it jumped it was alive Sean why don't you open up the curtains and I'll let the sun in means means a lot I'm not saying Sean is tough to live with but last year his family won a pride of Britain award and joining Sean tonight it's Miles J [Applause] I don't think they've given you enough miles that's right very very classy of you Sean you're going to do that for me when it's my turn to get a clap I'll do something simil yeah I'm joining Sean tonight's Miles J Mars Is So Posh that when he was on The Royal Variety Show the queen and Prince Philip queued up to shake his hand okay miles you went to some pretty Posh schools and yet you're the worst player we've ever had on countdown is that right yes you're the worst you you've never scored a point on this you're awful at it I not a point did I not won any round or anything nothing really and you've had an education that cost I mean thousands yeah yeah well I mean I'm just a bad advert for it I'm not saying that you know private schooling should be outlawed but perhaps it should uh no I'm I'm sorry that I've not wanted but maybe tonight I will oh no I don't I wouldn't have thought so if you if you have you played this or have you only ever been in the let's not call it the easy chair but your chair you have you been a contestant on I've never I've never been a cont I I think it's beneath me frankly what is it's great to have you here miles but frankly I I you couldn't play the game cuz then who would do your job cuz that nobody could do your job maybe um some teeth in a glass Sean here's a question for you if you had three wishes what what would you do um well how many in One Direction now there there's four members currently in One Direction that' be pointless three wishes well weirdly Jimmy I've actually had three wishes and they came true what were they what well the thing was I didn't really take advantage of them at the time cuz I was hungry thirsty and had a bit of a draft on my neck cheese on toast Pine a B on a scarf uh miles uh you and Sean have been on a winning streak recently uh what makes you such a good team uh well what does make us a good team we've got chemistry I think absolutely sizzling yeah we're like we're like too snuggled up for heaters um we but I suppose yeah really it's probably down I don't want to be old sort of similar backgrounds similar interests yeah have we got the same Hobbies haven't we we both like uh drinking and fighting it's like seeing a mirror talk to itself are you competitive on this I'm really glad you asked me that because I would rather die than go home without the top prize you're in luck cuz you're against no no no no no no no I got miles the last like five times miles has been on he's barely been interested um yeah I see this very much as my battle against white male privilege she's talking to you in this case it's not privilege we are challenged uh last time you were on Miles you were frankly appalling you were terrible at this game have you been practicing have you got any better oh yeah yeah I was very scolded by what happened last time and I went away and I thought to myself you know I can either focus on paying the mortgage and enabling my children to eat or I could get really hot at a load of letters and numbers games that have no practical use in the real world there was no it was not not a difficult decision are you saying you've got better or not let's not reveal that yet okay and how's it feel to be back you happy to be back oh what I mean what a buzz already yeah how do you feel about having miles on your team Sean it's great I mean it's great to be back with one of life's winners [Music] um have you got a game plan yeah my game plan tonight is you know yeah puzzles uh quizzes and all that but the most important thing is to bring a little ray of sunshine into somebody's miserable lonely life at doesn't matter how ill you are how sad you are how lonely you feel I can bring a little momentary light a flicker of Happiness into your dismal ble endless misery if you want to cheer someone miserable up just let John win yeah let it happen miles you've been on Sha stud before um how does he motivate you before you start well the thing about sha is sometime sometimes you do have to motivate yourself and the reason is because sha is no one really talks about this publicly but sha is I mean wildly temperamental very inconsistent person so you never know what's Sean's no I'm I'm mean this in you just don't know what state Shan's going to be when he sort of tries to take your dressing room door off the hinges I don't like people masturbating before the show and I think I've got as right as a team captain to put a stop to that kind of behavior you could have put it written it on a note and pushed it under the door Shore there was absolutely no need for you to get involved in that way okay Sean have you got a masc up well you know these days uh there's a lot of vouchers and I think that it's a huge market and I'm going to move into it so I've come up with a system of vouchers for different things for example this one is a voucher from dignitas and it's a you buy one you get one free and if you take part in their loyalty scheme you can get the whole family done and a very reasonable price what a lovely thought yeah what pet owner wouldn't be delighted to open an envelope and find that they had a voucher for a free worming a small dog or a large cat I've got quite a few of these vouchers Jimmy here's one this is meat Kid Creole and coconut now I'll be honest with you I've got quite a lot of these it was kid Creo idea he got in touch with me I think he's just lonely and he wants to meet people where are they redeemable those ones oh you just have to um most shops most high stre well no there's loads of information with comes with the voucher okay how to contact cre I mean seem to say anything on the back hey this may come as a bit of a shock to you but I'm doing jokes that's like a oh wow it's like diabetic lighter fuel what he done mares can't open the water cans miles can't open the water cans and I won't show him how to it's got a thing on it yeah we should have gone to a normal school sorry Sean I don't want to I don't want to be a dick about this but I had to show you how to do that last week that's why I'm being a dick now Sean do you have a mascot I don't have a mascot got instead I've gone for a coping mechanism I find when I lose which I will lose there's ways of dealing with it you get upset you go I'm not good at this or you can just blow your troubles away and a few bubbles can make you put a lot of things into perspective bollocking asses oh there we go and that I find quite soothing John do you have a mascot he's managed to caught two of his bubbles you caught two of his bubbles [Applause] oh it died I did everything I touch D so Miles your turn to choose uh three vows please game over already I'm going to write them down I'm going to write down writing them down but let's do a couple of consonants now couple of consonants see see how we feel after n and T chck another one up yeah why not pop another one on M hello um uh uh we'll have two more vowels two more vowels yeah we might as well enjoy ourselves you now you've got one of each lovely a constant and a final R too many mate yeah uh miles uh what have you got eight letters word the word is minor oh I've got an eight as well then oh really because he wasn't saying anything I thought it was going to fill in a g no we were just he we were just kind of amazed at the eight oh I got a seven what okay you got a seven what I at all I I'm kicking myself now you know to put on it here dick okay so uh what was yours John remount remount is my minur up there no can't have it why can't you have minor um but there was only one minor so it's capital M so the word minor is not in any dictionary it's in the dictionary but it's got capital M whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa it's in the dictionary but it's got cap what are you um talking tension [Music] round this game we're playing for double points it's the tension round miles are you feeling the pressure oh yes I tell you what it's bloody colons feeling the pressure uh Sean miles you get to pick the letters on the tension round if you could look slightly more tense miles and not be giggly yeah sorry okay now pick some letters okay uh consonant consonant con consonant m j r b uh vow vow vow vow i e a i i e what you done let would you want a consonant or a vowel next Sean well I think you better go with a consonant well uh vowel please a consonant consonant d right now time for John and miles to go head to-head miles your turn to pick the numbers the glasses on it makes you look like the two runnies have had an aneurysm that doesn't make sense Jimmy cuz they're both dead apart from the little [Applause] one I picture Ronnie Corbett watching that on telly then and just oh God like the fact everyone is having toast now this couldn't feel any more studenting what have you gone for Rachel yeah but I lemon curd toast lemon curd lemon curd Fabio you prick what's wrong with lemon curb it just does it's not your go-to you want your jam you want your marmalade maybe even a nice bit of Nutella but lemon Curds Way that's the back shelf you rate Nutella more highly as a condiment than lemon Cur yeah this disgusts me this evening you sorry you're saying lemon Cur is a bigger deal than Nutella you can make your own lemon kurd and suddenly I don't want to know anymore you can't make your own Nutella you can you can make your can't make your own Nutella you can shut up be quiet let's play Let's play numbers can we have your poem and can you stop you're moving around quite a lot shut up we just I don't want this degenerating into the sort of shambles we've seen over there people's emotions coming far too readily to the surface you just keep moving just can't you sit still right you're F okay on with the game Shan and Miles your turn to choose the letters oh what would you like Shan oh just take some responsibility for once in your life man stop being so frightened of making mistakes and just live a bit um I right okay well I mean just half and half it no half what's I'm just living it what you well sorry what's the maximum four and a half of each oh I say n well we're not going to use all nine are we that's a waste five and four you decide Rachel you decide well you want to see what you get you want to see what you get okay can you just spell out the word Arbor oh hello um you choose the rest Sean cuz you're opinionated whereas I'm sort of more of a team player well obviously not you might even do the bare minimum take a shoulder in responsibility as a team member oh bear what have you got I got five what have you got John I have a six okay miles uh seven five six and a seven Sean what have you got you got seven I got an eight wait well the numbers round is not looking good it is a seven is a it all be revealed mil your turn to pick okay let's have um uh what do you want four vowels five consonants no don't do it like that you do it no that's just rush into it hurry vow please Rachel I consonant please Rachel b c miles this is how you do it it's a master at work vowel please Rachel e consonant please Rachel L consonant please Rachel you do it consonant please Rachel s consonant please Rachel and the last one k Sean [Music] smeared I'm M also smeared also smeared okay who's in a sentence smeared what was that that you smeared all over the sofa that would be an example of usage what was that that you smeared all over the bathroom TR to do a positive way though that's L sounds like a reprimand I love the way you've had that smeared yes smeared that it's lovely okay your time starts now don't bother looking at it no point you're never going to get it if you don't look I have just a guess y got it miserable well let's have a look and see if miserable is up there little bit of Pride for should of miles there

Channel: Channel 4 Entertainment

Views: 395,622

Keywords: Channel 4, All 4, Channel Four, C4, Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock, Sean Lock Cats Does Countdown, Sean Lock Best Bits, Cats Does Countdown, Miles Jupp, Rachel Riley, Miles Jupp 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, Best Of Sean Lock, Sean Lock Miles Jupp, Miles Jupp Sean Lock, Best of Miles Jupp, Cats Does Countdown Miles Jupp, Sean Lock Tribute, Sean Lock 8 Out Of 10 Cats, Can Of Water Sean Lock, Cats Does Countdown Sean Lock Miles Jupp, Miles Jupp Picture Of Sean Lock, jimmy carr

Id: kF9ULYeGo_0

Length: 26min 32sec (1592 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 05 2024