San Antonio Late Show Roast Session "She's Confident!" w/ DC Young Fly, Karlous Miller & Chico Bean

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] yeah oh [ __ ] we got the big building we got the big girl interface which okay hold it put your pretty little face on it put your face story what's up what's yours [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] oh my god Allen Iverson oh mama Allen Iverson brave mama got the Allen Iverson [Music] your mama cool that's your mama right DoD that boy got his shirt tucked in the front so you can see his belt boy I know make it suck this [ __ ] in the front of [ __ ] that [ __ ] I paid a thousand dollars but it's [ __ ] they go see this [ __ ] he got a cup of horses on his reach was over a shirt new lady see it's a little woman look they in there girl was long be there girl think all did she take all the pictures of you land up and she got them long as all she's a champion from far away [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up she goes she just be laying there not making no noise they don't want to just come out [Applause] [Laughter] we're good sant'antonio how y'all feeling tonight man now yeah I gotta wake the [ __ ] up I know y'all was waiting for this [ __ ] waiting for this hit the spot talkin [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is wrong with on your shoes d do you know that Sarah hello let's beat that language or do you cook so that's how they were saying it easy there was a special young [ __ ] day on the appeals that [ __ ] and I fell asleep and land big on the perk in the lie like this [ __ ] we don't change hands tell me thank you this though yeah we're in San Antonio's we got to put on our cup in the cowboy hat see as soon as you get off the plane and San Antonio Airport you see the white man in these [ __ ] welcome to the old days [ __ ] right I just agree with my rap dude yes please old white men I know you picked out the fact that you guys this is confidence right here [ __ ] with anybody small is the image I would be wrestling what's your big ass [Music] she is confident yeah that's right she stuffed her stomach down in her tights and she don't give a damn about what you got to say she's confident yeah that's right why she's gonna flirt stomach down in her tire she don't give a damn working you got to say that wacky dude teeka she put her stomach down in her tights [Applause] she took five showers every night whoo I see you cuz she's gonna shake that booty right for him for you why you're so pretty I know you put baby powder on your it's true yes it's true that you didn't know when you're gonna get some [ __ ] from I heard you'd be like where's the [ __ ] she lives her stomach like here it go turn this [ __ ] off there is enough I am NOT I will not participate in any more of this [ __ ] [Applause] that was platinum come oh yeah that's the song I said she's calm put it yeah that's right she's tough first storming now hear her tired - she don't give a damn what any of you got to say everybody in here come on say she's confident yeah that's right she stopped her stomach down in her tights she don't give a damn she's calm put in yeah that's right she stopped her stomach down in her tight she don't give a damn what anybody's got to say she's calm put it yeah that's right she's tough dirt stomach down in her tights she don't give a damn [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] what's a label it's janilla Janee y'all show some love does your name love Yujin salute to you so just [ __ ] what I say huh yep playing what was happy every day momma's got those Allen Iverson braids and we see in here which your son I'm wondering if that's your only one you look really good that's how I felt that [ __ ] took the shirt and so you can see his belt you know it's going down in San Antone everybody's saying the hook she stuff yeah okay yeah find me somebody to sing they got the hook right hook let me see you we got so sick no nitrogen e these are needs you in you better sign beat you hear me you lady mo for the no feet I got my seat [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] listen stop delete it delete the whole song stop let me save yourself everywhere we go y'all get the [ __ ] of a femoral we just helped a lot of people I don't think you understand you look in the mirror you got DC oh you get well it's a lot of people in here you want to go out hey white lady right there how does it go you look like a whole Wendy's logo why how you doing can I get some spicy please elbow yeah that's fine you need to let go your damn hair line cuz it's leaving you what is wrong with you I'm looking for [ __ ] you're looking for somebody no [ __ ] know she waits for no she'd need a verse who [Music] you ready and yes proving your lace front shifted left to right right hey your lace for its new tail it but in three or four days is gonna look like oh man you know you need to get some of this [ __ ] these won't look at this [ __ ] what happened when you come to the $85 show this is an experience right get you some country music oh [ __ ] you got yeah that's right we do got cheese we do got titties in the building I was gonna I was gonna wait to say it later what they all live here Porter back they all okay baby you good with them little titties I suck them little titties you suck both of them chitters at the same time no second all your little city like eating a gusher yeah Wow one bite you came to suck them you gonna snort them like a lamp [Applause] and what's your great new griggles no Santilli real quick I'd be right back mighty the beginning yours [ __ ] you don't have to get it [ __ ] out my house [Laughter] [Music] today in the same spot it's okay guess what I know you got some mouth on you yes skinny women got to push the big like alligator mouth she beat ya'll and he got that little wall right there they block it nope come on back look at her she is showing shame before she said these black men are so nasty what is wrong yeah that's your that's your boyfriend right there that's alright that's your son that's your daughter look at you mama here with that and that's the [ __ ] she [ __ ] with ya wanna say you like my daughter now he weren't with her he's just cool and [ __ ] mom and with that Toni Braxton haircut look you to pull Chu you night you should have been with me baby [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] you can't [ __ ] with that lady she too much fun why is that [ __ ] [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of you how you eat lima beans seasoned get the Cougar Cucho and I no reason grass and the house of the attempted ass [Music] [Music] would you mind talking to he keep so people it is better better setup people wanna see his [Applause] [Music] [Music] the house [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] hey fellas grown man you remember when you was 20 you can [ __ ] all night yeah humor man [ __ ] a lot of man came [ __ ] all night no more if you want to go back to the days where you can [ __ ] off man I know the people that blew that coming they have given me a promo code so me and my partner skin got them go get the blue chip hills and [ __ ] these women all night long because that's what they want these days go to blue true dot-com and use the code 85 south show and get you a discount on your chewable blue choke on pills cuz they good and they get making me get hard harder and I said that nobody is lagging in that department but I'm saying if you wanna hit it with the rock hit it with the [ __ ] rock go to blue calm use the promo code 85 south now I'm not saying that this is FDA approved or nothing but you experiment with [ __ ] all the time why wouldn't you want to experiment with blue that color if you look and you have problems getting it up here's what you need to do blue - blue - dot-com go get you some sad blue cute dot-com and go get you some gonna make love to your leg come on down for a long long time and hero with that would swear to God I ain't lyin it's a sexual stimulant it making me get heart it's a sexual stimulant it making me get hard shutouts all the grown women ahead they still got some hell and they couch it that means you're puss is an adult I mean you just got too much [ __ ] to do you have time to change exactly she bears it that's a busy woman that's what you want [ __ ] couch is tight smell like all day shave it okay pootie suite is going well you gonna do some [ __ ] boy I know that I know the kitchen and this [ __ ] like how many [ __ ] wings are they gonna eat god damn another 12 piece [ __ ] somebody's gonna have to run up the Kreuger baby you look so down Sweden Champa I don't want to sit on your left till you have my life beer so you can sail you do to the beat girl oh yeah you gotta do this see our plan then that's baby pea from Friday legacy she two hands held open baby [ __ ] out the same house ain't no [ __ ] where the [ __ ] worse at 13 and sandals grown man feet you gonna play with her if he wasn't fella I'll kick your ass down the stairway dude like they're kicking down SRAM house doors with them she a bounty hunter that's what she knew she found a hunter on the east 72 beats and won't you oh when she get through fighting it gonna be brace all over the goddamn Club I a thing that videotape that big girl not gonna dig out or is the boy who knew she's great knock his ass out that she walked up like clean y'all look [ __ ] gonna get another talking loud today women bigger than you what we gonna do [Applause] [Music] [Applause] don't work well she stood up and was he'll like Reggie White you better think I know you didn't want no smoke with her while she stood up and picked up her ass [Applause] they got a an argument with a big girl for Sonny she gonna slap your hair to tie you're gonna be walking off well I would just say it though shoot you don't do this what's your name sweetheart look that may sound like a piece of candy she got bourbon you got a truck you gotta try that out to the lady right there with it with the glitter outfit on we go little outfit on yeah that's you with the glitter don't look surprised she like oh no you had your way with nobody to see you in here with the dupe the disco ball I got nobody go see her she got that ain't no more holler abrasion hey the great fitness dance Oh whoo we got that pansori sweat suit ladies can I ask y'all look good did they manage a blush that they bout to get it off your lading in the club did she say that the ovulation the ovulation puts the smell like Easter eggs man he's the egg guys think like a [ __ ] you'd be mad as [ __ ] at your kids don't drop the goddamn baby got my kitchen stinking nickel but I hate that condom Smith for you ever wore latex condom oh [ __ ] don't [ __ ] with him here's your [ __ ] ticket home keep you laughing [ __ ] y'all poor [ __ ] and then they got a YouTube video of him singing in the living room with 30 million views almost 30 million views that [ __ ] hate everybody except for his cat mr. kittycat may mr. Kazama talked to mr. kids mr. kid as those Blackie's were talking bad about me today I held my own though a lot of chicken wing soul stop looking at me like that being a lady you flavor heard they she built like Kevin Durant she gonna bust your ass that's what they can let's go play me for that [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] go wrap her legs around yours like a snake you could never pull out [Applause] you a terrible [ __ ] DS exactly I live in like this have been one in your purse [Music] I'll [ __ ] with this crap nobody we live man finite it's women komi oula shutouts all the finance women all over even the ones who didn't clamp you know you ain't fan but you good it to somebody you just don't know late as long as you alive you got a goddamn chance right stay alive so oh [ __ ] machinist don't believe it that's truly bills you are daddy ain't got nothing to do with it she can be ugly long as that [ __ ] work she will get somebody let me tell you something I know I'm a special tank I know actually I mean I am [ __ ] when you ain't got no haircut when we right cuz my [ __ ] don't even brewing in front no more I know [ __ ] be mad ain't taking my head on [ __ ] that you don't know the pain and when your [ __ ] grow everywhere but in the front [ __ ] D I can't my [ __ ] we're all on the sides I got the George Jefferson I left my [ __ ] grow up oh I look like my man right there with the white shirt on anything I'm saying something something you [ __ ] you take you out wigs off you look just like me who said something can't wait to take that [ __ ] off oh my god it was so hot in there lol comedy club [ __ ] oh there man you stupid people always come up to me and Chico take your head off that's what I said I'm gonna start doing any woman come up to me take your head off [ __ ] take your head off right same time I take my noggin take your zone where should it be so cold you just flip everything people do you have people running boy you're like oh [ __ ] she called me for a while now 8:40 [ __ ] what if we could do this [ __ ] to them oh whoa oh gee [Applause] hey they go skinny Keisha from water burger what's up with making chicken sandwiches ain't nobody [ __ ] with you let me tell you so next time I come over the line be tail em third eye 101 chickadees nah she cool she'll charge you for the extra barbecue sauce and nothing that's a real comfortable believe she says she weigh once well that's dough QB would never that's why you ain't here bill just like a french fry I know hey got one more goddamn time y'all got to appreciate how good our band is right now didn't make us great go outside and play for change outside of this [ __ ] they got they set up I really like they just know I don't lay everything he's naked oh thank you sir I don't know what you just said but he was like I don't know Allah see I don't know what she said I don't know I don't know what you thought so Han I love I don't get it I don't think they come fine I don't want to cut though oh please take over though I'm awaiting about liquor though yeah boys you gotta play those yeah the whole pot of greens on the stove at her house work imma let him cook one I go to the back it's you $10 she got some baked chicken here very right yeah it's still hot so you go collect all the dirt können look like one of them characters all from the root obession one of my Cartoon Network Jenny you do not wanna say hello you gieok notice the apart with you yo et bon digimon monsters I think I got six pokémon in the back right now try to be so cool I need a seat around oh [ __ ] I think I got his shirt tuck there you can see his belly going to a hookah lounge when this [ __ ] oh yeah that [ __ ] I go to a hookah lounge and they cool he didn't have money for a long time too because he got on that old gucci mane jewelry [ __ ] remember when gucci first came out for you got that Bart Simpson gucci mane you got out early to somebody you got our Liz Nega got that OJ da juiceman in this [ __ ] bricks food all right please white pants go to school what is that Oh you got a big play coming out and she gonna beat the fire you rat what you do LG your promoter yeah but I'm gonna say yeah don't let my to be at his parties he's like don't worry about if we don't get it cook [ __ ] be time to take your [ __ ] man I got a lot of walk-up attention that's why nobody you see we got a VIP over here damn right DC but do that damn show was a skating rink at the beginning of the year they turn this [ __ ] into a tax office and [ __ ] tell me hey good day taxes done turn it into a H&R Block on Jay she used to be old navy better leave that [ __ ] loan that's a real Mexican yeah you [ __ ] around you people he know Rufus we see it you think it's a game we'd be in the back of an f-150 eight man know if you guys like to keep us we're gonna see how funny you are to my cousin's Mexican gangsters is down here for real see the [ __ ] in cowboy boots the curl in the front don't say nothing to that [ __ ] I said I seen this first yeah yeah you better be careful out here check out the Hispanic people that don't speak Spanish you don't know what your family saying either they talk about how ashamed of you doing let me talk about sauce but you don't know dumb as [ __ ] look only recommend a service to my listeners that's been good to me that's why my book is the right place bet you win you get paid possessive my bookie has lab in game betting on every NFL game they got the most rewarding player in the business and for your fantasy guys out there you can even better over/under on how many fantasy points a player will score in each game it's a new season Antonio Brown is with the Raiders lady on Bella's with the Jets Odell Beckham is with Cleveland but the one thing that hasn't changed is where I'm putting my money down on all the games my book is the right place to bet on football every weekend my book it has better bonuses more profits than any other sports will appear this year the host of my first online handicap it's super contest in the first place is guaranteed $100,000 and it only cost $100 to enter double your first deposit up to $1,000 all you have to do is use the promo code 85 self show to activate the offer visit my bookie online today that's my beat oh okay I eat and don't forget to use the promo code 85 shop shoulder creating your account to activate the bonus bet when get paid that's my [ __ ] calm all your sports betting needs it be like black promise when they're trying to help a son with the whole world if you got three chicken wings and one chicken wing is gone how many do you have your stupid ass up let's make it a five chick away flashback that's 14 what a real message that way yeah well you don't sound like y'all know I don't know who makes it blue karana message in it I don't know who make the piece for the Mexican artist when y'all pull up beside a blind date once guys eights holding on a [ __ ] you got to be a cocaine to be a hispanic artist huh today that [ __ ] is too fast man I tried to do that [ __ ] one time twisted my hips too fast and hit one of them nuts my stomach started hurting just think about this [ __ ] that's I happy that's right together right every time you say a real Spanish word to Hispanic people get excited you heard him he's been paying attention he's doing good old man hey Hong he's been practicing I got done this while of BC he kissing man yes that's why I learned it but the Mexican accent is like it's the same everywhere it don't matter where you catch a Mexican that's American that they a Holmes what's up man you guys are [ __ ] funny man hey bro you know who funny in there doesn't Leong Hispanic dude when they run up on as they say they always say Chico's name or the [ __ ] I think they think is better they always like DC Carlos they do say your name [Music] my monthly chemo get it those man you wanna come over and I'm like oh yeah make it you guys doing later no hey y'all party boy it's a weird [ __ ] thing I'll be laughing [ __ ] be hitting you when you come in on the road to go to the show it [ __ ] [ __ ] wagons what you took right you should be the most hated [ __ ] in San Antonio now you act like we friends no I don't want that beef I know you told us he didn't even would like hey be my little introduce me to would you want me to break what that's up with his [ __ ] like what do you do it at situation that was a scary [ __ ] out man you know Haney had to do you like that dc-dc bruh he didn't he didn't have to take you to debt that was [ __ ] up he was dead and wrong he serious dude that was dead as wrong in the crazy part about it hey you could have taught somebody but your battery was dead you killed it this AC do you think my boys beat series how many how many how many couples we got in the building just a couple if y'all gonna be say hello together make some noise if living so together well is that you were here with your lady she treats you real good make some noise no I don't believe it you lose how about a [ __ ] that's proud of his vomit baby proud of you wanna make some noise that's right okay fellas you know we bout to do this summer wait we bout the break back fingering ooh we bout the ladies got the [ __ ] so we got [Music] don't support this lady be looking at [ __ ] finger the hold on he liked those ranges right so y'all better stop clapping if something a puss is don't nobody want to touch a better way like what the [ __ ] happened to your [ __ ] you fell off your bike meet Hannah [ __ ] Anthony she fell off her bike yeah you ain't never seen that person unless somebody stepped on oh man that'll be hilarious he'd be like what happened to your [ __ ] oh I lost my [ __ ] at a skateboarding accident when I was 14 I fell out a tree there's no such thing as an ugly [ __ ] they are very unique they are like snowflakes they're unique special in they all the way look look a baby that's a laugh trust me trust me yes yes and there are bees meet be delicious yes yes I don't know who told you that a puss ahead to look good to be good that's the stupidest [ __ ] I know you can't judge a book by it's cover man give it that cover might be [ __ ] up but the pages your [ __ ] right you know why ma'am because the [ __ ] who wrote the book didn't draw to cover you kidding he gotta eat guy yeah that went over your head cookie and a head right you could talk to any man in here some of the best [ __ ] you ever have with many summative long hands lips on it yeah yeah like lettuce if you do like this and it's anything hanging down yeah I'm talking to you if you got anything anything town talking to you I don't give a [ __ ] if it's just there one limb sometimes we be there one lip there's the door Oh lopsided lip shut out all the lopsided lip [ __ ] ladies in the buildin we love ya ladies don't ever be insecure about your [ __ ] it is [ __ ] that's what it is oh yeah scavenger hunt then I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] right would you ever see that one shot her she said my god yeah yes ma'am it's true when you go order some nuggets all them goddamn nuggets don't look alike they still be good yeah especially when you wanted some nuggets that's we came for the Nuggets give a [ __ ] up the nugget is crooked it's a nugget you could disagree all you want to man she's like no I'm vegan I don't even eat Nuggets you know what you doing here no no you gotta hang Akutan I got with the average man I'll give a [ __ ] what they look like it's more about what they smell like right always want to talk about some stinking I don't even want to talk about that it's some good book there's some good smell of course I hit it don't nobody ever talk about that nobody you ever had that [ __ ] smell so good you and you walk off yeah don't you stop don't smell you have to go back and smell it again like now this is what is this this is not just [ __ ] this must be fresh this bus ain't now cuz this should smell like I do too late yes let me tell you something good smelly [ __ ] you don't [ __ ] at the same time you know really go steal it well you know really you know [Applause] you gotta you know we gotta do more research as to why because the woman you know female body is real intricate you know y'all pH balances be all she be everywhere better stop she's gotta stop wearing them silk panties ladies you [ __ ] up your ph balance now your [ __ ] smell like cosmo you can't be out here like that i'm scott and [ __ ] wanna [ __ ] you ph bandits yeah yeah became to be something sure you call you back and so you know that you learn about that ph balance especially when you [ __ ] the hotel to pretty like i can use i can't use that hotel so that's gonna throw my PA I'm so glad God gave them the pussy's birth [ __ ] that never figure out how to clean they [ __ ] you got to be a goddamn scientist to clean the vagina do you need some lemonade some baking soda oh [ __ ] me my pH man is off drink some water that ain't gonna do [ __ ] you just happen Emma just a white boy in the back [ __ ] with the sound let's see how they like that [ __ ] is amazing ladies I think all y'all know that that's why you bother with it y'all use it as a negotiating tool and all the [ __ ] gotta play the game we ain't got no choice you can't just show up and what happened oh no listen you were the last [ __ ] okay you [ __ ] gotta go get that goddamn urgent care got that dis Church discharged but we love y'all ladies that's why you know y'all get to play the game with us like y'all playing we all know whether or not you gonna give a man some [ __ ] in seconds and then from that point on he got to prove to you that he worked a [ __ ] you was gonna give him anyway they ain't gonna clap for that only the confident one there you go that's why you you the rest of man here playing that game right now I can't clap Ingo by the rest of these wings [Applause] but once you but once you find love man that's beautiful look she go what are you saying right and what have you a raggedy no y'all don't even ladies y'all don't even get away with being raggedy no good women yaojin cuz you gotta push it hard to bother with [ __ ] you can just that's why I'm fighting for [ __ ] intuition though because we need male intuition I wish God would give us some when we meet a woman no matter how this is not safe no but you gotta I'm talking about before you even get to that point arena I want to know when you're in the club and she got that [ __ ] forever 21 dress on lookin all sexy and you walk up on it but I up wait a minute let me tell you something it's a [ __ ] with a pistol waiting outside your house my intuition told me [ __ ] get your crazy ass on somewhere and I feel roaches let me tell you something my intuition is telling me there's some roaches somewhere around then I don't know it's on me Oh ma'am I got to go it ain't the same as they as though you just [ __ ] I'm gonna tell me tell you something if I can sit on your refrigerator [ __ ] [ __ ] what I'm not [ __ ] with you [ __ ] you ain't in college [ __ ] you have a college or refrigerator right I got real [ __ ] answer I can look at a [ __ ] and tell if a [ __ ] live in her living room 3 Capri Suns who is drinking these 3 capris alright lotta y'all got a hard wash draggin your bear from right now ain't tell nobody rag harder than getting a chicken sandwich your Popeyes you can't even fool bout a popeyes chicken sandwich it ain't a goddamn yeah I told you the white dudes ain't got no real good [ __ ] my bags got some [ __ ] there to get you home that shitty good jumping off the Popeyes menu like that and if you got if you got answer reflux that [ __ ] coming back up that Popeye it's gonna be at the worst moment to you gonna be sitting down watching the movie full answer refill up that [ __ ] go oh yeah watch it keep going out too but the reef the reason why I ask was was where the couples with like who married in here we got some married people in here how long y'all been married I know y'all been married right here hmm a is one what's the best part of our marriage going to sleep that [ __ ] don't even know since the border being [ __ ] that's the best part I don't even got to think man no no no man in this vision believe you cuz you name two things that [ __ ] hatin the family man that's a roommate yeah yeah walk about each other what's up what was that what you later right yeah well you know I don't look at [Applause] [Music] the hose the hose the holes is love is a beautiful thing man love is a beautiful thing and if you push you know because love is such a beautiful thing because love is such a beautiful thing I got ideas mister 85 some show this upon cans for all different types of [ __ ] but this is a place where love is distributed all around every time so I want somebody you love just touch them right now just push your hands on them then nobody in this section move what the [ __ ] did y'all not [ __ ] hear me put your hands on just push your hands on them if you in here with somebody you look white lady touched a black lady back that [ __ ] black lady is touching you and you didn't [ __ ] touch her back you better touch him for we do it you [ __ ] touch her but love is such a beautiful thing that sometimes you're gonna awesome all Flint's sometimes you get a ring when love is a beautiful thing I don't worry about where I got the ring from its sant'antonio I got it from a [ __ ] on the east side but this ring is significant and it means love and I think somebody wants to express their love to somebody tonight oh holy holy is somebody in here somebody here that wanna express that what about [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey you said no got there me I spent a lot of money right here I mean I appreciate you guys [Music] [Music] [Applause] come on now put it on [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] that's why you only ate one we service all cuz if she would have said no he would uh flip this be in which way gotta worry about that she making a day to pay for the wedding cuz they got money pay for the winner they got paid for the win yeah hey [ __ ] I have a good time tonight I don't believe so there that's forever I want to see already had a good time tonight cuz if yeah I really had a good time they Yahoo yeah I'm going to show it let me see what's you thinking she's confident [Music] Oh [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: The 85 South Comedy Show

Views: 1,498,691

Rating: 4.8885579 out of 5

Keywords: nigerian, comedy, dcyoungfly, karlousmiller, mtv2, wildnout, podcast, chicobean, kevinhart, karlous miller, 85 south show san antonio 2019, 85 south show big girl roast, shes confident, dc young fly roast session, chico bean, chico bean and karlous miller, chico bean fight, chico bean talking spit, funny, comedy show, nigerian movies, jokes, black comedy podcast, laugh

Id: xc2vA6Q9DCI

Length: 64min 31sec (3871 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 06 2019