Saint Bernadette's Apparitions - And Her Later Life

the morning of February the 11th was very cold as Bernadette her sister Toinette and a friend Shan a body better known as balloon left the Cassiar to go and find sticks for firewood the girls dress very much alike in peasant style dresses and aprons wore shawls around their shoulders and their hair was covered with brightly patterned kerchiefs Bernadette for extra warmth wore a white hooded cape they walked down the loda petit Foss past the old chateau fort and made for the woods crossing the Roman bridge they followed the river garv until they came to the Robair meadow here was an old rock massabielle and although the girls had no liking for the area they had been told that they would find good burning matter there and also wash up in a cavern formed by the rocks bones which would fetch enough money to buy the whole subaru family a meal to reach the cavern however meant wading through the shallow savvy mill stream which joined the GAR Bernadette because of her asthmatic condition lagged behind by the time she reached them Toinette Ambala womb had already taken off their sabers and stockings and thrown them to the other side of the stream Bernadette called after them wait wait for me the girls paid no heed as they stepped gingerly through the water but balloons shivered and cried out oh it's so cold to Annette's screech oh dear is freezing Bernadette stood hesitating to a net throw some big stones in the stream then I won't have to get my feet wet you jolly will do the same as we had to said balloon knot on the other side the two girls dried their feet on their petticoats quickly replaced their stockings and severs and then ran off together laughing Bernadette left by herself thought for a moment then kicked off her sebbers and began removing her stockings hardly was the first one off when there was a murmur followed by the sound of rushing wind she looked around but all was still not a movement from the trees removing the other stocking she was about to step into the water when the noise came again just as if a storm a-brewing she looked all around again and then towards the cave branches of a wild rose bush growing beneath an oval niche in the rock was shaking violently and the niche itself was ringed with light inside stood a young lady I must be dreaming Bernadette rubbed her eyes no the ladies really they're feeling frightened Bernadette dropped to her knees automatically pulled her rosary beads from her pocket and went to make the sign of the Cross but for some reason her arms felt heavy and she couldn't then the lady made the sign of the Cross and Bernadette was able to do so and she began to save the Rosary at this point the two girls leading the sticks made their way to the cabin well just look at her kneeling there saying her prayers why we do all the work said an angry balloon when I did an ad it said to Annette urgently receiving no reply they picked up some pebbles and threw them towards the kneeling figure some hit her shoulder but Bernadette remained motionless do you think she's dead whispered tronic she said wait don't be stupid said balloon she'd be lying down if she was at this moment Bernadette stood up picked up her belongings cross the stream and join the girls why it's as warm as dishwater she said as she stepped out of the stream quickly replacing stockings and sebbers she gathered up a bundle of sticks and ran gaily on ahead she didn't return by where the meadow but followed a steep winding track up the side of massabielle tone head and balloon looked at each other in amazement Bernadette Trinette called they caught up with her what happened to you tentative walk made you say the Rosary there Bernadette smiled it's good to pray anywhere balloon wasn't satisfied yes but why there Bernadette continued walking did you see anything she asked the other to know we saw nothing not in the grotto a little lady a companion shook their heads in the Wilderland oh she was so beautiful she had a long white dress with a white veil over her head she had a lovely white rosary in her hands there was gold chain between the beads Oh her feet on each foot there was a golden rose why I said the prayers she ran the beads through her fingers but her lips didn't move but when I said to Gloria she joined in as soon as I finished the Rosary she disappeared oh I do hope she comes back again at the end of this disclosure all three busy with their own thoughts remain silent until they'd reached the cash oh then Bernadette said imploringly balloon tonette please promise you won't tell anyone about the lovely little lady the loom was already running off to her own home Bernadette raised her voice balloon promise then taking her sister's arms they went through the heavy door and you turn it but this proved too difficult for Toinette and that evening she told her mother although for her trouble she received a spanking and Bernadette was forbidden ever to go to massabielle again-- it wasn't as simple as that however from Sunday the 14th Bernadette told some of her friends sadly I feel that I must go to my Sabeel but mama and papa have forbidden me the girls weren't prepared to let a little thing like that stop some excitement and they wasted no time in seeking out Francois and Louise Subaru and tested them until they wearily gave in after hitting a small flask with holy water from church Bernadette and half-a-dozen of her friends were off in a flash over the top of massabielle down the rough zigzag track which a few days before Bernadette had said nimbly climbed now she ran down it at an amazing speed by the time her companions reached the bottom she was already on her knees they looked at their friend they looked at each other then shrugging their shoulders they too knelt on the pebbly ground and joined her in the Rosary within a few minutes Bernadette stopped praying and softly said she's here he's here one of her friends pushed the flask into her hands come on sprinkle the holy water might be the devil Bernadette rose slowly to her feet took a few paces forward and through some of the holy water towards the niche and commanded if you are the devil go if you come from God stay Bernadette's anxious face lit up oh please stay returning to her place she handed back the flask sank to her knees and then gazed at the niche look ronette said look at her face it's like wax balloon took this up her eyes look at her eyes and the other girls chorus she's dead no she's not turn it Kryten them but she must be ill that's how she looked last time quick quickly go get her mom are too frightened to argue the Loom ran to the Cassiar while another went to the nearby Savi mill for help Antron Niccolo the Miller was first on the scene and lifting the slight figure in his strong arm and with the rest of the girls in tow he carried her back to his house when he put it down she regained consciousness and the color flowed back into her cheeks everyone assembled in the kitchen a few minutes later that a Cheryl balloon led Bernadette's distraught mother through the door they were followed by the dignified figure of Madame me a a wealthy lady for whom Louise Subaru worked when she saw her daughter's safe and sound and looking well into the bargain her anger got the better of her and taking the girl by the shoulders she shook her violently madami intervened stop it Louise stop it at once I don't think your girl's making this up and what's more next time she wants to go to massabielle I'll go with her and so she did and her dressmaker friend went to it was on Thursday February the 18th and Bernadette knelt in the cabin between the two adults one held a lighted candle the other writing equipment the rosary beads slipped one by one through Bernadette's fingers suddenly she was still she's here pen on paper were thrust into bleonard s hands and she was urged to go and ask the lady her name and what she wanted she did but the paper remained blank the women stared at the niche and saw nothing on the way home Bernadette explained and not knowing what to call the apparition use the word a Caro meaning the thing when I walked towards her Akira went further back into the niche and then she was standing on the ground right in front of me I asked her to write down those things you wanted to know but she only smiled and then she said to me what I have to say need not be put down in writing will you do me the favor of coming here each day for the next two weeks the favor Madame he explained but what did you say I said yes after I've asked permission of my parents that is and then she said I do not promise to make you happy in this world but in the next naturally enough when Louise heard about this latest episode she was simply furious you're not to go near that place again do you hear me it's bad enough being the poorest family in law without you adding to the misery people are saying you're crazy but mama I must go I promised a Caro Louise through our hands in resignation which Bernadette took as a cent Sunday the 21st turned out to be a long and tiring day for the young girl accompanied by her aunts bazzill and Bernard she set off earlier than usual to keep her appointment it went without incident and although jostled and questioned by many present she said nothing whatever went on between her and her lady remained a secret but the day was only just beginning for Bernadette when she reached the cash Oh Louise sent her daughter straight out again a bit been one of the curates wanted to speak to her after lunch as was customary the family went to Vespers but today there was something more when the congregation came out of church Monsieur Jacques ma the Chief of Police immaculate in his well fitting uniform barred the way he was very much the imposing figure he looked taking no notice of anyone else he accosted Bernadette well you kindly step along to my office I won't keep you long ignoring the shots of the bills that followed him he marched blended it along the street and ushered her into his office sitting down at a huge brown desk he idly lived through some letters after what he considered a suitable time he took a piece of official paper and with pen poised asked what's your name Bernadette Soubirous Monsieur how old are you 14 going on 15 what and you're still at school in the infant's class no right I want every detail about this business at massabielle and our mind no lies because I'm writing it all down well Monsieur a lady comes to see me what lady how old is she I don't know but she's a very beautiful lady about 17 or 18 I suppose is your lady from Lourdes oh no Monsieur more beautiful than any lady I've ever seen in Lourdes how can that be there are plenty of lovely ladies in Lourdes now anyway go on what did the lady where she had a long white dress with a blue sash that came down to the bottom there was a white veil over her head and this lady does she stand still oh no she moves gracefully her arms her body her head and she smiles and she speaks - how is it that you hear her and others don't then touching her heart Bernadette answered it's in here she's weeks no and she gives you messages and with all there well some of them I tell people but but the others are for me alone oh come on now repeat them to me I want to know everyone I'm sorry Monsieur I can't tell the secret ones I will not disobey the lady jackhammer slammed his fist down on the desk tell me or I'll send you straight to prison Bernadette smiled be sure the bars are strong this year otherwise I might escape jekima is face turned purple all right I'll read back your statement then I must sign it and this lady of yours is about 20 to 22 years old no Monsieur I told you she is about 17 or 18 she wears a blue dress or the white sash no no no Monsieur I did not say that her dress is white and the sash blue you said white no blue the ladies stand still like a statue in church Monsieur Monsieur you have not written down what I said by this time Giacomo had had enough he dismissed Bernadette and told her not to go to massabielle again-- defying his orders Bernadette went to the grotto the next day but to her dismay the lady did not put in an appearance Bernadette was not disappointed On February the 23rd and neither were they hundred or more onlookers when at 6:00 a.m. she arrived at the grotto with her aunt there not Bernadette knelt for about an hour and during this time she smiled bowed and from time to time made the beautiful sign of the Cross for which she was renowned as before when it was all over she returned home thoughtful and quiet the following day those present at the grotto were in the region of 200 they watched spellbound many were overcome by the beauty of her in trance this and then without warning she began to cry this time she did not ignore those who questioned her with tears streaming down her face she told them the lady said penance penance penance pray for sinners jacquimo was now really put up by the increasing numbers going to massabielle so he summoned the entire Constabulary of Lord hoping to frighten the followers of Bernadette Soubirous away but he reckoned without Mohandas present on this Thursday silently they stood in a large semi circle around the grotto the object of their attention was in her usual position but today she surprised them all by suddenly moving along on her knees over the pebbly ground she went towards the Savi midstream hesitated changed direction and made for the garb then she stopped unsure of what to do next stared up at the niche and still on her knees shuttled back towards the Kevin after looking all around it she went to a corner and began stretching the ground like an animal and then she seemed to vomit when she turned towards the people her face was covered with mud Bernadette later explained to her family and friends this time the lady was very solemn she told me to go and drink at the spring and wash there well I didn't really know what she meant you see she speaks to me in our own dialect and so I thought she might have confused spring with Brooke so that's why I went to the river but she called me back no not the garb please so I looked towards her and she repeated what I was to do point it to a corner of the cave and edit and eat some of the plums so that's why I was digging in the corner there was a drop of muddy water and that's what I drank and wash my face with I also add some blades of grass like she said that made me sick the crowds feeling that they'd been duped quickly dispersed not one of them noticed the thin trickle of water welling its way up through the muddy patch where Bernadette had been digging [Music] the next day Bernadette went to the grotto as usual but the lady did not come the day after this she did and the crowds were there again in full force after the ecstasy she told the people the lady told me to kiss the ground as an act of penance for sinners three days later with her aunt's basil and Bernard either side of her Bernadette made for the presbytery there in his rose garden and with his bravery in his hand set the parish priest a babe pyramid what do you want who are you Bernadette Bernadette Soubirous well what do you want the lady what lady the lady who visits me at massabielle you mean a lady from lured no I don't know who she is but she's not from lured no what's her name I don't know she never told me she said to tell you she wants people to come in procession what before you say anything else Bernadette popped a curtsey and with her two outs left with some speed the trio had not gone very far when Bernadette stopped oh my goodness I didn't give him all the message it wasn't until evening that Bernadette plucked up the courage to return this time it was even harder the Curris were with the air bay nevertheless she spoke out clearly masala puree I forgot to tell you the lady said she wants a chapel built the good eBay's face turned scarlet do you have the money for this chapel you tell your lady if she wants a chapel she better give you the money Bernadette curtsied was about to leave his vice stopped her oh wait you'll tell this lady of yours I want to sign him tell her to make the wild rose bloom in the cavern and and find out the name of your precious lady the lady had asked Bernadette to come every day for two weeks those two weeks were up and Bernadette stopped going to the grotto but the people didn't they went in procession carrying lighted candles they said the Rosary and they kissed the ground from the spring now directed into a basin by the Warriors they washed drank and filled bottles belief in the apparitions also showed in the increased numbers at mess and confession during this time a man by the name of Buddha yet regained the sight in his blind eye when he based a piece of moist earth from the spring on it and a two-year-old child just on buho dying from consumption convulsions was instantaneously cured when his mother dipped him in the water and so 20 days passed but though not without incident the lady was doing things her way which were far more significant than making a wild rose bloom [Music] ma ma ma ma Bernadette whispered shaking her mother quickly limbs good once what this are yes yes we must go we are really Louise and Francois crawled out of bed left the Cassiar and accompanied their daughter on the long bleak walk to the other side of town it was March the 25th the Feast of the Annunciation and massabielle even at this unearthly hour of 5:00 a.m. was crowded everyone firmly believed the lady would come today thus when Bernadette arrived excitement filled the air Bernadette knelt and started to pray after some time while still entranced she stood took a few steps forward stopped stretched her arms in front of her and then regaining consciousness and to the astonishment of her parents and the onlookers she pushed her way through and ran over the tiny Saviano bridge crossing the gaff by the old roman bridge along the deserted road by the wood she split up the stony path to the village past the Church of some Pierre and then she was at the priests house rushing past the housekeeper who opened the door she burst into the room where the abbe was sitting and without any greeting panted I am the Immaculate Conception what where are your manners who said you could come in unannounced bobbing a curtsey bernadette began again but yet look her hey the lady said I am the Immaculate Conception the Abbes face drained of color what on earth are you talking about the lady mom pen she told me her name then opening her arms wide Bernadette place them across her chest lifted her eyes towards the ceiling and breathed I am the Immaculate Conception you asked the obey was quiet enough oh yes I kept on asking until she told me I put out my arms toward her and implored please please madam what is your name the lady's smile faded and she became serious she stretched her arms towards the ground and brought them up and crossed them over her chest and then raised her eyes to the sky and said I am the Immaculate Conception then she disappeared [Music] two weeks after her momentous visit to the presbytery Bernadette was reunited with her lady this time the local doctor witnessed the ecstasy he reported the incident to a bay Panama well that young Subaru girl she held a lighted candle in her right hand and rosary beads in her left her features were really deathlike then I noticed that the candle had slipped downward and the flame licked her fingers for a full 10 minutes I timed it the amazing thing is you know there's no trance that can resist the agony of fire by examined her after and there wasn't a trace of a burn and I thought to myself I'll try a little experiment and I took a lighted candle from someone and touched it to her hand she screamed I said why do you want to burn me well if I hadn't seen it for myself I'd never have believed it after this day Bernadette stopped going to the grotto but life remained troublesome she was pestered continually by people who are silly questions and offered money for blessings which Bernadette angrily refused a school the situation was different but just as uncomfortable the girls were embarrassed in her company and her teacher sister hua Zhu treated her with contempt but only one thing matter to Bernadette her first communion she spent every possible moment learning her catechism on journal third the feast of Corpus Christi she achieved her ambition and after this she was enrolled as a child of Mary on being asked what gave you most joy receiving guarding Communion or talking to the Blessed Virgin she replied I don't know the two things go together and can't be separated all I know is that I was happy both times the mayor of Lourdes was having ideas of his own around this time he planned to capitalize on the newly discovered spring water and turn lured into a spa resort he was simply furious that the way people were bathing and taking we're bottles of water without paying a thing so using as an excuse the excitable scenes at the grotto and that the water might be harmful to people's health he had massabielle barricaded and closed to the public no sooner were the barricades in place then the townspeople pulled them down but just as quickly the Jean Dom's head them up again and so it went on but on July 16th the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel the barricades were well and truly in place Bernadette sitting alone in a meadow during the early evening of that day suddenly felt her heart flutter it's the lady she's calling me springing to her feet she ran towards the town halfway there she stopped I don't want to tell anyone I want to be alone with her unfortunately for Bernadette some ardent followers have been keeping watch on her and now seeing her haste quickly spread the news from house to house Bernadette's going to the grotto with Bernadette's change of mind came a change of direction and instead of taking her usual short route she followed the one used at the time of the first apparition when together with balloonman Toinette she went to gather firewood past the old chateau fort across the tiny savvy mill bridge and onto the Robair meadow crowds followed in her wake and as she knelt she motioned them to stay well away this they did accepting her mother who knelt just a little way behind her daughter Bernadette looked towards the niche away in the distance but only the upper part showed about the barricades her distressed gaze searched the area and came to rest on the bank of the gaff near where it joins the savvy stream Bernadette rubbed her eyes just as she had on February the 11th the silent reverent gathering had formed a semicircle around her saw the kneeling girl's face turned pale and her skin go taut while the brown eyes widened and became glazed the lady Bernadette told her family later that night was more dazzling and delicious than ever before the golden roses on her feet were brilliant and her veil and hair flowed freely her smile was more loving I went to say my rosary but the lady put her fingers to her lips as if to say be still be quiet you'll have plenty of time for that when I've gone night had set in and still Bernadette stared rapturously at the beauty of her lady then slowly very slowly the dazzling brightness faded so that the girl was hardly aware of it she raised her hand to wave then there was nothing only the darkness of night she knelt on a little longer reassuring herself that her lovely lady had gone then slowly dragging herself to her feet she staggered towards her mother Louise took her sorrowful child in her arms gently covering her with a warm cloak no words were necessary she could tell from her daughter's tear-filled eyes that the lady would never return a.b a.b ramal was a formidable character strong looking thick said a man whose expensive girth made him appear above average height his bald head accentuated a long rectangular face and what little hair remained was white and stood up in Tufts around the side and back of his head when someone ruffled him his deep-set eyes were as blazing fire and he had a voice and temper to match usually his movements was slow and ponderous but today this man in his late forties paced up and down like a caged animal frequently glancing of the clock a gentle knock on his study door brought him to a halt in spite of himself he thought rage welling up inside him as sitting down he called come in then making an effort he said to the girl who entered how are you my child come on Sudan Bernadette had never really recovered from her early encounters with this gruff man and now she set stiffly on the edge of the chair him I want to ask you one or two questions the peas answer me as simply and truthfully as you can now then this lady what did you say her name was tell me again she said mozilla clay I am the Immaculate Conception oh come come girl no one could say any words like that someone must have put the idea into your head tell the truth now who was it no one Mesilla Kouhei I never heard it before you mean you made it up no no Mon Pere the lady said it are you probably heard it at school I expect sister hua Zhu told you Bernadette shook her head but do you know what it means Bernadette said quietly trying to think then no I have no idea and then I'll tell you it means this on December the 8th four years ago the Holy Father proclaimed to the whole world the doctrine that the Blessed Virgin Mary from the very first moment of her conception in her mother's womb was preserved from the stain of original sin the privilege and a grace granted by God on account of the merits of Jesus Christ is that clear - I'm sorry Mon Pere I still don't understand Oh Bernadette why don't you confess that you lie and then we can all go back and lead normal peaceful lives again how can I say a thing like that when I'm telling the truth the man felt tortured but pulling himself together he stood up and went towards the door very well my child you may go with a sigh of resignation he closed the door after her this had been his last attempt to get to the truth he already questioned sister bazoo and she said there was nothing about the Immaculate Conception in the school syllabus neither had she taught it and the carissa showed him that they'd too had never told Bernadette anything about it if this were a hoax why didn't she just say that she saw Mary as a mother of God or even the Blessed Virgin but to call the lady by a name that she'd never heard what even understood another thought struck him if this were the mother of God then he was failing to carry out her commands after all she had answered his requests given her name and then there were plenty of signs the booboo child miraculously cured and dr. Dores conversion since the candle episode he had certainly declared her to be an authentic visionary the abbey decided to act but all his attempts to have the guards removed and the barricades pulled down failed miserably and he realized he would have to see the bishop at nearby table a few days later at the Bishop's residence the abbey reported on the chain of events of the grotto well we've certainly acted wisely in keeping our noses out of this business said the bishop and may I say my dear Perry mal how much I admire you for keeping clear of it all I own lordship in my appointment with you today was not just a report what has been happening but really to tell you how much my conscience is bothering me I think it's time the church did something about it this is a curious change of attitude parama I must confess my lord that in the beginning I thought the girl was quite mental and then a good actress but now I have my doubts every time I look into those eyes of hers I'm convinced that she is being used by God just who is this Bernadette Soubirous well she's a common lowborn girl my lord very plain features never a trace of color in her face but those eyes having once looked into them you'll never forget I don't know then they seem to haunt you my parishioners are filled with uncertainty the people on John Tom Ray are at each other's throats please my lord I beg you call together a commission to investigate all the happenings that lured ah said the bishop the plans for an Episcopal Commission have already been completed but I hope I'll never have give the order to go ahead III don't understand the grotto is barred isn't it well then how do you expect a commission to examine the cavern on the spring now you tell me that but surely you can command the local dignitaries to open it up never I'll not interfere in this matter the Emperor knows about this disturbance let him do something about it but surely my lord you know the Emperor's feelings he'll not put himself all the relations between church and state in jeopardy I've heard it said that his only comment is these people must manage their own affairs I quite agree with him there's nothing I can do the bishop rang a bell to summon his manservant indicating that the interview was at an end and then he delivered his parting words the Commission will assemble when the Emperor commands that the barriers be removed and the grotto opened to the public and only then if this lady is the mother of God then she can quite easily overcome an emperor if she isn't then the grotto will stay closed and that'll be an end to the matter Napoleon the third emperor of France had already acted he had send a message to the chief of police at lure telling him to leave massabielle unguarded sure that the people would pull down the barricades themselves and thus saved the face of the civil authorities but for some reason they hadn't done so determined to be rid of the matter once and for all the Emperor sent a message by telegraph it read access to the grotto west of Lourdes is to be immediately granted to the public the barricades were down at last the Bishop of table Monsignor Rojas surprised everyone when in a pastoral letter he verified that provisions and healings at Lourdes was supernatural at the same time pointing out that unless money was provided the lady's wishes would remain unfulfilled after this money poured in from all over the world and in less than two weeks two million francs had reached the bishop who immediately appointed Abed perumal to administer the building of a chapel the municipal authority has sold him the land and caverns of massabielle and building began the Abbaye also became the self-appointed protector of Bernadette he unearthed many plots to put her in prison and on one occasion he quashed an attempt to have her committed to a mental asylum with Bernadette the whole Subaru family came under his wing he had to move from the Cassiar to more comfortable quarters at a nearby mill and here Bernadette had a room to herself even so she was still plagued by visitors and after two years the Abbaye persuaded the sisters who taught her of the hospice to take her as a boarder about this time sister Vasu was recalled to the mother house at NAVAIR Bernadette worked hard and although study wasn't easy for her she progressed so much so that when the bishop inquired after her and their pyramid said my lord she has grown up into a very fine young lady all the rough characteristics are gone and everything about her develops in an outstanding way towards the end of her fourth year she received one of many visits from the abbe a now he looked with great love and affection at the tranquil girl who sat facing him Bernadette are you happy what do you intend doing with your life yes Monsieur lacunae I'm quite happy perhaps I could take a job as a maid in one of the big houses in the town Oh Bernadette do you realize what you're saying don't you understand what the result of the commission means it is judged that Mary the immaculate mother of God appeared to you eighteen times at the grotto of massabielle why at this moment all the information on papers regarding the investigation are with our Holy Father in Rome how could you possibly imagine yourself out in the world hasn't it occurred to you that your name could go down in history and be remembered after you died oh no Monsieur surely this cannot be My dear you are happy enough living among the sisters wouldn't you like to be one of them and stay with them for good oh no Mon Pere I'm not good enough for that I'm far better suited to working in the kitchen I'm quite good at peeling vegetables you know I want you to give this a lot of thought Bernadette but of your own free will you must choose it Bernadette did think and pray and finally decided to join the community of the sisters of NAVAIR as a nun because of her continuing poor health it was to be two years before she left Lord forever the journey to the mother house at NAVAIR took several weeks on arrival she was greeted by the Mother Superior Josephine embarr who was accompanied by another nun tell me said mother embarr what is your name I forgotten Bernadette Soubirous Madame la Superior she replied indicating the other woman mother embarr said this is sister Vasu mistress of the novices from now on you'll be in her care trying hard to conceal our distaste for the girl the other nuns simply said we are acquainted with one another well now what name should we call you asked the Mother Superior Bernadette look blank well you certainly don't think we'll call you Bernadette do sis sister Vasu acidly wait 'no mother embarr interrupted what's the name of your godmother it's aunt bernarde madam oh good that settles it you should be known as sister marie-bernarde and so Bernadette Soubirous started her life as a postulant and was swallowed up in the community life of the convent of San Judah no there [Music] Bernadette suffered all her life a cholera epidemic and the famine which followed in its wake when she was but a toddler left her permanently weak and so she remained for the rest of her 35 years frequent bouts of asthma were further aggravated by the deplorable conditions of the Kesho and Bernadette spent much time in her bed at the convent in NAVAIR it was no different there was no relief from the arduous day's work required by the strict discipline and the effects of the early years of malnutrition gradually took their toll her wasted body developed tuberculosis and the slow decaying of her bones resulted in excruciating pain and she became easily exhausted after only the lightest of tasks the lady had said I do not promise to make you happy in this world but in the next her bed in the infirmary of Sashadhar convent was never long without his occupant and this caused her superior to say half jokingly one day what are you doing in bed you lazy little thing why dear mother I am doing my work and what is your work mayor asked it is to be ill these words can be a great comfort to the thousands of sick and handicapped who annually visit lured theirs is a sublime vocation often discovered at the shrine itself so many find new hope in the realization that like Bernadette they do have a use in life a lady has something to say to everyone who visits a shrine but so few give her the chance Clarke moments are rare and it is all too easy to become swept up in a round of crowded activities and excursions yet time can be found after the torchlight procession vast crowds go to the grotto and say good night to our lady and then return to their hotels at the grotto all is still and tranquil the Pyramid of candles flickers and splutters and the fast-flowing garv lose its voice trees rustle and the night air brush the face in a pool embrace here in the candle glow are seen the example of young and old alike some kneel with outstretched arms while others stand mesmerised gazing at the niche others sit side-by-side on the seats under the rock of massabielle for an all-night vigil it is at times like this when without distraction one can more easily feel the presence of the Immaculate Mother of God it is easier to realize how selfish we are or how full of pride greed and so many other emotions which rule our lives then our lady's words really begin to make their full impression penance penance penance pray for poor sinners this was the only message Bernadette directed to the crowds who were there during the apparitions it is the message of lured there is no other it was as the result of her actions during the ninth apparition that Bernadette was taken by many to be a charlatan what else were the hundreds of onlookers to think they saw her on her knees kissing the rough pibbly ground scratching away at the earth eating grass and smearing her face with muddy water with the flowing of the spring however the importance of penance was grasped by many and the people began imitating Bernadette's actions and so on the rough pibbly stage of a disused cavern the penitential phase began in lured a phase which continues to the present day pilgrims kneel and pray in front of the niche and quite unashamedly kissed the ground before large audiences they also clamp around the side of a mountain following the Stations of the Cross a timely reminder of the sufferings Mary's son endured to save us but the pinions most dreaded in Lourdes is the bath during the pilgrimage season hundreds go into the bars daily excepting that is necessary to kill for ours strip almost naked in front of strangers and then to be dipped into breath taking a cold water that has already been used by numerous others before them adding to the discomfort clothing has to be dragged back arm to dripping wet bodies one person said it really is true humiliation when you know that so many people have been in there before you with all manner of different diseases you just put your trust completely in god that you won't catch anything it's a real penance praiseworthy though these voluntary penances are they should not distract us from the essential practice of penance found in our daily lives it is an obvious fact that none of us need go looking for penance troubles pain partake in justice they're all part of our common lot and each day brings its share of distasteful and hurts and tasks but they need not be wasted and it is in this respect that Bernadette's example matters most never once did she ribble or complain against God never did she try to justify herself she accepted everything always seeing in each situation God's will for her in the convent at NAVAIR she was heard to say I would rather lie sick on my bed than be a Queen seated on a throne and all another occasion if by lying ill in bed for a day I can say of a sinner then I would willingly spend the rest of my life there people when in Lourdes carry out Our Lady's command to do penance the same goes for prayer too no matter where one goes beard in the domain or while walking through the town people of all ages carry or even wear rosary beads in each of the 18 apparitions Our Lady appeared with rosary beads over her arm and Bernadette said her rosary that the Rosary was recited is not perhaps so significant as the fact that Bernadette was being encouraged to pray this helped to pray is so necessary in our hectic lives very few of us pray regularly foremost it is no easy task one pilgrim to lured some duck quite candidly what we all feel at some time or other to pray is the hardest thing in the world and the most tiring it's very difficult isn't it there are times when I feel there is a starvation my mind won't function at all well we're in good company for it is common knowledge that after many years as a nun Bernadette never became proficient of meditation but the prayer to which she remained faithful and which aided her along the road to sanctity was none other than the one taught her by Our Lady the simple rosary said with recollection and love once Mary had delivered her message for the world and given examples of how it was to be carried out her work was done and she revealed her name in the remaining visions she and Bernadette simply took pleasure in being together possibly during these last encounters this backward girl was being prepared by the mother of God for the first meeting with her son in the Eucharist and this Bernadette did when she made her first communion on handing over her young servant to her son Jesus Mary faded into the background just as she does during the best sacrament procession there can be no mistaking the excitement this event generates in the domain each afternoon the loud pealing of bells from the Basilica tarr indicates that our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament is on his way from the grotto Mary steps discreetly aside the thousands who have accepted her invitation to come to Lourdes she now hands over to her son just as she did Bernadette as the procession starts so do the hosannas and the songs of praise but among the throngs of voices others can be heard Lord that I may hear Lord that I may see Lord we believe increase our faith only say the word and I shall be healed the applause eases to a hush when the procession reaches rosary square who can tell what will happen at the blessing of the sick people have been known to get up from their beds and walk some accept their cross for others there is a greater commitment a conversion of heart but there are those who will look on and remain unmoved some will walk away disillusioned for those who are helped however Lord fulfils a unique role there is a statue placed halfway up the zigzag path near the grotto it is of a blind man who kneeling rests his chin on a vertical beam of a rough wooden cross the inscription tells that the statute was donated by a blind Italian lady these are the words I came here to regain my sight but I regained something much more important my faith there is no mistaking the great love pilgrims have for our lady which is expressed when they walk in the evening torchlight possession and join their voices to the thousands of others singing the Lord Ave Maria when passing her crown statue they know that although a queen she is not unapproachable do not really standing on a pedestal to be admired from afar she is also our mother Bernadette was always at home in her presence and remarked on the gracious smile and warmth of her lady when she spoke of the apparition which took place on the Feast of the Annunciation Bernadette referred to her in these words she was smiling and looking at the crowd like a loving mother watching her children and this is how we come to see Mary her vocation was in saying yes to becoming the mother of God and her vocation is still to be a mother as a mother's joy is to bring up children to be like her perhaps even exceed her this is what she wants of us all her greatness was in letting God take over for the Almighty has done great things to me it is in this way that she wants us to imitate her the girl seated between two nouns on the hard wooden seat was very still and upright as the train rattled and bumped along the track a tapestry travelling bag and an enormous cerise coloured umbrella rested against the skirt at the smart dress she was wearing dark hair escaping from a patent kerchief over her head seemed only to emphasize the pallor of her face and so did the dark fathomless eyes oblivious of the nouns and of the two girls leontyne Moray and molarity who made up the rest of the party Bernadette Soubirous recalled her departure from lured earlier on this Wednesday morning of July the 4th 1866 at the station seeing her off were her parents her sister - Annette - ever aunts bozhil and Bernard and some of her close friends her mother had been beside herself with grief as she clung to her 22 year old daughter gently releasing herself Bernadette said mama mama please don't distress yourself so much after all never is not the other side of the world you can always come and see me you know oh I don't know Bernadette I feel as though I'd never see you again Francoise Subaru trying to calm his wife said come now Louise you're being overdramatic now Bernadette it's time for you to go give your mother a kiss and don't keep the good sisters waiting any longer tears flowed and handkerchiefs were very much in evidence as the heavy steam train moved laborious ly out of the station following the river garv it passed by a great mass of rock known as massabielle in an oval niche of a grotto sort of pure white statue of the Madonna a pyramid of candles burned brightly nearby the top of the rock had been leveled out and foundations laid there was however one building in evidence a small newly built Chapel looking across to the grotto Bernadette's heart ache even more as she said her silent farewell to what she felt was her own private heaven now escorted by mother Alexandrine the superior from the hospice at Lourdes and mother Ursula a superior from another convent she and the two other girls were on their way to the convent of San schilder to join the Sisters of Charity and Christian instruction at NAVAIR the journey was to be a long one and it entailed changing trains and overnight stops along the route the first of these was a Porto where they spent two days and then two para GU though the train was slow with many stops and the heat and smells intense there was no question of boredom they prayed and discussed all they had seen during their travels and on the final stage of their journey the superiors total three aspirants the history of the order which they were about to join at the end of this story lamb Dean said I wonder which house are be sent to when I'm professed hmm said Marie we'll each be given a job to do wonder what mine will be Bernadette said nothing she had no need to wander for as far as she was concerned she considered herself to be useless at 10:30 that night the train came to a halt of the platform of NAVAIR station and the nuns wasted no time in shepherding their charges off to the waiting carriage and pair which transported them a great speed through the dark and deserted streets as they approached the convent the driver suddenly turned left by passing the front gate he went in through a side entrance and deposited his passengers in the courtyard they gained admission to the building through a door of the tapas and steps by the kitchen several nuns waited to greet them after a light supper the new arrivals were led through the sleeping convent to their dormitory on the afternoon of the following day all the novices and postulants of the community assembled in the Great Hall of the novitiate also present were the sisters of the two other houses and never which had been specially invited along it had been decided that Bernadette Soubirous should give an account of an experience she had had at lured the mother general Josephine embarr presided beside her said sister marie-therese la su the mistress of the novices and the two superiors from the Pyrenees mothers Alexandrine and us who were to act as counselors clothed as she had arrived in a blue striped dress with a little staff tied Pyrenees fashion over her head Bernadette faced 300 religious no said mother in bear tell us exactly what happened while I was out in the woods one day I saw a beautiful lady standing on a niche in an old cabin she wore a white dress and a blue girdle around her waist and she had wait a minute wait a minute mother embarr interrupted now speak more slowly and tell us what you were doing in the woods were you alone no madam I was not by myself my sister Toinette was with me and so was a friend Jean a birdie and we went out to get some sticks for firewood we were very poor madam my father was out of work yes yes said mother Kimba now what happened then well we left the cache oh that's the old prison where we were living at the time and going by where the savy mill came to the Robair meadow Toinette and Jan Abadie quickly crossed the little savvy stream and went past the old cavern of massabielle and ran off together laughing you see I was so much slower than there because of my asthma anyway I took off my sebbers and began removing my stockings when suddenly I heard a murmur and then a sound of rushing wind it was just like when a storm is blowing up I looked all around but everything was still there wasn't a movement from the trees I heard the sound again and looked towards the cave then I noticed that a wild rose which was growing beneath the niche was shaking violently and the niche itself was ringed with lights inside stood a young lady she wore a long white dress with a blue sash around her waist and over her hair there was a veil on each foot there was a golden rose and she held a white rosary it had a goat chain between each bead I couldn't believe my eyes and so I rubbed them because I thought I was imagining it but no the lady was really there I felt frightened and just knelt down and tried to make the sign of the Cross but I couldn't my hands felt so heavy then the lady made the sign of the Cross and I was able to do so after that I took the rosary out of my pocket and began to say the prayers although she ran the beads through her fingers the lady's lips didn't move except at the glourious when I'd finished saying the rosary the lady disappeared did the lady speak to you ask mother embarr no not this time not in fact until the third time I saw her and what did she say she asked me if I do have a favor of going to massabielle every day for the next two weeks and she also said I wouldn't be happy in this world but in the next then she told me that people were to do penance and to pray for sinners she also had me do some penitential acts when was this as mother in there it was the ninth time I'd seen her on February the 25th this time the meeting was different she said to me go and drink at the spring and wash there I was very puzzled about this command but I thought maybe the lady who was speaking in our regional dialect matter confused spring with brook and so I went towards the river but she called me back no not to the gaff please I turned back towards the niche and the lady repeated what I was to do indicating with her finger she added and eat some of the plants you will find in the cave so I went to the corner of the cave and found a damp patch and began digging with my hands a little drop of muddy water appeared just about enough to fill a wineglass I looked at it and the lady told me again to drink and wash I scooped up some of the water with my hands but it was so muddy that I throw away three Lots before I was able to drink any then I attempted to wash my face and afterwards I add some of the grass it seems to me said mother Alexandrine that you did not act with much humility that's right interrupted sister Vasu you throw away three locks of water but mother the water was very dirty please continue the next time the lady came she said she wanted people to come in processions of the grotto and that I was to tell the priests that she wanted a chapel built after saying this Bernadette's attitude change her voice became tender and her eyes became classed as they record March the 25th 1858 the Feast of the Annunciation she was smiling and gazing at the crowds like a mother watching her children I knelt and said the Rosary and when I'd finished the lady came down from the niche and awaited me in the cavern I stood up and went slowly towards her but then I said madam will you have the goodness to tell me your name she smiled at me but didn't answer oh please will you tell me your name again she smiled and remained silent so then I stretched out my hands towards her and begged please please madam what is your name the lady's smile faded and a look of seriousness came over her face she parted her hands stretched them towards the ground and then joined them again at breast level and finally raising her eyes to the sky said I am the Immaculate Conception [Music] Bernadette stop speaking and dropped her hands to her sides while relating the scene she had spontaneously mimed every gesture of the lady breaking the silence sister Vasu had one more question to ask having heard that Bernadette had been entrusted with some secrets she wondered why no mention had been made of these what about the secrets then aren't you going to tell us anything at all about them but Bernadette as was her custom eluded the question and the meeting came to an end that evening Bernadette was handed over to sister to bow who was to be her guardian angel in the next few weeks she shared the new postulant around Sam's elder taught her the ways of convent life the exercises of a novitiate and in particular the importance of keeping the rule despite the companionship of sister tuber Bernadette during her first week was deeply distressed she missed Lord she missed the grotto she missed her family and although she did her best to hide the fact that she was more often than not in tears her red eyes betrayed her the Bernadette overcame her grief and in a letter to her parents she wrote I am settled and very happy and I beg you not to be anxious about me Sunday July the 29th 1866 was the day of the closing ceremony because Bernadette Soubirous is postulate she had begun at Lord six months earlier she was eligible and thus on this day just three weeks after arriving at sunshield ah the young woman replaced her blue stripes dress through a white one and with the other postulants filed into chapel there to greet them was Monsignor for COD the Bishop of Navarre and before a packed congregation of nuns and visitors Bernadette Soubirous received the novices veil and her name in religion from this day forward she would be known as sister married there not the name recorded in the registered lured 22 years earlier on the day of her baptism on that particular day January the 9th 1844 just two days after her birth there have been no bishop and no large congregation around the font in the Bleak Baptist Reyes and Peter's the parish church of lured huddled a handful of people as the firstborn child of francois and luis alberto received baptism but to welcome the new member the church bells rang out after the ceremony as the group made their way back to the house where the baby had been born this was the Boley mill one of the several that lined the banks of the swiftly flowing lopaka river north of the town they're lured with its cluster of pale grey houses narrow streets uneven pavements and passages was hardly pre possessing the Magnificent outcrop of rock upon which was built the castle stronghold of Mirim bell and the grandeur of the surrounding snowcat Pyrenean Peaks made the place one of rare beauty it was in the shadow of this dominant fortress that Bernadette grew up until the age of six she was a strong healthy child but then she began to suffer from asthma this caused her to have choking fits which left her fighting for her breath and so when a cholera epidemic swept the town five years later Bernadette was a ready victim although she made a remarkable recovery her condition remained delicate she was never fully able to take part in the games and activities with the other children and even her growth was but she worked hard her parents as mill owners has started off their married life in reasonably prosperous circumstances but due to mismanagement and generosity they lost everything and ended up by moving into the only place made available to them an old condemned building called the Kesho which at one time had been a prison the front room of the ground floor was used as a workshop by a stonemason while the subaru family was now numbered six occupied the back room it was small dark and damp in fact nothing but a fetid hole and the two barred windows were a grim reminder of its previous usage once the family had moved in their pitiful belongings Bernadette took over running the home while her hard-pressed parents tried to get work Francoise could only get odd jobs and this was doing work that other people would not for Madame Subaru it was not so difficult there was always a place for a hard worker in the better off houses doing the washing and general cleaning Bernadette's sister Trinette went to school while she herself could not at least and not on a regular basis for when her father was fortunate enough to get a day's work Bernadette looked after her two little brothers she washed them dressed them and despite the exhaustion caused by her restricted breathing played with them more than happy to help them forget their empty stomachs Bernadette quite frequently said to neighbors school no books were not meant for me I'm always in besides I'm needed at home anyway when I do go to school the sisters really don't know what to do with me I can only write a few strokes on the slate not even letters and I don't know how to read she certainly was needed at home not only in the day either for when her mother came in exhausted the two of them set about mending the already worn out clothing by the light of a stump of candle then while Bernadette could her baby brother's to bed Louise went to the woods to get sticks for their farm on this particular day it was February the 11th 1858 the weather was bitterly cold and a low damp mist hit the mountains Francois Subaru was still in bed the only place where a bit of warmth was to be found we're out of wood said Louise I'm going to look for some before I go to work without waiting for an answer she opened the heavy wooden door the care show just as Jean a birdie it was about to enter hello Louise where are you off to I'm going to get some sticks for our fire oh you needn't bother we'll go she looked at Bernadette Antoinette yes said the two girls together please mama let us go well Louise looked doubtful it's all right for you to Annette but Bernadette I'll be all right mama please that's all very well Bernadette but you know how easily you'll catch cold oh mama we'll all right then but put on your cape happily the three ran off and made for the woods once there Trinette and Jean went on ahead and became so engrossed in their project that they forgot all about Bernadette and when they returned a little later they were amazed to see her kneeling motionless but it it Bernadette Trinette code I'm receiving no answer she threw stones to attract her sister's attention Bernadette did not respond at once but after a while she stood up and joined the other two on the way home they bombarded her with questions until she eventually told them that she had seen a beautiful lady in the old Kevin please don't tell anyone she implored but they were unable to keep this a secret and as a result Bernadette was forbidden to go to massabielle again-- before long though she felt the urge to go back again and once her parents gave their permission she did so after she had been to the grotto several more times the local constabulary noting the stir it was causing felt obliged to intervene and so began a whole series of interrogations when in turn Lucy ajikko may the Chief of Police Monsieur Vittal do to the Imperial prosecutor and Beryl masse the prefect in charge of the high Pyrenees did their best to confuse and even intimidate Bernadette in an effort to get her to admit she was like these men didn't ruffle Bernadette but when the lady asked for a chapel to be built and people to come in possession her heart sank for this meant facing of a pyramid the quick-tempered parish priest of lured her so it's you that goes for the grotto is it said the FA after she did enjoy herself you're the one who says she sees the Blessed Virgin I've never said I see the best virgin then what exactly do you see young madam is it something or someone it's a lady and she told me to give you a message well what is it the lady wants people to come in possessions of the grotto watch where the message imparted Bernadette cuts it and hastened away she had not gone very far before realizing that she had not passed on all the message it was not until evening that she plucked up the courage to return to the presbytery this time she found it more difficult because in the study with avid parama was one of his carrots a vapor man basillica ray I forgot to tell you all of the message the lady at the grotto told me to tell the priests to build a chapel at massabielle and what is the name of this lady I don't know she never told me have you asked yes I have but she doesn't answer and she told Jules he wants a chapel at massabielle yes Monsieur okay have you gone mad in the head a lady standing on a rock a lady you don't know who wants a chapel at the grotto and you accept these messages and we are supposed to carry them out I'm just telling you Monsieur yeah so you know comedian as well oh really you are quite ridiculous you command me do you have the money for this chapel hey Bernadette empty the contents of her pocket out of the desk just one rosary listen I want proof of all this you tell that lady of yours I want a sign let me let me see now oh yes if she wants a chapel tell her to make the wild rose bloom at the grotto Bernadette smiled at The Bluest confess he is Monsieur Kouhei I'll tell her picking up her rosary from the desk she cuts it and left the room but before the door closed she popped her head back in and said just a little one Monsieur what was that you're saying just a little chapel Monsieur Bernadette did not hear his reply she had already disappeared the lady had asked Bernadette to go to the grotto for two weeks those two weeks were now up and the girl stopped going that the people did not although the Subaru family were kept under close observation by the police life took on some semblance of normality but now the press began to go to town in the beginning only the local dirt paper had reported the goings-on at massabielle but gradually at the news spread until on March the 9th 1858 all the great Parisian dailies carried the story as a result of this there are Massey the prefect and Monsieur to tour the Imperial prosecutor came under far from the minister of public worship who demanded exact information about these so-called apparitions in a letter he said it is your duty to keep me informed of all religious occurrences in reply to this both men sent in reports but at the same time stated that all necessary precautions have been taken to restore order monsieur du tour and masih also expressed the feeling that the incidents of massabielle would die a natural death but it was not enough to write reports the harris officials decided that something must be done and so they sent for the girl who was causing all the trouble and of the town she was questioned first by the tour and then by Monsieur Jacques Amin when asked by one of them if she will go to massabielle again-- she replied I don't know if I'll go to the grotto anymore the lady didn't tell me but three weeks after the last apparition on March the 25th the Feast of the Annunciation the lady called her again and at last said who she was as soon as the lady had disappeared Bernadette stood up and plowed through the crowds who hemmed her in on all sides murmuring to herself and quite unmindful of everyone Bernadette made a beeline for the town neither she nor her lips stopped until the presbytery was reached and there she burst in on the astonished a babe she said I am the Immaculate Conception what was it monsieur ducrai the lady at massabielle said I am the Immaculate Conception what are you talking about no one can have a name like that you've made it up do you know the meaning of those words the girl shook her head then why say something you don't understand but I'm only telling you what the lady told me and I said the words over and over again so that I'd be sure to get them right the Abbes temper died at once but not wishing to show his emotion he said it properly all right my child go home not now speak to you another time every parama have been taken aback by the news but before he could decide what action to take he was informed by Monsieur to tour that the grotto was to be barricaded up as the week's went by however the townspeople repeatedly pulled down the wooden fences only to see them put up again and on July the 16th 1858 the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel the fences were very firmly in place when Bernadette felt an irresistible desire to girl see the lady avoiding forbidden ground and accompanied by one of her aunt's sons and friends she went to the Robair meadow on the other side of the gaurav er the Sun had just set and a few groups of people know silently saying their prayers and no one noticed Bernadette in her dark colored hooded cape she knelt and then asked someone to light the candle which she held and all began to say the Rosary Bernadette looked towards the niche away in the distance but only the upper part showed about the rough barricades her distressed gaze searched the area and came to a rest on the nearby bank of the garv where it joined the savvy stream a silent companions saw the kneeling girl's face turn pale her skin goat taught while the brown eyes widened and became glazed later that night she told her family the lady was more dazzling and vivacious than ever before the golden roses on her feet were brilliant her veil and hair flowed freely and her smile was more loving than ever we didn't speak we just gazed at each other I raised my hand to wave and then there was nothing only the darkness of night in the weeks which followed massabielle was like a battlefield as Jean down with swords drawn tried to control the ever-increasing numbers who defied the decree arrests were made and fines imposed on those who took water from the spring but it made no difference and people still forced their way into the grotto on October the 2nd this state of affairs was at last resolved when the minister of public worship informed the Bishop of table that he had spoken with the Emperor Napoleon the third milord he wrote His Majesty wishes that free access be given to the grotto he also informs us that people are at liberty to use the water from the stream the battle for the grotto in which the Subaru family had taken no part was over during this time they had quietly gone about their business at the ground mill where they had moved from the cache o Bernadette had a room to herself but even so there was very little peace from the constant stream of visitors who plagued her with questions not only that she was summoned almost daily to the presbytery so that different people could see and speak to her these aggravations continued for many months until at the instigation of a Bey Perryman who had become her champion Bernadette was accepted at the hospice with the sisters of Navarre as a boarder and began her education in earnest but the question now most commonly asked was Bernadette what do you intend doing with your life a reply never varied shrugging her shoulders she said I really don't know what I do but surely you must have given some thought to the matter after all you're grown up now nuns too began to call and did their best to interest her in their respective communities why don't you become a Carmelite ask one or Trappist said another the Bernadette kept her counsel over the next two years concentrated on her education on September the 25th 1863 something unexpected happened Bernadette as she usually did during school holidays was helping out in the convent kitchen suddenly the door burst open and one of the sisters have faced flushed with excitement cried out quick quickly Bernadette Monsignor the Bishop of Mayfair is here gern ring the bell to announce his arrival rubbing our hands dry on the large apron she wore bernadette removed it and flung it onto a chair and ran to the front porch as fast as she was able and there started to pull the bell rope what a noise said the purple clap bishop who was just mounting the stairs dong dong dong little do young lady Bernadette stopped smiled curtsied and hurried away the bishop did not realize that this was the girl he had come to visit and so he said to mother alexandrie in the superior do you must show me Bernadette I've come specially to see her you know but of course I don't want her to know that yes yes I quite understand the nun replied perhaps you'd like to inspect some of the rooms at the convent first and then I'll take you to where she is and without waiting for an answer she led the way the last call was to the kitchen there she is whispered mother alexandrine the tall jovial man looked towards the chimney corner with a girl who had so recently been ringing the bell set scraping a carrot without speaking to her the bishop and the superior left the kitchen later when lunch was over he retired to the parlour and sent for Bernadette come along in my dear sit down how are you are you well yes my lord I am quite well I am very pleased to meet you now you're not to be afraid because I've sent for you after what you see and why be afraid of me then a debt relaxed and the serious expression left her face now Bernadette I want you to tell me all about the apparitions she did sir and the bishop listened attentively when she finished he said and so my child what are you going to do nothing my lord what nothing at all but my dear Bernadette you simply must do something in this life my lord why is that I cried at home here with the sisters oh yes that may well be so but it's not as easy as that you know but why my lord because you're not a sister and is absolutely essential for you to be one in order to join the community don't you see as it is now you're nothing and at this rate you will never last anywhere for long you aren't a child any longer maybe you'd like to get settled in the world with a place of your own she shook her head in that case why don't you become a sister you're happy with them aren't you oh yes my lord I am but it's out of the question for me to be a nun I'm poor I haven't got any money for the dowry Oh sometimes my dear but these things can be arranged poor girls are sometimes accepted without a dowry but young ladies you take without a dowry a clever and quite capable of making up to you for not having money me my lord I'm a nothing and I'm good for nothing good for nothing but I saw you in the kitchen a while ago helping sister cook and I noticed there is something you're good at oh don't worry you'll be put to good use besides in the novitiate they will complete your education raising her head Bernadette looked to the bishop thoughtfully all right now you think it over then speak to your confessor if you wish but above all else asked the Blessed Virgin to obtain from her divine son the light and grace Yuni the lighten grace had come to Bernadette it was now three years later and as the bishop put the novices veil on her and gave the name she will be known by in religion her thoughts went back to the day when she first met the Monsignor in the kitchen at the hospice at Luard then she wore an old plain dress and a scarf over her head now she wore a veil and the graceful habit of a novice [Music] after this ceremony Bernadette was assigned to help out in both the infirmary and in the sacristy in her free time she read the books mostly made available to her were on the lies of the sins and these did not particularly inspire but these stories are useless she said they're so unreal why don't they mention these people's bad points it doesn't say a thing about their faults their struggles or what they did to make themselves better talking about faults made her become even more conscious of her own I have a sharp tongue and a quick temper that's for sure and of course I'm rather domineering that's because I had control of my little brothers at home the mistress of the novices added stubbornness of the list which Bernadette readily admitted I have been headstrong all my life she said to sister Vasu even at the grotto I had to be told three times by our lady to drink the water well said the woman you've just got to overcome your faults now at you're a member of the community and you'll have to work hard at it too it seems to me that you are full of pride anyway it is not as though you have nothing to help you there's the peaceful convent life and all the prayer times and periods of silence that should help you to control yourself and then you've got me don't forget you belong to us now we'll knock you into shape Oh mother I do hope you do it gently said Bernadette as the weeks passed by it became increasingly more apparent to Bernadette that as well as the aides sister bazoo had mentioned to put her on the road to sanctity God was giving her another that of suffering on August the 15th 1866 Bernadette was put to bed completely fatigued by the end of the month she become really ill as frequent choking fits threatened to suffocate her by October the patient's condition had worsened to such an extent that it was feared she would die Bernadette realized this and expressed the desire to take her vows a message to this effect was sent to the bishop while the nagas received extreme unction from the convent chaplain both mother embarr and sister Vasu attended the administration of the sacrament afterwards they left the sick room and closing the door quietly behind her mother embarr said the doctor said she will not last the night heaven only lent her to us replied the mistress of novices oh she shook her head her soul escapes me just then the bishop came up the stairs and asked how is she we're going to lose her mother embarr opened the door and the bishop went over to the bed the girl had just suffered a severe hemorrhage she was breathless and already the signs of death are upon her the doctor is very concerned about you my child it seems that you might well be near the end of your life if that is so then I am very grateful to God I just want to die I am told you wish to make your profession yes I do but I haven't the strength to say the words well there's no problem I shall pronounce them for you all you have to do is say Amen the bishop recited the words and when Bernadette said amen mother embarr spread the veil over the girl's head while sister Vasu placed a crucifix between her joined hands and the rulebook on the bed goodbye my child said Monsignor for card please remember to pray for me when you get to heaven Bernadette closed her eyes and the bishop left the infirmary hardly had he done so when her breasts which have been irregular and rasping suddenly became calm and she opened her eyes taking hold of the patient's wrist the nurse said her pulse is stronger I shall not die tonight said Bernadette what said mother in Bear you calmly tell us that you're not going to die you knew you are not going to die and yet you made us get his lordship out at this awkward ah now you listen to me if you're not dead by the morning I'll take your veil away is that clear Bernadette smiled as you please bye mother later when she and the nurse were alone Bernadette said I'm feeling better God didn't want me I got as far as the gates and he said go away you've come too early from this day on she steadily progressed in health although her convalescence was slow and confined as she was - for whitewalls she naturally enough became depressed but as another patient observed she fought her depression by helping others who were sick when she was permitted out of bed and she read books and prayed a lot oh how I love to watch her praying but most of all I love to watch when she received Holy Communion it was then that I could see the great love she had for our Lord she lowered her eyes and her face was somehow transformed really it was quite heavenly hardly had Bernadette recovered from her near-fatal relapse when she had another blue news arrived at the convent of the death of her mother in Lourdes completely worn out from a hard life of work poverty and childbearing Louise had died at the age of 41 so great was the grief and tears of sister Mary Bernard when this news was broken to her said one of the nuns that she fainted she felt that no one could ever take her mother's place when she came round however although she cried a lot her strong will reasserted itself and she asked questions about her mother's death then she said our lady will take my mother's place she wants me to love only her and to place all my confidence in her when Bernadette left her bed in the infirmary and returned to the novice yet sister marie-therese Vasu realizing that she could not shape this particular soul to her way completely changed her attitude toward her she felt that the young woman was full of pride and so she immediately set about ridding her of it to that end Bernadette was singled out or humiliated to such an extent that one novice said to a companion how lucky and not to be sister marie-bernarde in the great hall of the novice yet Bernadette seemed to be forever on her knees kissing the ground in penance so much so that one day she joked I'm looking for the tile that I haven't kissed another reason which contributed to the harsh treatment of this young woman in her care for sister Vasu starts about lured to a visiting bishop she said why did the Blessed Virgin choose to appear to such an uncouth and uneducated peasant rather than to a virtuous well-educated woman mother embarr too had the same reserve towards Bernadette and her attitude was much the same as sister Vasu although inwardly she loved this young novice more than any other and could so easily have spoiled her sometimes though the mother generals behavior was extremely exaggerated as on the day of profession when Bernadette was to renew her deathbed vows having made their vows of poverty chastity obedience and charity the novices went up one by one to the bishop and received their assignment then it was Bernadette's him as she note before the bishop he turned towards the mother General and said and what about sister marie-bernarde well I don't know Monsignor she really isn't any good at anything sister marie-bernarde is it true that you are good for nothing yes my lord it is quite true but my poor child what are we going to do with you I told you in lure that I was good for nothing my lord and you said it didn't matter mother embarr intervened if you like my log we could keep her here and give her a job in the infirmary even if it's doing the cleaning and anyway as she's always ill this job will suit her admirably I will try my best said Bernadette the bishop gazed at the small figure at his feet and then he said I assign you to the task of prayer [Music] Bernadette could hardly hide her disappointment at seeing her friends leave the mother house to take up their various duties but it was in fact to spare the sister from public curiosity that the protection of Sanjaya had been decided upon not many days after her profession a nun who was visiting the convent asked Bernadette do ever feel complacent at being singled out by Our Lady for special favors the Blessed Virgin chose me because I was the most ignorant if she could have found anyone more ignorant than me then she would have chosen her and then she went on what do you do with a broom you use it for sweeping replied the nun and after you've finished you put it back in its place behind the door that is quite soon and that is what happened to me the Blessed Virgin used me and then put me back in my place I'm glad of it and that's where I stay on another occasion when speaking to a young novice she said to her humility is like a good perfume those who wear it are never aware of it the manner of her life vouched for the genuineness of Bernadette's humility her one desire was to stay hidden and she went to all lengths to avoid those who sought her out on those frequent occasions though when she was confined to bed it was easier for people to see her as she could not run away but not all visitors were as welcome as a young child named Madeline who was allowed into the infirmary seeing the sister in bed the little girl stopped in the doorway joined her hands together in prayer and stood motionless come over here child Madeline did so and after Bernadette had laid her hands on the little one's head the child kissed her then she put her hands together again and asked is it right that you saw the Virgin Mary oh yes I saw her I saw her was she very beautiful yes she was oh so beautiful when you have seen her once you just longed to die so that you can see her again nevertheless once she was up and about again Bernadette resumed her tactics of avoiding people more often than not she pulled the veil as low as possible over her face or she pulled the size of it closely around her when questioned by sister Basel she replied it is my little house in which I hide myself and so good did she become at remaining hidden that it took a new postulant one month to identify her another one after three days of looking at every person in the community said to an older nun it seems very strange but I just cannot discover Bernadette Soubirous which one is she she's over there the nun pointed towards a tiny figure what that cried out the new postulant an obvious disappointment Bernadette who had overheard came over smiling and taking the girl's hand said yes ma'am sell only that come that will show you around the convent the ready smile and infectious laughter indeed Bernadette to the community and the humiliation and trial she had to endure did nothing to squash her high spirits one day when she was sent to the kitchen for some hot water she took it without asking cooks permission sister marie-bernarde just you put that water back where you got it from said the woman yes sister said Bernadette and she returned to the sink where she endeavoured to put the water back up the tap this action so completely disarmed the hitherto annoyed nun that both she and the culprit dissolved into laughter it was this sense of humor which was peculiar to her that caused the young postulants and novices to seek her company and the sick to look forward to seeing her despite what had been said to her on the day of profession Bernadette was in fact given a responsible position she was officially made assistant to the nun in charge of the infirmary she nursed us recalled one of the patients with infinite tenderness and she was always cheerful in spite of her own bad health sometimes sister marie-bernarde sang us little songs in patois and then laughed out loud when she saw we didn't understand the words for me no other visit compared to hers when she came into the infirmary she bowed to the statue of Our Lady and then she came and straightened the covers on my bed took my hand and always said a little word of encouragement like we must suffer for the good of God he suffered so much for us or when we get to heaven we'll be happy but down here at first Bernadette did all the menial jobs like cleaning the floor emptying bedpans and changing the water and the flower vases but eventually she graduated to nursing the sick when sister for the elderly and ailing chief of the infirmary was periodically herself confined to bed Bernadette took over her humor Authority and counsel created a relaxed and happy atmosphere nevertheless her gaiety did not conceal her deep sense of purpose and commitment and a depth of soul which obvious to all others eluded sister Basu the little sister was highly competent just as she had been when running the family home in Lourdes Monsieur Sancia the doctorate songs elder wrote of her sister Mary Bernard is small and frail in appearance and she does not look her 27 years she has a calm and gentle disposition and nurses her patients with considerable intelligence never omitting anything from the prescriptions which I Otto thus she exercises great authority and as far as I am concerned she enjoys my utter confidence although she was competent she never compromised her duties but carried them out with love and feeling she was not averse to sitting up all night with a sick patient and whatever the job she never shirked it and coped admirably one of the sisters was suffering from breast cancer the disease had caused the open wound on the nuns chest to become so repulsive that those helping out in the infirmary could not bear to look at it let alone dress it a fine sister charity you'll make Bernadette scolded one novice just what will you do if you get a case like this when you're sent to a hospital to work are you going to turn your back on the patient always remember when you're nursing someone it's our Lord who are really nursing when sister father died Bernadette officially succeeded her as head of the infirmary but she had already been shouldering the work for almost six years and now it began to take its toll On January the 17th 1873 she was put to bed in the infirmary Here I am once more she wrote to her sister Toinette it started with a violent attack of asthma which lasted a long time and then I had a hemorrhage which prevented me from making the slightest movement in case it brought it on again you can well imagine how being fastened down like this does not suit my impetuous nature while she was still poorly she had an added burden news of her father's death at Lourdes reached her for a while Bernadette was inconsolable but gradually her good sense enabled her to overcome her grief on Easter Sunday Bernadette was allowed to leave the infirmary and attend Mass within a matter of days she had a relapse and was put back to bed again now doctor Saskia intervened and he said to mother general I feel that working in the confined atmosphere of the infirmary is making sister marie-bernarde condition worse besides the burden of work there is really too much for someone in her frail condition and so Bernadette was transferred to the sacristy whereas once before she became assistant sacristy I know said the mother general how much it cost sister marie-bernarde to leave the infirmary she was very much loved and her patients miss her a great deal in the sacristy the work was much less tiring and better suited to her health and what did please Bernadette about the change of occupation was the close proximity of the chapel and because she had more time on her hands she was able to enjoy what our heart most craved silence and solitude which have been denied her in the busy infirmary those hours of silence she also shared with our lady sometimes before her altar and sometimes before her statue which stood in the convent garden it was quite obvious to all the special place Mary had in this nuns heart it is as if the lady of massabielle had never left her said one of her companions when I asked her one day if the apparition had faded from her memory she said forget her no never and putting her right hand to her forehead she said it's there and you know whenever she prays to the Blessed Virgin it seems as if she still sees her and if any of us asked her to obtain a favour she always says our ger and asked our lady about it and the sign of the Cross she makes it's so beautiful it's like nothing I've ever seen it's the same with the Rosary she says the Hail Marys slowly and was great feeling and when she gets to pray for our sinners she really emphasizes those words although Bernadette had more time at her disposal for prayer she knew penance more than anything else would help to save sinners in fact so single-minded was she in this endeavor that when one of the sisters asked do you pray for the Holy Souls she replied yes I do but at least they are sure of going to heaven I prefer to pray for sinners they might perish forever one of her biggest sacrifices was that of lured in order to help save sinners she decided never to go there again even though she had many opportunities I've made the sacrifice of Lord she said I shall see our lady in heaven and that will be better and what a sacrifice this was it meant that never again would she see the Magnificent Iranian countryside the towering mountains the sheep on the hillsides and the swiftly flowing God it meant to not going to the grotto again or visiting her parents graves and then there were her sister and brothers about whom she worried so much and the redoubtable had a pyramid his deaths on Our Lady's birthday September the 8th 1877 came as a great shock sister marie-bernarde was in chapel said mother General when I broke the news to her she let out such a cry Oh Monsieur de querer Mesilla Corre Oh mother I must go outside that's where I find him and she tottered out of the chapel to pray for him in the grounds this man of whom many years earlier she had been afraid had become her dearest friend and from the day she heard of his death she felt that her own was not far away the one of the novices she said when you hear that I am dead pray hard for me otherwise I might Frizzle in purgatory twenty years had passes Bernadette had seen the mother of God at massabielle and twelve years since she entered the mother house at NAVAIR and she felt conscious of entering the final phase of her life on earth she had been in bed for a year and now had trouble in digesting and retaining food and besides this a tumor had developed on her knee and was causing considerable pain on her better days the nun was allowed up for a while and when possible on Sundays and feast days carried into Chapel for mass during the autumn of 1878 Bernadette prepared for her permanent vows each year she had renewed them but now publicly she was to make them for life the ceremony took place on September the 22nd the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows it was around this time that Bernadette began to suffer mentally as she considered her life so she believed herself to be unworthy of so many privileges it is painful not to be able to breathe she said but to suffer from inner torment is dreadful I'm afraid I've been given so many graces and favors and I've made so little use of them her agony went so deep that she even believed that her spiritual life was collapsing and that as a nun she was a complete failure so her torment continued and then on December the 8th the Feast of the Immaculate Conception she went to Chapel for the last time three days later she became permanently bedridden chronic asthma consumption severe hemorrhages and the tumor on her knee all conspired to cause unrelieved distress oh my poor sister you are going through it said one who was nursing her yes Bernadette answered but don't pay any attention to my contortions I suffer yes but I'm glad to suffer I'm prepared to put up with anything for Jesus anything to help save sinners the tumor on her leg grew enormous as her burns rotted and the pain became so intense that eventually the diseased leg had to be rested on a chair outside the bed though sometimes it took the nurse an R to find a position which gave her less pain the slightest movement caused great agony and the little sister did her best to restrain her cries especially throughout the night yet despite her exhaustion Bernadette Soubirous still endeavored to be of use during Lent 1879 she made an effort as she had done in previous years to paint pictures on Easter eggs for the NAVAIR orphans on some eggs she painted hearts because she said people no longer have hearts on others she drew crowns of thorns they are to remind us that our Lord only gives his crown of thorns to his friends of her suffering she said it's nothing compared with what our Lord went through but if the little I can do helped save sinners then I am happy when the pain has grew unbearable or when she was made to swallow food or distress for medicine she said this is for the big sinner and who is the big sinner Oh the Blessed Virgin knows him well a March the 20th such was her agony that dr. salia thought her end was near and so it was suggested that she received the sacrament of the sick at first the invalid was reluctant no no I don't want extreme unction every time I've received it I've been cured nevertheless she was anointed and afterwards in a voice much stronger than usual turned to the mother General and said I have been such a nuisance to you all ever since I've been here I've caused you trouble please mother please forgive me and will you tell my companions that I'm asking their forgiveness for the bad example that I have set them indeed as Bernadette surmised she did regain some strength which didn't please her she only wanted to die and go to heaven heaven heaven she murmured continually they say that some sense did not go straight to heaven because they did not long for it enough that won't be so in my case don't worry said FFA bro the convent chaplain you're way up there enjoying it soon enough and our lady gave you some idea of what it would be like oh yes you're right and how that does me good well then be brave sister remember Mary's promises heaven awaits you at the end of all this yes I know but the end is a long time coming during Holy Week April the 6th to the 13th 1879 her agony intensified the disease had run through her whole system there was hardly any skin left on the lower parts of her body and the sores which covered her opened up and merged so that she felt she was burning up courage sister said the abbot let your sacrifice be made generously Bernadette looked at the men what sacrificed you mean why my good sister I mean the sacrifice of your life ah that is no sacrifice it is no sacrifice at all to leave a life in which it is so difficult not to offend the good God and where there are so many crosses during this week all the little holy pictures pinned to the white bedside curtains were at her request removed I only need my crucifix now I am like a grain of wheat which is being ground I would never have believed it possible to suffer so much in order to die throughout her agony Bernadette had never feared or doubted that she will go to heaven but on Easter Monday night a more severe form of mental torture began oh I'm afraid I'm so afraid I have received so many graces so many and I'm worried that I have not used them as I should all that night she was in a cold sweat and her cries were terrifying periodically she called get out Satan get out at last the morning came and she was easier when Abbie Faber arrived she said to him the devil tried to frighten me in the light he tried for a long time and then went to throw himself on me but I said the name Jesus and quite suddenly he disappeared the mental struggle and the anguish it caused was over not so her physical pain Wednesday April the 16th dawned and still her emaciated shrunken body rised in pain just after 11 o'clock that morning because she seemed to be suffocating Bernadette's little body was gently lifted from the bed and placed in an armchair in front of the fire one hour later her condition worsened and someone went to fetch a buffet bruh while those nuns gathered in the infirmary knelt beside her you are now on the cross dear sister said one of them Bernadette looked at the crucifix on the wall and said oh my Jesus how I love him I'll ask our immaculate mother to give you consolation said the nun oh no please no consolations but I need strength and patience all suffering is good for heaven Bernadette's eyes turned towards the statue of Our Lady on the mantelpiece I saw her oh yes I saw her and how I longed to see her again she was so lovely prayers for the dying began and Bernadette followed these with great concentration while her hands clasp her crucifix with tenderness and confidence when the effe arrived her breathing was heavy and uneven but she was fully conscious after again giving her absolution which she requested he asked her to say the word Jesus the moment she had done so Bernadette stared out into space as if she saw something her face wrapped in radiant surprise was transformed supporting herself with her hands she leaned forward the better to see and then came a great exclamation of wonder oh oh she fell back into the chair and rested quietly for over an hour just the two Infirmary sisters remained with her shortly before three o'clock the assistant to the mother General on her way out of Chapel thought a sudden urge to hurry back to Bernadette as she entered the dying sister still feeling she had failed in her duty during her years as a nun stretched out her arms towards the superior please please forgive me pray for me oh please pray for me the three religious not closely around her and prayed quietly Bernadette joined in and a low voice a three o'clock precisely a most dreadful expression of desolation and abandonment swept over the little sister's face and extending her arms like a cross she cried out my God my god I first a cup was put to her lips but before touching the offered liquid Bernadette found enough strength to make one last gesture the large and beautiful sign of the Cross which twenty-one years before she had been taught to make she drank a few drops of water and her lips were wiped her head inclined to one side and rested on the arm of one of the nurses instinct told the three kneeling women that this time it really was the end and together they began the Hail Mary at the words Holy Mary Bernadette joined in mother of God pray for me poor sinner poor poor sinner [Music] [Music] then she was gone gone to the one she longed to be with gone to the one to whom 21 years before she had waved a sad and poignant farewell while kneeling in the Robair meadow which overlooked the barricaded cavern on that day the lady that looked more vivacious and more lovely than Bernadette had ever seen her she was ringed in light and everything about her shimmered in dazzling splendor from her free-flowing veil and hair to the golden roses on her feet and her smile was all loving so indelible was the memory of the beauty of our lady that Bernadette many years later in her sickbed at the convent of San Judah could still say when you have seen her once you just longed to die so that you can see her again [Music] [Music]

Channel: Sacred Heart Publications

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Keywords: Catholic audio books, Apparitions of Lourdes, Immaculate Heart of Mary, Catholic Dogma, Saint Bernadette, Catholic Saints, Jesus Christ, Mystics, God, Blessed Trinity, Holy Spirit, Miracles, Heaven, Angels, Virgin Mary, Vatican, Holy See, Immaculate Conception

Id: NmFFWWpmcqA

Length: 121min 4sec (7264 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 19 2018