>> HOW ABOUT THIS. HOW YOU DOING? GOOD. >> Jimmy: YOU GOT THE STICKER. I HAD NO IDEA YOU BECAME AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. CONGRATULATIONS. >> NO, NO, I'M NOT. I'M AN ENGLISH CITIZEN. >> Jimmy: WELL, WHAT IS WITH THE I VOTED STICKER? I JUST VOTED. YOU JUST GO IN AND YOU VOTE. >> Jimmy: YOU WENT IN AND YOU VOTED? >> NO, I DID A FEW TIMES, ACTUALLY. >> Jimmy: NO, YOU'RE NOT -- >> I DID ACTUALLY -- >> Jimmy: WELL -- >> IT'S NOT HARD. YOU JUST CALL UP YOUR AGENT AND YOU SORT IT OUT. >> Jimmy: YOUR AGENT WORKED THAT OUT FOR YOU? >> YEAH, I SAID, I WANT TO DO IT. >> Jimmy: ALL THE CELEBRITIES WERE VOTING. >> I THOUGHT, I'VE GOT TO BE IN. I WANT TO BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT VOTED. >> Jimmy: WELL, YOU CERTAINLY DID. YOU VOTED FOR A LOT OF THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T VOTE. NOW, THIS SHOW -- AND YOU KNOW THIS BECAUSE I WOULD E-MAIL YOU AFTER EACH SHOW BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. "WHO IS AMERICA" WAS ON SHOWTIME. SACHA, FORGIVE ME FOR EXPLAINING YOUR SHOW TO THEM. HE WOULD DO A SERIES OF CHARACTERS, ROTATING CHARACTERS, AND TRICK POLITICIANS, FAMOUS PEOPLE, NOT FAMOUS PEOPLE, INFAMOUS PEOPLE, IN TO DOING THE CRAZIEST, MOST UNIMAGINABLE THINGS. >> YES. >> Jimmy: IT -- IT'S STILL -- LIKE FOR INSTANCE, YOU GOT DICK CHENEY, THE FORMER VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, TO SIGN A WATER BOARD, LIKE, HAPPILY SIGN A TORTURE DEVICE. >> THAT'S RIGHT. I WAS SURPRISED. I WAS SURPRISED. . >> Jimmy: WAS THAT THE GOAL GOING IN, TO GET HIM TO SIGN THAT? >> YES, I MEAN, I DID SAY, WHEN I SAID TO -- I SHOWED IT TO HIM AND I GO, THIS HAS BEEN SIGNED BY ARIEL AND BY SIMON PEREZ AND ALSO DEMI LOVATO. SHE HAS A WONDERFUL VOICE. AND HE GOES, YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER SIGNED A WATER BOARD BEFORE. I GO, WHAT? YOU'RE JOKING. HE GOES, THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY VALUABLE. >> Jimmy: DID YOU TALK TO HIM AT ALL OFF CAMERA? >> WELL, ABOUT HALF AN HOUR BEFORE HE CAME IN, I REALIZED I WAS ABOUT TO INTERVIEW THE EX-VICE PRESIDENT, WHO'D STARTED A COUPLE OF WARS. >> Jimmy: AND CIA. >> YES. AND I THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE SUSPICIOUS. SO, I REALIZED I HAD NO BACK STORY TO MY CHARACTER. I WAS PLAYING THIS KIND OF ISRAELI ARMY CHARACTER BUT I HAD A SIDE KICK WHO WAS A KIND OF ISRAELI SPECIAL OPS GUY, A REAL GUY, SO I SAID YOU KNOW WHAT? HE'S COMING IN 20 MINUTES. JUST TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR MILITARY EXPERIENCE FROM THE TIME THAT YOU WERE A CHILD ONWARDS. HE GOES, OKAY. AT THE AGE OF 8, I WENT TO SCHOOL IN MY RIGHT HAND, I HAD MY LUNCHBOX, IN MY LEFT HAND, I HAD MY GAS MASK AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED I HAD TO JOIN THE ISRAELI ARMY. CUT TO 20 MINUTES LATER, DEICK CHENEY WALKS IN. HE GOES, BEFORE WE FILM, I'D LOVE TO KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT WHO'S INTERVIEWING ME, SO HE SAT DOWN WITH ME IN A CORNER. AND HE GOES, DO YOU MIND TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR MILITARY EXPERIENCE. I SAID, MR. CHENEY, AT THE AGE OF 8, I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH A LUNCHBOX UNDER ONE HAND AND THE GAS MASK UNDER THE OTHER. >> Jimmy: AND HE BOUGHT THAT. >> YEAH. >> Jimmy: THAT IS CRAZY. CONGRESSMAN FROM ORANGE COUNTY, A GUY NAMED DANA ROHRBACHER, WHO'S A NUT. >> GREAT GUY. THEY WON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HIM IN RUSSIAN TODAY. YOU CAN GOOGLE THAT. >> Jimmy: HE'S VERY IN WITH THE RUSSIANS. YOU GOT HIM TO SAY, AND CORRECT ME IF I HAVE THIS WRONG, BUT HE ENDORSED ARMING YOUNG CHILDREN, LIKE, 5-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN. >> 3-YEAR-OLDS WITH MACHINE GUNS. YES, TO PROTECT THEIR SCHOOLS. >> Jimmy: AS PART OF YOUR KINDER GUARDIANS PROGRAM. AND THEN HE CLAIMED HE NEVER SPOKE TO YOU. >> THEN HE CALLED ME A FRAUD. >> Jimmy: WHICH YOU QUITE CLEARLY WERE A FRAUD. >> YES, I WAS A FRAUD, THAT WAS THE ONE ACCURATE THING HE SAID, REALLY. >> Jimmy: THEN WHO WAS THE REPRESENTATIVE FROM GEORGIA? WHAT WAS THAT GUY'S NAME? >> JASON SPENCER, YES. HE'S A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING. >> Jimmy: THIS IS -- THIS WAS UNBELIEVABLE TO ME, AND WE'RE ONLY -- I WANT TO SHOW A CLIP BECAUSE IT'S SO GREAT. BUT YOU WENT, AGAIN, AS YOUR ISRAELI CHARACTER, AND YOU WERE TEACHING HIM ABOUT SELF-DEFENSE, ABOUT PROTECTING HIMSELF FROM TERRORISTS, YEAH? >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> Jimmy: AND THIS MAN IS A REPRESENTATIVE IN THE STATE OF GEORGIA. OR WAS ANYWAY. TAKE A LOOK. >> YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME, IF I TOUCH YOU, YOU WILL BECOME A HOMOSEXUAL. >> OKAY. >> OKAY? NOW, TRY TO TOUCH ME. GO! GO, GO, GO. GO. >> GO, GO. USA! USA, MOTHER [ BLEEP ]. >> Jimmy: THAT IS -- AND IT GOT -- IT BECAME MORE GRAPHIC, EVEN, THAN THAT. >> YEAH. YEAH. >> Jimmy: HE RESIGNED AFTER THAT. >> THE AMAZING THING, JIMMY, WAS THAT HE ACTUALLY DIDN'T RESIGN FOR 48 HOURS. SO, HE HAD NOT ONLY CHASED ME WITH HIS BARE BUTTOCKS, TRYING TO TURN ME -- I WAS PRETENDING TO BE AN ISLAMIC TERRORIST, I HAD CONVINCED HIM THAT IF HE TOUCHED ME WITH HIS BUTTOCKS, HE WOULD TURN ME INTO A HOMOSEXUAL, SO HE WAS SCREAMING AT ME GOING, USA, BUT HE ALSO SCREAMED THE "N" WORD FOUR TIMES. HE HAD TAKEN A PHOTO UP A WOMAN IN A BURQA AND HE HAD BITTEN THE END OF A PHALLUS OFF A TERRORIST, WELL, A FAKE PHALLUS, BUT HE STILL REFUSED TO RESIGN FOR 48 HOURS, WHICH I ACTUALLY QUITE RESPECTED. >> Jimmy: YEAH. YEAH, THAT WAS HIS DECISION MAKING PROCESS. >> TOOK HIM TIME TO REALIZE. >> Jimmy: THERE'S ANOTHER ONE WHERE YOU PLAY THIS GREAT CHARACTER, AND HE'S LIKE AN ULTRA-LIBERAL GUY WHO -- >> YES. HE'S -- >> Jimmy: HE'S GOT QUITE A BODY. HE'S REALLY SOME KIND OF A CHARACTER. BUT YOU GO TO KINGMAN, ARIZONA, CH WHICH I KNOW AS, LIKE, THE STOP BETWEEN PHOENIX AND ANYWHERE ELSE. AND YOU TELL THEM THAT YOU WANT TO BUILD A MOSQUE IN THEIR TOWN. >> YES, THE BIGGEST MOSQUE OUTSIDE OF MECCA IN THEIR TOWN. AND YEAH, IT WAS AN INTERESTING -- WE THOUGHT IT COULD GET A LITTLE HAIRY. >> Jimmy: WELL, LET'S SHOW A CLIP OF IT AND THEN YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED BEHIND THE SCENES. >> I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT KINGMAN HAS BEEN CHOSEN AS THE LOCATION OF A BRAND-NEW STATE OF THE ART MOSQUE. >> WHAT? >> STATE OF THE ART WHAT? >> I KNOW SOME OF YOU ARE THINKING, OKAY, THIS IS JUST ANOTHER TYPICAL MOSQUE. THIS, GUYS, IS GOING TO BE THE WORLD'S LARGEST MOSQUE OUTSIDE OF THE MIDDLE EAST. >> Jimmy: AND THEY -- THEY WEREN'T AS ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT AS YOU MIGHT THINK. DID YOU EVER -- WERE YOU EVER WORRIED THAT YOU WERE IN PHYSICAL DANGER? >> WELL, WE HAD A BODY GUARD THAT DAY, AND -- >> Jimmy: GOOD. >> WHICH IS A WISE IDEA AND HE SAID, YOU KNOW, THEY WERE TAKING A LOT OF THE GUNS OFF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE COMING INTO THE ROOM BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE LIKE TO CARRY, AND HE SAID, HOWEVER, SOME PEOPLE MIGHT WELL HAVE A GUN ON THEM. HE SAID, LISTEN, DON'T WORRY. IF SOMEBODY PULLS OUT A GUN AND TRIES TO SHOOT YOU, I'VE ACTUALLY CREATED A BULLET PROOF CLIPBOARD. SO I HAVE A CLIPBOARD THERE. THAT'S IT. AND HE GOES, IT'S ACTUALLY BULLET PROOF AND I SAID, OKAY, THAT'S GREAT, BUT IF THEY PULL OUT THE GUN, DO I PUT IT OVER MY HEART OR OVER MY HEAD? HE WAS LIKE, I HAVEN'T WORKED THAT BIT OUT. SO, IN THE END, I WAS TRYING -- I WAS IMAGINING IF I COULD COVER MY HEAD OVER MY HEART AND SOMEHOW PROTECT MY GROIN AS WELL AND WALK OUT. >> Jimmy: MAYBE HE WAS -- MAYB
Watching this interview made me realize something. I think that Who is America? ruined tv for me. It was the last thing I watched that I was absolutely nuts about and nothing has done it for me since. I'm normally a rabid tv fan but I have been having the hardest time watching anything consistently since it ended. SBC is a genius.