S 2 Episode 7: Jamie Ivey and Wynter Pitts

hi i'm cristal and if you've been watching the sister circle show for any length of time you'll know this is not normal I don't come on before I interview someone and intro the interview but this interview is different in this interview I'm joined not only by Jamie Ivey but with my cousin winter and if you've been following me for any length of time you know that winter my cousin passed away in July of 2018 suddenly and unexpectedly but this video that I'm going to share with you today we actually recorded two years ago now there's a reason I've held onto that video for this long and I'll share that reason with you a little bit later but for right now I want you to know that just as I mentioned in episode 6 of season 2 with Jamie Ivey that this episode with winter we were going to air this is the episode episode 7 my conversation with Jamie Ivey and my cousin winter pits [Music] I'm so excited to welcome to Jamie Ivey I'm Sara - our little greeting here Jamie Ivey does a lot of things namely most people would you say most people probably know you from being the host of the happy hour podcast and it is the happy hour it's fun to listen to you but happy hours not just like a happy hour that you go to but I love happy with being with my friends you know and I also have my cousin winter with me who is my personal happy hour sometimes basically I want to hang join y'all we have personal happy I know right for our happy hour with the Jamie from the happy hour show yes that we're gonna send like that so I have you here because there are so many things that you do if I jump on your Instagram feed okay you have live events you have your podcast you've got your family got your husband you've got your ministry you have all the things that you do when you show us what you're wearing and your clothes and then of course the earrings all the stuff that various the earrings too but the thing that I think about when I'm looking at all that stuff not only its what all you're doing but you know who is this person why are you doing all this stuff cuz we can hear what you do and benefit from what you do be blessed by what you do but why are you doing it who are you and when you're smiling which by the way your Instagram feed and we've talked about this is full of joy you know I think it's the dimples yeah I think it's the difference it doesn't even matter what she's she's like showing a half [Applause] [Laughter] so I'm interested to talk to you about you and of course we'll bring in some of the things that you're doing and why you're doing them but first of all I want to ask you are you a naturally positive person because that I see a lot of positivity in joy is that natural to you is that something you work at I say yes and no so I am a natural positive like girlfriend's like I love to have fun and encourage people and I see things on the bright side I do have this weird side about me and my husband calls it my I always have to think about it I am the W C SD he says I have that worst-case-scenario disease where if I'm at the beach I know I'm gonna get eaten by a shark or it's gonna happen so you were just terrified the whole way in Uganda I'm guessing I knew hippo was gonna find us and you something no but I think that I am because I know that when I see people that are constantly negative and kind of down it is hard it's frustrating to me and I leave that first I first noticed that when I first got married and I would see wives kind of talked down to their husbands you were like I'm not gonna be there I did I did I was like I don't like how that looks I'm not gonna be that way and so I think that just kind of has rolled over that's what I was gonna ask if it was an intentional like it he remember feeling my cat's because I feel like it's possible for all of us to do that but it's an intentional thing like there's some people that are just naturally kind of joyous they've always been I've got one cave like my ten-year-old just always bubbly always happy but like I have to work at it yeah and Howard get it then it's like oh that's right let me tell you something let me tell you like this one right here what okay if you call her and she's not answering your calls it's probably because she's not where she needs to be like personally like I'll be calling her boxing her texts you go in I don't want to ruin the mood for every battle no I am in everything I actually think that that's a positive thing because when you know you need to pull back then you just are like I'm not gonna drown everybody else in that you know what I'm saying if that's what it is that's not you just fight for it yeah it can be a little in me it's a good thing like I know yeah it's a good thing but then it also can be I need those people in my life that Oh like now where are you yeah this are like for me personally in the past two years with the happy hour I think there's a lot more people looking at me mm-hmm and so I give people what I would want them to see not that it's a lie okay but and not that there aren't hard times because I talk very openly I'm very open every time I talk everywhere I every podcast I will tell you I got a council appointment every Monday I've got a hard kid you know I had a hard fall all those things I'm open with them but when you talk about my Instagram feed I know what it wants to be and I know that's what I want it to be so I'm not lying yeah I just want it to be happy right because that's a place where I want to present joy so what do you do when you I mean what what does that intention ality look like I mean what does it look like for you to go okay this is what I want to present even if it's not the Instagram feed in front of my kids but I want to give my husband what I want to give my friends how do you pull yourself up kind of I mean is that work at all or just you just have made up your mind and it's just you do it no I think it takes work for sure I mean I I don't believe in the mantra of like pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep going because I can't do that personally I need Jesus to do that for me and so for me like even we're talking about like oh she's not even something like I have all of us do have times like that and I have girlfriends who know me like you know her I have girlfriends that know me and know like what hey kind of absent how are you and they're there for me you know and my husband is that way for me as well and so I think for me it's a conscious decision of I do want to be happy and joyful because I want to be an encouragement to others yeah it doesn't mean I have to hide when I'm not yeah it's just in certain areas I choose to be that way yeah yeah okay so so one of the things that when we're being happy and joyful that we've talked about here lately is beautification okay so let's just take a left turn and talk about that because I happen to know on Jamie's way here okay on Jamie's we're here no wait we're all in Texas this place is not everywhere I don't I don't think so because I just had someone send me a message today but was it yeah okay so there's this place on Texas freeways I know at least where three of them are it's called Bucky's Bucky's is like Walmart on the road yeah that's exactly right it is it has the tinge of a lot of stuff you really really want not stuff you need but stuff you really want so they have food they have treats they have gifts they have all this kinda stuff you sucked in Bucky's on your way to buy some tweezer they also have tweezers they have to say have a lot of those buckey's have maple pecan glia hot nut thing and they have tweezers and you picked up some tweezers because everyone grabs a look there are four I have to get my eyebrows waxed every like 10 days because I have a unibrow and I don't like wack I don't like on myself okay it could just have to completely draw them in like me who has no I've know like this like this is John there this is not clean cuz I don't even bother with trying to tweeze a lot but this is like I've no yeah well yours you have yours done I threaded himself it knew oh I was lying around but I go and have them thrown every 63 people but that's basically yeah but it's quicker so and then because I want to make it last that I'll tweeze out the little flyaways that pop up in the meantime cuz I'm just like you know if you give money away to everybody who wants to plug-in tweeze and do something to you you'll be broke I'm just saying I looked at the micro micro bleeding I think it's called would have seen that where they draw it like it's like tattooing eyebrows on if I find you buddy because exactly Johnny Carson I'm waiting for a testimony that does it and I got lots of testimony I'm so Jamie's I've looked at all of it I was like I'm serious yes okay so just what happened so browse the tweezing that's real another thing that we talked about Tina is that is the eyelashes yeah okay so now here's the reason why this is so important okay because we all love Jesus right but one of the things I think we talked about in our little pockets but we don't necessarily talk about on a platform and so now this is the stuff we're all wondering it's like okay threading doesn't hurt or do you tweeze or do you wax or do we have a unibrow do we have to draw it in I mean you know but everybody's trying to figure out what to do it yeah okay then you have the eyelashes because whenever I do video stuff they the makeup artist always adds lashes which makes me feel like I want to go to sleep because I'm walking around like yeah you know for a little bit but then when you see the final footage or the final you're happy you have the huge difference it makes a difference but you have found that there's another way tell us about that well I go and get my I feel like I need to tell you this okay I get them done every like three weeks but I'm speaking somewhere this weekend and so that's the thing for me as I want to look awake on stage like I don't know he's not looking now I know them wet they are like so they're individually or salude on and they don't come off no no well yes they do because I need to get them done and I showed up at my lady's place yesterday yeah I'm done before this weekend and she had double-booked I didn't get all done they love each other well good I'm glad cuz I called my friend Amanda and I said how can I even talk about Jesus about my life and she said you need to you need to repent right now they don't come off like and every night no no no I had those done like the Walgreens - why are you friend mm-hmm yeah and so it takes like two hours and like overtaking a band yeah she takes it now cuz you've to give your eyes call you today like things like for me make your eyes closed and then you lay there for two hours to me it's a great word even to close my eyes for two hours how away today I don't know I'm making everybody day you said that yours did they don't feel that way when they're individually glued on but let me tell you okay where is she the last time I had him done for a shoot she didn't do it and it did fields if she didn't it was like right before you did your yeah I mean probably not this but instead of a whole like what I did filled with it one I never felt different than the whole line cuz y'all when I can get my toes done the toes I'm fine with the hands are a whole other story I need my hands so while you're doing something I could be doing something but you're like take my ID show please well if I'm gonna go all the way three weeks the last three weeks yeah and how do you know it's time do they just start falling out they become like like favor I cannot Angele each a picture next week when I actually do get them done and remember what you're seeing and it's gonna be a little different number I need my phone anything like you don't start doing some research you don't need to do research you have friends that have already done it I want to go look at I'm sure she has like social media or something your friend that does it like that I mean I know anybody here in Dallas to do it to analyze - you I took off my lashes I think I put that on Instagram I was showing my son oh yeah I peeled him off and he was like that is so freaky that is my kiss the girls like to put them on well there's no after video shoots or whatever they come up they like to like oh my gosh well there's an old Fresh Prince of bel-air episode okay okay so they get stuck in the basement or something I have to find this incident they get stuck in the big white hair was okay they get stuck in the basement it's will and the girl when she starts taking her hair what happened to you that's the things that women do snow so here's what I love about you what I love about you is that you're real but what I really love about you is that you are a real Jesus lover but what I love about you even more than the fact that you are real and that you really love Jesus is that you're a pastor's wife I am and you don't fit any kind of whatever people think of pastor's wife is supposed to be good good you don't you don't fit so okay have y'all always been in ministry what was this like after marriage oh this is what we're gonna do kind of thing no so when I met my husband Aaron when I first met him I was not walking with Jesus and so we were just friends and then we end up getting married was yeah yeah he was already working at a church everything and we ended up you know fast forward years got married and he was on staff at a church working in the student ministry okay so we were like student ministry which means we went like to the beach and runs flags and all the other stuff we were young and said then but I also had a really hard time being a pastor's wife I was 23 I've been a lot of perceived expectations on myself but you thought you knew what a pastor's wife look like a lot of pastor's wife needed to have heart no sin in her past okay like no like crazy stuff and remember I didn't probably you sounds like 21 right no I didn't read it still started yes yes yes sixteen so I thought I couldn't have any of this stuff and if I did I definitely couldn't talk about it right because I perceived pastors wives as having it together how did you together his wife image have a look I had no I don't even think like this man I just think of what it looks like I just think it was very I thought very put-together dress very nice yeah everything's perfect and so I think I've put a lot of that on myself and so we left and we lived in Tennessee for five years and then we moved back to Texas is for Aaron to take a job at a church you and I are see like I don't know if I want to be a pastor's wife and so we came in and I was like I will not put that pressure on myself I didn't and I've never felt it at our church ever like great I think a lot of our church couldn't even name the wives of the staff like you know we're just like yeah yeah and so you think that that has helped okay have you ever why does it's helped your ministry but Dean how has it helped your ministry specifically and had you ever felt like it's hurting for you just being who you are in me like this is who I am maybe some people say it turned it I don't know but I mean you haven't felt that I haven't felt that but I always detail Aaron I'm like let me know if I'm gonna do anything that might give you trouble when I created my show called the happy hours like is this cool like you know I know that you're a pastor but I think it's helped a lot because people the image that I had a pastors wives I think people have of them you know what you initially outside the church yeah and so then I feel like when I'm just like oh I can just totally be real and I might accidentally say a curse word they're like oh you're real your love with all that you have and life is hard sometimes in man and the flesh is still the flesh it is sometimes just the flesh yeah and so I think just being real has helped people see the walking the life as a christ-follower does not equal perfection yeah because we don't get that until we see him that's it I mean we strive to be holy but the problem is is when we expect holiness 100 at all times for everybody because we were always disappoint ourselves well always we are always going to send until we meet Jesus and do we want to continue 10% sake absolutely not our goal is to look more like Jesus every single day but we live in our flesh right like you said and the flesh will always be at war with our spirit and no one's going to no one's gonna conquer that unless you're Jesus and we're not here's what I think I think my story gives me grace and it gives me a different kind of different kind of grace for people who don't have it all together yeah and my my heart is to make people feel at ease not comfortable if change is what God wants to do and that's what he always wants to do but not uncomfortable enough to get what they need to get help to be honest and be real if you know what I'm saying and I think that sometimes because I did grow up in church I think that non-christians and Christians are like that's what you feel I can't I can't say I messed up I can't say this is where I came from because if I do they're gonna judge me it's gonna change the relationships that I have and prevent me from the relationships that I want so I just think your own experience once you realize what God has done for you and you realize where he has brought you from it can either make you very judgmental to other people or it can make you super grace giving because you just know what you need it yeah yeah I know what you need it and I think we all have individual stories and I always say stories change the world I'm agent Gaad wrote the entire scriptures are full of stories and I think that it is such an honor when I sit back you're like my life in your life and if you're you know watching and you share your story then when we get the opportunity to share our story we're actually the good parts and the hard parts and the bad parts we're actually sharing this huge story of redemption yeah because our stories that's what they are they're a huge story of redemption and so when I get to share with someone hey let me tell you some of the things I struggled with when I was 21 and one's a walk with Jesus and hey let me tell you some of the things I struggle with right now as a 38 year old woman who loves Jesus v8 yeah I don't like it though do it right I think it just I think it just shows it it's like offering people for you mm-hmm yeah you know it's like really like when you share your story it just it's like oh I can breathe lady yeah just offer somebody else freedom that they don't have to feel like they're like in this box and can't be it yeah yeah yeah cuz I think too what you get into is that people who have a past share their story and then that lives people who don't have a story going well you know just didn't have to come and get me out of the miry clay I've actually been following him since I was five I mean but when you have that story then you probably have avoided a lot of consequences a lot of unnecessary paint and that story matters to you don't say everything so Matt whenever I talk to people they're like man I didn't really do anything that bad and I was like yeah you did you were I said like on our best day but you know how you breathe no I know yes but I always want to tell people that say that like we do like Jesus rescued you because without him you'd be lost in yourself in your little white lie exactly even of a white living bed they matter it was Jesus having to rescue you because none of them none of it was good yeah yes okay so pastor's wife real love of Jesus with really great eyelashes I love this all okay what are you passionate about right now what am i passionate i this conversation that we're having makes me really really passionate really encouraging women that no matter where you're coming from no matter what baggage you have no matter how you feel not worthy enough that you still had the greatest opportunity than what Jesus change their lives and and that Jesus is chasing people like Jesus is running a new day yeah he is in the business of bringing people home and so I'm super passionate about that I love encouraging women to do big things okay yeah I love I love when someone comes in and they're like ham dreaming about this yeah I'm like yes you can do it like I want to be a cheerleader and say yes you can do it another thing I keep talking about lately is there's this huge kind of like scarcity mentality and my women sometimes explode making me I'll explain what I mean is that some people come to me and be like Jamie I wanna start a podcast is that weird that I want to start a podcast kind of like yours and I'm like are you kidding you jump in yet oh yeah women there aren't they are good idea - yeah the room for my boys is there room for me or I don't want to do that because she's doing that I don't like a threat yes and I wouldn't be like no I'm gonna cheer you on if you want to start a show called the happy hour with winter pits do it winter goes I want to encourage my men that you can do big things don't look around and think well I could never do a video series because crystal does that yeah well yes you can it's a big world number one yes and then all of us have circles of influence I have a circle of influence that you don't have a circle of influence that I don't have if we don't work our own circles then we are we're robbing our our world of what we're supposed to give yeah what I think and even more than that is just really being the person to support like one other thing that I love is that when I was starting with tween girl ministry stuff it was like don't really wanna be touch to her she does the same thing like and I was always just welcomed and kind of like yes let me help you I can show you what was intense no competition right and that like as always just stuck out to me as what you're saying just like yes I want to cheer you on and help you because there are a gazillion of us and we all need it but if we're all not getting it from the same channel so your voice matters yeah like our voices matter your voice matters everyone has a voice and it matters and I think a lot of times women to look around and think like oh man I wish I was doing what crystal was doing it I wish I had the people the influence that she has over people and when I hear that and see that what I see right away is that you're basically saying god I don't like what you put in front well oh I wish I had her I wish I could do what she was doing instead of saying God you've given me this ministry whether that is your four children or is the four-year-olds in school class at church or it is a Bible study every Wednesday morning whatever it is God you've given me this am I going to say I don't like them I wish I had those ladies that's so it gave me an example of how recently like what does that look like tangibly with you encouraging women I mean besides the general you meet a girl and she says that or whatever like how are you actively and intentionally doing that right now I feel like I do that through the podcast a lot that are probably my main way of reaching women because I've reached the most amount of women and so I would say through the podcasts I mean I have a different guests on every week and so I get to encourage them and what they're doing and I get to say hey all my listeners look at Krystal look at winter look at whoever's on the show and look at the great things they're doing and so that's fun for me it's 2k like hey I'm gonna cheer you on for a whole hour I love doing that and then you do it for a half hour too I do it forever yes why did you start the podcast like top give me give me a behind-the-scenes not a yeah I just thought this would be a cool thing to do which maybe you didn't even think that way but like what what made you do it so I've always kind of wanted to have a job in front of people and that sounds really weird and it can make me look like a really shallow person no I didn't know what to do with a microphone yeah thank you absolutely perhaps that I used to really like dread saying that out loud but there's a part of me that I just feel comfortable in front of people yeah okay so because you don't want a microphone that's not your like like give you the microphone I don't know you don't know don't want I would rather a microphone to talk to you a general than like these like one-on-one like attack like this like okay so it's the general thing the one-on-one okay yeah okay yeah okay so I always like when I was younger I wanted to be a news anchor or okay something like that is wanted to yes but it just didn't ever feel like it was in my reach very long story short about six years ago I won a contest look where I live in Austin Texas to be a morning DJ on radio show a country radio station just random it was I mean it was one of content I've worn it was like American Idol for Austin ears Austin so I want to contest Friday morning I'm like stay home mom Monday morning I'm on air at 6:00 a.m. I had no clue what I was doing not include for one day felt for a Jo be shut okay alright so now I'm a working woman yeah and so I have this job and I'm doing this and I adore it how we love it how many kids like what were you who had all four kids okay my to my last two kids to join our family through adoption had only been home about a year from Haiti so I start working and I'd loved it I mean it was so much fun and it was like this so you're not looking at the audience is simply went yeah but you know there are people listening right and so it was so much fun but about four months into it it was the hardest how my marriage had ever been my kids were just our family was drowning it was just it was disaster for our family and so I ended up quitting mm-hmm and I I I would do the decision again 100% I knew it's what God wanted me to do but but it was hard because I thought why do I have my job yes I becoming this mess with the people I love yes it was the first time in my life that's like a 31 32 year old woman where's like I found something I'm good at yeah and I like it and I have a voice and I was an only Christian in the room like why am i why I want to quit this but I did and it was the best decision I can't stop like smiling at that because I love how that works I just because they always see the end you know not the end but we see what he do and from now my gosh so it just makes me so like just thinking like you know he planted that desire in you and just because it wasn't that specific way that it was supposed to look like you he just you're obedient and I'm from that obedience of laying down something you loved like he just was able to really do and open up what he was like so Jude the real answer yeah and so I just and I don't know that I would have started a song house I never done that yeah I know because I found this love for that kind of medium of audio and interviewing and so I quit and that was I was kind of bitter about it a little bit and there at one point they asked me to come back and my husband said I don't think you should and I was yes it's like I felt like people were holding me down my kids my husband Oh God ijuin where they're trying to do the right thing yes because I know there's a friend of mine who is basically being a caregiver she's taking care of her mom mmm she's single she feels the exact same way all the things that she's not doing all of her friends are going on a Friday night she can't because she's trying to do the right thing so when you're trying to do the right thing and it means you have to tell yourself no that's the real feeling that's hard that's a real fence I really did feel as though no one's letting me do what I can do well you know believe me yeah yeah so I did that and went home and you know life was live State your mom and I actually went on a mutual friend of ours Kat Lee's podcast we inspired to action and I was a guest on her show just telling this whole story of the radio there was I mean that was how it ended right there I quit like that was the end of my story you know it's so but after I got done with her show I thought to myself I think I could do what she just did yeah yeah thanks for about six months later I just jumped Mike no girl you don't even want to know well yeah I've used my iphone Henny but you can start somewhere I tell people that all the time yeah they think that you have to have all the equipment and you have me I know everything and and when God put something in your heart to do you just do it just hey you don't try to have I'm talking to myself all of the 20 things that are you just in every story that we'd love to hear how God does something in someone's life he he does something with someone who's willing to work with what he's given them every single time yeah every single time yeah yeah every single time okay so you did the podcast and when you started it was your goal for it at the beginning steal your gold now it has it morphed it changed at all you know I always say we have three basic things that if this happens on every show it's a success but I think I've developed those pretty early on but not the beginning I mean when I started you just were like I'm gonna lose your first guess did you have other just you talking no it was my best friend Amy who she is no platform she's a mom to three and runs a special needs horse ranch I mean she just does her life did we talk to it for an hour because I'm trying to highlight this it was yeah it was just like talk to me me and my girlfriend it was like we had a regular phone call you recorded it and then put it up on iTunes but then my next guest was my friend Jen Hatmaker so she has a platform yeah Betty not Betty never so when I started it was just kind of like a hobby like this'll be fun yeah my husband thought it was a hobby I thought oh so you start out intentional I'm shooting have these gold you didn't do that you do those developed along the way along but now we say on each show if we incur its show if we encourage women in whatever stage their life thing they're in if we inspire them to do big things and we point them to Jesus if we've done those three things on your job we've done our job okay I love it I love it okay what are you working on now what am i working on now I know the answer to this so I'm working on a book that's it all right okay you guys have both you're ahead of me I'm like in behind you saying tell me what to do but I'm working on a book it comes out next January so you actually turned in yes you're maybe I have turned in a manuscript that is so that was the weirdest thing ever to put everything in one document and see it's like 51,000 words that I wrote okay then I would totally remember what I wrote are you fifty thousand words was your eighteen thousand was my goal went over like that I did go over you're alive I think I wonder I hear a lot of people are struggling for words you went over I bet she wrote three books I was like can I borrow three and then I'm out of words they tried to get me to say you know save this for another book and I was like no it goes into this one and now I'm afraid I read a book that's too long because I picked up a 300 page book off my shelf I'm like dang that's a big I will say though with that whole like save it for the next I remember Priscilla actually selling me that just don't because I went over will be into him to cut it whatever and she just said don't get rid of him like keep it and it was it was I had when I went to book to like it was you asked some already yeah smart just it's but it's mantis so that why are you writing a book why my heart oh yeah it's called if you only knew makes me want to go know what the funny thing is yesterday my girlfriend Amanda sent me a picture that she saw my book cover it freaks you out and I was like she's not online yeah so we can go look at I need my phone like is that but I got stomach ache and I thought oh my gosh they're actually gonna release this yeah words we're all gonna read them like it's fine the content waitress when doing the work wasn't enough now it's for real quick immediate yeah we can y'all go back and greet or even listen to you but I have a hard time watching listening or reading anything that I've done like you mean like safe driver yes like once it's I just need so you see get it have better why I don't know it just kind of maybe it's that whole it just makes me a little like I would rather just forget that happen to like Joe just kind of but that didn't you're speaking and we do all speak to people who pick up your book they want to hear you talk more about what they read or if you speak about it they're gonna go is that in your book they all a on they want to continue the conversation that they've started with you one way or the other so I don't think you can do that no you can't no it makes me feel like like I have a hard time reading it or see it or like just kind of I just have a hard time so don't have it that's just me I don't feel like well I'm in the middle of edits and I am sometimes looking at it there's I do two things one thing I'll be like oh gosh I'm glad they fix that that's awful good so frustrated and just overwhelmed and then I was I was so glad when I went in because a lot of what you do going back to what you said earlier it's all about your voice yeah and even an editor with great editing skills that's trying to make you eat ology sometimes the way you said it or what you said yeah you meant to leave that in then maybe it's supposed to shock people or take them on a little bit of an emotional roller coaster or just tell them about it the way you would say yes yeah and you have to you have to let your voice be brave enough to let your voice be your voice yeah yeah so have you enjoyed the book writing process the book writing process was really hard for me um for several reasons I would say book writing like some people are like writing is their first gifting yeah it's not my first giving I'm much more comfortable with a microphone that type of thing so that was it was a very like took a lot of work on my part yeah very much dedication and discipline whereas some things come easier so there's that it also is kind of memoir --is-- so I went back a lot and told a lot of hard stories and so I would go back and I would be emotional from them I did a lot of writing where I went away just because I have a podcast and I have a that kind of job and do admit I have a job my house right so going into my office to write was really hard for me because I would start doing others do so I went away and when I would go away I would get really emotional I would eat like a lot of fried pickles Doritos organized and nasty and then I was and then I would write and be very emotional and I every time every single time I went away I'd call my husband say I want to come home I need I needed him I'm like I just need you to hug me like well I needed I needed love a little bit because I don't even know why but so it was really really hard emotionally but I think I had to do that okay give us the the book is about so it's called if you only knew and it is my and it's my unlikely and unavoidable journey towards freedom and so by no means do have I accomplished freedom because like we said we will be free the day we meet Jesus but I am way more free than I've ever been in my life with sharing my story owning my story seeing Jesus and the hard parts of my story not being embarrassed to say things out loud out loud to other women and when when I married my husband he was a pastor I was the first girl he ever kissed and I had been sexually active 16 so he comes to the altar just ready just raised me he was like thanks for picking me up so I came into our marriage feeling very like I didn't know that Jesus loved me he had forgiven me and cleanse me tonight I feel that way you still got to work Jenna I felt like I was like a bad choice for my husband I felt like that sin was constantly hanging over me my choices and so I brought so much shame into my marriage and I think that you were putting on yourself myself like he wasn't doing that oh no it's just you know we walked with Aaron wasn't been on me Jesus definitely wasn't on me it takes that away from us but I just put on myself and it hurt me in ministry and hurt my marriage to hurt me in parenting it hurt all kinds of things and so it's my journey I've kind of owning my story and owning Who I am yeah I cannot have been talking this whole time this whole time and neither one of y'all before we started or this whole time we've been talking told me to take this doggone band honest I didn't know you somebody watching this would be like she did not even realize that she had this on her you know they had these bracelets now that you put your hair band in so that you can keep them without it being yet no I need mine off because it bothers my watch but I think it's great to eat when it's here to help so I'm gonna ask you something because you said you went away to write okay and so I know that you have done something recently that helps other people go away oh right huh so tell us about you now own a retreat center that's okay tell us what do you know it's not just me my husband and I and another couple okay and then another man who's kind of silent a silent investor shall we say so we love hosting we love homes in totality your events you're doing you're back your honor our events in my house we do a lot of things our house my husband I'm he brings his full worship team to our house like we have a big fourth of July party I should invite you all to it's got we got bouncy houses and all kinds of stuff so we love hosting live hospitality but does he cook for those yes that's how you there said I'm gonna get my yeah he cooks and I just walk around handing out drinks and food and you know all the cups up so we love it our friends that we bought the place with Brighton know a lot they also we are so much alike in this way they've been dear friends of ours for about five or six years and another we knew it we know about this place we've been here it's called Green Acres mm-hmm and the previous owners of Green Acres texted my husband Aaron last year and said hey we're thinking about selling we don't want to put on the market we want people who will love it and care for it because y'all have been doing what God has put on your heart to do when they got ready to sell they called you yep it wasn't it goes back to your point about just doing the next thing and how God just shows that with you do it yeah so we've been doing this forever and now we have we own a place and it has yurts on it do you know what yours are no no you don't know spell it yd r TZ y view RT this is so fun I didn't Instagram P so maybe I've seen them it's just easy you know it okay yes I seen it's a teepee why is it called a here I don't know why don't we just call it you I'm telling you tonight thank you I mean there's like a queen bed and twin Bell yeah yeah teepees not gonna have all that but in a cloth they're gonna saw a family I think posted a picture cuz illiterate like when you post it on like I don't have like a tiny home it's like a well they they were like a family of five I feel like enjoy a uni and they say chairs that we get at Green Acres y'all can all learn what a yurt is those that were time I tell you something else are you ready yes what happens out at greeny Green Acres is called glamping okay do you know it nope let's keep going with subs we don't land bean would be like glamorous camping or I could do that me too right but it's glamorous because you're in a yurt bathroom so you have a nice thing but it's a nice it was nice it looks really cute we have like organic like this 8000 count sheets I mean so this is Dwayne me this is and y'all are gonna do what's the what is the vision for this this and it was already glamping yes but the family that but they owned it lived on girls none of us look there so it's a full like Airbnb you can find our urban being you can check it out and just stay there so so it has a full kitchen I mean it is just a place there's no internet so it is a place to literally go and just rest and unwind and yeah just be which Holly doesn't that sound nice yes yeah why you gonna wait away which is why I went away to right now okay I hope you're enjoying this conversation between Jamie winter and I but this is the part of the conversation where I told you at the beginning it might be a little controversial I want you to know that I know that for some of you this topic might be controversial but I think we have to be free to have conversations about everything even where we might not see eye to eye and that is the key word I want you to remember as we go into the cynic segment freedom the word is freedom not only do we have freedom and God freedom in Christ and freedom to live out our walk in him but we have to give each other the freedom for God to do a work in us and to convict us about whatever he wants to convict us of based on his words so that said whether you agree or disagree whether you agree with us or see this topic totally differently we're free remember that and I'd love to hear from you in the comments as you watch this section so tell me what you think I'd love to hear from you okay here we go which is why I went away too right yeah because I could not do it in my house as you can yeah too much other stuff happens in the house it's like a trigger it's like dishes laundry [Laughter] we're celebrating we're glamping and glamping you can drink wine you don't to drink like nasty like hot cocoa with your kid Delana fit did you keep any flack from your happy farming no I had my the only one that's really gonna take us another winter you take over sleeping out sick my friend in Akron Garza taught me that that you have to sit after you clink or else I won't say it on camera but something will happen no is this adult only I mean I can't control people do with it we have orange in it this is adult only less she said if you don't clink after you drink you'll have bad sex I'm just saying that's what she told me I'm just telling you everything I told me I was a napa valley and I didn't know I did not know we okay so what was how did y'all go together yes we did we did it's my 40th birthday yes I went to San Francisco I'm 45 this year honey you did not look good they look good it's called they're real and it's a $20 mascara from home oh and it works as - $20 looks good yeah it works okay so I didn't know so we are open at home and we did not drink I think my dad went to seminary actually you had to sign something that is you weren't gonna drink it and I mean so growing up this was like you just don't do that okay so we have discovered that it may not be a Christian thing overall it didn't mean what do you think I actually think is it a South Stream I think the Christian world and it may be more it's either and I don't know which one it may be a mix of denomination and ethnicity I think it's a I think it's a move and I think in the black church culture it's a little looked more looked down upon than in what I found I grew up in a Southern Baptists home and this was like the number sin maybe that's a big steak it's where it all started well I grew up in that you want to be set apart and so you want to be different so you want to be different from the world and no I have not taken any flag and I'm in a completely different place in my life it's Austin is so different but you know what I've discovered two is anger when I would meet friends of college and they grew up Methodist and they love Jesus with everything just like I did you never had these conversations never had these conversations at Methodist Church and just recently for to hear Kay Handel's Messiah and in afterwards their fellowship hall it was wine and cheese yes yes but I was shocking for me and around the world that's different been around it was trying to say that my next thing was gonna be well one I remember saying it when I met you like with the group and you not because this is crazy I know y'all met we didn't talk about so we went to you that I went on a trip to Uganda yeah and I you know I loved you in the beginning because she ordered a burger with gluten-free fries or something that just was no I said I would like a burger with gluten free bread and I'll get crabs and fries and I was like dude this is a gluten-free go with the front I got three I just like gluten-free bread which is another reason why I love you a story because it wasn't that long ago that we took that trip I don't know but you were you know talking about maybe wanting to write a book and you were yeah your hotness was growing but like anyway it makes me like it's just I've been able to watch like God just work through your obedience your plan so no but on that trip though we you know it was like Christian leaders and we at like you don't like and so anyway this is why in the same thing around the world month when we went to like Israel Christian leaders like a champ and it was like when it's okay it's fine I think if cuz what the Bible says is don't get drunk that's what the Bible says I think we have to leave room we have to give each other permission to be free when it's not an issue of sin and if God has not convicted you of something you know and if it's not causing somebody in your circle to stumble we can't be sweatin all this stuff that Jesus didn't you know I mean yeah and we're growing people like you know what when my grandma might come over right and she doesn't like that or if I were to go to her house I would never be like grandma where's the wine you know it's just like it's it's it is smart to to be like kind to the people that we might have a friend who is struggling with alcoholism right I'm not gonna open up a bottle of wine I should right over right right right you know there's a consciousness about it about how we live it's forget this there's a conscious and y'all we were very intentional about this we wanted to talk about it we we have to be conscious about how our lives impact other people but I think what we've done in the Christian world is enslaved each other it's not gonna last become about you know trying to win the loss or truck we've just been like okay here the list of rules and if you're doing that then shame on you yeah and and that's what we've done to each other so we're walking around shackled about stuff that's not even an issue of which is what exactly Jesus taught against when he was walking is all the rules all that all the hypocrisy and the heresy and all of the like binding up of watch watching everybody what they're doing you know and Jesus like I came to fulfill the law and I'm here to make things different so yeah Malaysia okay so go ahead no go ahead no I just want to ask you this because as I was just having my little memory lane thing with you and just kind of like love at EIU like we travel internationally with someone you immediately just you you're honest yeah you like she never gets us excited about me coming I love others so what we know this inherently that's not what I'm saying go ahead [Music] no okay so yes thinking about that I am just curious to what you think like you're kind of a thing like people love you like wheat you know and we love you like I literally was like I'm gonna be like you know it was a big deal so what do you think like does it surprise you or just what do you think it is that people that you have provided for people why do you think you're a thing yeah like oh why don't you don't think it should be a thing but you are a thing well I do you think that is and even just you know what do you think you probably would do you think you have it makes people like like you yeah I'm not only answers I think but I'm wondering what you think I think I'd rather hear your what do you what mister what do you haven't even had people that they are so like that they want yeah here's what I hear from people okay okay so good way to hear from people because my podcast has grown so much in the past year even as I hear from people that they say you're real um you are authentic you make people feel comfortable you don't think too highly of yourself and me I'm just I make a lot of mistakes and you know I mix up my words and I can't even say my artists correctly you know and I don't know why I have a podcast but I think that's what I hear from people I think I just want to be like a safe place to invite people in but sometimes like even hearing you say that it makes me feel like man I hope I can do this ya know I think that was my thing I think it's because you do offer just no realness yes that people feel like they are getting just a real person and the beauty of it is it's not really about you going okay let me strategize and what can I give although you do want to be intentional and excellent and all that it really is just a continuation of everything you've always done which is I just want to offer me I want to offer Who I am if that blesses you I want to offer encouragement if that helps you I want to offer to you what Jesus has done in my life I mean that is the heart behind it so you know that's the good thing about doing and continuing to do what God has put into your heart to do because he put it into your heart and you are the only person who can beat you yeah and that comes from everything that I said that I just struggle with yeah of being like am I am I good enough to be a pastor's wife you're such a big thing for me where I never felt good enough to be that way and now that makes me crack up laughing because that's the dumbest thing I've ever in my entire life and I'm good enough to be a passion baby like it should be like Emma do I love Jesus like am i pursuing my husband in a great way am i a great ministry accent to our church not am I good enough to be it what is that that's a question that we would ask of ourselves and so my journey through that has men be saying like here's where I'm good enough because of Jesus I guess that's that's it period yeah that's great yeah okay so we haven't talked about we have to talk about it before we come to the close you and Aaron have four children but you have a blended family you talked about adoption you also have a multiracial family look the reason why I got to ask you about this is because of story okay so first of all I love her name that's number one yeah but she has story on insta story which I must have missed and so never is the best so story okay so if you don't know you know we women of color we have hair things going on all women have hair things going on we have a little special special extra dough something you do that's a thing okay if you're wondering why we're gonna smoke so if you see my hair straight like this it's just it's not it's gonna turn back it's gonna turn back okay so anyway drive through red dirt in Uganda and everybody else can just go shampoo their hair blowdried I appreciate my straight hair but story was on insta story now you put braids in her hair was she going from braids to no braids is that what it was that time yes so first of all when I have story on it's the story people are like she's my favorite oh my god you were a little excess recently and then she was like no now we're in the south yes oh okay I'll let you tell me if she is God gave me her laughs because when we get to 18 and not being like we make it she's hilarious and she is going to do big things I cannot eat food right at God therefore she for the King know in her own yeah can I just say we say she's gonna believe people to Jesus yeah or we don't know we're you know we're just like guys please let it be Jesus so story we just where's the basal feel like high in y'all white people they're always asking they're always asking about our hair and so she had we do extensions Allah and the rainforest Allah know so she don't we do extensions a lot but then it's softball season so we got that helmet on a lot so we're going in every three weeks to get just corn roses okay so her hair went from long to cornrows okay and she just her hair has not been growing fast her entire life and she's the thing I hear that so she goes from long to cornrow it everybody doesn't understand nowhere else and I said story now you know because we did this last softball season everyone's gonna say stories you get your hair cut she she's like no I didn't get my hair cut and so we went to baseball we went to softball the very first night and we walk up and there she is and all her little white friends really story mom there is starch so I always have to tell us where I was like white people don't understand what you can do with your hair and so it's amazing like if I go who shorted long it takes me months unless I put extensions in but they know it's different for white people and so anyhow I did in story and I was like asking her about what happened and she's just like why people just don't Oh believe I miss telling ya why people just don't get it so has having a multiracial family presented a challenge for you I mean because of that at all yes and no kids present issues but you know have you what is that been like for you yes and no when we lived in Nashville before we lived and also we just had our two kids Kaden who is our bodies are only about logical and then we had our second son that we adopted Deacon who is biracial birth mom white birth deadlocked so living there even with like a biracial son who literally we could be like the same color in the summer mm-hmm if we got one it was awkward sometimes people were like why would you adopt someone who's black and you know so there was that moving to Austin color I have to ask this did you get any looks from black women in the store um I have been in a grocery store Walmart with story on a Saturday morning when my hair looks the fool and her hair looks the fool and I have left spending $185 on product the black woman put into my part for me but here's what I've also learned is I used to people used to ask me all the time do you know how to do her hair and I used to feel guilty for not learning because I thought I'm white I need to know how to do her hair but I have learned that a lot of black women do not know how to do their daughters they're what's a work in progress they paint it have it done if you have a good or they spend a fortune trying new products I have a million products under my kitchen cabinet cuz you gotta buy it to try to see if it works if it worked for you didn't work at me I write up person yeah I tried much of sucker story I think because I grew up this is like so off topic but I grew up with a mother hates me you don't count and so I what are ya even my girls they kind of took John my husband's mixed and so yeah they kind of took it more of his size so they don't fire it as many probably I'm just yeah black-haired woman in your house she's like I don't feel guilty about that anymore I did it first but now I'm like no Gwen we've been with her for six years praise the Lord praise Lord for Gwen so you were asking if it's been yet hard in Austin everything's pretty much a go like it's good now we just recently moved about a year ago and we moved from in the city mm-hmm where my husband myself and my oldest son with a minority in our neighborhood it was predominantly Hispanic and then black and then white and we moved away from there and it was a we had to make a really big call because we moved to get more land to get more space we have four kids we kind of needed to kind of bring a little bit of peace into our life we live in inner city so we need a little bit of peace but what came with that was the point oh one percent no black people at their school and so that's been a challenge for us and that's something that we had to really say because your kids are wrestling is that why they haven't been wrestling that's a challenge but they will well the challenge for me is I know they will but I will never assume that they won't start it wrestle with that I even asked one of my kids each of them have another black kid in their class I'm not sure if the principal does that on purpose or not if he does I'm happy about it I really am because I want my kids to be young people look like them because I can't give that to them so I know they're gonna challenge you're gonna come with like all kinds of challenges like here's an example yesterday one of my boys who he's black and he's 12 and a half and he is starting to look like a man a man as I saw it a man and he was playing around outside like had his pants hanging down joking around and I was like you need to pull your pants off because I think that looks gross right mm-hmm and the thought came to me people are gonna think things about him if he's just playing around at school with this pants like that without knowing him they're gonna make assumptions about him and that makes me sad it's hard for me I have shed tears over how am I gonna parent a 16 year old black boy in a predominantly district white school like what what are people gonna think about him without knowing him and so that's really hard for me and so Aaron and I just you know we Jesus like parenting it's just Jesus you know and so there's all those kind of things and for us trying to really make sure our kids see people around us and leadership trying to figure out what I do and all the parents are trying to figure out whether it's ethnicity wise socio-economic differences or just outside of your own box in your family how to expose your kids you know I have three boys two of which are total engineers no one in my family is the engineering type nobody so I've been trying to seek out other people who that's their thing because I'm like I can't up to a certain point I'm good after that I can't help that so I think that's a misleading point of parenting but I think it's that's what we're all trying to do is figure out how to raise our kids that that's what we can and then expose them to what we don't have to give that you know how to pray that Jesus makes up the difference yeah if you had to have you had things amongst themselves like things that you had to address because they've said certain things or because now even in the new school that they have come home with just new opinions or comments to each other regarding race or do they even if not like what is the yes I was about to say no but then yes my daughter was she's in third grade and she was super sad a couple weeks ago and I was like what and you know and she told me that she was walking behind these two boys at school and you know third grade like they say dumb things right and one of the boys said kids are so me oh my kids your kids you're all kids are me we just got it yes these two boys were walking and they did not know story was behind them and one of the boys said oh you like story like third graders do right and he goes no way she's black oh and so that she came home and told me that and hey I'm white I have no way to relate to that you know but I do have a way to relate to people saying mean things to me or if people not liking me because I'm a woman or you know there's other ways so that's something that happened and that makes me so sad and i i don't bring growing up black to the table so i can't relate to that in that way press a on it so when I hear that because just having four girls like I hear that and I think you know I think because of my family setting my own family set up like my kids have a German grandmother you know anyway we just kind of deal with it a little differently but what I hear is that even you know my daughter who's not even allowed to have a boyfriend but when she came home telling me that her crush did not like her back I still was cut it still and it wasn't that she was white he's like you know why can't just but it still did something in me that I was like what black so I feel like even though that was the race thing I think you can relate to that either right like yeah yeah because I mean when I was in the black school and my black crush didn't like me I was messed up when I was in the white school and Tommy Sullivan didn't like he was white who was white honey I was just as messed up yeah yeah as an adult I think I had a dream about Tommy's I hate that time to sell this there's there's different things you know there's there's a Ledge for me to is like I don't ever want to put on that it's race but I'm white so I don't ever want to not say it is either you don't know I'm saying like sometimes I feel like I don't have the opportunity to say that's not because she's black one of the greatest things that I've learned in parenting period is that it helps every single time when you're not sure most of the time we want to give them the answer and really the greatest gift in parenting is just to ask them questions and let them tell you and to know that and for them and know that you're there when they're ready to talk I'll never forget about 7:00 till me I go to each kid and I try to sit there she said it makes for a long bedtime and I said there for five minutes and I just rub their feet and most of the time particularly when the boys are teenagers they will not talk to me but the thing is they know I'm coming and when they're ready to talk to me they know I'm going to show up I'm going to rub their feet and they can tell me what they need to tell me when it's time I haven't never never forgotten that that half of the battle and hearing what's on your kid's heart is one asking questions and to being like clockwork showing up so they know they can depend on you you need to talk so half of the things we don't even have to know the answer for we just need to be there to help them out Lana need to discuss I tell you what I won't be doing that is rubbing any of my kids feet under the covers you can do it under the cover okay okay I just did seven times five that's a long bedtime thirty five minutes was a long bedtime but you know Mike you could leave the birthday but I mean I agree though my kids especially one of my kids that is very much introverted and I got a kind of cool things out you know when they come out bedtime mm-hmm what I'm talking yeah that's nice to meet you yeah upset I I mean it's so true yeah I love it I love it I love it this has been such a great conversation I'm like is there anything else I want to ask the infamous Jamie Ivey while she's sitting here on this island at winters house but I'm so grateful that you came and I hope this has been fun this just didn't so much fun that's why I put out the wine because we wanted to make you feel like it was fun even if it's it was fun I have to cease without me all its uses enjoyed okay your book tell me again yeah comes out January 30 and marriage it doesn't make me okay which Holly it's gonna come quick honey let me tell you yeah it's gonna come quick it's good and from here on out you thought the big thing was writing it it's all the other milestones because there's gonna be a deadline every okay good that's not what I asked you yeah so you cuz you I started when I forgot so you have the the read of a manager yeah the most bit well just kind of this is turned in you are in the middle of edits mmm-hmm what's next do you know what's next you're doing your events I'm using my events I don't have a what's next after that okay I have some dreams I think we all I hope I'm always looking at what's next right sometimes I think how long can we do the happy hour a long time you cut me Oprah win for 25 years did you listen to the podcast make you know I have mastered making up where the podcast was so good I mean but yeah actually you're right thank you she went for 25 years I got 25 years in me you have a lot of things in you yeah absolutely sure about that we're all trying to figure out how you do it all in the what but it is I mean you just are living passionately about the things that God is put in front of you and it sounds like you have what I know you to just off of this so you you work really really hard to put your family first yeah stay unplugged when it's time to be and you're just very intentional with your time and I think that so many people don't realize how hard you have to work not to do the work but how to be intentional about all the rest of your time so you have time to do work it's so true my husband and I just talked about this the other day is that sometimes when the outside our life can look really busy he trouble son I trouble son he has this I had this he's releasing a book I'm loose a book it can seem like there's a lot but I tell you where you can find me most Monday through Friday is that the baseball feel with my kids dinner around the table with my kids we're not gonna come to your event I can't come to your happy hour I can't do dinner on a third like we really don't do a lot of stuff so that you can show that we're with our people so when I'm because when I'm here today in Dallas you know where I'm what I always say people talk about like how do you do it at all you know what when I'm in Dallas you know what I'm not doing I'm not feeding my kids dinner tonight right I'm not parenting I know I'm doing my job and so I try really hard to be invested in those other ways thank you thank you thank you if you stuck with me this long I'm so glad you did and I hope you enjoyed getting to know Jamie Ivey a little bit better and of course getting to know more about my cousin in winter one of the things we as her family know for sure is that when she made it into Heaven's Gate she got it well done yes she loved her husband yes she loved her girls but in addition to that she had a ministry called for girls like you that ministry is still going back when her girls were smaller she created a magazine with them in mind for her girls and for their friends it's a magazine aimed at tween girls ages 8 to 12 if you've never heard of that and you have a tween girl or you know the tween girls check her out for girls like you org you'll be glad you did now if you haven't subscribed to my youtube channel and you don't want to miss any more videos like this be sure to subscribe and while you're at it click on the bell of it every time there's a new video you'll be notified thanks for watching this show [Music]

Channel: Chrystal Evans Hurst

Views: 24,218

Keywords: Jamie Ivey, Wynter Pitts, The Sister Circle, The Sister Circle Show, Chrystal Hurst, Chrystal Evans Hurst

Id: C1hJIZoZgy4

Length: 68min 36sec (4116 seconds)

Published: Thu May 23 2019