Rubber Sticky Hand. Bob Smiley

back then I used to have a DD really bad and I was really hyper and um and so in fact one time my parents took us into a bigger town to the see how one gonna tell this story to just popped in my brain the kiddie casino the place where kids gamble chuck-e-cheese yes as a casino for children they don't even hide it anymore you got to go through a turnstile there's no clocks in the wall there's a six-foot mafia rat walking around him handing out tokens so my parents dropped me and my brother off I did really well at the skee-ball table that night I left 200 tickets up and so now we know who gambles and I'm not judging you because I gamble III gamble today actually I had Chinese food and the house is gonna win em anyway but when I cashed out I got one of those rubber sticky hand things and this is just an example of how I used to get in trouble all the time so my parents pulled up and they picked us up you know I'm talking out with the rubber sticky hand thing yeah so I got in the backseat oh I need to set up my dad a little better again I wouldn't plan on telling this story but my dad would always look for weird ways just to mess with me like who's my favorite ones he told me we were too poor to afford a dog so if a burglar broke in I needed to bark at him and I loved it that was one of my favorite pranks he pulled on me because it backfired on him because it happened my freshman year in high school my dad was the superintendent of schools and this kid who graduated didn't like my dad so he broke into the middle of the night he was gonna steal our TV but I didn't notice the kids so I'm scared to death right I was I was a freshman I'm laying it bad going what am I gonna do I'm only 17 and so judgmental up here anyway hey I pulled the covers off and I crept down the hallway and I heard this guy but I didn't know it's a kid and I peeked in and saw it was the kid and then all of a sudden I remembered what my dad said and I don't know why I did this but I just ran into the living room and I just went [Laughter] it worked you got to do it it was awesome he just froze then he let me smell his hand backed out of the living room my dad came in he's so proud of me came over me rub my belly so so that's that's my dad so my dad always was looking so I got in the backseat of car and my dad pulled out on the freeway and my dad says the rule you don't talk to him why he's driving cuz because he's not a good driver um I feel bad cuz he'll probably watch this and I love my dad he's like my hero but he is not I'm actually a worse driver but my dad's really bad that's true too I just want to be honest I'm always trying to be honest and on stage and stuff but I I've been in two wrecks this year already and the last one it was so embarrassing nobody was hurt but I hit the what's know what's know is the vehicle where everybody gets mad at you when you hit it got a bus that's cool I had to ride the school bus in high school though and Oh hated that little thing [Laughter] no what's the vehicle where everybody get ooo a hearse they were mad they all jumped out of their cars like everybody just calm down huh I didn't kill him but my dad has the rule that you don't talk to him when he's driving because he does get very frustrated it's kind of funny when he gets crushed frustrated because my dad is a Christian both of my parents are awesome Christians and but when he gets mad he doesn't cuss which I'm proud of him for but he he uses substitution words I don't know if you'd do that yeah so great and my dad uses words from the Old Testament seriously but one time he slammed his hand at a car door he was like oh shadrach Oh son of a bed nago so read your Bible children ah so we're driving down the road and and my dad and so he has to rule you don't talk to him but my dad leaned over he turned on okay and I hope this doesn't offend anybody but let me finish the story before you decide he turned on country music okay that's the part I'm worried I don't yeah the country music fans see I'm not against country music at all okay but there is actually I wrote a country music song last year called if I can't be number one in your heart the number two on you that's gonna be a hit song I just got to learn how to twerk anyway so but the country music and my dad put on was his mindless get in the middle your brain and eat your brain from the insight you don't talk about like Liang Liang Liang Liang like that so we're driving down the freeway and I'm like oh this is terrible and I felt like you did it just to see what I was gonna do but he had the rule you don't talk to him when he's driving and I obeyed my parents I was a good Christian kid and so sit in the back he's like oh how I wish I could say something I wish I could Hey and I had a rubber sticky hand thing so I thought to myself I bet you I could sling that between my mom and my dad and hit a radio button and change the channel you gotta admit that's pretty smart so I immediately he prayed about it you always pray before you do any kind of mission work so I didn't know if it work or not but all sudden I was like like that not only did the hand go straight between my mom and my dad it went right up to the radio and it hit my I was allowed channel number two to put anything in and I had it was 97.1 the Eagle which is a rock channel out of Dallas Texas so we're driving down the road and all sudden the radio goes from ylang ylang ylang ylang to welcome to the chili my dad was like it was in a guy's voice [Music] [Music] it was way way too high but no my dad was wigging out because he didn't know I had this hand thing all he knew was a weird voice all of a sudden came out the radio my parents later told me they thought Satan had possessed the radio and my parents are ultra conservative Christians and so when they thought Satan had possessed a radio they started doing things I'd never seen my very conservative Christian parents do my dad started laying hands on the radio praying over it my mom I don't even know if you guys know this term but she tried to talk in tongues and you could tell she was faking she was like oh but I'm also shut about Honda so I was like boom boom back in my hand back in my pocket my dad finally grabs the steering wheel he's like oh my goodness what happened which meant I got away with it I was like yes my brother was like he did it shadrach so my dad didn't even ask me what I did he said I don't even care what you do I don't care what you did don't ever do it again and I promise you I will babe my parents so when he said don't do it again I wasn't going to do it again but and I think every adult in this room about me a Billy Ray Cyrus song came on right then I think even on Judgment Day God's gonna go yeah totally understand why I didn't why your Achy Breaky had to hear that tune again so I took out the rubber sticky hand thingy I was like I gotta try this one more time sauce and it's like like that not only was that hand going straight back up between my mom and my dad it was going right back to channel number two I was like here we go again it didn't happen though because my brother who is not a comedian I want to point that out he thought it'd be hilarious to bump my arm right as the hand got by my dad's face let's recap this story shall we he doesn't know I have this hand thing so now all he knows is a big gooey hand has now reached out of the seat [Laughter] and grabbed him which would really scare you especially if you thought Satan had just possessed your radio so he starts streaming a demons got me a demon's good for me he grabs the hand he throws it up against the wind chill it splats up huge he's like oh my goodness he rolls down the window grabs it throws it out I scare him even more by going my hand I remember thinking it can't get worse than this my brother turned around it cuz that is so cool I landed right in the center that cops windshield hey did you know that drive our comedy has their own 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Channel: Dry Bar Comedy

Views: 198,265

Keywords: Clean Comedy, Dry Bar Comedy, Stand Up Comedy, Worlds Largest Library of Clean Comedy, Bob Smiley, Bob Smiley Dry Bar Comedy, Bob Smiley Comedy, Bob Smiley Comedian, Dry Comedy Bar, Dry Comedy Stand Up, Clean Stand Up, Clean Stand Up Comedian, clean stand up comedy, clean stand up comedy 2019, clean stand up comedians, clean stand up comedy full, Clean Stand Up Comedy Clips, Rubber Sticky Hand, Short Bus, Country Music, Welcome to the jungle, radio, dad driving

Id: 7gpgh-LZMVw

Length: 10min 3sec (603 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 13 2019