Bob Smiley - Liberty University Convocation

hey real quick today I think it's fun that we get to have a comedian in a writer right after this very somber moment Craig who was good friends with Rick said this he said Rick Elias would love it that the morning that we recognized him we would have a comedian that's exactly what he'd want at a memorial service for him and the beauty of that is that laughter and tears are an expression and really and an opportunity of worship and the sad thing is a lot of times our tears are such a exposure of what's going on on the inside and our tears can be rooted out of selfishness where we felt like injustice was done to us or embarrassment came down to us and a lot of times sadly soaked in our laughter our laughter can be an act and an outward expression of something that's vulgar or demeaning but that doesn't mean that God is against it God is a God of Tears and God is a God of laughter and the Bible is clear that that laughter right can be good medicine to our soul and what I appreciate about Bob our guest today is that he's very he's one of the very best at not just being clean as a comedian but being smart as a comedian and being just one of the best out there who diligently has just gone out there and and just brought joy to people's lives I met Bob about 10 years ago at a conference and I sat in the back of the room and watched him just own the room he's so talented as a comedian but more than anything else then I watched him come offstage and he spent time with every single person who wanted to to meet him every kid who wanted to take a picture and so onstage and offstage he just seems to be a real genuine leader his wife is with us as well we're so honored to have you here but hey can we put our hands together for my friend your friend come on everybody Bob Smiley's in the house oh man what an honor to be invited here I am Bob smiley or as most of you probably refer to me not John Chris now it's totally fine I am a comedian I wasn't always a comedian I actually was a stay-at-home dad for a little while but then no but then we had kids and had to get out of there but it is it's such an honor to be able to be invited on the campus Lynda Pastor David called and asked me I was very excited because at the time I didn't know what the term pro bono meant so now I have known David forever and I don't even think of you as a friend I think of you closer than that man I love you I think I've been kind of like a great-grandfather so is he laughing oh no it is we almost didn't even make it my wife is over here we almost didn't make it we flew into the Lynchburg International Airport gasps grocery souvenir bait-and-tackle shop yeah week four flying over I was like look at that little I wanted to give it a hug and and we almost didn't make it on the plane because I live in Houston we stopped at the library because I wanted yeah did you guys if people from Houston did you go through hurricane Harvey like wasn't it a weird deal but it was cool to see the community good I spent the next two weeks after the hurricane you know moving stuff out of houses or what cops call looting and but we did we flew out of here I stopped to the library to get a book I'm a big reader and I got kicked out of the library last night before we got on the plane which is weird because they followed me out they were like you can't yell in the middle of the library who knows like then don't put pop-up books in the library kind of bait and I was like oh Daniel in the lion's den so we got on the plane and then it even got worse I got on the plane I was like I don't have a book I'm just gonna sleep but I was walking through first class and there was like this three-foot male flight attendant who was like fresh out of the Shire and no he was an angry Hobbit um he was all I did was grab a pillow out of first class and he immediately grabbed it and he's like these are for first-class passengers you're in coach and you know it's gonna argue but he'd already put the ring on it disappeared and it was weird cuz my wife and I we were sitting in bulkhead which was awkward because the little flight attendant was I don't know what he's so angry but he's just staring at me the whole time you know how they makes the announcements at the beginning he was like can everybody's attention please we represent the Lollipop Guild I know he didn't I am kind of glad he stared at me because I've been flying for over 20 years I've never listened to the rules there's two rules I can't believe they haven't changed on flights one I've never even thought about this they said in the event of a water crash landing you can use your seat cushion as a floatation device okay guys think it through if I'm ever in a really scary crash the seat cushion I was just sitting on wait everybody get it that's gonna get it No Child Left Behind okay the other one is even more dangerous I thought when when the oxygen mask Falls I thought oxygen just started flowing but it doesn't it says to start the flow of oxygen tug lightly on the tube well let's rethink that who's gonna be going 10,000 miles an hour in a mountain going so we did we took off we landed in Lynchburg last night I was very excited my wife has never been to Liberty and you know and I oh and they lost my bags at the airport which was my fault because I flew and they were like we think we'll get him in and I just all that wanted was a toothbrush because I knew I was gonna meet you guys this morning but they were able to get me one last night you guys have an amazing goodwill what now I got a soft bristle um someone's a biter anyway but I was very excited because I do I love God did create comedy if Pastor David is so right like I actually read an article one time that laughter is ten times more powerful than morphine than our strongest drug and God just gave that to us for free like how cool you know I mean don't get me wrong I'm glad God still made morphine let's be honest if I break my leg in half I don't want my doctor standing over me going not not you know huh but it is laughter I actually met a guy in the Lynchburg Airport last night that had no sense of humor I was standing behind him at the ATM and I thought this was hilarious but as soon as he put in this password I just went got it and I took off running he did not look like a sprinter and but it is and I get in trouble all the time like actually I was super excited about this show cuz my show last week didn't go well I actually was in Houston I was doing a Texas national vegan society yeah it was all the vegans in Texas all seven and and I don't think through my show I just get up and talk and and so I was talking my dad backstage and I I didn't even think this part out because I never want to offend anybody I never I always want to do clean comedy I want everybody to have a good time and there's a lot of things you can't talk about like like cuz I do a lot of shows and show you like spankings like you know how you discipline your kids like a lot of people don't want you talking just blend your kids adults that are here today wait okay take two of you spank them the rest of you what just stare at them see it's a hot topic there's so many topics like I'm gonna be honest I've got five boys that I'm raising and I spank my kids when they're bad I do it out of love I do it under control I prayed about it we got the James Dobson strong-willed child book which yeah laughs if you want that helped us a lot because it was thick enough that when I spanked him I told that joke in a church in Michigan one night and this lady came up after the show and she was like you're advocating child abuse you should never spank your children I'm like you're a Christian have you read proverbs where they talk about and she was like that was different that was the Old Testament they didn't have timeout back then and I was like what like yeah they did what was the lion's den huh cuz spankings worked on me that's how I grew up I grew up in a very loving Christian home but there were Tom my dad used to lead singing at our church cuz that's a big difference between my dick my dad and I is our voices too my dad has this deep macho Texas voice and that's what's weird I'm I'm raising five boys and I'm the dad so I'm the protector of the family me I'm the protector first of all I had the wrong body right I weigh 156 I look like I went to a blood bank and forgot to say when so and this is my real voice anybody scared what kind of protector am I gonna be honestly think about if you were a burglar breaking in down stairs and I was at the top of the stairs would this scare you like you better not be down there what is that I'm the only guy that could stand at the top of stairs and go you better get out or I'll call my husband what not my dad my dad has a deep macho voice that's why I used to lead singing a church my dad had a voice that would echo over the neighborhood he used to tell me to do something kids and other households would get up and do it seriously he'd be like take out the trash and kids two doors down would be like yes Lord like so my dad was leaving singing one day and I was sitting down front like right up front and my dad goes on the Snooks song let's stand to our feet and I don't know why I said this but I was like yeah everybody stand to your feet good thing he said that almost stood in my liver yeah we never sang that song yeah it was bad he just shut the book he walked right down he picked me up carried me like a football outside yeah and he's a Tony Romo fan so he fumbled me several times little worried about that one oh no but back to the real story he really did he took me outside and spanked me and and I shouldn't have smart it off to him so I deserved it but it was so embarrassing because it was right in front of my wife and um well I was not talking about that what did that have to do because I was performing for the Texas national vegan society medications working so I did it anyway it was a bad show because I I talked about and again I don't want to offend you guys but like I grew up we grew up very poor like very poor like had to eat cereal with a fork to save on milk and and so we grew up hunting and that's what I wanted to talk about whenever I went out I started talking about hunting because we grew up hunting I I don't know if this offends anybody but I'm a huge hunter and my kids love to hunt I got a ten point yeah we got hunters I figured I was okay here yeah I got a ten point bought this year yeah and it did not mess my truck up like I thought it was going to but I didn't even think through it I went out to this it was a vegan society and I started talking about hunting they started booing they started throwing organic tomatoes and yeah but they're vegan so they weren't strong enough to hit the stage [Applause] no that's a stereotype really we were talking backstage how stereotypes are cuz Pastor David travels a lot I travel a lot we always you know like certain stereotypes you know you say New York you automatically think you know Italian like yeah forget about it right yeah California you know yeah like Surf's Up dude you know you say taxes she automatically think like really good-looking comedian and no I actually was in Canada two weeks ago and there we got yeah you got from Canada yeah you guys are supposed to all be nice and I'm pretty nice but I got into it with the Canadian like we got in this huge fight at Tim Hortons over who was gonna hold the door for who and seriously it was getting heated he was like after you I was like no after you and he just kept on and I was thinking come on he's Canadian and he's not gonna go to war over this and don't boo me he was stereotyping me I had a shirt with the shape of Texas on it so he was looking for my gun and yeah I was moving around a lot in case he tried to give me a free healthcare exam but now it went on forever thankfully somebody from Detroit was there and they came over and stabbed us both I love Liberty Liberty so awesome you got just so much fine it's nice to be able to just say stuff cuz sometimes I get in trouble I actually almost got in trouble III was doing a show about a month ago in a third-world country called how was it called it was a third book a Little Rock Arkansas and I didn't realize they had renamed it to Bill and Hillary Clinton International Airport that's the name of it you guys are getting super icy on me okay calm down Liberty I'm not a political comic I'm not gonna make I will never make fun of the Clintons ever ever hear that I am the last person that wants to wake up with a mysterious self-inflicted gunshot wound that is not made [Applause] this is just a story about me getting in trouble at the airport the airport is so and it's a good Airport I'm not even gonna make jokes about that like it's a all paid staff there's no interns and what no and I didn't even know that it was renamed the Bill and Hillary Clinton International Airport because evidently the vote went on forever and the Russians got involved and this is a true story this is why I got in trouble I got there about 6:00 a.m. I was ready to fly home and I was so tired and the guy was so excited he was like welcome to the Bill and Hillary Clinton International Airport may I see your boarding pass and I couldn't help it I was like oh man they emailed it to me but it got deleted [Applause] I'm glad you guys are laughing because all I remember after that moment was well his hands are cold so it is so we were talking about travel stories and my favorite travel story happened in in Phoenix Arizona I was flying out and this was yeah and this are you from Phoenix anybody yeah okay yeah Wow not the only one that has medication kicking in now I love Phoenix although will you stop with the it's a dry heat okay so is a welding torch I don't want that on my body but I mean this happened years ago but it's my favorite traveling story it was when the iPhone first came out I don't know if you guys remember but the iPhone came out and it just blew everybody's mind cuz you could use it for anything even I was backstage getting ready to come out this morning I was a little nervous so I was using the deodorant app and we I know that joke is cheesy but I like to do it because I always see some people laugh and always see a few people huh does it do that and if you're from West Virginia you're like what's the odorant [Applause] I can't believe you invited me back anyway no it was my favorite this is my favorite story when the iPhone first came out I didn't know how to use it but thankfully my oldest was seven so he did and that's not even a joke but he made a ringtone for me and this farts kind of syrupy sweet but I love being a dad so much and the ringtone that my seven-year-old at the time made for me was hello dad pick up your phone and so I was in Phoenix I was getting ready to fly home and the iPhone was so new I just kept listen to that over and over and there was my time to go through the metal detector so I put my phone in the bag and the TSA guy sees me mess with the bag he didn't even he opens it up he doesn't even see the phone I had a jacket in there but what he saw was and this alarmed him I had a tube of toothpaste and he was like what is this he was like dude that's I didn't know what to say I was like that's toothpaste what are you from Alabama and no that was I said that but it was a joke but he didn't laugh turns out he was which made him even madder and he was like you can't fly with toothpaste and I was like dude he was yelling at me and I was like dude calm down I didn't think it through take it I don't believe me I think I you know I don't want other people jumping up in the middle of the flight brushing everybody's teeth so the thing has that ever happened are their tartar terrorists out there like why would they even are now gargle go all up [Applause] I'm just it wasn't even tart it wouldn't even like terrorists like toothpaste is all I'm saying right I'd understand if it was like a more scope but this is why it's my favorite traveling story he took my toothpaste he's just staring at me he's like I'm keeping this you can go through the metal detectors now and he picked up my bag and he put it on the conveyor belt and the conveyer belt was going in and right as the bag went into the x-ray machine someone called me so all of a sudden you hear coming out of the bag hello dad he was like is there a kid in there I was like calm down he doesn't have toothpaste so but it is I do I love traveling around and I love doing comedy because it allows me to talk about Jesus Christ it allows me to talk about my Savior and that's the most important thing because that's where true joy comes from is having a foundation built on the love that Christ has for all of us in here and all of us watching on the web and we need comedy you know I don't know how many of you guys have followed my story but the last time I was here I was I was in a world of hurt and it was that's why I was so great to be here because it's Liberty they kind of the people that knew what was going on came in and they loved on me and they prayed over me and just real quick not to bring you know this down but I was married for 18 years and oh by the way I got married December 15th I'll tell you a whole story but she's sitting over there and she's an amazing woman of God and she's absolutely very cool but I was married I was married for 18 years and then my wife just left you know she like met somebody else with way bigger bank accounts and and I'm fine with it now because it was a cool testimony of how God came in and so I for about three years I was a single dad and I had three boys that I was raising and and it was it was really it was depressing for a lot of the times but it also was because I've been traveling around the country for years telling people that God could get you through any thing but I'm gonna be honest my life was pretty great up until about four years ago and I've been standing on a mountaintop the whole time and right then when I was here three years ago my kids and I were wandering through the valley and it was so refreshing to be able to stand in front of you guys that day and tell you that God can and will get you through anything in life we saw that we saw how he showed up and he used people he used people like like David Nasser to love on us and pray for us and you know you do hear laughter is the best medicine but after what I went through I can honestly tell you it's vicodin and I know laughter did help us like my kids and I we used to laugh all the time and then we went through a period of time where we did we didn't laugh and the first time we really laughed and I'm not making light of any of this but it is amazing how God will use laughter mine my youngest son at the time Xander came downstairs and he was like hey is to do is a divorce over and I was like yeah why he goes oh there's still some furniture left and yeah he was kidding because there wasn't and but we were trying to look for the positive because that's what God wants us to do because the enemy wants to put a cloud of depression around us you know maybe you're fighting that right now maybe you're sitting in a seat right now fighting going through something let me tell you God can get you through it and the first time we laughed as me and my boys it dawned on us it it's just me and three boys so we now can touch any towel in our house is awesome we don't have non touchable decorative towels anymore and the first time we left and I know this is silly but my youngest son Xander looked at me he goes if it's really over I'm gonna go touch that towel we had a towel in our master bathroom that we were never allowed to touch and he just walked up and he just goes haha sorry Dom oh the next week like our we were running around the house where you're popping each other with towels my oldest son Coulter was standing on the couch going and we laughed for the first time in awhile and God used that to heal us a little bit that's what God does you know God doesn't do this like I just realized I shouldn't appointed um I don't know maybe he does who knows maybe we'll get to heaven and God will be like hey welcome to heaven pick a towel grab a couch make it shine so but here's what God does and I saw it firsthand God shines the brightest light into the darkest places and a lot of times he'll use you as that bright light and so that's why coming here is so important because Liberty will equip you to go out and shine as bright as you can that's why it's important to be in the word I shared that last time to some of my grandmother taught me just read the Bible when you're young and you know make see my grandmother was like it makes me mad that young kids never read the Bible and elderly people are reading it like crazy because you know it's like they're trying to cram for a final and it's so important and God will use you that's I didn't really mean to talk about all this but honestly I thought maybe God couldn't use me anymore I thought maybe like I was just too marked I was too depressed that God couldn't use me and then all of a sudden he started using me and started using my boys immediately one of the greatest things was a month after we had been faced with all the stuff that we had to do I actually got a call from a prison just north of our house and I'd never done a prison before and they were like we know we've heard your story we know you're kind of broken but we know you're getting through it will you come and encourage our prisoners and I'll be honest I was scared to death I've never gone you can only bring your ID and one key and I pick my sharpest key and I also brought my 19 year old son cuz I thought it'd be good for him to see that you know plus if there's a riot I can outrun him suits up I've got four more anyway guys I showed up at that prison not even sure that God could use me and it was so and my son and I were standing in there in the gym and they brought the prisoners in one by one and this is it this is an actual true story the first one in was classic what you were thinking like tattoos everywhere and bulging biceps and I was like miss my grandmother and he walked right up to me and he was like thank you for coming and just speaking to us and I was like dude you don't even know if I'm funny and I'll never forget this he goes I don't care if you're funny or not nobody comes to see yes so the fact that you're here the fact that somebody cares enough is all the encouragement we need and then he got kind of emotional he's like man I'd actually love to hug you if you'll put that key down and and it was so great guys it was just a reminder that God can use us whether we're broken or whether we're on a mountaintop God can use us and we've got to be willing to do that it was awesome to get the prisoners were laughs and so are and they actually made me laugh because I was doing that bit about my voice being really high for a guy and I was like pretend you're a burglar breaking him downstairs and a guy yelled hell don't have to pretend it really was so awesome I kind of ruined it at the end though because I was telling about how how Christ can get you through anything and that we're built for community and then I kind of ruined it because I remembered that the guy that my ex left with actually lived up in that area so I was like by the way if any of you prisoners are getting out soon love to share that address and um and I was joking but the best part was afterwards they lined up to hug me and my son and one of them just leaned in it was like seriously all I need is a name [Laughter] [Applause] so I gave it to him but no I just wanted I just want to tell you man I was here like three three and a half years ago and I was broken but I was still able to go on stage it's still able to make people laugh because God can use all of us no matter what stage of life you're going through God can use you and and that's why we're built for community that's why we need to be in church we need to be around people that just love you and invest in you and you know and it is so I so I did I met an amazing Christian woman about like two years ago I met her can I tell the story we actually it's weird because I used to not to be anybody here on a dating site like whenever I was first single they'd sign me one of my friends signed me up for a plenty of fish com yeah there are plenty of fish and they're all bottom feeders we don't who's going Oh unless you've been on there it is just not it is fake photos you think you're gonna meet Anne Hathaway you show up they look like aunt passed away it is we okay I didn't I didn't ask if I could talk about this but I'm kind of passionate about this because when I became a single guy again I didn't realize all right I'm just gonna say it women if you are supposed to dress for the kind of job you want can you please dress for the kind of man you say you want can that happen when all of a sudden I was single and my kids wanted me to date my kids were like you should date and at first I was like I don't know guys cuz I was I was married for 18 years I was super faithful you know I'm faithful in every relationship when I hang out with Pastor David I don't look at other pastors I don't not like oh I wonder what his sermons like yeah I bet bet he ends on time so I love you so much but anyway I I'm a single Christian guy out in the world and I'm trying to guard my heart and my eyes and I'm just saying women please realize like I got so tired of seeing videos just of you know women like I just want a good Christian man who will take me to church and treat me like the princess God made me to be I'm like we need to start living how we say we want to be it's all I'm saying like that is so important right let's live it out that's what that's what actually my my wife is so amazing and that's what we actually did meet online I hope that's okay to tell the story but yeah we met on MySpace yeah it was awesome we were the only two left and she's so amazing and that's what what it's she butyl she's such a good Christian that's what I was tracted me but she's also really beautiful actually I'm gonna tell us really I'm gonna in on time I promise but this is out this is how beautiful she is two weeks ago we were out of crochet store we were buying snacks because we were going to watch a movie because I have this huge giant TV at Sam's where I shop and and we were buying snacks because we didn't know it was late so we didn't know if they still have the free sample boosts up and this is how beautiful she is we walked up to the cashier at the grocery store and the cashier looked at me and looked at her and we set our snacks down and he picked up for the divider and put it between our stuff all right let's just say out loud what he was saying he looked at me and looked at her and then I had a dilemma because I wanted him to know that she was with me but I kind of wanted her to pay for her own snacks so but not we did we we met online and what really attracted me to her was how much she loved Jesus that it was so important and and she loved and she has two boys and some we now have five boys such a loud but fun house and it is so please pray for us she is if people always ask now that they show I feel like she is a little younger but which made me nervous for the first date but her favorite band was playing in Houston the Wiggles and that date was so amazing I wanted it to go on forever but it was a school night and but here's why here's why I want to talk about that and I'll close with this but I've been through a lot of stages in life I've been single I've been married I've been divorced I've been through abandonment I've been through being you know single again and then I'm married to an amazing woman of God and through all of that here's where I come out with a message it doesn't matter what our relationship status is in real life or what our relationship status is on Facebook the only relationship that matters is our relationship with Jesus Christ that is the only foundation that will get you through it so I'm gonna end with that I'm not even with that you've got to have a strong foundation and with Jesus you're gonna get knocked down you're gonna you're gonna be the world is going to attack you and the only foundation strong enough to stand back up is that with Christ and with that sacrifice and that love that he has and that should set us free to go out into the world and love on other people let's do that guys man Liberty I can't thank you enough you guys are awesome god bless come on put your hands together boss body [Music] man I think this is as good a time as any to go ahead and let you know by the way that we did just this week secure John Crist will be with us next semester you dismissed see you later god bless you guys [Applause]

Channel: Liberty University

Views: 49,884

Keywords: Liberty University, LibertyU, Liberty, Jerry Falwell

Id: qQk-WzZFl1g

Length: 33min 42sec (2022 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 05 2019