r/Tinder · alexa please

happy couple sharing their tinder success story on our slash tinder me downloading it how's it going over to welcome back to easy peasy my name is zac and today we're gonna be taking a look at r slash tinder hey do you want to be my steph sister and get stuck in the washing machine omg did you just read my mind that's literally what i was thinking about last night it was a joke stephanie i swear anastasia if you're over 35 it's time to forget about young girls and find a woman who can recognize signs of a stroke experienced people discussing on reddit about how a perfect tinder date should be me with zero matches and ugly looks reading their conversation at 2 am are you a full tank of gas because i've been searching everywhere for you knock knock who's there control freak now you say control freak who thanks i got this control freak who hey i've seen you somewhere before really where i saw you on my to-do list i don't know if she read it or not but uh what do you like in a man caring smart nice i'm one of those nice no smart my kink is being respectful in the streets while being disrespectful in the sheets consensually oh baby now that's what i'm talking about please just respectfully disrespect me nice hey do people call you danny cause i don't want danny buddy but you they used to call me queen daniella stormborn of the house target targaryen the first of her name queen of the andals the rhoynar and the first men lady of the seven kingdoms and protector of the realm lady of dragonstone queen of marine khaleesi and of the great grass sea the unburned breaker of chains and mother of dragons but you can call me doc you couldn't set the bar high enough when i rock up in my jedi costume i think you're gonna have to lower your bar for me when i tell you i've never seen star wars nervously changes star wars bed sheets oh really well you know we've all got faults in our life but it's how we bounce back from them the star wars sheets stay on oh my god okay vigorously put star wars sheets back on a nice message no ghosting it is possible thank you for your message i actually had a first date last night which we both thought went really well and both are keen to explore more i'm not very good at getting to know someone while still chatting with others just not my style thanks for reaching out and good luck on your journey oh well how about that if this was an interview you'd be killing it well then did i get the job i mean we're definitely looking at you for an internship oh okay okay quick helen you're losing us what do you think is your greatest strength definitely napping i'm very good at it never tell your interviewer that you plan to sleep on the job katelyn what the [ __ ] had to be honest honesty is the best policy you're back on board thank god greatest weakness go depressed and i didn't think we were gonna get all real and stuff kidding all right so your sense of humor is your weakness hey what string is this missing the d string looks like we're both missing the d god damn my new match hey i actually live in oklahoma but you want to try to make this work me who lives in california nah man i'm pretty far from okay nice i don't know i kind of enjoyed writing my bio to be fair your bio should be in the how to write a tinder bio handbook to be fair can you interview me and write mine for me please or just write that handbook that would work too i would offer my services but after meeting me you won't need a dinner bio that was sensationally smooth let me guess i'm not the first tinder message you've sent let's bang maybe get to know me first okay where you from do you like grapes i love them love the grape dissection videos online how about a date i see what you did there i like stuffing my dates oh what if it's garlic mayo that's acceptable excellent so what brings you to tinder i'm looking for someone to repair my phone screen that's a good mission but i am not one for the job don't ask stupid questions then i literally opened with do you think it's weird to dip your pizza crusts in mayonnaise and this was the stupid question wreck me ralph wow i have no clue why no other girls use that on me but yeah sure guys who can differentiate between there there and there held a dick stop asking i've never held one all right my ex called me a sex machine well her exact words were tool but i know what she meant yeah man don't worry about it you're good the dating cycle get back on dating apps get frustrated and fed up by the whole thing quit dating i'm really lonely and it repeats i'm not a smoker but nicolette would certainly make my day better what's that even mean you know nicorette nicolette those arm patches people used to stop smoking must've been a lot funnier my head lol i'm from a small town how tall are you six foot eight wow you're pretty tall yeah some girls like it but it sucks because i have really long legs and arms and big feet but tiny hands so when i run i look like a goblin sometimes are you there last year may 9th 2020 i was fortunate enough to meet this beautiful person on the app we dated didn't work out in couple terms but we were able to build maintain a good friendship here we are celebrating one year of the day we met cheers oh hell yeah nice hey if you could have one superpower what would it be either to fly or to be super fast you ah invincibility that's a good one i don't know what this icon means but i assume it's a lot of something good uh but where are they are you into hooking up yeah oh that's interesting we can play world war ii you play as poland and i'll be germany this way i'll come inside you even after i said i wouldn't lord louise all jesus almighty i'm not into hookup culture but i just wanted to know your stance on it whoa so what would i have to do to get your number you're pretty cool perform a magic trick i can make your standards disappear damn ah shoot i'm an espresso girl so picky complicated and high maintenance what can i say i've got layers like an onion or like every other woman i've ever met and onions taste bad damn maybe i'm the piggy one i don't know mariana i like your name it's like the trench you know thanks i have no idea what a trench is but i appreciate the compliment she must be busy maybe she doesn't have notifications on she's thinking of a good way to reply she'll reply tomorrow she must be sleeping it's already 7pm alexa no i will not play despacito you matched with kirsty christie i'm noticing something wrong in your seventh picture what your hand looks mad heavy let me hold it for you i'm noticing something wrong in your message you sent what you spelt my name wrong wow shame on me looks like i put the r before the eye fortunately i'll always put you before i okay did you misspell it on purpose because i loved that you walk into your room and i'm on the bed naked what do you do leave this is the best tinder bio i've seen i'd like to cover you in peanut butter and see how much i could lick off before my peanut butter allergy killed me oh if you could eliminate one food so that no one would eat it ever again what would you pick to destroy pasta societies would crumble pick a number one joke two pick up line three shallow compliment four weird fact about my life five sexually explicit compliment six no what's cooking good looking what are your pronouns i'm trying to holla at you respectfully don't tell me it's the i'm trying to make you my girl pickup line now i just think your pigs are busting because she ish wait i'm still in that lull you think i could steal your number two damn wave hi how are you doing excellent trying to wrap up work for the day how are you i'm good would you like to meet up with me in person now if you don't mind me asking am i going to wake up in a bathtub without one of my organs hi steph you know my name is actually spelled steven meant to be perhaps as it maybe it is meant to be the first five letters are the same the same when we were born our parents came up with a five letter sequence that was an exact match this doesn't just happen out of the blue who are we to mess with god's plan wait let's try something give me five letters any order i-t-e-c-u i tried lol i'm not sure if that's what you meant omg i-t-e-c-u is what i wrote down i think you owe me a date now that's how that goes right you're so silly i wouldn't mind a date with somebody who can make me smile yeah she's the wrong you're though blocker the difference between me and mosquitoes is i don't stop sucking when you slap me oh did you know that there are 206 bones in the human body would you like to have sex with me how to cope with your massive penis uh sarah well some people are into that is that your cat that is indeed my cat it's so fluffy i want to put my face in its face except cats don't usually like that so like that but metaphorically my cat is a sweet angel who'd never hurt a soul i also like putting my face in my seat how much we have in common honestly even though that was kind of gross that was also so [ __ ] smooth i'm embarrassed to say that line absolutely just worked on me i risked it all worth it what's a smart attractive person like myself doing without your phone number phone number oh [ __ ] worked guy i wish that girl would have sex with me even though it's the first date girl hey wanna have sex guy gross i wonder who else she sleeps so easily girl i have not seen this image in like eight years anna do you need nice picks for tinder contact me let's have fun and do the most excited photo shoot of your life oh i've got everything you're looking for the six sixes six inches below six feet tall six years away from having a six figure income six centimeter dick six years out of a relationship six horsepower moped six pack of white glow in the fridge huh nice kiss mary kill choices are me hitler and me again i wonder what he chose pierced titties tastes like a set of house keys but there's no place like home baby pros and cons to dating me are ironically both my mouth picture this you log on to tinder see a decent girl 7 out of 10 at best unsure whether to swipe right but you read her bio you like it it's captivating you swipe right boom you match you start talking conversation is engaging she's genuine you bring her to meet your parents they love her a couple years pass and you get married you can't believe you found the love of your life on this app cool story not gonna happen but i'll do anal and well ladies and gentlemen just like that we've reached the end of our slash tinder thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure to hit that subscribe button in the bell so you get notified every time easy peasy uploads and if you wanna hear more from me my personal channel zach's fuller is linked in the description below thanks again for watching and until next time i'll see you around

Channel: EzPz

Views: 43,583

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, Tinder

Id: IJVUrfV7Qcc

Length: 9min 29sec (569 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 17 2021