This was posted in JustNoMil, but apparently
it didn't meet their guidelines and someone suggested I should post it here. TW: mention of religious trauma. I was looking at my wedding photos today and
thought this community would appreciate my success. It's a bit long with all the background,
so go make a cuppa and settle in. My mil hated me from the moment we met. Think
evangelical catholic meets goth athiest. I moved in with her son and had a baby without
getting married and she truly believed I was the devil incarnate sent to draw her baby
boy into the depths of heck. There followed years of petty microaggressions, a constant
barrage of manipulation and guilt tripping and doing things like offering to watch the
kids then pulling out 1/2 hour before, or buying the kids a puppy when we expressly
said no and then blaming us when she had to take the poor thing back. She pushed over
my motor bike, turned up at my work, tried to rearrange the furniture in our house and
constantly talked about god and jesus in front of the kids and told them they were going
to heck because they weren't baptised. I went VLC and things were quiet for a while. I never cared about getting married. I felt
weddings were a waste of money. I'd rather have a boat or a new motorbike, but it was
important to hubby, so I agreed, on the condition that it was not a church wedding. Apart from
the generally problematic nature of the church, I experienced religious trauma growing up
and I wasn't prepared to compromise. Hubby agreed and we started planning. Two days after we announced our engagement
(to much wailing, gnashing of teeth and general dismay), a priest arrived on our doorstep.
He had been sent by MIL to schedule a date for our wedding and book us in for premarital
counselling. I was very nice to him (after all, my issue was with the institution, not
this poor guy) and thanked him for coming and told him we wouldn't be requiring any
catholic services for the wedding. He looked sad and expressed he was a bit nervous to
let MIL know. I offered him coffee and sympathy and that was the start of an unlikely friendship. I was fairly annoyed by this stunt. I talked
to my hubby, who at that time was so far in the FOG that he couldn't see a hand in front
of his face. He didn't see the big deal and asked me to just let it go. I thought about
it for a day, then told him no. We had to address this immediately or it would escalate.
I understood that he loved his mum and sisters, but that their obvious contempt for me was
a problem. I don't like ultimatums, but by this point I'd been putting up with it for
about 6 years. I laid it out. We address it now, or no wedding. It went about as well as you'd expect. We
visited and hubby tried to talk to her about how inappropriate her actions were. She screamed
at him and cried, and then his sisters started on us both. Standing there, watching my hubby's
heart break, my filter broke. I told them to stop, very loudly. Then, I told them that
they were behaving like toddlers, that I was embarrassed by their antics and to consider
this their first and only warning. If they tried anything like that again, or treated
us with anything other than kindness and respect, not only would I cancel the wedding, I would
tell their priest and all their friends about their disgusting behaviour. If they wanted
to be part of the planning, I would welcome their participation but that Hubby and I had
the final say. MIL tried to speak, but I shushed her like Dr Evil shushing Scott and we left. Hubby was distraught and I felt bad for him,
but we got into couple's counselling and things got better. Meanwhile MIL and the SILS seemed to have
taken things on board and were maintaining a frosty civility (although I was banned from
their house because I was scary. ) Fast forward about 12 months. Time for dress
shopping. Ye gods, I HATED the idea of a wedding dress. I hate pale colours. I hate dressing
up. I hate dresses. Just everything about the idea made me want to fake a coma to get
out of it, but I'd promised my own very JYmum and brother that we could do this together.
So Mum, Mil, Sil x 3, brother and his wife all traipsed along with me to marvel at the
sight of me in a dress. And it wasn't a bad day. The IL's behaved and I found a dress
that I didn't hate as much as the others. I paid for it and we left. The next day, I got a call from the shop.
MIL and the SIL's had ordered themselves THE EXACT SAME DRESS AS ME! I told hubby and he didn't really believe
it I laughed about it for a bit, went back to the shop and ordered a new dress. This
one was dark purple with black trim. And then I had The Idea. I don't have a lot of female
friends. But all my male friends have wives who had wedding dresses. And sometimes they
say they feel sad that they spent all that money on a dress that they'll never wear again.
I talked to hubby and he agreed, so the invitations went out and every person who had ever worn
a wedding dress was invited to wear it to our wedding. Mil and the Sils got different invitation
that specifically asked that they not wear white. Dress code was stated as "whatever
you're comfortable in." I wasn't there for the initial confusion that
swiftly turned to rage, but my mum and brother gleefully recounted the story later. All four
of them turned up in their beautiful white dresses with their beautiful make up and hair
- and were completely absorbed by the rest of the crowd. They didn't stand out. They
looked exactly like everyone else. Except for my mum and brother's wife, who wore purple
like me. They weren't going to ruin my day by upstaging me. My hubby, who up to that
point really didn't think they would do something so vile, turned to stone that day. They had
finally shown the depths that they would sink to and the last of the FOG was swept away. I turned up in the side car of a Harley (I
did experiment with riding in the dress but it didn't end so well and the shop had to
make a few emergency repairs the week before) and I walked down the aisle to the Imperial
March by myself. My brother was my maid of honour and his wife was my hubby's best man. Remember the priest? Well, he wasn't allowed
to officiate outside a church as a priest, so he was our MC. This was the icing on the
cake, because I saw MILs face light up when she saw him... until he introduced the marriage
celebrant and handed her the microphone. We had a pagan handfasting, jumped over a broomstick
and walked back down the aisle to "Sweet child o' mine" while our two kids played air guitar
and danced ahead of us... and ignored MIL and the SILs when they tried to get them to
go over there. I came face to face with my MIL at the door.
She was incandescent with rage. She went to speak, but my hubby stepped forward...and
he shushed her! Right in front of everyone! It was glorious. She didn't speak to either of us for the rest
of the night. She didn't speak to us for nearly a month. And then she called one day to ask
to see the kids as if nothing had happened. So Iet it go, because my husband and I had
Won. But every now and then I wear the purple dress when I know she'll be at an event. Because
I'm petty like that. This JUST happened. In fact I am still a little pumped of adrenaline
(Off such a little act, WHAT a rush). So I live on a street connected to an Elementary
School. Other residence including myself have issues on weekdays around 3:30pm that parents
will be parked all along our street to go pick up their kids from the school at the
end of it. There is no problem with that as I expect it. We have a guy named Terry on our street. Terry
had left all the neighbors a business card saying that if ANY people block their driveway
to call him immediately and he would tow then RIGHT AWAY. He is basically on standby from
2:00pm-4:00pm in our neighborhood. I Never had a chance to use this card yet. The only issue for me is that I finish work
at 2:00pm and I go get groceries and usually end up home around 3:30pm. A FEW times now
I have come home to park in my Driveway and there is a vehicle completely blocking me.
AKA instead of parking on the curb they will park at the end of my driveway and make it
unable for me to park in. So I have to ask the owners to move. Today specifically, there was an old Dodge
Minivan block my driveway. When I got out of my car to knock on the tinted window I
realized no one was inside. I thought maybe they are napping in the back while they wait
well NOPE. No one was in the vehicle. I couldn't get into my Driveway. This is specifically
annoying because the curb behind and in front of him were both vacant (Maybe they weren't
vacant when he parked there. So I got the card out of my Glove Compartment
and called Terry. I gave him my house number and in less than 5 Minute he had that bad
boi towed out of there. So what happened next? I decided to start cleaning my car on my driveway
until the owner came by. My first plan was to tell the owner that he/she had blocked
the driveway and I had it towed. But as I was outside cleaning my car (it's 22 degree
outside in November). Don't ask how Canadian weather works. I saw him coming back with his son. He looked
incredibly confused as I was cleaning my car. I noticed him and didn't say anything as he
was on his phone. So he actually came to me really upset. He said "Hey PAL, have you seen
my van, are you that much of a freaking jerk to call it for a tow when I was gone 3 minutes?"
So my plan changed. I said "Wait, what van? And I decided to play dumb. Well about an
hour later he rang my doorbell and asked for details. I told him to "Freak off". and came
here to write this. Terry is back in his driveway with his tow
truck though and I plan on giving him a 6-pack of beer for helping me. Rented a house that
has the previous renter's movable basketball hoop in the drive way. Neighbor kids asked
to use it so they could have one hoop on each side of the road. I said they could but please
put it back out of the way because I needed to park on the road (small driveway with 2
cars made street parking necessary). Not only did they not on multiple occasions, they began
leaving their balls in my front yard that I had to move to mow. After some time and
reminders I ended up putting the hoop on Craigslist for free to anyone that could pick it up during
public school hours. It disappeared one school day and when asked I said I didn't know where
it went, which was technically the truth because I never asked the guy who took it. Tldr: neighbor kids abused using
basketball hoop in my yard, so I gave it away when they were at school. So
about a year ago I was getting some branches trimmed on a big evergreen tree in my backyard.
The arborist told me I needed to have my power line and internet line disconnected so it
wouldn’t be hit by falling branches. I called the electrical company and they agreed
to be out at 8:00 AM on the day of service. Easy. Then I called the internet provider. I explained
the situation and they transferred me. “Hello, I’d like to schedule someone to
disconnect my internet for tree trimming.” “Oh we don’t offer that. Let me transfer
you.” I am not exaggerating when I say I was transferred
around different departments for 2 hours. I kept getting transferred back to people
I had previously talked to, but everyone seemed equally appalled by my request. I would explain
“disconnect the internet cable so the tree branches don’t fall on it.” But it was
like I was speaking a foreign language. FINALLY I reach someone on the phone who offers
a solution. “Sure thing I can send someone out, it’s
$150 to send someone out and then you pay per hour.” The person on the phone explained.
“You’re kidding, I have to pay for them to come disconnect the line, will they come
back for free?” “It will be $150 for each time someone comes out plus 100 for each hour.”
I was beyond frustrated at this point so of course I didn’t schedule anyone to come
out. The morning of the tree trimming I was out
on a ladder with rubber gloves and a pair of scissors ready to cut the internet line. Luckily right then the reliable electrical
folks should up to disconnect the power. “While you’re up there can you disconnect the internet?”
I asked. “Are you sure?” The electrical guy asked, looking concerned. I looked pretty
freaking determined at this point being on a ladder and all. So the electrical guy did
me a solid and cut the cable. The tree guys came and went. The next day I called the internet provider
again, saying that my internet stopped working and I had no idea why. Then I went to work. The internet repair guy got sent to my house
for free and then called me ticked off. “Who cut your tree” he asked, “they cut our
wire! This is a ton of work to fix so I’m going to charge them for it!” I told him it definitely wasn’t the tree
guys as they had come a week prior and my internet had JUST stopped working. It ended up taking him 5 hours to fix. The
repair guy was benching that if the internet had just been disconnected it would have been
an easy reconnection job, but now he had to wire down the road to their main fiber line.
Too bad for the internet provider. I’m just glad
it was all free. My cat has this habit the moment
I close my bathroom door, she would paw at it and HOWLS loudly like I'm a mother who
just abandon her child. But when she goes to her litterbox, she wouldn't
let anyone see her do her business. Even if you so much walk in front of that box while
she's trying to do whatever she needs to, she would stop, get out and wait till the
coast is clear. Yesterday, she wasn't just howling but started
body slamming at the bathroom door. So naturally I wanted to extend the same because I care
so much bout her and stood in front of the litter box, dead staring at her while I cheered
her on. She can't stop going in and out of the box multiple times, meowed at me to go
away, and after a minute, I did w a smirk on my face. This morning she left me alone while I'm in
the bathroom. A couple months ago I parked in front of a neighbors
house. Mind you it’s street parking in a housing tract, not assigned parking. All the
neighbors are generally courteous and usually park in front of their own homes, except on
trash day when all bets are off. Well I parked there and left my car a couple extra days
due to a medical emergency. Went to move it and found a Karen-esq note about not parking
there. I parked there again a few weeks later and they thought the proper response was to
rinse my car off. Yes, they hosed my car off. (Which I admit is a pretty funny petty revenge) Now since they failed to walk some 200 feet
to express their concerns, I decided to start parking there from time to time when I was
only going to be home for an. hour or so before going out again. Since clearly this isn’t
enough time to get their hose out, the new response is 2 pull their BMW or Mercedes out
of their garage and park in the street to “block” me. I won’t park there for a
few days then will do so randomly for a few minutes. Triggers them moving their car without
fail. Roommate had been taking my forks from a new set of silverware to work. I bought
the set just after she moved in. Asked her to check in with me before she took silverware
to work. She denied every doing it and claimed she only used chopsticks (if anything). This
contradicted me seeing my silverware drying on the silverware rack routinely when she
got home. Fast forward a couple of months later, my
forks actually went missing, completely. It took me some time to notice, but I had one
large fork, out of the original 6, brand new, pretty nice forks that came with the set.
I asked her about it, she denied it, claimed she was offended. She said she used to take
forks to work but after our talk a few months ago she stopped. So she contradicted her initial statement
that she never took the silverware. She also showed disregard for my property after completely
finishing several of my items in the cupboard and essentially stealing drinks from the fridge
leaving me with like half an ounce (just enough to not quench the thirst). So basically I
had her pegged. She doubled down and basically acted "disappointed"
I thought it was her. She went out and bought a 4 person set of silverware, which I insisted
she keep in a separate drawer from mine. Then I started thinking... how is she going to
basically steal my stuff and somehow, miraculously, end up with a shining new silverware set while
I am stuck in this position? Nah, it's not going down like that. So the night she took that set put it in her
drawer, I went in and took one of her big forks, leaving her now with only three. Now
she can know that I know it was her, and she won't have a complete set. I (F,22, employed)
have an older annoying step-brother (father's side) of 26 jobless and even refused to go
to college. Our relationship is so bad (not only mine but with the whole family) that
even while living in the same house, I never talk to or acknowledge his existence. He normally
stays out all the time and never much interact with our other siblings (something I'm grateful
for). We have a great relationship between the rest of us and so many disciplines, so
whatever someone put in the fridge never get touched with no permission of the owner and
we kept that way for all our life. Till he starts breaking that rule recently. I kept
noticing more of my food/drinks disappear alongside ingredients I buy for my baking
hobby. We all leave house so mostly either him or my little brother are the most susceptible,
but he also goes to college so it's always him the one idling at home. I talked to my
mother about how he starts peeing me off these days, she calmed me down telling me she'll
check it. He kept making trouble for my lil sister so I told him not to talk to her in
a mean way again or he will literally have it from me. He kept pushing my buttons lately. The last straw was when yesterday, I had friends
over and one of my friends was wearing some nice crocs she bought recently. When leaving
she couldn't find it and he was the only one who left after they came. Called him and asked
him if he wore them and he said yes and that he wasn't somewhere close, asked him how he
dared to take guest's stuff and he blatantly said that I should have taken care of the
guest's stuff if I was so hung on it and cut the call. I was literally livid. Dude had it coming, and really bad. Next morning, before I go to work, I took
his phone (One I bought him from my first salary cause mom asked me) while he was sleeping,
took a scissors and broke the charger jack so he can't plug in for charge and the earphone
jack. Since I wasn't here the whole day, my little
sister made it her mission to unplug his phone and hide away his charger whenever she could
that if HE COULD EVEN PLUG THE CHARGER IN. MUAHAHAHA. Told dad on him last night and my lovely dad
even told him that if he did get himself noticed by ne again or talked to younger sister he
wil literally kick him out. (Dad isn't even joking, he had kicked him out lots of time
and even took him to prison for doing drugs and stealing from my friends phones, money
etc... when they came for visit). Could have ignored him if he didn't seek my
attention by peeing me off. So, this is from a few years ago i was engaged to S for a few years , when
my dad died in the late 90's she was very supportive and my mother thought she was great
. My parents had a really nice time share that they used quite a bit , but now my dad
had died my mum had no wish to keep it so offered it to me - i had no wish to use it
so she offered it to "S" S - took the time share as it was closer to
where her parents lived and they would make good use of it - it was all legally signed
over to her etc anyways , about 6 months later me and S had
a bit of a messy break up and about a year later one of our mutual friends was telling
me S was trying to sell the timeshare for £20,000 - this caused a row between S and
our mutual friend as she argued that any money made from selling the time share should be
given to my mother . i didnt really care and forgot all about it
- fast foreward to my mum dying 10 years ago - about 2 weeks after her death i get a message
from S on facebook but under her new married name askig how i was and telling me that her
and her husband have been using it every year but now they have no further use for it and
would like to offer it back to me - i highlighted how its ironic she got in touch now as my
mum had only just died (i found out later she found out from a friend of ours ) - she
then highlighted that my mum would definitely have wanted me to have it back as part of
my inheritance So i decided to do some digging to find out
why she was so keen for us to have it . It turned out : 1/the annual fee had risen from £250 a year
to £650 a year 2/ they are impossible to sell - i looked
on ebay and people were trying to sell timeshares from this complex for £0.01 they were that
desperate to get out the contract 3/ a lot of the amenities that were in the
timeshare complex were now run down and from reading some of the reviews, the whole complex
seemed to be poorly managed (i also found out she had been trying to sell
it for years but with no luck) so i let her know that i was very grateful
for her offer but had no interest in taking it back and she was welcome to keep it - she
sent about 10 messages over the next couple of weeks trying to guilt trip me and even
contacted my sister as well trying to convince her to take it back but we both politely declined
and shes now stuck with the place for life and the annual fee which rises every year
...... edit : a couple of posters have asked "whats
the revenge" : i didnt want to bore you all with the details of the breakup but to summarise
: she left me with a crap load of debt , tried to get me fired from my job and multiple other
things . Nobody in my family had an issue with her trying to sell it - it was mutual
friends who got annoyed with her as she was boasting to them how she was going to profit
from a gift she happily used it for years , and then when
she found out my mother had passed tried to fob it off back to me as she no longer used
it and realised she was stuck with it for life ... ? so she might have left me with
thousands of pounds debt from our relationship which took me several years to pay off - but
i eventually got my revenge in the long run as she will be paying for it for the rest
of her life .... When I was 18 and had my first apartment, a new neighbor asked me for
a ride to the bigbox department store across town. This was only my second time meeting
her, but she was hugely pregnant, her boyfriend was at work, it was my day off, and I needed
a few things, so I agreed. Before we got there, she asked me to pull
into a store that I rarely went to on my own. It's a franchise store (my mom very, very
slightly knew the owner) that specializes in selling greeting cards but also had expensive
greeting cards and chocolate. (Think *allmark) It was right on the way, so I said sure, even
though I didn't like this chain. I'm not a card person or a high-price chocolate person.
We split up and I look at a few of the motivational books (Chicken Soup stories) while she browses. I notice an employee straightening things
at the other end of the row and I think nothing of it. A few minutes later, two police officers enter
and I think nothing of it. Absolutely oblivious. A little while later, the woman I was with
said she was ready to go and we leave. The officers stop us in the parking lot and an
employee steps out. The office says, "Which one was shoplifting?" I was stunned....and obviously they pointed
at my new neighbor. She gets handcuffed, they read the little message and put here in the
back of the car. Then the officer said, "What about her?" (pointing at me) "As far as we could tell, she didn't shoplift
anything," the employee said. I turned out my pockets, revealing a small
wallet and keys. "I didn't take anything. I just met that woman a few days ago when
we moved into the same apartment rental place. She asked for a ride to buy groceries and
on the way, suggested we stop. I don't like even cards." (yes, I was rambling) The officer sent me on my way and I felt so
embarrassed. I'd never had an encounter with the police before. They moved out a few weeks later because they
couldn't pay the rent. I didn't expect to ever see her again. I was an assistant manager at fast food place
a few months later and this woman shows up for a job interview with the manager. We paid
a dollar an hour above minimum wage, offered minimal benefits (compared to no benefits,
which most fast food places did), regular scheduling, and free meals. Whether you were
a high school dropout or a college student, this job wasn't terrible. It was a step above
the place with the golden arches. Naturally, I pulled the manager aside and
told him about this lady. The manager wrote REJECT on the top of the application and I
knew she'd get a letter in a few days telling her she didn't get the job. I did this partly
because I was upset she created an unnecessary police encounter to steal knickknacks. Not
food, not diapers, not a maternity shirt. Little overpriced things you put on your shelves.
I don't even remember what they were, but trinkets. The other reason was I liked the
owners of the place I worked, and I didn't want them to be stolen from.
