Robert Morris – Blessed Sons And Daughters – Blessed Families

so if you have your Bibles or your phone or whatever go to very famous passage well for what we're going to talk about today Ephesians chapter 6 you can also go to notes gateway people calm and it'll just take you immediately to you version and my notes are on you version and so you can make your own notes in there there's a place to do it sofie's in Chapter six we're in a series called blessed families and we've talked about the broken family how all of us come from a broken family and that broken family be Adam and Eve we've talked about blessed marriage we've talked about blessed family I want to talk to you today about blessed sons and daughters and I specifically named this sons and daughters because we're all sons and daughters of God even though we were sons and daughters on this earth but as sons and daughters we go through three phases and these phases are actually outlined in the Bible God designed these three phases and I want to talk about how we relate to sons and daughters in these three phases the three phases just so you know or childhood adolescence and adulthood childhood is birth to twelve adolescence thirteen to nineteen and these not ages I'm getting from the Bible and adulthood is 20 and above so I'll show you these three and I'm going to give you a word so there'll be three words today that hopefully you can remember the key word about how to relate to sons and daughters in each of these phases all right so here's in Ephesians 6 we're gonna start with three verses I think these three phases of life are actually in these three verses so I think you'll see them I mean you'll see childhood adolescence and adulthood alright so the feesh ins chapter 6 look at verse 1 it says children that's so weird on my childhood obey your parents in the Lord for this is right so this is the first thing children need to learn during this 0 to 12 they need to learn to obey their parents I think verse 2 is actually referring to adolescents honor your father and mother I think teenagers need to learn to honor one another and honor other people I think honor is the biggest thing they need to learn at that time during that adolescence age which is the first commandment promise and then verse three I think is referring to adulthood watch this that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth in other words as adults and things may go well with you and you may live long on the earth I have a thought about this because a lot of times when you ask people what's the promise if your honor your mother and father they seem to all say or the promises that you may live long on the earth well the promise is actually that things may go well with you and that you may live long in the earth and I don't mean this wrong but he wants to live long if things aren't going well so so that's a bigger promise to me that things may go well with you alright so we're gonna look at these three phases and how we relate to sons and daughters all right so number one phase this is the word to try to help you remember is training this refers to childhood the childhood phase training now we stopped at verse four we read verses one through three of Ephesians six look at verse four and you father's do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord training think about this scripture that all of you know proverbs 22:6 train train up a child you train children train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it now we're going to talk about training and so I'm going to talk about biblical training and I don't have time to devote I could devote an entire message to each three of these points each of these three points okay so we're gonna I'm gonna talk a little about biblical training and we're gonna talk a little bit about spanking because the Bible talks about spanking I know that there are books against thank you we had some friends of ours that what they years ago they the wife said to my wife to Debbie you know she'd read some book and she said we stopped spanking in our home and just few weeks later today we talk to her again she said we started spanking again because this is the best book on raising children I remember my son James he used to say to me you know I'd say son you disobeyed not explaining to him you're going to get spanking say dad daddy can't can I tell you something first can I can I tell you can't just tell you one thing before you before you spank me that's ok you tell me one thing and then you could see him trying to think of something then say he was simply trying to you know postpone you'd said that I love you I I love you daddy that's ok not true he said we'll have nothing I I love you and and and I have four dollars and I want to give you I want to give you my four dollars and daddy when I grow up I'm gonna build your mommy a big house and let you live in it for free you know so he did whatever he could to get out of it but he never got out of it alright here's the here let me read you a scripture and I'm gonna read you read it out of the message because I just like the way that this translates this proverbs 23 13 and 14 don't be afraid to correct your young woman's a spanking won't kill them a good spanking in fact might save them from something worse than death a good spanking might save them from something now watch this worse than death what would be worse than death so let me show you what it says in the New King James it says and deliver his soul from hell so see if I have a choice whether listened to the experts out there that don't know God or listen to God and it says that spanking could deliver my child's soul from Hell that's pretty important matter of fact again the Bible is strong on this point and again we try to dilute it and and let me just clarify when I talk about spanking obviously mental might abuse or our anger or anything like that and there's a whole message that I did years ago on this so you can listen to that if you want to reference it but I mean we think the Bible says spare the rod spoil the child the Bible does not say that it makes it much stronger and you see because we think well I wouldn't mind spoiling the child a little bit does it say if you spare it the rod you spoil the child here's what it actually says proverbs 13:24 he who spares his rod hates his son but he who loves him disciplines him promptly so let me give you three just three thoughts about discipline that might help you if you're in this phase of life one is be clear be clear your communication I remember one time I walked out in the backyard James my son was throwing rocks in the swimming pool I said to him James do not throw any rocks in the swimming pool he looked at me went over grabbed his brother's bicycle and threw it in the swimming pool I didn't say don't throw bicycles in the pool so I saw had to be clear don't throw anything in the pool if you throw anything in the pool including other people I'm going to spank you I had to be very clear with him like so one is be clear the other thing is be convincing daddy is going to spank you let me tell you why daddy is going to spank you because daddy loves you bad things happen to people who do bad things that's what I would tell my children I don't want bad things to happen to you so I am training you now not to do bad things because when you get older you do bad things you go to prison things happen to you bad things happen to people who do bad things the only reason I'm doing this is because I love you and I'd be very convinced see daddy will spank you if you hit your sister with that plastic bat you stop swinging the plastic bat in the house because you could hit your sister accidentally like you I have already done four times so daddy will spank you you will get a spanking if you do this be convincing and the last thing is big compassionate never spanked in anger if you have to cool down some cool down explain to him take them to another who've never spanked in public never ever ever because shame is never a part of discipline with God God never shames us we shame ourselves but God doesn't shame us we humiliate ourselves but God humbles us so I just tell it you know don't do it in public go somewhere else be compassionate I would I would have fun with them afterwards every time after I would spank him I would do something fun with him it takes time but for godly discipline because I wanted him to know his over and when I talk about not spanking public my sons Josh and James told me this story they went to Home Depot one time it might have been to buy that socket that almost killed Josh then he told you about a few weeks ago where James just sat there let him burn to death but anyway so they worked they were going Home Depot and they rounded the corner of an owl and they saw two parents walking about ten feet in front of a child about five or six years old and the parents were just fuming and of course they realized what happened is they've told the child you're gonna get a spanking when we get home you know when we go home you're gonna get it you ever hurt you know so so they're walking in like this and this child it was so funny because this child said guys can we just talk can we just talk guys hey so they're walking my Elizabeth his little boy says Cecily guys listen you don't like spanking me I don't like getting spankings we could just avoid the whole thing guys and when they when they rounded the corner they heard the last thing they heard the board saying was guys we're all adults here let's just be reasonable so the first phase is training all right it refers to chop childhood second phase here's number two teaching this refers to adolescence from 13 to 19 we move from training to teach II Ephesians six verse four let's go back to that verse and you father's do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training we already talked about that and admonition of the Lord let me tell you why you sore teaching that's what this word means admonition means instruction or teaching bringing up in the teaching Lord Deuteronomy 49 teach them then refers to statutes teach them to your children and your grandchildren Deuteronomy six seven you shall teach them diligently to your children so think about this all right um adolescence refers to the transition of a child becoming an adult we refer to it as teenage years but it refers to that time this is a time when we go to teaching it begins at 12 or 13 somewhere around that age you see it in Jewish culture as well there becomes a time of teaching we even see it in jesus's life and there's a really famous story about Jesus that I think we missed something very important when Jesus was in the temple remember and there's a great there's a great part of it I'm not I'm not minimizing this part but because of this part I think we missed the other part but the the teachers are the rabbi's in the temple were so impressed with his answers now that's a great thing but I want you to notice something that Jesus himself did as he's making a transition from childhood to adolescence Luke 2 verse 42 and when he was twelve years old they went up and they went to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast and then verse 46 now so it was that after three days remember they left and then they came back and found him they found him in the tip sitting in the midst of the teachers watch what Jesus was doing both listening to them and asking them questions listening to them and asking them questions that's what Jesus was doing Jesus until this is a time when when teenagers are going to be in to ask questions you need to understand something this is the time for you to help them transition from being a child think about this how many times though do we say something like this to our teenager says something like this to us you're treating me like a child you ever hear that and of course what's our response well you're acting like a child and they probably are but it's our responsibility to teach them not to act like a child it's to begin to train them to teach their let me said another way we tell a child what to think or we train the child what to think we teach an adolescent's how to think let me say that again we we tell a child what to think we tell them this is what you're going this is what you're going to do we tell a child what to think but we teach an adolescence how to think I don't know whether you use this illustration or not because some of you are like it some of you won't but it's like math okay some people have never gotten math the reason they've never got math is because someone told you the answers and didn't teach you the processes my father who's a mathematical genius told me processes he actually taught me many times how to solve mathematical problems three or four different ways but because of that I learned processes this is what's wrong sometimes with teenagers is we tell them this is what you're going to do instead of teach them to come to that conclusion on their own notice asking questions teenagers were Jesus was asking question okay the best way to teach if you don't know this already is to ask questions so you begin to move in this transitional time where you begin to ask your teenagers questions um what what kind of criteria are you going to use this is what you would ask a teenager what kind of criteria are you going to use when you choose your friends so they start thinking then where they may have never thought before about that what what type of study habits are you trying to develop now that are going to help you later in life here here's a question I wish I had someone had asked me when I was a teenager do you think the choices that you make now will affect you as an adult I never thought that I would deal with some of the things I've had to deal with as an adult because things I did as a teenager this is the time to ask questions when our children were making this transition to adolescents at the age of thirteen we had a covenant ceremony with him I did it with the guys that be did it with our daughter we would take him on an overnight trip we had a ring for him so I did both our boys Debbie did our daughter we made a covenant with him now part of the things that we talked about their covenant we talked about a lot of things but let me just use one example we talked about dating we went through the facts of life with them we did it when they were 10 and 13 reason we did it when they were 10 is because they were gonna hear things at school so we went through the facts of life but at 13 when we made the covenant and when we went through that we said now here are some things you need to understand you're going to begin to start being attracted to the opposite sex and when that happens we want to tell you some things that's going to happen in your body will tell you some things will happen your emotions and so we told them and then we said we want to make a covenant with you you have a part and we have a part and we said your part is that you'll talk to us and be open and honest with us when you're attracted to someone that you'll keep yourself pure that you won't cross these boundaries that God has set in place for your protection before marriage we went through all the things that this is your part of the code then I said this is my part of the Covenant my part of the Covenant is that I commit myself to pray with you about your spouse and I we explained to him why you have to tell teenagers why we said because we know you better than anyone else in the world knows you we know your personality we know your gift is so we're gonna help you in this process but then I wanted to kind of incentive ice my teenagers you know and so I said and part of my covenant is you can keep York apart but part of my covenant is that I'm going to pay for any expenses with the wedding whether you're a boy or girl because they're expenses on both sides I'm gonna pay another thing I'm going to do is I wanna pay for your honeymoon I'm gonna pay for your college whatever it is I'll pay for all of it you'll have no student debt no matter what I'll take on the student debt if I have to and then I said and I'm gonna help you buy your first house now I look back on that now and think thank God that people buy my books now because I I wouldn't have ever been I wouldn't be don't keep all these promises that I made I don't know why I did that but we've been able to help our children financially but I remember with Josh my oldest son when he was 13 I wanted to teach him something about God's grace during this time and so I went through this and I said now we're making a covenant you have a partner I have a part and I said to him what and my part is very big to it since it's big financial commitment on my part I said but what's going to happen if you don't do your part and I was expecting him to say well then he won't do your part my 13 year old son surprised me he sat there for a moment he said you'll probably still do your part and I remember thinking you stole my thunder you stole my teaching moment you know I said well if you don't do your part why do you think that I'll do my part and he said because you've taught me that even when we do things wrong things wrong God still loves us and I think you're like God daddy and I think you're gonna love me this is what we do we go this is a time of life we take our young people through from childhood to adulthood and it's very important and then the last adult to it i you i'm using the word trusting trusting so hopefully we can remember these three words training teaching trusting let me say another way children are trained teenagers are taught adults are trusting children are trained teenagers are taught adults are trusting adulthood again in the bible starts at 20 years old i don't have time to give you all the scriptures but i'll give you just a few references that you can look at later all right Exodus 30 verse 14 says that twenty they were beginning to give offerings now I think it's good to teach our children to give offerings but this was actually referring to a temple tax they were required to start paying this when they turn 20 God saw them as adults numbers 1 verse 3 at 20 they had to go to war they didn't have to go to war until they were 20 years old God saw them as adults numbers 14 29 30 32 at 20 they were held responsible for their sin at 20 this is how he said he said your little ones who had no knowledge of good and evil will still go into the promised land but every one 20 years old and up other than Joshua and Caleb will die in the wilderness so God sets an age at 20 now one of the things that many of us have done is kind of said I have even heard people say this well once they're married they're adults no that's not true they're adults when they turn 20 and let me with someone of the Scriptures and field will use this therefore man shall leave his father and mother and cleave his life in other words they're under my authority until they get married no take the scripture for what it says listen what it says therefore a man a man shall leave his father mother it doesn't say a boy he's already a man I think about this what if they never get married some people are not called to marriage so I'm called to celibacy the Jesus even talked about that himself so what if they never get married are they gonna have to you know when they're 65 they're gonna have to ask your permission to retire you know so they're grown and they need to be treated as adults this is the reason that I named this message blessed sons and daughters got bless children I am calling them adult sons and daughters and I don't like even like the term adult children it's an oxymoron think about it if they're adults then they're not children and and we have all these problems because people don't understand that I really think parents get in the way sometimes when God's trying to do something in an adult's life that's an adult he's an adult now let him be an adult you remember the story of Samson we were just in Israel and I saw the place where Samson was born where his tomb is now and the it's a hill and where he went down that hill to Timna and he fell in love with the Philistine woman he wanted to marry her and his parents didn't wanting to I want you to notice the scripture that a lot of people miss verse judges 14 verse 4 but his father and mother did not know that it was of the Lord that he was seeking an occasion to move against the Philistines for at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel okay his mother and father didn't know now this is not Delilah by the way this is before Delilah this is another Philistine woman here's what I think this happening I think God was trying to teach Samson some because he marries another Philistine woman named Delilah and loses the anointing of God and I think his parents didn't know what God's Will was or are you following me so so many times we feel like we still need to parent them I've had to even help Debbie in this because as our sons and daughters became adults many times she want me to step in sometimes or be a little firmer in our counsel then I would say to her honey they're adults they're adults now our parenting role is over a parent the word parent can be a noun and can be a verb in other words yes I am a parent but I do not parent anymore because I don't have children anymore I have adult sons and daughters or y'all following this okay and I've got to see them that way let me tell you another thing you might not have ever thought about this my sons and daughters this one this might blow you away my sons and daughters are now my brothers and sisters in Christ in Christ there's no male nor female in Christ there ma listen what this why say sons and daughters yes I have I have sons and daughters they all have children of their own they're parents now they that yes they're my sons and daughters but they're mothers and fathers so they're not my kids anymore they're my brothers and sisters in Christ that means that they can come to me for advice but what they're actually doing is they're coming to a brother in Christ you realize that some sons and daughters some grown sons and daughters won't go to their parents anymore for advice there are two reasons one one is sometimes parents try to control it's one years parents let me say this way parents think if they don't take my advice that's dishonouring me that's not honoring me you know y'all you asked us if you should make this move and we said no but you did it anyway and the Bible says you're to honor your mother and father let me just talk to some of you about that right there let me tell you what that actually is that's spiritual abuse when you quote scripture to get your way that's wrong you don't have anymore authority in that person's life that persons are grown up a person's an adult so sometimes grown sons and daughters adult sons and daughters won't go to their parents for counsel but David sometimes it's the other way around too sometimes there is a dishonouring because you ought to honor them and ask for their counsel honor your mother and father doesn't mean you have to do it you should because you're an adult you have to hear God I have known adult sons and daughters that have just announced made an announcement we've decided we're moving or we've dived I've decided to quit my job they never even asked him that is dishonouring that is Dishonored and here's the reason that they do it many times it's because they haven't made the transition from adolescence or childhood to adulthood yet and they don't have the courage to say you know would you pray with us about this because they fear the parents might say well we would rather you not do this they don't have the courage and say well thank you we'll go back and pray again but then they might have come back and say now that we prayed about it we appreciate your counsel but we know for sure this is what God has spoken to us or you're following me this this this would solve about 99 percent of family marriage counseling right here if we would allow adult sons and daughters to just simply grow up and treat them as brothers and sisters now so I want to show you a scripture about this and it's a scripture that's misunderstood a lot and you know that I love to talk about biblical exegesis cohesive exegesis contextual exegesis yeah in other words the meaning that we draw out of scripture has to be cohesive with the entire Bible and the context okay so here's a scripture that if you don't understand it in the context of the chapter and calls it to be cohesive with the rest of the Bible you'll never understand it first of all let me give you the context of the chapter right Jesus is rebuking the Pharisees for spiritual abuse he's actually talking about spiritual abuse and he's rebuking the Pharisees for it and that's when he says this these famous verses Matthew 23 8 through 10 but you do not be called rabbi for one is your teacher the Christ and you are all brethren notice again I said brothers and sisters in Christ you're all brethren so don't be called a rabbi then he says do not call anyone on earth your father again if you don't make this cohesive with the rest of the Bible you'll never understand it for one is your father who is in heaven and do not be called teachers and this word is better translated master some some translations translate master for one is your teacher and again it's not the normal word for teacher it's the word for master one is your master the Christ now let me tell you a couple things but first of all I think the Trinity is in there because when he says you have a teacher who is the Christ remember though the Christ Jesus the Messiah the sent one said hey I am going away but I'm gonna send another who's like me he will teach you all things I think that's the Holy Spirit is our teacher and then he says and then you have a father in heaven and then you have a master and that's Jesus Lord so there's the Trinity right there but here's the reason he was saying this the Pharisees loved titles and they loved to abuse the authority of the title so what he was saying was listen if you're going to just say that because you have some title you have authority over this person you need to know that the ones who have authority or the Holy Spirit the father and the son those are the ones who have authority and you're all brothers that's that's it you're all right are y'all following this that's why he says this get you get over this thing about having some title and have someone give you a title like you're greater than because no matter what your age is or no matter even if you're the biological parent what that person becomes an adult you're now his brother in Christ you're his sister in Christ in Christ you're all the same one time I was meeting with a Christian counselor and we were talking about things and he said to me did you ever have a time when you were welcomed into manhood and as soon as he said that I thought yes I did and I told him about it and I have a great father and great mother and but I might might when I was uh my father owned the company and my father when I was in college when I went to college gave me one of his credit cards and said you know put meals and things like this on my credit card I remember the first month he got the bill he called me because what was happening was that I had normal friends and didn't have a father like that and we'd go out to eat and they'd say hey I don't really pay til Friday can you you know buy my meal and I so he got the bill and would notice okay one person could not have eaten this much food so my dad called me and said are you buying other people's meals on my credit card and I remember I said to him well yeah but they're paying me back he said they're not paying me back son but anyway when I went on my honeymoon he said to me put all your expenses on the credit card put every I said I want to pay for your honeymoon when I got back he said hey come to my office first thing Monday morning when you get back I said okay I walk in his office remember dad owns the company walk in his office I'm just one of the employees at the company walk in and he says you have a good honeymoon good you enjoy everything yes did you put everything he could on the credit card I said yes I did he said great he said stand up I stood up he said give me back my credit card pulled it out of my wallet I've had it all through college you know and had on the honeymoon I was married now he said you and my credit card I gave you my credit card then he put it in his wallet he stuck his hand out and congratulations son you are now a man you're an owl man and I remember he said this to me you need to provide for your family from now like I provided for you and you need to lead your family spiritually like I've led you but you're a man from this moment on that that's what a lot of young men need today and if you haven't heard it from a biological father then hear it from a spiritual father you be a man you know the last words of David to Solomon his last words you know what he said he said be strong and prove that you're a man prove yourself a man anyway I'm worried we're not talking about provision or the world's definition of a man and what he was talking about was you love God with all your heart mind soul and strength and you'll prove yourself to be a man I think God's a generational God God he's he'd names himself God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob he's a generational God let me tell you one more thing about adult sons and daughters as you know a little over a year ago Josh came to me and said talk to me about dad just have some things stirring in my heart want to get your counsel he incoming announced something to me he came to ask me and we start when we started talking then it started coming about that he had it in his heart to plan a church okay if you remember I told you this I had it in my plan that he would be my successor in seven to ten years he would be the one to succeed me and so that was my plan but but he's an adult so he comes and says I don't have that's not in my heart I want to talk to you about it I said let's talk about it I said you're released you're released from my plan and so now he's in Austin and in a couple of months you know he's going to plant a church okay but let me tell you just two weeks ago I was going to Israel but we weren't leaving until Saturday evening so during the four o'clock service when my son was standing in this pulpit preaching I'm sitting right down there and he's preaching and he's feeding you the Word of God now you recognize good messages let me tell you what I recognize I recognize people to know how to feed I can see 10 things he's doing right that you might not even know he's doing right it's like one of the guys that works with me his name Mike Brisky he used to be a PGA Tour player he can tell you things about your golf swing you don't know I can tell you things about preachers you don't know like I can see it on so I'm sitting there watching my son feed you and thinking about you know I was thinking he was the one you know to follow me and I remember I had two thoughts my first thought was he messed up my plan I had it all planned out because because this and the number one thing when I do make that transition yes I want someone knows how to feed you the Word of God that's number one to me so that was my first thought he messed up my plan here was my second thought but I trust my son because I raised my son to be a man of God and he is now a man of God and he's following God I trust him I want you to bow your heads and close your eyes and with every message I don't know where you are in life but I want you to know that God can speak to you no matter where you are think about this God spoke to Moses and to his parents when Moses was in as a child he speaks to Mary as a teenager an adolescent the mother of Jesus he speaks to Abraham when he's 75 about being the father of many nations so God can speak to you no matter where you are in this phase of your life God still won't has a task for you an assignment for you so when I preach a message like this my question is always the same what's the Holy Spirit saying to you and I want you to ask the Lord that question and maybe you hear something right now maybe you'll hear something this next week when you're having your quiet time and the Lord will bring the message to your mind and you just ask them again Lord what are you saying to me through that message just take your just take take the week and let the Lord speak to you we want to pray with you no matter what you're going through if you're going through any type of difficulty any type of difficulty don't ever go to church and then and have some some area where you need prayer or not ask someone to pray with you that's what we're here for it's the body of Christ so if you need prayer you don't have to be a member of Gateway Church here's the way we do it in just a moment we have one more worship song and every campus and we're gonna have leaders at the front of every campus and if you need prayer for any area of your life as soon as we stand up you just stand up and just step out to the aisle come to the front of the of the campus or the overflow room where you are and just tell one of the leaders I need prayer and tell us what you need prayer about we walk to pray with you okay so you may need prayer about a family situation you may you may need prayer about an adult son or daughter that's away from the Lord you ought to agree with someone in prayer about that maybe you need for about a job or a financial situation or health situation if you need prayer don't leave without getting prayer okay so as soon as we stand up you just stand up step out and come to the front one of the leaders to let us pray with you Holy Spirit I pray you'll draw every person at every campus that needs prayer right now in Jesus name Amen

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Keywords: gatewaypeople, Gateway, Gateway Church, Robert Morris, Pastor Robert, Savior, Dallas, Southlake, Texas, Jesus, Sermon, salvation, christ, Love, Blessed Families, Blessed Sons And Daughters

Id: EW5VPnuw44o

Length: 39min 18sec (2358 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 19 2018