Roast Me Marathon | Season 3 | All Def

and what's up Squad we are back for another season of roast me man we just going to get it crank hey we going to get it cranked off right now man y'all give it up for to here man he built like a Volkswagen beat him here godamn get your punch ass out hey man we got we going to get the hot seat cranked off right now man coming to the hot seat all the way from sack Town y'all give it up a dop boy man everybody want way to go that man popped out if you don't get your goddamn Daddy I got the sugar goddamn D Bo got a Jamaican Patty in that shooting sleeve hey D Bo got a body Magic on his arm hey don't go take shots of insulin at the club hey hey you [ __ ] candy Ste in the rapper [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] they use Doughboy back for a burn Rubber trap you look like a albino chipmunk now he got D Boy socks soggy [ __ ] hey [ __ ] Fe they going got titty moisture on his stomach to hear you smoke cigarettes for breakfast [Applause] call new nickname alert hookah Gooding Jr we going to switch the to the high seat man all the way from Washington DC y'all give it up for Brandon bro goo let's go bro hey broy dress like Kanani why Billy dressed like a tampon commercial girl I wear this stop you don't get your hamster body having ass on hamster looking ass Billy dressed like a [ __ ] who got beat by a [ __ ] named Devin it's always domestic abuse for Billy Billy's undershirt snaps in his crotch Billy Just Got Fingered last night for the first time hey hey me all right [ __ ] stop playing [ __ ] like go ahead Jerome brother like he tried to look through the peephole of a [Applause] beehive they keep biting me they keep biting keep biting they keep biting me hey come to the seat man all the way from Pasadena California y'all give up a Craig Smith y'all fresh out of Clan meeting Craig craigin Head ass your head look like Tahir elbow ass [ __ ] Doughboy got gum disease [ __ ] Craig was born a stepfather I'm ra red look like an Arctic [Laughter] Chucky Jamar that [ __ ] Jamar look syndromic that that [ __ ] like he take bath with his mouth open like like good [Laughter] [Applause] brother that [ __ ] look like a Baldhead baby girl shut your big head ass Billy cell the type of [ __ ] that call you with the teth hey we going switch hey we going to switch it up switch it up come to the hot all the way from lwood California man y'all give it up for Brent Taylor man this [ __ ] look like a sugar red lard baby picture [ __ ] get a cold ass off a Lego [ __ ] like [ __ ] he ain't wearing these [ __ ] [ __ ] give me this [ __ ] it all on that [ __ ] BR got the belt that came with the pants swing in the Miss bull boy look [Laughter] boneless hey that Bo like a one piece nigg we come to the high seat man from Tacoma Washington y'all give it up for Kev hey hey keev pull your pants down a little bit keev on blood PR [Laughter] [Applause] breast [ __ ] that shirt got one more wear that's the day hey uh red gr got a clitters in the middle of his mouth can't believe you said that hold on does I got a bag and fix my teeth nothing nothing Tri you it is okay nigg do not have healthare you got the bag fix your te hey this [ __ ] C bu like black [Applause] China hey CP look like a WB [Laughter] frog [ __ ] look like his own M rore by itself they too worth too all right let's hurry up so toah here can do his lame Bryant shoot [Applause] later hey we G to switch it up man coming to the high seat man from compon California man y'all get upar jar got on hardwood Flor hey this [ __ ] Jam like he be biting the holes in the waffles wow hey Jamar look like the Ninja Turtle with his bandana off [ __ ] Nigel Angelo this [ __ ] Angelo [ __ ] oh [ __ ] hey J roome said Jamal look like he F to stump the [Laughter] yard you look like an albino dolphin you you have never had sex with a shirt off [Applause] Jamar look like a garbage pill kid this [ __ ] doughboy belly button probably got a G-spot [Applause] in I told you leave me leave me now look at you now yall bleed this [ __ ] you about but hey don't only the [ __ ] with front fart ex me God damn I'm sorry everybody I'm sorry [Applause] everybody hey hey hey we going to switch it up man come to the SE man from East St Louis man y'all give it up that's what you wanted right what I want this what you wanted to here got a Chrispy cream credit card run it again run it again run it again I know some money on this here pull your polar out your [Applause] ear got goddamn on my ear shut up C Head n that's what you can't do right now hey you connect [ __ ] look like Terence Howard just Kirby Simmons said Billy to like he review lace fronts on YouTube oh [ __ ] that's good J that's [Applause] good down him [Applause] down a fat version of the Cleveland Indian logo a hey hey that was a good one that was a good one that was he look like the True Religion man stop talking the Rhythm [ __ ] [ __ ] you like [Laughter] Buddha that [ __ ] came right back like have a whole thing of popcorn under this hey we going to switch it up man coming to the high seat man all the way from H time man H time's on y'all give up for Billy you are dressed like a v in this bit Ro you are dressed like a v in here sitting on the table get looking ass out Billy sleep like [Applause] this Billy take his hair off at night and put on the night stare I got a t Billy put Vaseline on his face before he Square Off don't get your B like Frankie bever I'm dressed like I'm going to go to a Frankie Beverly concert you do you t- get- man Chago on you get your unhygienic beard having ass hey you bu like a baby mama hold on real quick hey hey Billy outfit came with a boyfriend there he [Applause] is Glen Ford Jr said Billy look like he skate to the liquor Stone wow [Music] about I need to see a picture that was a good like a gospel P dispenser see how I did that bunch of Bibles come out of and [ __ ] like what you need you need a a King James hold on hold hold hold got a D of water in this what are you doing with this goddamn fat free water in this [ __ ] bil look like he about to go to a costume party dressed as a cliche oh my God let me get some Skittles that [ __ ] spit spit bur like a [ __ ] Billy your pass came with some stat 7 [ __ ] your P was some Min stat s hey we going to switch up the high seat man y'all get up a billy man coming to the high seat man all the way from Chicago Illinois man y give it up for t t Murph going to swing hurry up T already bombing T Murph like a high school bully and sit on the desk t m every com that [ __ ] got three different jeans on got every time te walk in the Baby Gap they be like sir you have a beer Billy Bill like everybody from the back Billy stole them Billy Billy stole them earrings with a c video set Billy sex with his legs hey Billy I feel uncomfortable I've never had my sexuality so much in question by some [ __ ] dog what like dressing like that stop looking at me that boy built like a 2 lit Pepsi how many donuts another one another gr look like Miss Piggy and drag I don't I don't even know it's Happ I don't even know hey if Jay-Z was fat that's what it look like [Music] lazy hey Billy be looking at his wig like no no I'm funny without it hey C Happ to have freas with Hats both y'all come together just get on one both y'all just do your thing together T Mur like he dropped off the top of a lesbian wedding cake they love each other man so they love each other it's legal so we got to support [Music] it Billy and his wife get there period at the same time oh wow they sinked up they sinked up them tampons you I to we it up man come to the house from Detroit y give up [Applause] C [ __ ] about to call what you say what your hair about to cough set your on the grill built ass up what y'all want [ __ ] who want cheese on this [ __ ] this [ __ ] look like a EBT Anthony Hamilton oh hey Jamar got an East Side on the West Side hey don't trip man don't trip we don't [ __ ] with these [ __ ] we don't [ __ ] with these [ __ ] through eyes of the world I can tell by CP bottom lip that his tongue is probably dead [Applause] oh [ __ ] hey that was a good one that [ __ ] t- murf arm so little he can only do ankle ankle sock puppies hey [ __ ] you so short you sneeze and suck your own [Laughter] dick funny what's your Li that's bro Craig and CP got on hisel and hisel chain hey hey that's a good one boy like the word play I got one guys no I go Red Grant look like the hamburger look with his mask [Laughter] on hey we going to switch the high seat man come to the high seat last but not least man all the way from Washington DC y'all get up a red gr hey red say suffering suck attack hey red bite all the holes in his belt before he put them [Applause] on here it is I'm a 35 is a is that a t-shirt or a tank top a never had the floss t m you came out your mother [ __ ] the same size this [ __ ] walked out when he left the house all right I'll be back around baby body ass [ __ ] Kev and Craig got a tour together oh nobody coming [Applause] [ __ ] man that's been another episode of roast me man y'all give it up for [Applause] y make sure you guys tune in every Tuesday at 4M eastern time man Pacific time my bad 400 p.m. Pacific Time roast me subscribe to YouTube all de digital I'm your host Brandon Lewis y'all give it up for the squad one more time man and we are out we to the comments howy what you got in the comments from our Facebook family Donovan bulock says that Billy's outfit looked like it came with a shower Bonnet what's up what's up Joshua J Bullock says that Keenan look like common little brother [Laughter] regular Ryan Anthony Luma says that Kev dressed like he hand clap after every word that was a great act that wasun what was his name got Emojis all in it Aisha Sierra Asante says that Trevor knows so sharp he cuts his hands when he sneezes sorry I know you in detention I'm so sorry Darius W says Trevor looks like he'll shoot up class if you put him in detention again what's up guys welcome to another episode of roast me the show of comedic insults I'm your host Brandon Lewis and y'all give it up for the [Applause] squad now before we get this show cranked off we have added some new elements to the game number one is detention right now you will get sent to detention if you tell bad jokes or kill the vibe of the room but you do have a chance to come back but you will be sent to detention number two Tony Baker is suspension now you will be suspended off the episode with no chance of return if you just bombing and just ruining the show kind of like how you suspended your side too out your mou sit that [ __ ] ho [ __ ] hey D boy suspended all vegetables from his diet but but last but not least the last element that we added to the game is my teacher assistant y'all give it up for the lovely me wi you got a microw away your dinner now Meg will be reading the comments and the jokes that you guys yes you the fans send via Facebook now with that being said let's crank the show off y'all give it up for to hear he built like churro bites yes now we going to get this hot seat cranked out man come to the hot seat first all the way from Memphis Tennessee y'all give it up for my dog Mr Tut [Applause] Weezy hey to Wheezy built like I'm sorry I lied to you Martin I just didn't want to go to [Applause] [Music] Arizona like a baby okay Andy your sister called she said stay her jewelry box hey hey hey T jeans didn't have no holes in them but d boy thought he had we seat up man come all the way from L Rock Arkansas y'all giving up a Christian that [Applause] Comm new nickname alert Brad Hammond I like that onead Hamond nice word play nice word play that [ __ ] built like he make gummy bear salsa [ __ ] baby get your you need Tony your teeth look like Doughboy tried to sit in between them that [ __ ] Christian built like a gospel bullfrog [ __ ] Chris built like a stuffed pork chop look like a professional tamarine player boy what is going on all we go switch the SE up man we that [ __ ] got [ __ ] got a Bible pocket on his [Music] pants hey we G to switch the hot seat up man we going to switch the high seat up man we going to switch it up coming to the high seat man all the way from California y'all give it up for [Applause] Louis that [ __ ] Louis built like a mosquito snout hey that [ __ ] louw got the house arrest threes [Laughter] [Music] on [ __ ] built like a ostrich leg that [ __ ] Tony Baker is an animal weirdo [ __ ] that [ __ ] that n that [ __ ] that [ __ ] Tony Bakery got a diary Diary with a dog rape planned in it [ __ ] so here built like a pineapple soda hey Louis FR I could trade a I could train a hum shut the all right man we going to switch the high seat up man we going to switch it up we going to switch it up coming to the high seat man all the way from East St Louis y'all give it up but to hear more he here big he from East and West St Louis at the same time hey sh here you so fat your stomach sticks out to here hey so here got on a Golden Corral members only jacket I go straight to the with this one I got a gold card I've been here before to hear text this [ __ ] right now I ain't got no Patties [Applause] [Laughter] on that [ __ ] neck tattoo look like a stretch mark shut all right man we going to go ahead and send the first we going to go ahead and send the first person detention we going send I got to send you to detention Bo [ __ ] mop P you got on [ __ ] we got to send that [ __ ] need to get attention too then we oh let me go the top of Doughboy belt stink hey here dress like the sand meeting the ocean right now he said got a beat b got a beat b hold on let me let me let me get Kevin with the act out on this one okay Kevin take off his pants like this [ __ ] with your ass hey hey hey hey we G to give atten y'all give to the new student Brandon broad all the way from DC hey y'all give it up for Bruno scars all right man we going to switch the high seat up man come to the high seat all the way from Sacramento swag y'all give it up for Doughboy boy Doughboy built like a vacation barber school van d boy built like he died once a day I saw I swear to God I saw that [ __ ] swallow a heart attack today like heyy your boy blood pressure is all the way up nothing can stop it don't thought Eddie for Autumn Donuts no no I really want to work it no reason in particular no boy build like he eating the [Laughter] shower all right man we going to switch the hot seat up man I give up a do boy coming all the way to the hot seat man from Chicago Illinois y'all give it for my dog Mr Tony Baker y' all right lose tee M Tony's a weirdo he looks dogs in the eyes while they urinate to here's gums have his teeth surrounded hey right hey Tony teeth look like escalator steps under bite killing feel Tony got the jawline of a Alaskan salmon you got to know what that [ __ ] look like chrisan neck is three different colors uhhuh uhhuh yeah you sell shade for a Liv Christ hey Christian built like E Honda from Street Fighter all right all right we we go sister High seat up man come to all the way from DC y'all good with my dog Brandon Brody hey Brody wash his face with glasso bro got a sue everywhere broy proactive was inactive there you go BR look like the girl from The Exorcist spitting his face broy face look like boiling spaghetti [Laughter] sauce hey to here look like Fred Hamford hey we C we go switch the high seat up man coming to the I seat y'all get Brandon bro come to the I seat man all the way from Pasadena California y'all up for CRA get your ass up there CRA smash this [ __ ] Craig dressed like Super Nintendo hey C like he got empanado flavored candles in his [Laughter] house real [ __ ] I bet you probably can get raped by a seahorse [ __ ] you look like you sleep with your head in the microwave bro that's funny Craig look like an ex-con mechanic oh hey dogs don't trust Tony when he walks them they they back pedal like pit bu mixing fat J ah you weak built FR [ __ ] you look like you let other [ __ ] name your kids you got no no no we got after my daddy's daddy Craig built like he stay with his mama and write his name on orange juice if a shark ate you and have high blood pressure God D this Raj n says CRA like he's trying to start over after a divorce your mama paid ties with dick sucks [Laughter] R hey hey n Craig got a grown grown face baby your neck hanging over your collar like this don't interrupt my RO what we got what we got in the comments man Aaron Lum says Craig test his bath water with his elbow that's fun Craig still text people collect from [Laughter] the that is funny if Brandon Brody's jacket could speak it would look at his face and say twinsies [Laughter] [ __ ] your boy bu like a duffel bag filled with [Laughter] catfish to he look like he sleeping rocking chairs what to look like he sleeping rocking chairs all right man we G to send another person to detention we going to send Tony to the detention y'all got to send Tony back to detention I'm sorry I had to do it it's going to be fights in detention coming to the I see we going to bring him right back up again I give it up for Louis Bel AKA back to the SE with the samees Lou look like the type of [ __ ] that want to square up with you if you want buy his [Laughter] mixtape play [ __ ] babies cry when to hear [Laughter] Smiles so here is a bouncer at the keer elf Factory hey no no marel EP said L like he look like getting held from the [Applause] back Kristen built like a Patty pie know what a Patty pie is p pie Patty pie like a stalker at a temp service that's funny [ __ ] godam get [Laughter] on he still trying tole boes off the we going switch the H seat uping to the seat all the way from Tacoma Watson y'all give for my dog oh [ __ ] [ __ ] cev can't yawn without falling backwards [ __ ] to a nigga's LP H joinus web says Kev got tank Hops at say only guy can judge [Laughter] me Kev the type of [ __ ] that have a bead door on his man cave so here look like he answer the door in a road with [ __ ] coming over y'all ready to watch the fight [Laughter] I heard insecure Z tonight and he got CAU in between his toes [ __ ] Kev beat his wife after he drink too much root beer I love root beer look like every bad [ __ ] in high school that can fight let's go [ __ ] love do this every bad [ __ ] love doing this hey Christian shop at Forever 211 like they had to put a ACL on Kevin's neck so he can hold his head [Applause] up he don't like that box on keep your head upate hey hey hey Christen real like a TI Pig pet now Christian build like the bubbles when you about to text hey hey Christian put those glasses on just so he can read recipe come here stand up again stand up again hold [Applause] on smells like [Applause] butt oh my God got to get there when you get disrespectful we got to square up after this [ __ ] you got beat the we got to S attention he's a little heated we got to let him cool off to have a we got to send here to detention we got to let you cool off [ __ ] that [ __ ] man we going to rotate the high seat man coming back to the high seat all the way from Sacramento y give it up for Dough Boy yeah hey Doughboy like he took a picture of the menu so when he at the house he can know what he want before he get there it's on the screen saying I'm get that number three you look like you go through your nigga's phone at night who is this [ __ ] it sounds like you're insecure Ryan Lumis says Kev tie his wife beaters in a knot at the bottom hey D booy always look like he got a fanny pack [Laughter] on hold on let me see oh that's my fat hold on that's right here what you got in there check that game so you can't bring real gold makes Doughboy Break [Laughter] Out Boy be like the piece of her driver who asked can he eat something with you is it okay I had pretty hungry I got lost is it okay if I get some all opening your pizza box and smelling it if Doughboy went on a hunger strike my kids would grow up does that even mean it means you're F ho [ __ ] I said it hey we go switch the hot seat up man coming back to the hot seat man from Chicago now you can look me in the eyes with the yasine green says Brody sneakers are like all my life I had to fight that was a great delivery man for that see you lowkey roasting with that man Tony a weirdo he do voiceovers through the door while his kids boo [Laughter] boo Let It Go son had a hard day and that's been another episode of Ro man y'all give it up for the squad before we get out of here man we need y'all to write down below in the comments and let us know who was the best roster for today and tune in every Tuesday at 4 pm and watch us live on Facebook roast me I'm your host Bren Lewis y'all get up for the squad what we got what we got in the comments man says Craig test his bath water with his elbow that's F Mar said L look like he look like getting held from [Applause] the Jordan says Kev got tank tops I say Only God can judge me Ryan Lumis says Kev tie his wife beaters in a knot at the bottom says Doughboy got post pregancy bodies he he do look like he just delivered Yas green says bro sneakers are like all my life I had to [Laughter] fight you EX for that see you lowkey roasting with that man what's up y'all welcome to another episode of roast me the show of comedic insults I'm your host Brandon Lewis and y'all give it up for the squad now before we get to the show cranked off we have added some new elements to the game number one is detension now you will be sent to detention if you kill the game show energy or say bad jokes I was seen to detention but you do got a chance to come back number two is suspension now you will be suspended off the episode if you continue to bomb continue to say bad jokes continue just to mess up my show I got to suspend you from the episode and you will not be able to come back so so we just send Billy over there right now what we just send Billy now that was a name you no response on that and number three last but not least we have a teacher assistance y'all give it up for the for Heidi heit all the way from Los Angeles now Heidi will be reading the comments that you send yes you via Facebook to her she will be reading them off letting us know what you think and how you feel now y'all give it up for Nate he built like a Swiss roll you dressed like a tampon let's go all right man we going to get the high seat going man come to the high seat first all the way from Los Angeles y'all give it up for legend straight off of Naros we looking for Pablo I got to kick it off with a doughboy joke I caught that [ __ ] Doughboy putting the extra piece of bread on a Big Mac let me can I get a bigger Mac can I get a double big I got a joke this is an easy one how come you can't play Uno with Legend why not you steal all the green cards only you can make that work don't boy dress like Barack Obeso be baraco bees that [ __ ] David built like he swallow skulls that [ __ ] Craig got a play pin full of pit bull puppies I like the P play Legend be drinking beans and rice smoothies that's so racist that's so [ __ ] racist come to the high SE man all the way from Los Angeles California y'all give it up for Trev Trevor you got to ask Trevor where Smithers Homer it's Homer Simpson sector 7 G that boy got his ill and degenerous outfit on I know what he thinking [ __ ] you know what it is the PS got that hey that's good oh [ __ ] ain't never miss a little mama versus his life keep digging Trevor got a long ass neck and that [ __ ] hold his breath for 2 minutes that was he look like he could build a soy bean pipe bomb if I knock on doughbys refrigerator a family of hams would [Laughter] answer nobody look like a used toaster [Laughter] salesman right we go to the comments how what you got in the comments from my Facebook family Don bulock says that Billy's outfit looked like it came with a shower Bonnet what's up what's up hey Billy cut his cocaine with glitter before he sniff it all right that's a good that's a good I'm give you good hey that's a good one don't wor getting [ __ ] dog I'm I'm happy for him look like his nose bleed when he get frustrated you pissing me off man [ __ ] [ __ ] this is [ __ ] right SE wewi come to the seat all the way from Los Angeles appreciate the trail y'all give it up for Ken and [Applause] Baker ass Kenan over Kenan look like he got fir for being musty you got P for you come the last you P for you coming here boy David look like he kissed a skillet what you going to eat your cornbread yes eat it David buil like he could sit down on his back God damn it that [ __ ] Billy got on a near long wig you always go hey a good comeback alone dop boy run out of breath when he Sleepwalk know if David jog with his shirt off it'll sound like walrus is playing Hot Hands hey hey kill you kill youit all right man we go Swit man come to the man all the way from Seattle watching y'all give it up for Nate Jackson Nate hey what the [ __ ] only way Nate can sleep on a hammock is if they laid the blanket on the [Laughter] [Applause] groundy hey God damn it that's funny bro Nate look like he always smell like outside bite your tongue your mouth and fill up with gravy [ __ ] called you a pot pie here's the carrots and potatoes hey I got to send somebody to detention man I got to send Legend man he ain't said nothing he Ain got nothing I got to S get your ass on the other side of that wall hey that's right [ __ ] been singing man yeah [ __ ] that's the dreamer act [ __ ] get up out of here they got a body like a pregnant rock waller [Laughter] he during hippo Maiden season [Applause] they hi leg season they C they caught they caught Nate doing belly flops in the zoo swimming pool all right man come in class man all the way from Tacoma watching y'all give it up a yeah on hey ke look like he drink sweet tea to his [ __ ] hey hey boy tell us the deal you got on 97 us Hondas I got another used Honda you want to drive it today like what he say not here you got to detention I'm sorry man wait wait wait wait wait you left TIY torch hey Nate favorite movie is pursuit of [Laughter] heaviness the from Angeles California my dog [Applause] BR what's up that [ __ ] just got off at the car wash we going to switch the high seat up man appreciate you Nate coming all the way from Houston Texas y'all giveing up a Billy hey my friend Billy freeballing n Billy got that [ __ ] Billy got hair like a puppy tummy Billy leave here he going drop a fire ass for the d challenge I just got that one snuck me snuck me Billy ride backwards on his homeboy motorcycle motorcycle wheelies and [ __ ] hey dboy T still kneeling for the national anth really the type [ __ ] to ask his homeboy for a few bites of his cereal don't let him do that you put it up again put it up again hands that [ __ ] Billy fake a headache so he ain't got a [ __ ] hey hey Billy put his wife tampon in his butt to see how it [Applause] feels Billy watching secure only in a wife beat her that [ __ ] pants are pierced that [ __ ] Billy got a two-piece swimsuit under right there hell yeah [Laughter] ticklish you get your target associate dress that [ __ ] Billy get in free on ladies [Laughter] night uh I got uh Jan catrell Wilson says Kev look like somebody lined him up with they feet [Applause] all right we man y'all give up for Billy come to the hot seat all the way from mtown Mak Georgia y'all give up for my dog David [Applause] L whoa whoa whoa with the sitting on the table fam hold on hold on [ __ ] you two Happy Meals away from my size [ __ ] two fat [ __ ] fighting I ain't never seen [ __ ] [Laughter] World let I'm try to get him with the ACT I'm trying to get him with the ACT you got what you got what you got David R David run like this I like that all right man I got to send Ken into the tension man saying nothing he been studying the room he now back to Thea that [ __ ] going to be on a lunch ladies of Comedy got choc milk all right that was something there I like coming back to class man all the way from get up a legend I got a question he ain't been saying [ __ ] [ __ ] do you speak English like d his [Laughter] soundt Nate Shero TI looks like a waist trainer yeah that's why you w that's why he Qui 136 Chihuahuas in his right you want to get the chihuaha Billy looks like he sponsored by fashion Nova that's pretty good all right man we go switch to house appreciate it Dave I see coming all the way from Los Ang y'all for my dog Brent Tay oh what the [ __ ] hey [ __ ] BR just like hey Brent family put the stuff away when he come over silverware not the baby pacifier Brit Brit got his head turned sideways like he go like man one more time for this coke thank you hey doboy suit is rip away it's a breakway suit my God that [ __ ] BR sell fish plates behind the car wash David used to break dance now he doing [Laughter] security your boy whispered Kev look like a snack to Craig it's a [Laughter] snack hey D boy go to the pond to feed ducks but eat all the bread the DU be like he we got to hurry up doorboy got to go door to door and sell [Laughter] vacuums now listen before you before you slam it hear me out how long do it take you look like a homeless pimp I a got nowhere to go but I love these [ __ ] last one of them hey Doughboy got a Uber Eats executive membership they'll bring it to my door that hey that [ __ ] Doughboy's tie is edible they printed that nigga's diploma on the fruit roll up keep going Nate keep going all right man matter of fact we going switch the high SE I appreciate it Brent come to the high seat man all the way from Sacramento California y'all give it up a boom boom boom boom boom y Bo hey that t jam show loud to the [ __ ] boy no like a church man driver no like a church van n Jackson snack on buang cubes [ __ ] you're still teething do go ahead do Monique arms Craig well hold on Craig got mannequin legs hey you built like after the game you drink the Gatorade bath in my mouth in my mouth it's open Co get KN [ __ ] don't boy take pizzas out the oven with his bare hands pizzas you kiss ovens oh you got to send you to the T I got to send my dog was All Out Boy fist look like [Laughter] croissant he hey hey boy hey hey godam yes hold on hold on I'mma do your suit a favor that [ __ ] suit was like this the same suit Luther had on when he said he was dancing with his [Laughter] father it would be this hey Doughboy beat his meat to iron chef competition oh all right man coming back to class man all the way from Los Angel y' get up a TR comeing straight out of Clan rally coming to the hot SE all the way from Los Ang y'all give up a legend we going bring hey that [ __ ] cig mouth built like he just blow hot drinks all day Legend look like a fos poas model you can get two shirts for $50 hey Legend brought his homeboy home to meet his mom on prom night this is Hector this is who I am and I love him's uh Darius Ford says Trevor looks like he'll shoot up class if you put him in detention again Trev hat mmore should have won best album I don't see what the problem is I mean Kendrick's okay but did you hear Thrift shot [ __ ] it was thft all right baby go switch the seat appreciate Legend coming to the high seat all the way from Tacoma Washington y'all give it up a c on [Applause] stage he built like somebody bad Auntie he built like an Auntie without a bra on baby get my bra out the back Billy you ain't wearing your bra right now Kev can't get hoodies past his ears you got to cut his space he got to cut some space inny Kev got bigger titties than my girl and she breastfeeding right now it's for Chata though all right all right we got to give time to get D Bo to get the collection plates uh oh get your praise and worship worship him right now everybody worship him I have three invitations today hey don't boy dress like he about to take up a second offering one more time for the Lord dig deep in your pocket and is the greatness K knocked himself out trying to take off a turtleneck get your head ass up on care and that's been another episode of roast give it up for the squad man gas before we get out of here we need you guys to like subscribe and comment down below and let us know who was the best rooster for today's episode and before we get out of here make sure you guys tune in every Tuesday 400 p.m. Western time Pacific time and 7:00 p.m. eastern time I'm sor about like I said tune in every Tuesday Pacific Time 700 P p.m. eastern time I'm your host Brandon Lewis y'all give it up for the squad and we are out all right man we gonna go to be some on be some on what you got Jonathan Park says Craig look like he started a Poetry Club in prison that's funny Oscar Escobar says K look like Neo when he takes his hat off Spencer Ellis Norman says kevic like he swing his legs when he getting a [Applause] haircut so John Willer says dough booy gets knee dances cuz his lap gone Dam y That's good that was good good visual Bel John says Chris teeth Chris's teeth get in the way when he giving head [Applause] me what's up y'all welcome to another episode of roast me the show of comedic ins I'm your host Brandon Lewis y'all give it up for the squad we love you now before we get this show cranked off man I'm going to give you a quick rundown of the new elements that we brought to the game first off let's introduce my teacher assistant all the way from Japan let's give it up for [Music] aikoo now Aiko will be reading the comments that you guys send in via Facebook so make sure they're funny and bring the heat second of all y'all give it up for Doughboy he built like second Corinthians even mean you feel like a King James B the Kuran body all right all right we going get the high SE cranked off man come to the high SE first all the way from Los Angeles AKA Korea Town dumbfounded oh yugan oh [ __ ] don't hold on hold on I got a MC fortune cookie bizar from D12 you this this guy's old y'all give I need y for Tony Baker I don't know Tony Baker Hey listen that [ __ ] that [ __ ] head pregnant that n look like he's going to go your wax on wax out buil ass dumbfounded Civics in the back of Target [ __ ] to Furious Brent look like he usually in a wheelchair you have that small body their legs are never that big this [ __ ] Skip Leg year Dum found it look like Su young and drag R show he said that he's just confident don't get your hippie ass over all them goddamn hips you got over there thick bit [Laughter] [ __ ] get your Stout ass on that man St the [ __ ] man Dough Boy took a lunch break in the water during a swim lesson [ __ ] what hey this how Craig take tell a joke Dum found it look like a small cat laugh at me all right all right hold that hold that though we're GNA go to AO AO what you have Eric Young JR says Brent look like crazy Lake from don't be a menace he does look like crazy L another my favorite movie though all right we going to switch the high SE man y'all give it up a coming to the high sea man all the way from Los Angeles y'all give it up a Brent T get him a ladder that [ __ ] bris so short he got a slam duck his change on the bus there you go hey damn that was funny do that show old the age hey Craig look like he work at security toss hey that's a good one are y'all readyy it's got the Rams the we play no boy put chocolate milk in a first aid kit hey that's a good one little bit of ice Craig Craig look like a motivated Doughboy oh oh really CHT do I got a joke for you in your native [Laughter] language I didn't want to laugh that's literally the oldest joke ever why are we laughing that's [ __ ] laugh Timothy hey hey booh how at girls like this hey let me talk to you girl know I'm saying you looking real turn around see what turn down hey now you understand what I'm saying I can do things for you to me that [ __ ] built like a trick mirror that I'm skinny I'm F at skinny I'm F at skinny I'm skinny you go you going throw your hip out if you don't stop he still got a s curl in 2017 that [ __ ] got a a male boobs hey Ms mobs mobs mobs move first TV appearan was on Unsolved [Applause] Mystery I on I on man hold that hold that we got to go to Io Io what you got Zachary P says Ben's girlfriend has to get one on one for him to propose translator dumb found it tell him and then you say tell him what is she saying what is she saying it's like a fast and furious Mo I don't know what's happening where the [ __ ] is Ricky train all right we going to switch the high seat up man y'all give it up coming to the high seat man all the way from Memphis man y'all give it up for SLE rck Ross with L what up brother nothing brother you going to leave me hanging brother I'm my bad that [ __ ] beard look like dop spot carpet [ __ ] you Ain a got on drawers you got the swim trunk n in your that n got a un neck I can see his nipp hey you brush your hair to the back H that look like he sound like my sound like my auntie that [ __ ] sley look like he collect naked uh Penitentiary traing [Laughter] cards [ __ ] I got F some you got to hatch me got on sweat jeans [ __ ] Loosey got on six different kind of black all right man hold that thought man I got to s somebody detention man he ain't said nothing all show got to S my dog chin he looking around like he said something say take it to your village back to your village hey hold up man we going to switch y'all get a sley manop it he broke the silence for that don't boy crazy but I guess I'm man all right coming in the class man all the way from mtown making Georgia y'all give it up for David bring your roly poly built ass on into the camera that [ __ ] got that [ __ ] got six night elbows he he built up like a second husband y a niggaer to get married second you know she got a good man now she ain't going to get treated bad this time all right man coming to the hot seat man all the way from making Georgia y'all give it up a d day heavy they hey they hang David out of helicopters to blow out wildfires oh man that [ __ ] care shap like a stick of deodorant I was hoping it wouldn't work would it do that [ __ ] Billy and his wife bumped coochie that [ __ ] David tattoos is full of menus that was a good joke it was better than why you got on hoop SS when we know you not hoop hey that's fun all he do is all he do is St no no I got next he fell to sleep in the pool only his back would get wet [Laughter] David's trying to feel his baby [Laughter] kicking he hey spny hun for two you do good you do good this time Billy your feet still tired from the [ __ ] walk walk oh oh yes that was good hey that saved you boy but it's not going to stop that cholesterol that [ __ ] [ __ ] shut up with that lunch lady wig on you can't survive salt [ __ ] salt is looking for you [ __ ] get your blood pressure down then me diabetes [Music] thing Daddy I got the sugar sock wear if you don't get your chemotherapy sock W NBA SHO it's all [ __ ] no those the Aisha alerson you don't get your stud you wearing out here Tamp say something David hey everybodyy ain't nothing you can do hey ain't nothing you can do I'm back with your [ __ ] wet about to get your under your arms ret too fat [ __ ] [ __ ] you and your wife fight over the vibrator that's a good comeback that's a good come going save you you know like a sensitive ass [Applause] ladybug the winner Dam you out here looking for a [ __ ] to help you raise your kid [Applause] [Applause] up man that [ __ ] Billy got baby powder in his underwear you don't get your baby pot everywhere all right all right coming to the high seat man all the way from Los Angeles South Central Los Angeles y'all give it up a Bo [Applause] cap give it up give it up that [ __ ] boo Runner uh ganger retirement center man your lips like you got white tape on them [ __ ] if that [ __ ] fall must have come out his out of here [ __ ] Boo looks like he got roaches in his car hey that's funny Bo like a black Fred Flintstone hey that [ __ ] got raped on good time what is happen what is happen he did a good time ref that [ __ ] boo keep his license in a Crown Royal bag do boo boo look like he slap box with his nephew before he got here anym hey got his Wonder Woman jeans boo look like he sell dead Christmas tree it'll fit it'll fit in the house you don't get your C built ass on out here that [ __ ] went to Taste of Soul and taste everybody [Laughter] fingers boo is on Scared [Laughter] Straight that [ __ ] was an Asian porno star they call him no poke if you tune in right now you can see buo doing all the best of Robin Harris jokes come to your live a simal cast show of Bo doing the best of Robin Harris that [ __ ] look like he painting no no no something from this generation that [ __ ] shirt look like a red letter ladies and gentlemen Ronaldo Ray get your ass out of here old [ __ ] let's go hey this [ __ ] got dressed all right hold that we going like a nice hold on we going to bring somebody back into class all the way from Los let's bring him back it's a bird fitler come on sit by me bring us some sou bird oh so so clever that n got some dirty ass shoes on Kevin built like a breakfast burrito hey got they be spilling out not the McDonald's I'm the Mexican on all right man we go s up y'all give it up a boo man give it coming to the high seat man all the way from age time y'all give it up for Billy s y'all likea easy D these is red bottom this is Sho you get ready to c v ass he look like a watermelon Laffy Taffy there you do Billy apologize for ass go on bottom feeding mouth having ass national g graphic teeth having ass [ __ ] you sleep in your wife's t-shirt [ __ ] it's still works no matter what no matter what he's doing it's still working all right we GNA go to EO EO what you got for us D Griffin says Billy look like he hiding from his baby daddy [ __ ] you see me testing you come here big all right y we go to switch the high seat up man y'all give it up for Billy hey coming to the high seat man all the way from Pasad California y'all give it up a crack give up a Craig man hey he been training out of work UFC fighter Craig teachers improv classes you going to pull a already lit black and mile out that head magician head having ass [ __ ] and for my next trick I'll move your whole apartment for 150 that [ __ ] look like T no no move a shoe H [ __ ] them shoes came with a dolling hold on y'all chin do got another one one more and you out of here one more you need to go where dooy is if you don't understand what I said no you need to go you're not funny today Billy Billy was happiest when he was dating Cisco hey and boo was managing him that [ __ ] K go to jail for the showers I was told it wouldn't work he killing me that [ __ ] Billy got a bikini wax [Laughter] you see what's happening David David built like the [Music] pein hey neither one of you look healthy chin parents got married Barefoot hey that's a good one hey you got to do something you got to do something Chino all right man we got we got we gotch up y'all give it up a [Applause] cig all the way from Los Angeles also Nigeria y'all give it up for [Applause] chadu marry your ass yet Chad mama got a YouTube YouTube channel with all topless videos oh [ __ ] your mama got a YouTube channel with all topless videos you should have said this one [Laughter] that J do girl bringing water like this that's racist that's so racist she the top of Billy does makeup tutorials he keeps trying he getting between the gloves and keep working that's okay we G to go to Io Io what you got ion Clark says boo look like a mascot for a swisser sweet I love you hey you that was a good one bro King William says Kev ask his wife to hold his love hles when he on top I've been quiet for five he from Memphis somebody from Memphis that all right we G to switch the hot seat up man y'all give up a chin coming to the hot seat all the way from Tacoma Washington y'all give it up but ke on [Applause] stage hey Brandon shirt stand for [ __ ] without a hairline brand Brandon got check his T in at TSA the TV and that's been another episode of roast y'all y'all give it up for yourselves make sure you like subscribe and write in the comments who was today's best roster and tune in every Tuesday 400 p.m. eastern time 700 p.m. what's the time shut up I've been your host Brandon Lewis y'all give up for the squad out all right all right hold that hold that we're going to go to Io Io what you have Eric Young JR says Brent look like crazy Lake from d be a menace he does look like crazy it's another wheelchair J D Griffin says Billy look like he hiding from his baby daddy King William says Kev asked his wife to hold his love hles when he on top I've been quiet for five he from Memphis somebody from Memphis that ion Clark says boo look like a mascot for a swisser sweet I love you hey you that was a good one bro what's up y'all welcome to another episode of roast me the show of comedic insults I'm your host Brandon Lewis y'all give it up for the squad woo and also y'all give it up for my lovely teacher assistant all the way from Los Angeles Miss gigg hey now Gigi will be reading the comments that you guys send in via Facebook so make sure you send in that fire now with that being said let's get the show cranked off y'all give it up a dope boy he's built like carry on luggage double back boy sir you have to go under the plane I pay for a ticket under the plane D booy got to wet his clothes to take them off all right all right all right all right all right we going to get the high seat cranked off man come to the high seat man all the way from Paramount California y'all give it up for Mr Tim getto already though they couldn't even use a new one for me we thought y I know what y'all was thinking when y'all saw him let's get down to bus bus Jay when when you get on the bus people be [Laughter] like hey what about the [ __ ] like hey I ain't get up fam I ain't get up I ain't get up fam hey that [ __ ] Kev look like he eat ass from the front J you can't do this hey yo who's your favorite actor Will Smith that [ __ ] that that [ __ ] J that [ __ ] Jay got to put his clothes on laying down hey that [ __ ] that [ __ ] David built like he eating his sleep before we get to Tim Brent and Jay got the same legs good good hey hey Kevin got a sixpack on his forehead hey hey God got a hire a construction company to build Cav's [Laughter] [Applause] Halo yeah yeah I'm here shut up Jeremy ly hey that [ __ ] Tim got kicked out of wedding for throwing cooked [Laughter] rice Willie J Willie hey hey my people use you as a Rick Shaw that's [Applause] crazy Tim built like a 5-year-old Samo Tim's face look like the surface of the Moon is this one Buck for mankind hey Doughboy got to use a mouth guard when he eat [ __ ] out cuz you have bad teeth who's your favorite athlete wil tamberlin Jay can only use rollon deodorant rolling he be reading the Rolling Stones Magazine I don't get it I don't get it hey Jay had a dream he could walk and woke up in a handstand wow that was hey hey that [ __ ] Craig look like simbad with an extra chromosome that [ __ ] on my head that [ __ ] Jay complain about the toilet seat being up oh hey hey I fell in again hey hey Jay is always in the hot seat ah Jay the type of [ __ ] to get drunk and get a DUI in his wheelchair oh that [ __ ] Jay stomach having a meet and greet with his thighs hey let hey Tim could do a cold ass Manny pedicure if he wanted big nose ass [ __ ] bar no dolin head ass got a egg roll on top of his head sweet sour sa you got the worst body but he can't walk oh that was [ __ ] hey when I got here that [ __ ] Tim tried to install a noas kit on my [Laughter] [Applause] chair that's right we going to switch the seat up man y'all give up a 10 y'all give up a t almost fell out that seat coming to the high sea man all the way from East St Louis y'all give up for my dog t here [Applause] [Music] more yeah n like a minion a [ __ ] to here look like a [ __ ] slapped a paintbrush in his face hey that [ __ ] got that gap on the side of his mouth he can throw it with his mouth closed hey when you get up that desk going to stink [Laughter] David look like a fat biker put it if you put your ear on Doughboy stomach you can hear chicken frying to hear your gums look like raw bacon he knows a lot about Kev you look like Mr centipede off James and John Peach [ __ ] your shoes don't get dirty why is he wear why you wearing Jordan wear who who told you about Jordan Jay cheaper that way Jay's stomach get dirty when he shoot [Laughter] dice all right we going to go go to GG G what you got Anthony Stewart says to hear is buo like his grandma's biscuit speak up Antonio D Simmons says if deir was a Transformer he would turn into the Magic School [Applause] Bus that was a good one that a good one all right man we going to switch the hot seat up y'all give it up coming to the hot seat all the way from Pasadena California y'all give it up for crack oh man [Applause] got a train young fighter man I can tell by kev's head that he got big dream dang man Cay got the Hat of a [ __ ] that always want to show you a car trick oh that [ __ ] Craig got a harmonica underneath that hat you got to sit on the battery to work on your [Laughter] car that [ __ ] dopeboy dressed like a Death Jam icon [Laughter] character hey all right man I got to send somebody to the attention man he ain't said nothing since we we started got us send Tim oh what that [ __ ] Craig dressed like a [ __ ] that finish all his sentences with C what do you mean I know what you mean craiger type of [ __ ] to pull a silver dollar from behind a [ __ ] [Applause] [Music] ear that [ __ ] Jay is a musical chair champion a that funny hey that [ __ ] David that [ __ ] David got his outfit from h& M&M's yes hey hey Jay can't do this I don't care I don't care all right hold that thought man come to class man all the way from Washington DC y'all give it up for Brandon bro hey hey Brody had acne in his ultrasound picture oh hey when Jay about to get some [ __ ] he be like this [ __ ] I'm F to [ __ ] this [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] [Music] [ __ ] I can't feel my legs when I'm with [Laughter] Jay oh your belly button smell like earring backs [ __ ] okay we going to switch the hot seat up man y'all give it up for C thanks man coming to the hot seat man all the way from VA y'all give it up for [Music] J ain't never been out the hot seat he can't do he can't do I'm wait wait he can't do I'm a true I'm I'm a true Forma get in my rast mod Jay built like a cupcake with legs Jay Jay built like a Pac-Man ghost hey that [ __ ] built like a fluffy pillow oh down count ass that [ __ ] lost a fight to a monkey on crutches it was Cesar that [ __ ] Jay wheelchair built Ford tough all right man hold that hold that thought we gonna go to gg gg what you got so deshaan foster said K look like he teach Tor [Laughter] classes uh Christian C says Brent look like he fresh off the set of You Got Served we just brought Jay here so we can get free [Laughter] parking Kev like to get on top so his wife can tickle his [Laughter] ass hey Jay got his own a at the movies [ __ ] [ __ ] we going to miss the movie it's okay I got permanent seats he ain't never seen himself in the bathroom [Laughter] mirror he go under the plane with Doughboy that n got to sit with the [Applause] pilot that [ __ ] chair a [ __ ] a you better roll over him y'all [ __ ] is [ __ ] dog [ __ ] put your leg out I'll shake that [ __ ] you look like you sour punch strolls talking the real question real question is how the hell he get that necklace around his big ass head that [ __ ] got a slim [ __ ] outfit on right now he said that cuz you're fat that [ __ ] that [ __ ] leg so fat he had to tuck his jeans in the Jordan that [ __ ] David look like he got pun in the mouth by the Hulk [ __ ] ain't never went down that [ __ ] to here look like a hood stud [ __ ] David look like Diddy Kong if you let himself go [ __ ] you got on a booty call outfit hey that [ __ ] got uh molested on Chris Brown set oh my God all right man I got to send somebody to detention man I'm sorry I had to do it I got to send my dog Brent to detention oh you been quiet get your leson ass out of here dance what about Kevin Durant legs that [ __ ] got on that [ __ ] got on a Sway in the Morning wig that [ __ ] ma a no rabbit you got hey Jay I know your legs don't work but your hands do retwist the front of them dreads [ __ ] your hair look like Motel carpet all right man we going to switch the hot seat up man y'all give it up for J your [ __ ] J that [ __ ] held his on bro like a [ __ ] good [ __ ] coming to the hot seat man all the way from Tacoma Washington y'all give it up for C on stage and then got a pamper on loose boot oh loose boot ass boy hey hold that thought hold that thought man coming in the class man all the way from Los Angeles y'all give it a Chris [Applause] sne these are not Yeezys by the way what's up these are real Yee you bought you buy those at a PM hey why is Chris dressed like a undercover cop he look like he trying to fit in hey who wants to do the drugs broy you started the for of Dick [Laughter] challenge woo oh [ __ ] put on noxa for [Laughter] [Music] that Chris dressed like he trying to fit in though Chris dressed like he trying to fit in like he got jumped into a Facebook group all right man y'all give it up a c we G switch give it up a k good [ __ ] coming to the high seat man all the way from Sacramento California y'all give it up a dough boy hey stinky than a [ __ ] you already swe [ __ ] Doughboy shop it big and big that [ __ ] Doughboy look like Tyler Perry present Drake hey hey crispy eating his kid snacks all right man I got to send somebody to detention I'm sorry I gotta do it man gotta send K to detention got to S you there my dog y'all here built like a Denver omelette you look like you put your lips in a bottle and got them stuck and then dboy teeth look like they waiting in line to get in the [Laughter] front Doughboy got a line of credit at Lan Bryant they found Doughboy bite mark on a baby cow's neck but they never found the body they never recovered the body all right man hold that thought man we going to bring him back to class all the way from pount California y'all give a pretend that I get ter hey if you whisper Doughboy's name at Burger King they'll put an extra Patty on your burger with cheese that walk a cow you have to say with cheese sir we know we know already walk they walk in a family of cows let me get a do boy he keep hamburger buns in his glove compartment and [ __ ] might go down my [ __ ] it might happen all right man we going to switch to high seat man y'all give it for doboy come on coming to the high seat man all the way from Los Angeles California y'all bring it up for Chris sne bad [ __ ] alert yeah Chris with the sneezies on Chris dressed like it's his weekend with the kids yeah Craig like he want to say ski [Laughter] B that [ __ ] like you about to drop the most firest Jaz uh all right man we going to switch the high seat up man y'all give it up a Chris coming to the high seat man all the way from Washington DC y'all give it up for Brandon broad hey I didn't know Elder bar got skin cancer [ __ ] Jay's and Sister Act three back in the wheelchair only way Jaye can tap dance is if you put shoes on his hands coming from a tap dance coach and Craig's a and Craig's a tap dance coach [ __ ] Craig working Moni look like somebody beat you up with sandpaper gloves this [ __ ] Craig this [ __ ] Craig be singing Chim chimy Chim Chim Chim Chim oh Mary poppin it look like Jay Burn Rubber on your face hey Jay your dreads look like battle ropes I just want to do this all right man I got to send somebody you got take your sign with you take your sign you're fat your titties look like great grandmothers now where were these where were these just 5 minutes ago if Doughboy fell to sleep in the sun he wake up a loaf all we gonna go to gg gg what you got uh J Davis said bro look like Deadpool when he take his mask off all right man we go switch the hot seat up man y'all get up for bro this graphic as [ __ ] coming to the hot seat man all the way from Mak Georgia mtown y'all give it up for David [Applause] Luc all right hold that thought man we going to bring her back to class all the way from Los Angeles California let's bring back Brent Taylor I don't dance no more I make money moves that's the sound that that desk is making right now [Applause] A hey your car smell like barbecue sauce if you drop blood in the ocean to hear his mouth will jump out the water that [ __ ] jump in a pool and look like a sting ray jellyfish body ass [ __ ] them big ass shoes on look like you took a Dr do little pill [ __ ] get your ass out of here [ __ ] raggedy beard ass [ __ ] come on [ __ ] your mouth crowded like the DMV [ __ ] get your ass [ __ ] that hat off so we can see that Los Angeles Rams helmet up under that [ __ ] only you look like your lips got stung by a wasp that's what you SW back with all right man we going to switch the hot seat up man y'all give it up for dve coming to the hot seat man all the way from Los Angeles y'all give it up for Bren Taylor he he make money now smoke ain't the smartest man in the world why you dress like a big and little brother program that [ __ ] Brit look like he taking it one day at a time I'm taking it one day at a time one day at a time BR look like he get slapped for talking too much in the car [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up who ask you anything in the first place all right man that's been another episode of roast me y'all give it up for the I've been your host Brandon Lewis make sure you tune in every Tuesday 400 p.m. Pacific right down below and let us know who the best roas to was and we are out

Channel: All Def

Views: 237,576

Keywords: All Def, All def, alldef, all def digital, add, roast me, marathon, roasting

Id: mP41LhZL5fU

Length: 97min 49sec (5869 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 29 2024