Queen Elizabeth II employs an astonishing
1,200 people just to keep the Royal Household running. The positions held by her staffers vary from
cooks to chauffeurs, but as it turns out, quite a few people on the payroll are doing
jobs that seem, well, delightfully bizarre. The Master of the Horse position goes way
back to the year 1340, according to Horse & Hound. While this position would have been of importance
in centuries past, today the job is an honorary one. The outlet explained, "The Master is no longer involved with the
day-to-day running of [the royal stables] but still makes inspections and rides in ceremonial
uniform at state occasions." "I think she also felt that there was a responsibility
on her to maintain the bloodlines that had been established over many generations" In 1999, the queen appointed Lord Sam Vestey,
former chairman of Cheltenham racecourse in Gloucestershire, as the new Master of the
Horse. He is the "senior officer" in charge of the
royal stables as well as the horses and carriages belonging to the queen. The Telegraph reported, "In his role he attends important ceremonial
occasions when the sovereign rides on horseback or travels in horse-drawn carriage, such as
at Trooping the Colour and the state opening of Parliament." Stewart Parvin, who manages the queen's wardrobe,
revealed that there's a staffer tasked with breaking-in the queen's shoes. To do this, the employee dons a pair of socks
and walks around the carpeted areas of Buckingham Palace. Parvin told the Evening Standard in 2017, "The shoes have to be immediately comfortable. The Queen can never say 'I'm uncomfortable,
I can't walk any more.'" "Angela Kelly is sort of the unsung heroine
of British fashion." In her book The Other Side of the Coin, dressmaker
to the queen, Angela Kelly, spilled even more details about the strange practice, writing, "As has been reported a lot in the press,
a [service person] wears in Her Majesty's shoes to ensure that they are comfortable
and that she is always good to go. And yes, I am that [person]…We share the
same shoe size, it makes the most sense this way." Up until the mid-1800s, the head of the royal
family traveled via the river Thames. Back then, 48 staffers dubbed Royal Watermen
were responsible for rowing the Royal Barges in order to transport the sovereign. But during his reign, King Edward VII cut
the number by half. The royal family's office states, "The Sovereign today still retains 24 Royal
Watermen under the command of The Queen's Bargemaster, thereby continuing one of the
most ancient appointments in the Royal Household." "It's quite a big thing, very prestigious,
and a lovely tradition as well" But while this ceremonial team remains on
staff, there isn't exactly a daily need for them. In the rare instance when the royals travel
the Thames, the Royal Watermen are tasked with accompanying the family. Of the more than one thousand people working
for the monarch, one is the Astronomer Royal. This position first came to be in the 17th
century, with the Royal Museums Greenwich explaining, "The first Astronomer Royal...was charged…with
drawing up a map of the heavens with enough accuracy to be reliable for navigation." Although the job led to a great number of
scientific discoveries, the position is mostly ceremonial today. As of 2020, astrophysicist Martin Rees holds
the honorary position and is thus a member of the Royal Household. "My professional interest has been in trying
to understand cosmic phenomena and how our universe has evolved." But despite his credentials, working as the
queen's astronomer doesn't exactly pay well. Rees receives a stipend of just about $129
per year. The queen has her very own composer, dubbed
the Master of The Queen's Music. In the past, this position was a lifelong
commitment, but these days, the royal family officially states that the terms have been
limited to ten years in order to allow more musicians to get involved. BBC News explained, "[There are] no fixed duties involved…The
Master may compose pieces for Royal or State occasions." While this is largely a ceremonial job today,
those who've been appointed are uniquely talented. In 2004, the queen chose renowned British
conductor and composer Sir Peter Maxwell Davies, who formerly headed both the Royal Philharmonic
Orchestra and the BBC Philharmonic. A decade later, the queen appointed the first-ever
female Master of the Queen's Music, Judith Weir, a former opera writer and resident composer
with the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra. Keeper of the Royal Philatelic Collection
has to be one of the oddest titles to hold. Appointed by the queen, the Keeper is entrusted
with maintaining her personal stamp collection. Before being chosen for this position in 2003,
Michael Sefi, was already working for the royals as Deputy Keeper. He explained his job, telling The Times, "The job as Keeper is part-time and the commitment
is two days a week; my commitment to the British Philatelic Trust…is the same. If one wanted to spend three, four, five,
six, or even seven days a week in the Stamp Room, one could, as there is always lots to
do." And it's a big job because the queen's got
a ton of stamps. "Stamps act as a global advert of what's important
to the people of that nation. And in this country, all the biggest royal
events are commemorated." Sefi revealed to the outlet, "The red albums of King George V amount to
around 17,500 album pages. The blue albums of King George VI will also
contain many thousands of album sheets…For a serious, dedicated philatelist it is a tremendous
privilege." Since 1843 the Royal Household has employed
the Piper of the Sovereign. According to Hello! Magazine, this musician plays the bagpipes
at the queen's pleasure. The piper is also tasked with playing the
bagpipes every weekday for 15 minutes beginning at 9 a.m., as a wakeup call for the queen. The Express reported, "The sound of the lone piper has played under
the Queen's bedroom window every weekday since she took up her position on the throne." Although an alarm clock would arguably work
just fine, the queen continues to employ a Piper of the Sovereign. As of 2020, Pipe Major David Rodgers holds
the title, and it's a daunting one. Former Piper Gordon Webster said he had to
memorize hundreds of songs during his tenure, claiming, "The queen didn't like to a certain extent
that you repeated tunes every day. I probably had about seven, 800 tunes under
my belt, and they're all up here." If you spot a swan in England, there's a good
chance it belongs to the queen. Since the 12th century, according to the family's
official site, the Crown has maintained: "[The] right to claim ownership of any unmarked
mute swan swimming in open waters." "All swans in the United Kingdom can belong
to the queen, but she mainly exercises this right on the river Thames." In the past, swans were considered a delicacy
and were served at royal banquets. But today, the royal family no longer eats
the birds. Instead, the queen helps protect them. While the queen could claim any unmarked swans
throughout the country, she focuses on one stretch of the Thames, by way of her swan
task force. "My name's David Barber and I look after the
swans wherever the queen exercises her royal prerogative right." The Swan Marker leads his crew of Swan Uppers
each year on a quote, "iconic five-day journey upriver." Upon spotting the birds, as the procedure
goes… "[They] carefully position their boats around
the swans, lift them [or 'up' them] from the water and check their health." The practice of hiring a food taster to test
for poison is an ancient one. Roman Emperor Claudius famously had a taster
who was later suspected of murder when Claudius died by poisoning. Although it has not been confirmed by the
Secret Service, it's likely that American presidents still abide by the practice. And the same appears to be true for the queen. Although Buckingham Palace has not confirmed
reports of an official food taster, chef Kevin Dundon claims to have observed the custom
firsthand. The chef once prepared a salmon and lamb dinner
for the queen, but said she didn't try the meal until after her taste-tester sampled
it. Dundon told People magazine, "I produced two plates: one for him and one
for her, and he tasted before it was served to her." One does not simply earn the title of Grand
Carver of England. Rather, one is born into it. Even if you're the go-to person at Thanksgiving,
there's no hope of becoming the queen's carver unless you're of noble blood. The Financial Times reported, "In the past, skilled carvers would serve
the monarch slices of meat that were a uniform shape and thickness, and which were still
hot." Today, the Earl of Denbigh holds the sole
position as Grand Carver of England and is responsible for, you guessed it, carving meat
for the royal family. Although this may sound like a strange job,
it wouldn't have been in years past. Chef and accomplished carver Mark Hix told
the outlet that the practice has become a lost art. Just as the title of Grand Carver of England
is passed down through generations, Hix misses a time when the skill was quote, "proudly
passed from father to son." The royal family has been making an effort
to keep up with the times. The queen even posted on Instagram for the
very first time in March 2019. But they still uphold centuries-old traditions. Nevermind cell phones, the queen has roughly
450 analog clocks ticking at Windsor Castle alone. The Express reported that her longtime clockmaker,
Steve Davidson, even developed Repetitive Strain Injury in his wrist after nearly two
decades spent cleaning, repairing, and winding the queen's clocks. Pages of Honour have perhaps one of the simplest
jobs in the Royal Household. Which is appropriate, since they're kids. According to the Daily Mail, Pages are tasked
with carrying the queen's train during royal ceremonies, and… "Hold office for two to three years between
the ages of twelve and fifteen." But not just anyone gets the job, they are
the sons of the royal family's friends. And their duties are tougher than they seem. One of the queen's Page boys even fainted
while she was giving a speech back in 2014. "My government will introduce a bill to bolster
investment in infrastructure and will form planning law to improve economic competitiveness" A source told the outlet, "The poor boy had been standing up for some
time in uncomfortable and claustrophobic clothing…The important thing to remember is that he was
just doing his duty for the Queen." The queen has essentially amassed a museum's
worth of art. And according to the Royal Collection Trust,
it is possibly one of the largest collections anywhere in the world, with around 7,000 oil
paintings and 3,000 miniatures. In 2004, the queen appointed Desmond Shawe-Taylor
as Surveyor of The Queen's Pictures. He told the Trust, "It is a huge honour to be chosen…as Surveyor
of The Queen's Pictures. The Royal Collection has a great tradition
of scholarship and outstanding exhibitions, and it will be an immense privilege to be
part of it." You know you've really made it once you've
added an on-call sculptor to your payroll! In 2008, the queen bestowed artist Alexander
Stoddart with a mouthful of a title: Her Majesty's Sculptor in Ordinary in Scotland. "I'm not the queen's sculpture in ordinary
because the sculpture is the guy that sets about all day in the studio doing nothing
like this." According to BBC News, Stoddart is considered
the leading monumental sculptor throughout Scotland. Still, he was surprised by his appointment. He told the outlet, "I am perfectly thunderstruck to receive it. I should hope to be able to match the expectations
implicit in this appointment in continued association with these wonderful people, to
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And yet, it's all kinda cool.
Not so ridiculous. It's not like monarchs of old. QEII doesn't have a "Groom of the Stool" like Henry VIII did.... yeah, it's someone to wipe your ass for you. And a highly sought after post as it gave you frequent private time with the King to ask influence or ask favours.
I didn't find any of them to be ridiculous, though a few could only be seen as living historical relics. I could use a Grand Carver, myself — and someone to break in my shoes.
If you have more than one clock that needs winding, you can appreciate the convenience of a royal clock winder. When I was in High School, my girlfriend's father would wind the half-dozen or so clocks in the house, starting at 9:30 PM. That was a signal that I was about to overstay my welcome. He was a man of few words, but many windings.