-You have a million things
happening. You have movies,
you have TV things, stand-up things. But you also have now
another radio show... -Yeah.
-...on Sirius XM. -Started today. I´m just doing a few series
a year on Sirius. Just Me --
-It´s called... -"Ricky Gervais is
Deadly Sirius." -[ Laughing ] Yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ] -It´s just perfect for me.
It´s just fun. it´s just pure fun. -And how´s
the stand-up comedy tour? This is, like, crushing it.
-Ah, my favorite. it´s my favorite.
-You´re going around the world? -This is nice.
-Yeah. -I saw you did a show
in Copenhagen. I don´t know if you remember
doing that. -My new favorite place
in the world. -It really is?
-So cool, so liberal. It´s just great.
It´s brilliant. -I saw this photo you posted.
-[ Laughs ] -And I go, "Oh,
´When in Copenhagen.´" This is the photo I saw.
-Yeah. What -- What I do.
[ Laughter ] -Is everything okay?
I mean, is everything... -I know. Yes. I like -- I like
taking bath pics. -Yeah, bathtub pictures.
I have seen these, yeah. -And so it started --
I started doing a sort of relevant bath pic
wherever I was. Like, in Scotland, I have a little ginger hair
and a little kilt on. -[ Laughs ] -And then in Canada,
I have a moose outfit. And then, in Iceland,
I was a Viking. But that was Copenhagen, yeah. -But how do you even get
a costume like this? -Well, I planned it, right?
[ Laughter ] So, me and my girlfriend went to a sort of a fancy
dress shop -- right? -- to get that.
-Yeah. -And I was too embarrassed
to ask, in case he recognized me,
so I sent Jane up. Right?
And she said, "Have you got a mermaid outfit?" And the bloke said,
"is it for you?" Right?
And she went, "Yes." Right?
[ Laughter ] And then she thought, "Oh, no". She went, "Yeah,
not for me exactly, but an adult bigger than me."
Right?" [ Laughter ] And the bloke went, "Okay".
And she was looking, and she goes,
"Yeah, that one is fine. I got the wig picked out." And then he went --
And she bought it, right? And he went to her, "Someone is
going to have a good weekend." [ Laughter ] -And it wasn´t true?
No, no, this happened. This is what came out of it.
Yeah. I want to hear more
about your stand-up tour. Is this your... Jerry Seinfeld told you
to do more stand-up? -Jerry Seinfeld can´t --
he doesn´t understand why me and Chris Rock
do other things when we can do stand-up. He doesn´t understand
why we do movies. And I sort of -- I agree now,
because stand-up was always, like, the second or third
thing I did. I always thought I was a writer
or director or actor. And now, on this tour,
it´s my favorite thing I do. Now it comes first.
I can´t wait to do another tour. So, yeah.
-Really? -Yeah, I think --
-Why do you love it so much? -I don´t know. I think --
I think I´ve reached the... I´ve got old-people´s rights,
so I can say what I want now. [ Laughter ] -Old people´s rights.
-It´s just such a privilege. You know, the people coming out.
I have so much to say. And I -- I don´t --
And also -- And I called it "Humanity,"
because I thought it´s time I let the world know
what an awful species we were. [ Laughter ] -Wait, you don´t like humanity?
-It´s basic. No, it´s basically me
whinging about the world from the most privileged
position imaginable. [ Laughter ]
I think -- I think -- No, but I think people think
I´ve got a perfect life. And I sort of have,
but it doesn´t mean I don´t moan about everything
every day. Everything annoys me. A letter comes through the door,
and I think, "Oh, what is that?" I don´t want to do anything
but play, so everything. When I say "everything,"
I mean "people." I´ve -- I´ve -- Honestly.
[ Laughter ] Everything about people
annoy me. -People annoy you?
-Oh, oh, they´re the worst. [ Laughter ]
They are the worst. -People are the worst?
-They´re absolutely worst. This world would be better
without them, right? [ Laughter ]
So, no, honestly. -But you are a people.
-Yeah, I know. I don´t like me. [ Laughter ]
I don´t like me. -But what about
a restaurant or something? -If I go in a restaurant,
it´s got to be empty. if someone comes in, I go,
"Oh, why are they here?" [ Laughter ]
No, honestly. Even the waiter annoys me
because he´s sniffing. Sniffing really annoys me. But someone next to me
eating loudly. Why does he...
[ Mimics loud eating ] I want to go, "Oh,
what is wrong with you?" [ Laughter ] Has no one ever told you
that jamming, sniffing, this [Snorts].
[ Laughter ] Oh, you pig.
You absolute pig. -What is that?
-I don´t know. People do that.
They chew with their mouth open. Whistling.
Why do people whistle? Why do they whistle?
It´s the most inane thing. Look. [ Whistles ]
Why are you whistling? Even people emptying my bins
at 6:00 in the morning. Like that´s not loud enough. They´ve got to add whistling
to wake me up, right? [ Laughter ]
And in changing rooms. Men whistle in changing rooms. Men walk around whistling
in changing rooms. They´re sort of going,
"I´m not looking," right? They just sort of...
[Whistling] like that. And then they -- Then they
walk around naked -- right? -- for 10 minutes. They´ve had their shower,
and then they walk around naked. Why do men walk around naked?
I know it´s a changing room. But they do their hair,
they´re still naked. [ Laughter ]
They weigh themselves naked. I want to go, "Put some pants on
and then weigh your..." It doesn´t have to be
that accurate. You´re not a boxer.
You know what I mean? [ Laughter ] it´s just like,
put some pants on, weigh yourself,
and take off an ounce. -Yeah.
-But the worse thing is, they just do their hair
in the mirror naked, so I can see their arse
and their awful in the mirror, right?
-Yeah. -They do their hair like that,
and then some of them even do the...
-Oh, no, no! No, that´s not... -Why are they styling that?
That doesn´t need to be styled. It´s fine, right?
[ Laughter ] Everything annoys me.
People annoy me. -Does anything not annoy you? -Dogs.
[ Cheers and applause ] Dogs don´t annoy me.
-[ Chuckles ] -Dogs don´t annoy me.
-Dogs are the only... You love dogs?
-A dog can eat as loud... If a dog is going,
"Mmm, mmm, mmm", I´m going, "Aww, bless it.
He loves his food." He can eat as loud...
[ Laughter ] If a person
was to eat like that, I´d take him to the vet. I´d go, "Something is wrong.
Put it down." [ Laughter ]
"It doesn´t -- Put it down". -You guys, Ricky Gervais. Go see him perform stand-up
on his "Humanity" world tour.
