>> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR THE
BAND, EVERYBODY, LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW BAND RIGHT THERE.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) INDEFINABLE.
TONIGHT, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ALL ARE FEELING IT, THANKS,
EVERYBODY. I DON'T KNOW IF Y'ALL ARE
FEELING IT OVER THERE BUT THERE IS SOMETHING INDEFINABLE ABOUT
TONIGHT'S AUDIENCE THERE IS A CERTAIN ELECTRICITY TONIGHT
THAT-- WE ARE ALWAYS GRATEFUL FOR THE AUDIENCE BUT I AM, I
COULD HOOKUP JUMPER CABLES TO YOU PEOPLE RIGHT NOW.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> FEELS GOOD.
>> Jon: WE GOT COMING UP HERE IN JUST A LITTLE BIT, OSCAR
WINNER EDDIE REDMAYNE, THAT'S ALL.
THE NEW MOVIE, THE GOOD NURSE. AND THEN JUST MY OLD BUDDY
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN OUT HERE TO TALK ABOUT HOUSE.
DRAGON, RISE OF THE DRAGON H SAY DRAGON.
I'M GOING TO ASK HIM ABOUT ELDON RING, ANYBODY PLAY ELDON RING
OUT THERE, YEAH, BABY, HE WROTE THES COULD MOLG IN THE
BACKGROUND FOR THAT WE WILL TALK ABOUT THAT TOO HE SAID.
FOLKS, I AM CONSTANTLY ASTOUNDED BY THE SUPER RICH.
TAKE JEFF BEZOS. HE IS NOW SO RICH-- AND THIS IS
TRUE-- HE BOUGHT A YACHT SO BIG, IT CAME WITH ANOTHER YACHT!
HIS YACHT HAS AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT YACHT!
HE ORDERS HIS YACHTS WITH A SIDE OF YACHT.
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT JUST SINCE THE PANDEMIC STARTED, "U.S.
BILLIONAIRES SAW THEIR WEALTH SURGE BY 62%, OR $1.8 TRILLION."
WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY, THEY COULD LITERALLY BUILD THEMSELVES
A DEATH STAR. WITH, OF COURSE, A LITTLE
SUPPORT DEATH STAR. AND I LIKE TO KEEP YOU UP TO
SPEED ON ALL THE UBER-WEALTHY'S LATEST UBER-DOINGS, IN MY NEW
SEGMENT... "RICH, PLEASE!"
>> SEE YOU AT THE REVOLUTION! >> Stephen: THANKS, CASHY!
BUT AS DIFFERENTLY AS THE RICH LIVE FROM THE REST OF US NOW, IT
SEEMS THAT IN THE FUTURE, THEY WANT TO LIVE EVEN MORE
DIFFERENTLY-ER. FOR INSTANCE, THEY WANT TO LIVE.
EVIDENCE OF THIS WAS REVEALED IN AN ARTICLE IN THE "GUARDIAN" BY
TECH AUTHOR DOUGLAS RUSHKOFF. RUSHKOFF WAS SUMMONED TO A
PRIVATE DESERT COMPOUND WHERE HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO GIVE A
SPEECH, BUT INSTEAD WAS MET BY "FIVE SUPER-WEALTHY GUYS-- YES,
ALL MEN-- FROM THE UPPER ECHELON OF THE TECH INVESTING AND
HEDGE-FUND WORLD." OR, AS THAT GROUP IS TECHNICALLY
CALLED, "A DOUCHE OF BROS." BUT THEY DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR
SOME STUPID SPEECH. INSTEAD, THEY IMMEDIATELY
STARTED GRILLING RUSHKOFF ON HOW TO PREPARE FOR "SOCIAL UNREST, A
NUCLEAR EXPLOSION, A SOLAR STORM, OR AN UNSTOPPABLE VIRUS,"
ASKING, "HOW LONG SHOULD ONE PLAN TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE WITH
NO OUTSIDE HELP? AND SHOULD A SHELTER HAVE ITS
OWN AIR SUPPLY?" I CAN ANSWER THAT ONE!
NO. YOU WILL NOT NEED AIR OR WATER.
JUST GO ON DOWN THERE AND WELD THE DOOR SHUT.
WE'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN IT'S SAFE TO COME OUT.
HERE'S THE DEAL. APPARENTLY, RICH PEOPLE ARE
SEEING THE GROWING SOCIAL UNREST THAT THEY'RE HELPING CREATE,
TAKING A HARD LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASKING, "HOW CAN I IGNORE
ALL THAT AND KEEP MY STUFF?" "THE C.E.O. OF A BROKERAGE HOUSE
EXPLAINED THAT HE HAD NEARLY COMPLETED BUILDING HIS OWN
UNDERGROUND BUNKER SYSTEM," AND ALREADY "SECURED A DOZEN NAVY
SEALS TO MAKE THEIR WAY TO HIS COMPOUND, IF HE GAVE THEM THE
RIGHT CUE." THAT CUE?
(BIRD CALL) "MONEEEEY!
MONEEEEY! CUH-CASH!
CUH-CASH!" ONE BILLIONAIRE STILL HAD
CONCERNS, AND ASKED, "HOW DO I MAINTAIN AUTHORITY
OVER MY SECURITY FORCE AFTER 'THE EVENT'?"
"THE EVENT?" NOT SURE IF HE'S DESCRIBING
ARMAGEDDON OR "TOYOTATHON." WE ALL KNOW MAINTAINING
AUTHORITY OVER YOUR MERCENARY STRIKE FORCE IS TRICKY, AND THE
BILLIONAIRE WORRIED, "HOW WOULD HE PAY THE GUARDS ONCE EVEN HIS
CRYPTO WAS WORTHLESS?" SO...
NOW? ADDING, "AND WHAT WOULD STOP THE
GUARDS FROM EVENTUALLY CHOOSING THEIR OWN LEADER?"
OH, DON'T WORRY. ONCE ALL YOUR MONEY'S GONE, I'M
SURE YOUR ARMED GOONS WILL HONOR JUST AS HIGH A MORAL CODE AS YOU
HEDGE FUND MANAGERS DO. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
BUT THEY DO HAVE A PLAN. "THE BILLIONAIRES CONSIDERED
USING SPECIAL COMBINATION LOCKS ON THE FOOD SUPPLY THAT ONLY
THEY KNEW." IT'S FOOLPROOF!
UNLESS... I MEAN, THERE'S NO WAY FOR
EX-NAVY SEALS TO GET INFORMATION OUT OF YOU.
YOU'RE NOT PLANNING ON BRINGING YOUR KNEECAPS TO THE BUNKER,
RIGHT? NOT TO WORRY, THE BILLIONAIRES
SWER IN'S SMART, OKAY, THEY DIDN'T GET THAT MONEY BY BEING
DISUM. THEY THOUGHT THIS THROUGH.
ONE RICHIE RICH HAD THE IDEA TO "MAKE GUARDS WEAR DISCIPLINARY
COLLARS OF SOME KIND IN RETURN FOR THEIR SURVIVAL."
THAT IS SURE TO INSPIRE LOYALTY. "DO WHAT I SAY, OR YOUR SKULL
GOES JIFFY POP. IF YOU SURVIVE TILL FRIDAY,
WE'LL HAVE A PIZZA PARTY. FRIENDSIES?"
IF MAKING THEIR NECKS RIDE THE LIGHTNING WON'T WIN OVER THEIR
SERVANTS, THE BILLIONAIRES ARE CONSIDERING "BUILDING ROBOTS TO
SERVE AS GUARDS AND WORKERS- IF IF
THAT TECHNOLOGY COULD BE DEVELOPED 'IN TIME'."
OF COURSE! WHO EVER HEARD OF A ROBOT
UPRISING? THEY JUST WANT TO MAKE US HAPPY.
WE ALL REMEMBER THAT HEARTWARMING SCHWARZENEGGER
MOVIE. >> I'LL BE BACK... WITH YOUR
CHEESE PLATE. >> Stephen: AND I'LL BE RIGHT
Oh now he’s speaking out tf
"we let you know when it's safe to come out" ... to neverworld
wow, so funny