r/FatPeopleStories - Entitled Lady SQUISHES me for 14 HOURS...

[Music] due to overwhelming requests for a sequel today on daily dose of Reddit I your host Zach will be reading from our slash fat people stories and before y'all flippity doo-dah start flippity do dying out about the fact that this might be fat shaming it isn't at least for the most part this is about people who are fat whose entitlement stems from them being fat or not necessarily from being fat but fatness is involved in their entitlement alright this story's called moon claims to be able to fit into an airline seat both me and flight attendants say no I get squished on a 14-hour flight I get up close and rather to personal with a ham and got to know them very well after 14 hours of pressurized metal tube in the sky much to my dismay yep flying I love fly probably because I'm just a huge engineering nerd but one of my favorite things to do is plane watch especially at larger airports I love being on planes because it's the one time I can put in headphones and most people won't bother me at all however this may be one of my worst experiences in flying to date even worse than the time Delta lost all our luggage and sent it to London anywho let's meet our cast here's the the plane a beautiful Air Canada 787 900 or 789 3 by 3 by 3 seating ABCDE GH JK from window to window and standard Y class configuration lovely body lines swept wings large electrically dimming windows and subtle mood lighting the spreader of chemtrails pinnacle of Boeing's modern engineering team Jack of the skies making a Royal Flush of the Airbus 380 King the Boeing 747 Queen and the Airbus 350 ace as well as the Boeing 737 max which is the Joker and doesn't serve a purpose a true 5 out of 7 perfect score that's a deep cut and there's me Oh peach and 15 male love flying cars and aisle seats blooded chinese-american ridiculously incompetent at sleeping on public transportation the sad victim of this story five foot six 150 pounds BMI somewhere in the high twenty fours former ham I was a hundred sixty-five a year ago and three inches shorter but on a diet CD which is as far as I'm concerned usually the best seats on any three by three aircraft especially the 789 what a nerd Canadian bacon age unknown female loves eating drinking and overall carbohydrate intake Canadian smells like Newports and stale grease future is female shirt and purple hair seat II much to the dismay of myself in the lovely lady in CG she was also 15 and kind of hot but that's not the point caused much pain and suffering during 14 hours 5 foot 2 weight unknown BMI higher than Snoop Dogg CG 15 female American lives in Chicago met her while in line at the back of the plane waiting for the restroom to open up rather good-looking my family my lovely parents in my six-year-old brother trained medical professionals and a useless child seats a B and C flight attendant the mediator also the purveyor of various snacks and drinks perpetually neutral but incredibly helpful always asking if we would like drinks thankfully anyways let's begin our story shall we Friday morning Toronto Pearson International Airport YYZ gate F 78 the plane is preflighting and fueling up for a long run to Shanghai Pudong PVG I'm consuming overpriced Airport snacks and watching the Grand Tour good show having just taken an early morning flight from Cleveland first time in Canada and I must say I am impressed much maple syrup is observed as well as one particular Canadian bacon boarding group is called fortunately we get priority boarding because brother is small boy in a Mazda Miata hoping for my seatmate to be decent there's been an earthquake everyone locate the exit nearest to them while making note it may be Baja wait no it's just Canadian bacon lumbering down the left-hand aisle staring at her ticket looking for her seat still praying it's not seat II in my row please please please I get up slightly annoyed that Jeremy Clarkson was being interrupted but alas it is the reality of public transportation Canadian bacon stores her luggage in the overhead bin entrusting the plane to keep it safe for her she grabs a tacky faux leather purse thing and slides her way well that's awkward her ass cheeks are brushing up against my TV screen no matter I always have alcohol pads in my backpack my father stares at me but wildered I shoot a worried glance in silently mouths Jeff would sink at I'd Isla which translates to this won't work she's too big all while desperately hoping she would at least fit within the 18 inches of seat width provided by the caretakers of the plane evidently not I sit back down resume to Jeremy Clarkson making fun of James May being slow and sit down on a pillow yes there is a pillow but next to it that's not a pillow no much more awkward it's Canadian Bacon's left-hand love handle although at this point it may be an entire door as far as my seat space is concerned 18 inches of the plane that were allocated to me gone reduced to atoms now slightly less than that it's okay my waist has gotten smaller I can do this I can do this I can do this I can't I get out and sit down halfway before starting to close her love doors that were opening onto my seat sorry I say appropriating Canadian culture making up some BS about dropping something and needing to find my seat belt cg walks down the right-hand aisle and we make eye contact the sort of way to sad puppies in a dire situation pity each other as she Stowe's her luggage and sits down much in the same way I had earlier Canadian bacon starts to notice the situation as her doors are now closed and CG and I are as reasonably comfortable as we can be with this lady the size of the province of Alberta in between us hey guys can you not infringe on my space Canadian bacon shoots dirty looks at me and CG we silently exchange eye roles as only edgy American teenagers can name a one tiba which translates to you don't have any issues yeah asks my mother she knows the answer but I refused to say it we both know this is a long 14 hours flight attendant is making preflight checks on us noticing Canadian bacon having trouble with her seatbelt says something in French probably along the lines of would you like another seat belt extender but in a show of stubbornness that would remain throughout the flight a quick mom is given and what's can only be described as a mix between Quebec law French and the effort filled grunt of an orc very well then the plane is backing out of the gates Canadian Bacon's still struggling with her seat belt flight attendant is back in quietly asks Canadian bacon if she would like to move to the empty row of seats in the back to fit better and she immediately causes a small scene like your fat shaming me I can fit I swear now see G and I are all caught up in this and honestly I would not have minded if Canadian bacon was moved more legroom no weird fat humps pushing in and the ability to start a conversation but alas that did not happen in the seat belt was wrestled on with great effort as we take off the plane hits turbulence and knots an insignificant portion of Canadian Bacon's but I mean shoulder lands on me once again disturbing my show can a man not watch a car show and expect not to be interrupted by sweaty meat landing on his body the plane banks the other direction and gravity does its work of unhand me but seat G is not so lucky Canadian bacon perks up sorry a lots of top Yulin set yes it was a very long flight indeed our for approximately two hours after the first meal in which Canadian bacon requested triple portion once everyone had gotten one she opens her purse thing whatever and produces a family size bag of chips I'm here trying to watch James May do exactly the speed limits and all of a sudden a dusting of Cool Ranch Doritos shards fall onto me in the span of 20 minutes Canadian bacon has demolished most of this poor bag of Doritos while watching some sappy romance movie on the TV of course now Air Canada leaves bags of extra snacks and stuff in the back near the bathrooms and you can just grab them if you want Canadian bacon knows this evidently and so in the middle of watching Jeremy Clarkson ramble on about a Land Rover she taps a greasy ham fist on me let me out she says as if I had a choice cg is watching some sort of movie and when Canadian bacon gets up her cheek brushes against the leftmost third of her screen as well as most of my alcohol pad time the 20 minutes that Canadian bacon was in the bathroom and presumably trying to get out or absolute bliss I almost forgot through half an episode of Grand Tour before choosing begger came lumbering back it was at this point that the planes undercarriage which had been weakened by years of Canadian snow and people walking about caved in swallowing the bacon and spewing her into the Canadian Tundra almost as if nature was saying pigs can't fly I shall reclaim you by the arcane law of maple syrup and poutine or so I wish it was at this point that sleep overtook me and unfortunately that too was ruined by Canadian bacon tapping me on the shoulder once again to go use the bathroom I've become fed up at this point and begin to stroll around the plane my legs are hurting too I notice seat G and we strike up conversation complaining about the bacon the rest of the ten hours progressed rather similarly there was much complaining on the parts of myself in C gee about the amount of Dorito dust that had settled in our row and Canadian bacon continued to eat literally why don't people buy two seats if they are wider than 18 inches fin okay first off redditor Opie guy person you are a good writer that was an absolute joy to read it was really funny now I wonder are they still 15 because this was really well written for a 15 year old and trust me you can tell when it's written by a 15 year old it's usually very obvious but this has given me some like college writer vibes this guy is good funny also if you all have Amazon Prime Grand Tour is a really good show I'm just saying it's really fun and I know what you're thinking yeah that's a car show I don't like cars and guess what I'm not a car dude either I like the show though cuz it's funny and they do a lot of cool stuff as well as drive really cool cars and it's gotten me interested in cars to the point where I'm like considering doing things to my e-class to make it look cooler but anyways that was a really good story very creative word usage and stuff for instance calling her Canadian bacon instead of ham because guess what Canadian bacon is ham it's genius also bro I'm hoping that seat G sees this and then she hits you up and she's like yo that's it alright this story's called Vega versus the future ham planet there's me Vega 22 female at the time a hundred fifteen pounds soaking wet that's inappropriate future ham planet 19 female at the time 200 pounds completely dry four foot eleven farmer a friend 22 female at the time that is all that is really relevant disclaimer it has been years since this happened and I am sticking to reality as best my memory remembers the conversations back story at the time that I came across the privilege of living with future ham planet I just broken up with an ex and needed him out of the two-bedroom apartment ASAP due to his increasingly creepy behavior the second I felt the need to go get a door stopper to lock my bedroom door with when I slept I he had to go and fast fortunately he was out within three days of me telling him to go unfortunately being a poor college kid I needed a roommate to help with the rents in the bills inserts a desperate attempt to quickly secure a new roommate future hams introduction after some prodding around future friend told me her sister also needed a new place to live ASAP yeah I thought a new roommate who is a relative of a person I am good friends with with a family to support her so there were no worries on whether her side rent would be paid or not we agreed to set up a time to meet and for me to show her the apartment after learning a little more future Hamm told me she had a really bad go with her former living situation after just two months she claimed that her old roommate was terrible she was nasty to future Hamm and allegedly stole her food I took pity on her ignoring the obvious red flag that that was the third living situation that future ham had been in within six months I cannot lie and say I was willing to let some red flags fly as the rent was coming up and I did not have the funds to cover all of it alone after all the lease only had nine months left I could put up with about anything for nine months before future ham moved in her mother and future ham came to look at my apartment I should have immediately kicked them out and rejected the applicant when the mother started asking me do you do drugs do you bring many Minova do you have loud sex on the weekends while future ham said literally nothing to me the entire time and just glared in my direction she did not even introduce herself former friend tried to explain future ham strange behavior by saying she was nervous and socially awkward I decided to brush off the strange interaction and proceeded to let her move in future ham moves in a few days later future ham moves into the apartment and by move in I mean her mother father and former friend moved everything while future ham sat on my couch playing on her phone she did not even help hang up clothes or arrange her belongings once the furniture was in she had still not addressed me her things included most of what would be appropriate in a five-year-old girl's room little butterfly bedspread for her twin mattress light pink furniture a teddy bear her clothing solely consisted of t-shirts and worn cotton leggings they brought no kitchenware no cleaning supplies and no food for future ham as soon as they leave future ham goes into her room and shuts the door she remains there for four days or so I think four days later as the days pass I notice food go missing but do not feel like having my first interaction with my new roommates being me accusing her of stealing my food her dishes pile up in the sink again I want to start off on a good foot with a strange little girl so I do them without making a fuss future ham comes out and it dresses me for the first time ever while I was cooking in the kitchen she smiles and I relax thank God I think maybe she was nervous and is actually a nice girl how are you so skinny like you make me feel so weird I am so fat what I'm not sure I mean I am so fat and ugly and you are so skinny what do you eat feeling extremely uncomfortable at the sudden weird statements and totally unsure of how to respond politely Oh tonight I'm making do not remember explains in vague detail what it is you are so lucky you have time to cook I am so busy with school I do not have time in fact I hardly ever eat I have no idea why you are skinnier than me my thyroid just makes it impossible to lose weight it's not fair future ham looks at me her eyes dripping with the hope that I will reaffirm her fat logic I make some sort of sympathetic face but turn around to resume my cooking future ham then launches into a long-winded very detailed description of numerous health problems she faces and how it makes it impossible to lose weight I finish cooking while letting future ham hum away at her bizarrely personal Dory's in the background making enough oh and uh huh and oh I'm sorry that sucks as not to be rude future ham do you want any whatever I just made no thank you I'm not eating this week I have anorexia and sometimes bulimia but only if I'm really bad she looks up at me sheepishly I stare at her for a second to make sure I heard that correctly this girl is almost as wide as she is short there is no way she is not consuming at least 3,000 calories a day oh okay well if you change your mind there will be leftovers feel free to help yourself I retreat to my room to digest whatever the hell just happened and eat in peace after all this was my legit first conversation with future ham I texted former friend to ask her what the hell happened she replies saying her sister's full of crap and dust up for attention the next morning all the leftovers are gone I do not see future ham for another several days food continues to disappear although she did go shopping so at least some of it was her own over the course of the next several months I realized that this is not even close to the weirdest interaction I have with future ham and each interaction is weirder than the next or last because if you say it like that then it progressively gets less weird which is a good thing this type of stuff is why I never want to have a roommate because all they do is lie and steal and then be nasty like I've heard so many horror stories of bad roommates that oh my god however if you're cool funny and like you know we can we can hang out and you've got cash for your part of the rent then like yeah you'd be cool but how rare is that also do not just tell people you just met all the bad things in your life and how bad your life is and how fat you are and how much you hated and ah you're making people uncomfortable and former friend you're a big ol ho for making your friend put up with your sister and her many many issues without at least some warning for all right this story's called my doctor was surprised I'm not obese I've struggled with my weight for around eight years I always worked out and ate normal not super healthy not super unhealthy but for the amount I work out four to six hours a week I'm not skinny I'm quite fit and I have a lot of muscle in the Marilyn Monroe body to go with it flat tummy hips and breasts it's not a bad body by far but for the amount of work I put into it it wasn't that great either I never wanted to complain because I really disliked people that say they can't lose weight because of insert random excuse last week my doctor found out that my thyroid malfunctions it causes weight gain and inability to lose weight if you don't put work into it my doctor looked at my charts and was incredibly surprised I wasn't obese he looked at me and said it must have been hard to be able to maintain a normal body size for me he was extremely impressed that I managed to keep my weight in a normal range this entire time so for all the people out there that say they can't lose weight because of an illness shut up it's doable get your medication workouts eat normal and you're gonna be okay don't use your body as an excuse to be miserable really is not well this is right and wrong and I'm no medical professional I'm no dietician I'm no nutritionist in case you didn't know having an unhealthy lifestyle surprisingly not really feeds having an unhealthy lifestyle Mark Twain once said quitting cigarettes is really easy I've done it thousands of times or something like that same principle goes with you know developing a healthy lifestyle it's really easy to start with one however it's not easy to maintain you're eventually gonna want to slip back into the comfort of cupcakes and cookies and teacher donuts but that does not mean you give up Opie here is right with enough hard work pretty much anything is possible including being healthy okay if you're starting to see yourself slip look at a picture of yourself from back when you were hot and sexy okay look at your collarbone your angular face just backed when you were sexy master of athleticism or just less fat don't forget to Like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an episode [Music]

Channel: Daily Dose Of Reddit

Views: 31,242

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit funny, daily dose of reddit, daily dose of internet, r/FatPeopleStories, Entitled fatty SQUISHES me for 14 HOURS..., entitled, fatty, squishes, me, for, 14, hours

Id: 16X6ICyRYSk

Length: 22min 19sec (1339 seconds)

Published: Tue May 12 2020