Return Of The Gingerdead Man

gentle listener and welcome to distractable this episode it's all hail Ohio and the great us OFA as wield Wade wops out another derisive Deathmatch to barle booming Bob loves leprechauns levitating pre lever's catalonian poop provision and rockart fairies and Millennial Mark proves that Jack could casually Crush Crono from the perfect Skyline pie to the Beast of day bunny yeah yes it's time for Return of the ginger dead man now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show hey everyone welcome back to another episode of distractable I'm today's host the hostess with the mostest as no one has ever said about me and I'm joined as always by my co-hostess with the mostest this is Mark and Bob hello hello hi do we all have the most is that possible yeah that's why we each get the host not the a boast is this a rhyming thing I'm not good at Rhymes and I don't know why no but this also isn't a roast but first a toast you know this podcast covers the country Coast to Coast ah po to Bob um oh man Mark you're toast oh boy pull me out of the oven I'm a roast that is a terrible attempt gross yeah it is but I'll give you some amount of points for effort but no rhyming has nothing to do with this episode I was just compost Wow way to bring it home we're in Germany having a drink roast that's that's a you say cheers in Germany who's in charge of this everyone buckle down it's time for small talk oh okay I had um wanton soup for lunch and it was different from this other place where I used to get wanton soup but also it was like just as good and I'm having mixed feelings about the soup situation you don't know which one you like better well yeah like have you ever had that where you have you get the same dish from different places or like you make it at home and also you get it from a restaurant and it's like they're very different they're not at all the same food but also you like both of them I feel like I should like one better than the other but like I don't know I feel conflicted I don't know where I land on that they're very good they're both good soup I have that with chicken wings I like chicken wings from different places and my favorite place as you know is now gone but it's gone forever but there's times where I'm like I want wings but I don't want this I want this one's Wing like it's like pizza you know sometimes you want different pizza from different places it's like that sometimes you just crave a different version of the same thing well that's where I'm at I'm going ass Su I literally have the spoon I ate it with sitting on my desk and every time I glance at the spoon in my head I'm like H but was that better so that's what's that's where I mentally that's where I am right now points for won what's up Mark I've got something incredible well I didn't do it but I'm telling you the story Amy has cracked the code on Skyline Chili I don't know what that means I don't either she made a pop from scratch or with the can or she made that gravy herself from it's not gravy it's gou how close was it it was identical okay text me the recipe and I'll give you all the points in fact you just win all right cool all right we'll see you guys next week no you have to you didn't do it yet I also have to I I don't know it but I ate it what's name you want for Christmas give me a list also can I borrow your card but no so what one how identical like good enough where you were like I don't if I could tell the difference or like literally like this is exactly the recipe this is exactly what I'm the flavor i' get well it's been a few years obviously since I've lived in Cincinnati but I grew up with it not early childhood but I've eaten it a lot I know the difference I could tell the difference in a blind test between Skyline and gold star I bet um so that's like how well I know it and we can buy cans of it out here because Ralph's is owned by Kroger there's so many mega corporations that are based in Cincinnati yes there are there are that's true it's it's weird like why I I know that Ohio is a sleeper state in that it's like the eighth most populous state and also like at the top of a lot of very strange odd records um and also Cincinnati seems to be the it's like a medium population city and yet it's got so many headquarters of it's very strange if you really think about it Ohio something's going on in Ohio anyway everything is Ohio yeah pretty much um Ohio's like that fungus Network that grows into the soil and spreads out everything's just a clone of the same plant the field of cement corn in Columbus is actually a broadcasting array that's controlling the minds of every non Ohio and and every that's why everyone makes fun of Ohio we do that so that we're viewed as less of a threat and you stay away like I have I removed my chip uh what was the point I was making oh yeah it I we have it you know in cans and we've heated it up before and that tastes like spot on I've had it when I come back home it's always better in the restaurant this tasted exactly like the only difference that I would say is that the cheese was grated uh not as fine cuz you know they they do the really it's hard to recreate that it cheese even with a small grater it's like so long still I don't know they like extrude it or something but it's um well no they probably they shredded in the restaurant I think right I don't know if it's shredded in restaurant but it seems like it is I've never seen it happen they've got like the the two ton brick of cheese and some people in the background just with like lemon zesters I've never seen them do that but they do have like one secret back room cuz they Skyline is one of those places where you can watch them prepare your meal but they still have a back room and who knows what happens back there and every time the door swings open you just get a little you get hear a little echo of like o but that's it you never you don't ever see them and they don't do the song and dance out where the I did see a purple pant leg Yeah no you just get like a w you see like a little you know silhouette of a of a orange person run by the door and you're like huh weird no I must be seeing stuff yeah uh you know you could just get a job and you could find out they're probably Hing I've thought about it it's just I got I got I don't want to spoil it but that back room in Skyline is where all the 16-year-old girls who work at every Skyline restaurant in Cincinnati go to go on their phone where the manager can't see them that's what that room is for it's a cell phone parking lot for employees it's for teenagers all on their phone just like C click C click selfie go make some more hot dogs oh this is a total like side tangent because I bet on Tik Tok you know as I do cuz I just add uh but what I've noticed a trend recently gen Z some people in gen Z and I'm not generalizing because I oh generalize baby do it no what what is happening is like a generalization against Millennials and I get it I've seen that yeah are we Millennials oh yeah well how [ __ ] dare they what the [ __ ] you stupid all of you it's it started out as like Millennial cringe I'm like yeah I remember that that [ __ ] stupid and and I'm me so obviously uh but come back I'm gone now my light doesn't work my camera is goes out of focus every once a while I'm just creating random timers for things to occur for how much money you you've spent on cameras and light technology you have you have got to have the most finicky lights in camera in I I don't this isn't the good light that's why it's in here oh I see this isn't the good lens that's why it's in here this lens was 500 which is not cheap but you were generalizing I also keep all of my best stuff in boxes so the latest thing is that and probably rightly so uh there's some criticisms of we are responsible for all of us as collectively are responsible for Jen Alpha coming out the way they are which I think is such a fun what is that Jen that's that I believe it's well it's hard to Define cuz it's like the the actual years are really loose like it's it's nebulous no there's no consensus of when you know Millennials start and Gen X ends okay so gen Alpha sometime after 1980 it's like 2010 and up or not that I don't know anyway uh so what what it is is just like the reason it's such an interesting double insult because it's like it's a slap at Millennials which fair enough but then it swings back around and hits jet Alpha like it's a full 360 slap cuz it's like you're responsible for why they're so [ __ ] how dare you you idiot for making them an idiot and it's just like I'm not faulting the observation but it's like the these things are are it it is so sweeping like it's so sweeping it's almost like every generation thinks that their generation is the superior one mhm mhm and we all know Millennials are the superior ones generational definitions are this weird way to define and categorize people so that you you know who to be against in the world exactly and it's almost like that's an easily weaponized uh feature and especially in an environment where the the higher ups in any organization understand that gen Z is not really identifying with uh the kind of ideologies they want to and the easiest way to break up common ideologies is to make enemies of people and get people digging at those that they would actually agree with which is a very common propaganda tactic M anyway that's not the point I'm trying to make I just thought it was Skyline chil I just thought it was fascinating the the sweeping like and again this is just like two or three Tik toks I've seen uh most of them are just like Millennials are cringe uh and also their self workers they like all the memes we like in gen Z are going to be cringe in 10 years too and we're prepared for that and that's like yeah that's good it it all comes full C and then there are like a couple I've seen lately that like you [ __ ] Millennials get off my lo you know that level of I love when teenagers are like get off my lawn the Boomers own all the property and the Millennials have moved into all the boxes there are no boxes left for the zuers to occupy where are we supposed to live and and to be like I want to again I'm just saying straight up like I got no problem with Gen Z I think that there is a concern because like have you seen reading rates in kids and like teachers reporting like and I don't think that this is necessarily one cause but it's like yeah there's actually a problem literacy rates are going down and I thought they would be going up with phones and and like people seeing texts and and that kind of communication being more prevalent and I thought people needed subtitles more on video content now because like they needed to read and I'm like wa where's this coming from so yeah there are definitely problems but I'm not an expert to answer them and I don't think any one blame lies in any one group of people we taught your kids how to not read it's our fault your whose kids yours no it's the Millennials kids oh we have kids yeah technically we collectively do yeah Bob we ruined James oh yeah no he never stood a chance wasn't that your biggest fear wasn't that the thing you were super afraid of of ruining me or Wade that baby no you Bob yeah no it's it's an ongoing fear it's like a constant yeah it's an issue I'm dealing with yes it's weird because I've got nieces that are like six and three and they read and do things at like when they were like four or five my second youngest niece that I couldn't do until like second grade she's so Advanced with like reading and stuff like she was counting to 100 and stuff and it's like going over the ABCs and one I remember learning a puzzle like before kindergarten like learn the ABCs and she was like way more Adept at all that using cell phones like being able to go do things like I feel like she's one of the smartest people I've ever seen and I I imagine a lot of kids have to know that kind of stuff going in so that's not just a sweeping problem it's very it's much more nuanced maybe parenting has something to do with it I don't know I hate to call that out no no okay it's the teachers and their ideologies okay it's not the parents responsibility to raise their kids it's the teachers are doing this to them okay and also TV probably or video no video games it's video games there you go that does rot your brains I've heard I saw somebody complaining that uh I don't want to call them out specifically but we went to school with about the fact that their kid had homework and they were like I don't remember having homework and I was like what did we go to the we graduated the same class I didn't do homework but I knew I wasn't doing it oh yeah I I knew exactly all the homework I never did somehow this person rewrote their brain to believe that homework was a new thing they're like my kid comes home from school and has to do more schoolwork what's the point of school and I was like the same as it was 30 years ago wait was that a contextualization of a debate that does occur that too much homework exists because that is a no no this was specifically they did not remember their being homework when they were in school well that's just not how it was whether or not there should be homework is a different conversation but like their thought was that it didn't exist and now teachers are getting lazy and just making it up that's neither here nor there I do want to get into the Crux of this episode so unless you guys have any more final points you want to make I can jump in I was thinking of getting like a swinging axe on a pendulum to randomly just like Shing down in the background because if I've got all these random events that occur I'm just thinking like adding to him if an episode goes too long you get cut in half yeah some no just for fun you know I what a confetti cannon that just goes off whenever a certain someone tweets what about something like that going off whenever a new picture of the moon comes up every time that man every time that man posts another picture it' just be going up constantly he really wanted to send you a picture of the moon and you should have accepted I know he messaged multiple times just like he always does with everything he's very thorough he's very thorough in his Imaging of the Moon he's very thorough in his messaging every person on the planet gets messages every day from this man about the moon that's the thing about the internet when you post anything you're shouting to everyone well then everyone is getting real tired of hearing about our podcast cuz I mention it twice a week I think if there's people standing around waiting for you to say something it doesn't count as harassing them I disagree with algorithmic based content that gets shoved to you it inherently is a shout they're voluntarily holding receivers to their ears while we shouting to the transg givers what are they call yes transg givers the trans givers in the microphone uhhuh all right today's topic everyone do you guys remember our Halloween episode where I pinned all the different Halloween like Monsters and villains against each other and we spawned to compete you mean when we discussed the beauty and majesty and Nuance that is the ginger dead man and his his deriven I have a wheel of Christmas and other holiday things Ginger dead man Ginger dead man made the wheel dead man and we have a marks and Bob's choice I choose Ginger dead man but we're going to take the holiday it's a spin you spin it yeah but when it lands on me that's what I choose maybe I'll choose something else you you chose a rubber Mark and Bob chose the ginger dead man is the great what is is this like mascots cuz I don't know if the Great Pumpkin so I was trying to come up with just like Christmas or like you know Thanksgiving November December theme things I couldn't come up with enough of them wild turkeys this was the best I could do okay okay we're going to take the first two that come up and debate on who would win in a fight as we did with our Halloween special a fight like just to the death same as we did with like Jason and ginger dead man or whoever it was yeah same thing and you guys can argue that one of them is very whatever Ginger dead man was that was so good to you abrasive or whatever it was you guys had a word that you kept using derisive our first contestant it better not be Ginger dead man because that would be the entire episode I have fear Uncle Sam do one of us get assigned to this nope nope this is just a debate between you two and you guys can agree disagree whatever you feel okay all right Uncle Sam that's going to be hard to beat we're just trying to get to the truth it doesn't matter whose side who's on so Uncle Sam versus Mark's Choice the ginger dead man the ginger dead man I should have removed uh Uncle Sam I forgot to hide that but oh well so Mark's Choice it was the ginger dead man who can I guess also take on the ginger dead man you're supposed to pick someone who's not on the list doesn't say that I don't see any rules it says that he's supposed to choose someone yeah who wins uncle Sam or the ginger dead man well is this is this just like generic Uncle Sam in the wild or is this like DC Universe Uncle Sam this is Up For Debate what is DC Universe Uncle Sam uh Uncle Sam is a character who led the superhero group the Freedom Fighters against the Axis powers in World War II I don't know enough DC basically he's a DC Superhero but I don't think he has any superpowers you can take any and all his powers well his his main power is American idealism but he also has superhuman reflexes strength stamina invulnerability and size alteration invulnerability but Uncle Sam's powers are based on the strength of the American Consciousness so if the will of the American people is crushed Uncle Sam loses strength and stamina how's how's the American Spirit can I ask Chad GB I don't want to get into the complexities of that right now but uh I don't know if we should go with DC Uncle Sam I think we should go he he represents like a like the ideals of like a lot of people theoretically and like a very powerful nation and his posters get everyone else to fight for him I know that the ginger dead man is just incomparably derisive inescapably punishingly derisive but then again literally Uncle Sam represents America probably either has experienced a lot of derision and also dos out R of comments left and right so I don't know if The Ginger Man Ginger dead man could wait is the ginger dead man an American citizen I don't know I mean Gary buus is an American citizen so probably so Uncle Sam would feed off of the ginger Dead Man's power yeah the the ginger Dead Man story was based on an American convict whose ashes got baked into the ginger into the cookie right so I believe the ginger dead man would technically be an American Uncle Sam has the strength of the ginger dead man on his side side yes I feel like this is I feel like this is a tough I feel like this is a tough fight for ginger dead man if if Uncle Sam loses and dies does that mean America dies I mean kind of that means the spirit of America is dead America number one baby USA Ginger dead man is going to get killed in a drone strike God damn all right Uncle s wow I was also going to say ginger dead man one of his main weapons aside from divisiveness is just a gun I don't think Uncle Sam is going to be too bothered I I feel like he's very familiar with guns he's got his own gun show take my choice off leave Ginger dead man who's still on there on sure he he always comes back I think that's his slogan I always come back I think you're right I think that was a slogan of his uh and by the way I have found my Champion for whenever my choice comes up and there's a song in everything Uncle Sam versus and if Uncle Sam pops up I have to delete it cuz we already have him on here but Uncle Sam is going to take on Father time I feel like the Instinct here is to give Father Time a pretty hefty Advantage cuz like time time catches everybody yeah that's pretty hard to beat but isn't Uncle Sam like ageless like Uncle Sam has been like an icon and a representation of like the American ideals for most of a century at this point and he's the same dude he's always been he doesn't age he's not susceptible to Father times one and only attack time I mean certainly time wears down you know has worn down Americans and America and things have changed but like I feel like Uncle Sam persists but we always come back baby if he gets to represent American exceptionalism that's not the right word American idealism I I feel like that's a tough fight for Father Time unless he just I mean he's got all of time I guess so that's a lot of time does the thing is is does Father time actually do anything about time cuz time always seems well time is relative of course of course but I mean like can he shoot time beam at people age him really quickly it's and the thing about father time is that it's on his side right so like he's literally his whole game is just like he's also a DC Comics hero he he bites it and he waits you out and father father time is the you know he's definitely not susceptible to time he'll just wait he'll wait he'll just keep waiting he'll wait forever he's got all of time and no one else has all of time on their side I don't know so what matters more winning now or winning eventually yeah is this a is this an Al imate conclusion or a or approximate conclusion because I think he could wear him down who's the he in this whoever the other guy is I don't remember who he's fighting father you think father time could win this versus who Uncle Sam oh that's who ah um yeah hi Mark welcome to the debate I thought I was looking at Jack Frost up here I'm like oh that must be it no I delet I deleted the one that was there so that's why it's showing that I don't let's debate Jack Frost we got to get to him first could he beat Uncle Sam Father Time Uncle Sam Bob what do you think ah it would be a battle for the ages but I feel like Father Time takes it eventually yeah eventually so Father Time wins father time is taking on Jack Frost all right Jack Frost well you knew the future was coming all right I have an argument for this I do I actually do and I'm paying attention 100% I was paying attention before I just thought you landed on Jack Frost so he got two caught up at power wash Sim so yes no not no to that yes Father Time can last the ages but here's something to think about Jack Frost what's his power right what is Jack Frost's power coldness coldness right what actually is coldness oh I see where you're going with this you see where I'm going with this it is it is manipulation of uh energy exactly it's actually an inverse measure of energy in a system and at the end of all things at the end of eons in billions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions upon trillions to the power of trillions years down the road when time ceases all meaning you have everything that is not moving and you have everything at Absolute Zero which is representative of no energy left in the system which is as cold as it can be exactly that is the true essence of cold and if we're pitting this on an infinite scale where father time is trying to Outlast the cold why does my camera keep doing that then I'd say Jack Frost might just take this in this in this theoretical the longer Father Time Waits out Jack Frost the more powerful he is becoming exactly as as the as everything expands in the universe as temperatures and energy levels slowly spread out and decrease and dissipate literally Jack Jack Frost becomes God at some point because all that is all that there is in the universe is coldness la lack of energy lack of anything okay so Jack Frost is what you guys are saying beats father time I like that argument I have no idea if that holds up if I'm sure that there are scientists out there listening to this who are just like their head is exploding at our misunderstanding of how physics or something works but I like that exclamation my current understanding which is probably based on a flawed understanding that we don't really know the universe as it is but whatever I know how to solve this everyone who agrees with them on the subreddit let them know they're right if you disagree just stay silent about so they can feel good about themselves all right I feel pretty good about myself we just we just won the internet all right Jack Frost is now going to take on Leprechaun the leprechaun a leprechaun but Leprechaun the mascot of St Patty's Day I feel like I don't I don't even really know Jack Frost power but I feel like I could I could kill the leprechaun let's I'm sure he's a DC Comics Hero Let's look Leprechauns are figures in Irish folklore who guard hidden treasure they're small supernatural creatures can conjure ice snow and Frost from mere presence as well as freezing winds snowballs snowflakes Etc can even manifest images from frosted window panes freeze water by walking on it and conjure indoor snowfall and of course being the spirit of winter he's not bothered by the cold I feel like I want leprechauns to take this because I like leprechauns more than I like Jack Frost but I'm struggling to find a version of this fight that goes well for leprechauns yeah I don't see they are supernatural creatures right so they're they're some kind of magical power or something but like they're basically just little Mischief Makers they're the lokis of Ireland or something that's probably offensive I don't even know that's what he's green he's he's he probably be played by what's that actor's name Tom middle Middletown bur midd middlest uhhuh yep keep going Tommy middle booy but I just can't I can't even imagine a fake way maybe the leprechaun uses the pot of gold to bribe the judges into give giving the leprechaun a split decision victory at the end of five rounds or he just pays off Jack Frost to leave I feel like Jack Frost would not be interested in monetary things he's only interested in cold and coldness maybe he wants some Glacier front property he needs to buy I I just think that even if if you just give Jack Frost a lead pipe if they're both fighting it's not a running away thing it's like he's he's got it like I don't see how cuz it's like Jack Frost wins yeah because they're fighting it's it's not a it's a fight right I can't come up with a good reason why not but I don't like it put up your dukes wh Jack Frost wins blood flying everywhere gold coins dinging I just an image of Jack Frost being the [ __ ] out of a leprechaun with a lead pipe and the leprechaun is just like they're always breaking me lucky arms Jack Frost is going to take on someone else Santa Claus oh no Jack Frost is this like his son I feel like isn't his this his son in the lore yeah that's an interesting question Santa Claus has longevity ability to fit himself and others through tiny through any chimney levitating up a chimney alter the appearance of himself or other objects or beings does Santa has enough Powers here to kind of have an upper hand but the fight is still tough he knows he knows if you're sleeping he knows if you're awake he knows if you've been bad or good so presumably he knows if you've been planning you know some kind of plot against him s Santa got Intel on his side and also he like you said he can levitate up out of chimneys he can clearly transform his his shape his physical being so that he can fit into and through chimneys and things like Santa's got a lot but it's not a lot of combat oriented skills it's a lot of other well he can avoid firy injury and what if if there's one thing Pokemon taught me what is fire good against ice so you're saying Santa would Co-op the power of fire because he's he could he has an elf with a flamethrower behind him just blasting fire so Jack Frost can't even get close yeah that is something we cannot ignore Santa Claus has helpers oh that's true he essentially has an army who can make anything that they want yeah do you think willly Wonka is like Santa's cousin or something I don't know the lore but it could be I that kind of makes sense Wily won is like the creepy Uncle at the Claus family get togethers who's like giving kids candy and stuff and everyone's kind of like don't not like not like that why are you like that make give it make do a rocking horse or something thing okay with the candies with the Gob Stoppers really come on so do we think Santa Claus beats Jack Frost oh yeah it's it's blood on the snow I feel like it's a tough fight I don't think it's I don't think it's an easy one but I think Santa Claus takes it yeah who best to take on Jack Frost if you had to build someone that is meant to take down Jack Frost it looks like Santa Claus I think it depends on who has homecourt advantage in a bit too because if Santa can alter the way other objects or beings look he could have elves disguised as like an Ament objects around the room so when the fight starts they pop out and start roasting Jack Frost and it's not much of a fight but if Jack Frost has home court advantage he's got to be creative with how he would win home courts the what is it the South Pole I I don't know that's a good yeah I don't know the End of Time n it's Santa Claus all right Santa Santa's on top who will Santa be taking on WE we've switched up a lot this time it's not been like last time Bob's Choice versus Santa Claus oh yes oh my God I'm so excited for this guys can't say I am my voice is introduced with a song poop log poop sweet Confections hazelnuts and cheese if you don't poop well I'll hit you with a stick poop log you guys don't know the song for the to day Nadal also known as the catalonian poop log wait we talked about this before wait we talked about it three years ago we talked about this before the poop blog there's a tradition in Catalonia which is I believe a region in in Spain at Barcelona is in cat Catalonia I believe no no called called I'm not pronouncing it correctly the Tio toaga too Saga it essentially translates to pooping log every Christmas in catalunia families get a smiley little log with two little front sticks as legs that sort of hold it up and the face is on the front of it and it's a Christmas tradition to feed your Christmas log uh snacks every every single day you feed them Little Sweets and stuff uh and you water them and you leave them little candies and and cover them in blankets when it gets cold and the better care you take of your tio kaga I'm definitely not pronouncing that correctly I'm very sorry the better care you take of your poop log the more presents he will [ __ ] out for you on Christmas Day awesome Christmas day comes you sing the poop log song and it poops out all your Christmas presents come out of the poop logs little poop shoot I choose poop log does poop log have a chance against Santa Claus if Santa is the one who brings presence for everyone outside of catalunia I like the underdog status of poop log as usurping Santa in his region of the world this is a global fight for for Supremacy so I feel like that's tough that's tough for the log but I do want to say that I feel like they're fighting they're fighting the same fight right the poog is clearly in the same game as Santa and I feel like it depends what you're into if you prefer the poog or how Santa does things I I feel like Santa would not only have the upper hand in terms of size and strength I think he would be pissed off at this knockoff holiday tradition from some country that no one cares about like much like Uncle Sam Santa is an American hero an American tradition none of these other countries can even compare to the power of Santa Claus turning Warf stash don't know why it seems fitting for this argument we are arguing Santa versus poop log I I just want to say that Mark just said that no one knows about or cares about Spain as a country um it could be argued that uh America itself only exists thanks to Spain and Spanish explorers how long has poop log been a Thing versus how long has Santa been around we'll just wall right around any other issues with the Spanish explorers and what they may or may not have done to the Americas but America exists thanks to to uh what's his name Christopher Walkin wow look at this new land so many resources to exploit uh anyway yeah that's a really bad Chris her walking impression who's been around longer what if poop log is more ingrained in history I I find it hard I find it hard to make a strong argument for poop log it hurts to say cuz he's my he's my fighter but I didn't pick him because I thought he would win hands down I picked him because I thought thought he deserved to have his his hat in the ring that's fair it was Bob it was one of the best call backs of all time bringing back poop log we literally talked about that I think in our first Christmas episode ever several years ago now yeah I would love to say otherwise but I think I got to I think S I think Santa takes it Santa stays on top I think you roof for The Underdogs and you have a good time but in the end we know who wins that one mhm yeah it'd be a fun fight maybe but now Santa's got to take on the Great Pumpkin I know that the Great Pumpkin is a thing from peanuts and it's like a the special right but is it actually a creature or is it just like a big pumpkin an unseen character a legendary personality who rises from the pumpkin patch carrying a large bag of toys to deliver to believing children why you say it like that so this is Halloween Santa yes this is the poop log of Halloween I I I struggle I struggle to put a lot of steak in a gourd versus a man a man like Santa I guess I mean it could be a quick debate we just we just say Santa wins I I don't even know what the Great Pumpkin does he rises from a pumpkin patch to bring toys that's it oh I remember now okay I thought I I you like actually don't remember what the Great Pumpkin is cuz I didn't watch a lot of uh peanut stuff but Amy watches a lot of it I thought you were like being obstinate I didn't realize you like didn't actually no I I actually completely forgot that that was the whole thing of Lon is going the gr pumpkin or whoever it was but it was like he waited for it uh as far as I know there's no evidence of the pumpkin actually existing all right Santa continues his winning streak well I didn't say that oh no Mark decided unilaterally Santa wins that's where we are I thought you both were pretty mad at it that like the pumpkin is just a pumpkin I don't know that's what I was saying before I realized what the Great Pumpkin actually was and I was going to say that if the Great Pumpkin didn't win Amy would be incredibly mad at me so does the Great Pumpkin beat Santa because Amy would be mad at no it's too late you made your choice thanks a lot I heard zero effort of fighting for the Great Pumpkin from either of you so uh Santa versus the Tooth Fairy I just want to throw this out there I know that this is just a fictional depiction but this is the version of the tooth fairy that I like Dwayne The Rock Johnson is the tooth fairy in the 2010 comedy fantasy film Tooth Fairy I I think Dwayne The Rock Johnson with the additional Supernatural powers that he gains as being the Tooth Fairy is quite the combatant for Santa what about the 2006 tooth fairy images from the movie tooth fairy and return of the tooth fairy I I don't know what that is the Tooth Fairy is a 2006 horror film oh yeah it's not pleasant wait which one is it there's two things queen of pain there's drill to kill no it's the Tooth Fairy I mean there's a lot of depictions of the tooth fairy we can we have lore to work with oh the way the tooth fairy looks in the movie The Tooth Fairy is concerning yes yeah it's I mean pretty creepy but at the same time no one's got stealth like Santa so if you're if you're hoping for uh can use stealth whenever the Tooth Fairy can sense your teeth what if Santa has those teeth well but if the Tooth Fairy is hunting Santa then they're being bad which Santa Santa knows about yeah he knows about that there's a lot of intelligence Counter Intelligence between these two but I feel like Santa still has the strong the strong hand in terms of like you know being stealthy having the intelligence to to work with yeah yeah I don't know it's just like the tooth Fair even if it was Dwayne The Rock Johnson he's still just a man and I mean like if this was say a like Fairly Odd Parents level fairy with wands that can do whatever I would say actually it would have more of a chance but and plus Santa's an elf like it it's kind I don't know it's I'm with you I'm really trying to craft something here where I feel like the Tooth Fairy wins ultimately but Santa's got a lot going it's tough to beat Santa having the knowledge of when they're asleep when they're awake when they're fat or good like that's just aats everything but the tooth fair is always being bad then like would Santa have any reason to suspect anything different is up yeah that's why he comes with the lead pipe the one that Jack Frost beat the leprechaun to death with if Jack Frost can take out a leprechaun and Santa killed Jack Frost I don't see how the tooth fair is going to win this if all lore is available to whatever version of Santa we're talking about then theoretically Santa bot from Futurama is also included in our incarnation of Santa oh yeah that's true and that dude has all the weapons that you would need to execute whatever plan against the tooth fairy or whomever okay so Santa Again Santa's tough man he's got Feats you know if you if you go by like power ranking it's based on what Feats of Strength they have accomplished he's got some unbeatable ones uh-oh Santa versus a cookie rip big guy we we know about the the the weapons we know about how he likes to fight he's tricky if I was going to describe a weakness that Santa does have I already know where you're going I love it it's the milk and cookies I knew it I love it he can't avoid it's it's a vice he knows he needs to drop some pounds he knows the milk and the cookies are not helping with that he can't stop it he literally can't stop it I don't know if this is technically a power of the gingerbread man but I feel like if you took a big bite of the gingerbread man and like wash it down with some milk I feel like that's enough to kill anyone I feel like that is a toxic dose of whatever going on if it was a fight if they squared off face to face and they knew they were fighting I think Santa could take the ginger dead man cuz I don't think he's got a lot to offer in that sort of Arena but the ginger dead man knows his strengths and he just is the absolute perfect trap card to get Jolly Old St Nicholas right where it hurts it's just too perfect I'm sorry I got to go with on this one I completely agree with everything about that and I loved where you were going with it I knew it from the start and I agree fully all right so because Mark chose Ginger dead man and he was already on the list Ginger dead man makes a return CU he always comes back and has taken out Santa Claus that is literally the only matchup that I feel like he would win because at the end of the day no I I agree I feel like we were being very fair with that I was thinking to myself if Ginger dead man comes up against Santa he's going to win that I literally saw that coming I I I died to I challenge anyone out there listening to say that that is not a completely valid version of that fight that is a weakness Santa would have I I can't argue it o oh this is an interesting clap bag he I don't think he has the same weakness in the movie Krampus or Krampus however you pronounce it I do believe that whenever there's a movie that came out like in the last 10 15 years and I'm pretty sure when he came in he took the milk and cookies what everyone who who doesn't eat well that would be a weakness eating the cookie the cookie we just said would kill you no you know what I think that's an interesting argument though because Krampus is a half goat half demon monster this is not like some creature that needs to eat to sustain itself this is like a quasi Supernatural half demon type of thing anything Krampus eats they're choosing to eat because it's enticing because it's like a vice they're not like oo I'm a little hungry I better eat so that I have got the energy for this they're half demon that I don't even think they need to eat so are you saying that would beat Ginger dead man I think it's an interesting thing to ponder I think we need to talk about it a little bit I don't I don't think though that if if crompus was going to cuz it kind of crompus has a thing of like turning irony you know wouldn't crompus just if the ginger dead man try to do that wouldn't he just eat the ginger dead man potentially and he does have like little demony elf things that helped him at least in the movie do you think that Krampus would not be vulnerable to whatever it is about the ginger dead man that would kill Santa is that what you're saying basically I I think that when it's nemesises like that I feel like the first thing that the villain of polar opposite things is figure out a way to not play into the same weakness cuz if they like if you know the Flash versus the the yellow Flash whatever it is um I don't know what their weakness is but it's always like the villain has a way to exploit the hero's weakness um and prevents themself from falling into the same trap or something like that you know what that does undercut the eating the cookie weakness I just want to say generally Krampus is is described as being like a helper of Santa right so I would say arguably lesser than Santa in terms of like overall power is he a helper oh I guess Krampus was uh well so it's complicated right but like their relationship very complic they're brothers and they don't like each other very much the de it's a companion of St Nicholas it's not clear to me and I'm you know this is not thorough research so it is what it is but but Krampus brings presents and leaves presents for the good kids and punishes the bad kids by beating them with sticks and branches that doesn't sound so bad I feel like Krampus is one where like he looks super evil but then when you go to fight and he's just like ah I've got a stick ah and then Ginger dead man is just like oh boom and shoots him have you seen the movie Compass I have not that version of compass is an eldrich horor they unlike he's horrifying yeah you would say he has more than just sticks and branches at his disposal for probably however I will give one thing to what my argument was saying is that like just because he may build up a tolerance to the cookie weakness doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't still sucess like susceptible and we have to remember the ginger dead man is incredibly derisive incredibly so who wins uh Ginger bit G Ginger dead man I feel like this is actually legitimately a little bit of a tossup for me and because I like it I'm going to give it slight Edge to the ginger dead man on this one I think this would be a fight to the absolute end and the winner would just barely eek it out I think this is pretty close actually yeah this is like they're strangling each other they're falling down you know in Lord of the Rings and stabbing each other sword and take some light poof you know I am curious if the ginger dead man has any competition left I guess we'll find out Cupid ah can Cupid stop the ginger dead man maybe this is not entirely accurate but ideologically cupid is kind of like the inverse of the ginger dead man and in terms of origin unrelated and like cupid is more of like a cherub creature like almost like Angelic in terms of skills and abilities I'm not entirely sure what that encompasses if anyone could counter the deriven and cut through that with just pure love and such sincere heartwarming like glowing happiness and love for Humanity that that alone might be enough to kill the ginger dead man just out of like cringing and and shock so this is like Harry versus Voldemort whenever Voldemort's like ah and Harry's like you'll never know love or friendship no it's it's like Harry versus Voldemort but it's just the scene where Harry's all and then Voldemort's all and that's it that's just a lot of that back and forth but a lot of that too yeah a lot of that so does Cupid beat the ginger dead man with the power of love I feel like that's a good that's a good weapon against the ginger dead man he can fly I don't even know I mean of course a ginger dead man could get a gun but yeah it's the love angle it is like the we've spent so much time focusing on the the deriven of the ginger dead man that has to also be a weakness right you can't hinge so much of your strength on something like that without that being a weakness point if any of these contestants could counter the deriven it would have to be Cupid so cupid beats the ginger dead man I think I think that's what we're saying yeah I'm a little I'm a little shocked that that is where we are but I think that's what we're saying yeah what an upset okay can Cupid be dethroned by the groundhog well he's got an arrow uh it's hunting season so I don't know I don't know about this one guys I don't know yeah I I'm very Pro Punk Satani Phil I'm all about the groundh uh he's very cute but what does he have other than seeing his shadow and either running back in his hole or not running back in his hole he shoots the ginger dead man fills him with love swaps over his quiver for his normal arrows and just shoots the CR look you choose the right weapon for your opponent okay we're not saying Cupid won because he's only full of love we're saying that's how that's how he won that fight and let's be honest let's be honest the groundhog is predictable he comes out in the open and sticks his head up at the exact same time every year it's kind of asking to get an arrow through the eyeball I feel like even if we're going to be really generous to the groundhog and say that this is the this is the lore the lore of the groundhog includes the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day which includes the groundhog driving a truck uh off of a cliff into a quarry and some mother Shenanigans I think that's just a t unless Cupid accidentally lets themselves get run over by the truck that punk Satani Phil is driving when they're doing the police chase scene in the movie I feel like it's a tough it's a tough fight for groundhog here all right Cupid has one enemy left let's see who it is white line white line white line white line white line ah the Easter Bunny all right you know um you know we just said about the ground oh but this Easter Bunny has eggs this Easter look at least bunnies are are hoppy okay they're fast this is a fullon man in a bunny costume let's let's be straight up about this let's establish let's establish the Easter Bunny lore is this a humanized Easter bunny costume is this a bunny sized Easter Bunny that lays chocolate eggs what is our Easter Bunny specifically imagine uh like um just just enormously ripped muscular guy with like one Dwayne The Rock Johnson wearing a rabbit mask God yeah but one of those ones with the strings that you just like I feel like the Easter Bunny has more potential to like have some secret power [ __ ] going on that no one knows about and I feel like there actually could be a dark side the Easter Bunny actually has Uncle Sam's phone number and is able to call in drone strikes look at the the movie there's bunnyman Massacre and also beaster day and Easter bunny kill kill Easter Bunny Massacre whoa beaster day that poster art is is pretty cool wait hold on holy crap what in the hell oh no look at some of the art from look at some of the stills from the movie waa oh my God what in the Five Nights at Freddy's [ __ ] is this whoa is it I bet like maybe the you know oh no that's 2014 it's before AI someone made that I see like a like a lizard in there that movie poster is awesome Here Comes Peter cotton hell yeah do you see the the lady to torn in half do you see that yeah oh my God so does this change the fight at all if this this thing you talking the beaster day bunny oh let's see if there's a cupid horror movie oh my God I hope that Beast your day sales Spike and just whoever was in like what happened cuz I I am actually going to watch this there was a 2020 movie called Cupid where the evil Cupid takes revenge on all people who wronged Fay I'm watching the trailer I'm not even paying attention to you I got the trailer for beer day we're doing a show here man you you sometimes I worry like you know when filming of ironlung first started that the people that don't know me when they hear that like a YouTuber is making a movie and they're they're coming into work that they think it's going to be something like this wow she is naked oh interesting in the trailer uh yeah okay this is unrelated but I found a a poster art for a movie called Sharktopus versus Terracuda and I like it a lot oh man I actually unironically want to make a movie like this like in this style a whole movie to this level I actually want to see if I can pull off this kind of level because there's a certain quality to it well not qu quality is wrong word yes it is you're not saying that it's high quality you're saying that it has a quality to it it's the same Reon reason why it's a Vibe yeah Source Filmmaker stuff versus Gary's Mod animations Gary's Mod animations are funnier period I don't know why but the Jank makes it work better like for some reason versus a really nice whatever polished smooth animation speaking of versus Cupid versus that Easter bu no Easter beaster Bunny I think if beaster Bunny Gets to be gets to represent the Easter Bunny in the fight against horror movie Cupid have you looked up horror movie Cupid I yeah it's not that that doesn't do it for me it's just kind of creepy but yeah it doesn't that one when you see baser bunny this Cupid guy is just going to mask in some teeth well ho ho ho there you have it everyone beaster bunny comes out on top in the big Mega prize fight among all holiday mascots that we could come up with and ginger dead man a beloved Christmas mascot Ginger dead man I mean a gingerbread cookie is kind of Representative of Christmas right let us know how you feel about this prize fight on the subreddit I still can't believe Cupid was the one who took out the ginger dead man yeah I know the power of love I have to give the win to Bob today simply for the fact that I cannot give enough points for the poop log call back ah that was that was such a niche reference that I did not remember and your excitement with finding it and remembering just he didn't invent the poop log wait he didn't make it up on he brought it back to us D remember when you said that thing that we talked about 3 years ago I've never seen someone work miracles like you have today in this moment Mar just sad cuz he lost [ __ ] you I'm sorry hey he apologized that's apology accepted for the [ __ ] you at least I'm sorry can I win no eat dick Bob do you have a winner speech um I'm just glad that I could remind everyone that the PO Boop blog exists I wish he had had gotten a favorable fight so he could have at least made it to the top of the hill for a moment fair is fair he he just got out sanded by the claw himself so what are you going to do about it we had some good turnover Santa held the the belt for a while but we did have some good turnover today Mark loser speed no it's my turn yeah uh so it's like you know whatever I'm not upset and I apologize hey he apologized great I hope everyone out there forgives him it's up to you can I win uh nope so go follow Mark and Markiplier Bob at Myer M Wade minion 777 or Lord minion 777 and until then I guess stay tuned for the next one we're Bob will host we'll figure out what that's all about then which is not Now podcast [Music] out

Channel: Not Distractible Revived

Views: 18,426

Keywords: Return Of The Gingerdead Man, The Gingerdead Man, Gingerdead Man, markiplier, lordminion777, muyskerm, minion777, distractible, distractible podcast, distractible full episodes

Id: CND7iJYrAC0

Length: 52min 43sec (3163 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 04 2023