Respond to Compliments in English—The Right and Wrong Ways

[Music] hi i'm anne marie with speak confident english and welcome to this week's confident english lesson where we're talking about how to accept compliments in english several weeks ago i did a lesson on how to give compliments especially to colleagues at work who do something amazing and you want to tell them about it but now we need to talk about how to accept them and the truth is there is how you should accept a compliment in english and there's how native speakers actually do it and i want you to know both because if someone gives you a compliment i want you to know exactly what to say and if you give a compliment to a native speaker they might not respond the way that you think it might be a little bit confusing or surprising so i want to tell you what to expect so that you're not surprised and you know what to do now before we get into all of that if you like this lesson be sure to subscribe to this youtube channel so you don't miss any future confident english lessons you can also give it a thumbs up here on YouTube or share it on Facebook those are two fantastic ways to let me know that this lesson was helpful to you alright let's dive into today's topic as I shared in that previous lesson giving compliments is a super kind and generous thing to do it can make your best friend feel better it can help you build relationships it can show kindness and generosity at work it can improve situations at work and it's just a really nice thing to do it makes other people feel great but the truth is giving a compliment is often much much easier than accepting one in fact most native speakers have a really difficult time accepting a compliment instead of saying a simple thank you they often act really embarrassed they don't know what to do and they say something that might disagree with your compliment it's like they're trying to push it away or change it to something negative and when you tell someone that they did something really great or they look wonderful it might seem surprising to you when a native speaker turns it to something negative so we're going to take a look at a few situations that are really common in some normal everyday compliments we'll talk about what you should say and hopefully what other native English speakers will say with those kinds of compliments but we'll also look at what might be common or what you might hear so that you're not surprised situation number one you see one of your good English speaking friends maybe it's a neighbor and you say wow I love your skirt or that's a really beautiful dress now of course your friend should say thank you so much or thank you or yeah thanks it's my favorite skirt but what you'll probably hear is someone say something like this skirt oh it's so old or oh my gosh I just threw this on this morning I didn't even think about it this skirt I can't believe it even fits me oh yeah thanks it's no big deal I got it on sale as you can see in all of those examples the native speaker is taking the compliment and kind of pushing it away turning it into something negative now I'm not saying it's correct and I'm not suggesting that you should do this it is so much better to simply say thank you again native English speakers often feel embarrassed or nervous about compliments they love them they definitely want someone to compliment them but when it happens they don't know what to do about it and the reason it's important for you to know that is I don't want you to feel confused or upset or think that you did something wrong when a native speaker gives you this kind of negative response I want you to know that it's very possible this will happen to you the best thing you can do when a native speaker sort of pushes that compliment away is simply say no really I love it it's a great skirt or no it looks wonderful on you simply repeat the compliment and then everything will kind of be okay now situation number two is when you compliment a colleague at work maybe you say something like that was a great presentation or you did an awesome job in that presentation the way that you should respond and the way that a native speaker should respond is thank you so much I'm glad you liked it or thank you I really appreciate your feedback and simply accept the compliment but again you might hear something that is a little bit more negative so you might hear something like oh my gosh I was so nervous I think I messed up in the middle or I totally destroyed the beginning of the presentation now in these responses the native speaker might be trying not to feel or sound arrogant they're embarrassed they don't know what to do so they're pushing the compliment away but as a result what they're really saying is they're terrible at their job and that is never a good thing to say so once again using a basic thank you and maybe adding something like I really appreciate that is the best way to respond to that kind of compliment now if you live in an english-speaking country or there are a lot of expatriates where you live you might meet other parents and maybe you're at a park and you see a mother with her children and you say something like your daughter is so sweet she's so kind now the best thing you could say is thank you so much I'm so lucky or thank you it's really kind of you to say that but again unfortunately you might hear some more negative responses for example oh my gosh you should have seen her yesterday she was a nightmare or wow she's not normally this well-behaved I don't think I need to tell you why those particular comments are not positive ways to respond first and foremost it's a terrible thing to say about a child you always want to encourage your children and encourage that polite kind behavior so it's definitely not nice to say that and it teaches a child not to accept a compliment and that's not good either we want children to grow up knowing that they are loved and they're wonderful and we want to teach them how to properly accept a compliment so I'm going to say it again yes those important words thank you are always the best way to respond thank you for your kind comment thank you for noticing thank you that's so kind of you and finally situation number four you go to get a coffee you go to a coffee shop you're ordering coffee and the person behind the counter says wow I love your earrings now if you've seen this video and learned the best way to respond hopefully you might say something like thanks they're my favorite or thanks I love them too and with that simple comment that simple acceptance of the compliment both people can continue on their day and feel fantastic because giving compliments is always a really nice thing to do and knowing how to accept them is also pretty great now I am super curious what it's like in your culture with compliments what do people know emily's say do you also have a situation where there's something you should say and then there's the reality of what people do I'd love to hear about it so you can share with me in the comments section in the online lesson just go to the very bottom of the lesson it's the best place to share your thoughts with me ask questions and get feedback so I really want to know what it's like where you live how do people handle compliments what do they do and as always I have a challenge for you I have a few example compliments and I want you to tell me in the comments how you should accept them and with that thank you so much for joining me I look forward to hearing from you in the comments and I'll see you next time for your confident English lesson

Channel: Speak Confident English

Views: 86,667

Keywords: advanced english for professionals, advanced english language skills, become confident in english, english conversation practice advanced, english for shy speakers, english lessons advanced speaking, english lessons for shy speakers, essential english fluency tips, how to speak english with confidence, learn advanced english conversation, speak confident english, compliments in English, how to respond to a compliment, how to respond to compliments

Id: E4goHsY3e0A

Length: 9min 38sec (578 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 18 2018