-Today, House Democrats voted to admit Washington, D.C.
as the 51st state, despite some truly dumb
objections from Republicans, who've spent the week freaking out about everything
from D.C. statehood to voting rights,
to the Green New Deal. For more on this,
it's time for "A Closer Look." ♪♪ I have to say,
it is such a relief to not have to care about what Donald Trump says
or does anymore. I mean, he did
a sit-down interview with Sean Hannity
earlier this week and we haven't mentioned it once
or played a single clip from it. If he was still president,
we would've had to cover it, but, now,
we can just ignore it. It's the same kind
of freedom I felt once I gave myself permission to stop caring about all
the various plotlines in the
Marvel Cinematic Universe. It used to be that, when I
watched one of those movies, I was trying to retrace
every decision Dr. Strange made in the time loop
that, somehow, led to the blip and The Avengers
defeating Thanos. And then, you know what?
I gave myself permission to just sit back, relax, and enjoy Loki's antics. Oh, you trickster, you! I cannot wait to see
what kind of goofs you get up to with Owen Wilson. Although, as much as I love
Tom Hiddleston, I really wish mid-2000s
Vince Vaughn was playing Loki. [ As Wilson ]
I'm just not sure
I can trust you, Loki. [ As Vaughn ]
Buddy, buddy, buddy,
you're breaking my heart, here. I would never lie to you. Sure, I would embellish
for effect, sure. Have I told a fib,
here and there? Guilty as charged.
And, if that's a crime, by all means, lock me up
and throw away the key. But to lie to you?
No, not ever. Not ever, buddy. [ As Wilson ]
Alright, I'll give you
the Tesseract, Loki, but I'm vouching for you, here. Bring it back. [ Laughter ]
Even when I scroll Twitter and see stills
from that interview, it's a little shocking
to remember that he even exists and that he still
looks like this. I mean, presidents are supposed
to look more relaxed, once they're out of office. Trump looks like he's been
up all night, trying to find the sailboat
in a Magic Eye poster. Meanwhile, Obama somehow
looks ten years younger. He's cruising around
with his shirt unbuttoned, like the CEO
of a music festival and he's doing a podcast
at Bruce Springsteen. Soon, he's going to start
taking over the Little Steven parts
in "Glory Days." [ As Obama ]
♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Alright! ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ [ Laughter ]
I guess that's the difference between being a former
president who's beloved and a former president who's
under criminal investigation, although, I will say, before Trump even answered
a single question -- and I know, I said
we're going to ignore it, but I'm like
a moth to a flame, baby! Plus, it's what
the audience wants. Right, you guys? [ Laughter ]
Thanks for having my back, Baze. Where was I? Oh, yeah, before Trump
answered a single question, the interview was already off
to an absolutely ludicrous start when Hannity said this. -Alright, so,
I know a lot of people that are around you every day. This is what
they're all telling me. You are working
as hard as you did when you were
in the White House, except,
you play a little golf more. That you're keeping
an insane schedule seven days a week. You really don't stop. -Man, there are softballs
and then, there are tee balls, but that was like
Hannity put the ball on the other side of the fence
and then told Trump to walk around the bases
like he hit a dinger. [ As Hannity ]
You did it, sir, not me. Now, let's see
that home run trot. What was the next question? [ As Hannity ]
I heard there were a lot of behind-the-scenes pranks
at the White House. [ As Trump ]
Oh, yeah. One time, we tied
a chicken nugget to a Roomba and made Eric chase it
for three days. It wasn't all laughs, though. He came back. [ Laughter ]
But, as that clip proves, as much as a relief it is to not have to cover
or care about Trump anymore, the Republican Party
he left behind is still very much committed
to both the ideology and the performance
of Trumpism -- the paranoia,
conspiracy theories, racism, and lies about everything
from coronavirus to climate change, to voting
reforms, to D.C. statehood. In fact, in some cases, they're still pushing some
of Trump's trademark lies, ones you may have
even forgotten about, like his debunked
and dangerous claim that hydroxychloroquine
can cure coronavirus. Remember that oldie
from summer 2020? Well, it's back,
thanks to former Housing Secretary Ben Carson,
who resurrected the hydroxychloroquine lie
on Fox News this week and even Fox had a hard time
letting him get away with it. -We as a nation, for instance, wanted to be focused only
on one thing -- vaccinations. There were people telling us,
you know, there are ivermectin and other
kinds of things that work -- hydroxychloroquine
-There's a number -has worked as well.
-of medical experts who've looked at that, Doctor,
as you know, and pooh-poohed that connection
with hydroxychloroquine. -You know, you just said,
you know, a bunch of people have pooh-poohed
the hydrochloroquine, but the evidence is there. -It's nice to have a marker that shows exactly
when Ben Carson fell asleep. It's like when your girlfriend
falls asleep during "Law & Order" and says,
"Hey, was it the husband?" No, they ruled the husband out
five minutes in. And also, God forgive me, I really don't want this
to be my primary focus, but I do love that Cavuto
inadvertently got Carson to repeat the word pooh-pooh. You never want to hear a doctor
use the word pooh-pooh, unless they're
a gastroenterologist. [ Laughter ] Where's the rimshot?
Is Fred not here today? Because we needed
the rimshot there. Okay, but can we just get him
to record a rimshot, so we have something to play? Do we have anything on hand
for the end of that joke? Okay. Alright, I'll do it again. You never want to hear a doctor
use the word pooh-pooh, unless they're
a gastroenterologist. -♪ Shots, shots, shots, shots,
shot-shots ♪ [ Laughter ]
Why that? Oh, right, right, right,
because we already used our entire music allowance
when we played it on Monday? [ Laughter ]
Fine, but that's the last time
I want to hear it! Also, can we go back to this? -The evidence is there. -No, it's not.
Where are you getting this evidence from?
Who are you talking to? [ As Lindell ]
It cures everything -- coronavirus, hemorrhoids, joint pain, sleep deprivation. It even acts as a steroid
to help you build muscle mass so you can fight antifa
when they come to your door. You give 'em a little one-two. [ Laughter ]
Or you can become an athlete and win the Super Bowl
with Da Bears! [ Laughter ] You know, usually we film
"Late Night" in New York, but on Thursdays, we do it
from Callback City, baby! [ Laughter ] We get five cents back
for every joke we recycle. Happy Earth Day. [ Laughter ]
Anyway, the point is the GOP is still very much
committed to the toxic, paranoid, authoritarian
ideology of Trumpism. People like Matt Gaetz
and Marjorie Taylor Greene are perfect examples. As President Biden prepared to hold a climate summit
with world leaders and as progressives,
led by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, reintroduced
the Green New Deal, Marjorie Taylor Greene,
who craves attention, challenged AOC
to a debate on Twitter, which, for AOC, is not
even worth responding to. It's like George Foreman getting
challenged to a boxing match by DJ Qualls. Quallback. [ Laughter ]
But Greene persisted, posting a photo of herself
yesterday, talking to AOC on the House
floor, in a tweet that said... First of all,
I doubt AOC agreed. Second, you want us
to be impressed that you can read 14 pages? My cable bill
is longer than that. The script for this segment is usually like
three times as long, much to Shoemaker's chagrin. That's right, his chagrin. You see, as a producer,
it's Shoemaker's job to make sure the entire show
fits into an hour and that it starts on time
and, you know, works as a coherent television show. And, every day,
we do a hilarious prank where we tell him "Closer Look"
will be a normal length and then, when Sal turns it in,
it's got nine different tangents about TV shows from the '80s and it's longer than the final
episode of "M-A-S-H." Suicide may be painless, but cutting his jokes
hurt Sal deeply. You see, "Suicide Is Painless"
is the name of the "M-A-S-H" song,
which doesn't have lyrics, but it does have lyrics
in the original "M-A-S-H" movie, which is from 1970, which is also
where Shoemaker's from. [ Laughter ]
Oh! And he's looking
chagrined again. Anyway, Greene helpfully
followed up this morning with another tweet,
where she informed us that she had, in fact,
read the bill and was now ready
for the debate, tweeting... Okay.
Thanks for keeping us posted. Greene's just dying to grab
some of AOC's spotlight. She reminds me of the doorman
at my old building, who always said, "You should
have me on your show. A lot of crazy stories
happen here. One time, a package game, but it was
for a different address." [ Laughter ] But Greene's a perfect avatar
of Trumpism because it's all performance. I mean, she admitted
she hadn't even read the bill before she challenged AOC
to a debate. That's the state
of the modern GOP. We saw it on display
yet again this week during hearings
on voting rights. For example, former Georgia
gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams testified
in the Senate about Georgia's Draconian
new voter suppression laws. Louisiana Senator John Kennedy
challenged Abrams to list off her objections
to the bill and you could tell
he was not ready for her to actually have such
a detailed, substantive list. -Tell me, specifically,
just give me a list, of the provisions
that you object to. -I object to the provisions
that remove access to the right to vote, that shorten the federal
runoff period from nine weeks to four weeks...
-Okay. -...restrict the time
that a voter can request and return an absentee ballot
application. -Right.
-It requires that a voter have a photo identification or some
other form of identification that they're willing
to surrender, in order to participate
in absentee ballot process. -What else? -It eliminates over 300 hours
of dropbox availability. -Okay. What else? -It bans nearly all
out-of-precinct votes. -Is that everything? -No, it is not. [ Laughs ]
No, sir. It restricts
the hours of operation. Instead of those hours being
from 7:00 to 7:00, they're now from 9:00 to 5:00, which may have
an effect on voters who cannot vote during business
hours during early voting. It limits the hours --
-Okay. I get the idea. -It's so cathartic
to watch a person who actually knows
what she's talking about school these bad-faith goons. Kennedy and his ilk
weren't expecting such a detailed response because they're so encased
in their right-wing bubble. They're used to dealing
with their fellow MAGA weirdos. The hardest questions
they're ever exposed to are -- [ As Hannity ]
You work so hard.
How do you do it? Also, my favorite part
of that clip is that his only comeback is,
"What else?" He's like a guy who repeatedly
gets dunked on during a pickup game
and says, "That all you got?" And then, after you score
21 unanswered points on him and he's limping off the court,
he says... -I get the idea. -And then, this week, the GOP
continued hitting home runs with some more lowlights
ahead of today's House vote on admitting D.C. as a state. Now, as we've explained before,
admitting D.C. is one of many steps necessary
to rebalance a democracy tilted heavily
in favor of small, rural, and disproportionately
white states. D.C. has zero senators, with a population
of nearly 700,000 people, which is more
than the state of Wyoming, which has two senators, the same number of senators
as California, a state that has
39 million people. Hell, at any given time,
there are more people stuck in traffic on the 405
than there are in Wyoming. [ Laughing ] Hey, Fred,
speaking of the 405, you want to give us a little bit
of "The Californians"? [ Laughter ] He didn't he didn't record
that, either? Do we have anything else
we can play? -♪ Shots, shots, shots, shots,
shot-shots ♪ -I told you guys I didn't want
to hear that again! And, yet,
I'm the one who set it up. It's like I'm working
against my own interests. [ Laughter ] Now, I'm chagrined. [ Laughter ]
Then, today, Kentucky Congressman James Comer
claimed to know what this whole D.C.
statehood thing is really about. -Let's be clear what HR 51 is
all about. It's about Democrats
adding two new, progressive US senators to push a radical agenda
championed by The Squad, to reshape America into the socialist utopia
they always talk about. -Yeah, we wouldn't want some
sort of socialist utopia with ridiculous ideas
like healthcare for all, green energy, free college,
and a $15 minimum wage. I mean, how long is this bill,
anyway, 14 pages? And we're supposed to read that
in, what, one night? These guys talk about the
so-called socialist utopia as if it was a bad thing,
when polls repeatedly show that the core ideas
of what progressives are actually proposing are overwhelmingly popular
with voters. In fact, that's why
they're opposed to rebalancing our democracy --
because, if we do, those popular ideas have a much
better chance of becoming a law. Republicans are like
substitute teachers who threaten to punish their
class by putting on a movie, instead of continuing
with the lesson plan. "Look, if you guys don't want
to learn fractals, then I'll have no choice but to make you watch 'Amadeus'
on laser disc and, looking at the back, here, it says there's adult language
and brief nudity. Okay, I'm not seeing
a lot of hands for fractals." Of course,
it won't shock you to learn that Republicans don't actually
have any convincing, principled arguments
against D.C. statehood, because there aren't any. They act like there have been exactly 50 states
in the Union since 1776, which, obviously,
isn't the case. In fact, rural states
have done this same thing throughout history, to grow
their own political power. Exactly. You think the framers
envisioned, not one, but two Dakotas when they
wrote the Constitution? Those dorks barely knew
where the Dakotas were. Back then, they just rode
one horse until it died and then hitchhiked
onto another one. And that only got you
to West Boston. And, back then, West Boston
was not a neighborhood you wanted to get lost in. [ Boston accent ]
Bro! Bro, you lost? [ Posh accent ]
I'm not lost.
I'm Benjamin Franklin and I was born here. [ Boston accent ]
I don't know you, bro. [ Laughter ]
You live here now? [ Posh accent ]
No, I moved to Philadelphia. [ Boston accent ]
Oh, he moved to Philly.
Alright, bro, I'm going to need your waistcoat
and your knee breeches. [ Posh accent ]
I invented electricity! [ Boston accent ]
Well, I invented
I don't [bleep] care! [ Laughter ] Where were we? Oh, right, present day. In fact, Republicans have
so few legitimate arguments that, last month,
during a hearing on the D.C. statehood bill,
Congressman Jody Hice, who, incidentally,
is the Trump-backed candidate for secretary of State
in Georgia, running on the big lie that the
state was stolen from Trump, made this absolutely
ludicrous argument. -Under this bill, D.C. would, in fact, become the first among states, which is exactly what
our founders sought to avoid. D.C. would be the only state -- the only state -- without an airport, without a car dealership,
without a capital city, without a landfill. Without even a name
on its own. And we could go on
and on and on. -It's hard to know where
to even begin with that. A full list of fact checks
would be at least 14 pages long and we can't do that
because, then, it would take Marjorie Taylor Greene
an entire day to read it. First of all, there are
car dealerships in D.C. You don't need to be
like a geography genius to know that little tidbit. Just look for one
of those goofy tube men flapping his arms
on the side of the road. Of course, if this moron
ever saw one of those guys, he'd probably think it was
a distressed motorist. [ As Hice ]
You need a ride, man?
Hop in the back. I'm listening to this new
recording of "Glory Days." [ As Obama ]
♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Alright! ♪ [ Laughter ]
♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ They'll, uh ♪ ♪ Pass you by ♪ [ Laughter ] Second, D.C. does have
a name, right? I mean, when you go on Kayak,
there's not an option to stay at hotels
near the National Mall and "You know where." Trump himself
has thankfully gone, but, as we've seen,
yet again, this week, both the ideology
and performance of Trumpism are still very much
at the core of the modern GOP. They've spent the last few days
trotting out incredibly dumb lies,
about everything from D.C. statehood
to voting rights, to the Green New Deal,
and, yet, no matter how many times
they miss, they won't stop taking -- -♪ Shots, shots, shots, shots,
shot-shots ♪ -This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Laughter ] ♪♪ God's Love We Deliver
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Hannity: "Trump has been working around the clock, seven days a week, so impressive"
Working on what, exactly. He's banned from twitter so now his schedule is wide open