Posted by
u/HTTYDFan96 4 days ago Found My Father After 20 Years. I End Up Regretting
It S
Not sure if this goes here, but had to get this off my chest somewhere I (27F) haven't seen my father in 20 years,
thanks to my mother. She left him and took me with her to the other end of the country.
During the divorce, she spread lies about him hurting me and having kiddie stuff on
his computer. She lied to everyone that would listen. In the end, she got full custody,
and he never saw me again. I believed her lies, and my mind created false memories based
off those lies. All the while, she was spreading lies; she was beating and belittling me behind
closed doors. Thanks to years of therapy, I can more or
less separate the real from the fake. Once I learned that he never actually hurt me,
I went looking for him. Today, I finally found him on Facebook. He's remarried and seemingly
happy. I scrolled through his page, learning about the man that taught me to swim, golf,
play soccer, and take me out for root beer floats after school. I regretted almost immediately
when his first post was about how anyone who celebrates Juneteenth should be eradicated
in order to keep america racially pure. Another post was him praising those who were at the
January 6th Insurrection and how he wished he had been there. The last post I looked
at was him holding a shotgun he labeled the f@ggot killer with the caption, "I'm doing
god's will." I didn't scroll any further than that.
I feel disgusted that I come from not one but two nutjobs. If I had grown up with both
of them, I might have ended up believing in the same stuff as them. I can't imagine being
so full of hate and disgust just because someone is different than you.
In the end, I have decided to not make contact. I'm not going to risk bringing that kind of
toxicity into my family's lives. Besides, if he had really cared about me, he would
have sought me out long before I went looking for him. Posted by
u/arachnakid57 3 days ago Entitled parent tries to steal seat because
"you guys are not even talking" and then she complains we are faking a disability
M Hello there ladies and gentleladies this wonderful
story occured last Sunday and I've been ruminating on posting it. So a bit of backstory I (14m)
have ADHD which causes me to have an awful stutter and my friend (14m) has autism and
normally wears noise cancelling headphones / earphones as the noise and light can send
him into a melt down. Because of this we tend to communicate in BSL. As I don't stutter
and he can be in perfect silence. I also was in a very dark space a few years ago and I
regularly go to the gym and go for runs as it gives me time to think, because of this
I am pretty hench. Anywhos backstory out of the way. My friend and I were strolling along on one
of our usual paths that has some really nice views and minimal cars. About halfway into
the walk there is a pub (bar for you yanks) and because the British heat is ridiculous
we decided that we would go in and get a lemonade or a shandy depending on how lucky we were.
The whole time communicating in sign language. After took our seats (the last seats under
the covered area outside) a woman who I think I'll call KAREN walked up to us with a little
kid in tow. She loudly boomed in her stuck up voice "um boys I think you'll find those
are my seats see I know the pub owner so you best move besides you weren't even talking
anyway just take your drink to go". Now ladies and gentlemen let me tell you something we
also knew the owner because the owner is my friends (the one who is with me now) dad.
I then manage to string together a comprehensible set of words "Um we were talking we were just
using sign language". Then the Karen said "oh so your faking a disability god what is
wrong with your generation" seemingly forgetting her brat behind her who is tugging on her
hand throwing a hissy fit. Now rather nervous I manage to stutter out
" w-w-we're n-not though w-we just p-prefer to c-c-comunicate this way". At this point
the Karen is screaming a slurry of insults at us asking me to speak up and to just "f-ing
move". Shen then tried to grab me and my friend and throw us off the bench. This set my friend
off and he started having a meltdown. This caused his father to come outside as he realised
that something was wrong. The lady continues to berate me punctuating her word by knocking
a finger into her chest at the end of every word. At this point I had had it so I punctuated
back... considerably harder. As the lady was stumbling backwards she somehow
managed to stay upwards despite her blubber. However she had stepped on her childs finger
as he was on the floor... In a hissy fit this sent the kid crying harder and her eyes finally
landed on our hero of this story. My friend's dad who was hugging my friend trying to calm
him down. She somehow did not see that he was hugging one of his patrons she asualted
seconds earlier and did not seem to make the connection so she screamed "Maaanager this
person just assaulted me " At this point my friend's dad was such a shade
of red that if I took my glasses of and squinted I couldn't tell a strawberry and him apart.
He then proceeded to shout a string of expletives at this woman that even I didn't know. Since
that didn't send the woman packing he then shouted "I will call the cops of you don't
leave right now" this seemed to spur some action into the lady and she promptly dragged
her kid off the floor and scurried away like the vermin she is. Leaving one autistic child in a meltdown,
me pretty miffed a crack in the brand new decking from where she stumbled back and dents
from where the kid was throwing a tantrum on the floor and stamping his feet. Plus one
angry pub owner. Drinks were nice though got something considerably
harder than a shandy to "calm the nerves" as he said. But had to cut our walk short
as my friend was still not in the best state. Posted by
u/Large_Wrongdoer_8490 3 days ago entitled mom thinks my wedding is for her
and her guests S
hi i’m not sure if i’m posting this in the right place but i need somewhere to post
this and rant. i was gonna use a throwaway account but idc this is the one i use all
the time anyway. I(24f) am getting married next year and my
mom thinks she can invite whoever she wants to invite to my wedding without asking my
fiancé and i first. my mom just found out about a family member that shes never met
before to be invited to my wedding. i just recently sent out save the dates and i gave
one to her and come to find out she sent hers to this family member behind my back. i tried
explaining to her that i understand it’s family but we have never met them before and
i’m not trying to have my wedding be the place that we meet for the first time and
weddings aren’t family reunions. she thinks i’m being a bridezilla and i feel bad but
it’s my wedding and i should have a say on who’s invited and who’s not. she also
took it upon herself to invite my uncles sister in law and uncles mother in law bc she talks
to them and they’re nice. she didn’t even ask me if she could invite them and she told
them they could come so now i’m feeling obligated to give them an invite since they
now know about my wedding. she also has stated that since my dad and her and paying for my
venue that she should have a say on who’s invited, what colors i’m choosing, and what
music is played bc it’s not just my wedding but it’s my family’s wedding as well.
she also will say things about me to my brothers girlfriend like “oh i cant wait until y’all
get married bc you’ll let me do whatever i want for yalls wedding” or “god she’s
so difficult, you wouldn’t be this difficult if y’all were getting married” i’m just
not sure what to do anymore and i shouldn’t feel this stressed about my big day. Posted by
u/Organic_Pudding_1276 2 days ago Not enough counter space
S My mother...my spouse and I got a rental house
last year, doubled our square footage from our terrible apartment and a safe neighborhood,
nice location, etc. My mom is so condescending about our house. We are really proud because
it's been a few years of us rebuilding credit, finances, so to afford this and for our kids
we are happy. It's not in the same place my parents live, and my spouse isn't my parents
favorite person, so comments get made that are rude and my parents don't care until it
comes between them and the grandkids(also, my spouse is a rude personality too so often
times i struggle to feel empathy but i totally understand where spouse is coming from in
most cases). And also, house was built in freaking 2007, not old! But today. Today my
mom asked if we use the airfryer and said "well you don't hardly have any counter space..."
and made it like we have a teeny area. We have more counter space than most people in
3bd2&1/2ba homes....and she has the audacity to say this? I don't like things on my countertop,
it's a preference. I love her but my word. She finds the negativity for everything. Why
bother with the jabs? As if that will make my spouse want to move closer to you. Guess
I'm just venting but if you've been in a similar situation I would appreciate advice. Posted by
u/beta2288 2 days ago Another waterpark EM
M This is the last EM story ive ever had in
my life. Entitled parents are kinda rare here. This one happened around 2018 ish This lady is the type of mother who just leaves
their kids to someone else to babysit. I will never understand that style of parenting.
I know its hard to parent someone, but like... Why? Why would you leave your kids behind
for a random stranger? She did that. I was just swimming around in
a pool with my little brother. Then her 5 spawns came into the pool and started splashing
around. Honestly, I didnt have an issue with that. They were nowhere near me. Then one
of them came over and splashed me, and I told him that its not nice to splash strangers.
Then I looked for his mom, and she was nowhere to be seen. Like, cmon. Why would you leave
your 5 kids in a pool? What if one of them drowns? The spawn went on with his way, and
then he came back and started splashing again. I told him to stop, and he didnt. Then the
lifeguard blew the whistle and he swam off. My brother was busy with his boat toys or
something. Then the stupid mother came back and she started
lecturing the lifeguard about how its "not his place to parent her kids" and "hes not
the parent". Then the lifeguard said something and went back to his chair. Then the stupid
mom came to ME? and tried to involve me in this whole dispute. She told me that one of
her spawns told her that I yelled at him for splashing. She started saying how its "not
my place to parent" how I "need to stop being so anti fun" and that I was "intruding on
her parenting" and I told her that maybe, if she wants to not be intruded on, maybe
SHE should parent her kids. She got mad and told me I was a "freaking jerk" and I told
her that she shouldnt teach her kids swear words. She took her kids and left to probably another
part of the waterpark. That was the end of it. I know when people on this sub think that,
theyre usually wrong. But I was right in this case. Stupid mom never came back, to me at
least. I still go back to that waterpark every few weeks with my brother, and ive seen 0
stupid or entitled parents since then. Except for that one line karen that I posted about
before Posted by
u/AbigailQuinn18 2 days ago Got told I was being financially abused, is
it true? S
(UK) Ok I am 21F but my mum still treats me as
if I’m 12 Basically I’m autistic and due to being
on disability benefits my mum is allowed to have a bank account that she monitors that
holds my benefits - however the benefits website states that she doesn’t have legal authority
over the money just to help me manage budgeting and stuff - this isn’t even a necessity,
she enforced to the benefits people that she needed my money Ok so when ever I try and ask my mum for some
money she needs proof of what I’m ordering ( I wanted to buy supplies for a craft business
I started but she said it was stupid and would only hand over the money if I screenshot my
cart) I have no access to that money or even know
how much is in it, so how is it helping me at all to even learn how to budget I’ve managed to persuade her to lend me
half of my money (only took 2 years 🤦) to test out if I can budget and I’ve already
saved £500! - she refuses to give me the rest Now she’s constantly asking me to borrow
money - 2 weeks ago it was £200 and then today it was £100 This person thinks my mum was stealing my
money when she had full access to it and then sneaking it back in when she could She’ll put her debts under my name so god
knows if that’s going to bite me in the butt later on Another thing she’s always opening my letters
and parcels, even ones that are marked private and confidential Luckily I’m in the process of moving out
because it’s all getting too much Is this financial abuse, is there anything
I can do? Posted by
u/who_asked4569 1 day ago Entitled mother threatens me with cps over
remnants of a 2 year old’s mess M
So the inspectors are coming tomorrow and my family and i have been deep cleaning. Now
i had a plan for today to finish half of what was left before my work and the rest after
my work which would have been the rest of my daughter’s mess i had missed. Well today at 6 in the morning 1-2 hours before
the time i told my friend to wake me up and make sure i clean i wake up to screaming 3
feet from me. I wake up disoriented to find my mother screaming at the top of her lungs
about trash and cleaning to which i realize she had broken into my room to scream at me. Yes people she came into my room while my
daughter and i slept soundly to scream at me. She screamed for a good 30 minutes saying
“the garbage truck is gonna be here in 30 minutes! Get your butt up and clean!” Now
heres a good idea of the mess. I had a mess on my bed of mostly clothes and
cords i was tidying because of me going through what i wanted to keep and what i wanted to
toss and on the floor yes it needed vacuuming but it had a horse a little santa straw bag
my daughter plays with and a box with maybe some trash from her not throwing away her
snack packaging the prior day. She grabs my daughter as i feel like im going
deaf from the sudden screaming and leaves refusing to let me get my child she comes
back continuing to yell at me as i rub the sleep from my eyes trying to understand whats
going on and begin yelling back at her. I have this habitual habit to stand still
and wait for someone to be quiet and stop monitoring me if im going to do anything im
told to do as i did it to get a break from my mother as a child when she did the same
thing. When she finally leaves i start cleaning and she comes back. Em (my mother) “IM GONNA CALL CPS AND SURRENDER
HER BECAUSE YOURE A PIG!” This causes me to go into hysterics because despite this
not being her first threat it was the first time shes said it this way and I panicked. Op “Im sure theyd love to know you bully
your eldest child so much to have suicidal ideation every time you enter a room thats
freaking abuse -insert colorful language-“ Em “im the -repeats colorful language-?!
Look at yourself -insert colorful language talking about a type of work to support my
daughter-“ I think to myself how i do whats needed in
order to clothe my child and get her needed diapers and necessities but know if i say
it she will make it about her. Shes currently making waffles like nothing
happened and being buddy buddy with my daughter like she didnt just call me a bunch of colorful
names and make me have a mental crisis to the point where i couldnt stop crying for
a good 2 hours. Posted by
u/idunnohelpmeplease 18 hours ago I'm just so tired of pretending to be someone
else. L
TW: +mental health struggles -homophobia -self harm -suicide Let me preface this by saying that I currently
deal with depression, anxiety, and what presents itself as undiagnosed ADHD. I also am struggling
with my identity right now. I was born biologically female, but do not feel like that label fits
me all the way anymore. Additionally, I'm almost certain that I'm bi, as I've been interested
in both males and females in the past. This would all be fine if I didn't live in
an extremely out of date religious household. Mental health is simply not something that
is looked after or cared about here, and anything outside of their tiny box of acceptable identities
(namely straight, cis-gendered, like-minded religious people), are frowned upon and shunned. I personally don't care what people do or
whom they give their love to, as long as it's all safe, legal, and consentual. And they
hate that about me. In terms of what little pieces of me that I'm okay showing off, that's
barely scratching the surface of it. Almost on a daily basis, I have to hear them
talking about how a couple that they saw in public disgusted them, how a transgender individual
is "confused" and "needs to go to church", or how they would outright refuse to call
a nonbinary person by their preferred pronouns because "it's not whay God intended"? I get to internalize the frustration of them
saying that ADHD isn't a real condition, and that if people, as children or adults "can't
focus or act their age", that it's entirely their own fault. I get to hear then say "cheer
up!" or "just calm down!" whenever I'm having a depressive episode or am on the verge of
a panic attack because I was just yelled at or confronted by a nasty customer at work.
I am told at the ripe age of 14 or 15 that a close friend that just recently lost their
battle with depression "is going to heck for their sin", and that "I will join them if
the marks on my arms are anything more than claw marks from our pets". When I end up giving away two of my dogs to
someone else because I am not mentally well enough to give them the attention that they
need and deserve, they accuse me of simply being lazy and immature. I've become a very good pretender over the
years. I humor them when they talk badly about mental health or the LGBT community, even
if it hurts. I blame every change in mood or mannerisms on simply "being tired" because
the truth wouldn't go over well. If my actions are too big to be blamed on fatigue, I make
up a reason to be upset (a plant of mine dying, being charged twice for a bill, an argument
with a friend that doesn't exist). I still allow them to use my birth name, and
have begrudgingly agreed to wear a dress for the first time in years at an upcoming wedding,
even though I would be way more comfortable in a suit and tie. And above all of that, I still pretend to
be just as religious as them, even though I couldn't care any less about religion or
whatever was written in a book from eons ago. I'm just so tired of pretending, though. When
I'm at work, or when I attended classes in person, I felt so free and light, as I didn't
have to lie to coworkers or classmates. They all seemed to accept me, no matter who or
what I appeared to be. But when I'm with family, I feel constantly
overwhelmed, as if the lies that I've been telling for years are all threatening to tangle
themselves together, contradict each other, or cause a chain reaction that brings the
web that I've been carefully weaving for years swiftly crashing down. I feel all headachey, and end up telling lies
where I don't really have to because I'm losing track of what parts are meant to stay hidden,
and what parts that I'm safe to show off. It's difficult remembering what lies I've
told to what people, and how I have to switch up my entire persona around each of them,
even down to my speech, mannerisms, and body language, if possible. I'm not sure how those toxic friends or secret
villains that we see in TV shows or books do this for so long. It's all so confusing,
and it occupies way too much of my already anxiety filled brain. At this rate, even if I did move out to get
free of this environmental, I wouldn't know how to continue to connect with my family.
I don't think that I want to go no-contact (at least, not unless something truly terrible
happens), but it's already so difficult to speak to them. I can just imagine how difficult
it would be to come back during family reunions with a different body shape, possibly going
by a different name, different mannerisms because I'm finally on enough psychiatric
medications to keep me stable without alcohol, and a partner at my side who may or may not
be male. It would be as though I'm a totally different person to them, and in a way, I
kind of am. I'm sorry if this was kind of long and rambling.
This is, unfortunately, the kind of stuff that I think about late at night, when I really
should be sleeping. I leave the real me locked in this bedroom every day, or I banish her
to my department at work, as she isn't really safe here. But maintaining the "safe" version
of me, a straight, cis-gendered, mentally sound religious woman, is so exhausting. Even
though I hate being outside most of the time, I actually enjoy going to work sometimes for
this very reason. I can be myself more with strangers and coworkers who barely know my
last name than with the family that I've known for over two decades. Posted by
u/Remarkable_Annual430 20 hours ago Mom who was furious over not going to my graduation…the
aftermath M
Hi all, I had another post about how my mother went absolutely insane over how I didn’t
go to my college graduation. It’s too much to explain…but that’s the gist, I think
my post is still on my profile and in this sub if you wish to reference. Last weekend, when she was home from work
and I was subjected to hours of interrogation. There was originally a lot of silent treatment,
but midday saturday, my dad suggested I apologise to her (since I didn’t go to my own grad,
I know it’s dumb) My apology was met with screaming about how i’m ungrateful, i’m
a bad/evil person, I shat on my whole family, stuff about good catholic education is and
I’ve blocked out the rest. One minute I was told to go to my room, the next minute
I was screamed at to get out cause I had to send more time with the family. By Saturday
evening, I was made to sit on the living room couch and stay out. I sat through an AFL game,
the cricket that had been televised from england, TV shows my tween siblings were watching.
I was constantly questioned by my mom “what i was hiding” and “what i have wrong with
me” “why am I the way that I am” because I have been “scarring the kids”. I hadn’t
eaten much for days because I was too scared to walk around the house. Obviously I was
weak and cold cause my own mother is making me well aware that I am a bad person. I deserve
bad things to happen to me. After Saturday night, I ended up with chillblanes.
I took a shower on sunday morning, and pulled out burnt strands of my hair, probably from
when I tried to hide next to an electric heater. Over the next few days things gradually started
to get a little better, Im not sure why but mum little by little started talking to me
again, even if it was just “You still haven’t told us why you decided to throw away chance
to go to your graduation” There is no why. I hated being at a catholic college, but I
can never tell her that. I have faced numerous punishments since, and I am going to continue
to pay for what I did for a long time. What ever chance I could, I read through my
college’s policy and procedures to see if I would be allowed to attend another ceremony,
my university has many throughout the year, for each semester. Mom just wanted the smiling
photos and to have a whole “look at what my kid did” moment, so I felt compelled
to SOMETHING to end this nightmare. On Monday morning, I had to take the car to
be serviced, and I had a few hours wait. While I waited at this dang Kia motors place, I
sat there sending a few emails and making a few called regarding my enrolment and finish
date so I could still be eligible for a ceremony. On Wednesday morning, I received an email
saying I am on the list for Spring Graduation. I am going to pay for every ticket (My last
post said I think it’s nearly $100AUD, found out it’s actually $165 per guest) and will
be officially confirmed closer to the date. This was all done without her knowing yet,
but she was home from work for a few days since this grief has “made her sick”….she
just didn’t go to work for 3 days. I still feel too scared to tell my mom that
I “fixed” it for her. I told my brothers about the graduation ceremonies and how afraid
I was and they actually laughed at me. Being males, they aren’t treated the same as me.
I asked them “but don’t you hate how angry she gets” they both said they were completely
numb to it and didn’t care. I’m just full of fear and I don’t know
what to do. I do wanna tell my dad, whose fat more reasonable than mom, but I’m frozen.
(F21) Posted by
u/MathematicianFalse20 1 day ago Another Entitled Airplane Mom
S A few weeks ago, I was flying back to Denver
from Atlanta. I use a cheap airline, and on the flight to Atlanta I was stuck in the middle
seat and got a little claustrophobic. No problem, I got exactly what I paid for. To avoid this,
I paid extra to choose my seat on the way back, and chose the window. I get on the plane, walk to my seat, and notice
a lady and her child in my aisle. The lady is in the middle and the child (maybe 3 or
4?) is in my seat. I didn't board late - I was one of the early groups, so she just preemptively
took the window. You have to pay extra for that. I walked up and very politely tell her it's
my seat. I never, not once, raised my voice or lost my temper. Me: "That's my seat." EM: (Very incredulous - can't BELIEVE I have
the nerve to make her move.) "Are you SERIOUS?" Me: "Yes, completely." EM: "You don't have to be such A B*TCH!" Me: (Thinking this escalated quickly) "Ma'am,
I haven't been a b*tch at all. Not yet." EM: "I'm NOT sitting next to you if you're
a bench." Me: (Umm, ok?) "Then, if there are empty seats,
I suggest you move if you don't want to sit next to me. That's my seat." She then stands up and yells for the flight
attendant because she "Isn't sitting next to a stupid b*tch." The poor flight attendant comes over and gives
me an embarrassed look, and tells her she needs to sit down in the correct seat and
wait to see if there are no shows. EM then proceeds to tell everyone around what
a b*tch I am, etc, earning my more embarrassed looks from other passengers. At the end of the day, I got my seat, wasn't
claustrophobic, and she looked like an a**, but what is the deal with parents like that?
I have three boys and I would never, ever expect people to give up seats for us. Certainly
not ones they paid extra for.
