Reddit’s most normal parents

where are you we just left grilled which one Winter Garden so you're not at the botanic gardens no we're chilling in public there's an I play we're going to the arcade why have you turned your location off why are you tracking me man be more like the Boomers and Gen X you don't know where your kids are you don't give a crap you have to watch a TV ad to remind you that you even have children oky no I'm bored please help me oh God spooky what the okay this one's great what the hell am I looking at mom wants me to make a long drive while I'm sick what happening are y'all going to be later hello so if you're not going to respond to me and you're not injured or in trouble I will turn off your phone I'm sorry I'm sick I don't feel good and please I'll just come over tomorrow after volleyball sorry for worrying you you don't need to be no you need to get out of the sick house if you stay there you won't get better please I feel overly tired and weak and I don't feel safe driving like this you should have come over much earlier this pisses be off if you have cone over earlier you wouldn't be sick in a house full of mold where'd that come from from now on you come up my house midday on Sundays sorry it's not your fault that Dad house is full of mold I don't think it's full of mold but you need to minimize your time there I'm glad you're a mold expert uh excuse me you're acting like the mold expert you freaking psycho I 19 live 1 hour away in college and made the grave mistake of sleeping in on the weekend you [ __ ] are you coming home today Sweet Child of Mine what's up all right I'm getting nervous I'm going to have to call the dorm and get them to send someone to knock on your door I am an absolute sick Panic I've tried to call the desk and nobody's down there guess I'm going to have to just come over there I don't know what else to do I wish you would answer me are you serious I I was asleep yes I'm serious I'm glad you were asleep you need to get a better grip on yourself you know what that is the truest statement anyone's ever made against an insane parent you have got to get a grip mom you have to understand that you go out and door Dash right what how am I supposed to know that someone didn't snatch you up or you had a wreck and you're in the hospital I can't exactly come check on you myself you don't need to obviously I was calling over over and over and texting it's 2 it not like I'm panicking at 9:00 in the morning I haven't door dashed in 2 weeks I was sleeping and I'm supposed to know that how how why are you supposed to know that at all I never know what you're doing I don't know when you leave campus I'm an hour away from you and you stay up all night and still don't sleep till 2: you need to leave me alone I haven't done anything wrong by literally sleeping in on the weekend 19 years old and I can do whatever I please especially sleep in no ma'am if I'm worried about you then I'm going to do whatever I have to do to make sure you're okay you could have answered your phone and said I'm sleeping then I would have left you alone and not worried that is super not true I was sleeping therefore I did not see or hear you call first thing I see is an RA looking at me so sorry for worrying about my child you're so righteous so sorry for sleeping in on the weekend as an adult you know what I'm going to give you exactly what you asked for and leave you alone as an adult oh my God shut up up woman you can come get this adult car insurance bill that's $400 a month this Christmas can go back since you're so grown you're so grown what but what you ain't going to do is disrespect me you deserve the disrespect you're acting like a toddler God forbid I sleep in i'ed how grown you think you are FYI you're still a teenager sure technically speaking 19 is still a teenager however still an adult so sorry see you next weekend maybe no we're straight threaten somebody else threaten what was my threat yeah yeah don't ever talk to your mom again not until she gets you know a therapist and years and years of help my mother everyone how's married life I'm looking forward to the day that you lose your partner and may feel the need to come back to me it will be satisfying to be able to shut the door in your face you are not a nice person it's so sad how hateful you've turned out to be why in the world am I getting the sneaky suspicion that your mom is a complete psychopath my partner and I eloped and didn't invite anyone the crazy part is that my mother expressed multiple times that she didn't want to come before we even started talking about Al oping she doesn't accept me and wants nothing to do with me and she doesn't support the marriage or like my partner not to mention I haven't spoken to her in 18 months and she threatened to kill my cat yet she still sends me these insane ramblings approximately two to three times a week she also doesn't see the irony in calling me not nice and hateful immediately after saying she hopes my partner leaves me so she can reject re me further not pictured is where she said she hopes that I live a lonely miserable life and that she never loved me H cool you know very very epic you know what else is epic all that merch over at MK shop.com using codee boobin it check out for free shipping sorry I had to do it I had to it just popped into my head I haven't done one of those in a little while haven't in a little while don't worry we'll get back to whatever the hell is going on here now Mom gets mad at me for confronting her about driving Under the Influence I also have an audio recording for anyone that wants want it that was fun now how do you want to proceed what did you think you are entitled to I pay for your phone it can be shut off why is it always always the phone I'm going to turn off your your phone if you actually meant your apology then you'll start making changes I'm not going to put up with drunk driving first of all had I known I would have just walked home you endangered both yourself and me and I will definitely not be talked down to for wanting to be safe this is ridiculous you are ridiculous get you license buy a car and get out if you don't want to be a part of this family okay so easy to get a job okay get a babysitter for tomorrow and I'll start packing my things do you even know how much an average job pays LOL well I was offered a room here exactly 1 hour ago bring me some boxes so I can start packing or we can work on that together tomorrow oh I love being able to call that being able to call a bluff like this is beautiful so tell me should I call blank now no what then you're not evicting me I am so ready to leave I have about five people offering to house me at no cost at least initially and any minimum wage job will pay more than you do we can do this anytime meaning you have been talking [ __ ] to five people wow that is all you got that is all you got honey good Lord I'm finished I will not speak to you again unless you apologize and think about what you did and said me 19 and my mother 43 I paid $25 for that exactly it was more than when she last told me oh okay no it's $25 has been still is okay then jez your memory ain't right and that's been proven so it ain't an argument hey there so if you remember me I posted a story about uh me I posted message threads here of my mother attempting to force me to go to dinner and then freaking out on me when I declined unfortunately the situation furthers today I went to go shopping with my grandparents blessed their amazing souls and while I was out she added a lock to my room door with all my items still ins side so now I have no access to my room I'm tempted to climb through the window but I don't want to escalate the situation further any help or advice anyone could give would be great oh man I hope someone actually had some very good advice on this situation I'm the type of guy that would just kick the door in and leave with all my stuff but I mean that's not advisable at all mother gets pissed about me 16 going to my grandma when she told me I could go and then wonders where I am also jumps to conclusions without asking first and when asking pushing away my answer where are you just got on the trolley that's not true where the hell are you going you have to get home right after school have except if I said differently wow giving someone a heart attack after you gave them permission then I'm going you're not supposed to be doing that unless I said you could uh I was on my way to blank but then you said I had to go to Granny so I changed my course you were still at school no don't lie to me I immediately went out of school on the train to wherever didn't you hear the train in the background when we called if you're on your way home then you don't have to ask me if you can go to gr or not what I wanted to go to Granny so I thought I might ask before I was too far away oh good lord oh parents you got to grow up best friend's mom kicks her out then goes on a rant to me about her life are you working tonight I was wondering if you would like to come watch a Christmas movie and maybe make a project list or just hang there's stuff you could help me with but really that was just an excuse to get you to come over they didn't just move out she kicked them out oh I see blank moved out she moved in with my dad so I'm down a child you've always been my favorite I think we might be kindred spirits I just wanted you to know that you're always welcome here you don't need an excuse to come over you can just show up I always have 10,000 projects happening you don't have to be a worker it's just how I roll I'm a weirdo I'm a rebel ddy you don't want to get mixed up with someone like me but it's fun at my house there's music and I make food hi I was working I couldn't respond until now maybe another time like I said I'd love to come over whenever I'm not working it's okay honey do you know the thing about a adults adults aren't really adults we're kids pretending we know what we're doing except your mom maybe your mom seems to know how to do adulting I don't your mom's good at it my mom was neglectful and borderline abusive but sure also come on look the the the cutesy weird adult speak is strange your mom's really good at adulting I don't know how to do the adult thing you see I'm kind of a cool Mom oh my God there's more I always thought I'm okay I give my kids a super fun life and a decent House have a job and work and stuff but apparently I'm awful sorry I'm just just upset now not something I should be venting to you about you have enough stuff do you remember that time I made you go to Fort eie I made you paint the shed and fed you Doritos and ice cream was that a bad thing or was it a fun thing I don't know was it Jesus Christ it's like Langston going on in control cuz you can't tell him to shut up oh there's more stop it I was doing 177,000 things inside raising children by yourself is hard also owning two homes sorry I suck I do excessive tting when I want to talk okay bye why don't you you know what no not bye why don't you find a therapist you've been raising kids you've been working you own two homes I feel like you should be able to afford therapy at least a couple times a month formula is evil so give your baby eoli and salmonella instead these idiots are going to get someone killed yes and then they're going to blame anyone but themselves oh don't drink raw milk don't give raw milk to anybody man I know that there are a lot of people out there that do drink it and they're totally fine but there are times I I would never play this roulette where it's just gonna [ __ ] you up all store-bought baby formula is dangerous and unhealthy completely untrue here is how to make a natural baby formula wow okay Shake It Up in a bottle and give it to your child I'm not even going to I'm not going to read that aloud so if you're tabbed out just just know that it's garbage I guarantee they will love this drink raw eggs should never be given to a baby as they may contain salmonella and lead to food poisoning please don't give your baby food poisoning raw milk raw egg not good playing Santa in the battle of the bulb I'm going to take a guess that Grandma wanted one of the lamps that is already in use by me don't worry about it I went to Rona and got her a new one that would have been one suggestion or the restore would have been another don't worry about it she is standing in front of the security camera all night long calling us [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] all night long stop acting like such an [ __ ] tour then I guess thanks for your help have fun and flers why the hell did she text like that what is going on just another day living with my 34 at the time now 35 my mother 70 and her mother 90 Grandma's table lamp by her recliner died today I suspect the ancient wiring finally gave up unsuccessfully tried a new bulb and checked the power outlet which worked fine rather than simply move one of the many other lamps around the house that my mother owns or the one in the hall that my grandma says she gave me but my mother uses so moving it would piss her off I ended up bundling up and taking a quick trip to the mall on my Mobility Scooter yay hip dysplasia to grab a new one funds are tight but $30 on a cheap lamp isn't going to bankrupt us I called my mother earlier to let her know that the lamp died uh while she was out doing her flower delivery job figuring since it was the holiday she wouldn't make a fuss over a new lamp it could probably grab one While She Was Out She said Grandma who is barely mobile and without a car right now because my mother is driving it while her oh my God can buy her own lamp I got this text and okay yeah yeah okay woo there you go there you go that one was a little long- winded for what it was but yeah jerks father wishes I was aborted for my sake same not you me anyways I know I'm not worth to anyone so why can't I bring myself to end it if I didn't care about you at all you'd have been blocked by now probably right after you said you wish you'd aborted me I said that because sometimes I wish I had of only for your sake M I guess I regret trying drugs and I said same to you when you said blank was pregnant I made blank get to but the day you fell into my arms I felt love for the first time clearly not enough to change your life I found with my mother she'll say whatever she feels she needs to in order to win at the conversation but like when she's blatantly caught in a lie there's never an acknowledgement of that never an apology for the mistruth it's always justification after justification no matter what I said that because I meant it because of completely unrelated thing I like how your father types out that message like only for your sake and mine and there's no edit like I know they don't read them back before sending but good Lord the lack of any self-awareness is insane big issue is they definitely do know what they are saying the type of Personality they have is undefeatable it it really really is you can never win with these mofos abusive mother tries to financially control me please stop trying to contact me you know what you did wrong you were the person who belittled me to the point of having piles of Trauma from you you as you know I will be at blank next school year and will be blank if you choose to accept your actions I will consider a future where I might communicate with you if you don't then I'll likely not consider to allow you into my life good set that boundary good to know you won't be needed your college money then I can let blank use it watch your mouth you're not an adult yet you could just say thanks for the gift what gift uh if you do not want to give the movie passes to oh I see I will take this as your answer then if you change your mind later feel free to message me again no you do not get to treat me like trash um yeah they do I don't give a if you're the parent the grandparent and just an elder in general whatever you have zero right to be an [ __ ] abusive a jerk worthless and then turn around and say well I'm the parent so I am irrefutable I cannot be talked to like yeah you can and I'm glad that you are being talked to this way then when are you decide to forgive me so you can get your college money you're acting like a spoiled child trying to make adult decisions okay you know what I'm the type of person or I would absolutely tell them what they want to hear i' get that college money and then block them see you bye-bye I mean I don't know how much it is but money's money baby get that bag block that [ __ ] why do I keep trying Hey Jay where are you please oh boy I will not call you anymore I am hurt upset and flat out angry I raised an intelligent smart young woman who apparently must learn the hard way like her mother did okay let's perpetuate that I felt flat out stupid when your father slept with the [ __ ] what's going on now you're going down a road similar to mine I prayed God would send him home and he saw differently he sent me a humble God-fearing person who is not perfect but loves okay now it's a sermon cool okay please pray and make sure that what you're willing to settle for and give up wait oh what I I autocorrected it oops brain mil worky we love you but are not happy with your current decisions okay have a good one I guess she believes my boyfriend has cheated on me through rumors he has not and now we have this to deal with ah okay I told my mom I wasn't well enough to see her for the weekend and this is how she reacts I've already had doctors Etc just trying to take care of myself she makes me feel guilty for putting myself first well that's what [ __ ] do I cooked a shepherd's pie at 3:00 a.m. from scratch you look after yourself as usual watch a film or sit on this forever talking to you just look after yourself well that's what the doctors say try calling doctor for results why don't you do that don't keep messaging me and not wait don't keep messaging me and not read my messages okay uh they're not messaging you right now you're not the only one ill what you yes you should be looking after me oh God forbid oh okay you're a complete [ __ ] you never have a good night's sleep been listening to this for a year you put yourself there tough is it for [ __ ] sake call an ambulance or nit yourself a nit yourself a backbone okay this person's a clear douche but that's actually a pretty funny line you have to admit don't want to be with me that's fine don't keep tormenting me on and on and on you wouldn't know what ill was you weird AF if you walked around your kids or siblings naked oh no they're going to witness what giving birth to they bad little stubborn asses did to me appreciate being alive and well shut the hell up and go to their room if they don't like it wow that is so creepy that is so creepy and weird it just it is I need to talk to someone my mom has serious problems and keeps making me anxious while I'm trying to recover from an illness she thinks she's the victim because I haven't gone out to pick up Christmas presents I'm too sick to do that she's too stupid and drunk to realize what she's doing definitely not going to do this next year the Stress and Anxiety on me to get them sent is not worth it and then worrying when you're going to get them or open them but nothing is going to get in the way of my holiday season this year whatever happens happens God can you use periods and commas more often anyway I react to that like that one looks like an accident yeah that period right there was not intentional react to them amazing how I change nothing and nobody affects my piece of mind anymore saddest part for me is I baked xus cookies and sent them so you could have them LOL and drove in a frenzy to the post office I've been sick and alone she is neither too stupid nor too drunk to know what she's doing she knows exactly what she's doing stop letting her how you don't respond she's baiting you don't take that bait oh absolutely parents like this all they want to do is argue they need a way to feel Superior they need something that can make them feel smarter feel like they one feel dominant so to speak so that's what they do friend had a question about her 3 months with colic oldtime remedy boil onion with a little water and give him the juice when my son was a baby one of the elderly neighbor ladies suggested a teaspoon of beer in some water she said the baby will either burp or fart and relieve the gas pain she was right three drops of whiskey 4 o of water works fine uh okay all right look I have heard of Boomers talking about putting a little bit of whiskey on their uh their finger and rubbing it on the baby's gums good Lord it is an infant right an small tiny person don't give it beer don't give it onion juice don't give that baby whiskey what is wrong with you what no raspberry in a sock while facing the moon but no they go for those untried crockpot remedies my friend's parents are absolutely insane please stop using your card or I'm going to have to take it back you have bills to pay I got things I needed and it's my money anyway yes but you have a responsibility to pay your bills which are going to be deducted from your checking account so that comes first I got bras stoping fighting me on everything I'm exhausted no you're not okay just let me know go outside in 10 minutes I'm not sure but how do I tell if my blood sugar is low why I feel shaky tired and I feel like I'm seeing things weird and I'm weak you're fine you always say that all right if there's one one lesson every single parent in the entire United States maybe the world needs to learn your kids are not always lying about being sick stop it are you awake yeah hey how did everything go with blank good I guess hey I'm not engaging in this immature line of conversation when you could speak like a civilized adult oh Christ dude the question asked is insane the response seems good we spied on our teenage daughter with a hidden camera now what do we do parents who installed a camera in the eye of their daughter stuffed bear ask how and whether to compl clean about their surveillance now that she has left for college oh good lord wow excuse me is that not grounds for some kind of suit look I know that Americans are overly litigious and whatnot but I'd probably try to sue my parents or something if I found out they put a camera in my room my narc mother stole my ass ID my keys then kicked me out again for unplugging the ice maker posted this on Facebook the day after manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their disrespect read that again unknown yeah I'm glad the person that invented that little poem didn't credit themselves cuz that is lame and stupid oh yes winner winner that was definitely invented by a mom who has a superiority complex she also told me that her kicking me out has no hard feelings I'm assuming by SSID you mean your Social Security identifier usually abbreviated SSN for social security number and not service set identifier which is the name of a Wi-Fi network if your mother stole your social security number then you need to call the police and file a report that is Thoroughly illegal I agree with this she could ruin your credit score and many other things report her wish you could respond and say no manipulation is treating me how you do then getting on Facebook to act like you're a victim instead of the insane villain you actually are much better it's best you don't but I wish you could it is best you don't but yeah she took your social security card call the police that is not okay for anyone to do for context I was talking to a friend I hadn't spoken to in a long time after moving away due to family issues she found out because she has access to my email I will let granny know if you can't answer me and you are talking while in class that's a problem none of her business we aren't doing anything right now so I don't see why it's such a big deal you know while you're in class you do not text or email email and her asking personal questions is unacceptable if you don't see that son that's a problem how about instead of chewing your head off I create blocks and also give all this info to Granny what you start hiding [ __ ] and that is a problem for everyone you are not supposed to be communicating with people from this school and you know that oh shut up uh for the most part I stayed backed off son but this is unacceptable this is not a friend this is trouble by the way she does not talk to Dean I asked him do you understand where I'm coming from that was a BS rule you came up with that I never agreed to she's the only person I'm talking to plus I'm not hiding anything and actually she does cuz he told me himself that she came up to him and talked for a little bit she isn't trouble she's just a concerned friend that was asking a harmless question hello not harmless not concerned not friend just acquaintance you almost 18 you can't be wow she really checklist did that good Lord son the people here wear bad for you we want the best for you and everyone on all sides have sacrificed for you to have a better life all right see that's another thing dear parents and I do mean all parents I understand that it's going to be tough to make sacrifices for your kids you know whether you chose to have that child or not your life is going to uh it's going to face some consequences right we totally get it however if you hold that over your kid and you constantly and moan and complain and use those sacrifices that you made allegedly out of love against us you are a bad parent I understand bringing it up and saying do you not realize what I have been through to try and give you the best life I possibly could but no parents really frame it that way they usually frame it like this everyone is sacrificed for you you should feel guilty until the day you die because I chose to have you I love you with all my heart you broke it and it still beats for you actually shut the hell up Merry Christmas to me I will be burning all photos School photos books cards School drawings and all evidence of you from my life and our family see exact opposite of what my mom did she found all the photos and brought them to me with a visit waste your time running to someone about this last email if you like but it will be the last time you hear from me ever therefore not necessary every evidence of you will be erased from our lives and you have given me the proof I need to cut you from any inheritance ever they're going to be missing out on the $14 and an old Whopper from now on you don't exist I have one daughter and all trace of you will be gone burnt as it should be I have one daughter and I am glad that I finally found the truth and what a liar you are and who will go to extreme lengths for Revenge your name will never be mentioned again and all Trace will be gone I promise this is the last contact as per the order I will be served on Saturday a stranger man a stranger sent me the weirdest email just now the email I received from my mother after she found out I got a restraining order against her am I in the wrong here how you feeling today still hurts but it's getting less so thank goodness it doesn't hurt as much as when I breathe but it still does when are you going to get your car don't you need it to go to volleyball tomorrow what anyway I'm not sure if I'll go to volleyball tomorrow since I still wouldn't be able to do much that's been a long time of pain but Padre and I might go to the gym so I'm not Rusty but you missed all last week I know but it's not worth it if I can't even do anything and I missed last week because we were in Florida and I'm coughing up a lot of yellowish mucus good Lord what did you get oh no better yellowish than greenish I wouldn't be able to do most of the exercises at practice because of the pain and it could make the inflammation worse by doing all that I mean at some point you're going to have to man up and get back in no that's not how recovery works I'm not Manning up I don't want to make my injury worse than it is okay I'd rather wait until it's nearly gone and go do well than go do bad and make it worse or have to sit out for longer sure I 16 have had costocondritis is that did I read that right inflammation where your ribs join the bone in the middle of your chest been to multiple doctors and been given meds for it all but still going through it and a lung infection been coughing and puking for about 2 to 3 weeks now and I'm not exaggerating when I say it hurts to breathe or move I play volleyball and I've had to skip out on many practices because of the pain and also traveling to see family mom wants me to go back to practice and man up I said no because I don't want to risk making it worse the doctors told me I needed to rest as well but remember your mom's smarter than any doctor all right I'm not trying to be rude but I feel like she isn't taking my diagnosis and pain seriously enough I know there's worse stuff going on but I just wish you would take this seriously am I in the wrong here or being an ass over nothing you are not in the wrong here your mother's supposed to be a mother ah or alternatively sigh I think my body was fighting the flu again everyone at work has pretty much had it and I got a flu shot stop taking those things they only make things worse not good for you shots all shots yes you have all the shots you need you know shots are the reason why we've eradicated polio other really bad the flu shot never worked I get the feeling that the only book your mom has ever read is Facebook abusive mother 54 makes life a living hell I was normal three kids ago I liked myself three kids ago you kids are [ __ ] stupid my dad told me to add pum or I guess infant rice cereal to my two-month old's bottle I'm the same lost my voice for a week now been very sick put a little bit of Plum I don't know what that is in his bottle a couple of spoonfuls he is hungry that is why he wakes up so much he needs just a little solids paum I miss you all no you can't do that anymore it's not allowed anymore it can mess up their digestion well shake it lots before you give it to them it worked good for you and your sister not a lot of but he just really likes saying the word no you can't do that anymore no solids until 6 months it can ruin their digestion they don't even sell that stuff anymore either okay yeah I've seen it in London Drugs okay shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up it's outdated you can't do that anymore old school rules it works okay but you are still wrong keep up with anything dude he won't choke it's just a little thicker in the bottle I love that I I think this is the best strategy you are just sending the exact same message copy paste every time you can't do that anymore it's not allowed you can't do that anymore it's not allowed you and he just doesn't get it it he just will not come back with anything other than well it was fine for you guys so it's totally scientifically correct and I am right and you are dumb you need to send one more text I already answered you I will not be talking about this topic anymore I am the parent and my decision is final I just wanted to wash my clothes I'm going to tell you this once again don't you ever wash clothes in my washer take all this trash out again sorry but I needed them washed I didn't want you to do them because I didn't want it to be an inconvenience to you but you don't have to be mean to me for trying to take care of things myself I don't really see the issue because I know how to do laundry just fine I thought it was helpful because you'd have to do less no thanks I've told you before unless you can replace it if it screws up while you're using it don't touch it what I said no you want to do your own laundry walk your ass to a laundry mat laundry mat understood cause obviously you didn't get it when I told you this before you are 18 now no one is legally obligated to keep you anymore okay goodbye the second you can you are out of there don't say I'm sorry no do not apologize in any way shape or form you have zero reason to do so yikes not on your part I'm not yikes and you apologizing I'm yiking this this person this creature from the deep this woman sounds like she walked out of cauldron Lake okay

Channel: EmKay

Views: 336,094

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, InsaneParents

Id: fTFlkbIo_GM

Length: 30min 44sec (1844 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 17 2024