r/DnDGreentext Top Posts of All Time #58

what are your thoughts on using the Sun as an evil entity of some sort can never look at it it gives people cancerous growths from prolonged exposure people used to sacrifice others to appease it older than history and will likely outlive us it's basically surrounded by the corpses of its stillborn bredrin or children has flaming tentacles that lash out every minute well looks like it's time to fight the Sun again hey what's up our names Kelly and welcome to another the indie green text as always enjoy the video player brings girlfriend to the session she doesn't participate at all only occasionally says something she read on Twitter or read it I mean it's not the Instagram so that's nice I asked that to bring her again if she's not playing perché was a feat bought virgin service we eventually talk it out and my player says he won't bring her if she's not going to play he brings her again she doesn't play good thing my friends either don't have girlfriends or their girlfriends or wives are actually interested in the game so it sounds like a you problem you tried that being you yeah sounds like it's your fault for having some friends player brings girlfriend to the session she participates more than he does and doesn't make cringe même and video game references all the time caimans they break up a few months later invite her back and let him create or destroy boner this guy's boner enhance owner more decadence magnificent boner bestow boner how to elbow drop your dragon be me the deal run a prison camp escape like it's Vorkuta step 1 secure the keys step 2 ascent from darkness step 3 rain fire step 4 unleash the Horde step 5 skewer the winged beast step 6 will the fist Veeran step 7 raise hell step 8 freedom everything goes as planned steps 1 through 4 dragon flies over camp players enter building and obtain a larger phangan frontier roof dude 3 imprison players is riding a dragon aim hit marker that NPC prisoners hold the rope and pull dragon down a bit a hundred and fifty feet up warlock uses magic carpets to fly towards the dragon hurricane Archer lands banishing shot on dragon pop dot mp3 harpoon hits the ground dude lands on her poon ring of spells during Plus volley of arrows plus her poon equals a happy barbarian barbarian throws a volley of huge weapons Raddatz chests whole lot jpg dragon pops back in and sees that master heist words dead dude paladin uses Moonbeam on the Dragon Mon beam has a height of 40 feet dragon lands warlock is on his carpet about 180 feet up above the dragon I roll up the carpet that mp3 you what that JPEG warlock confirms action I elbow drop the dragon warlock hits Moonbeam on the way down and triggers tomb of the vistas I sparked warlock lands on dragon spine 75 damage killing dragon warlock takes no damage my worst experience as a DM I played the game with level 1 characters all good or neutral it was my first time as a DM and everyone was pretty experienced let me just cut out some key quotes to give you a bit of an understanding as to what happened I kicked the box of medical supplies into the ocean if the orphan comes close to me I'm gonna punch it in the face I join in kicking the orphan I caused the distraction by throwing my torch into the orphanage I want to poop into my hand and then shove the poop down his throat to kill him I drink the vial of acid if that dog gets any closer to me I'm just gonna punch it in the face does my hand still smell like poop I run away and immediately pretend like I don't know any of the rest of the group I like the slowest guy it and it was a typical by the way even though they outnumbered the last encounter they went in single file and got annihilated one by one well except for the one guy who died from drinking acid and the guy who smartly run away partway through be me gaming a party of cursive strat 5th edition giving a very brief description of the module something about traveling across lands to defeat an ultra powerful vampire lord sree players all start to look at each other one asks for the players can have known each other before the game started sure they tell me they'll make the party ask if they're sure they wanna do this on their own as I usually help them with character creation they insure me they've got it this time not even a day later on discord realize all my players are weebs as they send me pic related and asked if it's ok if they play them for this campaign can't tell if they're serious I haven't responded yet I can't tell if this will be the worst or the best game I'm about to DM do it you have to do it assume they're serious until proven otherwise our party is fighting a rival a Hobgoblin with lots of magical items in gear we're slowly losing this to the hobgoblins hi-c and our terrible roles in a moment of brilliance our party rogue decides to attempt locking the armor off of the Hobgoblin he gets into an argument with Artyom about why he couldn't do that the GM remarks the clocks are stationary and don't try to fight back rogue asks the rest of the party to dog pile and immobilize the Hobgoblin so he can remove the armor the Hobgoblin proceeds to cleave down almost everyone in a single hit I say [ __ ] it and managed to push him off of a cliff with the GM flopping at the seam disappearing into the river below swearing vengeance tog and GM keep arguing about how undressing and lock-picking differ the GM remarks that the hobgoblins Armour was magical anyway so it wouldn't have worked back in town the road wants to enchant his lockpicks so they could pick magical locks anyway she dropped be allowed to use lock picking skill for other things than picking locks also could other skills be used for other purposes in a similar fashion our gym wasn't yet 100% sure if you should allow it or not yeah I'm not really a hundred percent sure leader if that [ __ ] allowed or not but let me know your thoughts on this in the comments below if you want actually very interested in reading them public game at the store first mistake playing D&D 5th edition second mistake some high school kid of 14 or 15 joins in the game her mistake no okay forget what he played human or elf or something barbarian or fighter not a lizard fault that's for sure since this is his first time playing any tabletop game oh no he mentions his character is a cannibal oh god please no friendly NPC gets killed by a stray arrow during battle says he will immediately go over and start eating the corpse in front of everyone the guardsmen attack him our PC paladin attacks him he doesn't understand why he was attacked and killed so we had to explain it to him for over a minute but surprisingly enough I think a minute is like pretty bird for explaining if that kind of thing to someone I just feel like one minute isn't that long I don't know I overhear him talking to the guy besides him that he based his character off of his MLP OC this kid not only mentions that he made his cannibal Pony OC and that he was playing as him but next week he's going to make another cannibal character shut up for one more game and stopped showing up presumably because nobody liked his character this is the most cringy story I got but I got stories that are even more stupid from that group why do players turn into such big babies the moment they find an actually threatening villain I had the following occur PCs are hired by the local baron along with 15 other men-at-arms for a total of 25 with the Barons personal guard they are tasked with tracking down a bandit lord and killing them they found out along the way that this bandit road passes himself more of a revolutionary it wants to see all of the royalties heads on pikes they eventually catch up with him at this point a few of the NPC's have died so there are only 21 of them this is the Bandit Lord has a lot of dudes around and lots of monstrous races among his ranks they find out the tribe of ogres signed on with him plan her attack end up through a series of events involving the Bandit world seeking a remote mining town confronting the Lord directly the guy is an old battle-scarred sort of guy tells the pieces that he's willing to bet everything on this gamble and they won't stand in his way asks the PCs why they're doing this for money for country piranhor etc pieces feel threatened by him for a variety of reasons they decide to cut and run leaving the rest of the mercenaries and the burns Knights to die bandit captures most of the NPC's instead of killing them eventually releases them with word of the Craven party and with various messages of the rebellion success word spreads PCs are branded cowards who'd abandoned barons knights and their fellow men at the first sign of trouble PCs are also branded contract breakers since they did sign a contract saying what they were supposed to do players angry at me am I wrong to punish them for the same thing to just up and run now they sound like a bunch of [ __ ] alright does it for this video I hope you guys enjoyed leave a like if you did and subscribe for more as always big thank you told patreon supporters you can see their names on screen so thank you guys for doing a patreon supporter there's a link below if you know join that and be one yourself there's cool little perks like early access to videos and whatnot yeah I don't know check that out also links below to other social media the discord server and whatever else yeah that's it thanks again for watching and I'll see you next time already bye you

Channel: SkyDieRay

Views: 61,359

Rating: 4.9695477 out of 5

Keywords: skydieray, dnd stories, dnd greentext stories, dndgreentext, dnd greentext, skydieray dnd, dungeons and dragons, d&d, d&d stories, dnd stories 4chan, d&d stories 4chan, r/, reddit, 15, second, stories, green, text, story, funny, dnd stories reddit

Id: UhbMy2ix6VM

Length: 10min 12sec (612 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 19 2019