r/Comedyheaven • got your nose!

shoulder surfing an observer watches you from a nearby location as you punch in your pin number at an atm machine or while you're using your laptop in an open area got him look out for that look over that shoulder surfer you'll never see him coming don't worry about the the foliage making wrestling sounds what's going on guys and welcome back to daily my name is damian and today we're going through r slash comedy heaven hey yo could the owner of the gargantuan bronze london head please move out of parking space 7b is we have very important produce deliveries are having shortly i don't know where how you got this in pyongyang in the first place but can you just get him out of here oh what do you gotta say linus tech tip computer he did it figure eight two moles per liter but do they wanna be in there do they want to share that leader i don't think so at the red lobster i will have the red lobster okay we ain't got it you what i think my uber i think my uber driver is in trouble hey you good hi unway i'm lost how did this happen dinesh tell me how you in the how are you in the water you want a boat danish pollen death star any questions how could nobody love me any questions about the pollen the invisible man one star rating but it was a good movie oh i see you could see the man who fought world war ii japan germany maurice or italy oh i think all of them did actually soldier returns from a three-year mission and finally meets his geforce gt610 oh he's he's outdated to hell man tell him to get a new one let's crack my neck a little bit our new shrek play area is ready for the children including friends like cat and shoes biscuit guy an unpleasant mule go go ghost ahead of shrek hey drew it's brendan fraser from the movie george of the jungle just wanted to stop by and wish you a happy birthday thanks but it's not my birthday i was also in mummy remember that one my kids have attended this school for three years and we love it here i found the majority of teachers are excellent oh sorry i don't want to i don't want to finish reading your review this one survey was catching my eye though one star my son was karate chatted and throw up by a naruto wannabe well you know what maybe you should have fought back that's why you got one like maybe he should have been the sasuke it was naruto 10 things nasa doesn't want you to know moon boy this homeless guy found my mom's phone and keeps facetiming me telling me he's my new dad hey shannon said what's that you look at me hey look at me i'm gonna do dad he's looking down like yeah whatever man whatever dude my man was in a relationship with nicole pod uh prado for what looked like a day never mind she cheated yo i'm sorry man the subway i've been waiting here for hours and still no train get a hold of someone things i got for christmas a new laptop your nose nice got my nose for christmas hope that honker suits you bro jesus your bmi indicates you are obese so i suggest that you focus on watching what you eat to lower this value whatever so you don't like the body of christ huh [Laughter] god speed no no no no god peed hey pepsi tastes like soap [Laughter] what kind of soap do you use clint pepsi you know just looks like it could turn into soup [Laughter] take a look your front door camera spotted a person at 2 37 p.m it's just a dapper looking fella wants to sell you something like this is a tender moment and all let's look at the guys on the far left here trying to take a photo he opened up the front-facing camera oh no what could be the pitch for ed ladell inventor of the barbecue chicken pizza rest in pieces oh only three things about him early life pizza and death oh my god it's clearing the lease no pets are allowed in the apartment sorry what about this little guy okay i'll make an exception because he looks very polite yeah in 2002 pope john paul ii requested that media stop referring to the car as the popemobile saying the term was undignified but it's the popemobile kill them all slowly and painfully the artist wrapped at a 2004 anti-us protest concert is wait did psy really say that hold on oh my god he did say that no way yo sign really said that what sorry that's like blowing my mind right now i'm kind of astonished i've been trapped in this movie theater watching rang over the past 10 years they won't open the door and i haven't gotten any new snacks i'm surviving purely off of water and the popcorn if i did between the seeds a little bit a little bit of ice water the water melted from ice the best and worst rat of the week who better to say this than me the best rat is chris chris settled in really well with his new cage mates it always races to the door to say hello to people the worst rats maurice he's just a real [ __ ] give me more of these i like this more of these please dog looked a baby's head i saw it the baby was bald uh how how exactly was this a shower thought i remembered it in the shower that's how here's my uh science science fair exhibit how much sawdust can you put in the rice krispie treat before people notice the answer is not above 30 sawdust brand new never been worn engagement ring girlfriend fell off a cliff of dead on impact 14 karat 66 can't i'm .66 ct i don't know what ct stands for i'm guessing count.66 count a thousand is a steal of a deal we gotta get we gotta get a putty knife to scrape my girlfriend off the off the pavement so just please can we come on make a deal with me what is a person from london called my neighbor's from london he's called rob oh they all called rob can you help bronco get home no fair enough oh actually yeah there's no way for you too is this the same or different person well that is that is some pasta hi are you still selling that mercedes car yeah can you send a photo here you go no i mean in the car i just wanna i'll you know i want to see what you look like if sexy benedict crime then i am a wrist obamani dashing bastard ah this boy's vague statement indicative of an expressive language problem does not convey the danger urgency of their situation well the shark looks friendly so i'll see there's there's a problem anyway so excited for season three which show bill hey please respect my privacy chris just i'm excited for season three what's the name of my food i want to eat them but forgot how they're called i can't ask anyone since i'm alone uh shrimp oh my god yes thank you i was wondering what they were called dear men please stop wearing sneakers this is not a drill butt feed shut hell up if i want to wear a sneaker i will what's wrong with weird sneakers i don't get it do plants sneeze hypothesis plants probably sneeze experiment feathers pepper feet conclusion plants don't sneeze i like that that was a fun science experiment how often would you like to get updates about beef stroganoff daily weekly a few times a month a few times a year or only if something big happens like what what what what what big thing could happen in the world of beef stroganoff take one it's a bag of sprite we got our wrath in the local mcdonald's it's crispy the fastest boat well it's steve he's currently the world's fastest boat with a water speed record of an eye watering 317.6 miles per hour that's steve your username is how you die how do you die ocean swimming i'm so sorry mexican school simulator i've i've lost my tacos can you help me find them oh no why is it rated 18 why is it 56 megabytes i don't care if she's a tape dispenser i love her hey yo you can't make love to a tape dispenser it's got serrated edges i just want to let it do that right now snail man i'm looking for my son is he there hi debbie if you go to our website you can contact your local target i have no son oh well we're sorry to hear that we don't know what happened between the time that we wrote that and you replied but bobby has four dimes amy has 30 pennies which child has more money bobby how do you know show your thinking oh he's thinking about bobby french school asks parents to stop throwing children over the fence when they're late well they gotta get in the class somehow don't they 2018 2019 oh hey can i get the original version please without the thing trying to figure out what this is supposed to say do not touch oh well why'd you put it in braille he wouldn't now he feels like stupid guy doesn't he i'm sorry man how to find out how old is a tree if you know when the tree is planted you can easily and accurately determine its age well yeah but i don't know what it was planted how am i supposed to know that turkeys are bright social animals who enjoy being pet just ask demi lovato i don't think i want to ask her uh what is your gender please select one male female i have no plans to purchase a new vehicle i'm that third one because i don't i really don't vote or die lebron i'm only 12 i can't even vote dude and i don't want to die what the heck lebron should clarify on your shirt man child eats whole watermelon including rind at cricket match that's how you know cricket's boring as hell that this dude was able to go there and show a crazier thing than what was going on the qriket match hey you want this playstation 5 you gotta dry it off first but fifteen hundred dollars a whale blasted an ungodly amount of assham all over some divers it was a 100 foot wide poop nato the wheel's smiling look he knows what he's doing what rhymes with orange no it doesn't oh got you there dude what everyone else sees a baby cuddled up what if you see a crunchwrap i want to be put into a coma is it possible yes thanks for asking thwack [Laughter] we'll see you in two months hi this is micro post we have difficulties getting you on the xbox database we require email and password to get you back on our database uh well let's learn to spell at school.com and pass this stupid kid oh my god you actually fell for it have fun getting heck be in for rude awakening what do you mean it doesn't work tfw that face when you find out it's monday bro why is this in my trash can he wanted you to know when it's monday when you find out it's monday all right he just wanted to help you find out and show you his face what it is monday would you trade it for a riding mower you could pick it up in league city hello if i understand correctly you would like to trade a riding mower for a 19 000 car and we will have to come pick up the mower yes is it made of gold no it's red no i think no the president the president of indonesia looks like the asian obama it's just a barack obama reskin you should have known that hi this is doordash canadian to your dash for updates about your order sorry sorry homie not doing this order getting paid three dollars or some miles isn't gonna happen lmfao screw you i'm not coming over there for no three dollar ass burger now you really ain't getting nothing eat some noodles why didn't harry potter drink liquid luck and then go kill voldemort oh cause he's a dumb ass he doesn't have that kind of brain power me at home me at balls nice melvin joined the clan melvin i help you die from heart failure chip dip what the hell man you made melvin leave the clan uh it's just chip dipping his hazing open me if you're reading this screw you dumbass hey you told me to open you the year is nine some motherfu be touching couch and oh boy he's about to invent cereal i beg your pardon beg go ahead i blow up my neighbor lily's just standing like hot dale with a mortar just being shot towards his feet hey come on we think how about you service your atms in bunbury so punters like me will not have to tape fish to them so you'll have no choice but to come and fix them i have more fish and tape and willpower than your entire organization fix them now i will keep taping these fish to your atms i am crying thought you were a good person i have never begged anyone like this before please just a photo of your listen that's it please oh my god you are down nuclearly he's down nuclear and that's gonna do it for our slash comedy heaven and i hope you guys enjoyed and if you did be sure to leave a like on this video and subscribe more videos just like this one and until next time my name is damian and we'll be back with your daily dose of daily or something like that

Channel: DeeLee

Views: 144,646

Rating: 4.9773483 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% true stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, ez pz, reddit funny, Comedyheaven

Id: TgBfYJc8f3U

Length: 12min 29sec (749 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 02 2021